Two-Thirds: Next Four

Looking at the second half of the potential playoff suitors, we have MELO winning their WK11 matchup to move ahead of the the rest of the crowded pack. MELO is the only Russell Conference team represented here, with ILCN, SQSQ, and SCRM all hailing from the Chamberlain Conference. [ Top Four | Bottom Four ]

MELO Melo My Mind (7-4)

We predicted that Jack’s rookie season would be a successful one but they’ve outshone expectations by starting the season off 4-1 and cementing themselves as a playoff contender. Three straight losses after that first month did give MELO pause, but they’ve recovered with two more victories right before the All-Star break.

Jaylen Brown emerged as an All-Star this season, and he now gives MELO and incredible backcourt of Bradley Beal, DeAaron Fox, and Brown. (Recall that Fox and Brown came over for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and OG Anunoby, which now looks slightly tipped in MELO’s favor.) Oh and there’s also Buddy Hield, no slouch himself.

On the season, MELO has an ODE rating of 4/9/11 behind tremendous 3PT shooting, excellent PTS, and a nice bit of thievery, ranking sixth overall in STL. What they’ve been lacking is mostly AST and BLK, and both of their percentages are less than league average.

During the past month, MELO’s defense has taken a tumble to the bottom of the league though as Andre Drummond got sent home from Cleveland to await a new NBA destination. (Strangely, Nikola Vucevic is only averaging a paltry 0.6 BLK this season.) Into the defensive breach steps Dwight Howard, who may not get an elevated role in Philadelphia, as the Sixers may start to be more spare with Joel Embiid’s minutes.

And for the long term, MELO will have 2021 RD1.2 James Wiseman, who looks legit and promising as a future franchise piece. That’s seven outright keepers, meaning MELO could even package for a trade eventually. Good problems to have!

The only blemish for MELO so far has been the low Games Played ranking — they have the second lowest GP in the league. While there have been no outright lineup violations, MELO has only fit in 22GP in four out of five weeks from WK6-10, which is flirting with disaster. Could it be rookie head coaching woes, a series of injuries, or something else? We’ll see in the next month of MELO can become a dark horse title contender but so far the future looks great here for a team that is both deep and young!

ILCN IL Conceived (6-4-1)

What does it take to go from fringe playoff contender to fringe championship contender? How about hitting on two huge picks in 2021 RD2.8 and RD4.3 Jerami Grant and Malik Beasley?! GM Frank proves his drafting chops yet again by hitting on Grant, who is now the man in Detroit and proving that he was right to leave Denver. While Beasley has been less than a role model in his personal life, his impressive PTS and 3PT makes him a perfect swingman for ILCN and helps to offset the loss of Jaren Jackson Jr. to IR for most of the season. (At this point, can Jackson ever stay healthy?)

ILCN started the season off 6-2, before going 0-1-1 in recent weeks. However, all of those matchups were close and against surging teams so it speaks well of ILCN’s dark horse title chances. Led by Luka Doncic, ILCN has the league’s top ranked offense and a more than serviceable defense. Sure, their FG% and TO are terrible, but that’s to be expected.

Enes Kanter has been a double-double machine while Draymond Green has returned to his triple-double ways. Plus it’s been a Poku Party as rookie Aleksej Pokusevski has started to get major minutes in Cleveland. How high can ILCN go? There’s two more matchups left against top contenders — WK13 versus CHMK and WK15 versus FJUB — but it looks like we’ll get to see this team of the future compete for a ring right now.

SQSQ Squirtle Squad (6-5)

More was expected from SQSQ this season, as they made a bold pre-draft move for LeBron James, hoping to cash in on last year’s first year finish. Instead, SQSQ started the season off with three straight losses and it’s been streaky ever since.

SQSQ’s fourth and third ranked offensive and defensive ratings are stellar but their last place rating in FT% and TO means they’re starting each matchup off with two lost categories. Aside from AST, SQSQ hasn’t been top three in any category this season, and it looks like Giannis Antetokounmpo and LeBron have an equal chance of heading to the Toilet Bowl as they do to the postseason.

Most of SQSQ’s 2021 draft came up a bust, with DeMarcus Cousins out of a job, Bogdan Bogdanovich barely returning to play, and rookie Patrick Williams already cut. At least SQSQ hasn’t stood pat, as they’ve swung some deals during the season, moving Tobias Harris for Jrue Holiday, Gary Trent Jr. for Mason Plumlee (a re-acquire from an in-draft trade), and Daniel Theis for Malik Monk. And there has been the return of John Wall to fantasy relevance, along with good seasons from Lonzo Ball and Alec Burks.

Unfortunately, unless SQSQ can really pick it up, they are likely out of the championship picture after moving all in with King James.

SCRM Screamin Eagles (5-5-1)

The second of our three new teams, SCRM has battling around 0.500 for most of the season, losing to the top teams and winning against the creampuffs. SCRM is just inside the playoff picture but with three tough matchups coming up, they could drop out without a strong finish.

This is a team built for the future though, with Anthony Davis and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander leading the way. SCRM boasts a top two ranking in STL and have the best TO in the land. Their defense is in good shape though, with Davis, OG Anunoby, Dejounte Murray, and Mitchell Robinson putting the stops on foes.

What SCRM don’t have is a lot of offense, as they are near the bottom in PTS and AST. Norm Powell has been a revelation, and he joins Gilgeous-Alexander and Davis as 20+ ppg scorers, but that hasn’t been enough to lift SCRM out of a bottom two offensive rating.

With just one more win, SCRM will have already tied what previous owner HSTL was able to muster together in a much longer season. With the chance to add more talent to an impressive core, SCRM should be headed to the playoffs as soon as next season! 

Two-Thirds Season: Bottom Four

Continuing our two-thirds of the season series, here are the bottom four teams at WK10 of the season. [ Two-Thirds Season: Top Four ]

KSKT Krispy Kreme (3-7)

Technically, KSKT is only bottom four due to a tie-break — with FUNK — but it’s been a rough rookie year for KSKT either way. They are not mathematically out of playoff contention, but with only six weeks left to go, KSKT will have to make up a lot of ground to sneak into the playoffs. For a future focused team, a nice showing in the Toilet Bowl would definitely seem to be more important.

KSKT sputtered out of the gate with five straight losses — including matchups with FJUB and SWMP, but have found their footing in recent weeks, with a 3-2 record and a highlight win versus CHMK in WK7. Looking further ahead, KSKT likely has their sights set on a WK13 matchup versus SQSQ, which should start a long tradition of compelling father-son face-offs.

GM Matt has been quick to action, having already participated in four trades and brought in the likes of Mason Plumlee, Jonas Valanciunas (both since traded away), Elfrid Payton, Clint Capela, Keldon Johnson, and Gary Trent Jr. The cost has been Donte DiVincenzo and Malcolm Brogdon and most importantly, a 2022 RD1 and RD2 that are owed CHMK. With the likelihood that KSKT is headed to the Toilet Bowl, it could be a prime pick for someone else that KSKT will be playing for.

But we must trust the process, as KSKT has earned themselves huge credit already as the top ranked Games Played owner in Slam so far, with an impressive string of maxed out weeks. Coach Matt is getting the most value out of their roster and that’s going to lead to long term success! In the short term, KSKT has a ODE splits of 9/3/5 over the past month — good for third best in the league over that span — exhibiting strengths in PTS, FG%, REB, BLK, and TO. While they are lacking in the passing and long-range shooting departments, KSKT is still putting in the foundation for a playoff contender.

And the future is bright with Zion Williamson, Michael Porter Jr., 2021 RD1.4 Tyrese Haliburton, Capela, and continued flashes from Coby White, Saddiq Bey, and Keldon Johnson. Even with Caris LeVert yet to make his Pacers debut, at least Kristaps Porzingis is back and doing his unicorn things. If KSKT can get two more wins, that equal what the downtrodden CMTO franchise had accomplished in the past three years. Go get’em tiger! I mean, lion?

FOBS Fob Stars (2-8)

Something terrible has happened: after five straight post-season appearances, FOBS have collapsed and are likely headed toward their worst season since 2015. What happened?! It’s still Dame Time around here, as Damian Lillard continues to push his game up to legendary levels. Last year's playoff hero Jamal Murray has recently reclaimed his groove as well, and the newly freed Jarrett Allen is proving to be a monster in Cleveland.

Old hands Bojan Bogdanovic and Goran Dragic have been fine too, while pre-draft trade acquisition Montrezl Harrell and 2021 RD4.5 Dillon Brooks have been very solid rotation pieces. Oh yeah, and John Collins is still out here, a little less spicy than last year’s version, but still excellent overall. So what gives?

Sure, Rui Hachimura has been just okay, and 2021 RD1.12 rookie Obi Toppin has already been cut by GM Jimmy, but those are the only two semi-disappointments we can see here. Heck, sophomore De’Andre Hunter was scooped up in 2020 at RD1.5, but FOBS got him this season at the low low price of a 2021 RD5.12, and Hunter was well on his way to a breakout campaign before hitting the IR.

We could blame a thirteenth ranked Games Played score, but there’s been a solid GP most weeks for FOBS, and only one violation. Hum, could an uptick be coming? At least over the past month, FOBS have ODE splits of 9/11/4, which is a huge improvement from their overall season. Aside from a real lack of 3PT, AST, and STL — all of which could be remedied by adding some guard types — FOBS is not terrible. We’re seeing some dark horse Toilet Bowl contention vibes here, and that could give FOBS the chance to bounce back to their winning ways next season.

TRUO Truo Thien (2-8)

We said pre-season that TRUO had hit rock bottom, but we were wrong: this season is TRUO’s rock bottom, and with only two wins against fellow bottom feeders KSKT and FUNK, things clearly haven’t been great. But there could be some sunshine ahead.

Jimmy Butler is still a top-twenty player, Julius Randle has emerged as an All-Star and a legitimate franchise piece, Jordan Clarkson is the leading Sixth Man of the Year, Kemba Walker has returned from injury — with Lauri Markkanen on the way — and the youngish wing mishmash of Andrew Wiggins, pre-draft trade acquisition Kelly Oubre Jr., Aaron Gordon, and Tim Hardaway Jr., are all useful pieces. That’s a solid nine-man rotation there right? Who cares if 2021 RD1.5 Deni Avdija has been slow to cook? Avdija looks talented and is going to get better.

Our advanced analytics say TRUO could be the eighth-best team the rest of the way — their third-worst combined ODE says otherwise — so there’s the possibility of a Toilet Bowl run here. Bringing in some top talent through a loaded draft next season could be just the ticket for TRUO to return to the playoffs. GM Thien has been uncharacteristically only league average in Games Played — while being very characteristically leading the way for Moves — but we have no doubt they’ll be grinding hard to unearth some gems.

We’ll be curious if Butler and Walker are dangled for trade talks, as they are the two age outliers here on a team that is continually getting younger. We’re cheering for TRUO to get a top two pick next season, and to do that they’ll need to make a run in the Toilet Bowl!

SPDE Spade (1-9)

Speaking of rock bottoms, here’s Spade! The lone Chamberlain team in the cellar, SPDE isn’t just the worst team in the conference, they’re the worst team in the league. Actually, SPDE has been here before, as three seasons ago they recorded just two wins in twenty-one weeks. However, this year’s 0-9 start was pretty sad, with only one close loss to speak of. However, a WK10 win versus FUNK got SPDE out of the winless column so there’s that at least. For a franchise that is used to regular season success, and went 26-11-2 in the last two years, this is all bad news.

Injuries have hit SPDE hard this season, as per semi-usual. Kevin Love, Hassan Whiteside, Danilo Gallinari, JJ Redick, and others have missed plenty of games this year, with the first two barely seeing the court if at all. There’s no doubt the Kawhi Leonard and Devin Booker duo are still tops — and sophomore Tyler Herro has about as advertised — but the big plus this season has been the return of Victor Oladipo, who SPDE gambled on with a 2021 RD1.9 and won out. Still, for a team touted as a title contender heading into the season, SPDE has so far been anything but.

The thing is, there’s an easy culprit here: SPDE is third-to-last in Games Played, with two violations in ten weeks, and the first six weeks of the season were just a mess for them. Did this time period coincide with Randall doing doctor things and saving lives? Sure! But hey, we are a fantasy basketball league, and we show no mercy for bad fake coaching. I mean, our other doctor, ILCN Frank, is top three in Games Played, and he’s the (fake?) busiest person I know!

We expect SPDE to make a big play for a Toilet Bowl victory, which could net them some much needed youth to build out alongside Booker and Herro. Sure, we’d be curious to see a full scale rebuild here, but SPDE has stuck with his core for long time, and we don't think the trade fireworks are coming anytime soon. Or are they?!

Two-Thirds Season: Top Four

With ten weeks down — we’re currently in an extended WK11 due to All-Star break — it’s time to look at how our teams are shaping up so far this year. Shockingly, there’s only five more weeks to go, and the playoffs are just a month or so away! We’ll take a look at our top four teams, the bottom four, and then the other eight teams next week.

SWMP Swamp Dragons (8-1-1)

After an aborted 2020 campaign, SWMP picked up right where they left off last season as they continue to dispense beatdowns on the rest of the league. In addition, SWMP are 2-1 in their matchups versus the other three top contenders this season — FJUB, SOUR, CHMK — with their lone loss coming by one block against CHMK in WK6.

Our new advanced analytics system had SWMP as the top rated team coming into the season and they still hold down the top spot, along with a league leading ODE rating and splits of 2/1/3. So who can slow down this juggernaut? Well, there was the recent tie to ICLN that raised some eyebrows, as SWMP had to dig deep into the rotation to play someone named Saben Lee. (Seriously, who is that?) Over the past month, SWMP has somehow dropped down to thirteenth on offense and just league average on defense. Their PTS have really suffered while their 3PT have dropped low as well.

Of course, this could all be a temporary blip as the roster is chock-full of talent. Nikola Jokic and Paul George are both at or near their career highs, Christian Wood has further cemented his promise as a do-everything big man, and even 2021 RD3.4 pick Mike Conley has returned to form this year — finally making it as an NBA All-Star this season.

While Deandre Ayton has taken a step back overall — taking Ayton first in 2019 over Luka Doncic could haunt SWMP for two decades — RD3.14 find Chris Boucher is providing insane BLK and 3PT numbers, possibly making Ayton expendable. Conspiracy theory: Was CHMK’s advice to take Ayton over Doncic Evan’s greatest power move to keep his cousin away from a ring?

In addition to everything listed above, there’s also ultra-efficient Khris Middleton to tie everything together for our 2021 title favorites. With the potential return of D’Angelo Russell to the court, SWMP should have an excellent shot at their first Slam title this season.

FJUB Fat Jubas (8-2)

Nipping closely at SWMP’s heels are the surprising FJUB, who entered the season as a solid but not quite contending team, and are now squarely in the conversation for a proper championship chase. Led by the big-impact, small-stature backcourt of Fred VanVleet and Chris Paul, FJUB are on a five game winning streak and are peaking as the second-best ODE team, with splits of 5/2/7. Essentially punting PTS and FG%, FJUB combines a league-leading defense with efficiency from the line, low turnovers, and impressive three-point shooting.

There’s a distinct dearth of rebounding on this team — as Myles Turner and Brook Lopez are both notorious bigs who can’t grab boards for some reason — but the trade off of Jrue Holiday for Tobias Harris indicates that GM Eric knows that securing misses are part of the defensive equation. The answer could be playing free-agent acquisition Darius Bazley more, as the twenty-year old is capable of leading FJUB in rebounds, ahead of Harris and Robert Covington.

Feeling perky about his title chances, Eric has made more than just the Harris move so far this season. FJUB shipped out Jonas Valanciunas and Elfrid Payton for Malcolm Brogdon back in January, and the recent acquisitions of Ricky Rubio and Seth Curry — in exchange for Kevin Huerter — should replenish their depth.

We’re looking hard at a WK13 matchup versus SOUR to assess FJUB’s true contender status, but if FJUB can somehow win a title this season, it would have been an impressive eight years between championships!

SOUR Sour Snails (7-2-1)

Of course, the road to the 2021 title still goes through Sour Town, and to no one’s surprise, the healthy returns of Kevin Durant and Steph Curry have taken SOUR back to the top. Despite semi-stumbling out of the gate 2-1-1 — with a first week loss to ABCX and a WK4 tie versus SCRM — there’s no question Trieu’s team is still the one to beat for any true contender. With a current matchup with CHMK this week, and future nationally broadcasted games versus FJUB and SWMP in WK13 and WK16 respectively, we’re gonna find out just how scary this version of SOUR is.

On paper, this is possibly SOUR’s weakest title contender, with Curry and Durant flanked by Zach LaVine and Pascal Siakam and a supporting cast that is less than fearsome. Yeah, Richaun Holmes is quietly throwing up double-doubles and PJ Washingon, Harrison Barnes, and Serge Ibaka have all been pretty good, but the pure star power of SOUR seems to be a bit diminished this year.

Then again, SOUR are still the second-best ODE team on the season and have even elevated themselves to the top spot over the past month, with splits of 3/4/2. They are basically top-three in every category save REB, AST, and BLK, where they are about league average. Still, as is usually the case, there’s not a whole lot of teams who can match up to SOUR, and even with the possibility of Curry or Durant missing games, SOUR is the team to beat until they’re not!

CHMK Chunky Monkeys (7-3)

After coming out the gate with five wins in six games, CHMK might be sputtering a bit, as they’ve dropped two games recently, to KSKT and SQSQ. Are the father-son duo CHMK’s Kryptonite? Maybe!

With three Russell Conference regular season titles in the past four years — and their still shiny title from 2018 — CHMK knows they can win, but do they have their sights set on a championship this year? Trading away LeBron James pre-draft indicated a sell off of veteran assets but then CHMK moved an in-his-prime Clint Capela and young talent Keldon Johnson for Jonas Valanciunas two months ago — while securing KSKT’s 2022 RD1 and RD2 as well — which would seem like a turn toward contention again. Make up your mind Evan!

On one hand, there is the very young core of Bam Adebayo, Collin Sexton, Mikal Bridges, and potentially Thomas Bryant. But then the heart of the team is still James Harden and Kyle Lowry, who are both on significantly different timelines. CHMK has been slightly above average in combined ODE this season, but their offense has taken a bit hit with the loss of King James, and their floor spacing has become almost non-existent, as they rank second-to-last in 3PT this season. Still, CHMK is not to be trifled with, as they project to be the third-best team the rest of the way, according to our advanced analytics.

So I guess we’ll find out as the trade deadline nears if CHMK is serious about making a title push this year, or if they’ll possibly move Lowry — or Harden?! — for more future focused assets.

Weekly: Fantastic Four

Last time we looked at our three bottom dwellers. So this time let’s flip it around and look at our top teams after six weeks, three of which are from the Chamberlain Conference. Let's step it up Russell!

SBUK So Buckets (6-0)
After a tough season last year, So Buckets are here to claim contender status once again. Raise your hand if you thought rookie RJ Barrett would be this good? With 15.4 PTS, 5.5 REB, 3.3 AST, plus 1.4 STL and a three, Barrett is producing quite well, albeit with a shocking 52.4 FT% — yes, that’s free throws.

Throw in the free agent pickups of rookie Eric "new Warriors leading scorer" Paschall and Dillon Brooks and that’s two more pieces added to an already formidable squad. I guess winning the Toilet Bowl really can jump you right back to the top eh? This team is loaded and even with Kyrie Irving in and out of the lineup, they should be able to fight for a division title and a deep playoff run.

SBUK has been riding its second ranked defense to the top — Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert now have Thomas Bryant next to them — while pairing it with a league average offense and some not-so-great efficiency. While So Buckets sit atop the standings, they are only fourth in net ODE rating. Not that it matters because wins are wins!

The only caveat to SBUK’s early success is that they’ve only picked up two wins over 0.500+ teams — and one of those was a shortened WK1 matchup versus Spade. Still, this is great bounce back season for Josh and we’re happy to see him on top!

SPDE Spade (5-1)
After that first week loss to So Buckets in WK1, Spade has ripped off five wins in a row, including a tight 5-4 win last week against Squirtle Squad — taking the win by one BLK or six AST. On the season, SPDE is measuring out as the top rated ODE team, with a third-best offense paired with top four defense and efficiency. The only weakness they’ve exhibited so far is a lack of STL, but with Kawhi Leonard back in action, even that slight issue could be resolved.

Is Spade the best team in SlamNation? Well, we’ll find out when they get hit with their usual spate of injuries. For now, Brook Lopez is a little dinged up, Kawhi is always on load management, and Derrick Favors remains on the bench. Also, RIP 3.11 pick Zach Collins, who is basically out for the season after dislocating his shoulder.

Still, Devin Booker and Kevin Love are back, Al Horford and Jeff Teague are still doing their thing, and OG Anunoby is in the midst of a breakout season — 2.1 combined STL/BLK with 1.7 3PT. SPDE goes twelve deep when healthy and all it’ll take is Randall’s prayers to keep them upright and headed toward another Finals appearance.

SQSQ Squirtle Squad (5-1)
Proving that last year’s twelve wins were no mirage, Squirtle Squad and possible back-to-back NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo are proving to always be formidable, ripping off five wins to start the season until they dropped a nail biter to Spade in WK6.

We want to talk about Squirtle’s breakout player of the year: Bam… Haha, just kidding. While the trade for Bam Adebayo and the just returning Blake Griffin has been stellar — Adebayo has been basically Giannis-lite minus the scoring and threes — the real star of the early season has been sophomore Devonte’ Graham, who has seized the point guard role in Charlotte and is putting up 18.2 PTS, 7.4 AST, and 3.4 3PT per game. Dejounte who?! (Yes, Dejounte Murray is back from injury and he’s been okay…) While Graham isn’t a youngster — he’s twenty-four already — getting him for $0 FAAB is the kind of move that could make a good team into a great team.

And while GM Brian lost faith in Moritz Wagner rather quickly, he’s now back on the squad and doing some breaking out of his own. And now Carmelo Anthony and Blake are here! Phew, are we gushing? This team is well balanced too, with a top five offense and a top three defense. The only worry is a horrible efficiency, mostly due to a wretched showing in FT%, which can’t be helped since Giannis is shooting 58.6 FT% on eleven attempts a game. Even Lou Williams and Blake’s fine free throw shooting can’t offset Giannis and Bam’s poor form there. But who cares!

SQSQ is ranked first in AST, second in REB, and has top five showings in PTS, STL, FG%. (BLK and 3PT could use some juicing up maybe.) We’ll see what Squirtle Squad is capable of as they have a matchup with undefeated So Buckets this week, and the winner will ascend to first in the Chamberlain Conference, if not the entire league.

FOBS Fob Stars (5-1)
Our lone team from the Russell Conference to make an appearance, FOB toppled Funk Coalition last week to end an undefeated November. They’ve picked up 5-4 wins every week, and their lone loss has been to Swamp Dragons. With a cupcake schedule coming up, Fob Stars could very well be on a seven game winning streak before they face off against SQSQ in a big WK10 matchup around Christmas. This seems like the year Jimmy finally is breaking through and it’s a welcome sight to behold for Fob fans around the world.

Damian Lillard has been spectacular as usual and he’s gotten extra offensive help from new acquisitions Bojan Bogdanovic, Jabari Parker (stepping in for the injured John Collins), and the previously mocked Jordan Clarkson (sorry!). Rookie Rui Hachimura is a double-double threat too, as he’s averaging 13.3 PTS and 5.6 REB on stellar percentages.

Most of all, pretty Ricky Rubio has fully returned to his pre-Utah days with 7.8 AST and 1.2 STL, while adding 1.3 3PT to boot. The two headed center mashup of Jarrett Allen and DeAndre Jordan seem to be working out as well, even if they can’t quite pick up FOB’s league worst BLK numbers.

So what is the top end for FOB? Well, their ODE rating is a second in efficiency, tenth in offense, and thirteen on defense. That’s mostly middling actually. But while Fob Stars aren’t great in most categories — outside of TOs — this has been a well coached team that makes few mistakes and is capable of toppling anyone in their way.

Weekly: Winless Teams

Let’s get an early look at our three winless teams. Is hope on the horizon or should these three prepare themselves for a Toilet Bowl run already? Interestingly, three of the five top rookies went to these franchises, so we’ll tackle them in that order.

SNAC Snack Bears (0-3)
After a busy preseason flurry of trades and the drafting of uber-rookie Zion Williamson, we thought Snack Bears was headed for a title run. Instead, Williamson has yet to see the court and SNAC is floundering, losing to FUNK, CHMK, and CMTO in successive weeks. What in the world is going on?!

Even without Zion, this should still be a powerhouse team. But De’Aaron Fox, Bradley Beal, Josh Richardson, Nikola Vucevic, and Kristaps Porzingis have all started the season off ice cold, with none of them shooting better than 43% from the field. That has just crushed Snack and ownership seems ready to hit the panic button.

While Shai Gilgeous-Alexander has emerged as an offensive bright spot, the rest of the keeper core here has been underwhelming -- especially when other traded off pieces such as Bam Adebayo and Jaylen Brown have been outstanding. Even with draftees Will Barton and Cody Zeller throwing up incredible PTS/REB numbers, this team just can’t seem to get it going.

Snack are ranked top five in PTS, 3PT, AST, REB, and BLK but awful in FG% and not great in STL. Of course, those are the two exact areas a healthy Zion would help immediately. With a net offensive rating of third, and a defensive rating of sixth, all SNAC needs is for that second-to-last efficiency to perk up. The question is: can they do it without Zion? Or will big moves be coming soon?

ABCX Another Bad Creation (0-3)
We declared that there was a rebuild ahead for ABC and so far we’ve seen nothing on this young season that might say otherwise. They have the lowest combined ODE rating at 14 / 16 / 11 and rank in the bottom two in 3PT, REB, and BLK. But hey, their two percentage categories aren’t too bad! ABC has also been unfortunate to face off against two 3-0 teams in recent weeks, and we’ll see if they can beat fellow winless team Buffy in WK4’s matchup.

The good news is that 2020 RD1.2 Ja Morant has been as good as advertised, with 17.8 PTS, 5.2 AST, and 46.2 FG%. The lack of many threes isn’t a huge factor as projections had Morant as a non-deep threat anyway. And while Russell Westbrook may have lost his triple-doubleness upon his move to Houston, his improved FG% actually makes him a much better fantasy player and his overall numbers are still stellar.

ABC actually could be competitive, as they have a decent bunch of veterans behind those two in LaMarcus Aldridge, Evan Fournier, TJ Warren, and even an Isaiah Thomas sighting. With Derrick Rose and Enes Kanter on the mend — although Eric Gordon is out for six weeks — that’s not terrible right? We foresee a win coming for Another Bad Creation soon and with a bit of health, they could have a path out of the cellar.

BUFF Buffy (0-3)
Roger’s team has faced a similarly tough schedule, with opening losses to undefeated Squirtles and So Buckets out of the gate. A third loss to top ODE ranked Spade could point to just a vicious first month of games for Buffy. One of ABC or BUFF will emerge with a win this week, and after that it’ll be off to the races to see who can rack up win number two.

GM Roger scooped up rookies De’Andre Hunter and Cam Reddish during the draft but his best move so far was grabbing another rookie, Kendrick Nunn, off the free agent pile. The Miami scoring dynamo is already in the Rookie of the Year conversation and is putting up 16.9 PTS, 2.3 3PT, and 1.6 STL per game. Nunn has made the slow starts by Hunter and Reddish irrelevant.

On top of Nunn's success, Malcom Brogdon, Domantas Sabonis, and Brandon Ingram are all off to career years, with each averaging absurd numbers that look pretty sustainable! Add in a sprinkle of Dwight Howard magic and Buffy fans have a lot to cheer for, even with new franchise cornerstone Ben Simmons struggling early with injury.

The ODE ratings for Buffy agree that they should be much better, as their combined net rating is fifth overall, with a fourth rated efficiency backed by a seventh rated defense and eleventh rated offense. Buffy is tremendous in FT%, STL, TO, and is now no longer an offense-first team. The return of Kyle Kuzma will be a welcome boon to their shooting woes and astonishingly, Brogdon, Sabonis, and Paul Millsap mitigate Ben Simmons’ awful FT% with their high attempts and incredible percentages. If Buffy can add a splash of 3PT and BLK, it looks like they could be one of the more competitive teams around!

Playoff Picture: Feb 3

With four weeks left in the regular season, the postseason picture is starting to clarify, and also get bunched up! Remember, our new playoff format is: "Top eight teams in the Power Rankings are re-seeded, irrespective of conference. Each playoff round and consolation round will be re-seeded as well."

Barring big collapses, six of the spots are probably locked up, three each from Russell and Chamberlain Conference. Swamp Dragons, Chunky Monkeys, Fat Jubas from Russell and Squirtle Squad, Spade, and Sour Snails from Chamberlain.

There are also four certain Toilet Bowl participants, as Snack Bears, Hilt the Stilt, Team Cameltoe, and Another Bad Creation have all locked up appearances in the upcoming losers tourney

That leaves six teams on the bubble for two spots, teams with records ranging from 9-7 to 7-9, with a slew of possibilities in-between. Right now Team Thien and Funk Coalition are in with their dual 9-7 records but with another month of games to go, anything could happen. Let’s take a look at what’s ahead for our bubble teams.

Team Thien (9-7)
Boogie Time is mired in a 2-5 tailspin, especially after a WK16 loss to three-win Another Bad Creation last week. The return of DeMarcus Cousins — and the shocking productivity of Jahlil Okafor — helps but remaining matchups against three ten-win teams and a final week versus So Buckets could lead to Thien missing the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. Playoff Chance: 20%

Funk Coalition (9-7)
After suffering through two losses to ten-win teams, Funk picked up a short-handed win versus So Buckets last week and will now cruise into a soft last month of games, highlighted by matchups versus fellow bubble teams IL Conceived and LA Buffy, and then two of the surefire Toilet Bowl teams. The playoffs should be a lock! Playoff Chance: 90%

Fob Stars (8-7-1)
With a 7-1-1 record in the past two months, Fob Stars have been pretty much the hottest team in the league. The schedule toughens up considerably down the stretch though as they face Squirtle Squad, Sour Snails, and Spade to clean up the regular season. Fob has been through this gauntlet before though, and emerged from WK10-12 with two wins and a tie versus the exact same opponents, so it’s quite possible Fob has the firepower to compete with the best, assuming Jamal Murray returns from injury soon! Playoff Chance: 70%

So Buckets (8-7-1)
Since becoming a father in early December, So Buckets attention has been reasonably focused on their new responsibilities. Even though they sport one of the league’s best defenses, Buckets has been a little erratic week to week and while they have an easy matchup against Snack Bears this week, it’s likely their playoff hopes will come down to a WK20 matchup versus Team Thien, assuming they can beat one of Swamp Dragons or Fat Jubas in the coming weeks. Playoff Chance: 40%

LA Buffy (7-9)
Our league leader in Games Played, Buffy has been scrapping hard all year to stay in the playoff picture and they’ll need to keep fighting if they want to get into the playoffs. Three games against winning teams remain, including one each versus Chunky Monkeys and Swamp Dragons. Buffy will likely need three wins to enter the playoff picture and that is going to be awful difficult. Still, they’re statistically still in it! Playoff Chance: 10%

IL Conceived (7-9)
Left for dead after a 2-7 start, IL Conceived has somehow become an offensive powerhouse after being a defense-first team for most of the season. With key wins versus Fat Jubas, Team Thien, and Chunky Monkeys in the past month, IL Conceived now find themselves riding a 4-1 streak and could sneak into the playoff picture despite a tough last two weeks of the regular season. Still, with Luka Doncic on board, anything is possible! Playoff Chance: 15%

Weekly: Jan 20

For our last second set look at our teams, we clean up with a pair of 5-9 teams and two Russell Conference powerhouses sliding down the charts...

IL Conceived (5-9)
Slumming around the bottom of the standings in his sophomore campaign, newish owner Frank has weathered some injuries and slow starts to play 0.500 ball after a rough 2-6 start to the season. While clearly headed for the Toilet Bowl, there’s a shot at another deep run there, and with Dennis Smith Jr.’s name in NBA trade talks, IL Conceived could be looking at a further boost in the near future. As for Smith’s sophomore counterpart, Donovan Mitchell, he’s been back to top numbers with 24.7 PTS, 4.4 AST, 2.7 3PT, 1.4 STL, and 46.4 FG%. Sophomore slump over!

And there’s no need to talk about Luka Doncic and Jaren Jackson Jr.’s rookie impact and prospects, as it’s quite possible Frank nabbed the two top rookies from this year’s draft. Even disappointing dispersal keeper Cedi Osman has stepped up lately, although the Dario Saric experience still remains underwhelming. If veterans Marc Gasol and Eric Gordon can stay the course, there should be enough depth here to mount a challenge in the Toilet Bowl and possibly play spoiler for some playoff teams.

The weird thing is that a team that seemed defense first is now very offense heavy. For the month of December, IL Conceived had an ODE split of 12/6/12, but for the past month they’ve been at 4/12/13. That means while their efficiency has stayed about the same, their offensive rating is suddenly better than even their strong defensive rating had been before! A lot of that is due to their AST ranking jumping from twelfth to second in the league, and it clearly shows how the return of Draymond Green’s out-of-position numbers are having a huge impact. We’re not entirely sure if the past month's offensive output has been a mirage but I guess we’ll find out over the next couple of weeks!

LA Buffy (5-9)
We thought things were trending upward for a 2-3 Buffy last time we looked, but instead they’ve been 1-6 over the past two months and are now firmly out of the playoff picture. Aside from a WK3 win against Spade, all of Buffy’s wins have come against fellow bottom dwellers. (At least they’ve won more games already than 2018's three victories!) And it’s not like Roger hasn't been trying his best, as he’s piloted Buffy to the highest Games Played in the league. So what’s going on?

Well, there’s a simple answer: Buffy can’t play defense. His team has been remarkable consistent all season long on offense, ranking eighth in every monthly split. Plus their efficiency rating has consistent as well, with a high of first in November and dropping only to third for the past thirty days. However, Buffy's defense sucks as they haven’t been able to rise above fourteenth defensive rating in any month of the season and that basically means they can’t REB, STL, BLK worth a damn.

Looking over this roster, we see an all offensive team that consists of rookie Trae Young and a bunch of scoring types: Klay Thompson, Kyle Kuzma, Brandon Ingram, Domantas Sabonis, Nikola Mirotic, and Bojan Bogdanovic. There’s very few players who average over a steal or a block per game and while Sabonis is a double-double machine, he and Kuzma/Favors have not been enough on the boards. There’s an easy solution here too: trade! An offense for defense swap would breath new life into Buffy as they are pretty strong on one side of the ball but disastrously weak on the other. Worst case, we’ll see if this makeup can advance in the Toilet Bowl, and at least the semi-youth movement is looking good!

Team Thien (8-6)
Dealing with a roster coming on and off the injured list, Thien’s team has slid down the Russell Conference standings. Team Thien started off the season with five straight wins and a 7-2 record before they slammed hard into a brick wall and racked up four straight losses. They righted the ship in WK14 with a desperately needed win versus Buffy, and they’ve got two more softballs before a last month of matchups that will test their playoff hopes. The good news is that Thien has only lost games versus the league’s elite — except a loss to IL Conceived — so it stands to reason that they are still one of the better teams in the league, a credit to Thien’s incredible streaming abilities and nose for impactful free agents.

Aside from the injuries, the bad news is that Thien’s offensive rating has dropped from first in the league back in November to twelfth over the past month. Already an inefficient team — they’re currently rated fifteenth in efficiency, and have never been above twelfth, their league average-ish defense can’t prop up the lack of scoring that this team now suffers from.

With John Wall out for the season, the AST ranking for this team is unlikely to recover but there’s hope on the horizon everywhere else because DeMarcus Cousins is back! Regardless of how he fares in Golden State, Boogie is definitely going to score and put up points so that’ll help a lot. With Mike Conley and Jimmy Butler still anchoring the backcourt, and a Lauri Markkanen and Cousins combo up front, there’s still a dangerous playoff contender here because Thien has never had a losing season and 2019 won’t likely be his first. Let’s see what Boogie can do!

Chunky Monkeys (10-4)
For the first time all season, Monkeys don’t sit atop the Russell Conference. Four straight losses will do that to you, and as the injury bug hit hard, they found themselves discombobulated and pulled off an early capped out week for the first time all year. With LeBron James and now Clint Capela out, plus Larry Nance Jr., the losing streak could continue as they face one more winning team until the schedule softens. To be fair, Monkeys have been beaten by three of the best teams in the league the last few weeks — WK12-14 was against Squirtle Squad, Sour Snails, Spade — and that first loss was against surging Another Bad Creation.

There’s only so much James Harden can do, and while he’s going supernova, and the last month has seen Otto Porter and Kelly Oubre Jr. really step up on the wings, the returns of Kyle Lowry and Kris Dunn has only done so much to juice the team. And it’s not exactly panic time yet, as Monkeys are still fifth in offense, fifth in defense, and second in efficiency over the past month, with a net rating that still puts them as a top-three team. The problem is that without LeBron this team may not quite be the world beater it was advertised as though the first ten weeks of the season. What I’m saying is: the door is open for someone else to win this year!

Weekly: Jan 13

We looked at some hot teams last week, let’s take a peek at three of our bottom teams and offer some solutions, besides raising their Games Played of course...

Snack Bears (4-9)
It’s been a long time since we looked at Brandon’s team, all the way back to the beginning of the season since we first introduced ODE ratings. Two months ago Snack Bears was 2-1 and seemingly headed for a decent campaign. Well, since then they’ve dropped to the fourth-worst record in the league and are headed straight for another Toilet Bowl showing. A recent WK13 loss to formerly winless Another Bad Creation doesn’t bode well for their season moving forward. Snack's ODE splits for the past month are 12/12/11, highlighted by a strange fact: Snack Bears have been leading the league in STL! They’re also not terrible in AST and that leads us to suspect that De’Aaron Fox’s breakout season is really pacing this team.

There’s actually plenty of talent here, as Fox, Bradley Beal, and Blake Griffin are playing about as well as can be expected, with all of them having career or near career years — Beal and Blake average about six assists each, a lovely bonus for out-of-position playmaking. Behind those three are rookies Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Wendell Carter as promising keepers — even if they are oftentimes unplayable and erratic — plus the continued scoring prowess of Tim Hardaway Jr. Heck, there’s even been flashes of hope from Bam Adebayo and Jaylen Brown both, as well as the veteran presences of PJ Tucker and Ed Davis lurking in the rotation.

It’s mostly been bad management, as Brandon came in fourth-worst in our recent owner rating analysis. With low games Games Played and no moves since November, we think a slight focus on coaching, as well as cutting the corpse of Jordan Bell and digging for some free agents could lift this team in the coming weeks. Grabbing one win during the next month — four straight matchups against potential playoff teams — would be a coup, and then the schedule lets up near the end of the season, giving Brandon a chance to see how his Bears will measure up against potential Toilet Bowl opponents. We knew this team was building for the future with Kristaps Porzingis lingering on injured reserve, but with the right moves we think Snack is well positioned for a surprise Toilet Bowl run as well.

Team Cameltoe (3-10)
Coach Felipe has submitted 8/13 weeks of GP mess ups and is ranked as the current second-worst organization in the league. With the lowest Games Played in Slam, this team is basically hamstringing itself. Their ODE splits are 15/16/13 and their net rating is last in the league. But we are not here to bury, we are here to inspire! After starting off 0-6, there were back-to-back victories against respectable opponents mid-season, and a 3-1 stretch from WK7-10. There’s hope there!

We haven’t seen any free agent moves from GM Felipe since early November, but the good news is that one of those pickups, Dewayne Dedmon, has emerged as a very effective stretch-center and could have some value as trade bait. Meanwhile, let’s check in on the prospects for this team even as they slow grow around the fantasy force that is Anthony Davis.

The five (unproven) young guys are Marvin Bagley III, Harry Giles, Josh Jackson, Malik Monk, and Michael Porter Jr — the latter isn’t looking likely to play this season. The twin baby Kings, Bagley and Giles, are getting 21.7 and 16.1 minutes each over the past month. With more minutes, Bagley is pretty much a surefire double-double threat, but it’s hard to tell if Giles has a future as a keeper. Monk drops 1.7 3PT in 19.0 minutes a game over the past month and is averaging double digits, so there is potential here for a Buddy Hield-like growth curve. Keeper? And what about Jackson, who has emerged from an early sophomore funk to start putting up 15.0 PTS, 4.3 AST, with 2.3 STL and almost a three and a block per game. That’s impressive stuff!

Overall that’s Davis, Hield, Hassan Whiteside, plus Bagley, Jackson, and Monk for possible 2020 keepers. Is that a playoff contender next year? Maybe? We’re pretty down on Cameltoe’s Toilet Bowl chances this year because there’s just too much youth here, but after this week’s matchup against So Buckets, Cameltoe will face off against four straight Toilet Bowl bound opponents, including re-matchups against Hilt the Stilt and Another Bad Creation. We’ll see where this team stands in a month. And even if Cameltoe is tanking for Zion, Felipe will still need to pull it together by the end of the season to get his team in shape for a chance at a high draft pick next year. Let’s see if Cameltoe management is up for the challenge!

Hilt the Stilt (3-10)
It’s been a tough rookie year for new owner Dave. His team is second-to-last in Games Played and he's tied with Felipe for 8/13 capped out weeks. Not to mention there’s been no free agent moves at all for Dave, so we’d love to see at least one pickup soon. (Can we suggest cutting Terry Rozier?) Overall, we’re not sure if Dave is losing on purpose as part of a bigger strategy or if the rookie shakes have hit him hard. Last time we looked at Hilt, we said we were semi-impressed by their two undermanned wins but after a scorching 1-9 stretch — their lone win was versus Cameltoe in WK9 — we can safely say that this squad is headed for a Toilet Bowl showing.

But here’s what’s interesting, of the three losing teams we looked at this week, Hilt has one huge strength: they are the fourth-rated defense in ODE. Sure, their offensive and efficiency ratings are dead last but being sixth in REB, sixth in BLK, and ninth in STL, even with such low Games Played, is impressive. What’s going on?! Say hello to Derrick White, the very Derrick White we dismissed six weeks ago as “.. unlikely to be the answer [at point guard].” Well, White is the answer for the Spurs and Hilt the Stilt and he’s been throwing down 1.1 BLK from the point guard position. Add in the emergence of rookie Mikal Bridges and the two young guys are putting up 2.7 STL and 2.1 BLK per game, giving Hilt a stifling defensive lineup of White, Bridges, Victor Oladipo, Andre Drummond, Steven Adams, and Danny Green -- plus the oft-unused Jarrett Allen.

With such a strong defense, where is the last-rated offense going to come from? Well, Josh Richardson is still flinging up shots, and rookie Kevin Knox is emerging as the all-offense counterpoint to Bridges’ all-defense stats, which is nice to see. And while there are some awful FG% chuckers on this team, that can’t be helped right now. We still really like the team as a whole and we think some of that defense and young upside could be moved for a touch more offense. If Coach Dave gets his act together, we see a potential dark horse Toilet Bowl contender.

WK13 Highlights:

• A rematch of our title game from last season came down to free throws as Sour Snails narrowed edged out Chunky Monkeys, dealing Monkeys their third straight loss of the season.
• Funk Coalition snuck out a close game by one AST as they took down Squirtle Squad in a matchup of trade partners from last week, making it six wins in a row for Funk.
• Fob Stars also stayed hot by taking down So Buckets by one AST as well, or six REB, or 0.002 FT%. It was a super close game and Jimmy is now 5-0-1 in his last month and a half.
• Swamp Dragons continues to take care of business, going 5-0-1 over their past six weeks, and are the second-best team by net rating over the past month, surpassing Sour Snails.
• IL Conceived took down Team Thien / Knockout Venom, who have been in an injury-plagued free fall and haven’t won a game in a month as they slide to the edge of the playoff picture. Meanwhile Frank is 3-1 in his last month of games.
• Top five teams last month by ODE net rating: Chunky Monkeys, Swamp Dragons, Sour Snails, Another Bad Creation (!), Fob Stars

Weekly: Jan 6

Coming off the heels of our trade wrap-up article, let's look at some of the teams affected, plus both 8-3-1 teams!

Swamp Dragons (8-3-1)
Let's start with a team that has been 🔥! Swamp Dragons have gone 5-1-1 since we last checked in and are now just one-and-a-half games out of the Russell Conference lead behind cousin Evan’s Chunky Monkeys. It’s mostly been business as usual for Swamp as they’ve ascended to an ODE of 4/5/2 and trail only Sour Snails and Monkeys in overall ODE rating. In addition, Eddie graded out as the best owner two weeks ago and are well positioned to go ring hunting this playoffs -- after consecutive Toilet Bowl wins -- behind Paul George and Nikola Jokic.

Are there any causes for concern? Perhaps a low FG% and BLK ranking during the past month — thirteen in both — could be something to watch, but otherwise Swamp is top-three in five different categories, just like two months ago. The ultra-competitive roster is even sourcing for young backcourt options behind Jeremy Lamb and Josh Hart, as rookies Kevin Huerter and  De’Anthony Melton are getting some run. I mean, someone has to make up for Markelle Fultz right!? (Shout out to Jusuf Nurkic’s recent insane 24/23/7/5/5 line.) A WK15 matchup with fellow 8-3-1 Squirtles is looming and it could be a key game for playoff positioning — recall we don’t seed by conference anymore, but by the entire league.

Funk Coalition (7-5)
The hottest team in SlamNation is coming off of five straight wins and nipping at playoff contention, a far cry from when they were floundering with just two wins to begin the season. The bad news is all those wins have come against opponents that are 20-39-1 (0.333), as Funk has beat up on all teams with losing records, save So Buckets in WK8, when Buckets was otherwise occupied with a baby birth. Funk’s upcoming schedule is against four winning teams who are a combined 28-16-4 (0.636), so we’ll see what kind of team they really are over the next month.

Never one to rest on his laurels, for better or usually worse, GM Jon revamped his bench so that his fourteenth-rated offense could get a boost -- Funk is ranked fourteen in PTS and fifteen in 3PT — brought in a lot more shooting to fit around Ben Simmons and company. Out went veteran stalwarts Rudy Gay, Lou Williams, Trevor Ariza, as well as up-and-comer Jerami Grant. In comes Evan Fournier, Marcus Smart, Nemanja Bjelica, Bogdan Bogdanovic, and Kent Bazemore. While that lot should boost Funk’s long range scoring, it’s an open question how their ninth-rated efficiency and third-rated defense will now fare after the changes. We’ll find out over the next month if Funk is a contender or pretender...

Squirtle Squad (8-3-1)
Another team involved in the three-way trade, Squirtles have sat atop Chamberlain Conference all season, as they started off 6-0 before going through a mini-swoon in WK7-10, going winless during that time. The Squirtles ship has righted itself though and they are currently tied for the second-best record in the league after two straight wins and a signature WK12 defeat of top-ranked Chunky Monkeys! Armed with two new scorers, there’s a chance Squirtles have another level in them and they will definitely end their three-year long playoff drought.

For the season, Squirtles are rated second in efficiency and fourth in offense but have just the eleventh rated defense. Over the past month though, those ODE ratings have dropped to 7/12/14 splits, a dramatic shift in efficiency especially. A change was clearly in order and GM Brian made the two-for-two swap of Zach LaVine and Evan Fournier for Tobias Harris and Lou Williams. Aside from solving a positional hole at power forward, that should net more more PTS and REB, plus slightly more AST and STL, which are exactly the only four categories Squirtles are below the league average in. With Giannis Antekokounmpo gunning for NBA MVP and Nikola Vucevic playing like a top-ten fantasy player, Squirtles have raised their ceiling and are now true title chasers.


Standings, three months in:

Weekly: Dec 30

We’re officially right into the new year and the NBA is heating up! We had a wild WK11 too, as four top teams fell, as we not only had our lone undefeated team taken out, but that loss was delivered by our lone winless team! So let’s take a look at the four teams who took out Chunky Monkeys, Space Knockout aka Team Thien, Sour Snails, and Fat Jubas!

Another Bad Creation (1-10)
Losing LeBron James hurts hunh? Chunky Monkey’s depth was exposed as James only suited up for one game and even though James Harden and the duo of Larry Nance and Clint Capela did their best to keep it competitive, our previously winless team took down the defending champs!

It takes an absolute hero to take down Goliath and DJ Augustin -- who caught fire last week and delivered 23.3 PTS, 6.7 AST, 3.0 3PT, and 1.7 STL on 52.8 FG% -- was that hero! Throw in Russell Westbrook, LaMarcus Aldridge, and fantasy lynchpin TJ Warren and ABC clearly should be better than just a one-win team. While Enes Kanter has slowed, Kyle Anderson is back to filling up the stat sheet and along with Marcus Morris has really fleshed out the rotation behind Westbrook.

Over the past month, ABC has been just around league average in offensive, defensive, and efficiency rating, ranking eleventh, eighth, and ninth respectively. Their main weaknesses are in AST and BLK but everywhere else they are highly competitive. We highlighted Oliver as a bottom-three owner last week, but with this huge win, we anticipate ABC stepping their game up over the back half of the season. Watch out for this giant killer!

Fob Stars (5-6) (4-6-1)
Last we checked, Fob had just one win to their name and was headed for an early date with the Toilet Bowl. A month later and Jimmy’s team has now won four in a row three in a row and tied one, and took down Squirtle Squad and tied Sour Snails in back-to-back weeks. For the season, Fob Stars are only 13/14/10 in ODE rating, but over the past month they’ve been at 5/6/3, which translates to being the fourth best team in SlamNation over that time. Coach Jimmy has done a masterful job managing his team over the past month and some of his cold slow starters, aka Jamal Murray, are heating up.

Add in the return of John Collins to the lineup, the emergence of Point Justise, plus free agent hits on Jordan Clarkson and Thaddeus Young, and it looks like Damian Lillard finally has some running mates. (But seriously, Point Justise is at 17.0 PTS, 4.8 AST, 2.6 STL and even 1.8 3PT per game while shooting 50.0% from the field. Here’s hoping Goran Dragic never comes back!) A recent trade of Jonathan Isaac for Rudy Gay sacrificed some future for the now, but it didn’t look like Isaac was going to make the keeper cut anyway.

Suddenly this team of youngish veterans looks like it’s ready to win now and if Jimmy can pull off even one win against Team Spade and So Buckets -- their next two opponents -- we’re comfortable saying that this once has-been will soon be a playoff contender. Great job Fob Stars!

[Edit: Wait, ESPN gave this matchup a 4-4-1 tie after the fact, so I guess Fob Stars is now 4-6-1, whoops.]

Team Spade (6-4-1)
Unlike the previous two teams, Spade hasn’t been a pushover that that rose to power, instead they’ve always had the promise of a title contender, and a great keeper core. But still, a win versus Team Thien makes the case even stronger, as Spade has now gone 3-1-1 after an uneven 0.500 start -- Spade won two games all of last season.

They took down Team Thien under a barrage of 3PT while winning both PTS and TOs, an impressive feat. Spencer Dinwiddie and Brook Lopez both dropped in ten-plus threes while Dinwiddie also added twenty-one assists on the week. Impressive stuff, even as Kevin Love and Will Barton have yet to see the floor for Spade and others remained injured last week.

So how high is this team's upside? Despite a low-ish GP and Moves number, Randall has used Kawhi Leonard, Devin Booker, and Danilo Gallinari to great effect while filling out the oft-injured roster with the likes of Dinwiddie, Monte Morris, and Bryn Forbes. While Spade has maintained their offensive and efficiency ratings, their ninth rated defense has fallen to fourteenth when taking into account just the past month’s numbers. That number should climb with Al Horford and Paul Millsap back on the court and there’s an intriguing WK14 matchup with Chunky Monkeys to see how good Spade can really be this this season.

So Buckets (6-4-1)
As we already covered Josh’s team in our last weekly, we’ll just briefly highlight how they took out Fat Jubas, delivering Eric just his third loss of the season. So Buckets would have won by even more categories as they lost by only one in both AST and BLK. The guard trio of Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, and CJ McCollum, plus the interior presence of Rudy Gobert and Noah Vonleh pushed the team to a big win. Buckets is now within one game of taking the Chamberlain Conference lead!

Weekly: Dec 17

Here's a second look at our teams at the almost midpoint of our regular season, which is twenty weeks long. We'll take a look at some teams trending up, up, and up, and one coming way down...

Fat Jubas (7-2)
Coming off a nifty defensive effort in WK9, Jubas notched their fifth win in a row by dealing Sour Snails their third straight loss off a thrilling STL/BLK Sunday chase down. Last we checked, Jubas notched two poor GP weeks to start the season but now Coach Eric is humming with a full complement of games each week. Since then Jubas have only suffered defeats to Evan and Thien, the only two teams ranked ahead of them in Russell Conference.

Since a month ago, Jubas has pumped up their defense from sixth rated to third while their offense has gone from twelfth to eighth. On top of that, their efficiency rating has gone from slightly below average to just above. And they are ranked top-three in AST, BLK, STL, and TO. Dare we say that a recent catalyst has been Emmanuel Mudiay?! Or perhaps more likely, the return of Bogdan Bogdanovic into the lineup has helped juice the offense. Or maybe it’s been the Robert Covington effect, which has also helped juice Jrue Holiday’s defensive numbers? Or… There’s just a slew of talent on this team as Jubas’ near dominant defense is getting team-wide offensive support in just enough doses to be winning.

The next two weeks serve up Spade and So Buckets, the second and third best team in Chamberlain Conference, so Fat Jubas will really get a chance to see how they stack up to the rest of the SlamNation contenders this season. Fun fact: Chris Paul, Holiday, and Jeff Teague are all averaging over 8+ AST per game! And remember when we said Jubas was one of only three (now two) teams without a "gold" level guy? Seems to not matter!

So Buckets (5-3-1)
A month ago we warned: "So Buckets are likely even underperforming a bit at just 0.500… Watch out everyone, So Buckets could soon rise in their new Chamberlain conference digs.” Looks like the advanced numbers didn't lie as Josh’s team has gone 3-1-1 since then, and that one loss was only because Josh was at the hospital welcoming his new baby to the world. So congrats to Josh on his firstborn! 👶

His fantasy basketball baby has been stellar as well, with past month ODE ratings of second-ranked offense, first-ranked defense and first-ranked efficiency. So Buckets have improved upon their previous ODE 9/2/5 splits by quite a bit and is now the top rated team in SlamNation. Just one game out of the Chamberlain lead — they tied with current conference leader Squirtles in WK7 — it’s only a matter of time until Buckets emerge atop the charts.

This recent burst hasn’t been powered by new faces either, even if Noah Vonleh’s emergence as a legitimate fantasy asset with 9.5 PTS, 8.5 REB, 1+ 3PT/STL/BLK has helped Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert on the frontlines while the offense-first rest of the team continue to thrive, led by the four guard lineup of Kyrie Irving, CJ McCollum, DeMar DeRozan, and Derrick Rose. It’s just all the same names playing well together and staying healthy!

The lone dark spot on the roster is the recent demotion of Jabari Parker by the Bulls — or maybe Dwight Howard’s continued health issues — but frankly, Buckets doesn’t need Jabari much as they are already leading the league in PTS, FG%, and REB, aka Jabari’s main contributions. Our next prediction: So Buckets are about to rip off a proper win streak and they’ll be the top Chamberlain team heading into All-Star break! [Editor: Congrats again on a baby Josh, and thanks for giving Funk a very not deserved win that week, woohoo!]

Sour Snails (5-4)
We didn’t expect to have to check in on Snails again for awhile as they started off 4-1 and seemingly restocked their roster to ridiculous depths. Any worries for another dominant season by Snails has been swept away though as they’ve lose three in a row — albeit to three strong teams in Spade, Swamp Dragons, and Fat Jubas. So who are the real 2019 Snails? Are they the world-beaters who are still rated 2/1/1 in ODE on the season or do the details tell a different story?

Snails have dipped to fifth in offense and fourth in efficiency over the past month, some of the blame can be attributed to Steph Curry missing some games, the loss of Caris LeVert, or the slight regression that was coming Kemba Walker’s way after a blazing hot start — not to mention Nemanja Bjelica’s reduced role. But still, a lineup with Curry, Kevin Durant, Kemba, Tobias Harris, plus Julius Randle and Pascal Siakam should seem better than fifth on offense? Bear in mind, that is still a very good SlamNation offense but we’re just used to better from this powerhouse Snails team.

More importantly, the bottom has dropped out on Snails’ defense as they are rated twelfth for the past month, which is very concerning and the real root of their recent decline. The duo of JaVale McGee and Montrezl Harrell are still pretty great at rim protection but it looks like Nerlens Noel is getting a full shot at helping in BLK, where Snails is ranked just thirteenth after being second overall just a month ago. Similar to Noel, Marcus Smart has been brought in as a defensive specialist, despite his many warts, to take over the LeVert role at shooting guard — GM Trieu elected not to make a move there. With a WK10 matchup against a 7-2 Thien team, we could soon be seeing a winless month for Snails, who woulda thought!

Note: Rumors are that Isaiah Thomas is nearing a return and we’re curious what he’ll add to Snails and the Nuggets.


WK9 Highlights:

• A 21/21 GP capped off battle between Hilt the Stilt and Cameltoe ended up with new owner Dave taking the win. The better stat might be Hilt’s six GP maxed out games so far this season to Cameltoe’s five, as both Dave and Felipe struggle to maximize their rotations.
• On the surface, it looked like Spade gifted a tie to Swamp Dragons in WK9 but their 20 GP week was largely due to injury as they had Kevin Love, Paul Millsap, Al Horford, and Devin Booker all out last week — not to mention still injured Will Barton. Seen in that light, Spade might have been lucky to pull out a tie despite being five games down.
• Our lone winless team, Another Bad Creation, had the slim lead heading into Sunday but Fobsters snuck out a win behind clutch free throw shooting by Jamal Murray, Jordan Clarkson, and Rondae Hollis-Jefferson. Plus a timely twenty-nine point explosion by John Collins, who is back to breakout status after 23.3 PTS, 12.7 REB, and almost a three and a block per game over the past two weeks.

Weekly: Dec 3

We're here to take a look at our last three teams in the weekly series: welcome some of Russell Conference's worst teams!

Team Cameltoe (1-6)
No longer winless, Cameltoe got their first win versus Fob Stars this week despite only putting up 22 Games Played. In fact we’re not sure if Coach Felipe has been concentrating on football — he’s 7-5 and one above me in playoff positioning in our sixteen teamer — but it’s been three capped out early weeks for Cameltoe plus no GP of over twenty-three. But a first win is a first win!

Of course, Cameltoe could also just be waiting for their young kids to grow up. Prize rookie Marvin Bagley III, taken RD1.5, has been getting more minutes and very solid double-doubles now that the Kings finally give him steady minutes. Malik Monk, Josh Jackson, Harry Giles, and fellow rookie Michael Porter Jr. (on IR)  are all going to be key components for this team in future years but for a franchise that’s ranked near the bottom of the league in every category except blocks, that’s not much consolation.

We see holes all over the lineup, especially at point guard — although Darren Collison has been great of late — but there are some bright spots too. Buddy Hield has fully emerged as an offensive cornerstone while Anthony Davis and Hassan Whiteside still form one of the best big man combos in SlamNation. In fact, even with so few GP, this team is fourteenth in defensive rating based on a strong front line that now adds Bagley’s numbers. So congrats to Cameltoe for making it out of the cellar and let’s see if they can go back-to-back next week!

Fob Stars (1-6)
As for the team Cameltoe beat, the outlook isn’t great. After three straight years of about 0.500 ball, and playoff appearances, Jimmy’s team could be headed for the cellar. Is this all because of the Dame for Kemba and Tobias trade? Well, um, maybe? Kemba and Tobias are both having career years and while Lillard has been fantastic, he’s gotten very little help from the rest of the Fobs. This team actually has a decent efficiency rating, at eighth, but suffers from offensive and defensive ratings of thirteenth and sixteenth respectively. And we sense a common theme here, as Coach Jimmy has also hit four weeks worth of capped out games. Could better management take them to a few more wins? The answer is a solid "probably not?"

Jamal Murray has been ice cold to start the season and hasn't quite broken out as hoped. Rumors were that there was an All-Star trade offer made for Murray but that was declined. Fellow pre-season hype kid John Collins just returned to the floor and is still rounding into shape. That all-defense draft we talked about in the season preview? Well, this is the worst defensive team in the league according to ODE so you tell me. There’s potential for some growth in-season as the veterans are mostly solid, but there’s no doubting that Fob is going to have to fight for some more victories this year as they wait for Murray and Collins to grow up.

One enormous bright spot: Fob Stars are tops in FT%, and that’s even with DeAndre Jordon on the team, as Jordan has been shooting 75.6 FT% on the season. Hack-a-DeAndre no more!

Funk Coalition (2-5)
Another Russell Conference bottom feeder, our breakthrough team of last year has settled down in dumps with only two wins — one coming against Fob Stars. Armed with Karl-Anthony Towns and Ben Simmons, GM Jon thought he was on the doorstep to contention and went all-in on veterans for his draft. Bad news: Funk ain’t ready. Although Lou Williams, Rudy Gay, and Trevor Ariza have done their part, the young core has faltered greatly. It could be argued that every one of Funk’s recent trades have also left them weaker, as Khris Middleton, D’Angelo Russell, and Andrew Wiggins were diluted into Gordon Hayward, Taurean Prince, and Nicolas Batum — plus the Wiggins trade meant Josh Richardson was lost to dispersal.

Is there room for Funk to turn it around? They are league average in efficiency rating but have poor offensive and defensive ratings, and they have no built-in low Games Played skewing like Cameltoe or Fob Stars. The only thing this team of Simmons and Towns and all wings can do well is rebound, but nearly everywhere else they are below average. That’s, um, not good. At least KAT has returned to joyful basketball and top fantasy production with Jimmy Butler gone from Minnesota. However it seems like a team that was on the cusp of contention last year could be headed right back to their most comfortable space: another Toilet Bowl.

WK7 Highlights:

• Spade take down Sour Snails despite two less GP
• So Buckets and Squirtle Squad square off in Chamberlain and ended up with 2019’s first tie
• IL Conceived with a come-from-behind win versus Another Bad Creation on Sunday
• Snack Bears also with a come-from-behind win versus Swamp Dragons, behind Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Bam Adebayo’s one block each
• Standings two months in:

Weekly: Nov 26

This week we're taking a look at four teams, including one of our remaining undefeated squads and two of our recent dispersal squads.

Chunky Monkeys (6-0)
With Team Thien falling in WK6, we have a lone undefeated team in Russell Conference: our defending champs! Despite efforts to move LeBron James, Monkeys still retain the services of the King and he’s been spectacular. And even though James Harden has suffered some fall off this season, he’s still fantasy gold. Plus, Kyle Lowry’s career best AST year is leading the league so that more than makes up for Harden’s dip.

While it could be argued that nobody on this team is playing at their best — excepting maybe Clint Capela — there is still just too much talent on this team for the league to handle. Even with depth sapped by the keeper drop of Marc Gasol for Kris Dunn, Monkeys still have had enough to fend off all challengers. Even RD1.16 rookie Collin Sexton has started to really step up on offense and will likely grade out as an absolute steal for Evan.

Monkeys sport a top-two rated offense to pair with a top-three defense, and while their efficiency rating is about league average, they are mainly only taking that hit due to a fourteenth ranked FT%. Monkeys are basically a punt free throws team but as long as they continue to be so highly ranked everywhere else, the wins will keep coming.

Overall, while the champs are definitely more vulnerable than last year — as the bottom of the lineup is a piecemeal effort between the likes of Joe Harris, Trey Lyles, Josh Hart, and Kelly Oubre — we’ll see if that affects them going forward though. Next week’s matchup against Silent Assassins will be one to watch as Evan and Thien jostle for the top slot in Russell Conference.

Team Spade (3-3)
Spade has already surpassed their win total from last season’s two wins, but of course, we always knew Spade had the goods as they were mostly just injured last year. This season, Kawhi Leonard is back, as is Paul Millsap, and despite the still missing Kevin Love being out — plus Will Barton’s absence — Spade has emerged as a possible playoff contender in their new conference.

Truly one of the stranger category teams around, Spade is strong in efficiency with a top-four rating there, highlighted by excellent FG/FT%. And while they score about league average, they really rely on their AST numbers to boost them up. The loss of Love has meant a big hole at rebounding but even still, their defensive rating is a respectable ninth.

The plug-ins this year has been a healthy Danilo Gallinari and Spencer Dinwiddie, who are both playing quite well and really help to keep the team afloat alongside the Leonard and Devin Booker twin stars configuration -- Booker is throwing up a delightful 7.3 assists per game by the way! Add in outside shooting bigs in Millsap, Al Horford, and Brook Lopez, and Spade truly plays a five out offense that has obviously elevated them back into the playoff picture. It looks like Randall’s set up for another veteran run to a title shot!

IL Conceived (1-5)
Torpedoed by an injury plagued week from Donovan Mitchell and Dennis Smith Jr, IL Conceived couldn't quite come from
behind on Sunday to notch their second win of the season versus Buffy, a team we lauded highly last week. It’s been a tough early schedule, with matchups against two of the best teams in the league and no softie opponents yet. IL Conceived is about to hit an easier patch of their schedule though, aside from a WK8 matchup against Chunky Monkeys — a revenge game for Frank ruining Evan’s undefeated season last year.

On paper, IL Conceived has not been great, as their offensive and efficiency ratings are at twelve and fourteen respectively over the past month. A worst in SlamNation FG% is the main culprit but this team also just can’t score, which is very different than last year’s offensive powerhouse.  Even a solid league average defensive rating can’t quite mask IL Conceived rebounding woes as well. So what’s the good news here?

Well, there are plenty! With a dispersal draft that reshuffled the deck, GM Frank picked up 2019 RD1.2 and 1.3, which translated into Luca Doncic and Jaren Jackson Jr. Both have already at least met preseason expectations with Doncic proving to be an offensive dynamo behind 18.8 PTS, 6.7 REB, 4.5 AST, 2.4 3PT, and 46.0 FG% while Jackson has started to solidify his defensive numbers with 3.3 combined BLK/STL, plus almost a three per game. Those two rookie finds alone make this IL Conceived season a win, but there’s also Miles Bridges, Aaron Holiday, Cedi Osman, OG Anunoby, and draft-and-stash Lonnie Walker lurking in development.

While the 4-D lineup of Donovan, Dennis, Draymond Green, and Dario Saric have been a little all over the place, the rock of the team has been Marc Gasol, who is definitely rejuvenated and looking for a winning situation. It’s possible that Gasol could be moved later to a contender, or IL Conceived could just ride the Spaniard to another deep Toilet Bowl run.

Hilt the Stilt (2-4)
As we look at our most recent addition to the league, it’s been tough to tell how David’s rookie SlamNation team has been as he’s racked up a month straight of early capped out games, plus no weeks of Games Played above 22 games. So taking that all into account, two wins is actually quite impressive — including a WK4 win versus Spade that confounded us with many less games played. It’s no surprise that with so few GP, Hilt the Stilt is ranked bottom three in just about every category, and sports a ODE rating of 15/7/14. But let’s look beyond the numbers at what’s actually on this roster.

It’s safe to say that David went six for six in his dispersal draft, with no duds taken — the jury is out on Jaylen Brown for Snack Bears and Dario Saric for IL Conceived. Franchise cornerstone Victor Oladipo has maintained his Most Improved Player numbers for the most part, and Andre Drummond has increased his defensive numbers even higher than last year. And while the league still continues to wait for a full on Aaron Gordon explosion, the high flier is still putting up a very nice all-around line.

Oh right, and I’m loathe to mention Josh Richardson here, who has been jumped an entire level and I’m so so bitter because I kept Andrew Wiggins instead of my favorite son Josh Richardson. Sigh. J-Rich is throwing up 20.7 PTS and plus numbers everywhere else. Double sigh. Add in the additional big man presence of Steven Adams and Jarrett Allen, and Hilt seemingly has it all...except a point guard. The rotating cast of Fred VanVleet, Terry Rozier, and Derrick White are unlikely to be the answer here and there are enough pieces here to go shopping for a short or long term solution. (Is this a Markelle Fultz reclamation destination?!)

Overall we’re not sure what to make of Hilt until the Games Played evens out to to something that maximizes their roster. Is this a playoff or Toilet Bowl team? We don’t know!