Trade Machine 2017

Well that was a bummer of a NBA trade deadline. Although Boogie going to New Orleans was pretty huge. Despite the trade deadline being a lot quieter than expected, we can still look at our own league and talk about some potential trades. As always, I'm trying to drum up some potential moves!

So as everyone positions themselves for the playoffs -- or the Toilet Bowl -- what assets are they holding and/or looking to acquire? Last year we had eleven trades on the year, so far we’re up to seven in 2017. Let’s get a couple of more trades in to beat the March 12th roster lock deadline shall we? Everyone should make a trade, just for the hell of it, take a chance! We’ll be looking at teams in reverse order of moves made this year, just to encourage some owners to shift things around! [Mid-Season Reports: Voltron | Thundercats | Silverhawks | Transformers]

Team Cameltoe (6-10)
As one of the new owners in the league, Felipe has been quiet on the moves front, but that’s likely by design. The NBA trade deadline really shook things up for Cameltoe as he owns three SAC-NO players: Anthony Davis, Buddy Hield, and Willie Cauley-Stein. Even though Derrick Rose, Brook Lopez, Carmelo Anthony, Wilson Chandler, and Nick Young weren’t on the move, this roster could have been shook up even more. So far, Hield and Cauley-Stein obviously both get tons of minutes, while The Brow could see a slight decline. This team is deep though and heading into the Toilet Bowl could have some spare assets such as Chandler, Nick Young, and maybe even Elfrid Payton available for sale. Needs: A rebounder to pair with Anthony Davis, plus maybe some STL. There’s extra BLK here, so that could mean Brook Lopez’s low REB but high BLK and 3PT is a trade target.

Jedi Knights (0-15-1)
Having already made one in-season trade this year, Jedi is always game for more. Ranking low in almost every category, GM Lum just needs to acquire assets. The off-season acquisition of Jeff Teague was a good one and he’s now the team’s best player on the team. Could Teague be sold for an extra draft pick or two? Also, Markieff Morris is balling out lately with 19.1 PTS, 8.3 REB, 1.8 3PT in the past month so he could be a target for a contender who needs a nice buff. Or most likely is Thad Young, who is averaging a sweet 1.8 STL from the wing. Won't somebody come give Jedi some talent?

Sager’s Suits and Ties (3-13)
New owner Matt has only made one pickup this season: Adding Al Jefferson and dropping Willie Cauley-Stein back in November. That’s not looking so hot now with DeMarcus out of Sacramento. But no matter, Sager’s Suits and Ties are on the come up and looking to make some noise in the Toilet Bowl as they slowly heal up. For one, Blake back! SST could use some extra PTS, REB, 3PT or maybe they’ll just accept their losses in those categories and think about moving Lou Williams, who has a ton of value but isn’t likely a keeper heading into next season. Who couldn’t use 18.6 PTS and 2.1 3PT for their post-season run? For all the talk about no point guard post-dispersal draft, Matt’s team is actually pretty good in AST but could use a better long term option at the position. Fact: STT is ranked number two in FG% meaning they can take on some poor shooters if necessary!

Snack Bears (3-13)
Brandon’s team already participated in a major trade this season, but word on the street is that he could be looking for another deal. Snack just beat our lone undefeated team with a big man lineup but going into the future what they really need is a point guard or two as they are very low in 3PT, AST, and STL. So if they are looking to balance out their lineup some, perhaps someone wants to move for Dwight Howard? Even in his post-prime, Howard is averaging 12.6 PTS, 12.6 REB, and about a block and steal per game, along with tremendous FG%. So if you’re looking for a small-to-big trade, this is the team to talk to! Rumors also swirl that Evan Fournier is on the block for a guard who does less scoring, but provides more defensive stats.

Fob Stars (8-8)
This team was shaken up in the mega-three teamer a month ago but is fighting hard for the Chamberlain Conferencee wild card playoff spot so another move could be possible. For one, Marcin Gortat and Tyson Chandler are both oldies averaging over ten rebounds a game. They’re very similar players at this point, with Gortat scoring more. If you need a bump in big man stats, Gortat is your target. Also there is the astounding James Johnson, who absolutely fills up the box score but likely isn’t a keeper, so he could be available. And for real cheap help, maybe Trevor Ariza’s 3PT/STL combination intrigues you? We aren’t quite sure how Fob looks post-mega trade it seems like they could use one less scoring type — Ryan Anderson, Tobias Harris, Jamal Murray — in exchange for someone who gets some more defensive stats.

Team Spade (11-5)
Damn Randall was quick to snatch Tim Frazier off the free agent pile! Having cycled through love/hate relationships with John Henson, Ty Lawson, and CJ Miles all season long, let’s hope Spade has found a useful piece in Frazier for the stretch run. The thing is, this contender already has a lot of guard stats, and could probably use more frontline help — especially in BLK. With Kevin Love out for awhile, there’s a dearth of REB too. Could someone like Jrue Holiday, JJ Redick, or even Kyle Korver net Randall some frontline insurance? We think so, as they have a pretty big glut of smalls and is working with the likes of Ersan Ilyasova and Jared Sullinger at the back end of their roster.

Another Bad Creation (7-9)
It’s likely a non-winning team will take Transformers division this year, as ABC is tied with Squirtle Squad at 7-9 for the division title and a post-season spot. After starting off 6-2, ABC has gone 1-7 the past two months and they desperately need a shakeup. It seems like Oliver’s squad has a lot of scoring and is pretty even across the board, but they could use REB help as their top guy there is Kevin Durant with 8.3 per game — where are you on the boards LaMarcus Aldridge?! There’s a couple of useful pieces here that might intrigue someone, namely all-offense bigs like Dirk Nowitzki, Greg Monroe, and Jahlil Okafor. What ABC desperately needs is a point guard option to carry them through the rest of the season as Tony Parker is not the solution. Do we hear a team with lots of spare point guard options coming (should TJ McConnell come back to the team) to call on ABC? Let’s hope so!

LA Buffy (5-10-1)
It’s been a weird season for Buffy as they have picked up some good wins but also lost to Snack Bears handily and somehow managed to tie Jedi Knights in W15. Roger’s been busy since the year started and has been mining the free agent wire for potential finds. This team is decent in most categories but is very weak in AST, STL, and BLK. Even with the return of Khris Middleton that won’t change much. With Isaiah Thomas almost single handedly carrying this team, Buffy is just looking to make a Toilet Bowl run to grab another high pick. If they swing the other way though, and go for more of a rebuild, they have a little bit of everything on offer. REB? Zach Randolph or Kenneth Faried. BLK? Robin Lopez. All-around glue guy? Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. PTS? Maybe Danilo Gallinari or George Hill is available. Even the recently hot Bojan Bogdanovic could add something to a contender. Lots of options here while this team has some clear weak spots to easily negotiate around and fill.

Funk Coalition (6-10)
In the midst of another major roster balancing, Funk has gone 0.500 since a 0-4 start to the season. That's not bad! All their big men are gone and now they’re finally getting their recent trade assets back to health. If Ben Simmons return anytime in the next month, Jon’s team could have a shot at more Toilet Bowl glory. Having said that, there’s also a clear need for another point guard type here as there’s no backup behind injury prone D’Angelo Russell. Kent Bazemore has been playing pretty good post-Korver trade, but what this team really has on offer is either Nerlens Noel (yet to pay dividends from a draft day trade) or Derrick Favors, neither of whom has made much of an impact pre-All Star break but could be lined up for a better second half. If you got a spare point guard, come talk to me!

Swamp Dragons (9-7)
In a dog fight for the wild card spot in Russell Conference, the Swampies need a break as they are finishing up the year against two super contenders from their own division. Losing Jabari Parker for the year really hurts but there’s a chance Jusuf Nurkic just got a new lease on fantasy life with this trade to Portland. Well balanced, Eddie’s team is mostly lacking in BLK, with Robert Covington basically leading this team in that category. Looking over the roster, there’s not much Swamp needs, outside of maybe an upgrade on the erratic Reggie Jackson, who has been injured. Most likely though, Swamp looks like a seller, as they have some likely non-keeper assets that could be moved for other assets. Anyone want to roll the dice on Jackson returning to form? Or maybe buy-in on Malcolm Brodgon or Willy Hernangomez?

Chunky Monkeys (15-1)
Our Cavaliers to Sour Snails’ Warriors, there’s two true contender this year and now that Evan and Trieu have both lost a game apiece, they’re eyeing each other for some pre-playoff moves. So any trade these GMs make would be likely aimed at taking each other down. Toward that end, Chunky trails Snails in PTS, REB, STL, and FT%. Do they double down on their strengths or push to catch up in those categories? The big Serge Ibaka to Toronto trade likely gives him more playing time, which will really help Monkey’s frontline. The Otto Porter fleecing earlier this year has been delicious, quietly making Jae Crowder redundant and a trade chip. With Chunkys all-in for a title, the likes of Seth Curry and Clint Capela should be available for cheap and maybe a package of Crowder, Curry, and Capela can net them the right piece for their championship hopes. Curry and Capela are definitely not gonna be keepers on this team, but could be on a lower tier squad. So, who wants to trade now for later?

Fat Jubas (11-5)
As the second best team in Chamberlain Conference — and one of only two teams in Chamberlain with a winning record — Eric’s team is the default dark horse to take out Sour Snails before this year's Finals. Their WK8 matchup was actually pretty close, with a few percentage points in both categories and a handful of PTS, 3PT, and TO going Trieu’s way. Jubas will get another look at Snails in the regular season closer, and maybe they’ll be able to hone down what else they need to complete a playoff upset. Of course, that’s assuming they’re healthy. Right now there’s five players on the roster who are hurt, with Chris Paul and Pau Gasol coming back soon. Analysts have determined that what Jubas needs right now is STL/BLK, and they are likely shopping some scoring to get it. Does Austin Rivers or Will Barton interest you? Or maybe a bigger deal for Harrison Barnes or Jonas Valanciunas? Jubas has plenty of PTS but not enough defensive stats. So, who’s selling swipes and blocks and willing to help Jubas dethrone the defending back-to-back champs?!

So Buckets (9-7)
In a dogfight with Swamp Dragons for a playoff spot, So Buckets has hit a 1-3 swoon and needs to finish strong to return to the playoffs. To be honest, they don’t really need much, as this is a well assembled roster post-CJ McCollum acquisition. The bigger question is how often Joel Embiid plays down the stretch and how much better Aaron Gordon will get now that Orlando’s front court has been cleared a bit. Josh’s team has six clear keepers, which leaves rookie Dario Saric on the outside looking in. Here’s the thing: Saric is good! With recent averages of 16.8 PTS, 6.9 REB, 1.8 3PT on good percentages, Saric could maintain his value even with Embiid and Ben Simmons around. So who might want to make a movie for a potential keeper? Or does someone trying to make a push want to take a look at Jamal Crawford’s offense for a rental? I guess a lot depends on if So Buckets makes the playoffs or not, as a fall into the Toilet Bowl might entice them to keep their roster intact to make a run at a top draft pick.

Squirtle Squad (7-9)
Brian’s been making a lot of moves this year, thirty "adds" to be exact, more than doubling the league average. (FYI: The league averag is sixteen, although if you take out Thien’s huge outlier number of sixty-three, the average drops to about thirteen adds per owner). A lot of this is due to them battling for a division title and a playoff spot, and they’ve done well in going 3-1 in recent weeks, picking up steam against division rival Another Bad Creation. GM Brian has also savvily been stocking his roster with upside as he plans for a future with Giannis Antetokounmpo leading the way. With that in mind, Squirtles are holding onto rookies Marquese Chriss, Thon Maker, Caris LeVert, and Denzel Washington even though none of them are really fantasy relevant yet.

You know who doesn’t fit with this youth movement? Thirty year old Goran Dragic! With averages of 20.3 PTS, 6.2 AST, 1.6 3PT, Dragic could be a very useful piece for a contender -- traded away last year for the opposite reason -- and we just mentioned how many teams need point guards. With Zach LaVine out for the year anyway (leaving this team very light in the 3PT department), Squirtles could look to shed a veteran to better align their team with their bright future. Or they could just sit tight and win the Toilet Bowl and go draft a franchise guard as the perfect complement to Dark Giannis.

Sour Snails (15-1)
And now we get down to the two brothers who are whipping us all in moves and free agent grabs. While Trieu has only sifted through the free agent pile five more times than Squirtle, they’ve assembled a hell of a productive bench. A bench full of guards! Dion Waiters has been on fire while Darren Collison and Tim Hardaway Jr. have also been quietly excellent. And then there’s TJ McConnell and D-League sensation Yogi Ferrell who has just inherited the Dallas starting gig. Having Avery Bradley injured hasn’t made this team miss a beat and that could make Bradley open for offers. We’re not sure how Snails will look to three-peat against the LeBron-led Monkeys, but rumors are that they want to upgrade their frontline and could move some of these extra guards to improve on Gorgui Dieng and Juancho Hernangomez to better combat Evan's bigs. So, who needs some guards, selling them right here!

Against All Odds (12-4)
A recent name change from Dragon Warriors declares Thien’s mission for the year: upset championship, assemble the true believers! With Boogie leading the way, can Against All Odds make it to the Finals again and try for their first title? Well, it’s not for lack of trying! GM Thien has gone through sixty-three "adds" this seasons so far and is our leader in Games Played. However, there’s only five sure keepers on this team — pre-draft trade acquisition Jordan Clarkson was kept this season but he could be challenged by Gary Harris or Mason Plumlee — and that leaves room for AAO to upgrade. For one, they have an excess of REB, AST, and STL. And while they aren’t outright bad anywhere except FG%, they could use a boost in BLK if they wanted to, as they only have Cousins and Plumlee averaging less than 2.5 BLK combined. We don’t know what kind of deals AAO could be interested in but maybe a big could work, with an injured Rudy Gay on the block or maybe a two-for-one with some of those aforementioned side pieces to consolidate. Either way, congrats to the best manager and coach in the league, Thien!