Boogietown

We’re a little behind but we gotta cover the trades that dropped before the deadline because they were huge and have already impacted the playoffs! Two weeks ago we thought it would be a quiet trade deadline as rumors swirled but nothing seemed to happen. The biggest move seemed likely to involve Tobias Harris, just like in the real NBA, but then a huge blockbuster came out a few hours after: DeMarcus Cousins, traded! Then Boogie immediately Boogied and got suspended by the Kings. Haha. But who will have the last laugh on that deal? Could we find out in Brother Bowl II?!?

• ID#61: Funk Coalition receive Tobias Harris from NJ All-Stars in exchange for Funk’s 2017 RD2
• ID#62: Sour Snails receive Hassan Whiteside, Bradley Beal, Luol Deng, Death Star’s 2017 RD1 in exchange for DeMarcus Cousins, Rudy Gay, David Lee, and Snails 2017 RD3
• ID#63: Chunky Monkeys receive Serge Ibaka from Squirtle Squad in exchange for Goran Dragic and Meyers Leonard
• ID#64: Sour Snails receive Dirk Nowitzki from Silent Crows in exchange for Bradley Beal

Let’s take a look at the four pre-deadline moves starting with the biggest of them all, the swap that netted our defending champs Hassan Whiteside, Luol Deng, a first rounder next year, and (eventually) Dirk Nowitzki! With a hefty lead in PTS over every other team, GM Trieu felt he could afford moving the all around awesomeness of Cousins (acquired back in 2013 as part of a mega-deal that shipped out Kevin Love) for Whiteside’s more focused 11.8 REB and 3.7 BLK, not to mention 61.1 FG%. Luol Deng has been balling it up over the past two weeks too, dropping in impressive all around numbers that mitigated losing Rudy Gay.

And then Snails did a quick follow up deal that flipped the injury prone Beal for Nowitzki, further adding juice to a high scoring team that bombs from deep. Dirk ain’t Dirk anymore, but he’s still at 18.8 PTS, 6.7 REB, 1.7 3PT on the season, with sterling percentages. It’s an all-in move by Snails, securing a championship savvy veteran, and all indications point toward Snails not being shy about defending their title. All in all, it’s hard to say if Snails got more or less dominant but gaining a huge uptick in BLK addresses one of their few weaknesses. Good luck SlamNation...

As for Death Star, they have already used Cousins to win a first round battle and even if this season doesn’t end in another Finals appearance or a title, they’ll have 27.1 PTS, 11.6 REB, 3.3 AST, 1.5 STL, 1.4 BLK and 1.1 3PT of Boogie-town to pair with John Wall and Damian Lillard. And let’s not sleep on Rudy Gay’s underrated versatility as a forward who contributes 17.2 PTS, 6.4 REB, 1.3 STL, and 1.1 3PT per game. Gay is back with Death Star after being moved three years ago. Overall we love this trade for Thien because of both its immediate impact and the future implications of having Cousins as the front court anchor. This post-season could see Death Star prove themselves as the definitive cream of Russell Conference after this mega-deal.

Nowitzki was moved as an old-for-young (again) to Silent Crows in exchange for the oft-moved Bradley Beal. It’s a great deal as Crows were out of playoff contention this year and can weather another injured player with Blake Griffin and Carmelo Anthony ailing. Beal is capable of 17.5 PTS, 1.9 3PT per game but he’ll have to stay on the court more often to emerge as a reliable piece. He’s still just twenty-two years old so a long career should still await him. Plus, he’ll have plenty of company in the training room!

Our last deadline deal involved championship hopeful Chunky Monkeys finally pulling the trigger on a big man. They flipped Goran Dragic — attached to at least three other teams — for Serge Ibaka and that gives them the frontline presence they’ve long needed alongside Marc Gasol. Ibaka is having a slightly down year, averaging only 12.6 PTS, 6.8 REB, and most importantly, an “underwhelming” 2.0 BLKs, but he should bounce back to higher numbers next seasons. And next year it’ll have to be because for all of GM Evan’s all-in pushes this season, injuries torn apart his dreams and he’ll have sit on vacation until LeBron and Harden can give it another shot in 2017.

As for Squirtles, they’ll continue their Toilet Bowl run with the newly acquired Dragic, who has been awesome the past few weeks, averaging 16.4 PTS, 7.3 AST, and almost a STL and 3PT per game. Brian’s team has been lacking a true point guard since the rapid decline of Ty Lawson, but Dragic should fit the bill nicely. And if Zach LaVine or Greek Freak really are point guards too, well then...

So, that's another exciting trade deadline in the books, and thank goodness we got a mega-deal to mull over. Toward the offseason and more fireworks gentlemen!