Conference Round Recap

What a semi-finals! Both games came down to Sunday, with hotly contested categories all around. Over in the Chamberlain Conference, the Fat Jubas upset Squirtle Squad by the smallest 3PT margin. The golden oldies used grit and grunts to lock up the REB category, hit all their free throws, and barely outscored the top ranked Squirtles.

For Brian, it really hurts that they keep getting upset in the playoffs with no Finals appearances to show for it. This time it was their FT%, a scintillating 61.25 FT% showing that doomed them. While big men Blake Griffin and Greg Monroe are excellent elsewhere, they combined to hit only 16/43 free throws, with Griffin shooting 23.8% from the charity stripe. Ouch.

Eric-L used a team effort from Kevin Garnett, Steve Nash, Nicolas Batum, Marcin Gortat, and even a solid Gordon Hayward to seal the win. Most surprising of all, Kevin Seraphin (who?) might have been the hero as he pretty much averaged a double double all week. The Jubas are riding a six game winning streak and are looking to crush their way to a first SlamNation championship. Standing in their way will be a young upstart, making this a true old versus new matchup.

In the Russell Conference, it was a bloodbath between two teams who share good/bad blood. Cousins Evan and Eddie faced off and got their families involved in the trash talking but in the end, it was upstart Eddie who squeezed into the Finals. With both owners hawking their lineups all week, the record book will show that NJ All-Stars defeated the Chunky Monkeys by a mere five PTS, four STL, or 0.22 difference in FG%. Oh and the two teams also tied in 3PT.

Usually Evan's small ball team does well in particular matchups, but even with Chris Paul really picking pockets (13 STL), the Monkeys were outstolen by the All-Stars quick hands. That's pretty hard to do. I mean, both teams put up over 40+ STL. Looking closer at the stats, it seems like Andrea Bargnani's injury on Sunday could have been the difference maker, as it's hard to argue that Barg couldn't have contributed more than seven total points, and at least hit another three to break the deadlock.

For Eddie, flush with first season owner pride, his team isn't just going to be happy to be here. Sure they are a little wilted after many battles but they are focused on getting a huge upset -- and the 2012 crown. Ryan Anderson needs to return soon, DeAndre Jordan needs to be amnestied from his fat contract, and Jameer Nelson and J.J. Barea need to make up for the loss of Kyle Lowry. Well, unless Lowry comes back this week, which he could. Can LeBron James win a fantasy championship with rookie Isaiah Thomas as his second leading scorer? It sure looks like it's possible. Thomas is peaking at exactly the right time and is fast displacing Luol Deng as the Robin to LBJ's Batman. "I believe the children are our future / Teach them well and let them lead the way!"

Still, the Fat Jubas are the heavy favorite here and will likely win both percentages and TO, while NJ All-Stars has the edge in AST and STL. The question will be who can hit more 3PT and who can score more PTS. It's gonna be a fascinating championship week, best of luck to Eric-A and Eddie.

Over in the Toilet Bowl, things were close too as Funk Coalition threatened a big upset but lost by a handful of 3PT and STL despite playing a few more games. Tyreke Evans had a puncher's chance of sending Pogiboys packing but failed. Now Alvin will have Brandon Jennings leading the way for a shot at the number one overall draft pick in 2013.

His opponent in the Toilet Bowl finals is Trieu, who can't seem to be prevented from getting to any finals, even the losing sides'. This will be a Herculean task though because his entire bench is bascially not suiting up next week: Stephen Curry, Danilo Gallinari, Wilson Chandler, and Grant Hill. The Snails barely upset LA Buffy, surviving by a few PTS and one last second 3PT that rimmed out. This time they'll need Kevin Love and crew to really step up to lock up a huge win.

Based on last week's stats, the matchup between Pogiboys and Sour Snails will be very close as they evenly matched in AST/STL, TO, and PTS. The Snails will win REB and BLK most likely, but likely lose both of the percentage categories as Alvin is great there. We hope the Toilet Bowl won't come down to injuries, and wish both teams the best.

PLAYOFFS - THE FINALS
#2 Fat Jubas (9-3)* vs #4 NJ All-Stars (8-4)

TOILET BOWL FINALS
#1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4) vs #2 Sour Snails (4-8)

Preview RD2: 2012

What a first weekend of the playoffs, as we had a huge upset over in the Russell Conference. Somehow new coach Eddie took his team up against Thien's mighty The Horizon -- the top seed -- and won by Sunday fueled comeback. Strangely, both teams played only 25/26 games so extra games wasn't a factor. What did help was the outstanding shooting by the NJ All-Stars, who had a scorching 50.62 FG% and won FT% too. The Horizon tried to ride Dwayne Wade, Paul Pierce, Andrew Bynum, and John Wall to victory but they were ultimately unseated by Lebron James and his merry band of pranksters -- Paul George, Isaiah Thomas, Ryan Anderson, and Jose Calderon.

Everything else on the playoff front played out according to plan, as the other favored teams rolled to easy victories.

Over in the Toilet Bowl, defending champ Human Amoebas was eliminated by a lower seed, Funk Coalition, in a minor upset, but Eric-A was without the services of Derrick Rose so maybe it was no upset at all. Top seed MoRRie's Pogiboy sweated out a surprising week from Josh's So Buckets, who could have won if they game managed just a little better. Needing just a handful of 3PT, AST, or STL to win, So Buckets hit the games played limit on Saturday with some useful players ready to steal the win. Too bad, better luck next year!

PLAYOFFS
Chamberlain Conference
#1 Squirtle Squad (10-2)* vs #2 Fat Jubas (9-3)*

Russell Conference
#2 Chunky Monkeys (8-4)* vs #4 NJ All-Stars (8-4)

TOILET BOWL
Chamberlain Conference
#1 LA Buffy (5-7) vs #2 Sour Snails (4-8)

Russell Conference
#1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4) vs #3 Funk Coalition (3-9)

Playoff Preview RD1: 2012

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Squirtle Squad (10-2) vs #4 The 2005 NBA All-Star Team (6-6)
After missing the playoffs last year despite a winning record, Brian's back with a vengeance as he secured the best record in league behind a three game win streak to close out the season. The Squirtles are stacked with Deron Williams, Ty Lawson, Joe Johnson, and Jeremy Lin in the backcourt. In addition, their frontcourt boasts Blake Griffin, shot blocking maniac Serge Ibaka, and All-Star snubbed center Greg Monroe. Monroe has been a gem as he's tied for the team lead in games played and has been averaging 16.2 PTS, 9.8 REB, and 51.4 FG%. This team's only weaknesses are turnover and free throw percentages, but they are strong everywhere else.

The Squirtles' first round matchup delivers them The 2005 NBA All-Star Team, who somehow snuck into the playoffs with a 0.500 record while riding a three game losing streak -- all to intra-divison foes. With Dwight Howard and Samuel Dalembert anchoring the team, this is a front line that can win REB and BLK against Squirtle Squad. In fact, despite playing only 22 games to the Squirtle's 32 in WK12, the 2005 All Stars only managed to lose by one category. However, it would take a miracle for an upset here, so Brian probably isn't too worried. Maybe if Coach Steve subbed Manu Ginobili for Ricky Rubio there's a shot here. Ahem.

#2 Fat Jubas (9-3) vs #3 Half Man Half ImAsian (8-4)
Two hot teams getting ready to go ham on each other. Eric-L has repeated as Silverhawks division champs and will be looking to avenge their first round upset loss to Oliver last season. The Jubas have won four games in a row, including seven of their last eight, and are looking for a championship before Steve Nash, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen ride off into the sunset. Center Marcin Gortat has been incredible, averaging 16.0 PTS, 9.9 REB, 1.5 STL/BLK, and 56.0 FG%. Swingman Nicolas Batum is the new and improved Shane Battier, with 13.8 PTS, 1.7 3PT, and 1.0 STL/BLK a game. The stats don't show how good Eric-L's team is, but their track record speaks for itself. Can they buck their great regular season, disappointing playoffs reputation?

Oliver's team has won four out of his last five and plays a very specific brand of basketball. Led by Kevin Durant and LaMarcus Aldridge, Half Man Half ImAsian scores ultra-efficiently (1st in FG%, 3rd in PTS), protects the rim on defense, and is fantastic on the boards with a team wide effort. Despite losing a ton of players to injury this season -- Andrew Bogut and Anderson Varejao are still out -- GM Oliver has kept this team chugging right along. Jarrett Jack and Rodney Stuckey are holding down the point guard position and now that Ramon Sessions is asserting himself in a big way next to Kobe, Oliver is even more dangerous. Ersan Ilyasova has to be a strong contender for free agent of the year as he's put up 17.6 PTS, 9.0 REB, 0.9 3PT, and 58.2 FG% during his last fourteen games. This is our matchup of the week!

Russell Conference
#1 The Horizon (8-4) vs #4 NJ All-Stars (8-4)
The marketing team seems to change Thien's team name at least once a season. The team formerly known as some variation of "Dragon" has now gone poetic. After starting off the season with four losses, The Horizon has ripped off eight wins in a row and repeats as Voltron winner. Anchored by Andrew Bynum (18.3 PTS, 12.3 REB, 2.0 BLK, 58.5 FG%) and Tyson Chandler in the frontcourt, The Horizon is top of the charts in REB and BLK. Despite the shoddy marksmanship of John Wall and Paul Pierce, this team is also great in FG% as the have Dwayne Wade and Rudy Gay to balance things out. FA pickup Nikola Pekovic went through a stretch where he was throwing up 20-10s like nothing, so if he does that, Thien keep romping all the way to the Finals.

Standing in his way will be the NJ All-Stars -- soon to be Brooklyn? -- who started off 7-2 before losing two of their last three. New owner Eddie has rejuvenated this franchise and made them a dangerous team for years to come. Would you believe that Paul George and Ryan Anderson (15.9 PTS, 7.6 REB, 2.8 3PT) lead this team in games played? Ahead of LeBron James, DeAndre Jordan, and Jose Calderon! A quick glance at the roster will reveal a depth that will be immediately necessary as Kye Lowry has been put on IR and is out for the duration of the fantasy playoffs. The good news is J.J. Barea is here to pick up the slack and if he can continue his double doubles, Lowry won't be missed much. Eddie's team is deadly from beyond the arc, tremendous at swiping the ball, and very good at rebounding and passing. They're going to be a tough out and could have the team to end Thien's championship dreams.

#2 Chunky Monkeys (8-4) vs #3 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (8-4)
Evan blew out of the gates this season with five straight wins before stumbling back into the pack. A soft schedule fueled that early success so we're not sure what to make of their championship mettle. Small ball to the core, most teams won't be able to compete with the Monkeys in AST/3PT/STL/FT%. The problem is, the Monkeys are only middle of the pack in PTS. In fact, they have only two players who average more than 19.0 ppg -- Chris Paul and Andrea Bargnani -- and not much after that except for James Harden. Still, with CP3 leading the way, Evan's team always has a fighting chance. Especially this week.

Their first round opponent is Jose's 100 Acre Heffalumps, who has a bad matchup forthcoming. Jose's team also started off 5-0 -- with wins against very quality competition -- before tailing off. Their loss during the last week of the regular season gave the Thundercats crown to Evan, and a higher seed. The Heffalumps could also be called "Special K" as Kobe Bryant, Kevin Martin, Kris Humphries, and rookie Kawhi Leonard all play integral roles. Rajon Rondo could be a big help if he can rip off some AST to possibly steal the category from the Monkeys. The problem for Team Heffa is that they are actually worse in TO than the Monkeys, and aren't much higher in PTS (unless Black Mamba explodes), which could prove fatal against their small ball opponents. Jose's team does have the distance shooters to compete with Evan however, so that's another category to carefully monitor.

Toilet Bowl Preview RD1: 2012

Russell Conference
#1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4) vs #4 So Buckets (3-9)
It's been a tough season for new owner Josh. It seemed like nothing could go right for the first seven weeks as losses piled up and morale was low. The core of Pau Gasol, Andre Iguodala, and Gerald Wallace wasn't gelling and nothing was working out. However, So Buckets did go 3-2 over their last five games and rookie Kyrie Irving (18.8 PTS, 5.6 AST, 1.3 3PT) is looking like a star. Josh would love to see Evan Turner get more minutes, as he's been proving that he's fantastic with more playing time. David West has been horrific this season, averaging only 12.0 PTS and 6.6 REB. Next year is looking up for So Buckets though, as West will have another year to recover, Crash Wallace will be in Brooklyn, and another top pick could be inserted into the lineup.

What probably won't be happening this year is an upset. I mean, MoRRie's Pogiboys were a few tie-breakers short of the playoffs and are the prohibitive favorites to win the Toilet Bowl. Alvin's team started off 7-2, with a five game winning streak mid-season, before winding down and slipping up. Amare Stoudemire, face of the franchise, has had a disappointing season but his slack has been made up by Roy Hibbert, who came into his own with 13.2 PTS, 9.0 REB, 1.8 BLK, and 50.1 FG%. There are a lot of good things going with the Pogis, with Mike Conley continuing his great AST/STL, Brandon Jennings (mis-)firing from everywhere, Marcus Thornton throwing up 18.8 PTS, 2.1 3PT, and 1.5 STL, and rookie Brandon Knight proving useful. Incredibly, Carlos Delfino has started 42 games this season, anchoring the starting swingman spot. Last week the Pogiboys dispatched So Buckets pretty easily but we're hoping Josh can pull off a huge upset!

#2 Human Amoebas (5-7) vs #3 Funk Coalition (3-9)
A disappointing run for the defending champs. There hasn't been much to smile about after three wins to open the season and a 2-7 record afterwards. Oh wait, there is! The potential heist of the century as magician Eric-A turned Andray Blatche (and draft picks) into Dirk Nowitzki. Every day I struggle with if we should have vetoed that one, especially as Blatche got shut down for the season. Derrick Rose has been a headache all year with his health issues, Eric Gordon never recovered from an early season injury, and depth has been a problem despite the presence of Monta Ellis, DeMarcus Cousins, and Paul Millsap on the roster. Channing Frye (10.4 PTS, 6.1 REB, 1.5 3PT, 1.1 BLK) has been secretly nice though; too bad the Amoebas aren't a small ball team. Next year the Amoebas could have a healthy Derrick Rose, Dirk Nowtizki for a full season, an incredible keeper set, plus a top draft pick. Oh wait, that one will go to the Jedis. Thank goodness.

The Funk Coalition has a shot at stealing a win here, if Rose stays out for this week. Of course, they are coming off a patheic season and was pounded by a division boasting three 8-4 teams. Tony Parker's season has been a revelation, as he put up 19.5 PTS and 8.0 AST. In addition, Al Jefferson has returned to form as a nearly 20-10 center with great percentages but he couldn't keep the Funk from floundering. Carmelo Anthony has been an abomination this season, barely averaging 20.0 PTS. After their top six, nobody played more than 20 games for this squad, as GM Jon was flustered all season long doing the waiver wire shuffle. A big rebuild is rumored for this team and a good run in the Toilet Bowl could calm the fan base.

Chamberlain Conference
#1 LA Buffy (5-7) vs #4 Fob Stars (1-11)
Roger's team collapsed this season. Last year they went 13-6 and were the second seed heading into the playoffs. This time around they started off the season with two losses, seemingly righted the ship with three wins, and then went 2-5 the rest of the way. Traditionally a team with a dominant front line, Buffy fell far behind in REB this season (while still maintaining most of their BLK edge). Carlos Boozer has played every game this season, which is pretty incredible. And Marc Gasol has stepped up his game while Zach Randolph has been out, cementing his top tier center status with 15.5 PTS, 9.6 REB, and 1.8 BLK. Rookie Kemba Walker could mature into a keeper, making him a very necessary addition to a backcourt that boasts the corpse of Vince Carter. With Danny Granger, Tim Duncan, and Elton Brand still contributing, Buffy could make a quick return to the playoffs if they can get some help at either guard position.

In their only matchup this season, the Fob Stars got stomped by Buffy 8-1-0. Yes, the one category they won was turnovers. A closer look into what else Jimmy's squad has been up to. Last in PTS, FG%, STL; second to last in REB and AST; 14th in FT% and BLK. The good news is they are not too far behind the league average in 3PT. Is it any wonder they had only one win this season? (That one was a WK5 thriller against the then winless Jedi Knights.) Sure Zach Randolph has been out most of the season, but was Emeka Okafor, Chris Kaman, and Chauncey Billups crucial to this team's success? Maybe. Players who have notched 30 games or more for this team: Joakim Noah, Lou Williams, Nick Young, DJ Augustin, Michael Beasley. Right now the best player for the Fobbies is Noah -- acquired on draft day in exchange for Chris Bosh -- and he's not even averaging a double double. After going 6-13 last year, we thought the Fob Stars were trending up after a four win season prior to that but instead they have hit rock bottom. We guarantee the #3 pick in next year's draft, as it would take an impossible effort for Jimmy's team to advance past the first round in the Toilet Bowl. The question if this should be written off as an injury plagued season or a time to blow everything up.

#2 Sour Snails (4-8) vs #3 Jedi Knights (2-10)
Foreign territory for Trieu's mighty Sour Snails. After a championship and two straight trips to the Finals, this mighty franchise is suffering from a tough transition. Injuries hit hard too, with Stephen Curry and Danilo Gallinari out for the fantasy season. What's more difficult for this team is redefining an identity. What used to be a powerful semi-small ball team is now devoid of any passing guards except off-season acquired Raymond Felton and his 6.1 AST. Kevin Love (26.3 PTS, 13.8 REB, 1.9 3PT) is an absolute animal but he and Josh Smith (18.2 PTS, 9.7 REB, 1.9 BLK, 1.5 STL) can only do so much. Trieu did unearth rookie Klay Thompson for the stretch run and Jason Thompson is redefining "contract month" with his powerful March play. Given his track record, we'll chalk up this season to just an aberration as Trieu has dominated the last two SlamNation seasons. Now he has the chance to add a top draft pick to his core, which could be just the panacea he needs to contend again.

57 vs 7. That's the difference in moves between these two teams, our league's leader and bottom dweller in that category. GM Trieu has been fighting hard to keep his team in contention while GM Chris has been content with some light fishing. In fact, the Jedi Knights have made a total of nine moves in three seasons (one each in 2010-11). Some owners make more than that in a month. What did Master Yoda say? "Do, or do not. There is no try." Yes, we agree, there is no try. Startingly, Chris' team won their last two games of the season. Of course, upon closer inspection, they only played six players each week and yet somehow eked out wins over Trieu and Jimmy. What gives? Well, we're just happy the Knights escaped a winless season. We're looking at how this rebuild will go, as franchise cornerstone Dirk Nowitzki was deported and there's not a whole lot else on this roster outside of a resurgent David Lee (19.2 PTS, 9.8 REB, 50.2 FG%), injury plagued Nene, and super bombermen Wesley Matthews and Dorell Wright. Use the Force!

Playoff & Toilet Bowl Seedings: 2012

PLAYOFFS
*= division winner

Chamberlain Conference

#1 Squirtle Squad (10-2)*

#2 Fat Jubas (9-3)*

#3 Half Man Half ImAsian (8-4)

#4 The 2005 NBA All-Star Team (6-6)

Russell Conference

#1 The Horizon (8-4)*

#2 Chunky Monkeys (8-4)*

#3 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (8-4)

#4 NJ All-Stars (8-4)

TOILET BOWL

Chamberlain Conference

#1 LA Buffy (5-7)

#2 Sour Snails (4-8)

#3 Jedi Knights (2-10)

#4 Fob Stars (1-11)

Russell Conference

#1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4)

#2 Human Amoebas (5-7)

#3 Funk Coalition (3-9)

#4 So Buckets (3-9)

Tie Breakers
Divisional Winner
There was no dispute on the Chamberlain Conference side of things, as Squirtle Squad and Fat Jubas clearly took their divisions. Congratulations to Brian and Eric-L. Over on the Russell Conference side, the picture was a lot cloudier.

Five teams had 8-4 records and we had to go to multiple tie-breakers to determine both divisional winners and wild card entrants. First, over on the Voltron division, The Horizon and MoRRie's Pogiboys were tied in Overall and H2H records. Division record went to The Horizon, as Thien was 5-2 in their division while Alvin's team was 4-3 versus the rest of the Voltron. Voltron winner: The Horizon

On the Thundercats side, three teams were tied at 8-4. The H2H record among all three teams was this: Chunky Monkeys and 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps both went 3-1 while NJ All-Stars went 0-4, eliminating them from the divisional championship. After that, the Monkeys and Heffalumps tied for their personal H2H, moving us to divisional records. Evan won out with a 5-1 intra-divisonal record, while Jose was only 4-2. Thundercats winner: Chunky Monkeys

Between The Horizon and Chunky Monkeys, Thien won their only matchup for the year, giving his squad the #1 playoff seed.

Playoff Wild Cards
This leaves Jose, Alvin, and Eddie to battle it out for two wild card slots. After tying in Overall Record, the rules state we move on to H2H record between the three teams. 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps secures one of the wild card slots based on their 3-0 record (NJ All-Stars went 1-2 and Pogiboys 0-2). With Jose taken care of, we reset tie-breakers.

The NJ All-Stars then secures the other wildcard spot based on their H2H record versus Pogiboys, an epic 9-0-0 win in WK1.

The Heffalumps get the higher seed over NJ All-Stars because of their superior 2-0 head-to-head record between the two of them.

Toilet Bowl Tie-Breaks
No big problems here, with only Funk Coalition and So Buckets tied at 3-9 but with the tie-break going to Jon for his lone H2H win versus Josh.

Playoffs

Toilet Bowl