SlamNation

Better Luck Tomorrow

2012-02-12T16:51:00.000-08:00

Just Keep Losing

2012-01-25T00:31:00.000-08:00

Let's take a look at a group of teams that have yet to win a game. Really? Four weeks in and no wins? Ouch. Interestingly, these four teams reside in just two of the divisions. As usual, the ultra-competitive Transformers division has every team above .500 and the Thundercats got their worst team out of the winless column last week. Here's a quick look at our worst teams so far this young season.

Jedi Knights (0-4)
It's been an ugly start of the season for this decrepit franchise. They are ranked 14th in 3PT, REB, STL, second-to-last in PTS, and last in AST and BLK (not to mention moves made). Their one bright spot? Turnovers, where they are ranked first in the league. All the promise from last year's roster has mostly been swept aside as players like Dorell Wright, Jared Dudley, and OJ Mayo have way underachieved. Perhaps a new arena deal and move is necessary?

Dirk Nowitzki is averaging only 5.4 REB per game, Nene is at only 13.4 PTS, and while there are some promising pieces, it all adds up to a whole lot of nothing. David Lee is back to his double double game and Wesley Matthews has built upon his breakout season. Other than that though, it's looking pretty bleak out there for a Jedi Knight. We think it's time for a focused rebuild, with Dirk being dangled for a brighter future.

Fob Stars (0-4)
While the Fobbies have faced a tough schedule early on -- opponents are 12-4 on the season -- there is still enough to cause concern for their ownership group. For one, they don't have a single player averaging more than 16 PPG. That's fine but there's also a whole lot of key players averaging less than double digits. In fact, the entire front line of Chris Kaman, Joakim Noah, and Emeka Okafor are under 10.0 PPG. Those three aren't rebounding that well either, as not one of them is over double digit rebounds -- which is not what Noah was brought in here for. Of course, the huge injury to Zach Randolph hurt, but Jimmy needs more from his big men.

Some bright spots include Chauncey Billups' 2.3 3PT, Nick Young's 16 PPG, and DJ Augustin's 6.6 AST. The return of Michael Beasley will be much appreciated and high hopes still rest on Evan Turner's all around game. Overall the team ranks last in FG% and STL, is weak in FT%, 3PT, REB, and is ranked 14th in AST and PTS. They are only above average in BLK and TO. We recommend waiting for some of these players to turn the corner and then maybe pursue a trade or two.

So Buckets (0-4)
While their expansion partner NJ All-Stars has zoomed out to a winning record, Josh's team has suffered the indignity of waiting for their first win. Facing off their first three weeks against teams that were a combined 10-2 wasn't helping matters either. A win last week against winless Funk Coalition would have been a nice moral boost but that didn't happen. Right now the So Buckets are looking forward to a big WK6 matchup against NJ All-Stars and then two games against other winless teams to right their season.

Statistically, this team has been average in most of the stat categories, shading stronger in FG% and TO, while being weak in FT% and BLK. Before the season, we loved this roster and there's still a lot to like, but when rookie Kyrie Irving is leading this team in scoring, it's more Cleveland Cavaliers than winning franchise. Pau Gasol should be at more than 15.8 PTS, David West has been really bad at 11.8 PTS, while Andre Igoudala and Gerald Wallace are still contributing across the board, but they are only combining for 27.4 PPG. It's too early to make too many moves here, but there might need to be a shakeup to get this roster a winning team that eschews PTS but does all of the little things.

Slam N' Dragon (0-4)
What a fall to the bottom of the standings for Thien's team. They almost won their first game of the season but since then have won fewer and fewer categories each subsequent matchup. Ovearll they are bad at FG% and turnovers, weak in PTS, and dead last in 3PT. They aren't too shabby in REB and are strong in BLK (Wade and Wall average 2.7 BLK combined) but there's not too many other high points here.

John Wall and Jordan Crawford are doing their best to sink the FG% category, and Wall has been a TO machine. Still, Wall is having a good sophomore season and he's going to be a fantasy gem for years to come. Rudy Gay has returned to the court with 18.9 PTS (but strangely, only 0.6 3PT) and Andrew Bynum is a beast down low. With Paul Pierce and Dwayne Wade rounding into shape and returning from injury, the Dragon has slumbered for awhile but is getting ready to rise up just after the Lunar New Year. The question is with this short regular season, is there enough time to catch up?

Smooth Moves

2012-01-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

With the owners jockeying to take advantage of the short season, trades have been abundant in this young SlamNation season. Last week, old friends Eric-L of the Fat Jubas and Evanof the Chunky Monkeys put together a small deal aimed at shoring up category needs.

The Monkeys shipped off DeMar DeRozan for 3 point shooter Aaron Afflalo and the versatile Austin Daye. Derozan will give Eric some much needed youth and should provides high volume scoring. For the Monkeys, the key to this deal was Afflalo and his long range capability as well as his defensive prowess. Austin Daye was seen somewhat as a project though his recent slate of starts have thrusted him into the Monkeys lineup.

According to the Monkeys' GM, Evan, "It was tough to give up DeMar - the kid was the most athletic guy we had in our lineup. I wish him all the luck with his new team. We're very happy to have Afflalo and Austin on our squad though. Aaron will be an immediate starter and we'll look for him to be that spot up shooter we're always looking for. Austin is the sleeper of this transaction. We love his upside, his versatility to play that PF position and his ability to hit the 3. We'll need coach to find him more minutes but we're looking forward to seeing him in more and more games."

(Chamberlain Conference) Silverhawks

2011-12-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

Fat Jubas (15-4)
Eric-L's team has won the Silverhawks division two years running -- while tying for most regular season wins last season -- and they look like they have one more solid run in them. The veteran core of Steve Nash, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett are incredibly efficient but they'll need some help this season. Brook Lopez regressed last year but could scoop up more REB this season. Oh wait, he's gone for two months, ouch. Marcin Gortat will have to pick up the slack then, and give the Jubas as much as he can. Nicolas Batum, Landry Fields, and Aaron Afflalo will add some young legs and athleticism and help the old guys stay alive for a deep post-season run. As currently constructed, the bench doesn't offer much -- Austin Daye, Beno Udrih, Brandon Bass, Ramon Sessions -- but they may need to step in when the veterans take some of those back-to-back-to-backs off. This team is outstanding in the percentage categories, as well as 3PT and TOs but don't offer much in the way of STL or BLK. And the only player slated to average more than 2.5 AST per game is Steve Nash.

Sour Snails (14-5)
Two Finals appearances, one championship, and the balls to trade off Lebron James. Having only lost seven total games during their franchises' history -- including the playoffs -- Trieu's team squad is the most dangerous team in the land. Back in the day, the Snails used to small ball with LBJ, Gerald Wallace, and Josh Smith providing insane REB/BLK numbers anyway, but now they are a much more traditional team. James and Wallace are gone, and it's up to Smith and Kevin Love to provide the rebounds for a team that loves to run. DeJuan Blair will help a bit here, but there's not much on the front line behind these three. On the other hand, the two Stephens (Curry and Jackson) will lead a free shooting offense of Danilo Gallinari, Raymond Felton, Rip Hamilton, rookie Jimmer Fredette, and Mo Williams -- trapped in China Aaron Brooks will hardly be missed. Few can compete with this team's 3PT, FT%, and STL numbers, but they could be a bit vulnerable on the glass or possibly in the PTS department. Still, until someone stops him, Trieu is the odds on favorite for another Finals appearance.

Fob Stars (6-13)
There's always a lot of high hopes for this franchise, at least on paper, but when the games get started, they invariably falter. With just ten regular season wins in their two seasons, Jimmy's team needed a big turnaround soon. Fortunately, it seems like they're headed that way this season. Their frontline is solid, with Zach Randolph, Joakim Noah, Emeka Okafor, and Chris Kaman dominating the REB and BLK categories. New acquisitions Michael Beasley and Nick Young will add some badly needed scoring punch while Evan Turner has to be better, right? We aren't sure if Chauncey Billups, DJ Augustin, and Lou Williams are the long term answers in the backcourt but they can pass a little and chuck up 3PT at least. With a bit of luck and tinkering, the Fob Stars should be strong enough in most categories to get to 0.500, despite competing in the same division as juggernaut teams such as the Sour Snails and Fat Jubas.

Jedi Knights (4-15)
Two straight years of four wins apiece. Needless to say, this team needs some help. The good news is their keeper core got a lot stronger with the surprising seasons by Dorell Wright and Wesley Matthews. With Dirk Nowitzki, Nene, and David Lee taking care of business in the paint, Chris' team may have finally gotten some balance. Wright, Matthews, OJ Mayo, and first round selection Jared Dudley will have this team raining threes all over the place. The question is if there's any point guards on this roster. We like Jerryd Bayless some, but he's not quite a PG and he's going to time share anyway. Rodrigue Beaubois and Iman Shumpert lend some hope but probably not much production. Still, despite the hole in the backcourt, the Knights shouldn't plateau at four wins again. We hope.

(Russell Conference) Voltron

2011-12-25T11:44:00.000-08:00

Slam'N Dragon (11-8)
It could have been Thien's worst to first story last season, as they won John Wall in the Toilet Bowl and went 11-8 after a 9-9 season. Instead they were upset by Human Amoebas and now must regroup to move forward. They still have Wall of course, and Dwayne Wade. Adding Tony Allen as the third guard will lock down STL for them, but we forsee Andre Miller or Baron Davis eventually stepping into the lineup. Paul Pierce and Rudy Gay are pretty much the same statistical players and are a fantastic SF pairing. Thien has also done a fantastic job complementing all this outside talent with Andrew Bynum, Tyson Chandler, and Marcus Camby to clear the glass and protect the rim. All three are notoriously injury prone so young PFs Tyler Hansbrough and Tristan Thompson will be used in relief if one of them does go down. We forsee big things for this team going into the 2012 season. If they can stay healthy.

Human Amoebas (9-10)
Despite being the defending SlamNation champions, Eric-A's team has yet to have a winning regular season record. Going from worst to first from 2010 to 2011 is pretty impressive though. They'll return with their killer backcourt of Derrick Rose, Eric Gordon, and Monta Ellis. Those three represent the best young guard trio in the league, and when paired with DeMarcus Cousins, Paul Millsap, and Andray Blatche, they have an incredible core. Omri Casspi will be the new starting SF, taking over for Michael Beasley, and big man Channing Frye will contribute by spreading the floor with his 3PT. Sitting on the bench are more guards, as Eric-A scooped up Jamal Crawford, George Hill, and Gary Neal in the draft. If they wanted to, the Amoebas could field a very strong small ball team against certain matchups. While we think there was more offensive explosion on last year's championship squad, the Amoebas are well positioned to contend again. And to finally get a winning record.

So Buckets (8-11)
The previous owner of this franchise made no roster moves and only one lineup change last season and still won the Toilet Bowl. This time, with a new hand at the helm, So Buckets could return right to the top of their division. The dispersal draft shook up the old roster a little and yielded Pau Gasol, Andre Iguodala, Gerald Wallace, David West, Darren Collison, and Toney Douglas. New GM Josh continued his nice work by drafting Kyrie Irving with the first overall pick to give him So Buckets a much needed franchise quality guard. Irving, Collison, and Douglas will be given the chance to grow together, as will talented starting SG Jordan Crawford. Such a strong frontline probably won't need Shawn Marion or Carl Landry much, but they're around to provide terrible hairstyles. Well, that seems to be Marion's job anyway. A late pickup for the Net-bound Mehmet Okur could be big -- as well as Mt. Biyombo in the last round. This team is well balanced and has no weaknesses except for a dearth of 3PT. However, their nice percentages, fantastic STL, and low TOs should allow them to challenge for a division title immediately.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (5-14)
Alvin won SlamNation right before we reset the rules and went to 16 teams, but since then it's been all downhill. The good news is that there's a lot of nice pieces on board. The young backcourt of Brandon Jennings, Devin Harris, Mike Conley, and Marcus Thornton aren't superstars but are individually promising. These guards average at least 1.0 3PT/STL each and the three PG are above 5.0 AST. Also, rookie Brandon Knight could emerge as another quality point guard option. The frontcourt is anchored by Amare Stoudemire but he'll need Roy Hibbert to step up his game beside him. Perennial tease Tyrus Thomas is Alvin's crack and he's back again. If neither him nor Hibbert step up, Amare is going to be all alone inside, unless you think rookie Enes Kanter is ready to contribute. In theory Andrei Kirilenko will support in STL and BLK but he's injured often and may not beat out Carlos Delfino at the small forward spot. The Pogis are probably looking at another last place finish in Voltron division but coming close to a 0.500 record would be a huge step up.

(Chamberlain Conference) Transformers

2011-12-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

LA Buffy (13-6)
After being a runner up in the 2010 Toilet Bowl, Buffy took their game up a level and won the tough Transformers division last year. They were upended by Sour Snails in RD1 but are looking to make a much deeper post-season run this time around. Traditionally stacked with big men, Roger has Marc Gasol, Elton Brand, Carlos Boozer, Lamar Odom, and Tim Duncan manning the paint. Danny Granger is the offensive focal point but he'll have to carry a much heavier load this season. There isn't a lot of backcourt answers here, as rookie Kemba Walker and Vince Carter are the starting PG and SG respectively. At the worst, they'll team with Granger and third guard Wesley Johnson to provide some good 3PT shooting -- losing Wilson Chandler to China didn't help at the swingman position. Buffy favorite Rashard Lewis is also around, happy for another chance. There won't be many AST from this team but they'll compete through FG%, REB, BLK, and low TOs. Oh and that Granger for Brandon Roy trade a few years back looks pretty great now right?

Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)
Oliver started off 8-0 last season before collapsing a bit and recovering just in time for the playoffs. His team has posted double digit wins in each of their first two seasons and are always contenders. We think Half and Half had a good draft and we like their added depth. Kevin Durant is now the uncontested alpha dog after last season's trade of Russell Westbrook and he'll have LaMarcus Aldridge's inside presence for a full season. Rodney Stuckey and Jarrett Jack will run the backcourt, with Anthony Morrow or Rudy Fernandez coming in to space the floor. A healthy Andrew Bogut and Anderson Varejao will help a lot, as will new King J.J. Hickson. And let's not forget JaVale McGee and his continuing ascent. We're a bit worried about Metta World Peace but this team's good chemistry should keep him on the level. Half Man Half ImAsian will be strong in 3PT, BLK, and FT%, while staying balanced all around. We smell another division win.

Squirtle Squad (11-8)
Showing some good growth, Brian's team has gone from eight wins to eleven last season. The problem is, they are in the toughest division and will likely need to up that number by another or or two wins to secure a playoff berth. The good news is: Lob City! After trading for Deron Williams last season, and having Blake Griffin emerge to rock rims, the fans have bought up every season ticket to the aerial show. Serge Ibaka is twice the defensive menace DeAndre Jordan is, and the three of them will team up with Joe Johnson to give this team a fantastic core. A saavy pre-draft trade brought Ty Lawson aboard (and shifted Ricky Rubio out) and he'll be the perfect third guard here. We also think Hedo Turkoglu, Ben Gordon, and Thaddeus Young were undervalued going into the season and their outside shooting will be much appreciated. If Greg Monroe can help Griffin and Ibaka out, this team is ready to take their first division title. Everyone had to Google Kenneth Faried when Brian drafted him, right?

2005 NBA All-Star Game (9-10)
This team's three letter identifier is "OLD," which is about right. We're not sure who's gonna babysit Derrick Favors and Ricky Rubio (a nice pre-draft grab) but we're thinking Jason Kidd. Although Mr. Kidd hasn't proven to be the greatest domestic partner so maybe that's not a good idea. After a division win in 2010, Steve's team is likely on the decline. Kidd, Jason Richardson, Caron Butler, Antawn Jamison, Manu Ginobili, Corey Maggette, and even Samuel Dalembert have all seen their best days. The veterans still have their productive qualities though, but will that be enough to keep Dwight Howard around? With an aging team, there's a chance Howard could opt-out and look for some teammates he can grow old with. Will Rubio and Favors be enough to convince him that he should stay? Maybe Dwight can babysit his young friends while the other guys keep farting along. Of course, the 2005 NBA All-Stars could be sneaky good this season. They have nice 3PT, great STL, strong BLK if Dalembert pans out, and could even outscore most of the league. Hum, a glorious ride into the sunset perhaps?

(Russell Conference) Thundercats

2011-12-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4)
A playoff team each of their last two years, as well as tying for the best record overall last year, Jose decided his team was too good and declined to draft during his last three rounds, perhaps in order to give himself more of a challenge. Bold move my friends, bold move. He says it was because the holiday season kept him off the computer but we believe J is just masterminding some crazy trash talk after he wins despite fielding 3/4ths of a roster. On paper, there's not a lot of superstars on this team aside from Kobe Bryant and Rajon Rondo, but this roster is cannily constructed. Kevin Martin and Al Horford are high efficiency fantasy standouts. Jason Terry helps in all the right SG categories. And if Kris Humphries keeps on averaging a double double, J's team will have plenty of REB and BLK to go with all that outside shooting. There's no small forward on this team yet, as promising rookies Derrick Williams and Kawhi Leonard are both power forwards. Either one could take over the top big man role from Amir Johnson pretty soon. We'll see how J decides to fill out his roster but we have no doubt he'll be a contender once again.

Funk Coalition (9-10)
After aggressively turning over his roster over the past few seasons, Jon is ready for a playoff run. The only original draft picks left here are Tony Parker and Al Jefferson. All six of their keepers are potential 20+ ppg guys, and they will finally have some offensive chutzpah. Russell Westbrook, Parker, and Tyreke Evans should be a strong backcourt, while Carmelo Anthony, Jefferson, and newly acquired Chris Bosh will complement each other well. There isn't much proven depth here though, as sophomores Gordon Hayward are slotted for backup swingman and first big off the bench positions. If they can't handle the pressure, J.J Redick, J.J. Barea, Kendrick Perkins, and the always underwhelming Andris Biedrins will have to be brought in to fill out the 3PT/REB/BLK categories. Totally unbiased analysts forsee a winning season for Funk as they appear balanced throughout.

Chunky Monkeys (6-13)
After a surprising Finals run in 2009, the Monkeys collapsed last season. Evan is our last remaining small ball coach and while he's got the perfect PG and C for that style (Chris Paul and Andrea Bargnani), he's lacking quality players everywhere else. If Jrue Holiday emerges as a fantasy star, that would help the Monkeys quite a bit. Jeff Teague is around too but he's not going to be a great AST guy. There are a bunch of shooting swingmen on board, such as James Harden, Chase Budinger, Trevor Ariza, and CJ Miles. It's about time for Harden to break out and if starting SG DeMar DeRozan can do the same, that would help Evan's fortunes quite a bit. In order for small ball to work, the Monkeys need to win PTS, AST, 3PT, FT%, and STL. We're not sure how they're going to outscore people so that'll leave them at least one category short. In a tough division, the Monkeys will need to really scramble to get competitive.

NJ All-Stars (5-14)
The previously named Nande ReBuRonSAN was 13-5 just two seasons ago. However, they slipped badly last year and ownership decided to pack it in and go home. A hero emerged to save the team and moved them to the Jersey Shore. Old leadership did leave one gift for this team however: Lebron James. Electing to go first in the dispersal, Eddie retained the rights to James and then constructed a very promising team alongside him. Kyle Lowry is officially a fantasy stud, and he's going to team with LBJ, Jameer Nelson, and Jose Calderon to throw up a lot of AST. Luis Scola and Luol Deng are quietly efficient, DeAndre Jordan is going to be a monster, and Ryan Anderson is all sorts of fantasy delightful. Paul George and James Johnson might not find a role immediately, they are both upside picks. We see a lot of interesting strengths on this team, and while Lebron won't be getting much PTS help, the NJ All-Stars are in great position to drag themselves out of the cellar. And perhaps much higher.

Mock Drafting the Owners

2011-12-21T11:02:00.000-08:00

What would happen in a hypothetical basketball game between our fantasy league owners? I mean, besides old age injuries and air balls? Well, having had the honor of playing non-fantasy basketball with most of the people in this league, I thought I'd weigh in on what might happen in a Russell versus Chamberlain Conference owners matchup.

Actually, we don't even have to play the game, here's the result: The Chamberlain Conference would annihilate the Russell Conference. In fact, just the Transformer division alone would annihilate the rest of the league. They boast three of the top four players and would wreck every other division. So instead, I better concentrate on a mock basketball draft based around some real mock stats -- per 36 minutes, naturally.

Note: Before anyone gets all huffy about my over/under-evaluation of their game, keep in mind that I am ranking based on guesstimation. And if your stats are too low, I challenge you to come play me and if I lose -- well, when I lose -- then we'll adjust it.

1. Steve (2005 All Star Team)
His nickname in college was "Kobe." I don't care if it was self appointed; people respected it because Steve can do everything on offense. Doesn't miss on spot up shots, makes sweeping drives to the basket, has up and under moves that I don't understand, can post up, and throws in the occasional bomb from distance. He also cleans the boards to lead his own fast break. Just give him the ball already.
Position: SF
Fantasy Highlights: 24.3 PTS, 7.6 REB, 3.9 AST, 1.1 3PT, 45.9 FG%
NBA Player: Paul Pierce, haha, just kidding. Carmelo Anthony

2. Eric-A (Human Amoebas)
If you don't know, Eric-A's jumper is literally the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. If I had children I would send them to Eric-A camp so they could learn how to shoot properly. He's got the long range, the stop and pop, the head fake to get you off balance and then the nasty rainbow arc over my arms. I mean, your arms. Swish swish swish. I have nightmares about his jumper. Eric-A is also possibly an offensive savant and does double duty as player/coach. He also gives entertaining post-game interviews.
Position: SG/PG
Fantasy Highlights: 27.3 PTS, 3.7 AST, 2.3 3PT, 47.3 FG%
NBA Player: Stephon Curry with a dash of Monta Ellis

3. Roger (Buffy)
I have only actually played basketball with Roger once, but I used to get AIMs from him all the time with content like "I hit seven threes in one game today" and "Baron Davis winked hello at me." Our tallest owner, Roger's 6'2-ish, goes to the gym daily to ball, and plays at the UCLA courts where I once saw George Zidek practicing. That is quality competition my friends. He is still in tip top shape, a rarity at our advancing age.
Position: SF/SG
Fantasy Highlights: 21.3 PTS, 5.2 REB, 3.1 3PT, 43.4 FG%
NBA Player: A long range focused Dirk Nowitzki

4. Oliver (Half Man Half ImAsian)
Again, I've only played with Oliver once, last summer, and it was dark, lit only by the glare of our cars' headlights. Even in those conditions I was scared of him just by reputation. My ankles already trembled because I've heard tales of his speed. Luckily I gave up playing defense years ago. Oliver is hands down the fastest guy in SlamNation, and definitely the most athletic. His only weakness: cigarettes. But as a fellow smoker, I say that cigarettes don't impact athletic ability and I'll stand by that irrefutable fact. I play just fine huffing and puffing. I think Oliver only smokes to give other people a chance to retain some self-esteem.
Position: SG
Fantasy Highlights: 18.3 PPG, 2.1 AST, 2.6 STL, 1.3 3PT, 44.8 FG%
NBA Player: John Wall

5. Trieu (Sour Snails)
Having grown up playing basketball with Trieu, I can attest to his game based on lots of experience getting my ass handed to me. Offensively he's the ideal guard because he shoots, drives, and passes equally well. His spot up three from the top of the key or the corner is deadly. For a guard, I can't figure out how Trieu scores in the paint so much. It's all scoops and layups and great finishes. On defense, he has quick hands that will steal the ball from you. See? There it goes.
Position: PG/SG
Fantasy Highlights: 16.7 PTS, 6.4 AST, 1.7 STL, 1.8 3PT, 46.7 FG%
NBA Player: Tony Parker + Manu Ginobili

6. Brian (Squirtle Squad)
Just like his fantasy teams, Brian has the type of well rounded game that allows him to be a do everything type player. Scouts rave about his high basketball IQ, his combination inside-outside game, and his ability to finish left or right. Brian is a leader of men, and of cheerleaders. Note: In the recent past, Brian won three in a row and four out of five fantasy football championships in the Michigan boys' 16-team keeper league. I don't even know how that is possible.
Position: SF/SG
Fantasy Highlights: 13.3 PTS, 5.2 REB, 4.3 AST, 0.7 3PT, 48.3 FG%
NBA Player: Joe Johnson

7. Jon (Funk Coalition)
Having Reggie Miller's build, Jon has none of Reggie's shooting ability and actually has quite the contentious relationship with the front rim. His one offensive skill, passing, leads to plenty of assists but also an equal number of turnovers. Jon is also quick to lay the blame on the recipient of his passes. "It's never the passer's fault!" On defense he can block shots, all of your shots.
Position: SF/PG
Fantasy Highlights: 6.3 PTS, 8.3 AST, 2.4 BLK, 4.1 TO, 39.3 FG%
NBA Player: An Andrei Kirilenko who only passes

8. Alvin (MoRRie's Pogiboys)
Alvin is the crafty leader of the famed Jedi Knights basketball club in Michigan, as he has been co-captaining the squad for years. He's a slick lefty who can slash and dish and gets his hand on a lot of balls on defense. Alvin's jumper is a bit hot and cold but he has enough range to laser in a few threes. His solid dribble skills allow him to penetrate and disrupt the defense. Hates to lose, hates unused timeouts.
Position: SG/PG
Fantasy Highlights: 12.4 PTS, 4.8 AST, 1.3 STL, 0.6 3PT, 41.8 FG%
NBA Player: Devin Harris

9. Jimmy (Fob Stars)
Long arms like Kevin McHale, huge hands like Chris Webber, ugly shot like Shawn Marion. I've seen Jimmy airball from six inches away. Then again I've also had him do a breakaway reverse dunk on my head. Sure it was on an eight foot rim but it was still pretty embarrassing. Combining natural athleticism and his octopus arms, Jimmy can rebound, strip the ball with ease, and then fumble it out of bounds after he steals it. I try not to pass Jimmy the ball on the low block because it just makes us both look bad.
Position: PF
Fantasy Highlights: 4.3 PTS, 9.2 REB, 1.4 STL, 1.5 BLK, 2.2 TO, 33.7 FG%
NBA Player: Joakim Noah

10. Josh (So Buckets)
Having never even set eyes on Josh, I can't judge based on his physique or athleticism, all I can say is that he's got a trigger fast email reply rate that I wholeheartedly applaud. Some of you might do well to pick up that skill by the way. Ahem. From his description, Josh is a quick guard with court vision and a penchant for driving the lane. While he can heave in a three once in awhile, his game is all about setting other people up. Fun fact: Josh grew up playing at the Boys & Girls Club where Lebron made The Decision.
Position: PG
Fantasy Highlights: 6.3 PTS, 6.3 AST, 0.6 3PT, 43.3 FG%
NBA Player: Rajon Rondo-lite (He has to be "lite" because otherwise Josh would be the best point guard in the NBA.)

11. Eric-L (Fat Jubas)
If this were a Magic the Gathering draft, I would undoubtedly take Eric-L number one. However, in basketball I have no first hand experience of his skills. Scouting reports tell me that Eric-L loves to attack the hoop, has a shaky jumper, and is a ball hawk. He wants to share that "his NBA Live simulacrum won the MVP." I wanted to draft him high for that fact alone. Since Evan and Eric-L are both Stanford boys, we may have them work up some sabermetric type stuff for us after our big intra-conference face off.
Position: PG
Fantasy Highlights: 9.3 PTS, 3.2 AST, 2.1 STL, 43.9 FG%
NBA Player: Ty Lawson

12. Jedi Knights (4-15)
There is only one man I truly fear on this list: Chris. When he plays defense on you, it's over. Chris is a rock. He's got crazy muscles, he never relents, he's always in your face. I don't like it. It's just a recipe for never scoring or getting to do anything on the court. On offense, he has developed a post-up fallaway that he used to hit the game winner in the deciding Game 7 of last year's Midnight Semi-Classic. I've also witnessed him chucking in a barrage of threes occasionally. But again, that defense. I always try to make sure Chris guards someone else; I bruise so easy you see.
Position: SF/PF
Fantasy Highlights: 8.6 PTS, 5.9 REB, 1.0 3PT, 44.9 FG%
NBA Player: A Bizzaro Ron Artest because Chris is the most sane person I know. "Betta Global Chaos" as it were.

13. Thien (Slam N Dragon)
Thien is a shooter. He bombs bombs bombs away. When's he on, it's lights out. Having played with him and his brothers often, I know that he's always ready to launch at a moment's notice. Shooters space the floor and win championships. He is also a sneaky offensive rebounder despite hanging out near the three point line. I'm not sure how he just appears in the paint sometimes. Teleportation?
Position: SG
Fantasy Highlights: 11.2 PTS, 4.5 REB, 2.8 3PT, 43.4 FG%
NBA Player: Anthony Morrow

14. Jose (100 Acre Wood Heffalumps)
It's been said that we all pattern our games after someone. A NBA hero, possibly an icon, a player that has influenced us over the years. Apparently J's favorite player is the immortal Brian Grant. I know that J does not have dreads, is not 6'9", 254 lbs, but he's very close. Give or take a few feet. Preferring to do the dirty work, J fights for every inch and has an effort driven game. His main offensive weapon consists of sliding out to hit the baseline jumper. Jose also serves as the drummer for No Way Jose, him and Eric-A's band which will be performing during our halftime extravaganza.
Position: PF
Fantasy Highlights: 5.8 PTS, 6.8 REB, 1.2 STL, 42.3 FG%
NBA Player: Anderson Varejao

15. Eddie (NJ All-Stars)

Eddie was the man in the middle...for his middle school team. Back then, scouts were intrigued by his tremendous upside and long wingspan but when he never grew another inch, they lost interest. Disheartened by the harsh dictates of genetics, Eddie gave up playing basketball in the eighth grade. Now the only game for him is high level competitive ultimate frisbee. Even rusty from a ten year layoff, I suspect he could beat his cousin, Evan, in a little one-on-one. We'll schedule this for the undercard.

Position: C
Fantasy Highlights: Do they keep stats for ultimate?
NBA Player: Earl Boykins as a big man

16. Evan (Chunky Monkeys)
Having not seen Evan's game in person since middle school, I can only judge his skills based on his play twenty years ago. Back then he was a fresh faced young'un with a quick jumper and a fear of sunshine -- UV rays are dangerous! I can only assume age has extended his range and given him a tan. I've been told that Evan makes sneaky contributions in steals and blocks. All I know is that he repeatedly steals my fantasy championships and blocks my way to ultimate glory every year. So I'm drafting him last. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Position: SG
Fantasy Highlights: 10.3 PTS, 1.2 3PT, 1.3 STL, 0.8 BLK, 45.7 FG%
NBA Player: James Harden, but with less melatonin and facial hair

Splitting the teams up snake style we get this:

Team 1: Steve, Oliver, Trieu, Alvin, Jimmy, Chris, Thien, Evan
Team A: Eric-A, Roger, Brian, Jon, Josh, Eric-L, Jose, Eddie

Who do you think would win? When should we find out?!

Power Moves

2011-12-20T19:03:00.000-08:00

In trade talks conducted entirely in Mandarin right before the draft, Funk Coalition and Fob Stars debated the benefits of swapping PF/Cs. Unhappy with Chris Bosh's effort last season as the weak appendage of the Heat's Big Three, Fob Stars' GM Jimmy decided he had to dump his former first round pick at any cost. Luckily, Funk's GM Jon was looking to bolster his inside scoring, and despite loving Joakim Noah's contributions, he felt this was a necessary move to make for his championship run.

Bosh averaged 18.7 PTS, 8.3 REB, 0.8 STL and good percentages in 77 games last season. He will be joining Al Jefferson alongside Funk's frontline. Noah missed quite a few games but had a breakout year as he put up 11.7 PTS, 10.4 REB, 1.5 BLK, and 1.0 STL in 48 games. He will team with Emeka Okafor to seal the REB and BLK categories for Fob Stars, as the two will also be paired with new franchise cornerstone, Zach Randolph. Randolph a franchise player and team captain? It certainly looks like it!

The final trade worked out to be Funk Coaltion's two first round picks and Noah for Fob Stars' second round pick and Chris Bosh. Funk's extra first rounder was acquired in last year's Deron Williams' deal. After the 2012 picks were sorted out, the final trade ended up looking like this: Bosh and Ed Davis for Noah, Nick Young, and Chris Kaman. Time will tell if the trade works out for both sides, or if one of them got completely swindled. Here's hoping this leads to the Fob Stars demise.

New Ownership

2011-12-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

There comes a day when some men decide to leave their fantasy team behind. After two years of ownership, Mikey and Pierre decided to take a bow, leaving behind such players as Lebron James, Pau Gasol, and Andre Iguodala to become fantasy orphans. Luckily we scoured far and wide to find two great owners:

Eddie (NJ All-Stars) is Evan's cousin and a somewhat recent college graduate. That means he has his whole future ahead of him. Not that I'm jealous or anything. Hailing from New Jersey, he's probably super sad the Nets are leaving for Brooklyn. Then again, what are the chances he's a Nets fan? Is anyone a Nets fan? Mikhail Prokhorov?
Josh (So Buckets) played fantasy football with me this past season, and he's been playing fantasy for decades from what I can see. His favorite NFL team is the Detroit Lions even though he's from Connecticut. Clearly he's a glutton for punishment like the rest of you Michiganders, so he should fit right in.

Dispersal Draft Rules & Results
During the past few days Eddie and Josh took part in a dispersal which resulted in the following two teams made up of Mikey and Pierre's old squads and any free agent non-keepers they wanted -- excluding rookies. Due to the power of Lebron James, we heavily weighted the non-LBJ team to have more depth to make up for not having a Grade A franchise player on the roster.

Now all sixteen teams are ready to go and we can the real draft started! Get'er done.

2012 Rules Updates

2011-12-15T00:32:00.000-08:00

1. Waiver wire order post-draft: Waiver wire starts the season as #16-1, or reverse draft order. Setting is still "Move to Last After Claim, Never Reset Order."

2. Draft order for yearly draft: First two rounds are #1-16 and then snake thereafter. #1-16, 1-16, 16-1, 1-16, etc.

3. Scheduling: ~~The regular season is whatever ESPN throws up, so it's not weighted by how well teams did last year.~~ [Edit:] Nevermind, it is weighted as Alvin got it all set up. The regular season is twelve weeks, playoffs start in WK13.

4. Weekly Max Games: Raising max games per week because of compressed NBA schedule, from 22 last year to 26 this year for the soft cap. I'm gauging for 4 games per starter slot, versus a usual season's 3.5 average.

5. Lineup changes: Changing to "Daily - Lock Individually at Scheduled Gametime."

Pre-Draft Maneuvering

2011-12-15T00:28:00.000-08:00

A few pre-draft trades occured, as is a few deeper teams shifted extra potential keepers for draft picks.

Squirtle Squad move Ty Lawson to the Human Amoebas for a 2013 RD1 pick.
Squirtles also send Ricky Rubio to the 2005 All Stars for a 2013 RD2 pick.
Sour Snails receive Raymond Felton and a 2012 RD6 in exchange for RD4 picks in 2012 and 2013.

The Internets are ablaze with talk that Ty Lawson will be a huge sleeper, and it seems like he could be. What intrigues us is that Squirtle Squad owner Brian had the foresight to grab Rubio near the end of last season, and then flipped him for a future pick. Savvy!

2012 Draft Positions

2011-12-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

2012 DRAFT ORDER

Jedi Knights (4-15)
Nande? ReBuRonSAN (5-14)
MoRRie's Pogiboys (5-14)
Fob Stars (6-13)
Chunky Monkeys (6-13)
Bayside Bombardiers (8-11)
2005 NBA All-Star Game (9-10)
Squirtle Squad (11-8) *Missed playoffs despite winning record
Funk Coalition (9-10)
Slam'N Dragon (11-8)
Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)
LA Buffy (13-6)
Fat Jubas (15-4)
100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4)
Sour Snails (14-5) *Runner-up
Human Amoebas (9-10) *Champion

Toilet Bowl winner: Bayside Bombardiers
Toilet Bowl runner-up: Fob Stars

NOTES and TIDBITS

The only team to have two picks in the top five are the Chunky Monkeys, who selected second overall in 2010 and will select fifth overall in 2012.
Four teams, the Jedi Knights, Fobstars, Funk Coalition, and Slam'N Dragon have never selected outside of the top ten in three drafts.
For ReBuRonSAN, this will be their first chance to select in the top picks (#2 this year), after having the 15th and 14th selections in previous years.
Half Man Half ImAsian and Buffy have both duplicated their draft spots, #11 for Oliver in 2011-2 and #12 for Roger in 2010 and 2012.
By going worst to first, the Human Amoebas dropped back fifteen draft spots in consecutive seasons, which is a record that will never be surpassed, only equaled
Chunky Monkeys have had the biggest draft position swings, going from #2 to #15 to #5. Note the late pick in 2011 was mainly due to reaching the Finals with an upset focused team.
Our most successful teams, Sour Snails and 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps took their #1 and #7 overall picks in our inaugural year and haven't picked below #12 since -- Trieu hasn't not made the Finals yet. That means they've maintained a standard of excellence as represented by all their late draft positions.
Squirtle Squad and 2005 NBA All-Star Game represent teams that picked often in the upper end of the draft but were waylaid by one bad year each (where they got the #13 pick). They represent our middle class.
Teams with the lowest total draft positions (each year's draft position then that total divided by three): Jedi Knights (13), Fob Stars (14), MoRRie's Pogiboys (19), Slam'N Dragon (21), Chunky Monkeys (22).
Teams with the highest total draft positions: Fat Jubas (38), 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (33), Sour Snails (32), LA Buffy (31), Nande ReBuRonSAN (31).

2011 Championship: Bed of Roses

2011-04-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

The biggest upset of the century has occurred! A wild card team has toppled the mighty Sour Snails, and mostly in uncontested fashion. The Amoebas handily took PTS, REB, STL, and FG%, and secured 3PT and BLK by enough to insure a victory by mid day Sunday. The parade route was already getting lined up and all of Michigan was gearing up for a celebration. Rumors had it that Owner/GM/Coach Eric-A fainted for a few moments as he realized that the victory was imminent. And it's been revealed by sources close to Eric that he's never won a fantasy championship in thirteen years of play, since 1998, so this is even more special of an accomplishment!

As for the dethroned defending champs, the Sour Snails were fighting injuries all post-season and their wagon fell entirely apart by the end. With basically all of their top guys injured or straight out missing games -- Kevin Love, Stephen Jackson, Danilo Gallinari, Stephen Curry, and eventually Josh Smith -- Trieu put up a valiant fight but really didn't have the horses for this matchup. This was like Lakers - Pistons in the 1980's when a few key injuries determined the winner. Although maybe a full roster wouldn't have helped the Snails against the power of an one celled organism.

Looking a little closer at the performance, we have to give the MVP to point guard Derrick Rose, who was simply outstanding all season long, and especially these last few weeks. He put up 25.0 PTS, 5.0 AST, 1.5 3PT, and stellar percentages for championship week. His young backcourt mate, Eric Gordon, chipped in ten steals even as his shooting was a bit off. The other key to winning the crucial steals battle was big men Andray Blatche and Paul Millsap combining for fourteen steals this week. Fourteen! Looking over the stat sheet, this was a huge team effort as everyone player contributed a steal, seven recorded at least a block, and four players were in double digit assists.

The Amoebas were 3-15 in 2010 and were being compared to door mats coming into the season. There was room for lots of growth but nobody expected the season they eventually had. After stumbling out of the gate with three straight losses, Eric-A's team managed a five game winning streak mid-season to show signs of righting the ship. However, another three game losing streak had them mainly treading water and they slipped into the playoffs with only nine wins (against ten losses). The Amoebas were first or close to first in PTS, 3PT, and STL, but were below average in most of the other areas. They were also dead last in TO for the season. Proving that activity isn't always the key to success, GM Eric-A used only six roster moves all season long.

However, they had a solid eight man rotation all season long, with Rose, Ellis, Millsap, Cousins, Gordon, Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, and Channing Frye doing most of the in-season damage. Ty Lawson and George Hill came in off the bench for a key games (as did Ersan Ilyasova and Anthony Morrow) and made the most of their minutes. Rose averaged 25.1 PTS, 7.8 AST, 4.1 REB, 1.6 3PT, and 1.1 STL for the season. Monta Ellis played one more game than Rose and averaged 24.1 PTS, 5.6 AST, 1.7 3PT, and 2.1 STL. Shooting guard Eric Gordon only played in a little more than half the games but he added additional scoring and outside shooting.

The real post-season star was Andray Blatche, who notched 23.9 PTS, 11.6 REB, 2.4 STL and almost a block per game over his last month of games. Add in similar numbers by Millsap and rookie DeMarcus Cousins (around 15 PTS, 8 REB, 2.5 AST, 1 STL/BLK for both) and this quickly became the team to beat. Their post-season run included victories over an eleven win team, a fifteen win team, and finally a fourteen win team.

Going forward, we have to say that the Amoebas are set up for a fierce title defense. As the youngest team in the league, they have definitely won a championship ahead of schedule and have a beautiful core to continue their winning ways. Congrats to Eric-A and the Amoebas for a fantastic finish to an exciting season!

2011 Toilet Bowl: Bombs Away

2011-04-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

We can't quite figure out how Pierre does it, but despite making no moves all season, probably never really looking at his team, and playing five games less than his opponent during the final week, his Bayside Bombardiers are the Toilet Bowl winers! Sweeping through the Toilet Bowl while barely breaking a sweat, Pierre's team was led by Pau Gasol, who had four games of 17.8 PTS, 7.3 REB, and not much else. Luis Scola and Samuel Dalembert both averaged double doubles during Toilet Bowl week, and Jameer Nelson and Jamal Crawford helped manage the attack with their outside shooting and passing. The real key to victory may have been little Kyle Lowry, who averaged 11.5 PTS, 7.5 AST, and 2.0 3PT over his final few games to key the Toilet Bowl win.

Oh I guess Pierre did make a few adjustments as David West was taken out of the lineup. Still, Pierre played only seven guys for the week, as Leandro Barbosa missed all his games (while a healthy Mo Williams sat on the bench), and Luis Scola and Kyle Lowry were both banged up too. Maybe Luol Deng in for Charlie Villanueva would have been the right move but we can't question Coach Pierre as he has piloted his team to victory. Missing the post-season by just one win this year, Bayside should return to their winning ways with a top pick to being the next season. In 2010 they were the Voltron division winners and could easily compete for that title again in 2012.

The Fob Stars did secure a second overall pick but you'd think his team filled with luminaries such as Chris Bosh, Zach Randolph, and DJ Augustin could have beat out Bayside. Heck Shawn Marion averaged 17.3 PTS and 10.3 REB the whole week! Instead Jimmy will have to settle for being a runner up this year and get his scouting department on the job. Coming off a 4-13-1 season in 2010, this year's success ain't too bad but it sure would have been nice to secure a very winneable first selection. Actually they could have lost by a lot more too, as they barely won 3PT and PTS as it was, despite playing almost 25% more games than Pierre's team. I guess Bayside was just destined to win the Toilet Bowl this year!

Championship Preview: The Wizarding Hour

2011-04-04T15:40:00.000-07:00

#3 Human Amoebas (9-10) vs #3 Sour Snails (14-5)
Led by Derrick Rose, the Human Amoebas are streaking toward history. Already taking down two top seeds on the way to this championship round, Eric-A's young team may be a winner one year ahead of schedule. The fans in Amoeba-ville are swooning with pride and dizzy with the sudden heights they've attained. Although they are facing off against the defending champs, the argument could be made that this underdog is the favorite for the upcoming week.

Rose, Monta Ellis, and Eric Gordon anchor a superb backcourt that provides PTS, AST, 3PT, and STL in bunches. They'll need all three to be in top form in order to topple the small ball oriented Sour Snails. Given the apparent lack of size on the Snails' roster, you'd think they'd get wiped out on the boards but they are actually very competitive there with Josh Smith, Kevin Love, and secret weapon Chuck Hayes (who's been averaging double digit rebounds over the past two weeks). To counter that, Eric-A will have Paul Millsap, DeMarcus Cousins, and the astonishing Andray Blatche, who has been simply oustanding since returning from injury last Friday. In three games, Blatche is averaging 25.0 PTS, 14.7 REB, and 2.3 STL. What is going on in Washington these days?

I mean, on the Snails side of things, Wizards' rookie guard Jordan Crawford is throwing up triple doubles and coming off a huge week of 27.0 PTS, 5.8 REB, 5.0 AST, 2.3 3PT, and 1.5 STL. Trieu had better hope that the other Wizards rookie guard, the one named Wall, sits on the pine for a little while longer so Crawford gets his minutes. The Snails desperately need him to get play because this young man has been the sole Snail to average over 20+ PPG recently and the Sour ones need some serious firepower to compete against the Amoebas. Crawford's backcourt mates, Stephen Curry and Stephen Jackson both need to have huge weeks. Jackson is nursing an injury -- as is Kevin Love -- but he'll hopefully return to make this Finals matchup a battle that's decided on the court and not on the basis of who's hurt.

Other player matchups include Ty Lawson and George Hill running guard duty for Eric-A's team, while Channing Frye bombs from outside the arc. Neither of these teams have much at the small forward positon, as it's Anthony Morrow for the Amoebas and Paul George for the Snails. Trieu will also be trotting out Darren Collison, Tracy McGrady, Rip Hamilton, and Danilo Gallinari.

Last year's Finals had a similar story: two mainly small ball teams facing off against each other. Exactly twelve months ago, Evan's Chunky Monkeys clawed their way past top seeds and into the last round, despite a middling regular season record. The difference though was that they were mostly out of gas by the end of the playoffs. The 2011 Human Amoebas look like they could go another few rounds on Rose power alone. Of course, it's hard not to look at these matchups and wonder about the impact Lebron James might have made on the festivities. If the Snails lose, will LBJ have been the difference? Or will they repeat even after dealing the number overall pick? This is a matchup for the ages with intrigue and plot points galore, it's more than worthy of our second Slam Nation Finals!

Everyone set your DVRs for the Wizards games!

And in the Toilet Bowl, it's Fob Stars (6-13) versus Bayside Bombardiers (8-11). Both owners were on vacation last weekend and yet somehow still managed to win. I hate fantasy.

Playoffs: Conference Finals (and Toilet Bowl)

2011-03-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

As predicted, the first round of the playoffs was full of upsets. The only higher seed to advance to the next round was the number one ranked team in the Russell Conference, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps. Slam N Dragon, Fat Jubas, and LA Buffy all got toppled by "lesser" teams. The 5-3-1 loss by Fat Jubas was especially difficult as they had a stellar regular season and were seen as the early favorites. The margin of victory would have been even greater possibly, as the Jubas only managed to squeak out a win in REB and PTS by one each. Stunningly, Jubas and Oliver's Half Man Half ImAsian tied in FT%. Is that crazy or what? Let's take a quick look at the semi-final matchups.

Russell Conference
#1 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4) vs #3 Human Amoebas (9-10)
After dispatching Slam N Dragon with relative ease, Eric-A's Amoebas face off against a much tougher opponent this time out. Prior to last week, Coach Jose of Heffalumps had said that he was afraid of the surging Funk Coalition and Human Amoebas. Now he'll be facing them back to back. With Kobe Bryant literally dragging his team long, Jose's team will really have to step up their game to compete against Eric-A's backcourt combination of Derrick Rose, Monta Ellis, and Eric Gordon. It looks like this matchup could come down to the big men down low, and which team can get a role player or two to step up. The Amoebas are pretty much locks to win 3PT and AST, and are capable in their other categories. If we're looking at a future huge upset, this could be the matchup that is all sorts of wrong for the highest seed left in the playoffs. Can Kobe defend himself against the onslaught of the Amoebas' young studs? We think it'll come down to a frontcourt battle to determine the victor.

Chamberlain Conference
#3 Sour Snails (14-5) vs #4 Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)
Despite a horrid tail end of the regular season, Oliver's Half Men picked up their game at just the right moment. JaVale McGee is cleaning up the boards to the tune of 15.3 REB per game and adding 18.5 PTS and 3.0 BLK to boot. He could individually cancel out the Snails' Kevin Love -- well especially since Love is injured. All the big men categories are probably going to swing Half Man Half ImAsian's way if Love remains out so it'll be interesting to see if Kevin Durant can put up enough points to cancel out Trieu's crew of bombers. With Steph Curry leading the way, the Sour Snails will need to keep their hands up on defense and swipe a lot of balls to win what will be a very close semi-finals matchup. Can Trieu advance to the Finals and get a chance to defend his crown? We're thinking he can, but Oliver might have something else to say about that. This is going to be quite a week for both teams.

TOILET BOWL
Russell Conference
#5 Bayside Bombardiers (8-11) vs #6 Chunky Monkeys (6-13)
No big surprises here, as both higher ranked teams took care of business and defeated Nande ReBuRonSAN and MoRRie's Pogiboys, respectively. It just goes to show you that having random capital letters in your team name is no path to success. Both Pierre and Evan's teams could use an infusion of young talent to make them playoff contenders next year. I mean, for the Monkeys, power forward JJ Hickson was their highest scoring player last week. That's not good. Or "no bueno" as the Spanish say. For the Bombardiers, Pau Gasol is a man on fire, averaging 24.5 PTS, 12.0 REB, and 2.0 BLK last week. We're predicting an easy win for the Bombardiers -- who made it through the entire season not making one move.

Chamberlain Conference
#5 Squirtle Squad (11-8) vs #7 Fob Stars (6-13)
The Fobby Ones took out Steve's 2005 All Star Team behind Zach Randolph and Chris Bosh's fine weeks. The Squirtles barely squeaked by Jedi Knights, winning off a H2H tie breaker. If Jimmy can pull off another upset, their season will be half way redeemed with a top two pick. But he'll have to get by Quake Griffin (25.7 PTS, 13.0 REB, 1.3 STL over his last three) and the rest of the Squirtle Squad first.

Playoff Preview RD1

2011-03-22T00:31:00.000-07:00

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Fat Jubas (15-4) vs #4 Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)
After starting off 9-1, the Fat Jubas have hardly slowed down and are 6-2 during the past two months. The thing is, Half Man Half ImAsian were undefeated through their first eight weeks and established themselves as contenders immediately. Of course, with five losses in their last six weeks, Oliver's team might be fading at just the wrong time. Kevin Durant and LaMarcus Aldridge are going to have to carry this team and get help from more than just JaVale McGee (12.1 PTS, 9.0 REB, 4 BLK over last seven games) to take out Jubas' super vet trio of Steve Nash, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett.

#2 LA Buffy (13-6) vs #3 Sour Snails (14-5)
After fending off three other teams in the very competitive Transformers division, Buffy has secured home court advantage for this round despite having lost one more game than defending champion Sour Snails. There's a bit of concern here as Roger's team has only one win over the past month while Trieu has been virtually undefeated since the calendar flipped (and post-Lebron James), winning ten of their last eleven. Their only loss was versus division winner Fat Jubas, in the last week of the regular season.

Buffy has a strong inside game but nobody is fully stepping up to the plate, unless late season find Toney Douglas (15.8 PTS, 6.8 AST, 3.4 3PT over last nine games) is going to spearhead an upset. The Snails will rely on their small ball plus Kevin Love formula to run and gun on step one of their title defense.

Russell Conference
#1 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4) vs #4 Funk Coalition (9-10)
The surging Funk Coalition won five of their last six games to squeak into the playoffs. However, division leader 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps have won seven of their last eight matchups. The kicker though, was that their only loss was to the resurgent Funk in WK18. We could be primed for a big upset here, or just business as usual as the Heffalumps take their game up to post-season heights.

Kobe Bryant is going to do his damnest to make sure that the Heffalumps don't lose, but a slumping Rajon Rondo needs to step up his game as the AST and STL categories could be crucial this week. As for the Funk, they are peaking right now and even with Tyreke Evans out, this team is putting up huge numbers across the board, especially free agent find Tyler Hansbrough (22.4 PTS, 7.8 REB, 1.6 STL over last seven games).

#2 Slam N Dragon (11-8) vs #3 Human Amoebas (9-10)
Last year's winner of the Toilet Bowl, Slam N Dragons, are entering the playoffs as a division winner but are definitely stumbling over the past few weeks as they've lost four of their last five. Eric-A's Amoebas have had an up and down season with five straight wins followed by three losses and then a .500 record over the last month of the regular season.

The root cause of Thien's rough back half of the season has been that fact that nobody has really been helping take the pressure off Dwayne Wade. A healthy John Wall has been crucial (19.6 PTS, 7.0 AST, 6.7 REB, 2.3 STL) but nobody else is averaging more than fourteen points a game over the past two weeks. Andrew Bynum being out a game or two won't help matters either. Led to Derrick Rose and Monta Ellis, the Amoebas also have Eric Gordon back in the lineup and could easily romp ther way to an upset if Paul Millsap and DeMarcus Cousins step up a little.

Playoff and Toilet Bowl Seedings

2011-03-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

PLAYOFFS
*= division winner
Chamberlain Conference
#1- Fat Jubas (15-4)*
#2- LA Buffy (13-6)*
#3- Sour Snails (14-5)
#4- Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)

Russell Conference
#1- 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4)*
#2- Slam N Dragon (11-8)*
#3- Human Amoebas (9-10)
#4- Funk Coalition (9-10)

TOILET BOWL
Chamberlain Conference
#5- Squirtle Squad (11-8)
#6- 2005 NBA All Star Team (9-10)
#7- Fob Stars (6-13)
#8- Jedi Knights (4-15)

Russell Conference
#5- Bayside Bombardiers (8-11)
#6- Chunky Monkeys (6-13)
#7- Morrie's Pogiboys (5-14)
#8- Nande Reburonsan (5-14)

Tie Breakers
#1: Human Amoebas defeated Funk Coalition, WK16
#2: Morrie's Pogiboys and Nande Reburonsan had even H2H, even conference records, and was tie broken by Most Categories Won (Season)

Playoffs

Toilet Bowl

Final Standings 2011

2011-03-21T12:31:00.000-07:00

Plus year end rosters.

Final Rosters 2011

2011-03-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

Shake Up

2011-02-26T04:53:00.000-08:00

Even as the NBA shocks us with one blockbuster after another, SlamNation is itself heading toward the tail end of the season. With just four weeks of regular season action left -- including this week -- Funk Coalition gets in the action again by getting involved in another blockbuster. Having moved franchise point guard Deron Williams off the roster about a month ago, GM Jon saw the need for a bit more assists. Recent acquisition Tyreke Evans had been ailing and it was the three headed "monster" of Tony Parker, Rodney Stuckey, and Lou Williams leading the Funk. Tied with Bayside Bombardiers for their first ever playoff berth, team Funkalicious needed to make another mega move.

Dangling LaMarcus Aldridge, Jon fished around for a new franchise caliber lead man. Aldridge has arguably been the hottest player of 2011, with averages of 28.0 PTS, 9.5 REB, 1.8 STL, 1.5 BLK and outstanding percentages from both the field and the line over the past few weeks. He has clearly made the leap and taken control of a Portland franchise in turmoil. With such a juicy trade chip, Jon looked into every prime time fantasy PG option.

For Half Man Half ImAsian, this season has been about more continued success. Standing at 11-4 and fighting for homecourt advantage through the playoffs, Oliver's team is adding more frontcourt strength in order to battle division leader Buffy's plethora of big men. With Anderson Varejao done for the season, Half Man Half ImAsian was lacking another big man to pair with Andrew Bogut. It's true Amir Johnson and JaVale McGee exude promise but they are still getting started in their careers. With boldness and execution worthy of Mikhail Prokhorov, Oliver swung for the fences and agreed to an exchange of Russell Westbrook for LaMarcus Aldridge and hometown favorite, combo guard Rodney Stuckey.

This move transforms both franchises immediately. Kevin Durant says good bye to his Thunder teammate and will need to find the emotional fortitude to carry on. Having Stuckey around will help in the PTS department but he isn't in the same league as a distributor. Westbrook was averaging 22.1 PTS, 8.5 AST, 4.9 REB, and 1.8 STL this season while Stuckey was at 15.1 PTS, 4.4 AST, and 1.1 STL. Neither are great shooters or possess much three point range. While Funk Coalition will miss Aldridge's 22.4 PTS, 9.0 REB, 1.2 BLK/STL, and 50.0 FG%, they wanted to be able to fight for the AST category each week.

Will this be the last major SlamNation deal before our deadline closes? Let's hope not, as I know more moves are in the making as teams jostle for playoff positioning and the Toilet Bowl. More trades guys!

I'm Outta Here

2011-02-10T16:36:00.000-08:00

In solidarity with today's surprise announcement that Jerry Sloan will be stepping down as coach of the Utah Jazz after 23 seasons and 1,127 wins, his protege, the coach of the Funk Coalition will also step down after after two seasons and ten wins. We would name the Funk's coach but it appears nobody in the organization knows what his/her name was. Long time Funker, point guard Tony Parker, said, "Attendez que nous avions un entraîneur-chef? Quand? Je m'ennuie de toi Eva!" Translated to the King's English, it means: "Wait we had a head coach? When? I miss you Eva!"

On a one game winning streak, the new Funk Coalition is charging up the charts and only a game out of the playoffs. Carmelo Anthony and Tyreke Evans have been stellar but it's been the emotional return of Kendrick Perkins (averaging 7.0 PTS, 10.7 REB, 2.0 BLK) that has steadied the team. In addition, snubbed by the All Star team, LaMarcus Aldridge is making his case for most pissed off player of the year by dropping two 40+ PTS games after the announcement.

As for former face of the Funk franchise and recently traded Deron Williams, whom ESPN reports was the leading cause of Sloan's retirement, chants of "coach killer" will surely follow him the rest of his career and possibly demoralize his confidence forever.

Once Again Tip

2011-01-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

It's the annual Funk Coalition and Squirtle Squad mega-trade! This time they'll be flipping some more All Star players, and reuniting Deron Williams with his old backcourt mate Joe Johnson, and Carmelo Anthony will rejoin Al Jefferson. Why don't Jon and Brian just switch teams, or borrow each other's players? Pundits aren't entirely sure either but it sure has given the new year a shot of trading excitement. If you'll recall, last February these two teams exchanged Joe Johnson and Al Jefferson and both players performed well for their new owners. Buoyed by that positive exchange, Funk and Squirtles have agreed in principle to a Melo sized deal.

Brian will be trading Carmelo Anthony, Tyreke Evans, and next year's number one pick for Deron Williams. A three for one? Seems a bit steep doesn't it? But digging just a little under the surface, Williams has increased his value over the past two years, emerging as the most well rounded PG in the land. Deron is averaging 22.1 PTS, 9.5 AST, 1.9 3PT, 1.2 STL, and stellar percentages. While there are a lot of great point guards in the league now, we'd argue that Mr. Nu Jazz is the best, thus his hefty trade price.

It's no secret that GM Jon was in absolute love with Deron, but faced with his huge hole at small forward, he felt the need to move his team captain in order to bring in the disgruntled Carmelo Anthony. Melo's NBA future is still cloudy and one thing is certain -- his numbers are depressed also. Averaging just 23.5 PTS, 8.1 REB, and shooting 43.5 FG%, Anthony has clearly been unmotivated all season long. He could still soar to the top of the scoring charts but it's unlikely he'll regain those heights this year. As for Tyreke Evans, the sophomore point guard has struggled with injuries and has been far less impressive compared to his Rookie of the Year campaign. Evans is averaging 17.1 PTS, 5.5 AST, 4.8 REB, 1.8 STL, but only shooting a putrid 39.6 FG%.

With both Brian and Jon fighting for a playoff spot, the number one pick that Brian is sending Jon's way in the 2012 draft could be any position. Looking over the rosters post-trade, we understand why both teams made the move. Brian needed a bonafide point guard stud to secure his backcourt and lead his restructuring team. Williams, Joe Johnson, and Blake Griffin will be the new core of the Squad, and GM Brian will have to put some more talent around them. We wonder if not keeping Baron Davis this off-season -- Brian kept Serge Ibaka instead -- led directly to this move. We do like the sudden uptick in 3PT that Brian's team will enjoy, and we think this blockbuster signals a move to a more perimeter orientated Squirtles' philosophy.

As for the Funk, they'll gain in the PTS and REB department but now they really have no 3PT on their roster. Jon's team was already ranked dead last in long range shooting -- Brian's team is second to last -- so maybe he'll just scrap the whole category. Losing Deron's nearly ten assists a game could push the Funk into the bottom half of the league in AST, but a lot of that will depend on Tyreke and Tony Parker's continued production. There are rumors that Evans could be salted away for the season from plantar fasciitis so if that's the case, Brian has made a very savvy move for his playoff push.

We love the gumption showed by both general managers and hope this leads to more exciting moves in the weeks ahead!

Did You Know?

2011-01-12T01:21:00.001-08:00

I just discovered this the other day while trying to find out how good (bad) my team was doing. There's an "active stats" button that allows you to see how many games your players have actually played for you, as well as very handy "matchup totals" tab that lets you see how consistent you are in each category per week/month. The normal standings view allows us to see how we're doing for the whole year but this type of detailed analysis is much more useful as teams tend to trend up or down as injuries, attrition, and trades impact our weekly totals. See below for a sample from Fat Jubas, our league leader!

Mid-Season Report: Russell Conference

2011-01-11T12:57:00.000-08:00

Earlier in the week we took a look at the Chamberlain conference. Today we continue that coverage by looking at the other side. Note: There's quite a big disparity between the good teams and the bad teams so far. We have five teams with eight wins or better (Fat Jubas, Half Man Half ImAsian, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps, Slam'N Dragon) but just one other team better than 0.500 -- defending champion Sour Snails. It's the year of the have and have nots!

VOLTRON DIVISION

Slam'N Dragon (8-2)
What happens when you add first overall pick John Wall to your roster? You become a contender, that's what. While Wall has missed a few games this season, his high rate of AST and STL has helped Thien's team vault to the top. With Raymond Felton also becoming a top flight PG, the Dragon backcourt is very strong with these two plus Dwayne Wade. The only downside for this team so far has been the injuries to big men Chris Kaman and Andrew Bynum, who have only played a combined twenty four games this season. Tyson Chandler and DeAndre Jordan have stepped in nicely though, as the Dragons' excellent record can attest to. Last year Thien won the Toilet Bowl but this year he may be headed to the Finals!

Bayside Bombardiers (5-5)
Sure we berated Pierre's team for not having made any moves, but maybe he's participating in some grand experiment where he uses the same players all season long and still makes the playoffs? Right now his squad are poised to make the post-season, and have shown a nice consistency in beating all the lower ranked teams. Whenever they face a winning squad however, the Bombardiers suddenly go in the tank. Maybe a few moves might push them over the top? I won't harp on GM Pierre's inactivity too much though, as I'm still hoping to be invited for hot pot in Bayside... Who knew that Mo Williams was averaging 7.4 AST this season? And how about Kyle Lowry? He's averaging 6.8 AST, 1.8 STL, and 1.2 3PT. Damn! This team should be better because they seem to have all the right parts on paper.

Human Amoebas (5-5)
Eric-A's team stumbled out of the gate with three straight losses and then suffered through a few more erratic weeks before he righted the ship and won his last three games. Derrick Rose has emerged as a complete fantasy point guard,, finally, averaging 24.3 PTS, 8.1 AST, 1.6 3PT, 1.1 STL on the season. Fellow third year guard Eric Gordon is also blossoming (23.5 PTS, 4.4 AST, 1.7 3PT, 1.2 STL) and there's a reborn Michael Beasley too, who is finding all the shots he can jack up in Minnesota. There is a lot of things to like about the Amoebas, including some productive young front court guys like Paul Millsap, Andray Blatche, and rookie DeMarcus Cousins. With such an enviable lineup, we're wondering why they're only 0.500 -- but that may not be for long!

MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-8)
The Pogiboys will have trouble matching last year's seven wins. After starting off 2-2, the bottom has fallen out on Alvin's team as they've lost six games in a row. If you want a win, play the Pogiboys! What's been going on? Well, aside from MVP candidate Amare Stoudemire (26.3 PTS, 9.1 REB, 2.4 BLK) the rest of the roster has been underwhelming. Brandon Jennings is hurt, Troy Murphy has been hurt and averaging 3.6 PTS when he plays, last year's second round pick Devin Harris has lost his shine. The good news is that youngsters Mike Conley and Roy Hibbert have found themselves useful with 1.9 STL and 1.7 BLK respectively, but all these parts haven't made Alvin's team win much. If everyone can get healthy, the Pogiboys could still make a playoff push but they seem headed into the Toilet Bowl.

THUNDERCATS DIVISION

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (8-2)
The Heffas are having another spectacular season and seem headed toward their first division title. After racking up twelve wins last year but having to enter the post-season as a wild card, Jose is not messing around this time. Despite lacking superior scoring punch, the players of 100 Acre Wood are good at just about everything else. Rajon Rondo is an AST and STL machine, Marcus Camby is healthy and contributing big REB and BLK, and Kevin Martin is leading a slew of shooters who are great from behind the arc and at the line. Jose's team is top three in FT%, REB, and AST and pretty solid everywhere else. This team will be hard to beat come playoff time.

Funk Coalition (4-6)
With just five wins all of last season, the Funk were mired in suckitude. This year they are off to a much better start, even as they struggle to close out games. A four game losing streak from WK4-7 hurt their overall record but Jon is emboldened by the progress his team has made. LaMarcus Aldridge has emerged as an all around contributer (20.5 PTS, 8.8 REB, 1.3 BLK, 1.1 STL) and Al Jefferson has found his groove out in Utah. Losing breakout player Joakim Noah has hurt, as he was contributing heavily in REB and BLK. Tony Parker is averaging a career best 6.8 AST, along with 1.4 STL and he's helped round out the backcourt next to Deron Williams and Rodney Stuckey. Can the Coalition pull it together for a post-season run? Or will all this progress just be a prelude to another Toilet Bowl?

Chunky Monkeys (3-7)
Last year, the Monkeys shocked everyone by making a surprise run to the Finals. This season however, they're entrenched in a five game slide and about to eliminate themselves from the playoff race. A full season of Chris Paul should have helped but he's barely getting any help. Brandon Roy might be done for the season and the front line of JJ Hickson, Darko Milicic, and Andrea Bargnani (who is playing well with 21.5 PTS, 1.2 3PT, 0.8 BLK) is strangely assembled. Is this team small ball or are they transitioning? Young point guard Jrue Holiday has been averaging 6.7 AST and 1.4 STL in a starting role but other players like Trevor Ariza, James Harden, and Travis Outlaw have been pretty disappointing. Evan needs to pull it together if he wants to make another post-season run. Then again, he just won a big football championship so maybe the fantasy gods have already given him too much?

Nande ReBuRonSAN (2-8)
Mikey's team, after winning this division on the strength of a great regular season record, has collapsed to the bottom of the standings. Two losing streaks of four games apiece is giving the fans reason to boo, and both of Nande's wins have come against just one team, the Human Amoebas. The good news is: Lebron James is in the house! LBJ is cranking out 25.3 PTS, 7.2 REB, 7.0 AST, 1.3 3PT, 1.5 STL per game but he's doing almost everything for this team. Nobody else on this squad scores more than sixteen points per game, there's only one other guy rebounding at more than eight per, and Andre Igoudala is the next highest assists guy. The depth of this team behind James, Igoudala, Gerald Wallace, Vince Carter, and Daniel Gibson is non-existent so Mikey will have some work to do in order to shore up his roster. This King needs help!

Mid-Season Report: Chamberlain Conference

2011-01-10T08:58:00.000-08:00

I've been neglecting updating about our SlamNation season but now that we're halfway through, I've got to right? Since I'm busy, you know, moving to the East Coast, these will have to be short, but so so sweet.

SILVERHAWKS DIVISION

Fat Jubas (9-1)
Leading the league in wins, the only loss Eric-L has suffered so far was a WK1 defeat. Since then, his team has ripped off a string of impressive wins and after almost toppling Sour Snails in the playoffs last year, they've taken firm control of the division this year. We questioned Jubas' young additions this offseason, and for the most part they haven't worked out, but that hasn't mattered because the vets are doing alright. The return of Kevin Garnett to fantasy relevance (15 PTS, 9.5 REB, 1.7 STL, 0.7 BLK) has fueled Eric-L's rise -- even if he's currently injured. The all Suns bench of Goran Dragic, Marcin Gortat, and Robin Lopez shows a little too much Phoenix loyalty but that's okay because when you're at the top, you can do whatever you want!

Sour Snails (6-4)
Last year the Snails romped through the regular season, threatening the league with an undefeated year right out of the gate. The defending champion is finding the road to the playoffs a bit tougher this year though, as they'll most likely be vying for a wild card spot. After the huge blockbuster that moved Lebron James out of Snailtown, Trieu managed to lose his next three games before righting the ship recently. Granted, those losses came against opponents with a combined 83% winning percentage, but it spoke to how non-dominant the Snails have been this season. With last week's win over 8-2 Half Man Half ImAsian, Trieu is hoping his post-LBJ team is just warming up. Sophomore point guards Stephen Curry and Darren Collison are on opposite trajectories as Curry has continued his fine work while Collison has mysteriously become very average. Btw, Kevin Love, we love you! Did anyone think he could maintain a 21.2 PTS, 15.7 REB, 1.4 3PT pace till mid-season?!

Jedi Knights (2-8)
Chris' team started off the season with six straight losses before picking up two wins off weak competition, including one over fellow division cellarmate Fob Stars. GM Chris has made just one move all season and we're thinking it's not because his team has been so damn dominant. With Dirk Nowitzki recently suffering an injury, the Knights will need to shuffle their lineup around a bit. The good news is that Hedo Turkoglu has decided to play again upon his return to Orlando and is averaging 13.4 PTS, 6.7 REB, 7.1 AST, 1.7 3PT, and 1.9 STL since the trade. Way to mail it in during your stints in Toronto and Phoenix Hedo! Pre-season sleepers Wesley Matthews and Dorell Wright are bombing the crap out of the ball so with some rejiggering, the Knights could shore up in time for the Toilet Bowl.

Fob Stars (2-8)
There's a lot of pathetic teams in the league but Jimmy's is right there at the bottom with the worst of them. They get routinely blown out, especially early in the season, and despite a nice win versus 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps in WK9, are having trouble gaining any momentum. The Fob Stars should be better than this. Chris Bosh is back to productive star, DJ Augustin has been useful as a third guard, and Zach Randolph is still a monster (19.7 PTS, 12.7 REB). Hell, even Rashard Lewis is back to rebounding after being traded to the Wizards. We think Jimmy can manage this team a little better, at least to make them get out of the division cellar. Hopefully.

TRANSFORMERS DIVISION

Half Man Half ImAsian (8-2)
Who's the better fantasy player: Kevin Durant or Russell Westbrook? It's a tough call but the answer really doesn't matter because Oliver has both on his roster. The two combine for about 50 PTS, 11 REB/AST, 3 STL, 1.5 BLK, and 2 3PT each Thunder's outing. The two of them have been carrying the rest of the team, as the next best player has been Andrew Bogut, who's just lost front court mate Anderson Verajao for the season -- pre-draft trade acquisition Caron Butler is already done for the year. There's not much else besides those three on the roster, and after eight straight wins to open the season, the Halfies have suffered two losses -- both to 0.500 teams -- so we're curious how long Oliver's team can stay at the top.

LA Buffy (8-2)
If Oliver's team might be sliding, Roger is poised to grab the top Transformers spot as these two 8-2 teams represent the only jockeying for a division lead so far this season. Buffy's only two losses have come against top tier opponents -- Fat Jubas and Slam'N Dragon, 17-3 combined record -- so they are clearly poised on the edge of contention. Having a full season of Danny Granger has been fantastic as Granger has reasserted himself as an all around star by averaging 20.8 PTS, 5.7 REB, 2.2 3PT, 1.2 STL, 1.0 BLK. As usual, there is a strong front line here, highlighted by the return to health of 20-10 Carlos Boozer. And let's not forget about swingman Wilson Chandler, who's been a revelation with 17.7 PTS, 6.4 REB, 1.5 BLK, 1.8 3PT. We like Buffy a lot going forward, obviously.

Squirtle Squad (4-6)
Brian has been very active on the waiver wire, having pumped through twenty seven moves so far, ranking second in that category. Sadly, all that activity has been very necessary as they find themselves flirting with 0.500 and being stricken by injuries to Joe Johnson, among others. The great news is that pseudo rookie Blake Griffin has emerged to the tune of 21.8 PTS and 12.6 REB, although his poor free throw shooting and lack of blocks might make him a (much) more exciting Zach Randolph-type. The Squirtles biggest problem has been a gigantic hole at the center position, as Serge Ibaka, Greg Monroe, and Anthony Randolph would barely combine to form one decent player. Ibaka's 2.2 BLK is nice but he only averages 6.7 REB. Brian's hoping a Carmelo Anthony trade will free him up to score near 30 ppg again, as he's down to only 23.8 PTS this year. There's some great potential on this team but it'll need to gel quickly to challenge for a playoff spot.

The 2005 NBA All-Star Team (4-6)
Last year, Steve's team suffered six losses all season. Right now they are sitting at the bottom of a division they won last year, and is going to struggle to get into the post-season. They've faced a really rough schedule, as five of their losses have come against winning teams. That's the price you pay for winning so much last year right? As the team name here suggests, this team is old. Most of the vets are doing fine though, as Manu Ginobili is having an injury free year, Jason Kidd and Andre Miller continue to pile up assists, and Antawn Jamison gets to jack up as many shots as he wants. Looking over the roster, we think Steve's squad should be better than their record, as they've got Dwight Howard (and his non-mentor Shaq) playing at an MVP level. If this were 2005, this All Star team would have sealed a championship already we're pretty sure. They'll be fighting hard to stay out of the Toilet Bowl in 2011 though.

Mid-Season Standings

2011-01-10T07:56:00.001-08:00

And while we're here, the stats for the season so far, sorted by number of moves an owner has made. Trieu's Sour Snails top the list with forty five moves so far, almost doubling the next owner, Squirtle Squad. Seven teams have made less than ten moves, and Chris and Pierre have combined for one move each. ONE MOVE. Guys, what're you trying to tell me? That your teams are so good you don't need free agents? Is that what it is?

Witness to Change

2010-12-13T01:48:00.000-08:00

It's been a pretty quiet first few weeks of the season and as fantasy football winds down, we had a gigantic bomb drop into the SlamNation world. Lebron James is taking his talents to Nande? ReBuRonSAN! I don't know what the hell that means in Japanese but I'm betting it could translate well to "I got the King bitches!"

We've had some major blockbusters in our young history but nothing quite like this. The top overall pick moved from the Chamberlain to Russell Conference. This trade between Squirtle Squad and Nande, the two best regular season teams last year, proves that even winners can't sit on their laurels and just count their money. Along with Lebron James, Trieu is moving Gerald Wallace and Hakim Warrick to Mikey for Gilbert Arenas, Stephen Jackson, and Kevin Love. Keep in mind this is the second trade between these two teams this season. Do we smell corroboration here? Or is it just two savvy GMs making moves that nobody else dares? Before we delve into the specifics of the trade, let's take a look at what prompted this huge move.

Nande has been off to a horrible start this season. After a 5-4 victory over the Human Amoebas to start the season, they've lost four in a row, with no more than three categories won each time. Ranking last in FG%, sixth in REB, low in PTS, AST, STL, and second to last in BLK, Nande's only team strength has been superior outside shooting, which helped them rank first in 3PT. Sitting in dead last in the Thundercats division, Mikey didn't hesitate to make a Riley-esque splash.

Why the move for Trieu though? After romping through the league last season, we thought the Snails would never move their dynamic trio of Lebron, Wallace, and Josh Smith. They got off to another hot start, winning four games in convincing fashion, but then suffered an embarassing 3-5-1 loss last week to Human Amoebas, who were the worst team in the league last year. Perhaps that served as the wake up call. As we've alluded to, the Sour Snails are a very strange small ball team. They are mostly outside shooters, but with James, Wallace, and Smith, they can regularly compete in the REB and BLK categories. However, if a team could over power them down low, the Snails were susceptible to their big three's free throw shooting woes. Lebron is a career 74.4% FT shooter, and Wallace (71.4%) and especially Smith (66.9%) aren't exactly eagle eyes from the charity stripe. That weakness left them a bit vulnerable during certain matchups.

While we were initially a little skeptical of this trade, after looking at the numbers and talking to team sources, it looks like a huge win win across the board. For example, the Snails get a huge upgrade in FT% and 3PT, plus a significant uptick in REB and even a bit of a kick in STL and PTS. They are worse in FG% and TO after this trade, but those weren't categories they were looking to win anyway. Let's take a look at what these guys are averaging so far during the 2011 season.

What jumps out at you right away is the decline of Wallace, who is no longer the All Star player he was last year. The huge jump of Kevin Love to an extreme 20 PTS, 15 REB player was obviously the key to this trade. He can match James and Wallace's rebound numbers, freeing Trieu to play two more streaky shooters, which is actually more befitting his style. We're a little wary of Arenas' role and injury history, but at his worst, Gilbert is an offensive powerhouse. On Nande's side, well, he got Lebron. Having an all around stud like LBJ means that Mikey now has a franchise cornerstone to build around. While he paid a heavy price -- especially since Hakim Warrick is almost waiver wire fodder -- we love this forward thinking move for both teams. Quality analysis, big cajones, and we have the first blockbuster of the year. What's next? Which owners will step up to shake their teams out of the doldrums?

Let the trading season begin!

The Infinity War

2010-10-24T03:08:00.000-07:00

Whew, the 2011 SlamNation season is fully upon us! The draft is over, the teams are set, and all we have to do is roll out the ball and get started. Meanwhile, Marvel and the NBA, two of my favorite things, came together to create this insane collaboration for ESPN. I picked up two copies of the magazine today so I could rip one apart and display all of my favorite ones in my room. Not that I have a room, or a house, or well, a wall. Okay, I made the Celtics image my iPhone wallpaper, that'll just have to do. But seriously, this is some great stuff. Maybe I have them available here for our perusal? Thanks to a special someone who gave me the access, you know who you are... If you don't know what the above photo refers to, can I point you toward The Infinity Gauntlet? So freaking awesome.

Before we get things really geared up, I took some time out of my busy schedule to create some serious team previews for everyone. Yes, this is my push to get into Alvin and Co.'s fantasy football league, but it's also done from passion. I'm freaking excited for this NBA season after swearing I'd never care again after the Game Seven loss. There are just too many interesting teams and story lines to stay away from this season. So on with the show!

All previews, from this year and the last, are under the "divisions" tag, so if you want to take a read about the teams last year, go right ahead, or simply click below.

2010
Chamberlain Conference: Silverhawks - Transformers
Russell Conference: Voltron - Thundercats

2011
Chamberlain Conference: Silverhawks - Transformers
Russell Conference: Voltron - Thundercats

(Russell Conference) Voltron

2010-10-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

Bayside Bombardiers - Pierre (11-7)
Last year we said that this team was full of "second bananas." Proving that the experts were idiots, a team full of so-called second bananas surged to a division win and Pierre's team earned a second playoff seed in the Russell Conference. Of course, while there, the lack of an alpha dog caused them to narrowly avoid a first round upset, and then that same weakness totally derailed them against the surprising Chunky Monkeys. This season, the Bombardiers still have the same problem but they hope a stronger sense of purpose will propel them to playoff success. All those secondary guys on NBA teams proved that they could put the ball in the hole, propelling Bayside to third in PTS and FG%, plus a sterling second in FT%.

The main problem they faced was a lack of backcourt production. They were weak in 3PT and AST, and absolute last in STL. Jameer Nelson, Jamal Crawford, and Mo Williams are decent but not dominanting in any category. New additions Leandro Barbosa and Kyle Lowry could help but we predict that the Bombardiers will have trouble increasing those categories unless they can find a leader at the guard position. Actually, if Barbosa can do anything with his unlimited time in Toronto, he could really help the 3PT category. It's strange that a team with this many shooters aren't at least average from beyond the arc but the stats don't lie. Maybe jettisoning last year's third round uber-disappointment, Ben Gordon, will help morale and give some shots to more efficient players.

The great news for Pierre is that the frontcourt is absolutely fantastic. Pau Gasol and Luis Scola are interchangeable at power forward and center, and Scola had some ridiculously great games at the end of last season. David West is solid and he should bounce back to 20-10 status after dipping a bit last year. Small forward Luol Deng didn't make the keeper roster but was snatched right back up this season. There isn't much needed behind these four but Charlie Villanueva, Samuel Dalembert, and Shelden Williams are around for depth. Charlie V has a ton of fantasy upside but he doesn't seem to care much about trying very hard. Dalembert was huge down the stretch last season and is a necessary rim protector, but he starts the season dinged up and we're not sure how healthy he plans on being. Overall, this team surprised us with their great balance and effort and there's no reason not to expect another fantastic season from the boys of Queens.
NBA Team: Utah Jazz

Golden Ticket - Thien (9-9)
The team that keeps changing its name -- for extra money and merchandising sales no doubt -- had reason to keep changing identities. They started off last season in a stupor, winning only once in their first five games. Then they ripped off six straight wins and looked like legit contenders. Five losses in six games later and the Golden boys found themselves in the Toilet Bowl. Of course, once there, they flexed their muscles again and won the whole damn thing, earning the number overall pick this season. Whew, is everyone going to buy season tickets to watch Thien's team this year or what?

That first pick turned out to be John Wall, the only sure thing out of this crop of rookies. Last year we said this team was only lacking a premier point guard and twelve months later here he is. Wall is going to help tremendously all around, pushing AST from last year's poor ranking (fifth to last) to something much higher this season. His quick hands will likely push STL up as well (already a strength last season), and his offense will allow Golden Ticket to challenge for the PTS crown, where they were second last year. Pairing Wall with Dwayne Wade is going to be insane, and we're pretty sure they'll be unbeatable in the backcourt. Last year's starting point guard, Raymond Felton, is pushed to third guard duty, where he'll thrive and add his own underrated bunch of AST/STL.

That's not all. Golden Ticket is also very good at both 3PT and BLK, an interesting combination. The BLKs will likely dip as Andrew Bynum is injured, Kenyon Martin is gone, and only Chris Kaman remains to man the middle. There will be an audition for the PF spot between Drew Gooden, Thaddeus Young, and Tiago Splitter. What we don't need to worry about is the wing positions, as Rudy Gay and Paul Pierce are perfect complements to the backcourt. Once Glass Man Bynum returns, this team will officially be super scary, with a balanced team that should contend for a championship -- the real one, not the toilet kind, this time around.
NBA Team: Oklahoma Thunder

Morrie's Pogiboys - Alvin (7-11)
The Pogis has a pretty disastrous draft last season. Third round pick Caron Butler had to be traded for a third rounder this summer as his value plummeted, Tyrus Thomas was a fourth rounder and never quite steadied his statistics, and Charlie Villanueva was the sixth selection, ouch. Those guys didn't work out as promised. The good news was rookie gem Brandon Jennings, who saved GM Alvin's reputation, and the season, as Devin Harris was in and out of the lineup. Jennings maybe encapsulates the Pogiboys season overall, as he probably contributed to their second to last ranking in FG% and third to last in TOs. He's only going to get better in his second season though -- possibly much better.

All world Amare Stoudemire carried this team to seven wins behind his fantastic offensive numbers. He'll likely push above 25 ppg this season and he'll be counted on to play a fast athletic center. Oh Ty Thomas, Alvin's soft spot. Can Thomas be the defensive presence tihs team needs or will Roy Hibbert have to be the answer? Having Devin Harris return to his 2009 numbers would be fantastic and we like third guard Mike Conley, who is sneaky good and getting better. The big questions are who'll man the shooting guard and small forward positions this year. Is Marco Belinelli and Austin Daye the answer? We see a bit of a homer reach on Daye but apparently he's ready to be the skinniest power forward ever?

And in the event Belinelli isn't up to the task, last year showed us Marcus Thornton's potential so one of them will cover the SG/SF slot. The rest of the bench is Carl Landry, Josh Childress, Jamario Moon, and Al Harrington. When Harrington returns, he'll give a big boost to the offense and could be a matchup switch with Hibbert. We don't think Carl Landry's hard work will be slept on in Sacramento so he'll likely take over for Tyrus if he falters. As for Childress and Moon, one of them will come through right? We see the Pogiboys needing growth from his team at every position except Amare, in order to compete for a playoff spot.
NBA Team: New Jersey Nets

Human Amoebas - Eric A (3-15)
Last year we predicted that Eric A's young team was going to be a contender in 2012 but that the first few years might be difficult. As it turned out, 2010 was a horrific season as all that youth dragged the Amoebas to last place in the league. They were second to last in 3PT, third to last in REB and AST, and middle of the pack in just about everything else. With no defined strength, this team needs to find an identity and gel quickly for them to get out of the cellar.

Last year's first round pick, SF Danny Granger, was shipped out mid-season for Monta Ellis and Ellis is now the centerpiece of a promising backcourt that includes Derrick Rose and Eric Gordon, fresh off their World Championships experience this summer. It would be hard to find a better up-and-coming guard rotation anywhere else. The frontcourt is all potential and not a lot of proven production. Michael Beasley will be given all the minutes he needs to shine in his new Minnesota home, Paul Millsap will be stuck behind another injury prone power forward in Utah, and Andray Blatche will be looking for a huge breakout season. The intriguing prospect here is rookie PF/C DeMarcus Cousins, who could make a quick impact. In fact, he needs to make an immediate impact because he's the starting center.

The bench is filled with that p-word again, "potential." Guards Ty Lawson and George Hill are both reserves for now but trades would likely make them very viable starting options. Swingman Anthony Morrow should have secured the starting small forward spot in New Jersey and both he and the versatile Ersan Ilyasova will contribute in the 3PT department. Marreese Speights flashed some potential last season but will likely ride the pine unless minutes clear up for him in Philadelphia. Overall, Eric-A will need big seasons from Gordon, Blatche, and Cousins to prepare themselves for a championship run in 2012. We believe!
NBA Team: Washington Wizards

(Chamberlain Conference) Silverhawks

2010-10-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sour Snails - Trieu (16-1-1)
We don't want to point fingers here but having two four win teams in this division means Trieu's monster team feasted on weak competition all season long. That's why they were almost undefeated last year. That's why they won the championship. That's why they look like a potential dynasty team. It has nothing to do with the fact that they were ranked tops in PTS, 3PT, AST, STL, and BLKs all season long. Nope, that has nothing to do with it at all. Look at all of the Snails weaknesses! They turn the ball over at a prolific rate (last), can't shoot free throws (second to last), and get outrebounded once in awhile (ranked fifth). A team that undisciplined should lose a lot right?

I mean, sure, a starting lineup of Stephen Curry, Aaron Brooks, Darren Collison, Danilo Gallinari, and Brendan Haywood ain't bad but hardly invincible right? Sadly, those five are the bottom end of Trieu's likely rotation players. Add in Gerald Wallace. Add in Josh Smith. Oh and add in Lebron James. Those three change a small ball team into a big-small ball team. Collectively they contribute 26+ REB per and almost 5 BLK. The traditional small ball team can't do those things. In fact, it's crazy that the Snails are so great at BLK and so terrible at FT%. Understanding that the few matchups the Snails can't win are against teams that can compete with them in one of their five dominant categories and on the boards, GM Trieu wisely drafted a few big men for certain matchups. Haywood, Ben Wallace, and rookie Greg Monroe won't be used often but they'll be essential plug-ins against the handful of teams that the Snails can't beat in REB.

Two Knicks will cheer from the bench, Toney Douglas and Kelenna Azubuike, and if Trieu hits on another outstanding sleeper we might as well all give up. You realize he had the vision to draft Curry as the first rookie off the board last year right? Top of the fifth round. We said last year that "it seemed a bit early for Curry" but now he's a first round value. Genius!

Looking over this roster, I have a hard time picture many losses this season. The matchup nightmares are all over the place. They can go super quick with Curry, Brooks, Collison, Lebron, and Josh Smith. They can go ultra big with Lebron, Gallinari, Wallace, Smith, and Haywood. Oh wait, that's the NBA. This is just fantasy. Even worse. Short of a Lebron-colypse, is there any way this team doesn't take the regular season crown again? With the lessened games played cap and the shorter rotatations that brings, can your eight guys beat Trieu's eight guys? Heck, can your eight guys beat Trieu's seven guys?!
NBA Team: Miami Heat

Fat Jubas - Eric L (9-8-1)
The Jubas had a great inaugural season, as they came within an inch of toppling eventual champion Sour Snails. Heading into the last day, they were tied before folding but not holding their head in shame. In fact, the Jubas may be the best bet to topple the Snails as they played them extremely tough during all their matchups. This veteran team led the league in FT%, passed the ball spendidly (second in AST), and shot the ball effectively and efficiently (fifth in 3PT and FG%). This is a team with no real weaknesses, as they rank about average in just about every other category. Impressive.

The veteran laden team is headed by Steven Nash, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen. All three are past their primes (although Nash isn't slipping much) but will likely remain very effective players for at least another two seasons. The young cornerstone of this team is Brook Lopez, who is the most well rounded big man around, and will be joined this year by his brother Robin Lopez. I vote we make all their stats count double for the Wonder Twin team up. Small forward Jeff Green is who he is at this point, a nice player who averages 1 3PT/BLK/STL a game, while not really rebounding enough as a power forward. That last trait could be said of Boris Diaw, who rebounds even less than Green, but has a unique stat that makes him a valuable reserve. There is a hole at the backup guard position, with new Cavs guard Ramon Sessions likely fitting the role. Given enough shots and time, Sessions can be outstanding and we predict good things.

The other backup guards, Goran Dragic and Rodrigue Beaubois, are probably in the next generation of fantasy standouts, but will be stuck firmly behind Nash and Jason Kidd respestively, for at least another year. Intriguing sleepers Nicolas Batum and Taj Gibson anchor the bench but they should be ready to enter the fray at any time, as Diaw and the lesser Lopez could be taken out for matchup reasons. We know owner Eric-L thinks of this team as a contender but we're curious how this mix of young and old will unfurl over time. With a core of Nash-Garnett-Allen be best served with some veteran help to make a run during their contending window?
NBA Team: Boston Celtics

Jedi Knights - Chris (4-12-2)
Chris had a great offseason, possibly the best of any owner in the league. Chris got married! Congratulations all around! Now that his heart is happy and he's officially wifed up, his basketball team really needs his love too. The Jedis are an efficient shooting team, ranking second in FG% and third in FT% last season. The problem was that they were sort of a mess everywhere else. Third to last in 3PT, second to last in REB/AST/BLK, and dead last in PTS. They were the best TO team in the league though! Actually, winning TOs could be a sure sign your team is bad, as the top three finishers in TOs last year (Chris, Jimmy, Jon) had a combined thirteen wins among them. The strategy in 2011 is to just throw the ball out of bounds on every possession obviously.

With Dirk Nowitzki, David Lee, and Nene, we're actually not sure how the Knights were so inept on the boards. Let's hope that was an aberration as those three should be enough to win REB once in awhile. There's absolutely nothing behind them in the frontcourt though, as neither Yi Jianlian nor Brandon Bass are good rebounders. But let's not worry about the solid -- but thin -- frontcourt. The big question will be if Jose Calderon and Hedo Turkoglu can return to form. Both were absolutely horrible last year. They were supposed to anchor Chris' passing and shooting stats but they weren't up to the task. OJ Mayo and John Salmons, nearly identical statistical players (19 PTS, 3 REB/AST, 1.5 3PT and 1 STL), are perfect on any team and we kind of love them both.

There could be a battle for that eighth rotation player position, as there doesn't seem to be much difference between Dorell Wright, Yi, and sleeper Wesley Matthews. The likely opening day starter will be Beno Udrih, who thrived passing and shooting next to ROY Tyreke Evans. Actually, Udrih has to start because Calderon will need the help in the AST category, even if he returns to 10+ per game. So that's how this season shapes up for the Jedi Knights: Calderon and Turkoglu need to make a comeback!
NBA Team: Toronto Raptors

Fob Stars - Jimmy (4-13-1)
We liked this team a lot in the pre-season last year. We predicted big things but were rewarded with the second worst team in the league. What happened? Well the backcourt was horrible, helping Jimmy's squad to dead last in AST and second to last in STL. On top of that, there was no defense either, as the Fob Stars miscommunicated often and also ranked dead last again in BLK. Their best category? Second in TOs!

Despite returning his top six draft picks this year, the Fob Stars can't be pleased with the effort from any of them. Only Zach Randolph outplayed his position (fifth rounder) while Chris Bosh, Chauncey Billups, Rashard Lewis, Emeka Okafor, and Louis Williams all underwhelmed. The new backcourt will feature SG Richard Hamilton and DJ Augustin, who are probably upgrades. Lou Wills will be relegated to reserve minutes, both in real life and fantasy. Nobody expected Billups to only average 5.6 AST last season and he'll have to up that by quite a bit if he wants to help his team. We do think Bosh, Randolph, Lewis, and Okafor form a well rounded front court, so we're not sure why they couldn't help this team to more wins.

Last year there was a big hole at swingman all season long and this year will be no different. Is Carlos Delfino or CJ Miles the answer? Delfino is actually quite underrated and we like his quiet combination of 3PT and STL to win out. Rookie Evan Turner seems to be a bit lost in preseason so we're not sure what to expect out of him. Fellow rookie, center Cole Aldrich, will be good at setting picks for Rip but that's about it. Overall we like this team on paper but as has been proven, they are no monsters on the court. The best case scenario here is that DJ Augustin becomes a worthy starter and Billups finds his passing eye again.
NBA Team: Detroit Pistons

(Chamberlain Conference) Transformers

2010-10-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

Korea Korea - Steve (12-6)
Team Korea had a great regular season by piling up twelve wins, earning a top seed, and proving they were a championship contender. A little hiccup in the playoffs prevented them from a having post-season success but that just means they're more focused this time around. With the gumption to draft Dwight Howard fifth overall last year, GM Steve proved that he was a man of vision. His team was clearly built around the big man's strengths, pushing them to second overall in REB and BLK. By surrounding Dwight with shooters, Korea was also devastating from deep (third in 3PT) and good at whipping the ball around to perimeter shooters (fourth in AST). Of course they were last in FT%, but that's to be expected with Mr. Howard on the team. Last year's third round pick, Vince Carter, was unceremoniously cut this offseason and a statement released by the team said, "Vince sucks, that's why we cut him."

Outside of Superman II, the starting lineup is a pretty old group. Jason Kidd, Jason Richardson, Andrei Kirilenko, and Antawn Jamison have all had better years but as proven last season, they've all still got value. Kidd has blossomed as an outside shooter, Richardson will be even better this year in Phoenix, and Jamison will return to 20-10 status as the new leader of the Cavaliers. The reserves are filled with some old fantasy favorites too: Andre Miller, Yao Ming, and Shawn Marion. We actually love this top eight, as they've got one or two more seasons to make a championship run. Ming will be limited to 24 minutes this season but Steve also has Yao's backup, Brad Miller. We think the addition of Andre Miller will be huge as he'll sub in for last year's disappintment, Rodney Stuckey, and provide a pile of assists backing up Kidd.

On a team with this many veterans, someone has to carry the bags right? How about NCAA tourney hero and nicest guy ever Gordon Hayward to schlep all these legends' bags around? Hayward probably won't get much playing time for Korea this season but he'll be invaluable as the naive comic relief. Oh and Linas Kleiza is on this team too, after terminating his contract with the Greek League's Olympiacos after just one season. He and Josh Childress must have decided to come back to the US together. Kleiza can help Hayward with the extra heavy luggage.
NBA Team: Dallas Mavericks

Half Man Half ImAsian - Oliver (11-7)
After upending division winner Korea Korea in the playoffs, Oliver's team hit a snag when it faced off against eventual champion Sour Snails. Still, Oliver must have been happy with his season. With a team that was well balanced, with no major weaknesses and a few strengths (fourth in FT%, third in REB and BLK), Half and Half got better during the off season just by jettisoning last year's fifth round pick, Richard Hamilton, in favor of Caron Butler via trade. Caron isn't a fantasy star anymore but he'll bring a lot more well rounded game than Rip.

Half and Half is led by Thunder teammates Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, who had a brilliant summer leading Team USA to a World Championship. Durant will probably win the scoring crown again, and with little bit of help, Oliver could probably handily win PTS each week as they were ranked fifth last season. Westbrook proved to be a great fantasy PG and will continue to improve but his high AST and STL is already outstanding.

The secret strength of this team is up front, with Andrew Bogut and Troy Murphy both throwing up big double doubles. Murphy is hurt to start the season but he'll be back soon. Filling in for him will be Anderson Varejao, a double double threat himself. Oliver's hoping from a bounce back season from Ben Gordon, as his streak shooting and long distance skils would really complement Durant well. The other rotation players will be center JaVale McGee and guard Rudy Fernandez. We're high on McGee but don't see a disgruntled Rudy getting much love this season. In fact, we see Mike Bibby being subbed in just for his steady leadership and assists.
NBA Team: Orlando Magic

Buffy - Roger (8-10)
Despite not making the playoffs, Roger got a nice consolation prize by making it to the Toilet Bowl finals and snatched an old favorite of his, Baron Davis, from his division mate Brian. Davis will be quite the addition because this was a team desperately in need of a point guard with range. Buffy ranked first in FG% and REB, pretty good in BLK, and dead last in 3PT. We're actually quite surprised Buffy was middle of the road in AST as they only had Andre Miller over five dimes per last season.

Last year's mega trade of Brandon Roy for Danny Granger will give this team another huge boost from behind the arc. That will open up a lot of space for Tim Duncan, Marc Gasol, Carlos Boozer, and Elton Brand to operate down low. Duncan and Brand have seen better days but Gasol is starting to rival his brother in all around effectiveness, fantasy wise. Those four (and Lamar Odom) are the reason Buffy is so strong in the big man categories.

There's a host of familiar names that will shuttle in and out of the lineup to form a very deep squad. Kirk Hinrich and Mike Dunleavy will be counted on for more outside shooting and some passing numbers. Ron Artest won his championship but he'll probably take a seat with no room for major minutes. We're curious if Wilson Chandler was just a flash in the pan or really a Matrix-lite, we're undecided for the most part. He'll start the season but Dunleavy or Josh Howard might soon steal his minutes. Overall, Roger's team is once again deep, laden with veterans, and this time around, has the outside shooting to become truly well rounded.
NBA Team: Chicago Bulls

Squirtle Squad - Brian (8-10)
Squaring off in the toughest division in the land, the Squirtles weren't great but they weren't bad either. The stats bear this out as they didn't rank in the top five or bottom five in any category. Brian's team was serviceable, that's about right. We're curious why Baron Davis wasn't a keeper but maybe big man Serge Ibaka was the right choice here as Brian's weakest category was BLKs.

Buoyed by Carmelo Anthony's offensive fireworks early in the season, the Squirtles were looking great. Melo has become a complete fantasy player as he contributes in every category. However, Melo and Al Jefferson weren't a good inside out combo so GM Brian shipped Jefferson out in return for steady Joe Johnson. Back in Atlanta, Johnson will contribute his usual outstanding numbers. The big find last year was Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans, who averaged an outstanding 21.1 PTS, 5.4 REB, 5.9 AST, 1.6 STL, and 1.0 3PT. Can he get better? Does he even need to get better? And now potential ROY candidate, Blake Griffin is back, and he'll likely fill the frontcourt void left by Jefferson. Whew, that is a strong foundation.

The unknown factor with this team is everybody else. Serge Ibaka is good and getting better, Anthony Randolph has been the biggest tease for two years running, and Terrence Williams only needs minutes to contribute (he averaged 14 PTS, 7 REB, 6 AST last April!). The steady vets off the bench will be Mike Miller and Shane Battier. Miller will drain jumpers all day long down in Florida -- although not until January? We're not sure what to think of Jeff Teague, rookie Al-Farouq Aminu, and Arron Afflalo, but they might not to play much if everything works out like Squirtle fans predict.
NBA Team: New York Knicks

(Russell Conference) Thundercats

2010-10-22T00:52:00.000-07:00

Nande? ReBuRonSAN - Mikey (13-5)
Mikey's team jumped out to a 9-2 record last season and didn't really let up, finishing with the second best regular season record in the league and cementing themselevs as a top contender. Of course, we're not entirely sure how that happened as they really displayed no discernible strengths (aside from top three in STL) and few weaknesses (third to last FG%, fourth to last FT%). Franchise player Gilbert Arenas only played 32 games due to injury and bringing a gun into the locker room, further clouding the issue of how Mikey got his team to achieve such great heights. We can only attribute last season's success to Coach of the Year Mikey, who got the absolute maximum out of his squad. At least until the playoffs, which resulted in a first round mega-upset by lightly regarded divison foe, Chunky Monkeys. But that was last season and Nande is looking forward to more butt kicking this year and revenge on the Monkeys.

With Arenas gone most of the season, Stephen Jackson stepped up his game and delivered explosive performances all across the board. Captain Jack took all the big shots, talked all the smack Gilbert couldn't do, and probably brought a few handguns to the locker room too. Bulldozer Corey Maggette stepped up alongside Jackson, and contributed 20 ppg despite being selected in the last round of the draft. An absolute steal wouldn't you say? Swingman Andre Iguodala was the heartbeat of the team as he contributed positive numbers across the board, and he's coming off a great summer, as is power forward Kevin Love, who will now have all the rebounds in Minnesota to himself. A nifty little trade gave Mikey some extra picks up top during this draft and he used to them to select Vince Carter, Josh McRoberts, and rookie scorer Jordan Crawford. While Carter is hardly Vinsanity anymore, he's a great value in the redraft and will be a very nice addition to the backcourt. We literally don't know who Josh McRoberts is but he's the first big man off the bench for better or worse. He plays in Indiana so maybe he'll be Troy Murphy-lite?

Actually, there is a lack of bigs on this team, making us think we'll see some small ball from Nande this season. Last year the corpses of Jermaine O'Neal and Ben Wallace manned the middle but Mikey has smartly decided to find some living players to plug in at the PF and C positions. DeJuan Blair will be the starting center as management waits on either Spencer Hawes or Timofey Mozgov to emerge. We're high on Timofey, if only because his name is fun to say. There's no reason to doubt Mikey's talents this season and the addition of Gilbert Arenas is like getting an All Star back, provided he doesn't do anything else crazy.
NBA Team: Denver Nuggets

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps - Jose (12-6)
The case could be made that the Heffalumps should have earned a higher seed based on their superior regular season record. However, they were demoted to the third seed because Pierre's Bombardiers won their division while Jose's team were the runners up. Unfair? Maybe, but this classy organization didn't complain. I know this is technically Kobe Bryant's team but the Heffalumps played more like an extension of their point guard, Rajon Rondo. They were ranked second in AST and STL, fourth in FG%/AST/TO, weak in 3PT, and third to last in PTS. That's a franchise that plays like Rondo right?

For a team loaded with shooters, it's strange that they are ranked fourth to last in 3PT actually. Between Kobe, Kevin Martin, and Jason Terry, there should plenty of threes raining down. I guess Martin was hurt much of last season. Long time Heffa favorite, Andrei Kirilenko didn't make the cut this season, as Jose brought in Channing Frye and Mehmet Okur to add some 3PT shooting to the frontcourt, a nice wrinkle to the offense. Frye and Okur represents a change of direction for this team as last year they had Kirilenko and bruisers Anderson Varejao and DeJuan Blair manning the power forward spot. Now all the rebounding will be left up to Al Horford and Marcus Camby. And if you believe in Greg Oden, he's here too, waiting his turn for the IR slot to open. There's also a backup big, Minnesota's Anthony Tolliver, on this team but I literally know nothing about him. Is Anthony Tolliver Darko Milicic's new American name?

Twenty three year old rookie Wesley Johnson will be tasked with manning the small forward position immediately, as his all around game has already given him an edge over fan favorite Tayshaun Prince. Johnson will be given a lot of responsibility early on and we like him. The biggest question about this team is health. Oden and Okur are already out for a bit, and Camby and Martin are perpetual injury risks. This team is deep on paper but there always seems to be a few players in street clothes. Also, we still think Kobe is slightly miscast on this team, as his strengths/weaknesses seem to be in contrast with the rest of the team, but clearly Jose knows something the rest of us losers don't after securing one of the best records in the league last season. The 100 Acre Wood is for winners only!
NBA Team: Portland Trailblazers

Chunky Monkeys - Evan (9-9)
Whoa, did a .500 team go all the way to the Finals last season or what? Evan had the second overall pick last season, Chris Paul, but misfired on some of his other choices. Mehmet Okur in Rd4, Leandro Barbosa in Rd5, and a weak rest of the draft that isn't worth mentioning here. To further complicate things, CP3 went down and ended up playing only half a season, and it looked like the Monkeys were headed for the Toilet Bowl. A few mega-trades and some savvy free agent pickups later, those crazy Monkeys not only made the playoffs but shocked opponents and delighted mothers as they rickrolled their way to the championship round. Unfortunately, CP3 didn't come back to full strength until a little too late and Evan didn't quite have enough to fuel the greatest upset of all time. Still, a splendid season.

Having chosen to go small from the beginning, the Monkeys were predictably good in the guard categories (second in 3PT, third in AST, fourth in STL) and bad in the big men stuff (last in FG% and REB, third to last in BLK). The coaching staff isn't going to change anything now so the same small ball philosophy remains. Paul and Brandon Roy are the best one-two duo that fake money can buy and they complement each other perfectly. Third guard Jrue Holiday was absolutely essential during the playoff run and has now established himself as the starter in Philadelphia. Center Andrea Bargnani is the best small ball big man in the land and there doesn't seem to be any limit to his minutes in Toronto now that Bosh is gone. Trevor Ariza is a great swingman for this system with his very high 3PT/STL combination. Luke Ridnour will compete for the starting job in Minnesota but might hop between the starting lineup and the bench.

SG James Harden was a keeper selection but there's a decent chance he'll split time with DeMar DeRozan as it's hard to tell if either of them will emerge enough to be counted on the whole season. Right now the power forward position will be manned by Travis Outlaw, who is a decent long range shooter so maybe he'll work out -- although we think there could be a better option. What we're not about sure about is what JJ Hickson and Darko Milicic are doing on this team. They have some REB and BLK ability but we think they were drafted to provide some form of half time entertainment. Where will the Monkeys end up at the end of this season? Who knows but with CP3 back to full health, we're pretty sure it's going to be better than a .500 record for Evan's team this time around.
NBA Team: Phoenix Suns

Funk Coalition - Jon (5-12-1)
The Funk were hoping for big things season one but came out and fell on their face. While the rest of the Thundercat division finished .500 or above, Jon's team had no offensive output and little defensive intensity, ranking second to last in PTS and FT%, fourth to last in STL and BLK. The lone bright spot was a high rank in TOs, which means they were good at protecting the ball -- but not doing much with it.

The big men on this team failed in every way last year. LaMarcus Aldridge didn't play up to his fourth round selection, Andris Biedrins was a huge bust, Tyson Chandler was injured, and even with the breakout season from Joakim Noah, this cast of characters weren't good. The late season trade of Joe Johnson brought in Al Jefferson, who will have to stay healthy to justify the decision. The same frontcourt returns this season (minus Chandler) and that may either be stupid or loyal. The loss of Johnson in the backcourt means Rodney Stuckey is the new shooting guard, but the real shooting will come from JR Smith, who will man the small forward spot. A big question is where Tony Parker is headed this season, out of town or back to being an All Star? The good news is that Deron Williams is on board and still dropping dimes and running the offense.

There is hardly a bench to speak of here. Jonny Flynn had a rough rookie season and he's currently on the injured list, Reggie Williams and Courtney Lee will spell JR Smith but will likely only be situational matchups. Rookie Derrick Favors is at least a year away according to published reports. The Funk might be in for another long season unless Al Jefferson can dominate and stay off the injured list. A big if.
NBA Team: Minnesota Timberwolves

Schedule Template

2010-10-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

Did you know that your fine commissioner Alvin does a schedule template each and every year that accounts for strength of schedule, conference and divisional games, and needs to be updated manually? Wowza! Yes, this league is so pro that the commissioners are offering their best work to make sure everything is fair and equitable. So please, if you have a spare point guard or big man needing a cheap way to exit your roster, consider your fine commishes as trade targets first.

And if you have League Manager powers, do not adjust the schedule settings or reset them, otherwise Alvin will be very upset.

2011 Draft Position Analysis

2010-10-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

Does draft position equate to winning? Somehow the owners with the middle draft picks came out worse for wear during the season. The three worst teams last year drafted #6, 8 and 9 overall in 2010. Despite picking at decent positions, Eric A, Jimmy, and Chris combined for a 11-40-3 record. One factor could have been transactions, as Eric-A and Chris both had very low transaction moves during the season. Or perhaps their poor inaguaral season points to the drop off in top tier superstars from the #5 position on?

Interestingly, the next couple picks of this year's draft are owned entirely by the low teens drafters of last year (#10, 11, 13, 12). After that, any patterns devolve but it was interesting to look at where a team finished relative to their draft opportunity. For example, Eric-L, Pierre, and Mikey drafted the last three positions in the 2010 (#16, 14, 15 respectively) but performed at a 33-20-1 clip. The extreme outlier here is Mikey, who drafted second to last yet compiled the second best regular season record in the league. Impressive work!

Thien's team drafted #3 overall but he finished with only a .500 season, and he was mostly unaffected by injury to his top guys -- unlike Evan who lost #2 overall Chris Paul pretty early on. Thien did rally to win the Toilet Bowl but his regular season was certainly a cause of stress as his team performed erratically throughout.

Trieu, with the number one overall pick, won the whole damn thing, and faced off in the Finals versus the number two overall pick, Evan. However it's not that simple as Evan's team was actually only .500 during the regular season (before CP3 returned and a trade pushed Evan to a strong post-season). Trieu did have the benefit of drafting Lebron James but it can't be said that was the only reason he rose to the top. His team, and subsequent draft picks, were incredibly prescient and made for a dominating force. I mean, he did scoop up Stephen Curry in the 5th round, and now Curry is easily a second round pick after his stellar rookie campaign. So does draft position determine who will win? The answer is: "who knows?" But it sure is fun to analyze these things in the aftermath.

Agent Zero is back!

2010-10-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

Coach Flip Saunders said Wednesday that Arenas was fined an undisclosed amount by the team for claiming to have a sore knee before the Wizards' game against Atlanta on Tuesday night.

Arenas said after the game that he pretended to have a bum knee to give teammate Nick Young a chance to start.

"I told [Young] I'd sacrifice playing tonight so he can get some time in because I know he's kind of frustrated he's not getting a chance to crack the [small forward] position, especially since we're going three guards," Arenas said Tuesday, smiling. "So I told him I'll go and fake an injury or say something's wrong with me so you can start."
-Gilbert Arenas fined for faking injury

2011 Keeper Analysis

2010-10-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

What a difference a year makes. After one full season of playing, there were quite a few difficult cuts as owners were tasked with whittling down their rosters to just six keepers. My interest lay in seeing which were the high priced veterans or promising young guys ultimately deemed not good enough. Only four teams stayed pat, having drafted "perfectly." Thien, Jimmy, Chris, and Eric-L all elected to keep their first six selections from the 2010 draft. Technically, so did Trieu but he also has a bonus keeper due to his trade with Mikey.

Who were the toughest cuts? Well out of the first two rounds, nobody was tossed back into the redraft rosters. But Korea Korea's GM Steve decided that Vince Carter wasn't up to snuff and released him despite having invested a high third rounder on him. Similarly, Alvin was on the verge of cutting his third round pick, Caron Butler, but managed to trade him the night before the 2011 draft. Both decisions indicate how far Carter and Butler have fallen in fantasy circles. The other third rounder to hit the chopping block was Pierre's Ben Gordon, which doesn't come as much of a surprise after his lackluster season.

Other big names cut maliciously by their general managers: Mehmet Okur, Baron Davis, Shawn Marion (4th round), Richard Hamilton, Andris Biedrins, Jermaine O'Neal (5th), Leandro Barbosa, Mario Chalmers, Greg Oden, Thaddeus Young, Michael Redd (6th).

What about the other end of the spectrum? Five undrafted free agents made keeper rosters this year: Darren Collison, Jrue Holiday, JaVale McGee, Marcus Thornton, and Serge Ibaka. They all have youth and tremendous upside, and prove that paying close attention during the season can have huge benefits. Wait, that should be obvious. As a starting five, these guys wouldn't be all that bad, especially as they mature.

Other low end draft picks that fought their way into owners' keeper hearts. Corey Maggette (12th round), James Harden (11th), Jamal Crawford (9th), Andray Blatche, Lamar Odom (8th), Jason Terry and Joakim Noah (7th). And there there's Yao Ming, who was a huge X-factor heading into last season. Steve had the foresight to pluck Mr. Yao in the 9th round and even at twenty four minutes a game this year, he should be worth the wait.

Pre-Draft Trades

2010-10-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

With rumors swirling before the draft date, owners scrambled to adjust their keeper rosters. Despite hopes of some big names being shuffled around, and one or two really high caliber players being on the trading block, in the end, the biggest name moved was Pogiboys' forward Caron Butler. Butler, a third round selection last year has been exchanged for Half Man Half Asian's third round pick this year.

Alvin must be disappointed that one of the cornerstones of his franchise just one year ago was close to the keeper chopping block. Butler did average 15 PTS, 5.4 REB, and 1.8 STL after his mid-season trade to the Mavericks but his potential as a franchise guy is clearly over. From Oliver's end, he gets an upgrade over Rip Hamilton and adds a still strong STLs guy.

Earlier in the week, the Sour Snails and Nande Reburonsan also made a move, albeit with no actual players trading places permanently. Trieu's team was too deep and he'd been looking to hold onto more than six keepers so paid Mikey a 1st, 2nd, and 6th round pick in this year's draft in order to receive a 3rd, 5th, and F Danilo Gallinari back. A savvy move like this allows the Snails to keep their rising star without having to risk the chance of not getting him back in the 2011 draft. Nande will also be in the enviable position of having quite a few early round picks in order to increase the depth of his own roster. We are predicting more trades of this type in the future as they seem to benefit teams both short and long on keeper talent.

The official start of the 2011 draft is right around the corner!

2011 Keepers

2010-10-12T00:52:00.001-07:00

2011 Draft Order

2010-09-30T14:51:00.001-07:00

2011 League Draft doc

*Toilet Bowl winner and runner-up get picks #1 and #2, then it's reverse order of standings, no snake. (Hot Gems & Buffy)
**Champion and runner-up get last and next-to-last picks respectively. (Sour Snails & Chunky Monkeys)

First round overall #1 and #2:
Hot Gems (9-9)*
LA Buffy (8-10)*

Every round afterwards:

Human Amoebas (3-15)
Fob Stars (4-13-1)
Jedi Knights (4-12-2)
Funk Coalition (5-12-1)
Morrie's Pogiboys (7-11)
Squirtle Squad (8-10)
LA Buffy (8-10)*
Hot Gems (9-9)*
Fat Jubas (9-8-1)
Bayside Bombardiers (11-7)
Half Man Half ImAsian (11-7)
100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (12-6)
Korea! Korea! (12-6)
Nande Reburonsan (13-5)
Chunky Monkeys (9-9)**
Sour Snails (16-1-1)**

Tie breakers:
8-10: Squirtle tied with Buffy, but Buffy had more categories won, 1-1
9-9: Chunky Monkeys beat Golden Ticket, 1-0
12-6: Korea beat 100 Acre Wood, 1-0

Gearing up for 2011

2010-09-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new season! It's a dark dark world as the Lakers are the two time champs but our league champion, Trieu, is loving both his and the Lakers' big wins. So, are we ready for the 2011 season? Everyone is in right?

Keepers declared by Oct 7th-ish, we draft asap after that. It should only be a six round draft this time around. A little rules refresher if needed as well as links to final standings from last year and rosters:

2010 Rules | 2010 Final Standings | 2010 Rosters

Possible rules changes:
1. Lineup Changes: Last year it was "Daily - Lock at First Game of the Day," I'm changing it to "Daily - Lock Individually at Scheduled Gametime." I doubt there's much argument here and we only didn't change it last year because the setting was locked.

2. Games Played Limits: This is the big one. Last year it was 32 and we voted it down to 22 after our WK2 games. However ESPN would only allow it to go as low as 25 for a seven game week. This year ESPN changed that and we can move it to any number we want. So can we do 22 again now that it's available? Or go even lower? Remember, if you are one below the cap number, the entire next day's slate counts, so you can go over the soft cap of 22, making the hard cap about +7 of our set number.

3. Waiver Wire: Currently waivers is "Move to Last After Claim, Never Reset Order." Free Agents are exacty that, free for the taking I believe.

I've been wanting to try ESPN's Free Agent Auction which gives each team $100 to use throughout the season to do blind auctions for free agents. "Simply put, FAAB is an in-season salary cap that covers all your free-agent needs." I love the concept but am only using it in one league this season for football. I'd want to try it but don't know if anyone else would be up for it. How FAAB works.

4. Anything else? Payouts for next year's winner, additional rule changes, administrative details?

[Update 10.12.2010] #1 and #2 were instituted, meaning lineup changes are now daily and the soft cap for games played limit per week is now 22 games, assuming a normal seven day matchup.

Draft Day Manifesto

2010-09-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

"Matthew Berry will tell you that you can win your league with the help of four simple words: "point guards" and "power forwards." Of course, there are plenty of other successful draft strategies, but the "point guards/power forwards" philosophy is one that has worked for me for years, and I'm not about to abandon it now.

For the uninitiated, the point guards/power forwards strategy is fairly simple and straightforward, but to simplify the name of the strategy, it's all about what one of our editors calls "multicategoricalicity," defined as "a player's propensity to contribute in multiple unrelated fantasy categories."

Essentially, the strategy involves loading up on guards who can score, dish, steal and hit 3-pointers (typically point guards) and big men who can score, rebound and block shots (typically power forwards). Fill around them with a few quality swingmen who can score, drain the 3 and create steals and a few centers who can bolster your rebounding and shot-blocking numbers, and you'll have yourself a well-rounded squad that can compete in categories across the board."
-More at ESPN's 2011 Fantasy Basketball Draft Kit-

2010 Championship: Kingdom Come

2010-04-07T02:42:00.000-07:00

After annihilating the competition during the regular season, suffering just one loss and one tie, the Sour Snails were heavy favorites to win the 2010 championship. While they did indeed finish out the season and prove their dominance, it wasn't easy. There were quite a few unexpected bumps during the playoffs as they barely squeaked by the Fat Jubas (tied heading into the last day), very barely beat back Half Man Half ImAsian (it took some amazing FG% and PTS numbers on Sunday, mostly from LBJ, to seal the win), almost suffered the biggest upset in SlamNation history against the Chunky Monkeys.

There was some controversy during the Finals week as the Monkeys made a clerical error and filled their lineup to the max, negating their Sunday games. Gracious as ever, Snails' owner Trieu offered to count the crucial last few games, even though going by the strict letter of the law would have ensured a victory. That set up a very exciting Sunday slate of games, which caused at least four fans to faint and another sixty sent home for overly exuberant celebrations.

The return of Chris Paul for a full week was huge to Evan's upset chances, and while he averaged nearly 10 AST per game, Paul's scoring and steals numbers were off his normal pace. What CP3's return did however was drastically reduce Snails' rookie Darren Collison's contributions, which really hurt Trieu's lineup.

Still the combination of top picks Lebron James (30.7 PTS, 9.7 REB, 7.3 AST, 1.3 STL) , Josh Smith (15 PTS, 9.7 REB, 4.7 AST, 2.3 BLK), and Gerald Wallace (15.0 PTS and 9.0 REB), flanked by Stephen Curry (19.7 PTS, 9.3 AST, 2.3 3PT, 1.3 STL) and Aaron Brooks (18.3 PTS, 7.0 AST, 2.0 3PT) proved to be too much for the Monkeys.

In the end, the Snails showed class and character and deserve every diamond on their soon to be received twelve carat championship ring. Plus one championship for the Chamberlain Conference and the Silverhawks division. This is Trieu's second SlamNation championship, and his team could be set for a huge repeat next year. Congratulations!

Let's not overlook the amazing post-season the Monkeys had however, toppling both Russell Conference division leaders, Nande ReBuRonSAN and Bayside Bombardiers in consecutive weeks. In the end, they lost 3-5-1, tying 3PT, winning the crucial STL category, and coming up just short in FG%. They proved that just getting into the playoffs gives any team a chance for success. Late in the season, coach Evan had all but given up on his playoff chances but he slipped in and pulled off a Butler-like run to the Finals.

In the end, the Monkeys were outdone by poor shooting. Trevor Ariza (7.0 PTS, 25 FG%), Rasual Butler (11.0 PTS, 34.0 FG%), Andrea Bargnani (19.5 PTS, 39.4 FG%), and Chris Paul (10.8 PTS, 42.2 FG%). Only Brandon Roy shot the ball well, with 18.0 PTS on 46.2 FG%. Strangely, Trieu had LBJ and Curry shooting over twenty shots a game but at only 47.1 FG% and 38.3 FG% respectively, which means the other guys really stepped up their accuracy during the championship week, burying open shots as James and Curry drew defenders away. Nets' rookie Terrence Williams was especially potent, hitting about half his shots on fourteen attempts per game. Williams for MVP?

Let's talk about Trieu the general manager. While we were skeptical of his draft, Trieu proved all the analysts wrong by taking the right people and focusing on an incredible small ball team that could also compete in REB and BLK. And what about the fifth round selection of Stephen Curry, a Nostradamus-like move. At that point in the draft, no rookies had been taken yet but Trieu had the foresight to tag Curry ahead of Brandon Jennings, Tyreke Evans, and Blake Griffin. Over the playoff run, Curry averaged 20.4 PTS 7.5 AST, 4.5 REB, 2.8 3PT, and 1.9 STL, becoming the second offensive option and perfectly complementing Lebron. Add in the contributions of fellow rookies Chris Douglas-Roberts, Dejuan Blair, Darren Collision, and the aforementioned Terrence Williams and it's safe to say that Trieu has an eye for young talent.

Heck, he won the entire thing despite carrying just one center eligible player into the playoffs, sophomore Clippers big man DeAndre Jordan, who had almost 7 PTS/REB and 1 BLK per game. Okay, I'm just gushing at this point. Needless to say, Trieu had the Midas touch this season and we're looking forward to his continued success in future years. The Sour Snails are at the top of the heap and have the youth and talent to stay there, not to mention the rights to Lebron James for infinity!

2010 Toilet Bowl: The Golden Ticket

2010-04-06T01:51:00.000-07:00

Despite a big slide at the end of the regular season and falling out of the playoffs, Thien really pulled his game together and ended up with a great consolidation prize: the number one overall pick in next year's draft. While he started off the playoffs a little slow, he picked up steam and dispatched his opponents 5-4, 6-2-1, and 7-2. The Toilet Bowl Finals versus Buffy looked like it might be tough matchup on paper, especially missing franchise center Andrew Bynum, but Thien's team handily won REB and BLK, along with just about everything else.

Roger's team had Marc Gasol and Randy Foye ailing, but Tim Duncan, Lamar Odom, Mehmet Okur, Carlos Boozer, and Danny Granger all had pretty full schedules. Buffy's deep squad came out of the gates stumbling and never recovered, opening the door for a pounding at the hands of the Golden Dragons / Hot Gems / Golden One (Thien changed his name during each week of the playoffs in an effort to sell more merchandise, savvy).

Leading the way for Golden One was Dwayne Wade (30.7 PTS, 6.7 REB, 4.3 AST, 1.7 STL, 1.0 BLK during the week), who gave everything he had during the season, avoided the injury list, and produced like the ultra superstar that he is. Co-captain Paul Pierce contributed mightily with an all around effort, notching 19 PTS and nearly 5 REB/AST per game. And while Mike Miller, Al Harrington, and Raymond Felton may not strike immediate fear into opposing fans, they all came through in dream fashion, contributing 3PT, STL, and AST across the board. And a special prize must go to Chris Kaman, who dominated the inside with 18.8 PTS, 12.5 REB, and 1.5 BLK over his past four games.

With this Toilet Bowl championship, Thien's team will be guaranteed a great player next season and will likely do better than this year's 9-9 record. Amazing job Golden Gem Dragons!

As a side note, with Trieu and Thien both winning during the playoffs, this must be the most successful GM sibling pair in league history. It's as if John and Jim Paxson had both collected championships during their front office tenures. Mama must be so proud of her boys! And insiders say that their older brother, Tony, is no slouch in the basketball department either. Triple threat!

Toilet Bowl Finals

2010-03-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

#5 Hot Gems (9-9) vs #6 LA Buffy
The race is on for the number one pick next year. Recent hauls at the number one position have included Kevin Durant and Michael Beasley, with Durant vaulting the Sour Snails from a worst-to-first championship in 2007-2008. So this Toilet Bowl could have huge implications as the early clear prize is Kentucky's John Wall, a franchise caliber point guard. Of course, second prize might not be too bad either, as forward Ohio State's Evan Turner is a potential do-everything type fantasy player. So who will be competing for the honor of selecting first? It looks like it'll be Roger's Buffy from the Chamberlain Conference and Thiens' Hot Gems from the Russells.

After neatly disposing of non-contender Jedi Knights in RD1, Buffy faced division foe (and higher seeded despite the same record) Squirtle Squad. The Squirtles took out league weakling Fobstars easily but ran out of steam against Buffy, losing 2-6-1 as Shaun Livingston made an appearance for one game. Shaun Livingston! With Danny Granger heating up big time, Roger's team is poised for a Toilet Bowl win, one that could land them the perfect piece to go along their enviable big man lineup of Tim Duncan, Carlos Boozer, Lamar Odom, Marc Gasol, and Mehmet Okur. While old vet Andre Miller has been more than serviceable, getting a young stud like Wall could really top off an up and down season for Buffy.

Don't start the parade yet though, because the Hot Gems have patched things together after collapsing over the last few weeks of the regular season. Instead of being in the playoffs, the Gems slip slopped into the Toilet Bowl (allowing the Chunky Monkeys to sneak in and be on their Cinderella ride to the Finals) and barely dispatched the Human Amoebas and Funk Coalition. And they weren't pretty victories either, as they won by 3 PTS in their matchup against the putrid Amoebas and barely squeaked by the horrendous Funk. Led by Dwayne Wade and Paul Pierce, the former Golden Dragons are a little thin across the board and could be primed for an upset. A 26 PTS, 17 REB outburst by Al Harrington gave Thien's team the early week lead but there's still a lot of games to go. The big man duo of Chris Kaman and Theo Ratliff will really have to work the boards and protect the rim if Gems wants to win.

The good news for these two teams is that both Wall and Turner are slated to be superstars. While getting a point guard is priority one for both squads, I doubt Turner would be a bad consolidation prize. The 2011 Draft is shaping up to be Durant-Oden Part II so it'll be exciting to see who escapes with the first overall pick. Congrats to Hot Gems and Buffy for making it to the Toilet Bowl finals!

Championship Preview

2010-03-30T19:20:00.000-07:00

#1 Sour Snails (16-1-1) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (9-9)
With both teams emerging out of a fast and furious finish from the previous week, the dust settled (just barely) on Sunday night. By the time midnight rolled around, it was the Chunky Monkeys versus the Sour Snails. With both teams relatively healthy (the Monkeys are missing Harden and Chandler) while the Snails are missing Josh Howard, this will be a clash of the titan (and non-titan in the case of the Monkeys).

This match-up is a juxtaposition of opposites.

1 vs. 2. It features the first and second overall pick in Lebron James -- who's been in a stratosphere by himself this year and the incomparable CP3 -- a potential bust who's missed a large portion of this season with a serious knee injury.
Perfect vs Perfect. 100% on Calc AB vs 100% on Calc AB (this is a private matter between Trieu and Evan)
1 vs. 8. Mostly importantly It features the first seed and the 8th seed. The Snails, who by and large cruised to one of the most dominant seasons in history, have been the run-away favorites all season. WIth the exception of a mid-season, asterisk highlighted all-star week loss to Buffy, the Snails never lost a game all season. Headlined by the ridiculous LBJ, the Snails feature athletic freaks like Crash, J-Smoove and unbelievable young funs including Steph Curry, Aaron Brooks, Darren Collison. Honestly, the team doesn't need much else. The question is whether the young bucks can keep it up for this last week. There are signs of slow down in Brooks, Collison is losing minutes to CP3 and Steph Curry has been undoubtedly knicked up these last several weeks.

On the other side of the table, the Monkeys limped in to the playoffs with little expectations. In fact, team brass, with CP3 out with a knee injury, basically admitted defeat mid-season with the trade of Danny Granger and Memo Okur for the then-injured BRoy and young but unproven talent like Wilson Chandler and Channing Frye. However, with some luck (Thien's team suffered an unimaginable choke-job from a 5-game slide) and some timely wins, the Monkeys found themselves as the final seed of the playoffs.

There are a few underlying stories in this matchup. This is expected to be Chris Paul's first full week back at full strength (as illustrated by his 15 point and 13 dimes effort last night). However, the counter to this is that the Snail's super sleeper Darren Collison has taken a big hit to his PT. While Collison has still been filling up the stat-sheet, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out. The Monkeys have had a few players step up in recent weeks including new starters, Jrue Holiday (thanks to doghouse bound Lou Williams) and Channing Frye (freak injury to Robin Lopez) while Snail stars Aaron Brooks J-Smoove have hit a bit of a rut.

That said, this is still a classic David and Goliath matchup. The mighty Snails are the unquestioned Goliaths. The Monkeys aren't even quite David's at this point. They are David's puny younger brother. The Monkeys will need their two captains in CP3 and BRoy7 to play like all-stars to have a chance. The Snails have 4-5 all-stars on their rosters alone so the Monkeys will need their entire lineup to step up if they are to have a chance.

[Editor's note] Both teams have been in the Finals before, with a similarly outmatched squad (on paper) from Season 1 for the Monkeys and a winning season from the Snails in Season 2. Back in 2008, they even met in the playoffs for a round. Is this the biggest rivalry in SlamNation? Let's find out who wins first eh?

Playoffs: Conference Finals

2010-03-24T02:27:00.000-07:00

CHAMBERLAIN CONFERENCE
#1 Sour Snails (16-1-1) vs #3 Half Man Half ImAsian (11-7)
There was almost a major upset in SlamNation as the Sour Snails were tied with Fat Jubas heading into the last day of games. As it was, they barely won the 3PT, STL and BLK categories. Only a combined seven threes by Lebron James, Steph Curry, and Danilo Gallinari (plus a huge game winning block by LBJ in the closing seconds) enabled the Snails to move ahead. Whew, disaster averted! It must be troubling that the Snails were taken to the wire but the Jubas always play them tough so maybe their toughest competition is over.

Then again, they face a successful Cinderella this week as Half Man Half Amazing took down number two seed Korea! Korea! without breaking a sweat, neatly capturing six categories by a wide margin. It didn't help that Dwight Howard only played two games for Korea! and was outblocked 10 to 5 by JaVale McGee. The only players who remotely showed up to play for Steve's team was Manu Ginobili and Vince Carter, and they couldn't fend off an explosive Kevin Durant and Troy Murphy.

So what now? Do the Snails recover from a scare or do they have another unexpected fight on their hands? In their one regular season matchup, Trieu defeated Oliver 5-4 but by pretty wide margins in all the categories. They should dominate all the small ball categories and then it's up to REB and BLK to determine the winner. If McGee and Murphy keep throwing up double doubles for Half Man Half Asian, the Snails might be in trouble. And ho shit, what about Drew Gooden's 26 point 20 rebound effort on Tuesday night? Only to be somewhat offset by Gerald Wallace's 17-19. And what about Kevin Durant's 45 points on Monday? King James, Trieu needs you to power him into the Finals! This could be a real battle and both teams have their stars going a near full schedule. This is the marquee matchup of the week for sure.

RUSSELL CONFERENCE
#2 Bayside Bombardiers (11-7) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (9-9)
Talking about upsets, the Monkeys pulled one off while the Bombardiers narrowly avoided falling victim to one. Let's start with the Monkeys, who cruised to a big upset over Nande by carrying their end of regular season momentum into the playoffs. As Mikey's team got decimated by injuries --six players felled, prompting him to ask for help from the league office to fill out games played -- Evan's squad took advantage behind Trevor Ariza (9 STL, 13 AST), Jrue Holiday (5 3PT, 8 STL, 18 AST), and Channing Frye (7 3PT). That's right, the stars of this team were nowhere to be found but Brandon Roy, Andrea Bargnani, and hypothetically Chris Paul will need to step up if they want to defeat the Bombardiers. Toppling a one seed was hard but they'll need more to do it again.

We saw Pierre's team as a potential upset victim because their #2 versus #3 seed matchup was a bit of a misnomer but they dispatched 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps through a hard fought week of 30+ games for each team. They squeaked out wins in 3PT and TO, while tying REB, on the way to a 5-3-1 victory. They have Pau Gasol, David West, and Jamal Crawford all playing well and Mo Williams returned for some big numbers. Center Samuel Dalembert is averaging nearly a double double with two blocks per game and if he can keep it up, he'll be a big reason for the Bombardiers' playoff success.

Generally speaking, this is a classic small ball versus big ball matchup. The Bombardiers are loaded inside while the Monkeys have smooth shooters as their big men. As it stands now, the fight could be over AST since the Monkeys are a little light in that department without CP3 at full strength. One of these teams will barely lose the PTS or TO category and that could be the cause of their defeat. This is going to be an intriguing matchup and the outcome could hinge on Paul returning for major minutes as soon as possible. Who will represent the Russells in the Finals? We can't tell either!

Playoff Preview RD1: Chamberlain Conference

2010-03-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

PLAYOFFS
#1 Sour Snails (16-1-1) vs #4 Fat Jubas (9-8-1)
When the Jubas walk out on to the floor each night, the run into Lebron James, Josh Smith, Stephen Curry, Aaron Brooks, Gerald Wallace and recent super-star Darren Collison. OMG is probably the right term here. There's a reason why the Snails are the top dogs. GM Trieu built a developed a ridiculous team. Led by LBJ, J-Smoove and Crash - the top 3 picks have all performed like first rounders. Then add on super rooks Stephen Curry and Most-Improved Player Aaron Brooks - you got yourself the best starting 5 this side of the CBA (what great wall?? we have sour snails here!) For the Jubas, its a rock solid team led by a group of veterans. Their heyday was probably the 92 Olympics but the Jubas are no slouch. They gave the Snails a run for their money in their last match up. However, this is the playoffs. Look for the Snails to cruise on by the Jubas.

#2 Ko-re-a! (12-6) vs #3 Half Man Half ImAsian (11-7)
A great matchup featuring two rock solid teams. The Halfies are led by super stud KD and solid complementary players. Players like Russell Westbrook, Rip Hamilton, Andrew Bogut, and Kirk Hinrich might not strike fear for anyone but together, this team plays extremely well. Extremely balanced with no overt weaknesses, the team has had a solid run this season. The Korean crazed KO-RE-A! team, its about the wily vets. Outside of Dwight Howard, KOREA features Jason Kidd, Manu Ginobily, Vinsanity, Antawn Jamison and J-Rich. All 5 have performed extremely well this season - so much for those creaky knees. Even Big Z and Yao Ming are on the roster! Wow. This match up will be a toss up ... but we see KO-RE-A pulling this one out.

TOILET BOWL
#6 LA Buffy (8-10) vs #7 Jedi Knights (4-12-2)
Disappointment. There's no other way to describe the Buffy season. After a draft centered around veterans like Tim Duncan and Elton Brand, Buffy was projected to be a solid playoff team with unparalleled leadership. Roger then decided to further bolster the current line up by moving Brandon Roy and a few high flying projects for Danny Granger, Memo Okur and the magician, Randy Foye (because he disappeared so fast). While the team has had some wins including a monster season by Boozer, the roster has been very up and down. The Buffy is now focused clearly on winning the rights to John Wall/Evan Turner. On the flipside, the Jedi Knights have just had a very disappointing year. Besides the German bomber in Dirk Nowitzki, the team has had very little support on its roster. High risk, high reward players like Jose Calderon and Ronnie Brewer were really just high risk. The team does have a decent core of 3-4 solid keepers but will certainly look to rebuild next year. We look for Buffy to move on to the next round in this one.

#5 Squirtle Squad (8-10) vs #8 Fobstars (4-13-1)
Despite the presence of a few stars including Melo, ROY candidate Tyreke Evans, and newly acquired Joe Johnson, Squirtle couldn't find enough consistency to make the playoffs. Anthony Randolph turned out to be a bust, so did Blake Griffin and Baron Davis. Guys will be back but all next year. This will definitely be a team to watch next year once everything gets healthy. On the other side, the Fobstars are really just fobs and not so much stars. There are some good pieces here like Chris Bosh, Chauncey Billups, Rashard Lewis and Zach Randolph but the team will really look to rebuild this off- season. Age will be an issue so look for the team to look closely at the rookie crop next year. Melo, alone, might be too much for Fobstar - add on Ty-Ty and JJ, its all over. Squirtle moves on to the next round!

Playoff Preview RD1: Russell Conference

2010-03-15T17:45:00.001-07:00

PLAYOFFS
#1 Nande? ReBuRonSAN (13-5) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (9-9)
Nande has throttled the competition this year despite losing their first round pick, Gilbert Arenas, for the year. Having won four of their last five games, GM Mikey has shown that it's not just about the players but the man behind the scenes that make wins happen. The Monkeys have picked up steam by winning three of their last four and snuck into the playoffs on the heels of Hot Gems' epic collapse. While it would appear this matchup should favor Nande, the two teams have been playing even recently -- even if Nande won both regular season meetings handily. Nande will win REB, BLK, and PTS. They will lose FG%, FT%, and TO. So it comes down to 3PT, AST, and STL between these two teams. For the Monkeys that means Trevor Ariza might be the key here while Steven Jackson and Ron Artest would be needed to pace Nande in the STL and 3PT departments. Bigger question: Will Chris Paul return for a game or two? That could be Evan's best chance at an upset.

#2 Bayside Bombardiers (11-7) vs #3 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (12-6)
The Bombardiers are limping into the playoffs a bit as they've suffered four losses in the last six weeks. Their two wins have been against non-playoff competition and they are quite far away from their undefeated January. Jose's Heffalumps actually have a better record than the Bombardiers but since they didn't win their division, they'll be playing an away week. The Heffas have been on absolute fire recently, with six straight wins before dropping one in the last week of the season. They have Kobe Bryant and Kevin Martin playing at full strength, and Jason Terry returns from losing an eye mid-week. Pierre's team will need everyone to step it up a few notches. A few more 40+ point nights from Luis Scola certainly wouldn't hurt. (Which shocked you more? Scola's 44 or Andre Miller's 52?) Unless Bayside has some more fight in them, we foresee a not so upset upset special here...

TOILET BOWL
#5 Hot Gems (9-9) vs #8 Human Amoebas (3-15)
The story heading into the back half of the season has to be the Gems (formerly the Golden Dragons) collapse into the Toilet Bowl. Just six weeks ago we said they were the third best team in the league. Five losses in six games later and they are playing for a top draft pick. What the hell happened? We can't tell because Dwayne Wade has been outrageous and it's not like there were too many injuries that befell this team. Unless you think losing The Truth for a few games really hurt Thien's team that much. As for upset candidate Human Amoebas, center Andray Blatche has been a revelation (24.5 PTS, 9.9 REB, 1.4 STL, 1.1 BLK) in his last fourteen games. With Monta Ellis back, the Amoebas could surprise. Of course, they lost to the Hot Gems 7-2 last week, but while playing eight less games. Can coach Eric-A steer his team to a big win this week?

#6 Morrie's Pogiboys (7-11) vs #7 Funk Coalition (5-12-1)
This one looks like a blowout. The Pogiboys have won five of their last six and have been on a tear. They waxed the Funk a few weeks ago and it doesn't look like they'll have a more difficult time in this matchup. Jon's team is on a four game slide and has lost Tony Parker for the fantasy season, center Joakim Noah is still out, and the trade for Al Jefferson was definitely a short term loss. Meanwhile, Alvin's team has Amare Stoudemire and Devin Harris (finally) playing like franchise guys and Hornet's shooting guard Marcus Thornton has added much needed scoring punch to the backcourt. Welcome to the second round of the Toilet Bowl Pogiboys.

Final Standings 2010

2010-03-15T17:11:00.001-07:00

Congratulations on a great first season! Here's the link for the expanded final season standings as well as season stats. Also, final locked rosters.

Rule Addendums

2010-03-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

To clarify issues, some additional rules:

Roster locks occur before the first game of the playoffs, and then trades re-open post-Finals and up to the following year's draft. You own your entire roster until it's time to announce keepers (date to be determined).
No waiver wire transactions can occur after the roster lock date, even though technically you could submit that transaction before the date. Waivers need to be fully processed before the lock day.
If a player is on Injured Reserve when the roster lock happens, you cannot use him for the rest of the playoffs and Toilet Bowl.
Playoff seeding goes like this: Division winners are #1 and #2 and for both the playoffs and Toilet Bowl, teams compete in their own conference first before the big Russell vs Chamberlain face off in the last week.
Next year's Waiver Order will be reconsidered. In 2010 we did it #1-12 by initial draft order but it should be rediscussed again.
Any post-game scoring changes will be adjusted and upheld by the ESPN system.

Playoff Tie-Breaker System

2010-03-10T18:15:00.001-08:00

Power Rankings are basically rankings off of win-loss record. Tie-breakers differ depending on what you're trying to break (division rank, wildcard, overall, etc). If three or more teams are tied, H2H winning %'s among tied teams are used to break ONE team out of the tie. Then the tiebreaks reset for the remaining tied teams.

Overall Power Rankings (determine next season base Draft order)
1. Overall Record
2. H2H Record among tied teams. If more than 2 teams are tied, H2H winning % among all tied teams is used
3. Most Categories won for season. If H2H records are the same, the team with the most categories won among our scoring system for the year wins the tiebreak. This is similar to a weekly H2H matchup, except using category totals for the season.
4. Coin flip. If teams are still tied with number of categories won, a coin flip will be used. Specifics of the coin flip (depending on # of teams involved) will be decided at that time.

Division Rankings (to rank teams in a division to determine division champion)
1. Overall Record
2. H2H Record. If more than 2 teams are tied, H2H winning % among all tied teams is used
3. Division Record (record against divisional opponents)
4. Conference Record (record against conference opponents)
5. Most Categories won for season. If H2H, Division, Conference records are the same, the team with the most categories won among our scoring system for the year wins the tiebreak. This is similar to a weekly H2H matchup, except using category totals for the season.
6. Coin flip

Conference Rankings (to determine Wildcard participants. Excludes Division Champions from the equation)
1. Overall Record
2. H2H Record. If more than 2 teams are tied, H2H winning % among all tied teams is used.
3. Conference Record (record against conference opponents)
4. Most Categories won for season. If H2H and Conference records are the same, the team with the most categories won among our scoring system for the year wins the tiebreak. This is similar to a weekly H2H matchup, except using category totals for the season.
5. Coin flip

Playoff Tiebreaks (to determine winner of playoff matchup should a tie occur)
This can be controversial, but in the playoffs, I've always gone with ties going to the higher seed. You've earned that right over the course of the regular season.

The Next Movement

2010-02-27T07:27:00.001-08:00

Following fast on the heels of Buffy and Fat Jubas' trade, Squirtle Squad knew they had to make moves if they wanted to compete for the playoffs. All three teams are currently sitting at 7-8 and are fighting for a Chamberlain Conference wild card spot. Oliver's Half Man Half Amazing is one win up on all three but with a few more regular season weeks to go, it's still anybody's game. With competition really heating up, the Squirtles have had three solid wins over big competition but also suffered two blowout losses (including a 0-8-1 loss to Fat Jubas last week) in their last five games.

That inconsistency is the reason why Squirtles' management pulled the trigger on a huge deal: franchise forward Al Jefferson to Funk Coalition in exchange for swingman Joe Johnson. They will also exchange Nate Robinson for Arron Afflalo. Jefferson has been having a down year recovering from last season's ACL tear. Averaging just 17.1 PTS, 9.3 REB, 1.1 BLK on 49.1 FG% in sixty games, he's even been in Timberwolves' coach Kurt Rambis' dog house the last week. Darko Milicic has been getting crunch time minutes for the T-Wolves. Free Darko indeed.

Concerned about Jefferson's health whilst in the middle of the playoff hunt, GM Brian decided it was time to part ways with him to bring in a steady veteran presence. Joe Johnson, the most underrated superstar in the league, fit that description perfectly. So far this season, Johnson has solidified his winning reputation and is putting up his typical 21.8 PTS, 4.7 REB/AST, 1.1 STL, and 1.7 3PT a game. With free agency looming, Johnson is looking to cash in big this off-season but not before making a splash in the fantasy post-season. Delighted to be traded to a winning team (Funk is 5-9-1 as of this writing), Johnson didn't even bother to pack on his way out of Funktown. Johnson will be immediately inserted into the Squirtles lineup, combining with Baron Davis and Tyreke Evans to form a powerful trio. The center spot for the Squirtles will be a bit empty, with only Shaquille O'Neal and Robin Lopez manning the middle for the Squirtles, but next year they get Blake Griffin.

As for the Funk side of the trade, it was no secret that in recent weeks, GM Jon had been shopping Joe Johnson furiously in order to get some offensive help for his non-scoring front line. Jefferson and Aldridge will combine with double double machine Joakim Noah to make the frontcourt the strength of the Funk franchise.

Asked about what other players they were willing to move for, GM Jon said, "I can't reveal the other players we were targeting. That would just hurt their families and the relationship with their teams. I can say they were all power forwards but what swung the decision for us was Jefferson's youth and his shot blocking ability. Plus he's an ex-Celtic, so we had to bring him into the fold. Are we concerned about Al's injury history? Sure, but you gotta roll the dice with a once in a generation player that's been tutored individually by Kevin McHale."

Speaking of Celtics, the newest Boston resident, Nate Robinson, will give Funk some offensive spark and outside shooting to replace Johnson's contributions. Arron Afflalo has been a nice surprise this season with his outside shooting but was deemed expendable since Funk already had the other Nuggets' shooting guard on their roster, JR Smith. Rumors swirl that more deals may be in the works for the Funk, who is preparing for a long swirl in the Toilet Bowl.

The trade deadline is March 10 at 12 EST so let's hope a few more trades happen soon!

Immigrant Swap

2010-02-25T06:54:00.000-08:00

On the heels of the yesterday's huge six player trade, mover and shaker Buffy GM Roger produced yet another changing of addresses. This time, he swapped guard Beno Udrih to the Fat Jubas for forward Yi Jianlian. With both teams at 7-8 and fighting hard for a playoff spot, this is a trade that could benefit both teams. Buffy had a surplus of guards after the recent acquisition of Randy Foye so Udrih's skills were no longer needed. While the Jubas were sad to part with Yi, after some deliberation it was decided they needed another backcourt player to give rookie Jonny Flynn some competition as the third guard behind Steve Nash and Ray Allen.

A team official confided to SlamNation reporters that "Jonny was starting to get too big of a head. He thought he had that backup spot all locked up but we wanted to give him incentive to keep pushing. Next year we'll bring in Ricky Rubio and really give him a challenge!"

Udrih has put up 12 PTS, 3.2 AST and almost one 3PT/STL a game over his last six games. Since the NBA trade deadline he's shown that getting solid minutes could lead to useful production, as evidenced by a 25 PTS, 4 AST, 2 STL game recently. With Kevin Martin gone, it looks like Udrih is in line for thirty minutes a night.

Meanwhile, Yi "The Chairman" Jianlian is averaging 8.2 PTS and 5.2 REB over that same span. He's been injured, a little worn down from carrying the mantle of "best Chinese player in the NBA" this season, and sick of New Jersey. A change of scenery to Buffyland should help him fuel up on dumplings and give him a reason to play hard. Yi has been starting most of the season and has had flashes of success. More dumplings will surely give his stats a positive jolt.

In related news, Buffy's season ticket sales just increased significantly. Five hundred Chinese fans bought tickets after the trade and six Slovenian family canceled theirs.

Boom Goes the Dynamite

2010-02-23T19:12:00.000-08:00

Three weeks. That was how long Danny Granger was a Chunky Monkey. Granger barely got to get meet his teammates before he got the news of his being traded. Earlier this morning, SlamNation league officials received word that a blockbuster trade between the Chunky Monkeys and Buffy had been signed and delivered. The mega-deal sends Danny Granger, Mehmet Okur and Randy Foye to Buffy in return for Brandon Roy, Wilson Chandler, and Channing Frye.

The Monkeys press office issued a statement following the deal. " We want to thank Danny Granger for all his hard work while he was here. Danny was a great leader both off and on the court while he was here. We wish him the best. However, through this deal, we had the opportunity to trade for someone who we consider as one of the top guards in the game in Brandon Roy. Brandon will pair with CP3 to form what we believe will be the best backcourt in the land. Also the chance to bring over Channing (Frye) and (Wilson) Chandler were unique opportunities. Our coaching staff is a big fan of their game and believe their will be long term cornerstone players for us."

According to ESPN Fantasy Analyst, Matthew Berry, "...Roy will be an incredible pairing with CP3. They should be a dynamic duo to watch - if they are healthy at the same time. Wilson Chandler should also immediately see starting time in the lineup and will likely play the SF position for the Monkeys. As for Channing Frye, he'll likely serve as back up to Bargnani. I predict he'll get spot duty for the rest of the year. If he plays well, plan to see him as one of the 6 keepers for the Monkeys next year. With the injury to Paul, it was clear that the Monkeys had started eyeing next year. If anything, they will be a force in the post season once everyone heals up. Whether they are playing in the John Wall bowl or for a title, expect the Monkeys to make some noise in the post-season.

As for Buffy, Granger provides a dynamic big man that does many things well. Foye and Okur will immediately play starting positions as well. The trade gives the team an immediate shot in the arm for the team as Buffy looks to make a deep playoff run. They somehow managed to topple Sour Snails last week so an opportunity to acquire immediate firepower may have been too good to pass up."

The Best and the Brightest

2010-02-13T01:08:00.000-08:00

Here we are, the 2010 SlamNation All-Stars! Chosen by the commish, we had league voting for the last two spots on each team and the players on these squads can't be questionned. The selection criteria was: who contributed to winning teams. That's slightly different than how the NBA does it but as you'll see, it'll give a better idea of what players have been most instrumental to their teams success. The top two teams in each conference got two representatives each, and we tried to get an All-Star from every squad.

Some snubs? How about Troy Murphy, Tim Duncan, Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Smith, Derrick Rose, Joe Johnson, Rudy Gay, or Jamal Crawford? There just wasn't enough room for everyone to make it, and tie went to the teams with better records. If you have three wins, you shouldn't have two All-Stars, right?

So which All-Star team would win in an actual game? Well, the Chamberlain Conference is particularly big man heavy, while the Russell Conference has a much more balanced squad. Despite hailing from the Russell Conference, I'll go ahead and say the Chamberlains would win, 121-114. Also, is LBJ having the most well rounded fantasy season ever? Geezes.

RUSSELL CONFERENCE
Starters:
G Dwayne Wade (Dragons) - 26.5 PTS, 6.5 AST, 1.9 STL, 1.1 BLK
G Stephen Jackson (Nande) - 17.1 PTS, 7.0 REB, 5.7 AST, 1.3 3PT, 1.9 STL
F David West (Bayside) - 18.1 PTS, 7.5 REB, 0.8 STL/BLK
F Pau Gasol (Bayside) - 17.2 PTS, 11.2 REB, 1.8 BLK, 52.4 FG%
C Chris Kaman (Dragons) - 20.0 PTS, 8.9 REB, 1.3 BLK

Reserves:
G Kobe Bryant (100 Acre) - 28.0 PTS, 5.3 REB, 4.6 AST, 1.4 3PT, 1.7 STL
G Rajon Rondo (100 Acre) - 14.3 PTS, 9.7 AST, 2.5 STL, 52.9 FG%
G Deron Williams (Funk) - 18.6 PTS, 9.8 AST, 1.2 3PT
G Monta Ellis (Amoebas) - 26.2 PTS, 4.2 REB, 5.4 AST, 2.2 STL
F Corey Maggette (Nande) - 20.8 PTS, 6.1 REB, 51.9 FG%, 7.3/8.7 FT
F Andrea Bargnani (Monkeys) - 17.6 PTS, 6.2 REB, 1.6 3PT, 1.4 BLK
C Amare Stoudemire (Pogiboys) - 21.2 PTS, 8.6 REB, 1.0 BLK, 55.5 FG%

CHAMBERLAIN CONFERENCE
Starters:
G Steve Nash (Jubas) - 18.3 PTS, 11.1 AST, 1.8 3PT, 51.9 FG%
G Brandon Roy (Buffy) - 23.1 PTS, 4.6 REB, 5.0 AST, 1.4 3PT
F Lebron James (Snails) - 29.9 PTS, 7.1 REB, 8.3 AST, 1.9 3PT, 1.6 STL, 1.0 BLK, 50.6 FG%
F Kevin Durant (Half Man) - 29.7 PTS, 7.4 REB, 1.5 3PT, 1.4 STL, 48.5 FG%
C Dwight Howard (Korea) - 18.0 PTS, 13.3 REB, 2.7 BLK, 60.3 FG%

Reserves:
F Gerald Wallace (Snails) - 18.8 PTS, 10.9 REB, 1.6 STL, 1.2 BLK
F Zach Randolph (Fob Stars) - 20.5 PTS, 11.6 REB, 0.9 STL
F Chris Bosh (Fob Stars) - 24.4 PTS, 11.4 REB, 1.0 BLK, 52.6 FG%
F Antawn Jamison (Korea) - 20.5 PTS, 8.8 REB, 1.4 3PT
F Carmelo Anthony (Squirtle) - 29.2 PTS, 6.4 REB, 1.3 STL, 46.3 FG%
C Brook Lopez (Jubas) - 18.8 PTS, 9.0 REB, 1.9 BLK, 50.5 FG%
C David Lee (Jedis) - 20.0 PTS, 11.4 REB, 1.0 STL, 55.7 FG%

Power Rankings

2010-01-31T13:25:00.000-08:00

Our very first power rankings. There are a lot of teams doing poorly with only a handful of good teams. Hey, just like the real NBA! Time for trades?
-- I noted the divisions so that we could get an idea of how each one is doing (SH = Silverhawks, TC = Thundercats, etc).

Sour Snails (11-0, SH) - Eleven wins in a row, seven games up in their division. The Snails are dominating this regular season like the 95-96 Bulls. Is it time to rest the starters?
Nande? ReBuRonSAN (9-2, TC) - Eight wins in a row and hot to trot. Losing Arenas will hurt but how much? The most active owner in the game will keep the team focused on the big picture.
Golden Dragon (7-4, VT) - An impressive six wins in a row, with an outstanding front line pulling the weight. Everyone is healthy, clicking, and playing well.
Bayside Bombardiers (8-3, VT) - Four wins in a row but the loss of Mo Williams hurts just a tiny bit. Sixth man of the year candidate Jamal Crawford has been terrific.
Half Man Half ImAsian (6-5, TF) - With three straight wins and hot on the heels of Korea! for the division lead, Kevin Durant is pushing this team toward a playoff spot.
Korea! Korea! (8-3, TF) - With three losses in their last four games, and their one win by a fraction of a FG%, is Korea in trouble? I'd say "yes." Rush back Yao!
Chunky Monkeys (5-6, TC) - Picked on the dregs of the league for four straight wins. Moving Monta Ellis for Danny Granger really shook things up and we see exciting weeks ahead.
100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (6-5, TC) - Recent dip in standings is curious as everyone was basically playing the same. With Kevin Martin back on board, look for the ship to steady.
Squirtle Squad (5-6, TF) - Three wins to start the season, three straight losses, and another three loss streak after that. This is the ultimate hot and cold team. No Blake Griffin this year hurts doesn't it?
Fob Stars (4-7, SH) - After starting off 2-5, the Fobs have been marginally better of late. Zach Randolph has been an absolute beast. Only two games out of wildcard contention gives them a sense of purpose.
Buffy (5-6, TF) - Three losses in a row and Michael Redd out for the season. Carlos Boozer is iffy now too, and this team is headed in the wrong direction.
Fat Jubas (4-7, SH) - In a state of collapse with four losses in their last five games. Steve Nash and Brook Lopez can't do it all and they've had no support.
Jedi Knights (3-7-1, SH) - No losses in their first three weeks and then 1-7 afterwards. Ouch. Hey, at least David Lee is an All-Star! Oh wait. Maybe making a waiver wire pickup might help? Zero so far on the season.
MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-9, VT) - A four and five game losing streak so far this season. They've faced four top teams in a row though so we'll cut them some slack.
Funk Coalition (2-8-1, TC) - A six game losing streak finally ended two weeks ago. Tony Parker just went down for a few. Is another losing streak about to start?
Human Amoebas (2-9, VT) - Seven losses in a row and not a close game in the bunch. They needed to make moves and did, acquiring Monta Ellis for Danny Granger, who had been hurt for weeks. There's nowhere to go but up for this team.

The Right Way

2010-01-30T16:31:00.000-08:00

Alright, we've taken a good hard look at some failing teams, why don't we celebrate some teams that are doing it right and getting it done? First up, there's a battle at the top of the Voltron Division between Bayside Bombadiers and Golden Dragon. Only one game separates them and they've been on winning streaks of four and six games respectively. Both of them are playing extremely well obviously but who will win the division? And after that, let's look at the best team in the Russell Conference, the Thundercats' division leader, Nande? ReBuRonSAN (who I'll refer to as "Nande" because I have no idea what the rest of that all means), who is on an astounding eight game winning streak!

Bayside Bombardiers (8-3)
Oh yes, Pierre's team is very good, as evidenced by the fact that two of their three losses have come against the Sour Snails and Korea! Korea!, who were the juggernauts of the early season. Their one other loss was a semi-flukey one to the 2-9 Pogiboys. Our preseason analysis called this team "the second bananas" for their lack of franchise players. Well, who cares? They've proven to be balanced, deep at every position, and Luol Deng has more than shored up the previously questionable small forward spot.

Overall, this team has had a very steady lineup, and have only used three waiver wire pickups all season, proving that it's not about quantity, but quality. In fact, they've had ten players log 20+ games for them, and only injuries to Pau Gasol, Jameer Nelson, and now Mo Williams have forced them to go to the reserves.

The great balance on this team is epitomized by not having any 20+ PTS guys yet ranking third overall in PTS. Quite a feat. The top ten guys on this squad all score in the mid to high teens, making any one of them hot on a given night. The starting lineup of Allen Iverson, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng (17.7 PTS, 7.3 REB, 1 STL/BLK), David West, and Pau Gasol (17 PTS, 11 REB, 1.6 BLK) provide a little bit of everything and when top sixth man Jamal Crawford comes off the bench, along with hard nosed revelation, Carl Landry, there's no drop off. Mix in Jameer Nelson, Luis Scola's yeoman efforts, and the occasional Samuel Dalembert appearance (12.2 REB, 2.7 BLK last month) and this team is well positioned for a great second half. Losing Mo Williams does hurt, as he was quietly having a very good year (17 PTS, 5 AST, 1.2 STL, 2.3 3PT), but the Bombardiers should be fine.

Areas of concern? Well, the Bombardiers are great in FG% and PTS but have some significant weaknesses too. They rank very close to last in the league in FT%, AST, 3PT, and STL. For a team that has been cruising through the regular season, that is a bit of a surprise but as Pierre proves, it's not about the numbers or the stars, it's about the wins.

Golden Dragon (7-4)
After coming out of the gates with only one win in five tries, we were a little worried about the Dragons. Well, turns out they were just coming out of hibernation and a bit sluggish. They've recently ripped off six straight wins and feasted on the competition. Their decision to go with Dwayne Wade at #3 overall has been well justified, as he's averaging 27 PTS, 6 AST, 5 REB, 1.8 STL, and 1.1 3PT.

Rolling the dice with a few injury prone players was, well, dicey, but everything has been coming up aces for Thien so far. In a nice surprise, Andrew Bynum and Dwayne Wade lead the team in games played, and Chris Kaman has returned full force, averaging 20/9 with 1.2 BLK. Paired with Andrew Bynum on the blocks (17/9, 1.5 BLK), it's been quite a load down low. Kenyon Martin has been fantastic as an aggressive big off the bench, with nice rebounding numbers and a block a game. Actually, the Dragons are spectacular in blocks, as they also get one per game from SG Dwayne Wade and SF Rudy Gay.

This team does lack in the passing department, as starting PG Raymond Felton hasn't been great there, getting out-assisted by Wade. And they turn over the ball a ton, which makes them lose the TO battle most weeks. But hey, the Dragons put up points in a hurry and play a high energy style that allows them to lead the entire league in PTS. They boast five near 20+ scorers and every usable player is in double digits. The team is stacked at the forward positions, as Gay and Paul Pierce are nearly interchangeable, and Martin and Al Harrington man the PF slot providing either interior defense or outside shooting depending on the matchup.

This team can throw out a bigs lineup that is just scary featuring Wade handling the ball, flanked by Gay and Pierce, with Kaman and Bynum down low. Who can match up with that kind of height? For the past month and a half, the answer has been: Nobody! It'll be interesting to see if Thien has any moves planned as they fight for the division title against the Bombardiers.

Nande? ReBuRonSAN (9-2)
Eight wins in a row and a huge matchup with the undefeated Sour Snails in WK14 being played out right now. Nande is ripping through the competition and has defeated all the top teams on their way to the top of the Russell Conference. We've talked about how Mikey's team would be the most entertaining one to watch and it's proven to be very accurate. Sure, most of the drama has come from Gilbert Arenas but when your first round pick gets suspended indefinitely for bringing guns to the stadium and joking about shooting a teammate, you know your season is already one for the history books. Agent Zero was justifying his first round status, with 22.6 PTS, 7.2 AST, 1.3 STL and 2 3PT (albeit at 41.1 FG%) and his production will be hard to make up.

The good news is that Tracy McGrady is back! Well, for six games, and he's been promptly shelved again. In all seriousness, this team is being led into contention ex-teammates Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette. Captain Jack has spearheaded the offensive attack with 24.5 PTS, 2.3 STL, and 1.8 3PT this past month, while Maggette is at a jaw dropping 26.9 PTS, 6.9 REB and 51.4% over his past fifteen games. Serving as the glue guy is Andre Iguodala, who's been doing a bit of everything and his quick hands have been integral to helping Nande rank fourth in STL.

Ron Artest and Ben Wallace have their uses but have been disappointments for the most part, especially Artest, who's become the Lakers' version of Shane Battier. Losing Arenas will probably drop Nande out of the top 3PT rankings, so maybe we'll see some more Peja Stojakovic or Carlos Delfino (1.8 3PT each). The PF/C combo of Shawn Marion and Jermaine O'Neal would have been spectacular five years ago but is now just about average, as both guys are at around 12 PTS and 7 REB. Serviceable but nothing spectacular. The return of Kevin Love has been a huge boon as he's producing 15 PTS and 11 REB per game (and will push Nande to number one in REB soon) and only getting steadier. The big hole here is at point guard, which was already thin with just Arenas. Free agent George Hill is manning the position but he won't do and we're looking for Mikey to make a deal for a floor general soon.

Just looking at their roster, Nande doesn't seem like they should be whipping everyone in the league. But let's not overlook one thing: The role of the coach and GM, Mikey. Let's look at some numbers. While Nande's top nine guys have each played at least 30 games each, there have also been another 19 guys who have logged at least one game. With a league leading moves count of 29, Mikey is showing the league how to be a stellar owner and we're delighted he's kicking ass. Action equals success, inaction equals fail! With a three game lead in their division, look for Nande to cruise into the playoffs and continue to win with the effort of a champion.

Down and Out

2010-01-30T05:36:00.000-08:00

Here we are, almost exactly at the halfway point of the season and we've already got a few teams out of playoff contention. Well, barring miracles anyway. Welcome to our version of the New Jersey Nets everyone! The three teams below are being handed a Golden Ticket to Toilet Bowl-ville and they couldn't be more excited about it. Time to make moves!

Human Amoebas (2-9)
After starting off a respectable 2-2, the Amoebas are on a streak of seven straight losses and are five games out of a playoff spot. Basically the Amoebas are already playing for next year. With the recent blockbuster trade of the former face of their franchise, Danny Granger, what can the new look Amoebas do to prepare for the Toilet Bowl? Our pre-season review indicated that this wouldn't be the Amoebas' year anyway. GM Eric-A went young with all his picks and knew that he wouldn't be a contender this season. However, I doubt he expected things to be quite this bad.

The starting backcourt of Derrick Rose and the newly acquired Monta Ellis is the obvious strength of the team. By flipping Granger for Ellis, Eric-A was looking to cash in on Ellis' high octane game of PTS, AST, and STL. He'll lose some 3PT in the process but the thought of Rose and Ellis zipping up and down the court must have gotten Eric-A salivating. Sophomore sparkplug Eric Gordon has been an excellent sixth man, and provides good scoring and long distance shooting with high percentages. And even veteran Jarrett Jack has found new life as a starter in Toronto, averaging nearly five assists a game.

The problem for this team has been the front line. Micheal Beasley has been better in his second year, although he still hasn't broken out yet. Injuries have hurt him a little bit but he should develop into a consistent twenty point scorer soon. Losing Greg Oden for rest of the campaign hurt a lot, as his REB and BLKs were the lynchpin for the defensive frontcourt. Andray Blatche and Nenad Krstic can man the pivot but aren't exactly defensive terrors or all that impressive on the boards (below 5 REB a game each). Power forward Paul Millsap is getting almost 30 minutes a night but that's not enough to duplicate his numbers from last year. He's still averaging 12 PTS, 7.5 REB, 1 STL/BLK, but he really needs Carlos Boozer out of Utah to shine.

Courtney Lee, a seventh round pick, can't quite stay in the starting lineup, and has been highly inconsistent, he needs some more time to grow. And Hasheem Thabeet averages 1.5 BLK in only eleven minutes a game but it's doubtful he'll play well enough to be a keeper next year. Overall, the Amoebas rank very poorly in outside shooting, are last in AST, very low in PTS, REB, and STL, and are average everywhere else, except TOs, where they shine. What other moves might the Amoebas make? Building around their strong backcourt will be a start, and it's just a question of how they can pull it together for the Toilet Bowl to get a shot at a much needed big man in next year's draft.

Dr. Jack's Prescription: Patience, this team isn't built for the now, so there's no rush. The move for Monta Ellis refined a strength and further moves could do the same thing. The future can still be bright despite a cloudy present.

Funk Coalition (2-8-1)
So far the Funk have fallen flat all around. Their two wins have come against 4-7 teams, and they had a six game losing streak recently. Welcome to the Toilet Bowl! With no chance of making the playoffs, the Funk is just trying to pull it together for a high draft pick run. So much for that 7-1 divionsal record prediction eh? The good news is, well, there isn't much. The Coalition are terrible on defense, ranking last or very close to last in STL and BLK. And it's not like they can offensively compensate, ranking 15th in PTS. What are they good at then? Not turning to ball over mostly. The Funk are in the bottom half of the league in every category except TO and AST, the latter of which they are sixth, despite boasting Deron Williams' almost ten dimes per game. A team that looked really balanced on paper has sprung holes everywhere.

The biggest problem Funk faces is their lack of offensive firepower. Only Joe Johnson, who is having a typically well rounded year, is over 20+ PTS. Tony Parker, Lamarcus Aldridge, and Deron Williams are only in the high teens and rarely explode. Those three have also been injury prone, shuttling in and out of the lineup. Speaking of injuries, fifth round pick Andris Biedrins was supposed to man the middle but he's only recently started playing and is only averaging 6 PTS and 8 REB a game. His two BLK are nice, but he's rounding into shape and not getting a lot of playing time. The revelation in the front court has been Joakim Noah, who is having a breakout year and has firmly established his nightly double double status. The good news is that Aldridge, an early season disappointment, has been very good with 18 PTS and 9 REB a game as the only big left in Portland. The problem is, there's no solid frontcourt guy after Noah and Aldridge. Chris Andersen has regressed tremendously, Tyson Chandler has been injured and near useless when healthy. This team needs Biedrins bad.

To combat shooting guard JR Smith's lack of accuracy and extreme inconsistency, Jon has tried to find some waiver wire pieces to fit into the lineup. Martell Webster, Rasual Butler, and Arron Afflalo recently logged some heavy minutes for this team, and Luke Ridnour and Devin Brown both used to play in crunch time. See why the Funk have been so terrible? Injury plagued and with a roster lacking depth and the ability to put points on the board, this could be a long second half of the season for the Coalition.

Dr. Jack's Prescription: Get Biedrins back to double double status, find an explosive scoring complement to Joe Johnson, and pray for health the next few months.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-9)
After stumbling out of the gate with four straight losses, the Pogiboys had two rousing wins in a row, including a huge victory over their division leader, Bayside Bombardiers, in WK8. Things were looking good right? Well, five straight losses later and it's safe to say they're eliminated from playoff contention. It should be noted that their recent loss to Korea! Korea! was by 0.0001 in the FG% category. That's what, one missed shot? Pretty active on the waiver wire, Alvin has had an astonishing 26 players play games for them so far this season. That includes one by Goran Dragic (who?), five from Raja Bell, and ten from Juwan Howard. Go Blue!

We've covered the Pogiboys' inadequacies in this space before, so we'll leave it be for the most part. Injuries are still wreaking havoc with their lineup but they are getting healthier. Their overall play is still very up and down and there's just no offense on this team. Amare Stoudemire is at 20 PTS but after that the drop off is to Caron Butler at 16 PTS. Devin Harris has been really bad recently (12 PTS, 6.4 AST, 1.1 STL, 35.9 FG% in the past month) and Alvin needs his second round pick to start performing. Plus, this team is getting killed on the boards, with nobody averaging more than 6 REB except for Stoudemire, who's only at 7.7 a game. A bright spot for the Pogis? Um, Brandon Jennings? He's slowed down but still has growth potential right? Even if that Rookie of the Year is slipping out of his grasp...

Dr. Jack's Prescription: Keep plugging away and try to get some momentum together in time for the Toilet Bowl. The team needs a better identity but it's been difficult with everyone slumping, seemingly all at the same time.

Wheeling and Dealing

2010-01-27T16:33:00.000-08:00

The first major deal in SlamNation Part Deux was struck yesterday afternoon. In a one for one swap, the Monkeys sent budding all-star guard, Monta Ellis, to the Human Amoebas in return for former Monkey, Danny Granger. As part of the trade, the Monkeys have also agreed to send their 2nd overall pick in the 2011 Supplemental Draft to the Amoebas for their 4th round pick.

Evan, GM of the Monkeys was quoted earlier, “We wish Monta nothing but the best. He is a great player with a bright future ahead of him. He played his hearts out for us and we know he will do great with the Amoebas. This trade, however, is about Danny Granger. The deal represents a major step forward for the organization as we welcome back Danny Granger. Danny does a lot of things awfully well and I have full confidence that he will improve our team.”

ESPN Fantasy Analyst, Matthew Berry, spoke on SportsCenter earlier this morning about the deal. “This seems to be a win-win deal for both teams. Ellis will play extremely well with Derrick Rose and the two certainly will pair to be one of the best young backfields for years to come. The team just got a lot quicker. I expect the deal to increase the team’s scoring opportunities as Ellis plays well both with and off the ball. As for the Monkeys, this deal was a no-brainer. The team is familiar with Granger and his skillset. They had a logjam at the guard position and Granger gives them another genuine superstar to run with CP3. The Monkeys will look to slot either James Harden or Trevor Ariza into the shooting guard position with Granger manning the small forward slot. This will be a fun team to watch!”

Sources close to the Amoebas indicated that the original deal was potentially larger and included at least 4 players (with Rose and Bargnani as potential trade pieces). Sometimes smaller is better but something tells us that more deals are in the pipeline.

The Ecstasy and the Agony

2009-12-08T01:13:00.000-08:00

It's four weeks into our SlamNation season and after a week of heated debate and some settings snafus, we're ready to launch into the meat of the season. Let's take a look at our 4-0 and 0-4 teams. There are two of each and strangely, one per division. So without further ado, let's get it on!

Sour Snails (4-0)
Oh it's nice to have the King. I'm gonna tell you right now, the best team in the league is sitting right here. Let me wow you with some early season stats. First in three point shooting and assists. Second in blocks and steals. Third in points scored. If you're counting at home, that's five categories where the Sour Snails are elite level. So if you can't get to top three in one of those categories, you've already lost to the Snails (on paper). And how about my retarded pre-season prediction that the Snails would have "almost no chance to win any rebounding battles." They are ranked fifth in rebounds too! Gerald Wallace has been a beast at 12 REB a game, and Josh Smith is at almost nine per, with Lebron and Channing Frye chipping in six or seven apiece.

Remember how much we liked the all athlete trio of Lebron, Gerald, and Josh? Well they are combining for four plus STL and BLKs per game. Add in Corey Brewer's equally quick hands (2.0 STL) and the Snails are off the races. The real find of the early season for Trieu has been Channing Frye -- with a shout out to Chris Douglas-Roberts. The skinny "center" is averaging 2.7 3PT and almost one block and steal. Teamed up with Aaron Brooks (2.0 3PT) and Danilo Gallinari (3.0 3PT), the Snails bombs away from the perimeter. I imagine a game featuring the speedy Snails to be run and gun, full of dunks, long range shots, spectacular steals, monster weak side blocks, and many Sportscenter highlights. I'd pay premium prices to watch those games, wouldn't you? If the Snails have a chink in the armor, it's that their weaknesses are pretty distinct. They are near the bottom in both percentage categories and second to last in turnovers. But hey, you don't have to be perfect to be winners right?

Korea! Korea! (4-0)
As predicted, the Transformers have been a powerhouse division. Heading into last WK4, both Korea! and Squirtle Squad were riding 3-0 records. But Squirtle lost in a battle of undefeated teams, to Sour Snails, so we turn our laser focus onto Team Korea. We had been excited to see the team Steve put around Dwight Howard since pre-season and four weeks in, he's at the top of the charts. To nobody's surprise, the team looks a lot like the Orlando Magic -- or dare we say it, the Spurs? Team Korea is very strong on the boards and protects the rim like Fort Knox (4th in REB, 5th in BLK). Offensively, they space out the floor with excellent three point shooting while keeping their turnovers low. The Koreans are predictably terrible in FT% with Dwight and they have some problems scoring, at least statistically -- ranking 12th in PTS -- but they've won three of their four PTS category matchups so far and we attribute their scoring woes to the early season inaction of Antawn Jamison.

All those three point shots do turn into some horrific FG% sometimes because three of their top five players (Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Rodney Stuckey) are all in the low 40%. However, they are producing in other areas (Kidd and Jason Richardson both average 2+ 3PT a game) and best of all, Korea is winning with their formula. Early season surprise Erick Dampier has translated into help for Dwight on defensive end, averaging 2+ BLK a game -- in a contract year of course. All this and the road ahead looks pretty good as Manu Ginobili is making a return to action while the waiting game for Antawn Jamison has resulted in ten games worth of 20 PTS, 8.7 REB, 1.2 STL, and 1.5 3PT. So, with Steve's activity on the free agent lists and a deep roster, we see no drop off in their performance. Mothers of Korea, fire up the BBQ, your boys are in for a long and successful season.

Chunky Monkeys (0-4)
It hasn't been easy for the Monkeys so far. Their franchise player, Chris Paul, took a stumble early on and is out for another few weeks. You can't replace a fantasy superstar like CP3 so predictably, the Monkeys have been winless out of the gate. Preseason expectations had the Monkeys thriving in an uptempo small ball lineup with some rebounding power, but that hasn't turned out to be accurate. The Monkeys are purely small ball, ranking dead last in REB, BLK, and FG%. CP3 won't help in any of those categories, even as he returns. The good news is that Evan's team does have good 3PT, STL, FT%, and potentially AST when Paul is back. For a team predicated on running and gunning, their TO rate is actually pretty good at middle of the pack, which is great because their point production isn't overly high for a run and gun team.

The Monkeys almost won in WK4 versus the Fobsters but lost by a handful of blocks or one 3PT. Other than that one week, they've been run off the floor. A big problem is that the front line is not doing stellar, with Mehmet Okur and Rasheed Wallace underachieving -- an understatement in Rasheed's case. The two of them only average about twenty points combined, even if they do toss in almost three 3PT per outing. Andrea Bargnani has been really good in the early going, and is at 16.7 PTS, 6.5 REB, 1.6 3PT, and 1.1 BLK. And all those Trevor Ariza doubters? Well, he's been stellar, highlighted by his 2.2 STL and BLK per game. The great news is that Chris Paul is back and looks like a force already. And speaking of forces, Monta Ellis has been insane in his comeback year, with two 40+ point games and averages of roughly 25 PTS, 5 AST/REB, and 2.4 STL. With his top players back, Evan can look forward to a win soon. Maybe.

Morrie's Pogiboys (0-4)
It looks like an uphill climb for the Pogiboys again, but they've been here before and built their way toward a championship through good management and patience. It's not going to be easy though as the Pogiboys have some significant weaknesses. For one, thirteen is a horrifically unlucky number for them. They are ranked 13th in FG%, FT%, and STL. Add in their three 12th place rankings in PTS, REB, and TO and they are fighting hard to stay competitive each week. The good news? Well, if middle of the pack in 3PT and BLK is good news, then Alvin will take it. One thing for sure, they are lacking AST big time as they are second to last in that category. This might all sound bad but looking over their roster, the Pogiboys show a lot of promise.

A large part of their winless season so far is due to the fact that they've had to deal with injuries to Caron Butler, Devin Harris, and Tyrus Thomas. Franchise cornerstone Amare Stoudemire is treading water a bit but is still at 19 PTS, 7.8 REB, and 1.1 BLK per. What is really exciting about the Pogis is that they have Brandon Jennings, the absolute steal of the draft. Despite cooling off a bit recently, he's the clear ROY and has become the face of the franchise in Milwaukee while averaging 21.3 PTS, 5.8 AST, 2.3 3PT, and 1.1 STL. And young centers Roy Hibbert and Spencer Hawes are definitely keepers, even if they've been a little erratic. Alvin has been relying on Steve Blake and Ramon Sessions in the backcourt but that will change as Devin Harris makes his return. The mercurial Charlie Villanueva holds down the backup swingman position and could potentially get better. So there's hope here, even if most of this points to a less then stellar chance for Alvin to defend his title. But anything is possible and the season is still very young.

Update: Alvin also wanted me to note that he lost his two starting SGs to season ending injuries, Kelenna Azubuike and Raja Bell.

Draft Day Moves

2009-11-07T15:37:00.001-08:00

The end of the draft got pretty ugly, with quite a few players being picked based solely on one double digit scoring or rebounding game. I mean, who is Omri Casspi, Dahntay Jones, or Luc Mbah a Moute? This is like the worst case spelling bee NBA edition. The most mysterious player however, has to be Oleksiy Pecherov. The seven footer lit up the Celtics for 24 points earlier in the week and then gathered 9 rebounds and 2 blocks in last night's effort versus Milwaukee. But Oleksiy woke up this morning to find out that his skills were so valued he'd already been traded in SlamNation before one game had even been played. Team Moribe flipped Pecherov to Sour Snails for Mr. Irrelevant, Corey Maggette -- and didn't even give Pecherov a chance to clean out his locker.

Asked why he moved so quickly to dump Pecherov, a budding fan favorite, GM Mikey said, "We didn't want any Russians on our team. I'm pro-USA, we wanted Americans only. Plus, we have Ben Wallace and Jermaine O'Neal at the center position. That should be plenty." Informed that Pecherov was Ukrainian, Mikey shot back, "What the f***'s the difference?!" The Cold War ended twenty years ago but Team Moribe is still determined to keep America safe. Good for them.

In other draft trading news, Funk Coalition and Half Man Half ImAsian had swapped multiple draft pick positions starting with Round Seven, as the Funk dearly coveted Joakim Noah. In the end, the trade ended up looking like this: Joakim Noah, Chris Duhon, Tyson Chandler, and Francisco Garcia versus Marreese Speights, Kirk Hinrich, Anthony Parker, and Beno Udrih. SlamNation experts say GM Jon paid too much for the part time services of Noah but he insists that it was a great deal. We'll see.

(Russell Conference) Thundercats

2009-11-07T15:07:00.000-08:00

One thing's for sure with the Thundercats division, there's no Lion-O in this group. While such luminaries as Chris Paul and Kobe Bryant reside here, no one team seems to have any advantage on the other. For example, Funk Coalition has a weak front line, the Chunky Monkeys are going with a small ball lineup that could boom or bust, the Heffalumps are already reeling from a big injury, and Team Moribe might boast the most balanced lineup but is chock full of volatile personalities. This division will provide plenty of fireworks though as each team is built to run and gun with stellar point guards and lots of offensive firepower. What's missing is the big men. The best (traditional) center in this division? Um, Marcus Camby? So look for very little defense and fantasy fireworks from this group. Thundercats Ho!

Chunky Monkeys (Evan)
Interesting enough, both of the owners who lucked into the top two picks decided to go small ball with their fantasy studs. Evan was fortunate enough to have stats monster Chris Paul fall into his lap and immediately decided to draft a mini CP3, Monta Ellis (with reports indicating a bit of regret afterwards). That should be a very good offensive and steals pairing. Evan revealed his small ball strategy by going with two sweet shooting big men, Andrea Bargnani and Mehmet Okur, in Rd 3 and 4. For the fifth starter, small forward Trevor Ariza fits the bill as a (surprisingly) good scorer and an absolute monster for threes and steals. Basically he's perfect for this team and it's going to be a rare week that the Monkeys lose the STLs category.

As much as we like this starting five, the bench gets thin pretty quickly. Sixth man Leandro Barbosa is supposed to return to his former status as offensive spark plug but his minutes have dropped off with Jason Richardson back in full health. Someone will have to step up as the sixth man if Barbosa falters. Third guard Mike Conley and reserve big man Rasheed Wallace support the starters very well skill set wise but aren't overly spectacular. And the rest of the bench is very young with Net's swingman Terrence Williams just coming into his own and rookie James Harden still finding his place with the Thunder. Starvin Marvin Williams might play a big role actually as he's somehow managed to become a Shane Battier type player (almost 1/1/1). Overall the Monkeys seem ready to play small ball and dominate the AST-3PT-STL-FT% categories.

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (Jose)
This is how you build a team around Rajon Rondo. Surround him with sweet shooters and defensive minded big men. Oh wait, this is Kobe's team? What? Fine, this is Kobe's team. Rondo will just pick his pockets once in awhile, for old time's sake. With Kobe's age a concern, he slipped down to pick seven, where Jose was more than happy to pick him up. By pairing him with karmic foe Rajon Rondo, and adding shooting juggernaut Kevin Martin, any concern over Rondo's lack of scoring was eliminated. The Heffalumps will have the wide ass of Al Horford and the corpse of Marcus Camby playing inside and swatting shots, and they'll combine to be a very fine REB/BLK duo. Small forward Thaddeus Young gets a lot of minutes and a lot of upside hype but fantasy wise he seems pretty average. If he turns out to be a plain Jane, Andrei Kirilenko is experiencing a bit of a resurgence and might be a better fit in the starting lineup with his defensive prowess.

The rest of the bench is all small guys, with SG Jason Terry, and PGs TJ Ford and Ty Lawson coming off the pine. What happens when Marcus Camby goes down for a few games (which is inevitable)? AK47 can slide over so that Horford plays center, but is that enough rebounding and defense to compete? Or rather, is that enough rebounding and defense to prevent a Kobe outrage? Maybe Jose can figure out a way to get Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown. Quick, call Chris Wallace!

Update: Kevin Martin exits stage right for at least two months, putting the "ouch" in "Heffalump." Luckily, late round pickup Quentin Richardson has been shooting spectacularly so he could help pick up the scoring slack. And it's not all bad injury news as Tyrus Thomas' injury has opened the door for last round pick Taj Gibson to get some starters minutes.

Funk Coalition (Jon)
GM Jon had a plan and basically stuck to it with mind numbing rigidity. After having a trade in place to snatch up Deron Williams, it wasn't even necessary as Williams fell to him anyway. With a well documented love of guards, the Funk went Deron, Joe Johnson, and Tony Parker right out of the gate, setting up an ideal three guard rotation. Add in long range bomber JR "Hiroshima" Smith and the backcourt is balanced and solid.

The Coalition then set out to secure the front court with one dimensional defensive big men. Andris Biedrins, Joakim Noah (via trade), Chris Andersen, and Tyson Chandler all have the same lanky builds, feature some fantastic hair, and won't score more than ten points a game. Together, they should rebound and block enough to keep pace with the rest of the league but none of them are more than part time players so that could be a problem. What Funk won't have problems doing is scoring. Aside from the four guard backcourt, PF Lamarcus Aldridge is an excellent offensive player and bench players Chris Duhon, Ryan Gomes, and Francisco Garcia (if he returns from injury) can also contribute a bit in the points and shooting department. In a totally unbiased evaluation, the Funk are anticipating a 7-1 divisonal record. Just saying.

Team Moribe (Mikey)
For pure entertainment value, I'd want documentary cameras trained on Team Moribe 24-7. For starters, you have Agent Zero, a one man reality show -- who happens to be justifying his first round selection. Then you have Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, Jermaine O'Neal, and Ben Wallace on the same team. If you're going to reunite the entire Malice from the Palace crew, shouldn't you be obligated to install metal detectors at every entrance to the player areas? Every day could be a battle, complete with guns, knives, or nunchucks. And are there moodier players than Shawn Marion and Tracy McGrady? I think not. Luckily, Kevin Love will be around to Twitter everything while JJ Redick sits around trying to figure out how he can be cool -- and how to launch his rap career. Maybe Artest will sign him to his label. And then punch him in the face during a practice cypher. Entertaining right? But how will this team play on the court?

Well, despite being confused about the positional requirements, Mikey has assembled a team with many interchangeable pieces. A starting lineup of PG Arenas, SG Jackson, SF Andrew Iguodala, PF Shawn Marion, and C Jermaine O'Neal will be very effective, especially with Marion and O'Neal playing so well in the early going. Artest will come off the bench to start some trouble and Kevin Love will come in to rebound once his hand heals. What this team will be lacking is a big man if/when O'Neal gets injured. Venerable Ben Wallace is looking good in his return as a Piston but can he really keep it up? If he can't, Team Moribe will be light in the BLKs department. Oh and if Gilbert Arenas goes down, the backup point guard position might be a little light with only Jarrett Jack behind him. In any case, I'm keeping my eye on this team, even if I'm physically keeping my distance, and ordering extra security guards when they come into my arena...

(Chamberlain Conference) Silverhawks

2009-11-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

Some of this prognosticator's favorite teams reside in this division. I'm gonna go ahead and say that this division will be way underrated and someone will go undefeated through the first five weeks. And by "someone" it could be any of four teams because they'll powerful in their own way. Jimmy's team is very traditionally built, Trieu's team is pure small ball, Eric-L's team needs to win now (and can do it), while Chris' team is just super weird, but in a wonderful way. Do you realize the Silverhawks were only on TV for one short season? How did they manage to seep into our collective consciousnesses? Oh right, they were freaking awesome. Metallic armor, random (musical) powers, retractable wings and face armor, space ships, and a fantastic look and design. But here's the question, can anybody actually name a Silverhawk character? I couldn't. Not one. I could barely even remember the intro, much less the theme song. Whatever, I'm betting a Silerhawk emerges as the top contender this season...

Sour Snails (Trieu)
After winning the lottery and getting Lebron James for life, Trieu was the happiest man in Arizona last week. Selecting first comes with a price however: you don't get to pick again for another thirty one picks. Many of us wondered what sort of teammates Lebron would be outfitted with. After the first three rounds, I was in absolute love with the Sour Snails. Three do everything forwards in LBJ, Josh Smith, and Gerald Wallace. That trio laid the foundation for a team that could be highly competitive in all categories -- except maybe FT% -- and I was excited to see what would come next. So it was a bit of surprise when the rest of Trieu's draft went suddenly very young and very niche. Starting point guard Aaron Brooks has been a revelation so far, and rookie SG Stephen Curry has a solid future, but it seemed a bit early for Curry. And then to shore up the center position, Trieu selected three point shooting big man Channing Frye.

Was Trieu going small ball with Lebron? I guess so. Especially when SF Danilo Gallinari, another three point specialist was brought on board. Backup swingman Corey Brewer has been a defensive terror this season (multiple STL/BLK a game) and backup backup swingmen Chris Douglas-Roberts and Martell Webster have had some very impressive offensive games recently -- but this team has almost no chance to win any rebounding battles. Late round pick, rookie power forward DeJuan Blair is miscast on this team as the only low post player, so look for him to be cut soon. And with Lebron and Josh Smith's low FT%, the Snails could be playing a very intriguing brand of small ball that aims to dump free throws but win blocks. The Snails have won a Cinderella championship going small so it's hard to argue with them but this is certainly an interesting way to build around the do everything game of Lebron.

fOb sTaRs (Jimmy)
Oh we like this starting five, we like it a lot. Chauncey Billups and Louis Williams in the backcourt, both providing nice scoring and assist numbers. Rashard Lewis lighting it up from beyond the arc as the small forward, with a contract year Chris Bosh providing an automatic 20-10 inside. And all that offense anchored by the defensive presence of center Emeka Okafor, who could be in for a career year. Plus, coming off the bench as the sixth man is Zach Randolph, another 20-10 guy. Nice right? In addition, Mike Bibby is the perfect third guard as he shoots, passes, and scores just like Billups and Williams. If young forward Jason Thompson can step up his game a little, average a double-double with a block, this team is pretty much set. I mean, there seems to be enough of everything on paper. Scoring, passing, rebounding, blocks, steals, three pointers, and even veteran leadership. Has the barely English literate Jimmy managed to put together a solid team? From the looks of things: Yes!

So what could be missing? Well, if any injuries happen, especially at the SG or SF position, the Fobstars could be in trouble. Larry Hughes and Travis Outlaw aren't exactly guys you want to count on in the long term. And can Jimmy pronounce "Omri Casspi" or "Peja Stojakovic," their late round picks, clearly enough to call them off the bench? GM Jimmy has been very active talking trades so look for something to happen soon to shore up the backup swingman position. Otherwise it's Chin-glish all the way!

Jedi Knights (Chris)
This team is going to win the percentage battles on the regular. I mean, Dirk Nowitzki, Jose Calderon, David Lee, and Nene, are all spectacular FG% guys. And Dirk and Jose are pretty much automatic at the line. This will be good because starting shooting guard OJ Mayo will be chucking it up a lot -- and missing a lot. And so will Hedo Turkoglu. And DJ Augustin. Ok wait, maybe this team won't win the percentages every week. Can five spectacular FG% guys (plus Ronnie Brewer) negate the damage done by four terrible ones (plus Shane Battier)? The Jedi Knights will be really interesting because they have some serious strengths but also a few glaring weaknesses.

Let's start with the strengths. The Knights will beat you on the boards. They will be strong from three point land. They will have more white starters than you -- and foreign starters too (Can you match the player with his home country?). In fact, the Knights could almost start a very respectable white-out team -- Calderon, Turkoglu, Nowitzki, Lee. Why didn't they draft Peja Stojakovic? Or maybe Sarunas Marciulionis? That would have been awesome! Chris, trade for Manu or Mike Miller, please just do it! The Knights can also pick your pocket because Ronnie Brewer is a thief and Nene has very quick hands for a big guy.

So what's missing? Mainly scoring. Dirk and OJ are wired to get buckets and will explode often -- but OJ might cede some shots to Iverson soon. Can Nene and Hedo do enough to offset Jose and David's lack of scoring? The Knights will also be weak in assists and blocks unless DJ Augustin (or some other backup point guard) can get some more playing time and someone else can help Dirk and Nene protect the rim. Late round additions Matt Barnes and Brandon Bass probably won't be in the mix much but are nice insurance in case of injuries. All in all, the Jedis are an unorthodox and intriguing team.

Fat Jubas (Eric-L)
It's difficult drafting last in a sixteen team league. A lot of franchise guys fly off the board before you're even close to picking. Eric-L has never shied away from a challenge before however. With a lot of fantasy experience and many powerhouse teams to his credit, he was going to use his double down picks to his advantage. While most of the big names were already off the board by the time his picks came around, I doubt anyone could have predicted that Eric-L would go with Steve Nash and Brook Lopez as his cornerstones. Nash has only a few years left in his prime and Lopez is a second year center. Of course, both of them have been playing spectacularly in the early going so Eric-L's faith in them looks warranted.

The Jubas' GM continued their veteran plus young guy theme throughout the rest of the draft. Forwards Kevin Garnett and Jeff Green in Rd3 and 4. Sharp shooter Ray Allen and versatile Boris Diaw in the next pairing. Then rookie Johnny Flynn and old vet Grant Hill. Followed by Anderson Varejao and another rookie, Chase Budinger. Only the last round selections of youngsters Yi Jianlian and Chuck Hayes broke that pattern. In the end, the Jubas have a starting lineup of: Nash, Allen, Green, Garnett, Lopez. Sub in Boris Diaw or Grant Hill if Kevin Garnett continues to get limited minutes and everything looks pretty balanced right? This team has to win now due to the veterans' ages and the reserves will really have to step up for this team to be successful. There's not a lot of backup assists or blocks if Nash or Garnett go down, and a bonus point if you had any idea who Chase Budinger was. I didn't, I had to Google him. And I'm still not sure who he is...

(Russell Conference) Voltron

2009-11-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

This is the Wizard of Oz division. Everyone has a hole and is in need of something. The Golden Dragons need a point guard, the Pogiboys need a shooting guard, the Bombardiers need another small forward, and the Human Amoebas need it to be next year. Then again, much like the lesson learned at the end of the Wizard of Oz, it was revealed that Scarecrow, Tin Man, and The Cowardly Lion had what they were looking for all along. The four Voltron division mates are all very well constructed teams, with each team built with an eye toward roster balance as well as statistical well-roundedness. In the spirit of Voltron, each team will probably be much stronger than its individual pieces might suggest. In fact, it's hard to gauge which team will emerge as the divisonal champion because they are all gambling with health and potential issues across the board so fate will play a large hand in deciding the leader.

Golden Dragon (Thien)
With the third overall pick, Thien had a difficult decision. LBJ and CP3 were clearly gone, so who was the third best player? Go for extreme upside with Kevin Durant or Danny Granger? Or roll the dice with injury risk Dwayne Wade? It turned out the answer was Wade and so the Golden Dragons will hope that he can indeed fall seven times and get up eight. Actually, Thien's team is full of returning from recent injury guys. Centers Andrew Bynum and Chris Kaman were hurt most of last season. Late round pick Mike Dunleavy hasn't even hit the court yet after coming off a fantastical roto season two years ago.

The good news is that co-team captain Paul Pierce rarely misses games and will be the perfect complement to Wade. And he'll have up and comer Rudy Gay backing him up. In fact, with Wade, Pierce, and Gay on the outside and Bynum and Kaman on the inside, this team is very well put together. Well, except for a semi-glaring hole at point guard. Is Raymond Felton going to be enough to carry this team in ASTs? Spurs' sophomore George Hill sure isn't ready yet. One thing this team won't be lacking in is offensive firepower. Al Harrington is twenty points and three pointers waiting to happen. Mike Miller will add some more long range shooting, and backup power forward Kenyon Martin will contribute some surliness and a few blocks. If Wade, Bynum, and Kaman can stay healthy, this team is going to be quite a handful.

Human Amoebas (Eric-A)
Welcome to your 2012 SlamNation champions, the Amoeba All Stars! With a dynasty league, there's a thin line between looking to win now and building for the future. The Amoebas clearly will be building for the future as the oldest player on the roster is forty year old Greg Oden. I mean, twenty six year old Danny Granger. Eric-A's first six picks after old man Granger were Derrick Rose, Eric Gordon, Michael Beasley, Paul Millsap, Greg Oden, and Courtney Lee. Everyone barely past drinking age except for Millsap (24). And it's not like Eric went any older with the rest of his draft, picking up Andray Blatche (23), Ryan Anderson (21), and Will Bynum (26). That's a lot of youth but how will they grow together?

Rose and Gordon will be a fine backcourt, Granger will provide nine category contributions at small forward, and Beasley and Oden will contribute offense and defense in the frontcourt, respectively. And once Carlos Boozer gets moved from the Jazz, Paul Millsap will be a beast. Isn't that a pretty perfect looking top six? It's the exact sort of team the Boston Celtics used to win the 2008 NBA championship. And with some promising backups at every position, the Amoebas are young but ready to compete now. So actually, let's move that championship prediction up a year, to 2011. For now, we think it's nice that Eric-A picked up Etan Thomas (age 32) in the eleventh round to baby sit his kids.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (Alvin)
Our returning champions, the Pogiboys love upside. Amare Stoudemire slipped down the draft charts a little bit for fear that his eye may fall out this season but when he's right, he's the most dominant offensive big man in the game. Could have been a draft day steal. Flanking Amare will be PF Tyrus Thomas, who Alvin just had to have in the fourth round. If Thomas can screw his head on straight and play with some consistency, he'll justify his lofty position. Add in two other promising big men, Roy Hibbert and Spencer Hawes, and that's quite the imposing front line.

So what's happening in the backcourt for the Pogiboys? First up is the point guard tandem of Devin Harris and rookie wunderkid Brandon Jennings. Harris is a very nice offensive PG with a bright future but it looks like Brandon Jennings could soon be the star of the show as he's had quite the debut week. Reserve Ramon Sessions might just rot on the bench all season since Harris and Jennings will be so productive. Forwards Caron Butler and Charlie Villanueva are at different points in their careers but Alvin really needs both of them to come through this year. And this team has a big hole at shooting guard. Can late round addition Kelenna Azubuike really hold down the position? He's actually a pretty decent player but will get jerked around minutes wise by the Don Nelson roller coaster. All is okay though, because Alvin has been a proven fantasy winner so we're sure he'll be a strong contender once again. Repeat?

Bayside Bombardiers (Pierre)
I'm gonna go ahead and call this team the second bananas. Nobody is a franchise player on their NBA team and there's nobody who can play alpha dog. For example. Pau Gasol and David West are fantastic players but are Kobe and Chris Paul's sidekicks. Ben Gordon is good, but he's no franchise player -- except maybe in crunch time. Jameer Nelson is a recent All-Star but one would be hard pressed to say he's the third best player on the Magic. Same with Mo Williams (Lebron's dubious All-Star sidekick). But hey, you don't need star power to win, you need balance and production.

The Bombardiers are certainly well stocked at every position. Jameer Nelson and Mo Williams as the point guards, Ben Gordon and Allen Iverson or Jamal Crawford as the shooting guards. David West and Luis Scola sharing power forward duties, and Pau Gasol and Samuel Dalembert hanging out in the middle. There's only one small forward on this team, Luol Deng, but that should turn out okay since he can't be injured again can he (oh and Pierre picked up Tayshaun Prince late)? While this team doesn't seem tremendously exciting on paper, it is sneakily well built and looks very competitive. I mean, each player seems to have a very defined statistical role and should be fully capable of coming through. Of course you wouldn't want to hang out with any of these guys -- aside from Iverson -- but who cares when boring wins you games and makes you a contender? The Bombardiers are out to prove that nice guys won't finish last. Or second to last. Or third to last.

(Chamberlain Conference) Transformers

2009-11-04T23:05:00.000-08:00

Before the draft, I earmarked this division as a very tough one. All four owners have been fantasy champions in various sports, most of them have been commissioners, and all of them were convinced they would have the best team. True to my prediction, post draft, this division will prove to be a battle ground. Steve and Roger are heavy on the veterans and looking to win now. Oliver's team is a nice blend of old and young, and Brian's team is young but extremely talented. So if you're trying to compare actual Transformers to the teams in this division, then Team Korea! and Buffy are Ironhide and Grimlock. Half Man Half ImAsian embodies Jazz. And Squirtle Squad is Hot Rod. Or maybe this is all stretching the analogies too far. On with the show!

Half Man Half ImAsian (Oliver)
Oliver's a former SlamNation champion and brings great GM skills and coaching abilities to the table. With ultra-versatile Kevin Durant as his franchise cornerstone, Oliver was set to go in any direction. Still, it was a bit of a surprise when he took Durant's real life teammate, Russell Westbrook with his second selection. Then again, Westbrook is fully capable of equaling/surpassing both Rajon Rondo and Derrick Rose's numbers in the upcoming years. All three are similar guards who can get in the lane at will but have poor jump shots. In order to make up for Westbrook's lack of three point range, Oliver snatched up Troy Murphy, last season's fantasy darling. The starting five is rounded out with Andrew Bogut at center and Rip Hamilton at shooting guard (Rip still wants to know why he's so hated by Oliver).

Backup guard Mario Chalmers is very similar to Westbrook and will provide plenty of steals and assists. The other backcourt subs, Kirk Hinrich and Anthony Parker, will make occassional appearances for their long range shooting and supportive high fives. Oliver will really need Marreese "Mississippi" Speights to get quality minutes soon, otherwise Kendrick Perkins will have to help out mightily in the blocks department and give ultra-whities Murphy and Bogut some hip hop edge and intimidation in the process. All in all, Oliver's team looks well poised for another successful year.

Korea! Korea! (Steve)
We were really hoping Nate Robinson would end up on this team. Think about the in-practice dunking contests that could happen. Dwight Howard, Vince Carter, Jason Richardson, and Nate Robinson -- that would have been six Slam Dunk championships combined. Team Korea would be able to charge admission for that kind of entertainment. This team needs to invest in baskets that stretch to thirteen feet, immediately. By taking the next dominant big man (post-Shaq) with the fifth overall pick, Steve set himself up for an interesting draft. Taking venerable PG Jason Kidd in the second round indicated that this team would be built for an immediate championship run. Following that strategy, the next four picks were also battle tested veterans. Carter, Richardson, Antawn Jamison, and Manu Ginobili are all over thirty and have only a few good years left, but they are definitely still capable of producing big numbers.

The main question with this team will be health. Vince is already down, Jamison is returning from injury, Manu is getting rabies vaccinated. And there seems to be an awful lot of swingmen on this team -- all those guys plus Josh Howard. Who will help Dwight control the boards and block some shots? Sneaky ninth round selection Yao Ming is out for the year so someone else will have to support Dwight for this season (but next year Team Korea will have the best center duo in the game). Reserves Rodney Stuckey and Brendan Haywood might be pressed into service soon as they're the only other PG and Cs on the roster behind Kidd and Howard. Oh and Erick Dampier, who is leading the league in blocks right now. Yes, Erick Dampier.

Buffy (Roger)
Just like Steve's in love with swingmen, his division rival Roger seems to have a similar addiction, but to power forwards. Three of Buffy's top four picks are natural power forwards. Tim Duncan, Elton Brand, and Carlos Boozer will provide plenty of front court scoring, low post defense, and fantastic field goal percentage, but who will pass them the ball? The face of the franchise, Brandon Roy, is a shooting guard, and the only point guard on the roster is Andre Miller -- who's not even starting for the Blazers. In fact, the only other guard on the roster is Michael Redd (injured) so the backcourt is thin. This will definitely bear watching.

The good news is that Roger seems to have found a gem in young center Marc Gasol, who has been putting up incredible numbers in his sophomore season. With Lamar Odom doing tremendous things while starting for Marc's brother in LA, an underrated Udonis Haslem, and versatile Wilson Chandler as the glue guy, this team is going to pound the ball inside and try to overpower opponents. The window for this team is pretty small though since Duncan might be on the decline soon, not to mention some of the other guys on this team aren't exactly spring chickens. Clearly Roger is of the "Just win now baby!" philosophy, and he's set up a good foundation to do just that.

Squirtle Squad (Brian)
Early in the season, Carmelo Anthony looks like he's on a mission. Insulted to have slipped out of the first round, Melo has been throwing up incredible scoring numbers and contributing a well rounded stat sheet to boot. Along with the return of Al Jefferson and a much hyped Anthony Randolph, Squirtle Squad has quite the future ahead of them. And they drafted along those lines because they've definitely hedged their bets for the following years with early round selections of rookie PG Tyreke Evans and PF Blake Griffin. If everything works out, Griffin could be part of a dominant front line for years to come -- unless the Clipper curse continues to sideline him, like forever.

So who's going to hold down the backcourt until Tyreke is ready? Well, Baron Davis is healthy (for now) and doing a little bit of everything -- including missing a lot of shots. Backup guards Randy Foye and Nate Robinson will help take some pressure off the big guys by bombing away from the outside while "big game small name" John Salmons will probably start at shooting guard. And of course, there's Shaq, who might be a key cog for this team with his rebounds and blocks. Plus he could be asked for much more as the only backup center to the brittle Jefferson. The Squirtles are set up for a promising future but unless a few key guys start playing really well now, they might be a little light on depth for this season. Then again, if Carmelo is going to continue to score at the fantastic rate of one point per minute, there might not be much to worry about. And yes I'm bitter Melo didn't drop to me.

Division Previews

2009-11-04T22:07:00.000-08:00

Because you asked for it, okay maybe nobody asked for it, but whatever. Here are the pre-season capsules for each team. Yes, with the draft nearly over, your dedicated blogger and co-league manager has managed to crank out sixteen team reviews in two days. They will be released one a day until Saturday, and it would be awesome if you guys wanted to comment on each capsule about who you think will win each division and why. Then on Sunday I will unveil a big predictions post. That's right. League participation, yah!

Also, while I clearly have lots of time and blogging in me, if anybody else wants to blog in-season for trade articles, division reviews, trash talking, whatever whatever, please do so. I can invite you as a blog author or just email me the text (and pictures) and I'll post it up. Remember, blogging is only exciting when you contribute. If you have any questions about how to blog, well, there's a little book called The Rough Guide to Blogging to help you out. Just saying.

And we need conference names, otherwise I'm using these for now.

Chamberlain Conference
Silverhawks
Transformers

Russell Conference
Thundercats
Voltron

The Jump Off

2009-11-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

Let's do this! For a week we've been harassing each other with texts and emails. People are staring at the spreadsheet awaiting their picks. As soon as a selection goes out, the nation is atwitter with commentary and evaluation. So while we're heading into the homestretch, why not take a quick look at the first six rounds?

Round One
Nothing surprising up top. Lebron, CP3, and Dwayne Wade in short order. This being a dynasty league, taking LBJ was definitely the right move despite CP3's fantasy dominance. And while Kevin Durant and Danny Granger are hyped as the next best things, Wade is still a numbers monster -- if he can stay healthy. The only semi-surprise was Lakers' fan Steve passing up Kobe Bryant at five (very defensible since Kobe ain't that young anymore) and nabbing Dwight Howard. If you draft Dwight, the rest of your draft has to be carefully orchestrated and built around his strengths. It was a bold move and could pay big dividends as many of the lower drafting GMs were hoping to get Howard. A slew of big men went in the latter half of the first round, in this order: Bosh, Nowitzki, Stoudemire, Jefferson, and Gasol. We'll see if that was the correct choice since all of them come with some red flags (age, injury, situation). The big shocker in Round One was Mikey's drafting of Gilbert Arenas. He's counting on the Hibachi returning to fantasy prominence but this was a huge gamble with Arenas' injury history. In a slightly smaller surprise, Suns superfan Eric-L takes old man Steve Nash, who has another two years max at elite level.

Round Two
Things get a little crazy at the top of the round as Eric-L backs up his Nash pick with up and coming center Brook Lopez. Eyebrows were raised all around but the seven footer threw up a 27 PTS, 15 REB, and 5 BLK line on opening night to calm the critics. The second round was full of point guards as eight were taken (bookended by Devin Harris and Monta Ellis), with six in a row at one point. Last year's rookie sensations, Derrick Rose and Russell Westbrook, went very early as their youth was a big selling point. Other than that, it was old stalwarts like Tim Duncan, Joe Johnson, and Paul Pierce getting value picked. This was the foundation round as whiffing on a top two pick could cripple you for years. For example, is David West worthy of his 2.03 draft pick? Would Carmelo or Devin Harris been better? Pierre obviously didn't think so.

Round Three
Now we're getting into some serious future selections and reaches. Andrea Bargnani at 3.02. Eric Gordon at 3.06. Anthony Randolph at 3.13. All promising players but round three value? We'll see. Andrew Bynum went early to Thien on the strength of a fantastic opening night line and that forced Steve to draft yet another Magician, Vince Carter. Chris snaked David Lee from a lot of wish lists and will be rewarded with extreme rebounding numbers and double doubles. Alvin, Roger, and Eric-L rolled the dice on semi-healthy Caron Butler, Elton Brand, and Kevin Garnett. Round three was interesting as it set the tone for "Playing to win now or building for the future?" For example, Roger went Duncan and Brand in Rounds Two and Three, meaning he's going for the ring this year. Steve did the same with Jason Kidd and Vince Carter. Brian seems to be rolling the dice on potential as he takes Randolph early to pair with a still recovering Al Jefferson and Carmelo Anthony. It's tricky winning now and later, who can pull it off? Who wants to be the next Joe Dumars? Oh wait...

Round Four
The inevitable big man run. As everyone without a top tier PF or C figures out they can't compete without some big men, Carlos Boozer, Tyrus Thomas, LaMarcus Aldridge, Nene, Okafor, Horford, Bogut, and Okur get drafted in quick order. Scattered into this round are versatile forwards like Jeff Green, Shawn Marion, and Rudy Gay. In other news, Eric-A is recreating the draft class of 2009 as he has Rose, Gordon, and Beasley on his roster. Has anyone done this before? Built a team around one whole draft class? I mean, I guess doing this for 1984 would've worked out very well. Thankfully, the 2009 has been touted as one of the best of all time. Eric-A has to take Mayo next, right? OJ, come on up!

Round Five
As everyone looks to round out their starting five, it becomes easier to project draft picks based on need. Evan needed a swingman, he takes Trevor Ariza. Steve, Eric-A, Jose, Jon, and Mikey needed bigs, they selected Jamison, Millsap, Camby, Biedrins, and Jermaine O'Neal respectively. Same with teams missing shooting guards, which had been an undrafted position on most teams because the position is so deep. The big reach here was Stephen Curry at 5.01 for Trieu, but maybe it's the perfect selection since he probably wouldn't have made his way back. With thirty plus names before you get to pick again, most owners just drafted who they wanted and damn the value or position. Oliver's curious selection of Richard Hamilton (limited upside, limited fantasy game) at 5.04 was interesting since he declared that he hated him right afterwards. A little Detroit love-hate perhaps? Do tell. Toward the latter half of the round, rookie PGs Brandon Jennings and Tyreke Evans flew off the board based on one good game and a lot of pre-season hype respectively. Let's say one of them booms and one of them busts. Which one will it be?

Round Six
This was the "let me lock up my starters" round. Remarkably, Mikey has been the only owner to draft his team totally positionally and right in a row. PG Arenas, SG/SF Iguodala, SG/SF S Jackson, PF Marion, C O'Neal, and sixth man Kevin Love. A classic NBA setup. Everyone has a good looking starting five positionally wise by the end of this round and a few undervalued veterans who dropped for various reasons are getting picked up. Hello Boris Diaw, Michael Redd, and Hedo Turkoglu. And the Blake Griffin experience has started as Brian took him at 6.04! That could be an absolute steal as I know some owners were talking about taking Griffin two or even three rounds earlier pre-injury. It was shooters galore the rest of Round Six as Michael Redd, JR Smith, Manu Ginobili, Raymond Felton, Leandro Barbosa, and Danilo Gallinari's 3PT potential dominated the round. I'm so excited to have the starters and sixth men drafted, now it's on to reserves and bench players. And who's looking forward to meeting Mr. Irrelevant? I am, I am!

Rules

2009-10-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

This is a head-to-head most categories won dynasty league. Seasons will be denoted by which year the NBA Finals is played. For example, a fantasy season may start November 2009 but the NBA Finals will be in June 2010 so this is the 2010 fantasy year.

SETUP
Two conferences, each consisting of two divisions of four teams each

Conference 1
(Silverhawks) Trieu, Jimmy, Chris, Eric-L
(Transformers) Oliver, Steve, Roger, Brian

Conference 2
(Thundercats) Evan, Jose, Jon, Mikey
(Voltron) Thien, Eric-A, Alvin, Pierre

SCORING

9 Non-weighted categories: PTS, AST, REB, STL, BLK, 3PM, FG%, FT%, TO
Head-to-head Most Categories won each week
A matchup win is 1 W/L, not a win or loss per category

ROSTERS

Starting lineup requirements: 1 PG, 1 SG, 1 SF, 1 PF, 1 C, and 1 G, 1 PF/C, 1 Util
8 Starters, 4 Bench, 1 IR
All positional and injured reserve eligibility determined by ESPN

KEEPERS

Keep 6 players from each season, declared one week before the yearly draft

LINEUP

Lineup Change: Daily - Lock Individually at Scheduled Gametime. (updated 12/2011)
Games Played Limits: Matchup limit is 22 games, assuming seven day matchup week. (26 during 2012 lock out season.)

TRANSACTIONS

Waiver Period: 1 day
Waiver System: Move to Last After Claim, Never Reset Order
Trade Review Period: 24 hours
Votes Required to Veto Trade: 10 "nay" votes (2/3 majority), excluding two teams involved in trade

PLAYOFFS

Lock rosters heading into playoffs (no add/drops)
Division winners get into playoffs, plus two wildcards from each conference
Toilet Bowl of the non-playoff teams for next year's draft order
Playoff tie-breaker system is linked to here.

FUTURE DRAFTS

Toilet Bowl winner and runner-up get picks #1 and #2 overall picks, then it's reverse order of standings, no snake.
Champion and runner-up get last and next-to-last picks respectively.

Moving along...

2009-10-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

It's been an exciting three years but now we've got expansion and new rules on the horizon so this blog will be archived. In fact, I'm going to port the entire thing over to (Old) SlamNation. That will remain exactly the same but all the archives here will be de-tagged and put under the Label "Old Cycle." So thanks for hanging out, here's to our expanded league!

2009 Championship: The Last Run

2009-10-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

As we prepare to move into a reset year, new rules, and expansion, I thought it'd be nice to put up a quick recap of Season 3. Interest may have waned but the games went on!

EAST
MoRRie's Pogiboys (12-5-3)
After the Sour Snails Cinderella last-to-first run in Season 2, Alvin basically did the same thing in Season 3. I mean, they were second to last in Season 1, went all the way to the Conference Finals in Season 2, and then jetpacked their way to a championship in Season 3. With point guards Chris Paul and Chauncey Billups leading the way, no opponent won more than two categories versus Alvin's team on his playoff run. Despite losing out on the Kevin Durant sweepstakes in Season 2, the Pogiboys never looked for excuses and used multiple trades and savvy pickups to create an unstoppable force.

Poobic Heirs (13-6-1)
Oliver's team finished atop the Eastern conference during the regular season, making a strong case for him being the dominant team during our three year run. He won the championship in year one, finished with a high playoff seed in year two, and finished with the second best record in the league in year three. The only downside is that the Heirs were bounced from the playoffs in both of their non-championship years by the Pogiboys. Despite that intense rivalry, Oliver's core of Kobe Bryant, Yao Ming, Caron Butler, Devin Harris, and sharpshooter Kevin Martin were always championship caliber.

Human Amoebas (11-9)
The Amoebas always looked great on paper. Dirk Nowitzki, Amare Stoudemire (later traded for Dwayne Wade), Jason Kidd, Tracy McGrady, and a slew of other big names. While they had an uneven first year at nine wins versus eleven losses, the Amoebas came back to make the playoffs in their second season and then advanced all the way to the Finals in the last year of this cycle. As the number five seed, they pulled off a huge upset by defeating Season 3's top ranked Shanghai Chunky Monkeys. Now the Amoebas are rededicated and back for more.

Squirtle Squad (7-12-1)
The Squirtles have seen better days. Kevin Garnett was hampered by a knee injury. Bradon Roy was awesome but banged up. Ray Allen and JR Smith provided solid outside shooting to complement Carlos Boozer, David Lee, and Deron Williams, but this team still couldn't get anywhere. All that talent and nothing to show for it, except a Toilet Bowl win -- in the year we redraft. There was a time when the Squirtles were the most feared team in the league, notching fourteen wins in both Seasons 1 and 2, but they slipped badly in Year Three.

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (7-13)
J's team finished their last season on a five game losing streak. Ouch. As the bottom fell out, the only star pulling his weight was Pau Gasol, as other franchise cornerstones such as Ben Gordon and Shawn Marion played horrifically down the stretch. Overall, the Pooh Bears haven't experienced much success, as they've never topped eight wins and have been the only three time participant in the Toilet Bowl -- but they made it to the finals this last time!

Jedi Knights (5-15)
The Knights had a tough go of it. As a replacement owner who stepped in after Season 1, he faced an uphill battle from the beginning. While the Jedis certainly improved on their nine game losing streak from Season 2 (when they went 3-16-1), their Four Gigantic Horsemen lineup of Dwight Howard, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Chris Bosh, and Emeka Okafor couldn't find the balance to consistently win. That's okay, with new management and a draft coming around the corner, the Knights are no longer playing with someone else's pieces.

WEST
Shanghai Chunky Monkeys (14-6)
The only other team able to challenge the Poobic Heirs for sustained success, the Monkeys were Finals participants in season one (albeit with a ridiculously battered team that started Mardy Collins and Allan Ray. Yes, Allan Ray), lost to another eventual champion in season two, and finished with the best record in the league in season three. That's a lot of wins. Their swingmen heavy lineup of Danny Granger, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Manu Ginobili, and nice depth and balance always kept them in the hunt but without a healthy Gilbert Arena for almost two full years, the Monkeys just couldn't quite win a ring. Still, for a long time, the Monkeys were the class to the West.

Buffy (11-9)
When Elton Brand went down for the season, Roger probably shed a tear. See, they had just acquired Elton a year ago. The price? Eventual league MVP Chris Paul. At one time, Buffy seemed to have the deepest and most flexible team in the league (just a few names: Baron Davis, Tim Duncan, Rashard Lewis, Jose Calderon, Antawn Jamison, Elton Brand, Shaquille O'Neal). They finished 13-8 and 14-6 in the two years before this and were serious contenders each time. They backslid a little bit but still managed to get home court advantage in Season 3 before being upset by the Human Amoebas.

Fobsters (10-9-1)
Was previous owner Ping even around? Jimmy stepped in for him during Season 3 and put in a good showing, going to the playoffs and letting his unbalanced but powerful team some post-season shine. There was nary a good point guard on the roster but Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Lamar Odom, David West, Richard Jefferson, Nene, and Marcus Camby were nothing to sneeze at. Still, that combination of big name talent only went 7-13 and 8-13 in previous years so applause to the coach of the Fobsters for Season 3's upgrade.

Sleepy Sour Snails (10-9-1)
The Snails were a pathetic 3-18 in Season 1 but managed to win the Toilet Bowl and then proceeded to small ball their way to a championship in Season 2. Their lineup gelled D'Antoni-like and Steve Nash, Allen Iverson, Stephon Jackson, Hedo Turkoglu, Ron Artest, and Jason Richardson shot their way to a crown. Then they semi-collapsed for a weak title defense but their place in SlamNation lore will always be secure. Worst to first, an impossible Cinderella season. From now all, any last place team can cite the Snails of '08 as inspiration for future success.

Fat Jubas (9-11)
Eric-L's team made some big moves to try to save Season 3 but ultimately came up short of the playoffs. Amare Stoudemire for Dwayne Wade didn't exactly work out. Shifting Tony Parker away for (someone I forgot) wasn't exactly a landslide win. Al Jefferson lost most of his season and the Jubas collapsed under the weight of injuries, a theme of theirs historically. After a sterling 16-4-1 first season, the Jubas went 11-8-1 the next year but then accumulated problems with Tracy McGrady and Jermaine O'Neal really dragged them down. In the end, Andre Igoudala emerged as a cornerstone but he wasn't enough. Hey, at least he was healthy though.

Funk Coalition (7-12-1)
Despite owning the incomparable Lebron James, the Funk just perpetually stunk. After an inaugural season in which their daring "almost all point guard" lineup sort of worked and they won twelve games, Jon's team could barely equal that win total in the next two seasons combined. Much of the blame could be traced to the decline of a guard heavy roster that included TJ Ford, Rafer Alston, Jameer Nelson, Raymond Felton, Sebastien Telfair, Randy Foye, and other such luminaries over the years. At least NBA draftmates Lebron and Carmelo got a few runs in together.

Final Standings 2009

2009-10-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

Draft Review

2008-10-27T01:12:00.000-07:00

In what could possibly be our last year, or at least the last year before we reset keepers (or evaluate and see what we'd like to do), the draft ended up being full of upside and speculation. We introduce Jimmy (an old Slamnation champion from an earlier incarnation) and say good bye to Ping. Off season trades shook up the league a little but not as much as the previous summer. On the eve before the season kicks off, let's take a look at how each team did in the draft.

(1) 100AcrePoohBears
Another season spent struggling in the Toilet Bowl for J's team -- at least they won it all this time. The good news is that last year's team who picked first vaulted all the way to the top and took the championship. So there's a good chance J's team can do the same based on, um, history. Last year's mid-season trades really shook the Bears up. Mike Bibby to Atlanta, Shawn Marion to Miami, and Pau Gasol to the Lakers. Those probably translate to slight statistical decreases across the board. Bibby will garner more AST but Marion won't have Steve Nash anymore and Gasol has to compete for REB/BLK with Andrew Bynum. Plus, Josh Childress jumped ship for Europe.

Having said all that though, number one overall pick Michael Beasley could be an immediate double-double contributor. Last year's draft pick, Rodney Stuckey, looks ready to increase his numbers and this year's second round draft pick, fellow Piston Amir Johnson, has been elevated to the starting lineup. This team is still intriguing on paper with a good mix of big and small and could easily do better than their 8-12 record and make it out of the Toilet Bowl.

(2) Fobsters
Another Toilet Bowl veteran, Ping's team is loaded with big names but few successes. With new management stepping in, the hope is that a steady hand and a new outlook will give Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Lamar Odom, and the rest of this stellar cast a chance to get to the playoffs. The off-season definitely helped out Vince Carter, who will probably be a monster now that he's the only real player on the Nets. The Fobsters also own Richard Jefferson, who will be basically the same player in Milwaukee. Marcus Camby is grumbling about being shipped out to the Clippers for pennies, but he'll still put up REB and BLK.

The biggest problem for this team is the same as last year: guards, specifically point guards. Earl Watson, Luke Ridnour, Marcus Williams (now in Golden State), and Mike Conley are all pretty mediocre. Watson might get some big AST numbers, Ridnour should do better than he did in Seattle, and maybe Conley will emerge in his sophmore year, but it's all a bit of maybe's. The draft didn't add a point guard but rookie OJ Mayo will be an excellent all around fantasy player and maybe Darko Milicic will put up 2 BLKs a game in support of Camby. Jimmy will have to make some moves to get his team squared up but he's got quite the mouthwatering supply of talent to do it with.

(3) Funk Coalition
The bottom fell out for the Funk last season. Working with a bunch of point guards, most of them underachieved or simply fell apart. TJ Ford, Randy Foye, Jameer Nelson, and Raymond Felton all did worse than the previous year. Big scorers Carmelo Anthonoy and Michael Redd dipped in the PTS department, and that's pretty much all she wrote for a team that was already jettisioning four categories. The good news is that Ford has been moved to the Pacers and will get a chance to play full time. Randy Foye is finally healthy and ready to contribute, and the team still has Lebron James.

Curiously, GM Jon took Kevin Love in the first round, and he obviously doesn't fit the needs of this squad. Does this portend a shake up? With their second rounder, they picked up Eddie House, who will be a sparkplug off the bench for the defending champs. The question will be if this team has another run in it, or if it's back to the drawing board with the (bad) point guards strategy.

(4) Jedi Knights
New owner Chris had a rough go of it in his first year. It's always tough to inherit a team and he did the best he could but that only amounted to three wins (and one tie) on the season. However, Lum showed that he had the savvy to see his team's weaknesses and moved quickly to address them with his draft by selecting two rookie point guards, Portland's Jerryd Bayless and Seattle's Russell Westbrook. This team was desperately hurting for some AST and guards, and now Sam Cassell and Steve Francis will either be cut or related to the glue factory.

Last year found Al Thornton emerging as a nice surprise alongside the already huge lineup of Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard, Emeka Okafor, Brad Miller, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas. The off season yielded good results for Mike Miller (ready to fire it up in Minnesota), Matt Barnes (now starting for the Suns) and Nate Robinson (now playing in a Suns style offense). What the Jedi Knights really need to unleash the force though, is a return to form by Luol Deng and maybe a move or two to move away from their core strength of big men.

(5) Human Amoebas
The Amoebas finally made a waiver move or two last season and slipped into the playoffs with a 9-11 season. There was a lot of fall off from their previous season as Jarrett Jack and Andrea Bargnani really underachieved. The good news is that Amare Stoudemire became a force next to Shaq and Marvin Williams emerged as a good PTS-REB option. Plus, the decline of Jason Kidd is really only in real life as his fantasy value remains consistent. The big question for Eric-A is how to get his team to perform better all around.

It looks like there's enough talent on-hand to get to the playoffs again, especially if first rounder Derrick Rose can carve out significant minutes and if Quentin Richardson flourishes again under Mike D'Antoni. Last year's second round pick, Spencer Hawes might become a viable big man option but that's a long shot. Another option might be this year's selection, forward Donte Green, but he's possibly trapped behind Ron Artest and Shane Battier in Houston. I guess the key to this team's improvement will be centered around Derrick Rose and his highly anticipated rookie season.

(6) Fat Jubas
A deep team on paper, the Jubas took a step back last season under the weight of hefty injuries. Coming off a 16-4-1 record in 2007, they fell to 11-8-1 due to long term injuries to Dwayne Wade and Jermaine O'Neal. This season, both are healthy but it's Tracy McGrady's turn to start the season dinged up. But it may not matter because this team has talent coming out of its pores. Corey Maggette will be the man in Golden State, Al Jefferson has emerged fully as a force, and Andre Iguodala and LaMarcus Aldridge will probably be better too.

A pair of point guard picks in this year's draft, Rudy Fernandez and Chris Duhon, could both pay big dividends if given time. Rudy was a highlight of the gold medal game and Duhon can run and gun in the Knicks' new up tempo attack. And let's not forget Yi Jianlian, who might be in line for some sophmore improvements. Or, um, maybe not. In any case, look for the Jubas to vault up the standings if two out of three of their big guns can stay healthy.

(7) Chunky Monkeys
The Monkeys found themselves in a similar situation to the Jubas. A stellar 2007 and a run to the Finals followed by a lackluster 2008. Losing Gilbert Arenas for most of the season didn't help matters and the team might have to move on without him this season too. Luckily for Evan, his team is still full of talent. Danny Granger emerged as the new Shawn Marion and is now a top fantasy player, taking a lot of the pressure off. There's a good mix of young and old and fine team balance but it'll be tough without Arenas and Manu Ginobili to start the season.

New center Andray Blatche could be a BLK machine, on a team already armed with Tyson Chandler, Josh Smith, and Andris Biedrins. It wouldn't hurt for the Monkeys to look for some point guard help, especially if Mo Williams can't replicate his outstanding numbers beside Lebron and Co. The sleeper on this team is Charlie Villanueva, who is now the starting PF for the Bucks. Second rounder Paul Millsap is injury insurance only and probably won't see significant time. The Monkeys are still loaded and ready for a return to the Finals and we predict that they'll do signifcantly better than last year if they can find some guards to hold out until Manu and Gilbert come back.

(8) The Poobic Heirs
Oliver's team may have fallen early in the playoffs but that's probably not a sign of their decline. In fact, the one time champs are one of the favorites for the championship this year. The only reason they fell out of contention was because of a hole at center late in the year (Yao Ming and Samuel Dalembert were both hurt), but that situation may have been rectified as GM Oliver might win GM of the Year for drafting Greg Oden last year and then sitting on him. If Oden is as good as advertised defensively, Yao's frailty won't be as big of an issue.

The Heirs have a stellar scoring backcourt in Kobe Bryant, Kevin Martin, Devin Harris, and Monta Ellis (out to start the season). There's a distinct lack of true point guards on the roster, aside from possibly Kirk Hinrich, who will probably be pushed aside by Derrick Rose at some point. That's why first round pick Ramon Sessions might be important. The second pick brought in crowd favorite Chris "The Birdman" Andersen, who probably won't get much play behind Rasheed Wallace and Andrew Bogut but could be useful if either one of them goes down. The Heirs are going to be a much tougher out this year, there's no doubt about it.

(9) MoRRie's Pogiboys
The team that took out The Poobic Heirs had a true Cinderella season. From worst to second place in the East behind the heist of 2007 -- acquiring Chris Paul for Elton Brand, who subsequently got injured. Now that CP3 has emerged as an astounding fantasy force, the Pogiboys have taken their game to another level. Another huge factor in their drastic improvement was the emergence of Rudy Gay as a franchise player, along with the solid play of rookie Al Horford.

Alvin is hoping for more of the same from the young trio and must be delighted that Andrew Bynum is healthy and looking very bulked up. Guard depth is a slight issue with the team, as there isn't much behind Chris Paul or Chauncey Billups. The draft brought in college hero Mario Chalmers, who has an outside chance of playing lots of minutes for a rebuilding Miami squad. Now that first round pick John Salmons has a starting gig, he's likely to put up drool worthy numbers on the Kings, which will really help round out a team that is sneaky deep.

(10) Buffy
How was it possible for Buffy to essentially give away Chris Paul (Elton Brand was injured all season, Stephon Marbury was useless) but still handily win the West? Welcome to a team loaded with impact players at every position. Roger's team can go big or small and they were buoyed by career years by Jose Calderon and Mike Dunleavy. Now that Brand is back, he'll join Tim Duncan, Antawn Jamison, Rashard Lewis, Eddy Curry, and Kenyon Martin (plus Shaquille) on a versatile front line. Hell, Stephon Marbury might even have a decent 2008.

There's a good chance first round pick Marc Gasol could make a quick impact in Memphis but the same can't be said about second rounder Eric Gordon, who will have a hard time getting shooting guard minutes behind Cuttino Mobley and Ricky Davis. There's no reason to believe that Buffy won't be dominant in the regular season again, not with Elton coming back at full strength. The question will be if they can follow their success through to the post-season.

(11) Squirtle Squad
The Squad has won fourteen games in consecutive seasons and have taken the East two years running. However, they've had the unfortunate experience of losing to the champion in both seasons. The big Celtic trade last off-season ended up hurting both Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen's numbers, and the awesome depth that this team once had is dipping a little. At the end of the year, they were using Jeff Foster, Josh Powell, and Rasho Nesterovic on the frontline.

Still, it's not like they're bereft of big men as Garnett, Carlos Boozer, and the awesome David Lee will grab REBs by the bushel. JR Smith is looking to have a breakout year and his shooting will mitigate Ray Allen's declines. As long as Deron Williams and Brandon Roy keep improving, Brian's team won't have much to worry about and first round pick Wilson Chandler is being praised by Mike D'Antoni and praised as similar to Shawn Marion. Look for the Squad to really pull it together and make a big push for that elusive championship.

(12) Sour Snails
As KG said in June, "Anything is possible!" The league thought the Pogiboys had a Cinderella season but that's hardly a fairy tale compared to Trieu's 2008 season. They went from worst in the West (by a long shot), all the way up to second, and then upended powerhouse Buffy and Squirtle Squad on the way to a championship. The Sour Snails had the Midas touch with the waiver wire, firing through a league leading number of transactions, and played all the right notes.

The strange thing is that outside of adding Rookie of the Year Kevin Durant, the roster looked very similar to the year before. The emergence of Hedo Turkoglu as an all around force was huge, as was the return to form by Jason Richardson. With gunners at every position and Steve Nash and Allen Iverson leading the charge, the Snails really hit their stride late and started to blow people off the floor. Who says offense can't win championships?

This year's draft picks, Mickael Pietrus and Brook Lopez, don't seem to fit the team's current makeup but they'll have no problem sitting on the bench and cheering on their more decorated teammates. The Snails don't have any red flags or off-season changes and will be in contention for a repeat.

PERfect

2008-10-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Oh what I would give to have John Hollinger's job. Watch the NBA all day and then apply fun statistical models to everything. As the new season approaches, Hollinger has given a break down for every player and even better, did individual scouting reports on all of them. That's insane! Seriously, like every player has a scouting report.

It revealed great things like how Tony Parker rarely uses his left hand, even on layups. Or how Dirk Nowitzki might be the best shooting big man of all time -- Larry Bird just rolled his eyes. And how Dwayne Wade is a huge gambler on defense. Armed with this information, my (W)NBA career is surely only a few months away.

Seriously, I'd want to these people's jobs: Bill Simmons, John Hollinger, or Steve Sabol. In that order.

Make sure to click on the player cards and check out the Hollinger reports. A few examples: Carmelo Anthony, Deron Williams, and Rajon Rondo. The most fascinating part of the reports is the little line at the bottom that compares the player in question to whom they're most like (at their current age). For example, Andrei Kirilenko is comparable to a young Derrick McKey. Michael Redd is Jerry Stackhouse. Joe Johnson is the second coming of Michael Finley. Plus lots of head scratchers like Shawn Marion is most similar to Chris Mullin?!

In other news, the Celtic's season opener and championship ring ceremony is on October 28th. Clear your social calendars. Also, the special edition DVDs of their season will be available starting then too. The set will feature complete games so everyone can relive their crushing victory over the Lakers. Over and over and over again...

2008 Championships: The Answer

2008-04-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

5-4, Sour Snails vs Squirtle Squad
By the power of Greyskull, the Sour Snails have done it! From last to first in one short year. Forget just the biggest regular season turnaround in history, the Snails fine tuned their roster all season long and then had the machine perfectly calibrated for a playoff run. Meanwhile, the Squirtles had been dominating their conference all year and with Deron Williams leading the way, they tore through their side of the post-season. However, as they reached the Finals, they were faced with an unenviable task. All of their front line stars would now be nigh useless against the high flying Snails.

For example, what could the Squirtle's Kevin Garnett, Carlos Boozer, David Lee, Jeff Foster, Rasho Nesterovic, Josh Powell, and Ryan Gomes add to the mix? Good rebounds, low turnovers, and field goal percentages were useless. Only Deron Williams (18 PTS, 10.7 AST, 1.2 STL/3PT), Ray Allen (12.7 PTS, 2.3 3PT), and Brandon Roy (17 PTS, 7 AST, 1.7 3PT, 2.0 STL) were really capable of playing run-and-gun.

Check out the Snails stable of horses. Steve Nash (11 AST), Allen Iverson (31.3 PTS, 6 AST, 3 STL), Jason Richardson (27.3 PTS, 3.7 AST/3PT), Kevin Durant (21.7 PTS, 1.3 STL), Steven Jackson (23 PTS, 1.7 STL, 2.7 3PT), and Hedo Turkoglu (19 PTS, 7.8 AST, 1.3 STL/3PT). Heck, even the mighty Chris Quinn added 12.3 PTS, 6.7 AST, 1 STL, and 1.7 3PT this week. All of this and Ron Artest only played one game during the championship period.

This was going to be like Golden State vs Dallas circa 2007. Last week we predicted that the fight would have to be over PTS or FT%. How did that turn out? Well, the Snails obliterated the Squad in PTS (635-481) but lo and behold, lost in FT% (75.9% - 79.4%). That should have equaled a win for Brian's Squirtles right? Not so fast we say. How about that sneaky category, blocks?

The championship game came down to BLKs and it was here that the Snails unexpectedly had two more than the much bigger Squirtles (14-12 BLK). Incredible. Shouldn't three seven footers (Garnett, Foster, Nesterovic) have been able to get a few BLKs in? Apparently not. With a last minute pickup of James Posey (4 BLK) and the clutch Kevin Durant (3 BLK), the Snails pulled through at the end and squeaked out a victory.

Amazingly, both the Snails and the Squirtles had 100 transactions this year (the next closest was Pogiboys with 50), which goes to prove that activity can equal success! So at the conclusion of an amazing NBA campaign -- with an amazing champion for us -- let's join in and congratulate Trieu and his truly Cinderella-esque season. To the Sour Snails!