Russell 2018: Thundercats

Funk Coalition (7-12)
If you’re not gonna win the Toilet Bowl, you might as well try to not be in it at all right? After back-to-back loser wins to secure Karl-Anthony Towns and Ben “Next Magic” Simmons, Funk Coalition has completed overturned his keeper core, keeping only KAT as his franchise cornerstone. Gone are Andre Drummond, DeAndre Jordan, Ricky Rubio, Rajon Rondo, and Tobias Harris. After a flurry of pre and in-season trades last year, the new look Funk is KAT, Simmons, Klay Thompson, D’Angelo Russell, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, and Derrick Favors. Also gone is big ball and with it a new analytics focused approach that completely removes decision making from GM Jon’s very subjective opinions.

With a young skewing roster, the perpetually rebuilding Funk drafted Celtics rookie Jayson Tatum at 2018 1.7, and will wait on his progress. With a hole at small forward until Tatum evolves into Paul Pierce 2.0, Funk drafted Thaddeus Young, Terrence Ross, and CJ Miles to fill up the wings. Nikola Mirotic will be on-board to spread the floor around KAT but the only other front court support here is Favors and FA pickup Cody Zeller. Time will tell if this more balanced version of Funk can succeed but with only one playoff berth in their history, and no division wins, a successful season for Jon would be even sniffing a post-season appearance. Good luck in this stacked division though...

Swamp Dragons (10-9)
After narrowly missing out on the playoffs, Swamp Dragons took their winning but no playoff appearance record and then proceeded to roll their way to the 2018 top pick. After having multiple discussions about trading down, GM Eddie decided to stay put and take the consensus #1, Markelle Fultz. Can Fultz make an impact on a crowded Sixers roster? We’ll find out! Swamp Dragons can afford to roll the dice on Fultz and his new free throw shooting mechanic because Dragon's post-LeBron James rebuild team has returned to competitiveness awfully fast. GM Eddie has done incredible work hitting on young talent via all avenues. Nikola Jokic via free agency, Jusuf Nurkic via draft, and Dennis Schroder via trade. And while the LeBron and Kyle Lowry for Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker trade seems to have been a bit of a loss — Parker was cut this off-season — Dragons can boast a wonderful talent base.

And in the potential of Fultz, the playing time ahead of sophomore Taurean Prince in RD3, plus Dewayne Dedmon, Jaylen Brown, and Allen Crabbe in the latter rounds of the draft and it’s clear that Eddie isn’t done fueling up even as the Swampies remain very competitive. And we haven’t even mentioned franchise player Paul George, who is headed to Oklahoma City to play second fiddle, but will likely remain a top tier fantasy force. Throw in the outside pop of Robert Covington (sixth keeper) and Eric Gordon (second 2018 RD1 pick resulting from LBJ trade) and Swamp is young, old, talented, deep, and a beautiful blend of just about everything. Let’s see if they’ll hit a Finals before even their most optimistic projections from a few years ago.

Team Spade (12-7)
With the most playoff appearances in SlamNation history (8), and never having missed the playoffs even once, the Spade franchise has a case for second most successful team in history. Since Randall took over in the 2014 season, he’s gone 51-25, and never had were than twelve wins in a season. A tremendously stable keeper core has helped as Spade has only changed one keeper during Randall’s time at the helm: Kobe Bryant in 2017 for Devin Booker. Just one keeper change in four years! The non-Booker five of Kawhi Leonard, Paul Millsap, Kevin Love, Al Horford, and Eric Bledsoe have just stuck around, and between them, they’ve provided Spade with awesome firepower in every category. Aha, but what about playoff success you say!? Well, Spade has only reached one Finals during this time, in 2016, and while they are perennial contenders, they do have quite the injury prone reputation — Kawhi, Love, and Booker are already DTD to start the season.

The strategy in drafts has always been for Randall to supplement his balanced top six. This year welcomes Reggie Jackson, Dion Waiters, and Patty Mills to the backcourt. Zach Randolph will get bruise his way to his usual numbers, and there’s hope that sophomore Willy Hernangomez can get a starting gig alongside best friend Kristaps Porzingis. Spade also took a flier on 7’3” Boban Marjanovic, who may not get much time in Detroit but will be a fan favorite at least. Maybe Boban can be the lucky charm that can get Spade a return to the playoffs and a much coveted ring.

Chunky Monkeys (18-1)
Of course, for anyone to get to a Finals, they’ll have to get through Chunky Monkeys first. Well, actually no. That’s not the case, because despite going all-in on LeBron James at the beginning of the 2016 season, Evan’s team hasn’t reach the Finals yet in two tries. Last year’s first round upset came on the heels of Kyle Lowry’s injury and while Chunky is loaded with a LeBron, James Harden, and Lowry trio, more tinkering could be needed to find the perfect complementary pieces to The King and The Beard. Last year’s version of Monkeys featured a lot of 3PT, including a combined 3.0 from centers Marc Gasol and Serge Ibaka. Now Ibaka is gone and Monkeys will play more traditionally with Gasol as the lone space clearer at center, as non-3PT shooting Clint Capela is Ibaka’s keeper replacement. Along with that, Otto Porter Jr. came on strong as a younger and better version of Jae Crowder, and he replaced the ex-Celtic in the keeper core.

Unfortunately, Monkey’s draft was slightly confusing. A team with a heavy veteran bent went young with Jamychal Green, Kris Dunn, Caris Levert, Mo Harkless, and Jerian Grant for their draft — Monkeys didn’t have a RD1 but did have two RD2 plus various other trades. The only championship ready contributor here is likely Patrick Beverly, who has a new starting gig in Clipperland. If the real LBJ was GM-ing this team, he’d be demanding some seasoned vets already, as who knows how long his championship window can stay open (with the new look Celtics obviously winning the title in 2019…). Of course, Evan went a league leading 18-1 last year, even beating out 17-1-1 Sour Snails, so it’s hard to say that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Will we finally see a Monkeys versus Snails in a Mt. Carmel title bout?!