Weekly: Fantastic Four

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Last time we looked at our three bottom dwellers. So this time let’s flip it around and look at our top teams after six weeks, three of which are from the Chamberlain Conference. Let's step it up Russell!

SBUK So Buckets (6-0)
After a tough season last year, So Buckets are here to claim contender status once again. Raise your hand if you thought rookie RJ Barrett would be this good? With 15.4 PTS, 5.5 REB, 3.3 AST, plus 1.4 STL and a three, Barrett is producing quite well, albeit with a shocking 52.4 FT% — yes, that’s free throws.

Throw in the free agent pickups of rookie Eric "new Warriors leading scorer" Paschall and Dillon Brooks and that’s two more pieces added to an already formidable squad. I guess winning the Toilet Bowl really can jump you right back to the top eh? This team is loaded and even with Kyrie Irving in and out of the lineup, they should be able to fight for a division title and a deep playoff run.

SBUK has been riding its second ranked defense to the top — Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert now have Thomas Bryant next to them — while pairing it with a league average offense and some not-so-great efficiency. While So Buckets sit atop the standings, they are only fourth in net ODE rating. Not that it matters because wins are wins!

The only caveat to SBUK’s early success is that they’ve only picked up two wins over 0.500+ teams — and one of those was a shortened WK1 matchup versus Spade. Still, this is great bounce back season for Josh and we’re happy to see him on top!

SPDE Spade (5-1)
After that first week loss to So Buckets in WK1, Spade has ripped off five wins in a row, including a tight 5-4 win last week against Squirtle Squad — taking the win by one BLK or six AST. On the season, SPDE is measuring out as the top rated ODE team, with a third-best offense paired with top four defense and efficiency. The only weakness they’ve exhibited so far is a lack of STL, but with Kawhi Leonard back in action, even that slight issue could be resolved.

Is Spade the best team in SlamNation? Well, we’ll find out when they get hit with their usual spate of injuries. For now, Brook Lopez is a little dinged up, Kawhi is always on load management, and Derrick Favors remains on the bench. Also, RIP 3.11 pick Zach Collins, who is basically out for the season after dislocating his shoulder.

Still, Devin Booker and Kevin Love are back, Al Horford and Jeff Teague are still doing their thing, and OG Anunoby is in the midst of a breakout season — 2.1 combined STL/BLK with 1.7 3PT. SPDE goes twelve deep when healthy and all it’ll take is Randall’s prayers to keep them upright and headed toward another Finals appearance.

SQSQ Squirtle Squad (5-1)
Proving that last year’s twelve wins were no mirage, Squirtle Squad and possible back-to-back NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo are proving to always be formidable, ripping off five wins to start the season until they dropped a nail biter to Spade in WK6.

We want to talk about Squirtle’s breakout player of the year: Bam… Haha, just kidding. While the trade for Bam Adebayo and the just returning Blake Griffin has been stellar — Adebayo has been basically Giannis-lite minus the scoring and threes — the real star of the early season has been sophomore Devonte’ Graham, who has seized the point guard role in Charlotte and is putting up 18.2 PTS, 7.4 AST, and 3.4 3PT per game. Dejounte who?! (Yes, Dejounte Murray is back from injury and he’s been okay…) While Graham isn’t a youngster — he’s twenty-four already — getting him for $0 FAAB is the kind of move that could make a good team into a great team.

And while GM Brian lost faith in Moritz Wagner rather quickly, he’s now back on the squad and doing some breaking out of his own. And now Carmelo Anthony and Blake are here! Phew, are we gushing? This team is well balanced too, with a top five offense and a top three defense. The only worry is a horrible efficiency, mostly due to a wretched showing in FT%, which can’t be helped since Giannis is shooting 58.6 FT% on eleven attempts a game. Even Lou Williams and Blake’s fine free throw shooting can’t offset Giannis and Bam’s poor form there. But who cares!

SQSQ is ranked first in AST, second in REB, and has top five showings in PTS, STL, FG%. (BLK and 3PT could use some juicing up maybe.) We’ll see what Squirtle Squad is capable of as they have a matchup with undefeated So Buckets this week, and the winner will ascend to first in the Chamberlain Conference, if not the entire league.

FOBS Fob Stars (5-1)
Our lone team from the Russell Conference to make an appearance, FOB toppled Funk Coalition last week to end an undefeated November. They’ve picked up 5-4 wins every week, and their lone loss has been to Swamp Dragons. With a cupcake schedule coming up, Fob Stars could very well be on a seven game winning streak before they face off against SQSQ in a big WK10 matchup around Christmas. This seems like the year Jimmy finally is breaking through and it’s a welcome sight to behold for Fob fans around the world.

Damian Lillard has been spectacular as usual and he’s gotten extra offensive help from new acquisitions Bojan Bogdanovic, Jabari Parker (stepping in for the injured John Collins), and the previously mocked Jordan Clarkson (sorry!). Rookie Rui Hachimura is a double-double threat too, as he’s averaging 13.3 PTS and 5.6 REB on stellar percentages.

Most of all, pretty Ricky Rubio has fully returned to his pre-Utah days with 7.8 AST and 1.2 STL, while adding 1.3 3PT to boot. The two headed center mashup of Jarrett Allen and DeAndre Jordan seem to be working out as well, even if they can’t quite pick up FOB’s league worst BLK numbers.

So what is the top end for FOB? Well, their ODE rating is a second in efficiency, tenth in offense, and thirteen on defense. That’s mostly middling actually. But while Fob Stars aren’t great in most categories — outside of TOs — this has been a well coached team that makes few mistakes and is capable of toppling anyone in their way.

Weekly: Winless Teams

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Let’s get an early look at our three winless teams. Is hope on the horizon or should these three prepare themselves for a Toilet Bowl run already? Interestingly, three of the five top rookies went to these franchises, so we’ll tackle them in that order.

SNAC Snack Bears (0-3)
After a busy preseason flurry of trades and the drafting of uber-rookie Zion Williamson, we thought Snack Bears was headed for a title run. Instead, Williamson has yet to see the court and SNAC is floundering, losing to FUNK, CHMK, and CMTO in successive weeks. What in the world is going on?!

Even without Zion, this should still be a powerhouse team. But De’Aaron Fox, Bradley Beal, Josh Richardson, Nikola Vucevic, and Kristaps Porzingis have all started the season off ice cold, with none of them shooting better than 43% from the field. That has just crushed Snack and ownership seems ready to hit the panic button.

While Shai Gilgeous-Alexander has emerged as an offensive bright spot, the rest of the keeper core here has been underwhelming -- especially when other traded off pieces such as Bam Adebayo and Jaylen Brown have been outstanding. Even with draftees Will Barton and Cody Zeller throwing up incredible PTS/REB numbers, this team just can’t seem to get it going.

Snack are ranked top five in PTS, 3PT, AST, REB, and BLK but awful in FG% and not great in STL. Of course, those are the two exact areas a healthy Zion would help immediately. With a net offensive rating of third, and a defensive rating of sixth, all SNAC needs is for that second-to-last efficiency to perk up. The question is: can they do it without Zion? Or will big moves be coming soon?

ABCX Another Bad Creation (0-3)
We declared that there was a rebuild ahead for ABC and so far we’ve seen nothing on this young season that might say otherwise. They have the lowest combined ODE rating at 14 / 16 / 11 and rank in the bottom two in 3PT, REB, and BLK. But hey, their two percentage categories aren’t too bad! ABC has also been unfortunate to face off against two 3-0 teams in recent weeks, and we’ll see if they can beat fellow winless team Buffy in WK4’s matchup.

The good news is that 2020 RD1.2 Ja Morant has been as good as advertised, with 17.8 PTS, 5.2 AST, and 46.2 FG%. The lack of many threes isn’t a huge factor as projections had Morant as a non-deep threat anyway. And while Russell Westbrook may have lost his triple-doubleness upon his move to Houston, his improved FG% actually makes him a much better fantasy player and his overall numbers are still stellar.

ABC actually could be competitive, as they have a decent bunch of veterans behind those two in LaMarcus Aldridge, Evan Fournier, TJ Warren, and even an Isaiah Thomas sighting. With Derrick Rose and Enes Kanter on the mend — although Eric Gordon is out for six weeks — that’s not terrible right? We foresee a win coming for Another Bad Creation soon and with a bit of health, they could have a path out of the cellar.

BUFF Buffy (0-3)
Roger’s team has faced a similarly tough schedule, with opening losses to undefeated Squirtles and So Buckets out of the gate. A third loss to top ODE ranked Spade could point to just a vicious first month of games for Buffy. One of ABC or BUFF will emerge with a win this week, and after that it’ll be off to the races to see who can rack up win number two.

GM Roger scooped up rookies De’Andre Hunter and Cam Reddish during the draft but his best move so far was grabbing another rookie, Kendrick Nunn, off the free agent pile. The Miami scoring dynamo is already in the Rookie of the Year conversation and is putting up 16.9 PTS, 2.3 3PT, and 1.6 STL per game. Nunn has made the slow starts by Hunter and Reddish irrelevant.

On top of Nunn's success, Malcom Brogdon, Domantas Sabonis, and Brandon Ingram are all off to career years, with each averaging absurd numbers that look pretty sustainable! Add in a sprinkle of Dwight Howard magic and Buffy fans have a lot to cheer for, even with new franchise cornerstone Ben Simmons struggling early with injury.

The ODE ratings for Buffy agree that they should be much better, as their combined net rating is fifth overall, with a fourth rated efficiency backed by a seventh rated defense and eleventh rated offense. Buffy is tremendous in FT%, STL, TO, and is now no longer an offense-first team. The return of Kyle Kuzma will be a welcome boon to their shooting woes and astonishingly, Brogdon, Sabonis, and Paul Millsap mitigate Ben Simmons’ awful FT% with their high attempts and incredible percentages. If Buffy can add a splash of 3PT and BLK, it looks like they could be one of the more competitive teams around!

2020 Conference: Chamberlain

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We have new franchise ID numbers and franchise abbreviations so we're gonna use them for our post-draft and preseason previews. Yes I know WK1 just ended but we're running a little behind here at SlamNation headquarters okay!? Thanks for your patience and a great year to all [ 2019 Chamberlain | 2020 Russell ]

TeamID - Abbrev - Name (2019 Record, 2018 Record)

9 SQSQ Squirtle Squad (12-6-2, 9-10-2)
It had been three long years out of the playoffs for Squirtles but they have steadily gotten better each year after a disastrous three-win 2016 season. After racking up twelve wins — while leading Chamberlain Conference for much of the season — and an upset first round win versus Funk Coalition, the time is now for NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo to challenge for a ring and GM / top five coach Brian knows it.

Antetokounmpo is an incredible piece to build around and he’ll have some new keeper teammates this year. A pre-draft trade moved out Nikola Vucevic after seven years of service and brought in Blake Griffin and Bam Adebayo to replace him. Griffin will make up for Vucevic’s offense while Adebayo will cover for his defense — and faces a breakout year in Miami. The return from injury of Dejounte Murray and Lonzo Ball will boost the backcourt while last year’s mid-season trade acquisition, Tobias Harris, should get an even bigger role in Philadelphia.

It seems like Squirtles will continue their offense first philosophy as they drafted Lou Williams (RD1.11) and Terrence Ross (RD2.5) early on. Both are instant offense from the bench and there’s actually nobody else on the roster save for IR stashes Jusuf Nurkic and John Wall. While we are completely out on Wall, having Nurkic in their back pocket for a postseason run could help Squirtles go up another level this season. And with their fifth, and final, pick of the 2020 draft, Brian took Michigan man Moritz Wagner, who has had a surprising preseason so far.  It’s been a long road back for this Squad back to contention but with Giannis around, it’s great to see them here!

10 ABCX Another Bad Creation (4-16, 15-5-1)
Ouch, after three straight division titles, Another Bad Creation had an awful 2019, putting up their worst regular season wins record ever. What happened? We don’t really know actually. I mean, it wasn’t like Oliver wasn’t coaching hard and trying to turn the season around, but maybe it was just of a talent? The highlights of the shoddy 2019 was a still inspiring Toilet Bowl run — upsetting two top seeds and almost getting to the TB Finals — that left them with the second overall pick in 2020.

That’ll be a great help to a keeper core that is, well, like the worst in the league. Russell Westbrook has even lost his alpha dog status, as he heads to Houston this season. Behind him is old man LaMarcus Aldridge, Derrick Rose, and young bucks like Enes Kanter, Evan Fournier, and TJ Warren. Maybe GM Oliver should have moved pre-keepers for some younger talent? We’ll see though, as this team has historically been good so it’s not up to us to question ABC’s vision.

Let’s talk about that 2020 RD1.2, which was used to select Ja Morant. Morant projects to be almost Westbrook-like, so this is an interesting destination for him. If he gets handed the keys to Memphis right away as expected, ABC will have two talents at the point guard position. It seems like Oliver is loath to overall the roster toward youth but invested instead in guys like Dario Saric and Alex Len, who have some promise. However, the other draft picks were Eric Gordon, Rajon Rondo, and Wes Matthews, who could be value picks for winning, but also lack upside. We’re curious how much ABC can improve this season, or if they’ll look to take the Westbrook-Morant pairing for another shot at a high lottery pick. We want this successful franchise back and competing for the top prize soon, even if it means a slower rebuild is in order.

11 Buffy (8-11-1, 3-16-2)
Another team on the rebuild, but swinging upwards. Buffy emerged from their franchise low point — three wins in 2018 — to notch eight wins last season, and flash a free flowing offensive game that held promise for the future. It’s been six long seasons out of the playoffs for Buffy and they haven’t had a winning record since 2013.

Pre-draft, GM Roger made a bold move to acquire Ben Simmons — costing them last year’s RD1.4, Trae Young — and now Simmons will be the centerpiece of a team that could use a multi-talent like him. Brandon Ingram has been erratically healthy over his young career but seems positioned to do well in New Orleans, and the situations for Domantas Sabonis, Kyle Kuzma, and Malcolm Brogdon all improved over the offseason. If only Klay Thompson were healthy, but Buffy will have to wait for his return.

After years of going veteran heavy, Buffy brought in two more rookies this year, Hawks teammates RD1.5 DeAndre Hunter and RD4.11 Cam Reddish. If either of them makes it to keeper value, that would be a big boon for this team. Hunter especially is intriguing as his defensive prowess is sorely needed on this all-offense team. It was a return to the old guys for the rest of Roger’s draft though, as Paul Millsap, Harrison Barnes, Dwight Howard, and Nicolas Batum join up to flesh out the rotation. With a pretty deep team, Roger will work his way toward more victories this season, and we can see them even going back-to-back for most Games Played in 2020 as well. C’mon Buffy, it’s been a long time out of the light, let Simmons bring you back!

12 SOUR Sour Snails (14-5-1, 10-11)
Our many time defending champs were on the ropes just two years ago but after one of the best drafts and free agent pickups in recent history — hello Pascal Siakam and Mitchell Robinson — Sour Snails is entirely back. Sheesh. After five straight Finals appearances, and four out of five titles, Snails are the dynasty that looks reloaded and ready for another set of titles. Not like they ever left of course...

At least Kevin Durant and DeMarcus Cousins are both out for the season — with Cousins being dumped as a potential keeper. It’ll be Steph Curry’s task to carry Sour to their title defense but he’ll have a lot of help. Zach LaVine is a scoring machine, Pascal Siakam is going to be even better sans-Kawhi, and GM Trieu even added Terry Rozier via a pre-draft trade that gives them another twenty point scorer. Even with Durant on the mend, this keeper core is as strong as anyone else’s.

Plus all those extra picks! Snails dealt up to secure two RD1s, spending them on Steven Adams and Landry Shamet. Adams gives them everything they need alongside Robinson and Shamet will be joined by rookie Tyler Herro and Glenn Robinson III as upside shooters. Fellow rookie PJ Washington may need time to develop but preseason find Marquese Chriss may find himself starting in Golden State. Oh and there’s obligatory Laker Alex Caruso, who doesn’t look half bad himself! We know the Snails will go all-in for another title so this is far from the final roster, but if this draft turns out anything like the last one, we may have to all just pray for more injuries to stop Snails!

13 SBUK So Buckets (10-9-1, 14-6-1)
After coming off their best regular season ever, and a Voltron division title two years ago, So Buckets saw themselves swapped from Russell to Chamberlain Conference. It looked like a golden opportunity to ascend to a higher plane as they became a top dog in their new home. Instead, Buckets took a step back last year yet still managed to pull it together to win the 2019 Toilet Bowl. Unfortunately new rules prevented So Buckets from adding the top overall pick — aka Zion Williamson — to an already loaded roster, but Buckets still earned a top-three pick for some tough work though the loser’s tournament as its top seed, fending off a fearsome upset bid by Another Bad Creation.

Kyrie Irving and DeMar DeRozan are heading into their ninth and eighth season with Buckets, with Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert starting their sixth. Adding CJ McCollum via trade in 2017 solidified the fast five even more, paving the way for the past few seasons of Buckets stability. However, finding that last keeper has always been a bit tricky. In the past, Dario Saric and Jabari Parker didn’t quite work out and this year’s entry, Thomas Bryant looks good but could be jettisoned at the end of the season. However, that’s likely because So Buckets will add a promising rookie to this core, and not through any fault of Bryant’s, who’s on the verge of a breakout himself.

RJ Barrett was the consensus RD1.3 selection and he should bring in points and some assists right away. Adding a top flight selection to an already great keeper core is a recipe for a fast turnaround — just ask Swamp Dragons — and So Buckets should enter the 2020 title picture immediately. With that in mind, GM Josh went with Serge Ibaka and Goran Dragic in the draft as win-now veterans before trading a RD4 and RD5 for RD3.13 Delon Wright and his defensive upside. Josh Okogie will join this team as a sophomore with potential upside too. There should be zero chance these Buckets hit the Toilet Bowl again and we should look for them to be a true contender again.

14 SPDE Spade (12-7-1, 2-19)
Spade is used to being one of the most consistent teams around, posting at least twelve wins in each of their first four seasons in SlamNation. However, after a league low two wins in 2018, we weren’t sure if that would signal a wave of change for the most steady keeper cores around. Well, after another twelve win bounce-back season in 2019, it’s safe to say that Spade will be staying the course as a paper contender whose upside depends entirely on health. They were dangerous last season, as they proved by entering the playoffs as a #6 seed and then knocking out defending champs Chunky Monkeys. If they want to return to a Finals — something they did in 2016 — they’ll have to keep their fingers crossed.

We didn’t think it was possible for Spade’s keepers to get more injury prone, but by adding Danilo Gallinari — while jettisoning Paul Millsap — it’s likely none of their main six guys more than seventy games this season. Of course, when this lineup is even mostly intact, they are a well-balanced powerhouse. New champ Kawhi Leonard is basking in his title glow. Eric Bledsoe is um, already hurt. Kevin Love is healthy for now, as is Devin Booker, and Al Horford will Al Horford.

Last year’s early FA pickup of Brook Lopez really helped this team and Splash Mountain will return as Spade's first round pick. He will be joined by Jeff Teague and JJ Redick as fellow vets who produce and can be counted on to perform when the inevitable injuries hit this roster. Knowing that his team is getting longer in the tooth minute by minute, GM Randall invested mid-round picks in Zach Collins and OG Anunoby, and will hope one of them hits as solid contributors with potential keeper upside. RD6 pick Ish Smith could have a starting job in Washington so that’s a value buy. Barring more catastrophic injury, we can’t see Spade being anything other than a playoff team once again.

15 ILCN IL Conceived (7-13, 8-12-1)
In just two years, IL Conceived has built up an intriguing young core that boasts some massive upside and talent. Back-to-back stellar drafts have landed them superior talent. Heck, last year’s top three picks were Luka Doncic, Jaren Jackson Jr., and Miles Bridges (although not kept)! After some wheeling and dealing to get into position for another deep run in the Toilet Bowl last season, ILCN didn’t quite earn a top pick but still gave it a good shot and finished with RD1.4 in hand.

The question now is if Doncic and Donovan Mitchell are ready to take the next step. Aside from the young trio of Doncic, Mitchell, and Jackson, semi-new hands Caris LeVert and Montrezl Harrell will be on-board to shore up the depth in the keeper core. Draymond Green will have to have a huge year, as he’s the anchor of this team on defense and in the locker room.

While there’s a chance IL Conceived is ready to compete now, their draft certainly was aimed toward unearthing more talent. RD1.4 Darius Garland was the choice over Coby White — hopefully not a mistake! — and then fellow rookies Kevin Porter Jr. and Goga Bitadze were taken in the later rounds. Taurean Prince should get a head start on his free agency in Brooklyn, and an in-draft trade of Reggie Jackson for Markelle Fultz lands Frank with the mystery of mysteries. If Garland and Fultz flounder, Dennis Schroeder will have to pick up the slack here. Other than that, ILCN seems to be ready to challenge for a playoff spot this season after acquiring pieces the past two. Is it time for Luka and his boys to rack up some wins?!

16 HSTL Hilt the Stilt (6-14, 9-11-1)
We’re gonna give Hilt the Stilt a wash on last season. In his first season, Coach Dave racked up a ton of missed weeks and a very low number of Games Played, but yet still somehow emerged with six wins. That speaks to the talent on the team, as Hilt emerged from the dispersal draft with a nice core of youth and production. The offseason saw a bit of a shakeup, as a pre-draft trade shipped out Jason Richardson for Wendell Carter Jr. and Jaylen Brown. Interestingly, Terry Rozier wasn’t kept, even though HSTL had trouble finding a starting point guard all season last year -- he was moved for a 2020 RD4. Still, this team will return Victor Oladipo (eventually) and has the front court of Andre Drummond and Aaron Gordon to build around. Defensive stopper Mikal Bridges was the sixth keeper.

With a renewed emphasis on the season, there’s a chance Dave could pilot his team to the playoffs if he can get his Games Played under control. RD1.7 rookie Coby White seems to be better than advertised, and there’s still the upside of Anfernee Simons, Kevin Knox, Malik Monk, and rookie Bol Bol to explore. Jerami Grant has a new home in Denver but he fits right into this defensively talent team. For now, DJ Augustin will man the point as White grows into his new role in the NBA. Can we expect Stilt to make an improvement this season? It would be hard not to, as they made zero transactional moves last year en route to a not too shabby handful of wins. Here’s to a successful year two in SlamNation for Dave!

2020 Conference: Russell

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Here with part two of our 2020 preseason and post-draft review. Don't forget about our new franchise ID numbers, which is how we ordered this preview. Enjoy! [ 2020 Russell | 2020 Chamberlain ]

TeamID - Abbrev - Name (2019 Record, 2018 Record)

1 FJUB Fat Jubas (12-8, 12-9)
Since we restarted SlamNation for the new cycle, Jubas have only missed one playoffs, and have dipped below 0.500 just once. Coming off their fifth straight playoff appearance, these one-time champs will be looking for a way to take themselves to another title. Only one teams stands in their way, a team that has knocked the out of the playoffs in four of the last five seasons. Unfortunately, that roadblock is Sour Snails, the defending and seemingly always champs.

Led by Chris Paul and Jrue Holiday, Jubas took a defense focused approach last season and were top-three ranked there all season. They’ll lose some of the defensive focus with the loss of Serge Ibaka and Jerami Grant but Robert Covington should be healthy again, and so will Gary Harris. Myles Turner and Jonas Valanciunas form a huge frontcourt and clearly GM Eric knows how to put the pieces together to keep winning.

The draft brought in old favorite Joe Ingles (1.14) and the quite productive Jeremy Lamb (2.7), who should continue being sneaky good in Indiana. Finals hero Fred VanVleet joins Jubas, as well as Justise Winslow — which made many owners exclaim about his availability in RD4 — and Kelly Olynyk as a stretch option. Plus the last round pick of Danny Green, who could return sneaky value. There were rumblings of a Chris Paul trade for Jubas but so far no action yet, so for now, they’ll work their way to their usual playoff showing and look to take their team deeper into the playoffs. Maybe someone else can knock off Sour for them!

2 CHMK Chunky Monkeys (14-5-1, 20-1)
After notching their first title in 2018, Monkeys were ready for a sturdy title defense but were knocked out in the first round of the playoffs — by Spade — and then failed to win even one of their consolation games, giving them no wins in the postseason. After a 2017-18 stretch where they lost only two regular season games, Chunky went down five times last year, which portended their fate. Heading into 2020, they’ll be looking for their sixth straight playoff appearance, but at this point, with LeBron James aboard, it’s all about the rings.

LBJ is thirty-five, Kyle Lowry thirty-three, and James Harden thirty. Is this the last swing for this version of a contender? While Clint Capela and Otto Porter are right in their primes, a pre-draft trade shipped out Kelly Oubre Jr., who showed flashes late last season of being a breakout. Instead, sophomore Collin Sexton will get another chance to impress. That’s still a fearsome core and all GM Evan needs to do is to color in around the edges.

The draft brought in Marcus Smart in the first round, who was “the best player available” according to inside sources, and then dual Warriors’ big men Kevon Looney and Willie Cauley-Stein in the second and third. It was clear that shooting was a priority as Bogdan Bogdanovic, Davis Bertans (via a trade with Buffy), and Norman Powell were added to the bench for depth. While there is a definite lack of rim protection on the roster, it may not matter if James plays 70+ games and Harden continues his MVP-level ways.

3 FUNK Funk Coalition (13-7, 13-7-1)
After dual thirteen win seasons, Funk Coalition is officially out of the SlamNation cellar after notching back-to-back playoff appearances. However, being a #4 seed didn’t translate to playoff success as they were knocked out in the first round by Squirtle Squad. Are these Funks for real or just pretenders?

As always, GM Jon was on the move, and had already racked up two trades before heading into the 2020 draft — acquiring Kevin Huerter for a RD4 and then swapping Ben Simmons for Trae Young. Two trade-downs and a Markelle Fultz switch later, Funk Coalition had totaled five trades by the end of the draft. (Knocking off Evan, Josh, and Frank from his “to trade with” list, leaving Dave, Felipe, and Randall.) Will any of those moves bring Funk closer to a title? The new keeper core of Karl-Anthony Towns, Young, Jayson Tatum, Gordon Hayward, Jonathan Isaac, and Huerter can now all shoot threes but will Funk miss Simmons’ triple-doubles? Time will tell.

With the two trade-downs, Funk essentially moved Steven Adams for Spencer Dinwiddie and Nickeil Alexander-Walker, and then Delon Wright for Reggie Jackson and Matisse Thybulle. Add in Ty Jerome as Funk's last pick and that’s three rookies on the roster for a team that should be looking to win now. What gives? Flexible center Dewayne Dedmon was also brought in, along with Larry Nance Jr. to bolster the frontcourt in what is now a very guard-centric team. Funk is used to change and with a new point guard onboard, could achieve even greater heights and a few playoff wins.

4 FOBS Fob Stars (11-8-1, 10-10-1)
It’s been quite a successful run for Fob lately, as they’ve escalated from nine to eleven wins over the past four seasons, and racked up an equal amount of playoff appearances as well. They’ve also managed to pull off first round upsets in both of the last two years, and are now looking to rise above their so-so smedium challenger status. A step up would mean just a few more wins and that is definitely within reach.

Of course, to do that, an upgrade in the keeper core could be in order. DeAndre Jordan must have quite the friendship with Jimmy — or access to a future superstar — for him to have been kept again. And even Jordan Clarkson himself was surprised to be selected as a keeper. The good news is that last season’s pre-draft acquisition, Damian Lillard, is likely the second best point guard in the league and a true franchise cornerstone. Neither John Collins nor Jamal Murray exploded last season as expected but they both are still super young. And well, Ricky Rubio should return to his proper AST ways down in Phoenix, after coming for a World Cup MVP showing.

With three picks in the top twenty for the 2020 draft, GM Jimmy had to bring in some younger faces. Rookie Rui Hachimura (1.12) has been promising and will get tons of playing time while Jarrett Allen (2.2) will have to halt his upside potential as he splits time with Jordan in Brooklyn. Both could/should be keepers next year. Bojan Bogdanovic will be the wing scorer this team hasn’t had since trading Tobias Harris away while Dwight Powell and Rodions Kurucs should serve as floor spacing big men. We’re predicting Grayson Allen gets cut fast, as his terrible attitude will have him out of the locker room quickly. Overall, Fob Stars have proven that they belong, now let’s see how far they can reach.

5 TRUO Truo Thien (9-11, 13-7-1)
After five straight years in the playoffs, and never getting a losing record, Team Thien finally suffered a sub-0.500 campaign. it seems like this team is at a crossroads. Do they push to contend again or do they take a step back? The answer is: never surrender! Even though Thien’s team has some veterans like Mike Conley, Kemba Walker, and Jimmy Butler as their stars, each of those three are in their primes still, more or less. Combine that with Lauri Markkanen, the fantasy stud that is Julius Randle (acquired via preseason trade with ILCN), and um, Andrew Wiggins, and TRUO has enough firepower to get at least to 0.500, if not better.

Add in GM Thien’s decision to bypass a rookie at RD1.6 and take sophomore Miles Bridges instead — who’s looking pretty good! — and it’s clear that management is looking for a quick recovery form last year’s nine win team. The draft was entirely all veterans too, which Derrick Favors, PJ Tucker, and JaVale McGee coming in the middle rounds. The only concession to the future was Mo Bamba in the last round, who might have an interesting future, but won’t likely get major minutes this year. Or possibly next. For Thien to guide his team back into the light, they’ll have to make some power moves. But we believe because this is a team that has been to two Finals in its last two seasons and also captured two division titles along the way.

6 SWMP Swamp Dragons (15-3-2, 12-7-2)
Our 2019 Finals runner-up went from the Toilet Bowl to best regular season record in the league in just one short year. Of course, Swamp was never a bad team, as they had two straight Toilet Bowl titles while notching winning records — and was the use case for our “Swamp Rule” — but after the flame out that was Markelle Fultz, adding DeAndre Ayton powered them to their third Finals showing, although they have yet to get a ring. Still, after four seasons out of the playoffs, it’s safe to say that Swamp is back as a contender.

The addition of D’Angelo Russell last year solidified the point guard position and now Swamp’s core features Russell at the point, Paul George and Khris Middleton as do everything wings, and the pairing of Nikola Jokic and Ayton. It’s pretty frightening when PG13 is a team’s second best player, even if he’ll be on the mend to start the season. The loss of Jusuf Nurkic to a nasty injury hurt the keeper selection but adding Kelly Oubre Jr. for a RD3 will give Eddie another wing to throw out there.

Swamp is both quite young and ready to win now, but GM Eddie leaned more into youth with his draft. RD1.9 brought in Summer League MVP Brandon Clarke and then the solid young vet guard duo of Derrick White and Tomas Satoransky. Both could likely start and provide nice numbers. Robert Williams III is a BLK monster and that could help on a Swamp team that needs a little bit of extra rim protection. Late rounds Derrick Jones Jr. and Jakob Poetl aren’t sexy names but both could have their uses. It’ll really come down to how soon George can return from his injuries, and if Swamp can then take the final step toward a championship win.

7 SNAC Snack Bears (5-15, 6-15)
It’s been a dark three years since Snack’s inaugural season on Slam. After going to the playoffs during their first year in 2016, the Snacks have suffered fifteen losses in each of their successive campaigns since. Well, all that losing is likely over as savvy moves, patience, and a strong Toilet Bowl run last year have made them an insta-contender. And by “contender” we may even mean “favorite.” Just look at this team!

After a sterling dispersal draft to start last season, Snack went super young with their 2019 selections and unearthed rookies Wendell Carter Jr. (RD1.6) and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (2.4), along with up-and-comer Bam Adebayo (4.14). Those moves allowed them to pull off two two-for-ones pre-draft as GM Brandon moved out Blake Griffin and Adebayo for Nikola Vucevic, and then followed up with a Carter and Jaylen Brown exchanged for Josh Richardson. The new look Snack Bears entered the draft like this: De’Aaron Fox, Bradley Beal, Gilgeous-Alexander, Vucevic, Kristaps Porzingis, and Richardson. That’s pretty impressive...

But then we add in 2020 number one overall Zion Williamson — the reward for getting to the Toilet Bowl finals — and the projections start bugging out. Who is going to stop this monster?!? With the fans clamoring for another playoff appearance, Snack focused on veterans to fill out their roster. Sharpshooter Joe Harris, post-championship Marc Gasol, recovering Will Barton, defensive minded Patrick Beverly, and Hornet’s only big man Cody Zeller will all fill important roles for Snack. We could see another Toilet Bowl to Finals journey from a team this season, just like Swamp did last year. And barring health, it’s possible Snack could take it all the way! Edit: Zion is out a few weeks already, ouch. Hit pause on that championship parade maybe.

8 CMTO Cameltoe (3-17, 5-15-1)
After taking a tank year -- and getting the worst front office grade in 2019 -- Cameltoe is now back to playing and hopefully ready to rise up in the standings from last place. I mean, after declining win totals in each of their three seasons in SlamNation — seven to five to three — it’s the Cameltoe fans who are getting restless.

GM Felipe went heavy on youth last year and will return sophomores Marvin Bagley III and Michael Porter Jr. as keepers. Buddy Hield’s new contract, Hassan Whiteside’s new home, and Josh Jackson’s new reclamation project will join Bagley and Porter around Anthony Davis, the best fantasy player in the game. But also a bit of a curse perhaps, as AD has not led his SlamNation team to much success during his time. Perhaps a change of scenery in Los Angeles will do him good.

With RD1.8, Cameltoe selected rookie Jarrett Culver, who is already looking like a solid player for Minnesota. Dennis Smith Jr. gets another shot here, and then there’s light upside guys like Tim Hardaway Jr., Cedi Osman, and Kris Dunn joining the ranks of Camel this season. The only non-young guy Felipe drafted was Rudy Gay in the mid round, and he’ll add the only veteran voice in the locker room. Here’s hoping that this is the beginning of Cameltoe’s rebuild as they re-focus themselves on some winning ways!

Keepers: 2020

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Pre-Draft Trades 2020

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Last year we saw three pre-draft trades go down before the draft, highlighted by a Damian Lillard for Kemba Walker and Tobias Harris swap. Well, this time we had a dazzling seven trades go off before the draft even started! Needless to say, all that action made this commissioner a very happy man. For the record I think we could have had even more action!


Trade ID#101:
• FUNK receive Trae Young
• BUFF receive Ben Simmons

The biggest names were switched with ID#101, featuring the swap of two young points guards. Ben Simmons has been on Funk Coalition since being draft first overall in 2017. After a redshirt rookie season, Simmons' nightly triple-double threat — 16.9 PTS, 8.8 REB, 7.7 AST — got him to the NBA All-Star game in his third year. Throw in 1.4 STL and 0.8 BLK, plus 56.3 FG%, and he has served as an off-kilter building block for Funk over the past two seasons. Alas, Simmons also suffered from legendary setbacks, like his entire lack of outside shooting. His fit with 2016 first overall pick Karl-Anthony Towns was deemed to be not so great and he was moved out of town.

Last year we rated Buffy with the worst keeper core around, headlined by a lack of a "gold" player, aka a superstar. Well, drafting Trae Young at RD1.4 — after DeAndre Ayton, Luka Doncic, and Jaren Jackson Jr. — seemed to help cure that. After an icy start, Young proved himself to be quite the passing and shooting machine, with 8.1 AST and 1.9 3PT, along with 19.1 PTS. While the FG% and defensive stats were lacking, Young was quickly cast as the leader of a growing Buffy squad.

However, Young was operating on a team with two other gunners — Klay Thompson and Kyle Kuzma — and Buffy had one of the worst defenses in the league last season. Nobody averaged over a block a game, or more than 0.7 STL, save for Thompson. Exchanging Young for Simmons should allow Buffy to start constructing a defense, and Simmons’ awful FT% will match Brandon Ingram’s -- which could be mitigated somewhat by Thompson and Malcolm Brogdon’s stellar numbers from the line. In short, it’s a win win!


Trade ID#103:
• SQSQ receive Blake Griffin, Bam Adebayo
• SNAC receive Nikola Vucevic 

Trade ID#104:
• HSTL receive Wendell Carter, Jaylen Brown
• SNAC receive Josh Richardson

Despite losing the 2019 Toilet Bowl, Snack Bears was looking at the 2020 first overall pick coming in, thanks to our new anti-tanking rules. (Fully deserved as they upended their way to a TB Finals showing from #14!) Even with Zion Williamson about to join the team, GM Brandon didn’t rest on his laurels as Snack pulled off a pair of two-for-one trades to tighten their keeper core.

Looking for a center, Snack was rumored to be hunting big fish and got it with the bagging of twenty-eight year old Nikola Vucevic. The first time All-Star put up 20.8 PTS and 12.0 REB, along with a 1/1/1 split. Armed with a new contract in Orlando, Vucevic should serve as the perfect addition to Snack’s frontline of Zion and Kristaps Porzingis.

After getting Vucevic, GM Brandon then went looking for an upgrade at the wing position, bringing in Josh Richardson. J-Rich lost some of his defensive luster last season after being force-fed shots in Miami, but it looks like he should return to his proper 3-and-D ways now that he’s in Philadelphia. With these moves, Snack should move from Toilet Bowl contender to real contender!

Let’s look at what the other two teams got out of these deals. Squirtle Squad acquired Vucevic alllll the way back in 2013 — remember Al Jefferson?! — and has seen him grow into an All-Star. However, with NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo having emerged into his full powers, it was time to put some more pieces around him for a potential championship run.

Blake Griffin may be thirty years old but he’s expanded his game to include an incredible 2.5 3PT last season. And while his defensive stats are lacking, Griffin’s FT% is no longer an anchor like earlier in his career and his 20+ PTS and 5+ AST — along with that 3PT shooting — makes him a unique frontcourt player. Add in the upcoming breakout season from twenty-two year old Bam Adebayo and SQSQ is powered up and ready to go.

After an inactive initial campaign from new owner Dave, Hilt the Stilt made two trades pre-draft. Wendell Carter Jr. — SNAC’s 2019 RD1.6 selection — had an injury plagued rookie year but plenty of potential as a beautiful percentage big man with PTS, REB, and BLK potential. On a roster that was previously filled with centers, Carter will now get a chance to carve out the power forward position all for himself.

Stepping in for Josh Richardson — HSTL’s RD6 dispersal pick — will be Jaylen Brown, who is perpetually on the verge and could be finally edging up a step after this summer’s selection to Team USA. Brown suffers from poor FT% but that won't be a problem on this team, as he'll fit right in next to Andre Drummond. Brown and Carter are twenty-two and twenty years old respectively, which fits right in with Hilt's young build for their sophomore run in SlamNation.


Trade ID#100:
• FUNK receive Kevin Huerter
• SWMP receive FUNK 2021 RD4 

Trade ID#102:
• TRUO receive Julius Randle
• ILCN receive TRUO 2020 RD3 

Trade ID#105:
• SOUR receive Terry Rozier
• HSTL receive SOUR 2020 RD4 

Trade ID#106:
• SWMP receive Kelly Oubre
• CHMK receive SWMP 2020 RD3

These were this offseason’s extra keepers for draft picks results. Funk Coalition scooped up another guy from Swamp Dragons — will they ever win a trade with them? — and will now have the entire Atlanta backcourt.

IL Conceived paid a big price for last year’s rental of Julius Randle, Caris LeVert, and Montrezl Harrell — but having fallen short of getting the number one overall pick, recouped some of that cost by sending Randle to Team Thien, who made the tough decision to drop the ailing John Wall. Randle should be 20/10 guy in New York this season and gives TRUO a nice big man pairing next to Lauri Markkanen.

Our returning champs were actually quite devoid of keeper depth, as Kevin Durant and semi-recent acquisition DeMarcus Cousins are both on the shelf with Achilles tendon tears. After making the tough decision to let Boogie go -- but at least he got a ring! -- Trieu swooped in to grab Terry Rozier from HSTL for a pick. Sour Snails should be able to eat Scary Terry’s terrible FG% in exchange for his starting gig numbers in Charlotte. Or will this ex-Celtic destroy Sour from the inside out...?!

After a 2019 Finals loss to Trieu, Swamp Dragons have their sights set on a revenge season. After deciding not to wait a year for Jusuf Nurkic — or keep Markelle Fultz, again — Eddie made a last-minute deal for Kelly Oubre, freeing up Chunky Monkey to retain their RD1.16 pick from last season, Collin Sexton. The twenty-three year old Oubre was a defensive revelation after getting traded to Phoenix last season, with 1.5 STL and 1.0 BLK. Adding in 16.9 PTS and 1.7 3PT seemed too good to be true. After signing a new two-year deal, Oubre should help Swamp glide over the early season wait for Paul George.

Draft Order 2020

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For our first year with draft slots, as explained here, we played the 2019 post-season to determine what the RD1 draft slots would be. After that, RD2-6 would be in Power Ranking order, snaking starting from RD3 and on. [ New Post-Season 2.0 | Power Ranking 2019 | Draft 2020 Sheet ]

2020 DRAFT SLOT RD1
  1. Snack Bears (5-15)
  2. Another Bad Creation (4-16)
  3. So Buckets (10-9-1) *TB Champion
  4. IL Conceived (7-13)
  5. LA Buffy (8-11-1)
  6. Team Thien (9-11)
  7. Hilt the Stilt (6-14)
  8. Team Cameltoe (3-17)
  9. Swamp Dragons (15-3-2)
  10. Spade (12-7-1)
  11. Squirtle Squad (12-6-2)
  12. Fob Stars (11-8-1)
  13. Funk Coalition (13-7)
  14. Fat Jubas (12-8)
  15. Chunky Monkeys (14-5-1)
  16. Sour Snails (14-5-1) *Champion
Notes: Due to the rule where a #9/10 seed cannot win a top two pick, Snack Bears and Another Bad Creation move up to *1/2 draft slot respectively

2020 DRAFT ORDER RD2-6
  1. Swamp Dragons (15-3-2)
  2. Sour Snails (14-5-1)
  3. Chunky Monkeys (14-5-1)
  4. Funk Coalition (13-7)
  5. Squirtle Squad (12-6-2)
  6. Spade (12-7-1)
  7. Fat Jubas (12-8)
  8. Fob Stars (11-8-1)
  9. So Buckets (10-9-1)
  10. Team Thien (9-11)
  11. LA Buffy (8-11-1)
  12. IL Conceived (7-13)
  13. Hilt the Stilt (6-14)
  14. Snack Bears (5-15)
  15. Another Bad Creation (4-16)
  16. Team Cameltoe (3-17)

Rules: FAAB Free Agent Auction Bidding

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What is dead may never die! After failing to pass as a rule change in 2011, FAAB is back and passed by a strong majority. I think we are all more familiar with the concept of FAAB now but if you have questions about how FAAB works, see the explainer linked below.

Here are the specifics for our FAAB:

  • Free Agent Auction Budding - Continuous
  • Runs daily Monday through Sunday @ 5AM EST
  • Team budget: $100
  • Minimum bid: $0
  • Tiebreaker: Reset Each Week to Inverse Order of Standings
In short, our FAAB means every free agent will be on waivers, it'll run daily (we can adjust the time if need be), there are still zero dollar bids for lots of picking up guys if needed. While FAAB may hamper some of our more aggressive streaming teams, I hope it won't dissuade them from engaging in that strategy.

As a reminder, we do have a new-ish trade deadline, which is the last day of the regular season, aka WK20. [ See numbers 6 and 7 here: Conferences, Re-Seeding, No Roster Lock ]

Franchise ID Numbers

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It's been a full ten years of SlamNation, can you believe it?! For the purposes of historical tracking, every franchise now has a "franchise ID," prioritized by conference, owner start year, and owner alphabetical order.

Each franchise ID number stays with the franchise through all ownership handovers, thus making it easier to keep track for spreadsheets, and to dig up historical numbers.

Russell Conference
1. FJUB - Fat Jubas (Eric)
2. CHMK - Chunky Monkeys (Evan)
3. FUNK - Funk Coalition (Jon)
4. FOBS - Fob Stars (Jimmy)
5. TRUO - Truo Thien (Thien)
6. SWMP - Swamp Dragons (Eddie)
7. SNAC - Snack Bears (Brandon)
8. CMTO - Cameltoe (Felipe)

Chamberlain Conference
9. SQSQ - Squirtle Squad (Brian)
10. ABCX - Another Bad Creation (Oliver)
11. BUFF - Buffy (Roger)
12. SOUR - Sour Snails (Trieu)
13. SBUK - So Buckets (Josh)
14. SPDE - Spade (Randall)
15. ILCN - IL Conceived (Frank)
16. HSTL - Hilt the Stilt (Dave)

Also note that I changed -- and standardized -- everyone’s team abbreviations into four letters. As well as moved full team names to the second field on ESPN. It all just makes it easier for me to pull and run stats. Thanks!

2019 Championship: Still Sweet

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Well, we've all been here before haven't we? After a losing record last regular season, we figured the reign of Sour Snails might be over. Instead, they made a mega-trade before last year's post-season, took themselves to a proper title defense, and only conceded a title to Chunky Monkeys. Not bad, but we assumed Snails would be in a bit of a rebuild as they entered the 2019 season with Brook Lopez and Isaiah Thomas on their keeper core, which was not ideal.

Even with Steph Curry and Kevin Durant on-board, we thought the Snails had floated to the middle of the pack as they were 5-4 at midseason. But then they went 9-1-1 to close out the regular season and finished atop Chamberlain Conference -- again. Of course, that one loss was against Swamp Dragons, the kings of Russell, and Snails had already lost to Eddie's team twice this season.

However, after a small scare in RD1 from Fat Jubas, Sour found its stride again and demolished Squirtle Squad in RD2 before handily dispatching a Swamp Dragon team that failed to put up much of a fight. The final score for the title game was 7-2 after a huge start to the week by Swamp -- albeit losing Jusuf Nurkic early on. But the incredible shooting by Snails -- Durant put up 62.5 FG% on 25/40 shots, Siakam shot 58.6 FG%, Curry threw up 22 3PT -- and it was all she wrote for the week.

In the end, Snails showed off their playoff best combined ODE rating by putting up a first in efficiency, second in defense, and eighth in offensive rating over the past three weeks -- a huge dip from their regular season offense. This playoff run really had to rely on Snails' defense, as they ranked first in BLK behind rookie Mitchell Robinson's monstrous contributions, as well as the timely addition of DeMarcus Cousins just before the post-season. With injuries to Zach LaVine and rest days for his Warriors, Trieu really had to utilize our new non-roster lock rules to churn out useful players.

A list of guys who hit the floor for Sour Snails during championship week: Maxi Kleber, Lance Stephenson, Marco Belinelli, Justin Holiday, Tyus Jones, and Bruno Caboclo. (Those guys are all gonna get rings! Haha.) During their RD1 matchup versus Fat Jubas, Trieu used seventeen players in total. That's some crazy management and strategy, and could be a preview to how our future playoff matchups will have to be going forward. Flexibility and matchups won the day!

And it's been the Midas touch for Trieu all year as he hit huge on draft picks, free agents, and trades. There was the emergence of 2019 RD4 pick Pascal Siakam of the Pascal Siakam All-Stars, the free agent grabs of Montrezl Harrell and Mitchell Robinson, and the six trades that shuffled the core lineup yet again. Overall Sour Snails went from a weakened keeper six to suddenly a team brimming over with depth all over again. Heck, Trieu even traded away Julius Randle, Harrell, and Caris LeVert for future assets and still won the 2019 title!

So to sum it all up for our best franchise ever, in ten years since our reset Sour Snails has accumulated nine years in the playoffs, seven division/conference titles, four best record in the league years, been to seven title games -- this is their fifth in a row -- and won five rings, including a three-peat 2015-17. Oh and they made a Toilet Bowl finals in their only year out of the playoffs too. What's next for Sour? Will it be another repeat? Another three-peat?! Another podcast episode!?!

As for Swamp Dragons, it was a very successful season as they emerged as the top regular season team in SlamNation after four years out of the playoff sunshine, they hit on a number one pick in DeAndre Ayton after the failure of Markelle Fultz, and they won every trade they engaged in with Funk Coalition by a landslide. Alas, Swamp will have to settle for a runner-up trophy yet again after their third title game loss, but at least they are now positioned to be contenders for the forthcoming future behind Paul George and Nikola Jokic. Better luck next year Eddie, and we're counting on you to challenge for a ring next year -- and not the Toilet Bowl kind!


2019 Toilet Bowl: So! So! So!

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As the top seed headed into the Toilet Bowl, So Buckets was well placed to win their second overall Toilet Bowl -- the franchise had a 2011 win under their belt but it was under a previous regime. This time out, So Buckets was entering the Toilet Bowl with a 10-9-1 record and a spotty showing for the season.

Still, they were clearly the best team on paper and proved it by taking the whole losers tournament. Not that there weren't some close calls, as they needed home court advantage to down surging Another Bad Creation in RD2, which ended in a 4-4-1 tie as Buckets escaped a near-upset. And there were injuries aplenty for Josh to manage as CJ McCollum and Derrick Rose were mostly missing, and Joel Embiid and Kyrie Irving were constantly in-and-out of the lineup.

For the three week post-season run, So Buckets were the second ODE rated team overall, sporting a first place offensive rating to go with their sixth rated efficiency and tenth rated offensive score. They were top-three ranked in PTS, REB, STL, BLK, and FG% and that helped overcome their extreme lack of 3PT shooting. And for the actual Toilet Bowl, Buckets was led by Jabari Parker in scoring -- Jabari Parker! Also, shout out to Delon Wright's incredible STL numbers during the tournament.

Alas, with new rules instituted, #9 seeded So Buckets can't win a draft slot higher than *3, so they won't be looking at a Zion Williamson-sized reward for their success. Still, adding the third best rookie to their already fearsome core of Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, Joel Embiid, and Rudy Gobert will be quite a boost for next year's contention hopes. So congrats to Josh for both the new baby and a Toilet Bowl win!

On the losing side of things, Snack Bears awoke from a long regular season slumber to chomp down on two higher seeds on their way to a magical Toilet Bowl run. They took down both Buffy and IL Conceived in successive weeks, earning their berth in the Toilet Bowl but most importantly, the *1 overall 2020 selection.

As we've been saying all year, this team was very talented post-dispersal, and while they hit some injury and mismanagement skid marks along the way, coach Brandon pulled it all together for the final stretch of the season, after we had written Snack off for the season.

Now Snack's future is looking even brighter than before as they've got quite a core assembled for next year: Bradley Beal, De'Aaron Fox, Blake Griffin, youngsters Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Wendell Carter Jr., Bam Adebayo, plus the return of Kristaps Porzingis. After three seasons out of the playoffs, this could be the most exciting team on the rise with Ziooooooon!



Post-Season Results 2019

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Our finish to the 2019 post-season, with quite a few unexpected surprises! See how all this shook out for our 2020 RD1 draft slots, right here!


PLAYOFFS
We have a new champ to crown but we'll cover that in more detail later! For the entire third round of the playoffs, every matchup ended in an upset -- including our championship game. In short, Sour Snails took the title, giving themselves the last pick in 2020 RD1, while Swamp Dragons will get the *9 draft slot for their finals appearance, as a balm to heal the wound of losing.

#6 seeded Team Spade absolutely annihilated #5 Squirtle Squad for a three game WLW record and the rights to the *10 selection, and also backed up their boast from their podcast episode. They finish the 2019 season as the third-best team in SlamNation.

And in a shocking turn, defending champions Chunky Monkeys couldn't take one win all playoffs -- this loss came against Fat Jubas -- and went LLL in three weeks, and will thus will draft in the second-to-last slot, *15, for 2020. Is the Monkey reign already over?

#8 Fob Stars squeaked out a narrow win over #4 Funk Coalition behind John Collins' unexpected burst of BLK, giving Fob a LWW record for the post-season, which will earn them the *12 pick next season. Pulling off two big wins against two higher seeds was exactly why Fob Stars made it into the playoffs, to play giant killer!


TOILET BOWL
We already knew who would draft *1 next year as top-seeded So Buckets was destined for a *3 pick, so most of the drama was between who would win *2 between IL Conceived and Another Bad Creation. After a devastating RD2 loss, there a minute where IL Conceived seemed to throw in the towel by benching Donovan Michell but then they came roaring back to competition. Alas, ABC made all the right moves along the way and our #15 seeded team will earn a highly coveted *2 2020 RD1 pick by going WLW, with IL Conceived dropping down to the *4 draft slot.

There was another upset in Toilet Bowl land, where #11 LA Buffy took out #10 Team Thien and will get to now draft in the top-five after a very close win, powered by R.O.Y. candidate Trae Young. This has to count as a big win for Buffy as they fended off a slew of late-season injuries. As for Thien, injuries has been their bugaboo for two years running...

As for our two last place teams, Hilt the Stilt took down Team Cameltoe as neither hit the max cap. So, um, they "earned" their *7/8 selections. And oh yeah, congrats to So Buckets for a Toilet Bowl title, but we'll cover that in a separate article as well!

Post-Season RD3: 2019

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Okay now that was an insane round! We had a couple of upsets and a whole bunch of nail biters! Unpredictability: that's why we play the game! And don't look now, but it looks like we have a possible Zion owner already determined...[ Playoff Teams | Toilet Bowl Teams]

For a look at which draft slots are at stake, click here!


PLAYOFFS
Round 3 - Finals
• #1 Swamp Dragons (15-3-2) vs #2 Sour Snails (14-5-1)
This is it, our finals! Two best teams in the league. Who will prevail between multiple title winning Sour -- entering their fifth straight finals -- versus the ringless Swamp Dragons?!
Winner earns draft slot *16 while the runner-up will get draft slot *9

Playoff Consolation RD3-2
• #5 Squirtle Squad (12-6-2) vs #6 Team Spade (12-7-1)
Both of these teams got trampled over in RD2 but they can hold their head up high after giving it all they got.
Squirtle and Spade face off for the right to draft slot *10/11

Playoff Consolation RD3-3
•  #4 Funk Coalition (13-7) vs #8 Fob Stars (10-9-1)
•  #3 Chunky Monkeys (14-5-1) vs #7 Fat Jubas (12-8)
In a wild twist of events, our defending champs lose two in a row and now are fighting for draft selections *14/15 after being taken down by Fob Stars in a wild week. Fat Jubas almost pulled off the upset over Funk Coalition but will be heading into RD3 looking for their first post-season win of the season.
Funk and Fob will be playing for draft slot *12/13
Chunky vs Jubas for draft slot *14/15


TOILET BOWL
Round 3 - Toilet Bowl Finals
• #9 So Buckets (10-9-1) vs #14 Snack Bears (5-15)
An insane last day of games had So Buckets barely squeaking by Another Bad Creation — tied 4-4-1, with tie to higher regular season record — as they lock down a Toilet Bowl finals. And since they can’t win the *1 draft pick, they’re locked into the *3 pick. As for Snack Bears, they’ve just come out of nowhere to earn the right to draft first in 2020, aka the Zion sweepstakes! Still, even though their draft slots are locked in, these two owners would surely both love a Toilet Bowl title under their belt.
Snack Bears will have 2020 draft slot *1, while So Buckets will be at *3 regardless of outcome

Toilet Bowl Consolation RD3-2
• #12 IL Conceived (7-13) vs #15 Another Bad Creation (4-16)
While both of these teams suffered agonizing final moment outcomes, they’ve still got a gigantic prize to compete for. There’s either a chance at *2 or *4 on the table depending on who wins. Shout out to LaMarcus Aldridge’s 20/31, 64.5 FG% Sunday night game as that shoved ABC to a near win versus top ranked So Buckets, until a last minute turnover by JaVale McGee ended their upset hopes.
The winner of this matchup gets 2020 *2 draft slot, while loser receives *4

Toilet Bowl Consolation RD3-3
• #10 Team Thien (9-11) vs #11 LA Buffy (8-11-1)
• #13 Hilt the Stilt (6-14) vs #16 Team Cameltoe (3-17)
While better things were hoped for by Thien and Buffy, both of these prideful owners will get the chance to battle it out for a *5/6 pick. Buffy had a hard time of it this week as they were still pummeled by injuries but managed to eke out a win. As for our two worst teams in the league, we’ll see if Hilt the Stilt and Cameltoe bother to adjust their lineup for a shot at a slightly higher draft pick.
Thien and Buffy play for draft slot *5/6
Hilt and Cameltoe face off for draft slot *7/8

Post-Season RD2: 2019

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Whew, round one of our revamped post-season system is in the books! And maybe some of you didn't know that we keep right on playing for another two weeks -- all of us keep playing in consolation rounds -- but I hope you know by now!

Take a listen to EP02 of our podcast, which I just did with Trieu, covering our new post-season rules and also a brief take on the round one results. [ Playoff Teams | Toilet Bowl Teams]


PLAYOFFS
Round 2
• #1 Swamp Dragons (15-3-2) vs #6 Team Spade (12-7-1)
• #2 Sour Snails (14-5-1) vs #5 Squirtle Squad (12-6-2)

Playoff Consolation RD2
• #3 Chunky Monkeys (14-5-1) vs #8 Fob Stars (10-9-1)
• #4 Funk Coalition (13-7) vs #7 Fat Jubas (12-8)

Spade took down defending champs Monkeys with a thrilling last minute victory that basically came down to FG%, as James Harden might have shot Monkeys out of the game on Sunday night. After talking the smack in our first podcast episode, Randall is proving he's a dangerous team right as the lights shine brightest!

Squirtles also creamed Funk Coalition in their #5/4 matchup behind lovely work by Jalen Brunson and Lou Williams, all while shooting an incredible 51.4 FG%. Top seeded Swamp Dragons and Sour Snails faced stiff challenges of their own for most of the week but they ended up fending off their challengers with aplomb. Can't wait to see what week two of the playoffs hold!

Note: Those in Playoff Consolation RD2 are now playing for draft slots *12-15, as can be seen in the image from New Post-Season 2.0 rules.


TOILET BOWL
Round 2
• #9 So Buckets (10-9-1) vs #15 Another Bad Creation (4-16)
• #12 IL Conceived (7-13) vs #14 Snack Bears (5-15)

Toilet Bowl Consolation RD2
• #10 Team Thien (9-11) vs #16 Team Cameltoe (3-17)
• #11 LA Buffy (8-11-1) vs #13 Hilt the Stilt (6-14)

There was a quite a bit of upheaval here in the chase for the 2020 number one overall pick. Snack Bears used a late Sunday surge to put Buffy away in a bit of a shocker. Snack Bears actually put up a top-three offensive rating while pouring in 3PT/AST/STL to take out a Brandon Ingram-less Buffy.

And then there was ABC pulling off another upset, but doing it in style by stomping on Team Thien the whole week long -- all hail Elfrid Payton, our new triple double monster. We'll be honest, it wasn't pretty and now ABC has landed a top-four draft slot as well as kept hopes alive for a Toilet Bowl win.

Meanwhile So Buckets took care of business against a GP-less Cameltoe (20/21 GP), and IL Conceived did the same against Hilt the Stilt, who also didn't adjust their lineup all week. The deserving owners moved on in the continued chase for Zion!

Note: Those in Toilet Bowl Consolation RD2 are now playing for draft slots *5-8, as can be seen in the image from New Post-Season 2.0 rules.

Owner Ratings: Final 2019

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Remember when we dug into owner ratings at the end of December? Well the formula was Games Played + Moves + Wins. Now we're back to take a look at how the final 2019 owner ratings worked out.

Our top five owners at the turn were Eddie, Thien, Trieu, Brian, Evan. Now that has changed to Eddie, Trieu, Brian, Evan, Jon. Okay so that didn't change all that much, but that's likely explained mostly by how the end-of-season wins column got added in.

Similarly, our bottom five owners remained mostly static, with the exception of Jimmy sliding down as Randall moved up a slot.


Games Played
Securing the top prize for Games Played is Roger, who despite pulling some players in WK20 to secure a seed, edged out Eddie by +1 game (530 to 529) for GP. Congratulations! Of course, Buffy also holds the distinction of being the only non-playoff team of the top five GP owners...

Looking at disparities between GP and wins, we can see who used the least number of games to acquire the most number of wins. Evan's Chunky Monkeys were a sterling +8 here as they had the tenth most GP but tied for second most regular season wins. Jimmy and Randall were right behind Evan at +5 and +4 in this category, respectively.

Roger "led" the way in the other direction, playing the first most GP but grinding out only the eleventh most wins for a -11 calculation here. There was a three way tie after Roger with -4 GP/W ratio, with were achieved by Thien, Frank, and Oliver.

In total we had fifty-two early maxed out weeks this season, thereafter referred to as "mismanagement." Our bottom five Games Played owners -- Josh, Jimmy, Brandon, Dave, Felipe -- accounted for a whopping forty of them, or 76.9%. Felipe led the way with fourteen mismanagement weeks while new owner Dave racked up eleven.

Coaches that didn't have a single mismanagement week: Roger, Frank, Brian, and Eddie. Attendance medals for these four! 🏅

Taking the top/bottom outliers out, the average Games Played per week was 24.9 per week.

Moves
As usual, Thien led the league in Moves, with a whopping 102 -- that's 5.1 a week! -- while Trieu and Brian were a distant second and third with 39 and 34 moves respectively. We saw no moves from both Brandon and Dave. What gives?!

Both Thien and Frank had much higher moves than wins, with Thien ranking a -9 for moves/wins ratio, while Frank was -5 for the same calculation. On the other end of the spectrum, Spade was a whopping +8 as they made only the thirteenth most moves but emerged with a tied for fifth best wins in the regular season. Similarly, Jon was a +5 in the moves/win ratio.

Taking the top/bottom outliers out, the average moves per franchise was 15.5, or about 0.78 moves per week.

Trades
Moving players aren't an indication of a good or bad owner, but trades are fun and the life/rumor blood of any league! We had a sterling twelve trades this season -- including our first actual three-way -- but it was basically a Jon and Trieu show as Jon was involved in eight of those trades and Trieu five. Eddie, Frank, Jimmy, and Thien snuck in two trades apiece though! Where were you Evan, aka our third most often trading owner?!

Toilet Bowl 2019

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We looked at the winners, now let's take a look at the losers! Here are our bottom eight teams from 2019, which will be fighting for the right to the *1-8 draft slots next year. Reminder that #9 and #10 seeds can only win up to the *3 draft slot!

#9 So Buckets (10-9-1)
First half (WK1-10): 8/5/7 ODE, 6th
Second half (WK11-20): 12/8/2 ODE, 8th
By all accounts, this team probably should be in the playoffs with its 0.500+ record. A core of Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, CJ McCollum, Joel Embiid, and Rudy Gobert was ranked one of the best in the league. Even a move across conferences to Chamberlain should’ve given last year’s fourteen win team no slowdown except to accumulate victories.

Alas, reality finds us all and a wonderful baby came into Josh’s life. I know firsthand how that can take down one’s free time — I’m an uncle! — and thus So Buckets fell into Toilet Bowl after two straight Voltron division titles. Josh has never actually been out of the first round of the Toilet Bowl in three previous attempts but they are the odds-on favorite to win this year. With a resurgent season from Derrick Rose, a little dash of Harrison Barnes, Noah Vonleh, and maybe even Jabari Parker, these Buckets could earn a nice third overall draft pick to bring home with daddy to nap with!

Buckets has a stellar front court and one of the better defenses in the Toilet Bowl. They are fourth in FG%, BLK, TO, and fifth in REB. While their offense has gone in the tank over the back half of the season, an impressive second overall efficiency rating could definitely power them through most challengers.

#10 Team Thien (9-11)
4/10/8 ODE, 7th
13/10/9 ODE, 12th
Our other team ineligible for the top prize in the Toilet Bowl, Thien’s 2019 story is the tale of two halves. After starting off 7-2 and looking like a contender, they’ve gone 2-9 the rest of the way to end up with their first losing record ever in SlamNation, and are now off to their third ever trip to the Toilet Bowl. A trip in 2010 resulted in a TB win and John Wall, but in 2013 then Super Ninja was upset in the semis. How will Thien fare this time out?

A late breaking trade will now give Thien a new leader: Kemba Walker. With the injury to John Wall and the recent ACL recovery of DeMarcus Cousins, Thien needed something to juice their fan base. A Kemba, Jimmy Butler, Mike Conley, and Dennis Schroder backcourt should be enough to take most of the guard categories right? Looking over the second half cats, Thien was awful in AST, REB, FG%, while being only excellent in TO. However, we can’t give those numbers much credence as inserting Kemba changes everything. We’re going to see how well Thien’s Games Played streaming works in the playoffs this year as we finally have eliminated roster lock!

#11 LA Buffy (8-11-1)
10/15/8 ODE, 12th
5/14/8 ODE, 9th
The Zion sweepstakes start here as Buffy has the best shot at landing Zion Williamson, the incoming god among mortals. This marks six straight seasons out of the playoffs for Roger and the rebuild from old to young has been long but we’re about to possibly see a forty-inch vertical leap forward if Buffy can land the top pick in this Toilet Bowl.

After declaring this team one of the three “gold player-less” teams in the league -- and the worst rated keeper core --Roger might have found their franchise cornerstone in 2019 1.4 rookie Trae Young. With 23.7 PTS and 9.5 AST in his last month of games, Young has been leading the charge for a suddenly scary Buffy squad that has nice pieces up and down the roster. Unfortunately, Brandon Ingram has been shelved for the season and Kyle Kuzma is also staring at an injury. With the young Lakers out, this go-go Buffy offense could suffer quite a bit.

Still, a 3-2-1 record in recent weeks is a huge sign of encouragement — those two losses and tie came against Chunky, Funk, Swamp — as Buffy has an offensive advantage over everyone else in the Toilet Bowl field. They are third ranked in PTS and FG% over the second half of the season and sixth in 3PT. While they are distinctly lacking in defense all around, a league average efficiency rating should be just enough to make Buffy scary to all comers. We commend coach Roger for putting up our league leading Games Played, meaning this was no tank job! If karma is a thing, then Buffy will earn a Zion to pair with his Trae.

#12 IL Conceived (7-13)
11/7/16 ODE, 14th
7/11/16 ODE, 14th
After scooping up Donovan Mitchell, Dennis Smith Jr, Luka Doncic, and Jaren Jackson in successive drafts since entering the league, Frank now has his set on Zion as well. A full on all-in push to buff his frontline off a recent trade means IL Conceived means business. They’ve already gotten to a Toilet Bowl finals in their short one-year history and has a decent shot at getting there again.

A 1-5 start portended their journey toward the Toilet Bowl but there have been sparks to promise in wins versus Fat Jubas and Chunky Monkeys throughout the season. A four game slide at the end of the season put IL Conceived behind the eight ball though, and now an injury to Jaren Jackson could further hamstring their chances. But with Mitchell performing like a star again, and Luka magic, maybe a deep run in the Toilet Bowl could happen.

It’s been a very weird flip floppy year for IL Conceived as they started the first half of the season with an above average defense but somehow flipped that right around and became a seventh rated offense for the second half. One thing has remained steady however: this team is wildly inefficient. Last in the league FG% and very poor FT% means it’s an uphill battle for IL Conceived each week. Their lone statistical highlight is a top-three ranking in AST, plus a decent volume of 3PT. Will that be enough to get a top pick and complete the rookies set?

#13 Hilt the Stilt (6-14)
16/8/8 ODE, 11th
16/5/11 ODE, 11th
For a team that put up the second-to-last Games Played, made no roster moves, and racked up eleven mismanagement weeks total, getting to six wins is quite impressive! What’s even stranger is that two of those wins have come against Spade and Fat Jubas, who both twelve-win teams. What do we make of this team then?

Losing Victor Oladipo for the season obviously hurt but there was the emergence of rookie Kevin Knox and the brief flash of Derrick White to cheer for. Somehow the team put up a fifth rated defense over the back half of the season — and didn’t even use Jarrett Allen — which just speaks to the impressive REB/STL/BLK power of Andre Drummond, Steven Adams, rookie Mikal Bridges, and White. Will first year owner Dave turn it up for a Zion chase? Maybe! They’ll be facing an uphill battle but on paper this team could be a dark horse threat right?

#14 Snack Bears (5-15)
7/13/15 ODE, 15th
14/13/15 ODE, 16th
After losing in the regular season finale to their friend Dave, Snack Bears find themselves near the bottom of the barrel despite one of the more exciting breakout seasons happening right on their roster! Yes we’re talking about De’Aaron Fox, who has emerged during his sophomore year as likely the best point guard from his loaded draft class. Fox was also joined by excellent years from Bradley Beal and Blake Griffin, and the 2019 draft also brought in Wendell Carter Jr. and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, who look like future bright spots. Add in Kristaps Porzingis and this lost season could turn around in a hurry.

For now though, it looks like Snack will have to deal with a RD1 Toilet Bowl defeat as they have no clear strengths, a league worst overall ODE rating, and a roster full of guys who need time to (over)cook. Also, mismanagement during five of their last seven games — after accruing none through the first thirteen weeks — have sent Snack Bears spinning downward and we’re not sure if that’s part of the overall strategy or what. We hope there’s an evil plot by Brandon and Dave to take out SlamNation soon, as these two New Yorkers might just be biding their time and waiting for the right opportunity to strike!

#15 Another Bad Creation (4-16)
14/10/4 ODE, 9th
10/11/13 ODE, 13th
We must all thank ABC for their WK11 defeat of defending champion Chunky Monkeys during Christmas week. At the time, Monkeys were undefeated and that ABC loss sent them into a tailspin that made LeBron and Co. mortal again. So thank you Oliver! The question is, what does ABC have for an encore?

A very difficult last stretch of the season still yielded two of this season’s four total wins and there’s a chance that Russell Westbrook and LaMarcus Aldridge could earn a better than expected draft slot for next season. A last minute trade of Dwayne Wade for Evan Fournier and Kent Bazemore adds a little bit of depth to Another Bad Creation but this roster is a bit in shambles behind the big two, as previous contributors such as Enes Kanter, TJ Warren, Tristan Thompson, and Kyle Anderson are all either ineffective or injured.

Oliver has been putting up respectable Games Played numbers all season though and he’s been engaged throughout, as befitting an owner that is coming off three straight Transformer titles and even had the best regular season record last year. With a seemingly weak keeper core, we’re very intrigued about the rebuild that seems inevitable, as Aldridge will be thirty-four years old next season and there doesn’t seem to be any young talent in the pipeline, unless you want to count Malik Beasley in a crowded Denver rotation. A huge Toilet Bowl upset could get ABC the piece it needs to rebuild fast so we’re crossing our fingers for Oliver's upset success!

#16 Team Cameltoe (3-17)
15/14/6 ODE, 16th
15/16/3 ODE, 15th
They say you have to go down before you go up and if that’s the case, then welcome to Cameltoe’s absolute bottom. Cameltoe’s season has gone just about as well as their franchise cornerstone Anthony Davis’, and at least Cameltoe doesn’t have Magic Johnson calling the shots. While grading out as our worst owner on the season, we know Felipe too well to not suspect that he doesn’t have something up his sleeve. Any man who has a dedicated email for his fantasy franchises is clearly forward thinking enough to a tank season right?

A league low 409 Games Played — 20.5 per week, or -4.25 less than the Slam average — and fourteen of twenty weeks mismanaged has to mean something is up. Does Cameltoe secretly employ Rich Paul?! More importantly, can this team on a ten-game losing streak entering the Toilet Bowl even entertain a dream of a monumental #16 vs #9 seed upset?! With prize rookie Marvin Bagley out, that answer is probably a solid “no,” but still we must dare dream.

Could a team of new Laker Anthony Davis, Steph 2.0 Buddy Hield, Bagley, Hassan Whiteside, Harry Giles, Josh Jackson, and maybe Michael Porter Jr. keep fans in the stands next season? We’re about to find out and we hope the good people of Cameltoe-ville demand a strong finish to the season. Or at least a team that shows up when there's something valuable on the line right?