Round 1 Results: East

Squirtle Squad (14-6) vs Human Amoebas (9-11)
The repeat East champion Squirtle Squad is poised to have great post-season run. While the East seemed to be full of great teams mid-season, by the end, a few squads had faded. Don't count the Squad among them. Suffering from very little injury strife, the Squad has been the model of consistency this year. Deron Williams (19 PTS, 10.5 AST, 1 STL/3PT) has emerged as a fantasy star and along with his front court mate Carlos Boozer (22 PTS, 11 REB, 1.3 STL), have been the cornerstone for this team. Boston teammates Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen have both declined statistically but are still premium players. While JR Smith, Francisco Garcia, Boris Diaw, Ryan Gomes, David Lee, and Rasho Nesterovic don't necessarily get the fans screaming, they ably fill up the box scores. The big question is if sophmore sensation Brandon Roy can get back on the court in time to help the Squad to a championship.

The Amoebas sure are mercurial aren't they? The front line duo of Amare Stoudemire (25 PTS, 9 REB, 2.2 BLK) and Dirk Nowitzki provide a solid foundation for success but this team seems a bit short in every area. Rip Hamilton, Marvin Williams, and Zach Randolph add scoring, but not quite enough to make the Amoebas a scoring powerhouse. Jason Kidd is still an AST master but there's not another player on the roster who dishes even half of what he does. Raja Bell and Boobie Gibson average over two 3PT a game, but half the roster doesn't average any. With the late season injuries to Dirk and Ben Wallace, the Amoebas' hopes were sunk and it's possible that they need a more cohesive game plan for next season.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (12-7-1) vs The Poobic Heirs (12-8)
While it's tough to call this a huge upset with the swell season the Pogiboys are having, it was a huge upset. I mean, the defending champs falling to last year's league doormat? That's huge right? The Pogiboys made short work of the Poobic Heirs, 6-3, and really just outhustled them in all the little categories (AST, STL, BLK, TO, FG%, FT%).

With the MVP season by Chris Paul (22 PTS, 11 AST, 2.7 STL) -- and yes, he should be the MVP -- the Pogiboys bounced into this season with a new outlook on life. Rookie Al Horford contributed nearly a double double and Chris Kaman and Andrew Bynum both broke out. And let's not forget about Rudy Gay, who upped his game to new heights (20 PTS, 6 REB, 1.7 3PT). While Tyrus Thomas, Jason Maxiell, Darko Milicic, Joakim Noah, and Ronny Turiaf all suffer from the erratic syndrome, Chauncey Billups and Gerald Wallace supported Paul in the best ways possible by providing additional scoring, steals, and assists. Add in under the radar contributions by Derek Fisher, Steve Blake, and Louis Williams and the question is: how far can this finely tuned squad go?

We might be thanking our collective stars and garters that the Olympics are in Beijing this summer. Otherwise, Yao Ming might have suited up and Oliver would still be in contention for a repeat. Put it this way. Devin Harris (16 PTS, 7 AST) and Monta Ellis (20-4-4) are now solidly main men in both their camps. Caron Butler and Kevin Martin are top tier options. Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant. Forget the fact that Rasheed and especially Kirk Hinrich slipped this season, the Heirs are scary. If they didn't have such a big hole in the front court (Brendan Haywood, Nazr Mohammed, Samuel Dalembert) late in the season, would the Heirs really have gone out so early? Here's a scary thought. Next year, this team gets a healthy Yao back, plus Greg Oden. Yowza.

Toilet Bowl
100AcrePoohBears (8-12) vs Jedi Knights (3-16-1)
The Pooh Bears almost made the playoffs but a three game swoon at the end put them out of the running. That's probably a good thing though, because the Bears might need another big draft. The proud owner of Mike Bibby, Shawn Marion, and Pau Gasol, the Bears had to deal with three in-season mega-trades. In each one, it seemed like they lost out statistically While Andre Miller (17 PTS, 7 AST, 1.3 STL) is having a quietly stellar season, everyone else on this roster has been playing worse than last year. Ben Gordon, Chris Wilcox, Andrei Kirilenko, Peja Stojakovic, Tayshaun Prince, and Josh Childress all did better last year. Rookie Jeff Green showed promise but that's on the court, not necessarily in the boxscore. Injuries have ravaged them near the end of the season (Marion, Wilcox, Gasol) but they still mustered enough to take out the Jedi Knights.

Well, it's hard to call the Jedi Knights inaugural season a success. On one hand, they stepped into the breach when the previous owner left but on the other hand, their record fell to a league low -- with nine straight losses to close out the season. THe good news is that, well, um, Dwight Howard (21 PTS, 14 REB, 2.3 BLK) is a man child? Other than that, this was definitely a backwards season for everyone else involved. Luol Deng, Mike Miller, and Chris Bosh all regressed a bit. Brad Miller, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Emeka Okafor were double double machines and provided some nice complements to Dwight, but the rest of the roster was hit or miss. Grant Hill stayed healthy in the Valley of the Sun but he's hardly a star anymore. The Knights have some big men assets but they have to carefully build a team that can truly take advantage of those strengths.

Round 1 Results: West

Buffy (14-6) vs Fat Jubas (11-8-1)
Buffy waxed the Jubas in their first round playoff matchup, 8-1, and with only four more games played. The only category Buffy lost? Turnovers.

This is who Buffy has on the bench: Stephon Marbury, Kenyon Martin, Rashard Lewis, Elton Brand, and Eddy Curry. At some point in the past, that would have been an All-Star team (sort of). It just goes to show how much team chemistry has meant this year for Buffy. With Baron Davis (22 PTS, 8 AST, 2 STL/3PT) and Jose Calderon (53.0 FG%, 8 AST, 1 3PT) leading the way, Buffy has been able to replace the wasted seasons of Steph and Elton. Antawn Jamison is back to his 20-10 numbers, Mike Dunleavy and Jamal Crawford turned into scoring machines, and Shaq O'Neal is contributing on the boards and on defense. Let's not forget about Tim Duncan either. This is the team to beat right now, even with so many big names manning the injury list and the bench. Imagine if they still had Chris Paul -- traded away for Elton Brand at the end of last year. Wowza!

It's been a rough year for the Fat Jubas. Talented beyond belief, they've been laid low by a combination of long term injuries to Dwayne Wade and Jermaine O'Neal. While Corey Maggette (22-6), Al Jefferson (21, 11, 1.5 BLK), and LaMarcus Aldridge (18, 8, 1.2 BLK) are all having career years, it still hasn't been enough to offset the big time injuries. With Leandro Barbosa, Josh Howard, Tony Parker, and Andre Iguodala staying about even, this team should of had the firepower for a big run into the playoffs but they were just inconsistent all year. The gradual decline of rookies Yi Jianlian and Jamario Moon didn't help matters either. Management had to be disappointed with such a weak season after last year's powerhouse showing (and a promising four game win streak to get into the playoffs).

Sour Snails (11-7-2) vs Chunky Monkeys (11-8-1)
What a difference a year makes hunh? Last year, the Sour Snails were at the bottom of the barrel. They couldn't get their first win for nearly half a season and by the end, their team was in shambles. Enter Kevin Durant, number one draft pick and franchise savior! Okay, fine, the Snails improvement probably didn't just have to do with Durant's numbers (19 PTS, 4 REB, 1 STL/BLK/3PT). Consider him a nice addition to a swingman group that really pushed the Snails into fast forward. Jason Richardson, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, and especially Hedo Turkoglu all turned it up a notch and allowed Steve Nash and Allen Iverson to just play their games. With this group, the Snails became a fantasy version of the GS Warriors, tossing up ridiculous amounts of 3PTs and PTS. With an owner dedicated to mining talent (tied for league lead in roster moves), the Snails really turned their franchise around and could easily upend the favorites for a Finals run. They cleaned out the Monkeys in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the 5-4 score indicated.

Even with a huge injury to start the season -- Gilbert Arenas, beloved blogger, never made it onto the court this season -- the Monkeys should have been a force to be reckoned with. After all, they made the Finals last year (with a D-League caliber squad, but still). Well, injuries aside, the Monkeys just haven't been as cohesive as they were last year. Manu Ginobili, Joe Johnson, and Josh Smith have been impressive as usual, while Rajon Rondo, Danny Granger, and Mehmet Okur all had their moments. Mo Williams was no slouch either. With other talent on hand like Tyson Chandler (the new Ben Wallace), Andris Biedrins, Charlie Villanueva, and Troy Murphy, the Monkeys had some depth. The problem for the Monkeys boiled down to not having a superstar on board. Manu and Joe Johnson were both 20-5-5 guys, and Josh Smith is a BLK beast, but nobody could push the team to greater heights and take over a game in the fourth quarter. Where are you Agent Zero?

Toilet Bowl
Phanatics (7-13) vs Funk Coalition (5-15)
The Phanatics, as always, look so damn good on paper. Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson, David West, Marcus Camby, and Lamar Odom are all All-Star caliber players. However, none are the top players for their teams. Is that a problem? Maybe. The Phanatics had a decent season considering they lost Nene for most of it and had a giant hole at the guard spots. Earl Watson and Charlie Bell were hardly fantasy worthy most nights, but who else would have fit in there? Luke Ridnour, Marcus Williams, or Mike Conley? As if. Still, Pierce, Carter, Jefferson, and West should be plenty to make a nice run into the Toilet Bowl and perhaps emerge with the top pick. Can GM Shen do something with that pick to put this team into the playoffs next year?

The Funk always rode the thin line between success and failure and after a promising first season, the wheels fell off the speed wagon and the Coalition collapsed. How many fantasy teams could have completely wasted Lebron James' 30-8-8 season? Not many. But when your team is comprised of point guards who all took a step back (except for Rafer Alston), you've got a recipe for disaster. Jameer Nelson and Raymond Felton are clearly light years behind fellow young PGs Chris Paul and Deron Williams. TJ Ford has Jose Calderon on his team. Randy Foye and Sebastian Telfair can't both play big minutes. With big scorers Michael Redd and Carmelo Anthony slowing down this season just a notch in the PTS deparment, the Funk couldn't stay on the good side of the wins column. Nobody else averaged more than 15 points aside from the big three. And that one guy was journeyman Rashad McCants. Time for Funk to retool?

Mid-Season Review: West

Now that fantasy football is over, it's time to turn our (full) attention in the direction of basketball. The NBA has been brilliant this season -- in no small part due to the resurgence of the Celtics. It seems like a transitory year as old stars are winding down a bit and new ones are emerging. How are our fantasy teams doing? Here's the overall stats for each team up to this point in the season and we'll explore brief capsule reviews of each team as we move along the next few days.

First up, the Western Conference. Unlike the NBA, the West is definitely struggling. Only two teams are over 0.500 and those two teams (Chunky Monkeys, Buffy) are the ones suffering from injuries to their biggest stars, Elton Brand and Gilbert Arenas. The West also fields easily the two worst teams in the league, Funk Coalition and Phanatics, who have won one game each. Let's take a look.

Chunky Monkeys (6-3-1)
The Monkeys are reeling from the loss of Gilbert Arenas and have lost two in a row recently. However, with a soft schedule (only 34 PA), they have maintained their top spot in the West. They are second to last in games played and are weak in PTS and REB, a strength for them last year. The Monkeys aren't dominant in STL or BLK like last year either. They are average in most categories -- aside from 3PT where they are top three -- but that's enough to lead the West. Joe Johnson, Mo Williams, and Manu Ginobili are holding it down but Mehmet Okur and Gilbert have been huge disappointments.

Buffy (6-4)
Buffy started off hot at 6-1 but have dropped three in a row. Similar to the Monkeys, Buffy suffers from a dearth of games played (third to last) due to injuries. They are horrible in FT% but are pretty good in PTS, REB, and excellent in 3PT. They are below average in most of the other categories but so far they've obviously been able to win. Tim Duncan and Antawn Jamison have been outstanding, as has Mike Dunleavy. But the team is hurting from the on and off exploits of Baron Davis, Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, and Kenyon Martin -- all of whom have missed significant time.

Sour Snails (4-5-1)
After sporting the worst record in the league last year, it's a huge season for the Snails already as they've won 4 games and tied 1. Trieu has definitely been paying attention as he's used the most linieups by far in the league, looking for the pieces that will put him over the top -- they've won three in a row. As a small team, they're excellent in FT%, AST, STL, and 3PT (where they almost double their next nearest challenger). They're also ranked top three in PTS. They're horrible in the big man categories but that's to be expected. With Allen Iverson and Steve Nash leading the way, as well as solid contributions from Ron Artest, Jason Richardson, an off the chaini Hedo Turkoglu, and rookie of the year Kevin Durant, the Snails are no longer in the slow lane.

Fat Jubas (4-5-1)
Last year's reigning West regular season champion, the Jubas are experiencing an up and down season despite an eye-poppingly talented roster. They're shooting horrifically (9th in FG% and FT%) but scoring tons of PTS, good enough to lead the league. They are however, very middle of the pack in REB, AST, and BLK. Andre Igoudala, Josh Howard, Corey Maggette, and Al Jefferson are great so far and the team still boasts Tony Parker and Leandro Barbosa -- along with nice looking rookie Yi Jianlian. But with Dwayne Wade, Tracy McGrady, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Jermaine O'Neal on and off, it's been a bit of a struggle. The Jubas are too deep to stay near 0.500 for long though.

Funk Coalition (1-9)
Choosing to fight in only five categories, the Funk have always been delicate. Last year, they were a respected if vulnerable team. This year, the wheels have fallen off and they're suffering from six losses in a row with no end in sight. They're 4th in PTS/STL/3PT, and only dominant in AST -- along with ranking 6th in FT%. Last year, they were near the top or dominant in PTS/AST/STL/3PT. Michael Redd and Carmelo Anthony aren't 30 point scorers anymore, TJ Ford is out, and the team suffers from a severe lack of depth. Only Leron James has been a bright spot this season (29 PTS, 7-8 REB/AST, 2 STL). GM Yang has built the real life version of the Cavs; a one-man band built only to lose.

Phanatics (1-9)
This team was capable of winning eight games last season but they're in severe trouble this year. With multiple injuries -- as always -- and little manager attention, the Phreaks have played the least games in the league. In addition, they're horrible in AST and STL. Then again, they are very powerful in REB and TO. What they need is to push every other category up to average status and estabalish some true strengths. Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Lamar Odom, Marcus Camby, Richard Jefferson, and David West should be enough to win more than one game so far.

Mid-Season Review: East

Man, the East is kicking ass. They've got two one loss teams and four teams over five hundred. By the power poll, the third place team in the East (Pogiboys) are better than any team in the West. How you like that for dominance? The Poobic Heirs are milking a four game win strea, the Pogiboys have three going on, and the rest of the conference can compete on most every night. Let's take at what's going on mid-season.

Squirtle Squad (9-1)
The Squad is cruising once again. They aren't dominant in any one category but they are strong in FG% and AST. Actually, the team does suffer from some significant weaknesses, despite their sterling record. They're third to last in FT%, BLK, and 3PT and not great at REB. Then again, they have had Brandon Roy emerge, a mostly healthy season from Jamaal Tinsley, and a great year from Deron Williams. In addition, Carlos Boozer is a maniac. Who else is averaging 23.5 PTS, 11.3 REB, 3 AST, and 1.3 STL? Nobody! The problem is that Boston teammates Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen are producing less than they did last year. Can the Squad fend off Poobic Heirs for the regular season crown?

Poobic Heirs (9-1)
With only one loss -- to Squirtle Squad -- the Heirs are in great position to defend their championship. They are tops in games played but that's not the reason they're winning; they're just very good. They are first in REB, FT%, STL, and BLK. Throw in the fact that they are second in PTS and very few teams will beat them. They are only 7th in FG% and AST (and horrible in TO) but no team can afford to be amazing across the board. Former teammates Kobe Bryant and Caron Butler are tearing apart the competition and Yao Ming, Kevin Martin, Monta Ellis, Udonis Haslem, Rasheed Wallace, and Samuel Dalembert are all great fantasy players. The only weak spot here has been the disappointing play of Kirk Hinrich but he's been picking it up of late.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (7-3)
The Pogiboys are the story of the first half of the season as they've gone for seven wins after winning a league low two games all of last year. They are a drastically transformed team with a full season from Chris Paul and his new cave man buddy Chris Kaman. The Pogiboys are no longer devastated by injury and are ranked very high in AST, STL, BLK, and FT%. They still have significant problems putting up PTS and REB but they're certainly very competitive, even handing the Squirtles their lone loss. Chauncey Billups is steady as ever, Rudy Gay has really emerged (and we won't even mention double double machine Kaman here), and Gerald Wallace is healthy and scoring. It's a shame Tyrus Thoomas and Darko Milicic can't really get it together but hey, the Pogiboys have Andrew Bynum and Al Horford to pick up the interior slack.

100AcreWoodPoohBears (5-5)
The Pooh Bears are a nice story themselves. They finished last season with a 38.1% winning percentage but they're playing even so far this season. As always, they can't score (PTS and 3PT are awful) but they shoot accurately and protect the ball. They have excellent FG%, FT%, and are tops in TO. If only they could get their STL and BLK numbers a bit higher, they would be a quite a threat. A full season of Pau Gasol has helped, as well as the return to form of Andrei Kirilenko (6 REB, 5 AST, 1.2 STL, 1.9 BLK). Let's crank up the defense!

Human Amoebas (4-6)
Always an intriguing team, the Amoebas have started off very average so far this season. They are ranked between 5th and 7th in FT%, PTS, AST, TO, and BLK. They are 9th in STL and 3PT with only one strength, REB (4th). They also shoot really poorly -- third to last. Still, this is a team with some serious talent. Dirk Nowitzki, Zach Randolph, Jason Kidd, Amare Stoudemire, and Richard Hamilton are standouts while Marvin Williams, Ben Wallace, and Daniel Gibons are all contributors. However, Raja Bell, Andrea Bargnani, Jarrett Jack, and Quentin Richardson have all turned in craptastic performances so far. What's next for the Amoebas?

Jedi Knights (2-7-1)
Our newest owner, Chris, is suffering from some growing pains. They are almost the exact opposite of the Sour Snails and Funk Coalition. The Knights are strong in REB, BLK, TO, and first in FG%. On the flip side, they're horrible in FT%, PTS, AST, STL, and 3PT. Their best bet to get a few wins is to push at least one of those latter categories up a few notches. Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, Emeka Okafor, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas have been what you'd expect. However, everyone else aside from Luol Deng and Grant Hill has been somewhat disappointing. The team desperately needs more outside shooting to complement Mike Miller, unless his 3PT are no longer needed at all.

Western Powers

Chunky Monkeys (3-0)
It hasn't been easy but Evan's Monkeys prove that they deserved to be in the Finals last year, despite suffering through a series with half of their top players missing. So far however, they've proven to be the cream of the Western Conference. Led by a healthy Joe Johnson, who is leading the charge with 23 PTS, 4 REB, 6 AST and 2 3PT per game. Jason Terry is also pushing for Sixth Man of the Year and he's been shotting an astonishing 54.9 FG% on his way to 20 PTS and 3.7 3PT a game. Oh wait, Manu Ginobili might take the Sixth Man Award this year, as he's going nutty with 20 PTS, 5 AST/REB and 2 STL/3PT a game.

With a such a solid backcourt, it hasn't hurt the Monkeys to have Gilbert Arenas suffereing from 38.7 FG% and only 22 PTS. Let's not forget about Josh Smith here either, as he's going out and producing 19 PTS, 7 REB, 2.4 STL, and 3.6 BLK a night. Wowza! This team is proving to be balanced and overall, much stronger than last year's excellent contending version.

Buffy (2-1)
Despite the loss of Elton Brand in pre-season, Buffy is still holding on to second place in the early going. With eight players averaging 15 points or more per game, this is a high scoring bunch. Baron Davis is contributing 9 AST and 1.5 STL/3PT a night, Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford combine for 32 PTS , 11 AST, 2.5 STL/3PT a game. Antawn Jamison is still nearly a 20-10 player (with 2.3 3PT to boot) and Rashard Lewis is popping 3PTs (3 a game) like nobody's business. Add in Tim Duncan and it's safe to say that losing Elton Brand, while slowing down Buffy, hasn't hobbled them in the least.

Fat Jubas (2-1)
The kings of the West last season, the Jubas were riding high before they got blasted by a rising Monkeys team this past week. Still, they are barely getting the full services of Dwayne Wade back -- despite losing Tracy McGrady for a few games -- so the Jubas should easily be in contention this season. They still have Tony Parker (18 PTS, 6 AST), Andre Igoudala (18 PTS, 6.7 REB, 5 AST, 1.9 STL), Josh Howard (23 PTS, 6 REB), Corey Maggette (20 PTS, 7.5 REB), Leandro Barbosa (20 PTS, 1.7 STL, 2.8 3PT), Al Jefferson (19.5 PTS, 11 REB), and LaMarcus Aldridge (19.5 PTS, 8 REB). Oh, did we already mention Wade and McGrady? Even rookie Yi Jianlian is showing signs of fantasy significance with 1.8 BLKs a game and some improving numbers. The only disappointment so far this season is Jermaine O'Neal's 13 PTs, 7.6 REB, and only 1.6 BLK per game.

Funk Coalition (0-3)
As always, the Funk have more point guards than you can shake a stick at. Raymond Felton, Jameer Nelson, Rafer Alston, Randy Foye, Kyle Lowry, Acie Law, and Sebastian Telfair. The problem is, all of these players have taken a step back -- excepting Jameer Nelson (13.8 PTS, 6.5 AST, 1.2 STL). AST and STL isn't the problem here, PTS and roster depth is. Lebron James is still a monster (29 PTS, 8 REB/AST, 1.8 STL) and Carmelo Anthony and Michael Redd are scoring machines -- albeit slightly less this year, combining for only 38 PTS per game but the end of this roster is ugly. The Big Three and the seven point guards might not be enough this year, so maybe a change is in order?

Sour Snails (0-3)
Hey, at least the Snails aren't in last! They haven't won yet but they've scored more categories than the Phanatics so are out of last place for the first time in their history! Schedule a parade! The Snails are actually looking pretty good. Holdovers Steve Nash and Iverson are combining for 45 PTS, 18 AST, 3 STL, 3.5 3PT a game. While Steven Jackson and Ron Artest are just starting to get into the swing of things and Jason Richardson has been struggling (41.7 FG%, 18 PTS, 2.5 3PT), there's signs of life here with new additions Kelenna Azubuike (17 PTS, 5.5 REB, 1.8 3PT), Damien Wilkins (16.6 PTS, 5.6 REB, 1.6 3PT), and of course, rookie Kevin Durant (37.4 FG%, 19 PTS, 1.3 STL/3PT), who's turning out to be a scoring machine. Hedo Turkoglu has been a nice surprise with 17 PTS, 6 REB, 4 AST, 1.2 STL and 1.8 3PT. Who is this guy?! How the pieces mesh together will be crucial for this team since they should have the players to become respectable at least.

Phanatics (0-3)
An ultra-talented team on paper continues to collapse under the weight of injuries and general mismanagement. Paul Pierce and Richard Jefferson are back to their old selves. David West (19 PTS, 7 REB, 1 STL/BLK), Drew Gooden (14 PTS, 10 REB), Al Harrington (20 PTS, 2.4 3PT), Lamar Odom (14.8 PTS, 8.8 REB), and Marcus Camby (13.5 REB, 1.4 STL, 3.3 BLK) are doing as expected and the roster is stacked top to bottom. What's the problem? Well, for one, Vince Carter has missed five games already and even when he was plaig, he was timid and put up only 17 PTS with 0.5 3PT. The piont guard situation on this team is atrocious. Luke Ridnour is injured, Ear Watson is well, Earl Watson, and Marcus Williams and Mike Conley is injured. This team has the talent to go far but they need a direction and a purpose.