Team Spade (2-19, 12-7)Coming off twelve wins in 2017 and back-to-back division titles in 2015-6, Spade had never missed the playoffs. Well, that all came to a crashing halt in 2018 didn’t it? Injuries to Kawhi Leonard and Paul Millsap tanked this team, and maybe Randall threw in the towel?
Still, with one of the best keeper cores around — all six of Leonard, Millsap, Eric Bledsoe, Al Horford, Kevin Love, Devin Booker return — Spade is a constant threat to win a title. All of it basically comes down to injuries, as Booker is already out to start the year. The return of Minnesota Love will be a huge boon to Spade and despite having draft slot 1.3, Randall chose to trade the pick for Will Barton, and the proceeded to roll the dice on Danilo Gallinari in RD2. If the Rooster can stay even somewhat healthy, he could be a top sixty player. Big “if” though.
The mix and match bench of Kelly Olynyk, Spencer Dinwiddie, Ryan Anderson, and new Spurs' point guard Bryn Forbes brings some spare shooting but if they get a lot of minutes, that probably means Spade is dealing with too many injuries again.
LA Buffy (3-16-2, 7-11-1)
Another team at its very bottom, Buffy has also seen much better days. The good news is that a youth movement is afoot, and GM Roger is squarely on the rebuild path. Gone are old keepers George Hill and Serge Ibaka, along with Danilo Gallinari, Isaiah Thomas, and Khris Middleton. The new keeper core is headlined by 2017 #2 overall pick Brandon Ingram, who should be ready to come into his own now. The late season swap of Middleton yielded Klay Thompson and Nikola Mirotic, while Kyle Kuzma and Derrick Favors were the return from cashing out on Isaiah Thomas. Add in preseason monster Domantas Sabonis and we’re looking at a brand new Buffy core.
And who to lead all the new guys out on the floor? How about RD1.4 Trae Young?! While Young has a long way to go to fulfill his Steph Curry comps, there’s no doubt that Young will get all the shots he wants to throw up, and will add tons of nifty dimes. And should he falter, Roger drafted Reggie Jackson, Jeremy Lin, and Malcolm Brogdon with successive picks to really shore up the lead guard position -- plus Bojan Bogdanovic and Allen Crabbe for some shooting. Will that be enough to take Buffy out of the cellar?
IL Conceived (8-12-1, 0-18-1)After inheriting a winless team led by Jeff Teague and Jrue Holiday, Frank has fully transformed the former Jedi Knights into a promising playoff team. After a handful of trades and a dispersal draft, IL Conceived’s keepers now look like: Donovan Mitchell, Dennis Smith Jr, Draymond Green, Dario Saric, Marc Gasol, and Will Barton (since moved). Add that all together and we’re looking at a promising young core, plus the veteran savvy of Draymond and Gasol in the middle. Not bad!
With the potential to win now, IL Conceived still invested in youth by using their Toilet Bowl runner-up to grab RD1.2 Luka Doncic and then traded Barton to Spade to get 1.3 and nabbed Jaren Jackson Jr. Could he have scored two more prizes in another loaded draft? Looks like it! Another rookie, athletic Miles Bridges came on-board in RD2, followed by hometown shooter Eric Gordon and then Willy Hernangomez. Plus Aaron Holiday, the um, replacement Holiday brother. With a fast ascent ahead, IL Conceived will look to fully shed its dark past and take this formerly sorry franchise to the top!
Hilt the Stilt (9-11-1, 4-15)
Taking over for Sager’s Suit and Ties, new owner Dave would have inherited a veteran laden team pre-dispersal. However, during the three-team dispersal, Dave eschewed anyone remotely old and their “team elder” is twenty-six year old Victor Oladipo, the most recent NBA Most Improved Player. Here’s the rest of the keepers: Andre Drummond, Steven Adams, and Josh Richardson are all twenty-five, while Aaron Gordon is twenty-three. Throw in possible blow up sophomore Jarrett Allen at twenty years old and Hilt is looking very future forward.
And to prove that Hilt the Stilt is building for the long haul, they reeled in rookies Kevin Knox and Mikal Bridges with their first two picks, plus nabbed coveted Derrick White after Dejounte Murray went down to injury -- but now White is out, ouch. While there is bit of a hole at point guard -- unless uber-subs Terry Rozier hit or Fred VanVleet get more minutes -- this team is not only super young but also very likely quite competitive. Oladipo, Drummond, and Gordon can all be multi-category monsters and we’re thrilled to see what Dave can do for this year and many years to come!
Squirtle Squad (9-10-2, 8-11)Upended in the first round one year after getting runner-up in the Toilet Bowl last year, Squirtle is thirsting to get back into the playoffs after two years spent as a number-one seed in the Toilet Bowl — and three years removed from a division title. With a big upgrade at the end of the keeper core with Lonzo Ball and Dejounte Murray over Marquese Chriss and Thon Maker, Squirtles were looking to re-ascend. Only problem: injuries. Ball is coming off knee surgery and Murray was just hammered with an ACL tear. With Zach LaVine just returning to full strength, it must be frustrating for Brian.
The good news is that Giannis Antetokounmpo is a leading MVP candidate and Nikola Vucevic somehow morphed into a 1+ 3PT/STL/BLK player, and he’s only twenty-seven! Is he the most underrated fantasy asset around? There’s a bit of age on keeper staple Goran Dragic but he’s coming off his first All-Star game so there’s likely still plenty of fire left in Dragon.
During the draft, Brian nabbed Mo Bamba at RD1.8 and can afford to wait on him. A pair of shooting guards, Evan Fournier and JJ Redick, will provide offense next to Giannis and frankly, this team is better constructed around Greek Freak than the real Bucks. DeMarre Carroll and Al-Farouq Aminu are low-end swingmen and rookie Mitchell Robinson also was pickd up. Now if only Squirtles can kick the injury bug...
Sour Snails (10-11, 17-1-1)
Never one to rest on his laurels, former multi-champ has already shoot up his keepers by moving Damian Lillard for Kemba Walker and Tobias Harris. A keeper core that was sharply divided between three top fifteen stars -- Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, Lillard -- and some toss ups now looks much deeper. Kemba and Tobias add nice depth to the Curry/Durant combo and Brook Lopez and Julius Randle are now both freed form the shackles of Lakerdom. We’re not sure what Isaiah Thomas has left but he’ll at least score in bunches.
With rumors swirling that Snails was working on another mega-deal during the draft, the ex-defending champs are looking to return to title contention. RD1 pick Caris LeVert could be on the verge of a breakout and once again, Nerlens “Dwight-bola Jr.” Noel returns to perhaps redeem his career. Trieu scooped up Pascal Siakam, JaVale McGee, and Trey Lyles to round out the bench. After just a ten-win regular season and a low playoff seed, we thought we were rid of the Snails’ dynasty, but with last year’s upset Finals run, and a slight rejiggering of keepers, Snails is still a threat to win it all.
So Buckets (14-6-1, 11-8)With two playoff appearances in a row and a Voltron division title to boast about, So Buckets were getting so good that they were shifted over to Chamberlain to help balance the conferences! The tight core of Joel Embiid, Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, Rudy Gobert, and CJ McCollum (plus Jabari Parker replacing Dario Saric) recently ranked as one of the best in SlamNation. Having collected all that talent mostly through the draft, So Buckets is now primed and ready for a title run.
And doesn’t Josh know it! Their draft has reflected their title aspirations as they took known quantities like Harrison Barnes, Dwight Howard, and Carmelo Anthony RD1-3. Yes yes, we know it’s Dwight and Melo, but both still have their uses. Howard is a huge double-double and Melo will bomb 3PT in Houston. Barnes isn’t an exciting player but he’s a steady point getter. Add in young prospects like Montrezl Harrell and Frank Ntilikina waiting on the bench and the only question for this ring chaser is how many games Embiid can play this season. If it's more than sixty-five, So Buckets should be a strong title contender once again.
Another Bad Creation (15-5-1, 9-10)
Coming off three straight Transformer division titles, Another Bad Creation led Chamberlain in regular season wins last year but continued their disturbing trend of getting upset in the first round — twice by Fat Jubas, last year by Snails. The entire keeper roster has been overturned, save for Russell Westbrook and LaMarcus Aldridge. Tyreke Evans was a beast last year, and here’s hoping he stays that way in Indiana. Enes Kanter has found Internet fame and a home in New York, and TJ Warren just gets buckets. We’re not exactly what Reggie Bullock is doing being kept but apparently he's the the way to a breakout?
There’s no questioning that Oliver knows what he’s doing though, as their rising win total suggests. Building a squad around Westbrook serves as an interesting challenge and the draft brought in Elfrid Payton, Kyle Anderson, Rodney Hood, and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. All four have some room to grow, as well as redemptive paths. Maybe Suns rookie Elie Okobo will grab a role in Phoenix, or Jonathon Simmons increases his in Orland, but really all ABC needs is Westbrook to stay healthy to lead them toward a first round playoff win.
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