2015 Championship: Splashing In

Get ready for a lot of superlatives guys because Sour Snails, the undisputed regular season king of SlamNation, has won their second title of the new cycle, thus becoming our first two time champion. And they did it in dominating fashion.

With a six year regular season record of 65-21-1 for a 75.6% winning percentage, Sour Snails has made it into the playoffs every season save one (and that was the year they made the Toilet Bowl finals), won a title in 2010, captured four Silverhawks division titles, and has led SlamNation in regular season wins three times. And they did all this despite trading away LeBron James in his absolute prime.

That trade netted them Kevin Love at the beginning of his fantasy ascendancy, but it’s safe to say that King James would have been better. In fact, the entire core of 2010 championship team basically switched over, with only Steph Curry, a rookie at the time, being the only holdover. So this isn’t an old team eeking out one last win before riding off into the sunset, instead, GM Trieu has retooled as he’s maintained his dominance.

Let’s look at some of the major trades, and hone in on 2013, aka the season where Snails really rebuilt coming off a 4-8 2012 campaign. First, Trieu drafted Damian Lillard at #2 overall. Then, in January they moved Kevin Love and a 2014 RD1 pick for DeMarcus Cousins, Monta Ellis, Andre Drummond, and a 2014 RD3. Love was an injury prone fantasy star and Cousins was coming on, while Ellis was a mainstay for the Snails. Two months before that regular season ended, Trieu packaged Drummond and Josh Smith together to bring in Russell Westbrook. And while Westbrook went through his injury woes the past few seasons, he’s combined with Curry to become the best fantasy backcourt in the land. With Cousins manning the paint with his 24.1 PTS, 12.7 REB, 1.7 BLK, 1.5 STL, 46.7 FG%, Sour Snails trampled the competition this season.

Then there’s the championship swingmen, Rudy Gay and Jimmy Butler, both acquired via trades in the past year. Oh right, did we mention Klay Thompson? The other Splash Brother was acquired off the free agent lists during his rookie season before emerging as a true force this year. The only curious thing is how, aside from the inaugural 2010 draft, Trieu hasn’t really drafted particularly well, instead relying on trades and free agent pickups to keep his roster stocked with talent. Tidbit: Sour Snails has participated in fifteen total trades, including six during the 2013 season!

And speaking of free agents, no championship team would be complete without its role players. Sour Snails used Robert Covington and Taj Gibson to good effect throughout the season, and also had Jordan Clarkson, Jarret Jack, Ed Davis, and Tyler Zeller fill in for useful stretches. Clarkson was especially incredible during championship week with 23.6 PTS, 8.7 AST, 6.7 REB, 1.0 3PT/STL, and 63.6 FG% over three games. Holy Minnesota Lakers!

It’s been an incredible six year stretch for Sour Snails, and we’re happy to see Trieu win another long deserved title. What we fear is that this could evolve into a repeat or a three-peat, and then what will the rest of us in SlamNation do? Cower now before this super Sour Snails team!

As for the loser of the Brother Bowl, High Riser put up a great fight, and could have literally stolen the title with a few more swipes or blocks. Instead, Thien will leave the 2015 Finals as the runner-up, while celebrating their breakthrough post-season performance after years of playoff disappointment.

Franchise cornerstones John Wall and Damian Lillard got a taste of the championship spotlight and let’s not forget that Brandon Knight and Tyreke Evans combined to average 33.6 PTS, 11.7 AST, 9.2 REB, 2.9 3PT, and 2.6 STL this season, to fully stuff the stat sheet. And then there was old man Dwyane Wade, who showed that he’s far from done. The pre-season trades for Tyreke Evans and Trevor Ariza worked out fantastic for High Riser, and oh yeah, let’s not forget the discovery of Hassan Whiteside -- who missed Sunday’s game, where his BLK could have made the difference.

And then there’s Riser's 2015 draft pick, rookie Julius Randle, who will return to the court after a season spent in rehab. High Riser’s future is certainly bright and after this invigorating championship run they’ll be poised to contend again.

2015 Toilet Bowl: Losers First

Well, it was only fitting that during a Toilet Bowl season where every matchup was won by the underdog, our 2015 Toilet Bowl champions, Funk Coalition, were the worst team in the regular season, and now they’ll be rewarded with the #1 pick in the next draft. (Last season’s Toilet Bowl finals featured both #1 seeds, while this year’s was both #4 seeds.)

After narrowly squeezing by NJ All-Stars in the semi-finals, Funk took advantage of four extra games -- and some timely STL and a barrage of 3PT from DeMarre Carroll and Andre Iguodala -- to squeak out another close victory. For a team that suffered through a seven and six game losing streak this season, this Toilet Bowl was a bright spot as Funk strung together three straight wins for the first time, in well, possibly forever.

Now they’ll get to add a huge piece next season, as they look hard at the young big men currently embroiled in March Madness. Will DeAndre Jordan and Andre Drummond have a Jahlil Okafor or Karl-Anthony Towns to suit up next to them, or could a swingman such as Justise Winslow or Emmanuel Mudiay join Funk? Who knows! Congrats to Funk for their first Toilet Bowl!

As for Fob Stars, they were the second worst team in SlamNation and they’re in dire need of a talent infusion too. Getting another young big man to pair with the explosive Nerlens Noel could really help their perpetual rebuilding project. And perhaps the high pick will attract new ownership? There have been rumors flying that Jimmy is looking to sell if the price is right, but maybe this Toilet Bowl showing will induce them to stick around instead?

Either way, with so many potential stars in the upcoming 2015 NBA Draft, both Funk Coalition and Fob Stars are in a good position to build upon lost seasons that ended up in some happiness in the form of a Toilet Bowl finals showing.

2015 Finals Previews

FINALS PREVIEW
#1 Sour Snails (17-1-1) vs #3 High Riser (13-5-1)
Yes! It’s here, the much anticipated Brother Bowl! Who will Momma T support as Trieu and Thien go head-to-head for the title? There’s a lot on the line here, as Sour Snails is threatening to become the first two title winner since the reset — they won in 2008, and 2010, the first year of the new cycle. And for High Riser, it’s little brother versus big brother, and we know how epic those showdowns can be. This could be bragging rights for years if Thien can pull off the huge upset!

High Riser is equipped to take down Sour Snails too, as one of the few teams that can kind of match up with a high powered Snails backcourt that seems to be good at everything. After years of notching plus 0.500 regular season records but not really being a championship threat, Thien’s team broke out this season with thirteen wins and knocked off division foe Morrie’s Pogiboys in the Conference Finals to advance.

In a way, this High Riser team is a Dr. Frankenstein construct of Sour Snails. There was the Damian Lillard for Rudy Gay trade that set up High Riser’s Double Dragons backcourt. And then the pre-draft acquisitions of Tyreke Evans and Trevor Ariza — both of whom were huge during last week’s game. (Ariza led the team in rebounding and the helped push Riser to the win.) But GM Thien’s filled out the roster admirably around his shifting pieces. John Wall was the reward for that Toilet Bowl win. Hassan Whiteside was the reward for being diligent on the free agent wire. In fact, Thien is usually the league leader in Moves, and this year he had 108 — almost doubling the next closest competitor, Trieu with 64. (They are usually #1 and #2 in Moves.) It’s great to see Thien make the Finals because it proves that the postseason roster lock isn't a disadvantage to teams that have achieved regular season success due to lineup churn.

It’s gonna be an uphill battle for High Riser though, as Sour Snails is coming into the matchup as a juggernaut. Coming off three straight division titles, Snails is fielding arguably their best team in that run. After dipping down to a 4-8 record in 2012 — but making the Toilet Bowl Finals and emerging with Lillard — Trieu’s team has gone 48-8-1. That’s right, a 85.7% winning percentage. The downside is that they’ve been upset in the Western Conference Finals in both 2013 and 2014, so this is their year of redemption. After going to back-to-back Finals in 2010-11, this marks Snails’ (new cycle) record breaking third SlamNation Finals appearance.

Snails have their own Super Duper Double Dragon backcourt in Stephen Curry and Russell Westbrook, and overall Snails led the league in PTS, 3PT, and STL; was second in AST and FT%; and was also top six in REB and BLK. That's monster dominance across all categories. Their big mid-season move was to acquire Jimmy Butler, and even though Butler was hurt last week in the easy Conference Finals win over Fat Jubas, it looks like he’ll be back in time for the Finals.

On paper, Sour Snails should win this thing. Based on last week’s stats, High Riser would take the two percentage categories and assists, and then walk home with a loss. But all the NBA championship experience is on Riser’s side, as Dwyane Wade could elevate himself to go head-to-head with Westbrook for a spell, and maybe Lillard, Wall, Evans can slow down Curry, Butler, and Klay Thompson. Then it’s Hassan Whiteside versus DeMaarcus Cousins in the middle, aka the craziest big men in the league.

So here we go with the Brother Bowl, with the biggest prize in SlamNation on the line! Good luck to both Trieu and Thien, and let's get it on!

TOILET BOWL FINALS PREVIEW
#4 Fob Stars (4-14-1) vs #4 Funk Coalition (3-16)
And on the other side, it’s a bit of a Brother Bowl II because while Jon and Jimmy aren’t brothers by blood, they sure argue like real brothers! In fact, it’s kind of the San Diego finals week as all four participants grew up in San Diego, often facing off on the basketball court. (For official “who is the best actual basketball player in real life," consult our comprehensive rankings.) And just like in real life, Jimmy and Jon represent the worst in the league, while Trieu and Thien are flying high above the pack. Sigh.

The good news for J&J is that one of them will get the #1 overall pick -- and the other one can’t do worse than #2, even if they tried. I don’t think we’ve ever actually had the two worst teams in the league both make it to the Toilet Bowl Finals, so it’s an achievement of sorts for Funk and Fob to both upset their way through two rounds of loserville. Fob Stars neatly dispatched Jedi Knights last week 7-2, while Funk Coalition sat all his players on Sunday to steal TOs and a dirty come from behind 5-4 win over NJ All-Stars.

Fob Stars feature the Special-K backcourt of Kemba Walker, Kevin Martin, and Khris Middleton while Funk has the Can’t Shoot trio of Rajon Rondo, Michael Carter-Williams, and an injured Ricky Rubio. A key player for Jon could actually be J.R. Smith, as his 3PT will come in very handy versus a Fob team that isn’t so great at long distance shooting either. The battle in the middle will be interesting though, as DeAndre Jordan, Andre Drummond, and Josh Smith are a tough matchup for Nerlens Noel, Zach Randolph, and Marcin Gortat.

Either way, let’s watch these two perpetually loser franchises battle it out in the Poor Man's Brother Bowl, exciting!

RD2 Previews: 2015

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Sour Snails (17-1-1) vs #3 Fat Jubas (11-6-2)
Trieu’s been here before. Many times in fact. Post-season favorite and then upsetsville. Last year it was to eventual champion Eron, Joven, and Chandler. And this year, the renamed Silent Crows almost did it again, taking Snails down to the wire in round one before falling under a few handful of 3PT. With the defending champs out of the way and last year’s upset avenged, Trieu’s team, who lost just one game all season, will try to barrel their way toward another Finals behind the awesome might of Russell Westbrook, Stephen Curry, Rudy Gay, and um, rookie Rodney Hood? The Sour Snails are a little sore, with DeMarcus Cousins, Klay Thompson, and Jimmy Butler are all ailing, making them slightly vulnerable. The question is, can Fat Jubas take advantage?

With Chris Paul leading the way, Jubas crushed Transformers’ division champ Squirtle Squad by a big margin last week but now face a much tougher challenge. Based on last week’s stats, Jubas would lose to Snails pretty tidily, but that’s why they play the game! Eric’s team is out-talented at nearly position but this former champ won’t be cowed by anyone. Especially with spark plug Isaiah Thomas coming back this week and a rejuvenated Danilo Gallinari. Can CP3 pull his guys through to a major upset? Jubas were on a four game win streak until they ran into Snails in the last week of the regular season. That loss cost them a division title, will they take revenge in the playoffs? We're hoping Steve Nash's retirement announcement will pump up Eric's squad and make this a matchup to remember.

Russell Conference
#1 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (14-5) vs #3 High Riser (13-6-1)
Alvin’s team is having the breakout year he’d long planned for and he even got his first playoff win after five straight years in the losers bracket. Going from the bottom to the top can be a dizzying ride but Pogiboys have the most enviable asset in fantasy, Anthony Davis, plus the core of Mike Conley, Victor Oladipo, rookie triple double man Elfrid Payton, breakout sensation Draymond Green, and shot swatter Gorgui Dieng finally getting real minutes. That’s a lot of great talent. Plus Brook Lopez is averaging 18.4 PTS, 8.6 REB, 2.0 BLK, 53.1 FG% over the past month. Pogiboys is poised for continued success and if they can make the Finals this year, it’ll be a hugely successful accomplishment. (We’ll overlook the terrible fallout from the Wes Matthews and D.J. Augustin trade…)

Of course, standing in Pogiboys' way is Hassan Whiteside and the High Risers. Sure, Whiteside has cooled off significantly since his mid-season out of nowhere explosion, but he’s still been awesome. In last week’s narrow upset of Spade, Whiteside basically almost single-handedly won BLK for High Risers — Whiteside had 14 blocks to 17 total for Spade. With an inside presence, Thien’s guard collection of John Wall, Damian Lillard, a rejuvenated Dwayne Wade, and Tyreke Evans can go to work on the perimeter. It’ll be tough for High Riser to get another upset but if they can come through, a Brother Bowl versus Trieu is in play!


And since I didn't get to do RD1 previews and team recaps, here's a bit about our losers:

Silent Crows (11-8)
After last year’s dream run, 2015 was bound to be a disappointment short of a back-to-back championship. But Lucas’ team had another terrific year despite a bevy of injuries to Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, and semi-newly acquired Derrick Rose. Since taking over as owner, Lucas has put together the best two year stretch in franchise history, plus that gaudy championship run to boot. The Silent Crows are here to stay as true contenders…even though their "crow" logo is an owl. A loss to Sour Snails stung, especially since another big upset was within reach, but Lucas will return next year healthy and ready to pursue that second title.

Squirtle Squad (12-7)
Last week’s joy from another division title quickly turned to dust as Brian’s team got upset by High Riser, despite a few trades at the deadline to prep for a championship run. That’s four straight playoff appearances and three straight first round exits for Squirtles. The only thing for GM Brian to do is keep his promising core moving forward, and getting healthy, and taking solace in the fact that next year should be the long awaited Giannis Antetokounmpo fantasy explosion. It’s hard to argue with Squirtle’s success but the fan base is itching for a deep post-season run.

Spade (12-7)
Two straight twelve win seasons aren’t a bad way to start off an ownership reign. Randall’s team kept this franchise’s run of six consecutive playoff appearances alive but fell a little short of a postseason win. The good news is Spade won a Thundercats division title, the franchise's first since 2011. A healthy season from Eric Bledsoe was offset by injuries to Kawhi Leonard and Kobe Bryant, sapping this team of some depth. Plus, the frontline of Kevin Love and Al Horford saw some regression. We’re looking for a bounceback season from Spade next year, if “bounceback” can be applied to a division champ and top contender.

Chunky Monkeys (10-8-1)
Monkeys got run over by the Pogiboys juggernaut but I’m sure they weren’t too upset about it. After all, Monkeys were probably just happy to be here. After starting off the season 1-3, Evan’s team righted the ship by going 7-0-1 over the second half the season. All this in a year where they were hit hard by injuries to Jrue Holiday, Jabari Parker, and Terrence Jones. At the end of the day, James Harden solidified himself as a fantasy and NBA MVP candidate, Goran Dragic is in a new and much better situation, and Marc Gasol is still the most well-rounded fantasy center around. Oh yeah, there’s also dueling Rookie of the Year’s in Andrew Wiggins and Nikola Mirotic. Jabari who? So a growing year for Evan turned into a double digit win season and their fourth post-season apperance. Hard to complain!

Toilet Bowl: 2015 RD2

Last year, there wasn’t a single upset in the Toilet Bowl as both #1 seeds got to the Toilet Bowl Finals and then that matchup ended up in a virtual tie as Chunky Monkeys took home both picks. This year, in a case of karma, every top seed lost to a lower seed! That means regardless who gets the top picks this year, they’ll likely go to a team that desperately needs the talent infusion. Let’s take a quick look at the remaining Toilet Bowl matchups as well as the teams that lost last week. [2014 TB Preview: Russell | Chamberlain]

Chamberlain Conference
#3 Jedi Knights (5-14) vs #4 Fob Stars (4-14-1)
These two perennial Silverhawks bottom dwellers meet for the second time in the Toilet Bowl, with their last face off in 2013 resulting in a win for Fob Stars. Of course, neither team has ever won the Toilet Bowl, but this seems like a prime year to do it. Both teams are shockingly devoid of superstar talent although Fob's Nerlens Noel is making a late breaking case for R.O.Y. with his recent insane month of 13.0 PTS, 10.8 REB, 2.4 STL, 2.4 BLK, 49.1 FG%. Noel is basically the closest thing to Anthony Davis right now, minus the scoring. Fob also had Kemba Walker with some great games this year, and Marcin Gortat and Zach Randolph continuing to pound foes, but guys like Trey Burke and Ryan Anderson are bubble keepers at best. A roster makeover would be great for this team.

On the flip side, Jedi Knights have already turned over their roster completely this season, as documented by their many many trades. They were rewarded with tying their franchise record for regular season wins, five, and also getting their first “post-season” victory. We’d love to see Lum manage his way to a Toilet Bowl win to reward himself amply for all the big moves he’s made this season. Adding the top rookie to his lineup would surely take the Jedi another big step toward respectability. Luuuuuummmm for the win!

Russell Conference
#3 NJ All-Stars (6-13) vs #4 Funk Coalition (3-16)
What’s it like to commish a league and be the worst team (again)? Let Jon tell you, he knows! This is Funk’s fourth straight year in the Toilet Bowl and they haven’t won it once. Each major rebuild seems to have set the team further and further back and the new core of Rajon Rondo, Michael Carter-Williams, Ricky Rubio, DeAndre Jordan, and Andre Drummond have yet to take the court together once — Josh Smith was Funk’s leader in Games Played, not to mention their second-leading scorer. The good news is 2014 #3 overall draft pick Dante Exum has been a total rookie bust. Oh wait. Basically, Funk needs this Toilet Bowl win, they deserve this Toilet Bowl win…

Since taking over three years ago, Eddie has never missed the playoffs, made one Finals, and guided NJ All-Stars to a 37-13 regular season record. However, this was the year everything fell apart. Paul George, leg destroyed. Lance Stephenson, everything destroyed. Reggie Jackson, value destroyed until his trade to Detroit. Plus, LeBron James took his sweet time getting into top form. Eddie’s team suffered through a 1-9 end of year swoon so their upset victory over Inept Henchmen was a nice surprise. And All-Stars could have enough to take a Toilet Bowl win. Even if they don’t advance any further, there’s still the emergence of Tobias Harris and Jusuf Nurkic to make next year interesting. (Again, we petition Eddie for a rebrand, as “All-Stars” is just not fun! Maybe adopt the "Nets" moniker, or perhaps the "NJ Derrick Colemans?")


TOILET BOWL LOSERS:

Buffy (8-10-1)
As a top seed entering the loser’s bracket, Buffy had to be upset by another loss to Fob Stars in the Toilet Bowl — they are 1-2 in that matchup. It was super close, just a few STL, BLK, TO, PTS away from turning the tide, but Buffy couldn’t quite win out. With Chris Bosh out for the season, it was going to be an uphill battle anyway and Roger did well to patch in the likes of Mo Williams, Evan Turner, a healthy George Hill, and Donatas Motiejunas for the stretch run. Winning a shiny young star would have really helped here, as this aging roster continues to petrify. When does iron man Tim Duncan retire? He still led Buffy in PTS, BLK, GP, and was second in STL and third in AST so Roger had better hope not next year. After back-to-back losing seasons, the contender window may have closed for Buffy, and a major rebuild could soon be around the corner.

Half Man Half ImAsian (6-13)
Oliver’s team lost their matchup to Jedi by a single STL or BLK. There’s no question that a healthy Kevin Durant or Greg Monroe would have won the week, but both were out last week. LaMarcus Aldridge gave it his all this year despite an injured hand, but needless to say, this team can’t win consistently without Durant — even with J.J. Redick doing his best to score everything. Moving forward, the bottom end of the keeper roster is questionable at best with Mario Chalmers and Amir Johnson. How can Half Man upgrade their talent base (their 2013 Toilet Bowl win and then failure of Ben McLemore to emerge really hurt)? Then again, Half Man Half ImAsian was a playoff team just a year ago so this could be just a one season dip caused by a lack of Durant since GM Oliver has proven to be a virtual magician and cannot be doubted to keep his winning ways.

So Buckets (8-10-1)
After two straight Voltron division titles, So Buckets were shoved aside this year as MoRRie’s Pogiboys and High Riser suddenly took center stage. Josh’s team certainly didn’t have a bad season, but they weren’t quite good enough to make it three for three in playoff appearances since taking over the franchise. A first round loss to Funk Coalition probably wasn’t the result Josh wanted, but overall So Buckets had a pretty good year despite injuries to much of the roster (DeMar DeRozan, Nikola Pekovic, Jaared Sullinger). For example, Pau Gasol led the team in GP and re-established his fantasy stardom. Kyrie Irving hasn’t lost much next to LeBron James, and most of all, Rudy Gobert! The tall Frenchie is averaging 10.7 PTS, 14.4 REB, 2.5 BLK, 56.5 FG% over the last month and is only getting better. That’s like winning a top pick right there. Plus, 2016 will mark the debut of Joel Embiid, whom GM Josh brilliantly stashed away during last year’s draft. Buckets may have taken a step back from contention this season, but they’ll likely vault right back next year!

Inept Henchmen (8-11)
Discounting a four game swoon in WK6-9, Henchmen played 0.500 ball most of the year and had a strong second season in SlamNation, improving on their six wins last year. For a franchise that has never finished a regular season with a winning record, and with a high wins mark of only nine, new-ish GM Trevor is already energizing his fan base. The big story for Henchmen was Derrick Favors, acquired mid-season last year and now averaging 18.8 PTS, 8.8 REB, 1.9 BLK, 0.9 STL, 54.0 FG% over his last thirty games. And the other guy from that trade, Jeff Green, was having a career year until getting shipped to Memphis mid-season. The Derrick Rose for Dwight Howard trade from last year around this time turned out to be peachy, even with Dwight dinged up this season. In a twist from that deal, Eric Gordon returned to the fold after getting cut by Funk Coalition, and Gordon has been a nice 3PT complement to Kyle Korver. Trevor is building to respectability behind a strong frontline and with a few more savvy moves, could push right into the playoff picture soon.

Buzzer Beater

Trying to set the record for most in-season trades (fourth one of the year!), Jedi Knights drop another bomb on the league with a late breaking move that entirely remakes his keeper roster from last season. Jimmy Butler, gone. Michael Carter-Williams, gone. DeAndre Jordan, gone. Thaddeus Young, gone. David Lee, gone. And now, Chandler Parsons, gone gone gone!

• ID#51: Jedi Knights trade Chandler Parsons to Squirtle Squad for Bradley Beal and Zach Lavine

Buoyed by the success of his last trade, one that saw Wesley Matthews and D.J. Augustin almost immediately become irrelevant (Sorry Pogiboys...), GM Lum pulled the trigger on a 2-for-1 that brings in the shooter to replace Mathews in Bradley Beal. Beal has had an up-and-down year due to injuries but when he’s right, he’s one of the better shooting guards around. Great move.

Along with that, Lum will get a free look at 2015 Dunk Champion Zach LaVine, who has been pretty good (statistically) playing point guard in place of Ricky Rubio for most of the season. While the rookie LaVine needs to find his place, he could become a keeper for next season.

Correction: Thaddeus Young is still on this team. But we predict he’ll be shipped out soon, if only to rid the Jedi locker room of all traces of its sorry past.

As he heads into the Toilet Bowl, Lum has a lot of interesting pieces already in place for next year. A top pick would really help things out to place a potential superstar on the roster, but for now Lum’s keeper selection could be something like Al Jefferson, Roy Hibbert, Thaddeus Young, Monta Ellis, Bradley Beal, and someone from the Brandon Jennings, Avery Bradley, Zach LaVine, or Deron Williams quartet. What a transformation for Jedi Knights this season, and he has almost single-handedly kept the trade wires hopping! Let that be an inspiration to us all!

As for the other trade that went down at the deadline, Squirtle Squad was involved in that one too. Having captured the Transformers division crown by edging out Silent Crows in WK18, Brian next focused on getting his team into tip top contending shape. Parsons has been heating up since rounding back into form from injury (17.2 PTS, 5.2 REB, 2.5 3PT, 52.9 FG% in his last few weeks) and his outside shooting will help this team spread the floor.

The other move, trading a 2017 RD1 for Dennis Schroder could pay immediate dividends too. German Rondo is averaging 13.3 PTS, 6.4 AST, and 1.2 3PT for the past month, despite coming off the Hawks’ bench. Schroder gives Squirtles a much needed second passer next to Ty Lawson and he’ll enter Coach Brian’s rotation immediately. Plus, Schroder’s upside is abundant and he should make the keeper cut. Existential question: Is German Rondo already better than Original Rondo? Oh no!

• ID#52: Funk Coalition trade Dennis Schröder and 2017 RD6 to Squirtle Squad for 2017 RD1

Playoff & Toilet Bowl Seedings: 2015

PLAYOFFS
  *= division winner
Chamberlain Conference
#1 Sour Snails (17-1-1)*
#2 Squirtle Squad (12-7)*
#3 Fat Jubas (11-6-2)
#4 Silent Crows (11-8)

#1 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (14-5)*
#2 Spade (12-7)*
#3 High Riser (13-5-1)
#4 Chunky Monkeys (10-8-1)

TOILET BOWL
Chamberlain Conference
#1 Buffy (8-10-1)
#2 Half Man Half ImAsian (6-13)
#3 Jedi Knights (5-14)
#4 Fob Stars (4-14-1)

Russell Conference
#1 So Buckets (8-10-1)
#2 Inept Henchmen (8-11)
#3 NJ All-Stars (6-13)
#4 Funk Coalition (3-16)

Tie-Breakers
None! Great job guys! Made my job real easy this year!

Final Standings 2015

Full Season Stats

The Trilogy

Who are you Lum?! With another mega-deal in the books, GM Lum has turned the league upside down with his wheeling and dealing. Let’s take a look at the new new new Jedi Knights.

• ID#48: Jedi Knights trade Wesley Matthews and D.J. Augustin to Pogiboys for Brandon Jennings and Roy Hibbert

All the offense Lum acquired in the two previous deals — Monta Ellis, Wesley Matthews, Al Jefferson — takes a slight turn as Roy Hibbert enters the picture for Jedi. His 11.2 PTS, 7.2 REB, 1.8 BLK are nice, but his real life reputation is probably better than his fantasy one. Still, Hibbert replaces some of DeAndre Jordan’s BLKs and gives another big to slot next to Jefferson and Mason Plumlee.

Taking on Brandon Jennings is a bit of a gamble. His Achilles heel ruptured and that’s probably bad news for a speedy guard. Jennings was spectacular when he played, with 15.4 PTS, 6.6 AST, 1.9 3PT (albeit on 40.1 FG%) but can he return to form next season? At the same time, Jedi Knights didn’t lost much in this deal. D.J. Agustin, Jennings’ replacement in Detroit is gonna have a huge second half, but Lum isn’t worried about this season anyway. Plus, Agustin was this season's lone free agent pickup for Jedi so far. Moving Wesley Matthews for two potential keeper pieces can be seen as an upgrade.

If you’re keeping track at home, including the earlier season deal with Sour Snails, Lum turned Jimmy Butler and David Lee into Monta Ellis, Brandon Jennings, and Roy Hibbert. Time will tell if that upgraded the team’s talent overall.

As for Pogiboys, this was a perfectly timed deal as they are cashing in on Jennings while he’s on the injured list. Augustin will directly replace him in real life and in fantasy (and maybe even outdo him, as he’s averaging 18.3 PTS, 9.0 REB, 1.6 3PT in his last seven games), and adding a gunner like Wes Matthews gives the second-to-last 3PT ranked Pogiboys a shot at being competitive in that category.

GM Alvin knew that he was already way far ahead in BLK — Pogiboys literally have 125% more BLK than the second place team — so losing Hibbert won’t be a big deal. And they’ve got Gorgui Dieng waiting in the wings anyway. In fact, Pogiboys has a ton of young talent sitting in the stables, and they probably have some more moves ahead of them as they try to consolidate keeper talent and prepare for their first playoff run!

Mid-Season Report: Thundercats

What was once a powerful division has crumbled as only one team sits with a winning record and the worst team in the league resides in Thundercats. Ouch. [2015 Pre-Season | 2014 Early Season]

Team Spade (9-6)
After assembling a juggernaut in the dispersal draft, Randall saw his powerful team fall to Earth due to numerous injuries. Still, Spade’s first year in SlamNation was an unqualified success as they got a playoff appearance, and a semi-upset win, under their belts. This year, Spade started off 5-1 before going 4-5 in recent weeks, but they'll likely still win the division and face off against one of the strong Voltron teams. A 2015 draft heavy on veterans reflected Randall’s championship aspirations. The return on that draft, fifteen weeks in, is David West and Paul Pierce, as guys like Ersan Ilyasova, J.R. Smith, Anderson Varejao, and Nene Hilario are all gone, after logging about 25+ combined games for Spade.

Injuries have again been an issue this season as Kawhi Leonard has only recently returned, Kobe Bryant is gone for months again, and Al Horford was slow the start the season. Also, franchise cornerstone Kevin Love has been good, but his 42.7 FG% and non-All Star status must hurt. But let’s not weep for Spade as they still have one of the best and most balanced rosters. Horford and Millsap are a wonderful tandem, Eric Bledsoe has adjusted to life with Isaiah Thomas, and Pierce plus Wilson Chandler is just right on the wing. There’s still enough here to contend, as this team has no true weaknesses and is also ranked tops in REB, third in PTS, and fourth in STL. Let’s see what Spade can do in the playoffs for their sophomore season!

Chunky Monkeys (6-8-1)
This is kind of a weird team. Despite a team of mostly gunners, Monkeys rank first in FG% (not to mention third in FT%). Much of that can be attributed to Marc Gasol and Goran Dragic’s high volume shooting combined with ultra-high efficiency. Plus, MVP candidate James Harden is throwing up 27.5 PTS on 18.3 shots and 45.5 FG%. This team is also pretty good at AST/STL, which is expected for a guard heavy team. But then they are near the bottom of the league in 3PT, and near the top in BLK. Very strange!

We can’t continue without shining the light on the #1 and #2 overall picks, Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker. Wiggins is already on the cusp of stardom and while Parker is out for the year, he showed enough in his twenty five appearances. The two of them will team up with Harden, Gasol, the wonderful Jeff Teague, and either Dragic or Jrue Holiday to form a core that could soon bring Monkeys back to their winning days. In fact, maybe they’re already on their way now. After coming out of the gates with three losses, Evan’s team has managed three straight wins. They are also in the playoff race, as a non-winning record could still get them into the post-season. They have huge weaknesses in 3PT and REB, but after the greatest draft positions ever, we don’t expect Chunky Monkeys to be down for long.

NJ All-Stars (5-10)
Our division winners the past two seasons has seen their season collapse into a disorientating mess. Eddie has never faced this sort of adversity before. Can he stay mentally strong? The thing is, NJ All-Stars is still sort of the in the playoff picture. Sure, they’re on a six game losing streak, but LeBron James is back! And if All-Stars can hit the playoffs, could Paul George return also?... This team is last in FG%, turns the ball over a lot, and can’t really rebound. The good news is their motion offense generates a lot of assists and open looks, but you know, that bad shooting isn’t translating to lots of points.

Kyle Lowry has been a stud this year, but Reggie Jackson and Lance Stephenson have lost some of their shine. Both are still doing some versatile things, but their FG% is awful. And Joakim Noah — the answer that wasn’t the answer last post-season — has had trouble with his health and staying in the lineup. The good news is that GM Eddie 2015 RD1 pick, Tobias Harris, has been awesome, with 17.4 PTS, 6.6 REB, 1.1 3PT, 1.0 STL, and 46.5 FG%. He has really helped fill the void left behind by George. However, this season seems like a lost one All-Stars, and they might be better off rallying for the Toilet Bowl and securing a top pick.

Funk Coalition (2-13)
Well, here we go, officially the worst team in the league. Funk started off with six losses, notched two wins, and then slumped to a still ongoing seven game losing streak. They’ve won one category on three separate occasions, likely turnovers. Overall, Funk are pretty terrible at FG%, league worst in PTS, FT% and 3PT, and about league average in AST and STL. They are great at REB and BLK but that just leads to lots of blowout losses and moral victories. The big mid-season trade away of Al Jefferson and Derrick Rose have been a wash so far, as Funk awaits Ricky Rubio’s return to full form. What is owner Jon doing?! Answer: Nobody knows.

On paper, the trio of Rubio, Rondo, and Michael Carter-Williams should throw up an array of counting stats while nuking the percentages and TOs. And the Andre Drummond plus DeAndre Jordan frontline should be enough to provide plenty of everything while also nuking percentages and TOs. However, real life NBA trades have sapped Rondo’s AST numbers and then there’s Josh Smith, who has only found his footing post-Dwight’s injury. Adding insult to injury, sixth keeper Eric Gordon, who was cut earlier this season, is now fantasy relevant again. The most consistent, and only bright spot on this team has been DeMarre Carroll... And let’s not even talk about the 2015 rookies, Dante Exum and Marcus Smart, who have both been erratic to say the least. What’s next for Funk? Another rebuild?!

Mid-Season Report: Silverhawks

There's no doubting who's on top of this division, the ever powerful Sour Snails! At least this year he's got some competition with Fat Jubas a mere five games behind. Oh what are we saying, "Silverhawks" might as well become "Silversnails" until someone can add balance to this division. [2015 Pre-Season | 2014 Early Season]

Sour Snails (12-1-1)
Last season the Snails went 17-2, entered the playoffs on a fifteen game winning streak, and was upended in the Chamberlain Conference Finals by eventual champ Eron, Joven, and Chandler. That's the Snails' story...they keep throttling opponents during the regular season but collapsing in the playoffs. This season, they are ranked first in PTS, 3PT, and STL, second in AST and FG%, and even a frightening fifth in BLKs. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for weaknesses. So far these Snails are on a ten game non-losing streak, and if not for a tie with So Buckets last week, that would be a double digit win streak. The scary part is that this roster might be getting better. Their early season trade of Monta Ellis and 2015 RD1 Wesley Matthews netted them new All-Star Jimmy Butler (20.5 PTS, 5.0 REB, 3.2 AST, 1.8 STL, 1.0 3PT) and the recently returned from injury David Lee. Butler and Ellis may be putting up similar numbers, but there’s no question Butler’s star is quickly ascending.

And speaking of breakouts, Klay Thompson was clearly the right keeper — over Trevor Ariza and Tyreke Evans, both moved for pre-draft picks — and has turned into a true nine category player. Along with his outrageous shooting, Klay is averaging almost a block per game! The four All-Star backcourt featuring Stephen Curry, Russell Westbrook, Thompson, and Butler also have Rudy Gay on the wing plus DeMarcus Cousins in the middle. While GM Trieu was looking for a traditional big man to pair with Cousins — Taj Gibson has been hampered by injury — it looks like he’s found his answer by going with free agent find Robert Covington at the power forward spot. Covington fits right into the rest of this lineup, stretching the floor with his 2.3 3PT per game. Is this the season Trieu finally wins that elusive second championship? We’ll find out soon enough!

Fat Jubas (7-5-2)
It looked like Eric’s team was gelling nicely as Jubas came out of the gates 3-0-1, but then they hit a 1-3 patch and have been a little erratic since. For a team that has played about 0.500 ball over the past two seasons though, this mid-season record is an improvement. And after last season’s Toilet Bowl appearance — Jubas went to the Toilet Bowl Finals, albeit with their pick destined for Chunky Monkeys in the Chris Paul trade — they should be able to get into the playoffs pretty easily this year. The trio of Suns on this team, Markieff Morris, Isaiah Thomas, and Alex Len are probably better in real life than fantasy right now, although Morris’ center eligibility makes him a neat piece to have. Gordon Hayward is having a far better year percentage-wise than last season, and has ascended to near All-Star levels. The disappointment here has been Nicolas Batum, who is averaging a paltry 9.0 PTS on 38.0 FG%. His all around numbers are still decent, but Batum needs to step it up or he might be moved.

The return of Danilo Gallinari gives this team their (questionable) sixth keeper back, and he’ll be needed for a bit of offense as this team is a little low on PTS. Gallo won’t help Jubas’ paltry REB but he is perfectly suited to build on the team’s fourth in 3PT and first in FT% strengths. The Jubas are still in rebuilding mode a bit, but CP3 wants to win now and it’ll be interesting to see what GM Eric can do to put some more pieces around him. Can a lot of useful but ultimately second tier guys have a sneaky post-season run in them? Or is this team still looking for another superstar to slot alongside Chris Paul? We hear rumblings that just such a superstar may be on the trade block...

Jedi Knights (4-10)
Oh Jedis! With two blockbuster trades already under their belts, Lum’s team has certainly shaken things up this season. While we love the big moves, we would love to see more than one free agent add — for D.J. Augustin, admittedly a great FA grab post-Brandon Jennings. GM Lum is still ranked last in “moves” and we think he can show Jedi fans that his re-dedication to their team will come with lots of panning for gold on the waiver wire. Let’s talk about the team Lum has rebuilt so far though. What has dramatically changed about Jedis from last season is the sudden influx of outside shooting in the form of Wesley Matthews (3.1 3PT), Chandler Parsons (2.1 3PT), 2015 RD2 pick Arron Afflalo (1.6 3PT), Avery Bradley (1.5 3PT), and even Monta "He Got It All" Ellis (1.1 3PT).

The mega trades seem to have worked out pretty well so far for Jedi too. Sure, losing their only rim protector in DeAndre Jordan hurt, but this team was ranked last in REB/BLK anyway. Al Jefferson has been slow to get healthy but it looks like he’s fully back now. And the Monta for Jimmy Butler move didn’t hurt this team statistically, as Ellis has actually been better across almost all categories. Not having Michael Carter-Williams’ smorgasbord of numbers is offset by also offloading MCW's horrendous percentages. 2014 RD1 pick Deron Williams started the season off hot but has cooled off dramatically, making the case that maybe a rookie could have been drafted in his place. Then again, this year’s rookie crop has been horrific fantasy-wise. So what now for Jedi? They have four wins already, after totaling five last year, and they are strong in FG% and TO. They’re still a long shot for the playoffs but at least they have been active, which is half the battle. Let’s see if these Knights can take the fight to more teams this season as they slowly construct a winning foundation.

Fob Stars (3-10-1)
Well, this is not good. After going 17-20 in the past two seasons, it looks like Jimmy’s squad has fallen off a cliff. We thought the revamped keeper core would bring Fob Stars into the post-season but instead they’ve regressed in nearly every category. This team can’t shoot, can’t score, can’t rebound, are dead last in assists, and can’t really play any defense either. Hey, at least they’re leading the league in (lowest) turnovers! Let’s start with some good news to offset the eventual bad. Kemba Walker was having a lights out season earlier, before his meniscus ripped. Um, right, bad news. Well, Kevin Martin is back and ready to be moved off the IR list?

Okay, it’s pretty much all sad news for this squad, who may be in desperate need of a makeover. The trade that moved Joakim Noah for Nerlens Noel and Ryan Anderson is still under evaluation. Noel has been outsanding with 2.3 BLK and 1.8 STL but his PTS and REB have been much lower than anticipated. Anderson is still scoring and bombing away from three point land, but his days as a strong REB might be over. And Fob Stars have been injury plagued, with Marcin Gortat, Anderson, and Evan Fournier leading them in GP. That's not good. Overall, we’d love to some moves here, as Zach Randolph (17.2 PTS, 12.1 REB, 50.3 FG%) and the sneaky decent Khris Middleton (11.0 PTS, 1.5 STL/1.3 3PT) could be useful on a contender. Also, with Trey Burke’s current hot streak, maybe now is the time to move his 37.2 FG%? After starting off with seven straight losses, Fob Stars has gone 3-3-1 recently, indicating that the worst is likely over. A roster of pieces now needs a steady hand to shape them into playoff contenders...after one more trip to the Toilet Bowl.

Mid-Season Report: Transformers

Once the most balanced division in the league, Transformers will have to hang its hat on the fact that the recent champs hail from this division. Can someone else steal Silent Crows' crown? [2015 Pre-Season | 2014 Early Season]

Silent Crows (9-4)
Our defending champs underwent a name change but that’s probably just to sell more jerseys. This iteration of Lucas’ team is likely even better than last year. We already said that we loved their 2015 draft and that’s born itself out as vets like Joe Johnson and Tyson Chandler (12.0 REB, 1.4 BLK) have been exactly what this team needed. And with Danny Green and Patrick Beverley hammering in 2.4 3PT each and contributing in all the other categories, this team goes ten deep. At least. The only dark cloud on the horizon is Carmelo Anthony’s impending shut down. It’s rumored that after the All-Star Game in New York, Melo will be put out to pasture for the rest of the season. While Anthony’s had a bit of a down year, he’s still this team’s leading scorer and nominal leader.

Sure, Blake Griffin, Dirk Nowitzki, and all the other offensive powerhouses on this team can step in, for this squad but can a Melo-less team really repeat? Swapping Ricky Rubio for Derrick Rose could help pick up some of the offensive slack, as Rubio hasn’t played since early this season while Rose is at 18.9 PTS, 5.3 AST, 1.9 3PT over the past thirty days. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about here, as Crows are ranked second in PTS, REB, 3PT, while no real weaknesses save STL. Lucas’s team has a good a shot as any to repeat, and it looks like they are getting stronger after a 4-3 start.

Squirtle Squad (8-5)
After a draft spent on all youngsters, it looked like Brian’s team was going to take a little step back. Clearly that’s not the case as Squirtle Squad was leading this division until last week’s WK13 loss to Silent Crows. This well coached team just knows how to win, even as they don’t rank top three in any category. With no weaknesses though, they are, as always a regular season force. Having Ty Lawson (17.1 PTS, 10.0 AST) and Nikola Vucevic (19.5 PTS, 11.2 REB, 53.6 FG%) back and fully healthy has been nice. The Serge Ibaka, Jordan Hill, and Channing Frye combo also complement Vucevic well. Plus, first round pick Darren Collison has been much better than expected as the Kings new point guard.

Bigger things were probably hoped for from Giannis Antetokounmpo, (recently injured) Kelly Olynyk, and Bradley Beal, but all three are getting there — especially Beal. These three won’t have anyone pushing them for playing time, that's for sure, as the young draftees of 2015 haven’t brought back much return yet. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and Zach LaVine are still around but Noah Vonleh, Otto Porter Jr., and Jusuf Nurkic are long gone, with Shabazz Muhammad waiver wire picked up and IR stashed. Still Squirtles is a deep team that is balanced and executes nightly. Can Brian take them deep into the post-season now they’ve basically secured a playoff spot? Let's find out!

LA Buffy (5-7-1)
Well, the on-again and off-again nature of Buffy’s seasons will probably end right here. It looks like Roger’s team is headed toward two losing seasons in a row, for the first time ever, and even if they come out 0.500 or above, a playoff spot is likely out of reach. After coming out of the gates 3-1, Buffy has gone into a complete tailspin with two wins and one tie in their last nine games. It may be time for that long anticipated rebuild. This core has surprised many by staying relevant over they years but it’s really starting to look like the days of a super powerful front line rampaging opponents is coming to a close.

We would love to see Tim Duncan and his 14.8 PTS, 10.0 REB, 2.0 BLK shipped off somewhere useful. Or how about Carlos Boozer and his, well, okay nobody needs Boozer. Still, this team has many useful bits that could be transformative for a contender. Chris Bosh is having a hell of a season with 21.2 PTS, 7.6 REB, 1.4 3PT and even he could be moved. The youngest, most exciting piece on this roster is um, Tristan Thompson? Lakers’ third stringer Jeremy Lin? (Right now, Gerald Green leads this team in games played...) We’re curious where GM Roger will take this team, as he’s facing the first true rebuild of his reign. We all know Buffy has always had strong management, but it could be a multi-year challenge to restock the larder and get back into championship contention.

Half Man Half ImAsian (5-8)
We knew that without Kevin Durant, Oliver’s team would have a rough start of the season. A 0-4 start confirmed that, even as Durant returned early. However, even with Mr. MVP back in the fold, Half Man Half ImAsian suffered another four game losing streak WK7-10. But there’s a chance they could be on the rise, with three straight wins in recent weeks. The LaMarcus Aldridge injury put a scare into this team but it looks like Aldridge is going to continue playing through his injury. That means the two leading scorers for this team are still intact and a new star has risen next to them…Greg Monroe! Monroe has put up 15.6 PTS and 12.2 REB on 49.2 FG%. He still can’t protect the rim but who cares, this team isn’t that interested in defense anyway!

Monroe’s emergence post-Josh Smith has been very necessary as the rest of this roster has underperformed. Amir Johnson was a keeper, he of the 9.8 PTS and 5.8 REB. Mario Chalmers has still been swiping balls but 10.7 PTS  and 0.8 3PT aren’t gonna cut it. At least sixth keeper J.J. Redick has been nailing 2.5 3PT a game, along with 14.9 PTS. And only Terrence Ross remains from a 2015 draft class that have all been cut already, replaced with utility guys like Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Zaza Paculia, and Jared Dudley. After last season’s eleven win campaign, we don’t think Half Man is gonna make it into the playoffs so they should gear up for a strong Toilet Bowl showing that can bring in another star to slot alongside KD and Aldridge. We’d love to see what this team can do with a bit more quality depth and pizzaz.

Mid-Season Report: Voltron

And here with the mid-season reviews. It’s already twelve, almost thirteen weeks in, and the NBA has been on full tilt with storylines everywhere and surprises, disappointments, trades, and injuries galore. Let’s take a look at where SlamNation stands, starting with the Voltron division! [2015 Pre-Season Voltron | 2014 Early Season]

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-2)
Last year at this time Alvin’s team stood at 4-8, headed toward yet another Toilet Bowl. Now Alvin sits atop the Russell Conference by a wide margin and has basically the best fantasy player on the planet, Anthony Davis, anchoring his team. Oh yeah, did we mention GM Alvin hit on quite a few upside picks in the draft too? His first four draft picks this year: Elfrid Payton, Draymond Green, Gorgui Dieng, and Alec Burks. Payton can’t shoot but he’s easily going to be one of the top rookies for the 2014-15 NBA draft class. And well, Draymond is the new darling of the NBA, and his stat sheet stuffing stats are pretty incredible -- this is one Spartan alum Alvin hasn't had a problem rooting for. And Dieng is already almost a double double guy and it looks like his minutes will only increase. Alvin is doing a better job putting pieces around The Brow than the Pelicans are!

Oh yeah, Davis is averaging 24.2 PTS, 10.4 REB, 2.9 BLK, 1.5 STL, 55.7 FG% and 82.2 FT%. Geezes. Would you take him over Kevin Durant or LeBron? Of course right? And also, Pogiboys already have Mike Conley, Brandon Jennings, Victor Oladipo, Roy Hibbert, and Brook Lopez as keepers entering the season. This is the year Pogiboys (finally) hit the post-season, and they could make some major noise there -- right before 2016 when they’ll have quite a few roster decisions on the horizon. Get ready SlamNation, the Pogiboys are (finally) coming!

High Riser (9-2-1)
Nipping on Pogiboys’ heels for the Voltron crown is John Wall and Damian Lillard, both of whom are looking for post-season success in the NBA as well as in SlamNation. Thien’s team went to the playoffs last year, as usual, but were bounced early, as usual. High Riser has always had regular season success under any name — they’ve won seven of their last eight matchups — but their high flying offensive style hasn’t helped them to many post-season wins. This team is fun to watch though, ranking first in AST, second in STL, third in 3PT, and fourth in PTS. The offseason saw Thien bring in Trevor Ariza and Tyreke Evans for draft picks, and both have helped round out the starting lineup.

It’s a shame first round pick Julius Randle won’t play this season, but free agent surprise Hassan Whiteside has taken the opportunity to earn a starting nod alongside Omer Asik and Steven Adams. The four guard rotation of Lillard, Wall, Brandon Knight (18.1 PTS, 5.1 AST, 4.2 REB, 1.6 STL, 1.9 3PT), and Dwayne Wade are one of the best in the league, and they’ll continue to power High Riser to almost contention. What's the next step though, how can this team make a final move for the ring? Is the answer Dion Waiters?!

So Buckets (6-6)
After ruling the Voltron den for a number of seasons, Josh’s team is in danger of dropping out of the playoffs. Then again, the non-Spade teams in the other Russell Conference division are pretty pathetic so Voltron could easily send three representatives to the post-season. However, Buckets has to contend with the sudden rise of Pogiboys, as well as the steady winning ways of High Riser. All that and this season has been tough on the injury front. The rejuvenated Pau Gasol is leading this team in games played, as virtually everyone else has hit the shelf, including long stints outs for DeMar DeRozan and Nikola Pekovic. And then there’s the M.I.A. Larry Sanders, who is in danger of washing/weeding out of the NBA. Still, Coach Josh has steadied this team after a 3-5 start, and being at 0.500 mid-season can be called a success.

There’s good news too, as the aforementoned Gasol is throwing up mid-2000's Pau numbers of 18.4 PTS, 11.6 REB, and 2.1 BLK. And Kyrie Irving is still a fantasy star, even if he’s not exactly meshing with his new Cavaliers teammates. Third round pick Rudy Gobert has earned the nickname “The French Rejection” and he’s more than capable of helping this team remain ranked third in BLKs post-Sanders. Plus, young keepers Jared Sullinger and Ben McLemore are still growing and overall this team is trending upwards. With an anticipated healthier second half of the season, So Buckets will focus on entering the post-season and setting their sights on upsetting one of the top seeds -- instead of the other way around. Note: First rounder Joel Embiid is still tucked away on this roster, waiting for the 2016 season...

Inept Henchmen (4-8)
So, how’s Trevor’s second season in SlamNation going? Last year’s team had only six wins total so this year’s four victories are a baby step up even after their 3-2 start crumbled to six losses in their last seven games. The defensive anchors for Henchmen, Dwight Howard and Andrew Bogut, have been in and out of the lineup, making it tough to establish an inside presence. Before his injury though, Dwight was putting up monster games, making last year’s trade of Derrick Rose look brilliant. And it’s not really the frontcourt that this team is lacking in, as they have Howard, Bogut, Derrick Favors, and Kenneth Faried pogo-sticking around. Plus, Jeff Green has shown that he can still put up points in his new Memphis home.

That backcourt though, filled with an old man crew of Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, Greivis Vasquez, and Jose Calderon. That’s not great. Sixth round pick Tony Wroten had been averaging 16.9 PTS, 5.2 AST, 1.6 STL, 1.2 3PT before his ACL tear, but now he’s out for the season. Rookies Nik Stauskas and TJ Warren were drafted with high hopes but both were cut long ago. Some fresh blood is needed here, and Kyle Korver is an intriguing trade chip. Surely some contender could use a rocket launcher who drops in 3.0 3PT at a 51.6 FG% clip? We like the direction GM Trevor has taken this team, and a few more steps upwards would make this a successful second year of rebuilding.

Another Funk Rebuild

It’s only been a couple of months since Funk Coalition’s latest rebuild. If you’re counting, that’s three major rebuilds in about three seasons, starting with the pre-draft acquisition of Rajon Rondo in 2012. Apparently, building a winning team around Rondo is difficult. Very difficult.

With their lone 2015 win coming against fellow undefeated Fob Stars, GM Jon saw the need to reshape their roster yet again. High draft picks Dante Exum and Marcus Smart had yet to see much return and a roster full of guards weren’t able to rank well in any of the traditional guard categories. In fact, Funk’s team is last or near last in FT%, 3PT, and PTS. So, with a pair of trades, Jon went all in on guards who can’t shoot, while trading away all of his top scorers and essentially punting PTS. Will it work? Hard to say, but this roster suddenly got a lot more cohesive in its flaws.

• ID#47: Funk Coalition trade Al Jefferson, Amare Stoudemire, 2016 RD2 to Jedi Knights for Michael Carter-Williams and DeAndre Jordan
• ID#48: Funk Coalition trade Derrick Rose to Silent Crows for Ricky Rubio

With the additions of Michael Carter-Williams and Ricky Rubio, Funk should now have the AST and STL to surround Rondo in the backcourt. None of the three guards can shoot for percentage or range, but that’s alright I guess. Who needs to space the floor anyway!? Also, all three possess awful FT% for professional basketball players, highlighted by Rondo’s 31.6 FT% this season. What Rondo, MCW, and Rubio can do is post near triple doubles, providing Funk with a plethora of AST/REB/STL.

The new-look frontcourt will now feature the twin defensive towers of Andre Drummond and DeAndre Jordan, who's averaging 9.5 PTS, 13.4 REB, 2.4 BLK, 1.0 STL, and 70.7 FG%. They’re essentially the same player, with high FG%, awful FT%, outstanding REB/BLK, and quick hands for bigs. Also, neither can be expected to average more than about ten points per game, especially with Drummond slumping in an expected breakout year. Josh Smith is still the third big here, and he has brought awful percentages but a nice smattering of REB, AST, and a combined 3.0 STL/BLK. Basically, Funk has decided to torpedo every category they were bad at and double down on all the counting stats.

It’s hard to say if this strategy is better than the last (failing) one, but Funk now has the a team that sort of makes sense on paper. Also, let’s not overlook the snazzy pickup of Dennis Schroder, aka the German Rondo. Since this SlamNation trade last week, Rondo has found himself moved to the Mavericks, which means that the heart and soul of Funk isn’t even a Celtic anymore. Argggh!

Note: At the end of the day, Funk moved Dwight Howard, Tony Parker, a 2015 RD2 (Jose Calderon) for Ricky Rubio and Marcus Smart. Worth it? Considering Dwight is having a great year and the still perfect piece alongside Rondo and this team build? Also, Funk says good bye to Al, again!

For Jedi Knights, this was their second big trade in a season that has seen them step up their activity. (Although, they still rank last in “moves,” and haven’t made any FA pickups yet.) Losing last year’s Rookie of the Year will be tough, but MCW’s awful FG% was weighing this team down. The top two Jedi picks from the 2013 draft, Carter-Williams and Jimmy Butler, are now both gone.

Al Jefferson has been slow to become the 20-10 machine he’s always been, but his sterling percentages and offensive output fits in very nicely with Jedi's recent focus on increased offense. Losing DeAndre Jordan’s defensive stats hurt, but this team wasn’t beating anyone on the boards or protecting the rim anyway.

And Amare Stoudemire returns to the fold, two years after being acquired for a number of picks — the result was Stoudemire for 2013 Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and 2014 John Henson. Jefferson, Stoudemire, and a suddenly enticing Mason Plumlee will anchor the new look frontline while balancing out Deron Williams, Monta Ellis, and the wing combo of Chandler Parsons, Wes Matthews, and Arron Afflalo. There’s still a lot of work to be done to make the 2-8 Jedi Knights competitive, but at least the effort is showing. Now to work that free agent wire Lum!

Defending champ Silent Crows hit a quick “yes” to the Rose for Rubio swap, exchanging a still injured Rubio for Rose’s offensive output. Rose has been in and out of the lineup but two months into the season, he’s getting steadier and steadier, averaging 19.4 PTS, 5.0 AST, 1.5 3PT, on 45.7 FG%. If Rose continues his successful comeback from injury, Lucas could have just added another piece to his title defense while jettisoning an equally risky injured player in Rubio.

Currently the Crows are 5-3 and ranked second in FG%, REB, and PTS, with their only bad category being STLs. They are well positioned to be a top team again, even as Carmelo Anthony and Blake Griffin have yet to hit their full stride. Silent Crow's 2015 draft yielded key rotation pieces in Joe Johnson, Patrick Beverly, Tyson Chandler, Danny Green, and even free agent pickup Marreese Speights. That's preeeeetty impressive.

Let the mega-trade season begin! Who's next?

The Force Awakens

After vowing to better manage his team this season, Lum has made good on his promise, throwing his team into 2015's first blockbuster. With a roster full of interesting parts, it was high time GM Lum started to shape his pieces into a cohesive unit. Toward that end, Lum moved rising star Jimmy Butler and the still injured David Lee to Sour Snails in exchange for Monta Ellis and Wesley Matthews. That immediately upgrades the offense, as Ellis and Matthews combine to average 37.3 PTS. The new backcourt will give this second-to-last ranked offense an infusion, and give greatly improve their 3PT shooting to the tune of 3.9 3PT per game.

The new look Jedi will have a bounce back Deron Williams, a returned from injury Michael Carter-Williams, plus Ellis and Mathews on board. Not to mention there’s Arron Afflalo and Chandler Parsons for the swing positions. The frontcourt seems to be a bit soft with Thaddeus Young playing power forward next to DeAndre Jordan, but it’s not like David Lee was providing anything this season. We like the new run-and-gun Jedi, and well, let’s see if they can pick up a few extra wins this year!

As for Sour Snails, this is their third move of the season, after shipping off extra keepers Tyreke Evans and Trevor Ariza for draft picks — both of whom are having excellent seasons. We already knew that this backcourt was crowded with talent, and consolidating Ellis and Matthews into an up and coming All-Star like Jimmy Butler is exactly the type of move Trieu has consistently executed. Butler has taken over the main offensive duties in Chicago and is averaging 21.0 PTS, 5.7 REB, 1.5 STL, and 48.7 FG% in a long awaited breakout year. He’s not a 3PT threat, but the top ranked Snails hardly need anything in that category. And when David Lee comes back, he’ll add additional scoring, and most importantly, rebounding to help out DeMarcus Cousins. Lee should be an upgrade, or at least a nice complement, to Taj Gibson and Ed Davis. All in all, a trade that looks like a winner for both sides!

• ID#47: Jedi Knights trade Jimmy Butler and David Lee to Fob Stars for Monta Ellis and Wesley Matthews.

Russell Conference: Voltron Division

For most of the past five seasons, Voltron has sent only one representative to the playoffs. Last season was the first time they had to double digit winners, as both So Buckets and Super Ninja (now Fighting Dragons) made it to the post-season. This year, Voltron will be out to close the gap between them and fellow Russell Conference division mates, the ultra-competitive Thundercats. [2014 Preview]

#4: MoRRie’s Pogiboys (6-13, 8-10-1)
Three franchises have yet to sniff the playoffs. Unfortunately, Pogiboys is one of them. After two years of stellar drafts, netting Anthony Davis and Victor Oladipo, this team should be finally able to climb out of the gutter. Right? On the surface, Pogiboys looks like a perfectly balanced team with three nice guards (Oladipo, Mike Conley, Brandon Jennings) to pair with three good big men (Davis, Roy Hibbert, Brook Lopez). The problem is, injuries tend to strike this team hard. Last year it was Davis and Lopez, and Hibbert might as well have been injured. This year it’s already Oladipo with at least one month out. It’s been a very slow rebuild for Pogiboy and the fan base is starting to get restless...

Coming on board this season? More youth! With the sixth overall pick, Alvin opted for Elfrid Payton’s Basquiat-like locks. Payton is being touted as a R.O.Y. candidate and here’s hoping he lives up to that promise. Third rounder Gorgui Dieng is looking like a potential beast, and he should slot right in among the other bigs on this roster. Alec Burks will have another year of experience under his belt and Draymond Green can contribute in many categories, given the playing time. Rookie fifth rounder James Ennis is a long shot but Pogiboys clearly is into upside potential. Note: Last seaon’s pre-draft trade of Brook Lopez turned out to cost 2014 Patrick Beverly and 2015 D.J. Augustin, not bad? Here’s hoping Pogiboys gets a full season of health on their way to a competitive season!

#5: Inept Henchmen (6-12-1)
Last year’s first three dispersal draft picks, Derrick Rose, Dirk Nowitzki, and Eric Gordon are already gone. Traded for essentially Dwight Howard, Tony Parker, Jeff Green, and Derrick Favors. Not a bad haul for a player that didn’t play all season, an injury prone shooter, and a slowly declining superstar in Dallas. Those four new faces will have Kenneth Faried and Andrew Bogut alongside them as they push to make Henchmen a team to fear in a soft division. Previous ownership blitzed toward a title in 2011 under the “Human Amoebas” moniker, but it’s been loss after loss since then. New owner Trevor has already equaled the win totals from 2012-13 with his six win 2014 debut season.

The new look Henchmen are decidedly front court heavy, with Howard, Bogut, Favors, and Faried. Thus they used the draft to scoop up Jose Calderon, Kyle Korver, rookie Nik Stauskas, and Rodney Stuckey, who could lead Indiana in scoring this year by default. (The trade for Dwight Howard meant that Inept moved their 2015 RD1, which turned out to be Marcus Smart.) Everyone is high on scorer T.J. Warren, even if it takes him awhile to get healthy and minutes. Last rounder Tony Wroten actually could start because he’ll have plenty of shots and opportunity in Philadelphia as they purse another tanking season. Overall, this team is looking much better after one year of new ownership than at any point before, and fans are excited that the team now seems to have a direction and a vision. And again, best logo in the game!

#10: Fighting Dragons (10-8-1, 9-9-1)
On paper, Fighting Dragons has had a lot of success. Two division titles, three playoff appearances, no losing seasons, and even a Toilet Bowl win in 2010. But somehow it all means that they’ve been mostly slightly above middle of the pack. At no point have they been true championship contenders, as they’ve never even been to the Conference Finals. Good but not great, is that enough? One thing for sure, GM Thien has been very active in looking for solutions, and his coaching has driven his team to many victories that maybe they wouldn’t have had on talent alone. Now, with his two point guard attack, John Wall and mid-season trade acquisition Damian Lillard, full engaged and ready for a full season together, Fighting Dragons might better be called “Double Dragons.”

Wall and Lillard both had outstanding seasons last year. And Brandon Knight was quietly superb last year too. Old man Dwayne Wade will be counted on for a lot, but he’s only playing 70% of the Heat’s games now, and it’s clear that he’s no longer this team’s go-to guy. After a few draft day trades, Thien emerged with Trevor Ariza and Tyreke Evans as keepers, which represent an upgrade over likely keepers Robin Lopez and Khris Middleton. The Dragons haven’t drafted high in quite some time, so they must be ecstatic to have Julius Randle drop to them at #12 overall. Besides being a Laker, Randle will likely be able to contribute immediately as he’s said to be one of the most NBA ready prospects from this draft class. New center Steven Adams will take over Kendrick Perkins’ starting gig in OKC, while Omer Asik will contribute stiff interior defense. It’s a shame Nick Young will be out for a few weeks because this team could use some more outside shooting. There was talk that Evan Turner could start at point guard this season, but instead he’ll probably serve as an intriguing boom/bust type from the bench. Fighting Dragons are likely always going to be a threat for a division title, but they’ll need to step up their game one notch to finally be contenders.

#12: So Buckets (11-8, 10-9)
Despite an injury plagued season, So Buckets fought back from a rough early season to capture their second straight division title. We asked the question if Buckets were true championship contenders last year, and while they were upset in the playoffs, they are clearly trending upwards while continually gathering new talent. Andre Iguodala, Evan Turner, and Moe Harkless have been replaced by NBA All-Star DeMar DeRozan, Nikola Pekovic, and Jared “Kevin Love-lite” Sullinger. Kyrie Irving is still the franchise here, and while his scoring may take a dip, his FG% and AST will certainly go up with his new glamour teammates. Pau Gasol is in nice new red digs, and there’s no way Larry Sanders plays as poorly as he did last year. So yeah, this team is looking young while at the same time experienced.

And how about Josh's draft? We love the grab for Joel Embiid at the bottom of round one. Embiid represents potential star quality that wouldn’t normally be available so far down. Even if he doesn’t hit the court until next year, Embiid is a value pick worth of stashing. And second rounder Josh McRoberts is going to get every shot he can chuck out in Miami. After that, the bench gets a little iffier. Iguodala makes a return, and if expectations for a non-scorer are in line, he’s still a useable piece. Rudy Gobert is a mystery but maybe he could put some nice BLK numbers up. And here’s value if you like it: Ben McLemore, last year’s #1 overall SlamNation pick, scooped up in the fifth round. And as an unabashed Iman Shumpert believer, I can safely say that he’ll tease and then be hurt very soon. So Buckets is looking to make the leap to championship status, and if a few things break right, this could be the year they finally do it.