Showing posts with label 2024. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2024. Show all posts

2024 Championship: Original Glazed

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In a matchup that was closer than the final score indicated, third-seeded KSKT took out fourth-seeded BUFF in the 2024 Finals, acquiring the championship for Krispy Kreme Team! Up through Friday and Saturday, the matchup was a back and forth, even as BUFF piled up the Games Played. Heading into Sunday, it would be seven players on-deck for KSKT to wrap up a title. In the end, even with Cade Cunningham a scratch, Zion Williamson pulled through with a huge 36 PTS, 6 AST, and 13/14 FT% performance. That, along with Paul Reed’s two blocks, really sealed the deal for KSKT.

For KSKT, it was a glorious playoff run as Williamson, Tyrese Haliburton, and Cunningham all came together for the stretch run. We always knew that KSKT mainly needed health to contend, and this was the year it all came together, as championship week also featured Kristaps Porzingis, Anfernee Simons, Michael Porter Jr., and D’Angelo Russell playing their hearts out. The real secret sauce of the matchup was KSKT winning both percentage categories, which was too big a challenge for BUFF to overcome.

For our youngest owner to take a title with the youngest SlamNation core seems very fitting!

How did they acquire this core? Well, since entering SlamNation as the sole owner of a franchise in 2021, Matt has steadily risen the ranks, valuing a strong foundation over early success. With their training from helping run dad’s SQSQ franchise, GM Matt clearly had a vision for his Krispy Kreme Team. That first year, KSKT only notched six victories but already had the core of his future title winning team in place with Williamson, Porzingis, and Porter Jr., on-board via the dispersal draft. That year’s RD1.4 pick by Matt was Haliburton, and after SQSQ won the 2021 Toilet Bowl, KSKT got the 2022 RD1.1 pick due to the SWMP Rule. That first overall pick was used to take Cunningham, and the 2022 season also featured grabbing Anthony Simons as a FAAB pickup.

As for trades, in 2021 KSKT moved a future RD1, basically for Clint Capela and Keldon Johnson, which resulted in it being a future RD1.4—which was used by CHMK to take Richuan Holmes. Aside from that, most of KSKT’s other moves were around the edges, as GM Matt had a penchant for acquiring multiple picks for each draft and drafting a slew of players each year.

However, as we can see, all of KSKT’s core is homegrown, and they had their foundation set up from nearly the start. It was only a matter of waiting for some seasoning—and health—for KSKT to make a title run. Their first playoff run, last season, was after a 16-4 season that saw them win the regular season crown. (Note: KSKT is 44-29-1 in four regular seasons, good for seventh best owner winning percentage in Slam, out of thirty owners.) Unfortunately, they were upended by FJUB in the semifinals. This time, KSKT got it all right, taking out defending champion SOUR in RD1 and then taking care of business from there on out, including eliminating SQSQ—who had already taken out heavily favored SCRM in RD1—for their Finals shot.

It’s wonderful to see such great ownership rewarded by a title, and with the way this roster is constructed—and the emergence of a thrilling backcourt—KSKT could look for many titles in future years, congrats!


As for BUFF,
making it into the Finals was no small accomplishment. It’s been eleven years since BUFF last made the Finals behind a Tim Duncan led team that barely lost the title to 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps—three points literally decided the title. That loss sent BUFF on a seven year decline before they started to build some respectability back four seasons ago—they’ve had a regular season record of 37-36-1 and last made the playoffs in 2021 with a 0.500 record.

All those down years did result in some talent coming back via the draft, as BUFF managed to acquire Brandon Ingram (2017 RD1.2), Trae Young (2019 RD1.4), and Anthony Edwards (2021 RD1.6) with top selections. Young and Edwards were both eventually traded, while Kyle Kuzma was also a 2021 draft pick, at RD4.8. A huge win for GM Roger was grabbing free-agent Domantas Sabonis in 2018. That was also the year Klay Thompson came on-board as a keeper, in exchange for Khris Middleton.

Still, nobody expected this BUFF team to be in contention for a title but here they were, slugging it out with the best, as new trade acquisition Jalen Brunson was having some huge games. The additions of Brunson, Mikal Bridges, and Jalen Duren really fleshed the depth out on this team, and there’s a world where a healthier Brandon Ingram might have tipped the balance. In the end however, getting to a Finals was a huge win for 2024 BUFF, and we hope to see them in the title hunt again next year!


(Full stats)

Toilet Bowl 2024: Sucked Back In

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After five straight seasons in the playoffs, SWMP somehow found themselves in the Toilet Bowl despite a 10-8 record. Edged out by multiple tie-breakers, SWMP was the leading candidate to win the 2024 Toilet Bowl and they did so without much trouble as the top seed, dispatching ABCX and UFOS in the first two rounds—the two worst teams in the league—and then breaking the spirit of FUNK in the final round. The Toilet Bowl win is nice, but SWMP is also a victim of its own success, as they now dubbed “SWMP Rule” will prevent them from enjoying a top-two pick in the 2025 draft. However, they will win a RD1.3 selection, and that is still a nice prize for a team that is loaded with talent.

The trade off of Alperen Sengun will give SWMP a new look heading into next season as they’ll feature a theoretical keeper core of Nikola Jokic, Jalen Williams, Paul George, Zach LaVine, Jalen Johnson, Keyonte George, Deandre Ayton, and Bradley Beal—who led this team in minutes in the TB Finals! (Already there were talks of the injured LaVine being shopped in the upcoming offseason.)

This SWMP’s third Toilet Bowl win, tying them with CHMK for the record. Congrats Eddie and we hope to never see you in the Toilet Bowl again!

As for FUNK, they pulled off wins versus MELO and TRUO to advance to their third Toilet Bowl finals, and they’ll get the number one overall pick by default. The last time FUNK had back-to-back Toilet Bowl victories and subsequent number one picks, ending up with Karl-Anthony Towns and Ben Simmons in 2015 and 2016 respectively. With no consensus top prospect in the upcoming 2025 draft, it’ll be interesting to see what direction FUNK goes with this selection.


(Full Stats)

Postseason Recap & A Mess Up

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A slight mess up. In RD2 of the consolation games, it should have been #1 SCRM vs #6 SOUR and #2 SPDE vs #5 ILCN. Instead, I had it SCRM vs ICLN and SPDE vs SOUR. The result was a SOUR upset win, but seeing as the mistake happened, I’m gonna leave the results as is. Apologies to all teams involved.

During the last round of consolation games, FJUB defeated SQSQ via a tie—with the higher seed winning—while SCRM defeated SOUR and SPDE took down ILCN.

Over in the Toilet Bowl consolation, TRUO defeated UFOS, MELO took down ABCX—also via a tie score—and CHMK upset SBUK in the final round.

Postseason Recap & RD3 Matchups

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Another wild week in Slam! A tie in the Toilet Bowl and two Toilet Bowl contestants that have already made history for their franchises. Note: Matchup  and then 2025 RD1 draft picks being played for in parentheses.


๐Ÿ‘‘Playoffs RD3

3 KSKT vs 4 BUFF ( Pick RD1.16 / RD1.9)

Playoffs RD3 Consolation

7 FJUB vs 8 SQSQ (10 / 11)

1 SCRM vs 6 SOUR (12 / 13)

2 SPDE vs 5 ILCN (14 / 15)


For our title game featuring two teams who've never grasped the championship, we have a matchup between "the team that’s been promised," KSKT, versus a longtime franchise that’s been adrift recently, BUFF.

Since spinning off into their own team in 2021, KSKT has gone 44-29-1 in four regular seasons, capturing one regular season wins crown and making two playoff appearances. Now, after defeating dad’s team, SQSQ, in the semi-finals, owner Matt will have a chance to make history as the youngest SlamNation champion! The team itself is also incredibly young, as Tyrese Haliburton, Cade Cunningham, Zion Williamson, Anfernee Simons, and Michael Porter Jr. are all twenty-five years old or under. The lone “old man” of the core, Kristaps Porzingis, is still under thirty himself.

During this same four year period, BUFF has gone 37-36-1, meandering from back-to-back 0.500 records to a 7-13 2023 season, and then an unexpected 12-6 record this year. As the fourth overall seed, it’s maybe not an objective surprise that BUFF is in the Finals--which they reached once in 2013--but this team sure wasn’t on anyone’s contender radar.

As a true dark horse, BUFF has been on an 11-1 run since mid-December, including a win versus KSKT in WK12—who was minus a healthy Tyrese Haliburton and Kristaps Porzingis. Overall, BUFF hasn’t lost a game since mid-January and all their playoff success can’t be just credited to juicing up the roster after trading away Anthony Edwards. (Of course, getting 35.7 PTS and 3.7 3PT from Jalen Brunson and 17.5 PTS and 15.0 REB from Jalen Duren for the week was crucial.)

On paper, this is KSKT’s championship to lose as they have all the star names, but BUFF clearly has the momentum and the support of the fans who love cheering for underdogs. For this matchup, Porzingis will likely still be missing, but the rest of KSKT’s oft-injured lineup looks fully healthy. They also have two clear winning categories—3PT and BLK—while BUFF should win REB. After that, the rest of the categories will be a toss up, with KSKT getting the slight edge in PTS and AST.  However, Jalen Brunson is gamer and as the 2024 playoffs has proven: anything can happen!!!



๐ŸšฝToilet Bowl RD3

9 SWMP vs 12 FUNK (3 / 1 ) ๐Ÿ”’

Toilet Bowl RD3 Consolation

14 TRUO vs 15 UFOS (2 / 4)

10 SBUK vs 11 CHMK (5 / 6)

13 MELO vs 16 ABCX (7 / 8)


In the Toilet Bowl, it’s another case of a post-CHMK trade partner powering their way to the final game. SWMP jettisoned home-grown Alperen Sengun—who got hurt last week--for two Jalens (Williams and Johnson), and those two have combined for an average of 19.1 PTS, 5.75 REB, 4.6 AST, 1.3 STL, 0.9 BLK, 2.1 3PT, and just about 50% FG for the past two weeks.

A Toilet Bowl title is likely, however that doesn’t mean SWMP will get their choice of top picks next season, as they will be locked into 2025 RD1.3 pick, as the benefactor’s of the SWMP Rule. That means, as the next team up, FUNK falls into the first overall draft pick next season, and did it by the skin of their teeth.

In a matchup that came down to a handful of rebounds and tie in steals, FUNK and TRUO ended Sunday tied up at 4-4-1, necessitating a visit to the rulebook. After a short consultation with the commissioners, it was decided officially that the higher seed would win in any postseason matchup, thus sending FUNK to face off against SWMP. [ Playoff Tie-Breaker System, updated ]

While there isn’t any draft positioning at stake, there is still something on the line. Both FUNK and SWMP have won repeat Toilet Bowl titles, and one of them will join CHMK in the exclusive three time Toilet Bowl winner club. It may be a ignoramus distinction, but for teams in the Toilet Bowl, a win is a win is a win!

Note: Due to the SWMP Rule, TRUO and UFOS will be playing for the 2025 RD1.2 and RD1.4 picks.

Postseason Recap & RD2 Matchups

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In a shocking WK1 of SlamNation 2024 playoffs, we maybe had our most upset filled week ever! (And we thought last year’s RD1 was exciting!) Down went #1 and #2 overall, as well as two higher seeds in the Toilet Bowl. With karma playing a huge role—and injuries—we already have a very interesting final four in the title and Toilet Bowl chases.

๐Ÿ‘‘ Playoffs RD2

3 KSKT vs 8 SQSQ

4 BUFF vs 7 FJUB

Playoffs RD2 Consolation

1 SCRM vs 5 ILCN

2 SPDE vs 6 SOUR

In an extreme shocker, eighth seeded SQSQ took out the seemingly invincible SCRM. Toward the back half of the regular season, some owners were convinced that SCRM was unbeatable. However, once you get on the court, anything can happen. In this case, SCRM sort of had sewn the seeds of their own unexpected destruction.

The early season trade for Kawhi Leonard has been great all season for SCRM but at Leonard took the most in inopportune time to miss a game. And then last week’s pre-deadline move to bring in rim deterrent Brook Lopez only netted SCRM five total blocks in four games, which was way below Lopez’s average. And then there was the big revenge game. Ex-SCRM franchise cornerstone Anthony Davis came through huge with a gigantic week, highlighted by a 27 PTS, 25 REB, 5 AST, 7 STL, 3 BLK career day to cap off Sunday. Now that’s a revenge game!

Overall, SQSQ took REB, BLK, TOS, and both percentage categories. This has to be a huge moment for the franchise—perhaps their biggest win ever! SQSQ has not advanced past the first round since 2019 and have never pulled off an upset of this magnitude. Now coach Brian will have a chance to face off against his son Matt for a chance to advance to SQSQ’s first SlamNation finals.

As if one major upset wasn’t enough, FJUB—who backed into a playoff spot--called upon the fantasy gods himself to take down future fantasy gods Viktor Wembanyama and Chet Holmgren. Sure, it helped that Wemby only suited up for thirty-one minutes total, but it was still quite a feat to match SPDE in blocks, with Isaiah Hartenstein and Herbert Jones really came through there. With major injuries on both sides, this upset ended up being not all that close as FJUB used three extra Games Played to emerge with a stress-free 6-2-1 victory.

For the semi-final round, we’re looking at three teams that have never been in the championship game before—KSKT, BUFF, SQSQ—with only FJUB having any previous title game experience. Our eyes will be glued to the father-son matchup but BUFF versus FJUB is also a showdown for the (Catch the Damn Ball) ages. Congrats to all four teams still left alive in the chase for the ring! Note: KSKT took care of business at home and eliminated the defending champs, SOUR, so the repeat is out the window.


๐Ÿšฝ Toilet Bowl RD2

9 SWMP vs 15 UFOS

12 FUNK vs 14 TRUO

Toilet Bowl RD2 Consolation

10 SBUK vs 16 ABCX

11 CHMK vs 13 MELO

Over in the Toilet Bowl, the upsets didn’t stop, as TRUO and UFOS both pulled off huge wins versus CHMK and SBUK respectively—and MELO was one block away from tying FUNK.

With recent trade acquisition Alperen Sengun being carted off the floor on Sunday, CHMK entire front line let him down as Evan Mobley was hurt and Bam Adebayo had been slumping. Thin after all their recent mega-trades, the stage was set here for an upset already. TRUO still had to take care of business however and they did with some accurate shooting, plenty of threes, and winning PTS by a mere eleven as De’Aaron Fox averaged 28.8 points over four games.

And then there was UFOS toppling tenth seeded SBUK, who mismanaged and hit the games cap on Saturday, although it’s likely their fate was sealed regardless Joel Embiid and Desmond were out of action anyway. For a fifteenth seed with just one win on the season, UFOS taking out one of the top-two seeds in the Toilet Bowl has to be the highlight of the year. Damian Lillard flanked by rebounding and defense was the winning formula.

Now both TRUO and UFOS have guaranteed themselves at least a top four pick in the 2025 draft, great job! In RD2, we’ll be keeping a close eye on the SWMP versus UFOS cousin face-off to see if Victor can pull off another huge upset! 


Playoffs Teams: 2024

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[ Power Rankings 2024Toilet Bowl Teams 2024 | One-Third Power Rankings 2024 ]

#1 SCRM (16-1-1)

ODE: 2/1/5

Capturing his first regular season championship in SlamNaton, SCRM has been on a steady climb ever since entering the league four years ago: from seven to eleven to fifteen and now sixteen wins—in a shorted schedule no less. With just a single WK1 loss and a tie versus KSKT in WK11, SCRM basically ran the table and will enter the 2024 playoffs as the heavy favorite for a ring.

Never one to rest on his laurels, GM Jordan shook the league with three mega-deals this season—acquiring Giannis Antetokounmpo pre-draft, moving all-in for Kawhi Leonard early on, and then divesting themselves of Karl-Anthony Towns late to acquire some additional postseaon depth. SCRM is top-ranked in PTS, REB, AST, STL, and FG%, while being very good in BLK as well. With a mostly healthy roster headed into our last few weeks, it looks like SCRM will be the clear team to beat. All they have to do is put the cherry on top of a banner 2024 regular season to give this franchise its first title!


#2 SPDE (13-4-1)

ODE: 6/2/5

Welp, after three down season, SPDE is fully back to their dominant regular season selves. Adding two generational seven-footers didn’t hurt, as both 2024 RD1.1 Victor Wembanyama and 2023 RD1.2 Chet Holmgren were better than advertised as rookies, powering SPDE back into contention in an instant. SPDE the season off well but really hit their stride late, wrapping up the regular season 7-1, as Wemby fully took off. A late October trade-off of Kawhi Leonard—for Walker Kessler and Bogdan Bogdanovic—seemed great then, but a fully healthy Leonard has powered top-seeded SCRM to regular season greatness.

However, this first season of Wemby-Chet has to be considered the floor for the new-look SPDE as they are not only young but extremely stacked. Tyrese Maxey emerged as an All-Star this season and even with injuries still plaguing the roster throughout, SPDE spanked teams down the stretch. SPDE was tops in BLK (obviously), but also lead SlamNation in FT% and are top five in PTS, 3PT, and STL. Entering the playoffs, they are missing a significant portion of their star power, as it looks like Devin Booker, Maxey, Tyler Herro, Kessler, and even Wembanyama have injury issues. However SPDE finishes the season however, they can already go into 2025 as the likely favorites, and maybe forever more?


#3 KSKT (12-5-1)

ODE: 2/11/12

Our repeat Chamberlain Conference winner started the season off on a seven win game streak before a troubling midseason stretch had them going just 2-4-1 as they got upset time and time again. Some of that was due to the injuries to Tyrese Halliburton and Cade Cunningham—the dual-turbo backbone of KSKT—so once they came back, the team rounded back into shape and are now the second-favorites for the 2024 title.

An explosive backcourt surrounding Zion Williamson and Kristaps Porzingis are a handful for anyone, and it looks like everyone’s healthy, which is a huge factor for this team. KSKT’s offense is rated second overall, as they shoot threes and pass with the best. However, their lack of rebounding and defense could be exposed come the playoffs against the wrong matchup. However, KSKT’s roster is deep and talented throughout and a championship breakthrough is overdue after last year’s semi-final upset at the hands of eventual champ FJUB. Playing under the radar most of the season, KSKT might be aligning right in time for an epic playoff run.


#4 BUFF (12-6)

ODE: 3/10/15

After only one winning season over the past decade, BUFF surprised everyone this year with a stunning ascension to home-court advantage in the first round and a top-four playoff seed. Bravo! After a slow 0.500 start to the year, BUFF hit their stride at the end of December and went 9-1 over the next ten weeks, with only a WK13 loss against FJUB. They were an excellent offensive team—with good PTS and AST—while struggling with STL, BLK, and FT%.

Interestingly, there wasn’t much substantive roster change—minus a Spencer Dinwiddie for Ben Simmons keeper swap, and the usual slew of rental veterans from the 2024 draft—but this BUFF team just simply outperformed their predecessors. With the team finally pointed upward, it was a bit of a shock to see twenty-two year old All-Star Anthony Edwards traded away right before the postseason, even as it brought back Jalen Brunson, Mikal Bridges, and Jalen Duren. With such a significant roster move pre-playoffs, it’s hard to gauge how well BUFF is positioned for a playoff run so for now we’ll laud their stellar regular season bounce back!


#5 ILCN (11-7)

ODE: 4/2/15

A team bursting with talent and conceptually on the rise, ILCN should have been going full-bore toward a title run this season. Instead, ILCN stumbled out of the gate with four losses in their first five weeks and we thought the team was going straight downhill. However, even as injuries piled up, ILCN found itself re-balancing and then used a six-game win streak to finish the season as an outside-ish contender. With just one win separating them from possibly being in the Toilet Bowl, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that ILCN has a true shot at the title.

However, ILCN does possess giant-killing powers, as they are well balanced on offense and defense, and are only held back week-to-week by their poor free throw shooting—and second-to-last TOS. Still a young team, nearly everyone on the roster had a career year—especially Donovan Mitchell--but injuries truly did wreak havoc on ILCN. Entering the postseason, there is a likely scenario where Mitchell, Khris Middleton, and Dereck Lively II won’t suit up, nevermind the long-time absence of Shadeon Sharpe and Mitchell Robinson. It was a valiant effort to climb back into the playoffs, but short of a Luka Doncic led miracle, the 2024 ILCN story may end in round one.


#6 SOUR (10-7-1)

ODE: 5/9/8

Our defending champs were rumored to in a deal for an all-in defense, but alas the trade deadline came and went quietly for GM Trieu. It’s rare to see SOUR so quiet before the playoffs but we’ve heard there’s a new addition to the SOUR household so congrats! And let’s not forget that Trieu already flipped over five of their six keepers from 2023 to 2024, and in retrospect, most of those moves look like wins, especially in the case of Scottie Barnes, who had a breakout All-Star campaign. SOUR had a very good draft too, with potential keepers Miles Bridges, Immanuel Quickley, and Jonathan Kuminga picked up with their first three selections.

SOUR started off the season hot with four wins in their first five games, but the rest of their regular season unfolded erratically, with losses against not only future playoff teams but the bottom dwellers of the league. Closing the year on a 1-3 run took SOUR into the lower echelons of the playoff bracket and now they’ll have to fight their way to another repeat title. As always however, it would be foolish to count SOUR out, as they’ve stolen rings they should’ve never logically gotten. With Barnes and Lauri Markkanen ailing though, it could be a quick exit even with the potential playoff heroics of Steph Curry and Jimmy Butler accounted for.


#7 FJUB (10-8)

ODE: 7/8/9

Trolled by an outside source that assured owner Eric he was out of the 2024 playoffs, FJUB had already turned their attentions toward future when they found out they had back-doored their way to yet another playoff appearance. That’s fourteen out of fifteen appearances btw! Despite wanting to turn a page to the next generation of FJUB, this franchise just can’t help winning! Having already moved for Trae Young earlier this season, FJUB traded for Karl-Anthony Towns right before the postseason started, cementing their foundation for next year but having passed up contention this season—Young was out.

With an up-and-down regular season that featured five wins against teams with 0.500+ records, FJUB was hard to pin down. This version of FJUB was less defensive focused but they were still top-five in BLK, STL, and AST—along with 3PT and FT%, while lacking in PTS, REB, and FG%. However, all of those numbers had to change with so much of the roster shifted over. Heading into the postseason with Young out (and KAT now that we see the future), it’l be tough for FJUB to make an impact in this playoffs after last season's surprise Finals run but maybe they’ll still have enough to play spoiler for a round or two. [Editor: Sorry Eric, congrats on making the playoffs again!]


#8 SQSQ (10-8)

ODE: 12/6/3

It’s been a roller coaster tale lately for SQSQ, and this year’s version is in the playoffs after a 7-13 season in 2023. We love to see teams compete and like that SQSQ gave it their all to return to the title chase. With a roster full of super-vets like LeBron James, DeMar DeRozan, Bojan Bogdanovich, Jrue Holiday, and Mike Conley, it was the clear choice. Having already pulled of the mega of all mega-trades in exchanging Giannis Antetokounmpo for Anthony Davis pre-draft, karma gave Davis (and LeBron) a full year of health.

It took awhile for this team to gel however, as SQSQ was middling throughout most of the regular season before roaring to life with a 4-2 record down the stretch, highlighted by a WK13 upset against KSKT that likely secured them the playoff bid.

SQSQ is the rare playoff team that is winning through defense—we’ll call that the Davis effect—but their lack of PTS and 3PT can likely only carry them so far this postseason. If they could upset top-seeded SCRM though, wow! Also, are these the real-life Lakers with the exact same strengths and weaknesses? Additionally, it’s unfortunate that 2024 RD1.2 Scoot Henderson has suffered a disappointing second-year, but this playoff team could be the bright spot that takes the pressure off Scoot for a better sophomore campaign.

Toilet Bowl Teams: 2024

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There were two teams in the Toilet Bowl with 0.500+ records this year, which happens from time to time. With a shortened eighteen game regular season schedule, and two bottom teams that went 1-35 combined, there were some wonky W-L records! [ Playoff Teams 2024 | One-Third Power Rankings 2024 ]

#9 SWMP (10-8)

ODE: 9/5/5

For a team that was always in the championship picture during 2019-2022, the last two years have been weird, seeing as this fully stacked roster has fallen a little step behind recent title favorites. Seeing SWMP in the Toilet Bowl is a total shock though, as they haven’t been here since 2017-2018, when they had 10-9 and 12-7-2 winning records and were so dominant in the TB that we had to create the “SWMP Rule” for them. Now SWMP are in the position of testing out that exact rule, as they are clearly a step above the rest of the teams in the Toilet Bowl but will be ineligible for the 2025 RD1.1 or RD1.2 picks. Sources say that a hard partying All-Star weekend had coach Eddie mismanage his games that week, likely leading to this TB appearance.

The wheels were already coming off a 9-3 start by All-Star weekend already though, as SWMP enters the postseason on a five-game losing streak. However, on paper, SWMP actually has the third-best combined ODE in the league, as they are very strong in REB, PTS, FG%, and AST. Another big aftermath of All-Star weekend was the trade that brought in Jalen Williams, Jalen Johnson, and rookie Keyonte George—at the cost of Alperen Sengun. Despite some injuries across the board, SWMP should still be able to ride a healthy Nikola Jokic and Paul George to a high draft pick next season, as they dip their toe back into the smelly toilet bowl waters after five years away. Remember the stench?


#10 SBUK (10-8)

ODE: 13/7/1

Another team that really has no business not being in the playoffs, SBUK is on a run of four very good regular seasons, but due to a weird “rich versus poor” regular season, a glut of 10-8 teams resulted in a shake out that left SBUK on the outside looking in. Despite a 5-2 start to the season, SBUK hit a four-game snag in mid-January before righting the ship late with two gimme wins versus UFOS and TRUO to end the year on a slight upswing. Now this former champ has a shot at the 2025 RD1.3 pick, if they can win the Toilet Bowl. Adding another top prospect might just be the jolt SBUK needs to vault back into regular season domination.

Already, the SBUK roster is nicely balanced between youth and veterans, with a positional overlap solved mid-2024 draft by acquired Desmond Bane for Jalen Brunson. Mostly, SBUK’s late season stumble was caused by the injury to Joel Embiid and Bane, which cratered this team’s offense. Without those two, the bulk of the scoring was left to Kyrie Irving and despite a resurgent year from defensive anchor Rudy Gobert, the missing Embiid was likely too much to overcome on both sides of the ball. Still, the talent is definitely here to win a Toilet Bowl, which would be SBUK’s first.


#11 CHMK (8-9-1)

ODE: 11/4/13

Showcasing their scouting department, CHMK cashed in on two year’s worth of superior drafts and free agent pickups to emerge with a core that now features Anthony Edwards, Jamal Murray, Bam Adebayo, Evan Mobley, Alperen Sengun, and rookie Amen Thompson. Back-to-back Toilet Bowl wins didn’t hurt either, although we’d contend that neither of those high picks—2024 RD1.3 Thompson and 2023 RD1.1 Jabari Smith Jr. will be the best players in their respective classes. However, going all-in on “Jalens” yielded great results and GM Evan had enough talent to pull off three separate three-for-ones in 2024, yielding Murray, Edwards, and Sengun. That’s general manager of the year material!

After starting off 5-2, CHMK hit a bad patch and then really slipped, as they went 1-5 to end the season versus a tough schedule. However, with no losses against sub-0.500 teams, a high pick is all but assured for CHMK. Ostensibly a defense-focused team, we don’t really know how to evaluate CHMK’s actual Toilet Bowl chances as they were stripped down to the studs and now Mobley is injured. Still, it might not take much for CHMK to sneak another porcelain crown this year—ironically the one season they would be eligible for a top-two pick in next year’s draft. If they should three-peat in the Toilet Bowl, we might have to make a “CHMK Rule,” right?


#12 FUNK (8-9-1)

ODE: 8/12/4

After six straight seasons in the playoffs, FUNK found themselves starting off okay before a winless month left them out of the playoff picture. Picking up some wins late was small consolation for a lost season. It wasn’t even much about injuries either, as only OG Anunoby missed any major time. The all-wing keeper core featuring Jayson Tatum, Trey Murphy III, and PJ Washington was mostly a disaster and former franchise point guard Trae Young was traded mid-season to acquire a starting center.

At least FUNK’s 2024 draft yielded Tyus Jones and Ivica Zubac, who were much-needed all season long, along with FAAB pickup Malik Monk. For a team that used to boast Tatum, Young, and Karl-Anthony Towns, the premiere talent has really washed away without much playoff success to show for it. This 2024 version of FUNK was middling in just about every category, aside from jacking up a lot of threes, albeit at a not great FG%. The core of the playoff run was built through back-to-back 2015-2016 Toilet Bowl wins—resulting in Towns and Ben Simmons—so maybe FUNK can fire up their winning ways again with a high draft pick next year.


#13 MELO (5-13)

ODE: 10/13/10

Through four regular seasons in Slam, MELO has put up a 29-45 regular season record, with one playoff showing from their rookie year. The good news is, 2024 was the year MELO really got that Games Played down, and their GP was excellent, as Coach Jack didn’t rack up one lineup violation! That alone is cause for celebration, even as MELO is still looking to build out its roster and get onto steady footing.

A nine-game winning streak in this weird season wasn’t even all that bad, relatively, and MELO did finish the year with three wins in five tries, and they have a shooter’s chance of securing a top-two draft pick next year. Kevin Durant and Jaylen Brown are great mentors for 2024 RD1.4 Brandon Miller, who is proving that he’s the best non-Wemby 2024 rookie around and has tremendous outside. Unafraid to make roster changes—they exchanged Lauri Markannen for Pascal Siakam pre-draft—MELO will look to keep stacking additional talent while working their way toward sustained respectability. Game on my friend!


#14 TRUO (5-13)

ODE: 13/15/14

We have been anticipating TRUO’s long anticipated return to regular season relevance, but another five-win season will make that five straight years with less than five wins each. This year, TRUO strung together losing streaks of four and six, the last one to end the year. So despite some early season excitement, TRUO is still sloshing around in the shallow end. 

On the bright side, 2024 RD1.6 Ausar Thompson had a great rookie season while De’Aaron Fox, Jalen Green, and Cam Thomas are all great bucket-getters. Frontcourt stalwart Julius Randle is hurt to end the year, but his numbers are always impressive. TRUO does really need some top end talent though, so a good Toilet Bowl run would be huge. Having their pick of a prime lottery talent could be the push TRUO is looking for.

Also, our king of moves, GM Thien has a streaming style that has unearthed great pieces like late season find Vasilijie Micic, but also caused TRUO to eject too early on the likes of rookie RD3.2 Keyonte George and RD5.2 Coby White—both of which could’ve been valuable keepers. Can we say which method is better? As always however, we respect the hustle!


#15 UFOS (1-17)

ODE: 16/14/1

Cousin Victor’s first foray into fantasy basketball was rough, as managing all facets of a premiere sports franchise can really have a steep learning curve. Salary caps, uniform designs, concessions, local bylaws, new arena headaches, figuring out interstellar exchange rates, it’s all very difficult! All of that resulted in six lineup violations for UFOS this season, with most of the first half of the year lost to coaching mix ups. Stat: UFOS averaged 21.5 games per week, while league leader SCRM had 25.8 games per week.

However, UFOS did not finish last, as they sandwiched a win versus ABCX in WK11 in-between losing streaks on either side. And they weren’t dead last in combined ODE either, as they had a fourteen-rated defense, with an almost-average BLK and FG% ranking, showcasing their strong frontline of Jarrett Allen, Nic Claxton, and Onyeka Okongwu. With Damian Lillard and Jordan Poole firing away, plus youngsters like Jabari Smith Jr., Deni Avdija, and Cam Johnson as potential keepers, this team has some talent and will be better served with a full season to evaluate their overall talent. While a Toilet Bowl victory—and an assured top-four pick likely won’t come this season, UFOS have a brighter future than should be expected on paper. Congrats on finished a full season in SlamNation!

Up next: UFOS will use FAAB to pick up more than one player next season—they nabbed Marvin Bagley III for one dollar back in Nov. Baby steps!


#16 ABCX (0-18)

ODE: 15/16/10

We all have our off days, every sports franchise has its down years. We’ll give ABCX the benefit of the doubt here, as their winless season—the worst in Slam history, overtaking Jedi Knight’s 0-18-1 2017 campaign—comes on the heels of a 11-9 season just two years ago. ABCX’s Games Played ranking was awful this year, but traditionally they are more around slightly below average and not in the cellar.

So we’ll just assume owner Oliver wasn’t paying much attention over the back half of the year, as LaMelo Ball has been out since mid-January and in the ABCX starting lineup—along with Bennedict Mathurin who has been out for awhile now too. And aside from a $0 FAAB pickup of Josh Hart in early January, there’s been no free agent activity from ABCX since November. 

We hope Oliver and ABCX is doing well and we’ll look forward to their bounce back season. Frankly, having Ja Morant and LaMelo Ball out would be cause for anyone to take a break. The good news is 2024 RD1.7 Jaden Ivey is finally getting minutes in Detroit and he’ll be the bright spot to remember this disastrous season.

Power Ranking 2024

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Tie-Breakers 
  • 10-8 (1): H2H in a four team pool, FJUB had a 3-1 H2H record against the other three teams
  • 10-8(2): H2H in a three team pool, SQSQ had a 2-1 record against SBUK and SWMP
  • 10-8(3): H2H, SWMP defeated SBUK in WK11
  • 8-9-1: H2H, CHMK defeated FUNK in WK5
  • 5-13: H2H, MELO defeated TRUO in WK4

Monkey Moves

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After back-to-back Toilet Bowl wins, we figured CHMK was headed into the playoffs and wouldn’t see the loser’s bracket for some time. Instead, in a season that will likely require fringe playoff teams to be at least one game above 0.500, the 8-7-1 Monkeys were determined to be mere playoff hopefuls.

So instead of waiting around to see how the regular season would play out, GM Evan went to work and reshaped his roster for the future, dumping half his 2024 keeper core—and all his Jalens—and using his depth to consolidate into two future-Hall of Famers. Maybe.

With two trades, CHMK moved Jalen Brunson, Mikal Bridges, Jalen Williams, Jalen Johnson, rookie Keyonte George, and Jalen Duren in exchange for Anthony Edwards and Alperen Sengun. The new core for CHMK will be Edwards, Jamal Murray, rookie 2024 RD1.3 Amen Thompson (finally showing some signs of life), Sengun, Bam Adebayo, and Evan Mobley.

Murray and Adebayo are the youthful veterans, at twenty-seven years old each, while the rest of this roster is all under twenty-three. Insiders told us that CHMK’s primary goal was the acquire a top-ten player and Edwards will likely fit the bill. Rumors had Adebayo being heavily pursued but with CHMK retaining him, this must be considered a win-win that the defensive stalwart was kept.

The drafting and scouting team for CHMK must be commended here, as they have unearthed gems left and right over the past few seasons. Don’t forget that they also engaged in a three-for-one pre-draft to acquire Jamal Murray—sending off Nic Claxton, Jabari Smith Jr., and Jordan Poole. All in all, that’s nine players for three keepers, and all of those nine were good players! If CHMK can’t make the playoffs next season, something is going on we may need to create some CHMK rule to stop this monkey menace.

Let’s look at how the other teams made out in the deals as well. For SWMP, moving off Sengun was a bit of a surprise. Drafted as a rookie by Eddie back in 2022 (RD1.15), Sengun has slowly matured into baby-Jokic. We thought SWMP’s Houston roots would make Sengun stick around for awhile. However, with a frontcourt that already featured the real Nikola Jokic, perhaps it was time to move on. Getting Jalen Williams as the Paul George heir apparent is pretty great, and Johnson and George have both been very promising this season. (Williams and Johnson are actually both older than Sengun, who is a mere 21.6 years old—Williams is 22.9 while Johnson is 22.2.) This does leave Zach LaVine out in the cold however, and GM Eddie is already shopping him—or Bradley Beal—around. With a very deep roster, this move could also be interpreted as SWMP's push for a title, as they are 10-6 and just outside of the championship favorites.

As for BUFF, moving off their only successful early draft pick of the past five years was similarly surprising. GM Roger has usually skewed toward veterans during their drafts, with their past ten RD1/RD2 picks being: Russell Westbrook, Jordan Clarkson (2024), Collin Sexton, Tobias Harris (2023), Spencer Dinwiddie, Jakob Poeltl (2022), Anthony Edwards, Blake Griffin (2021), De’Andre Hunter, Paul Millsap (2020). Note: Hunter was a rookie at the time. Only one of those players became keepers the following year: Edwards in 2021, who was a steal at RD1.6. The five picks before Edwards was: LaMelo Ball, James Wiseman, Killian Hayes, Tyrese Haliburton, and Deni Avdija. The now 22.5 year old Edwards could have a decade of greatness ahead of him.

However, with a keeper roster that started off with Dinwiddie and Klay Thompson this season, getting a three-for-one made sense for BUFF, even at the cost of Edwards. Brunson and Bridges are both 27.5 and All-Star quality, while Jalen Duren keeps flashing impressive talent. The trade with CHMK adds up to a much better keeper core for BUFF—along with Brandon Ingram, Domantas Sabonis, and Kyle Kuzma. Now likely headed into the playoffs, it’s exciting to see 10-6 BUFF make a push for a longer playoff run, where they haven’t been since 2021.

2024: One-Third Season Power Rankings

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In lieu of a Game of the Week, since we’re at six games done and exactly one-third of the way through the eighteen game regular season, we’ll do a quick spin through each of the teams. Take a look at the newly released ODE numbers too! [ 2024 Pre-Season: Chamberlain | Russell ]

The Favorites

Just like last year, these two teams are on top of the regular season—and leading their respective conferences—and can already start planning for the postseason.

#1 KSKT (6-0)

ODE: Offensive / Defensive / Efficiency

ODE: 1/9/11

Fresh off his first career triple-double in the first round of the In-Season Tournament, Tyrese Haliburton is looking to give KSKT a preview trophy for a possible SlamNation one later this year. Similar to the real-life Pacers, KSKT boasts the number one offense in the league. They've also barely been challenged on their way to an undefeated record—four of their wins have been by 7-2 scores—and their one close call against SWMP in WK4 was won by two three-pointers.

KSKT does have two slight weaknesses, which keep them from an overwhelming combined ODE: they are a mere twelfth in rebounds and fourteenth in free throw percentage. That latter number is mostly due to Zion Williamson’s 66.4 FT% on 7.1 free throws per game. Plus, Zion is only contributing about six rebounds per game, in contrast to Michael Porter Jr.’s outstanding eight. Could KSKT be even better with a trade-off of Williamson? Something for GM Matt to ponder. An early season surprise has been free agent Jalen Suggs’ solid contributions, especially his almost two swipes per game. Once Anfernee Simons returns, KSKT will be even stronger and that much better on offense.

For our best team of 2024 so far, we’re highlighting a two-game stretch of WK10 and WK11 versus SOUR and SCRM to determine if KSKT could perhaps go undefeated this season.

#2 SCRM (5-1)

ODE: 8/1/10

In contrast to our top team, SCRM is our top-ranked defense while leading the league in steals. Similarly to KSKT, SCRM also have two relatively weaker categories: free throw percentage (11th) and three point shooting (14th), but they are top-three dominant in four categories: STL, FG%, REB, and AST.

After an opening week loss and then escaping a near upset by winless ABCX in WK2, SCRM has been getting stronger even as their schedule has got tougher. That ramping success might coincide with acquiring Kawhi Leonard—and Ben Simmons—right after that WK1 loss to SPDE, as GM Jordan is looking for a title immediately and has filled out his roster accordingly.

The return of new-Clipper James Harden to the court has been a boon—6.4 AST, 2.4 3PT, and 1.6 STL—so as long as most of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Leonard stay healthy, this could be the team to beat. Interesting tidbit: Antetokounmpo averages 9.9 FTA per game, at a blistering 65.4 FT%, while his other four co-stars combine for 19.9 FTA, at an average of 88.3 FT%. Can those four help lift this team to free-throw respectability? It's an interesting exercise to pair Giannis with so many great free throw shooters and we like the way it's looking so far.

The Contenders

Any of these next five teams could challenge for the 2024 title, and they are all familiar names at the top of the SlamNation success charts.

#3 SOUR (4-2)

ODE: 4/6/2

As the top-ranked combined ODE team—tied for that honor—returning champs SOUR are a huge threat to repeat. Their two losses this season have come against SPDE and SCRM, and they are only weak in one category: AST. They boast the best PTS and 3PT in Slam, and are top five nearly everywhere else, save BLK and AST.

Steph Curry and Jimmy Butler pace the team while third-year breakout Scottie Barnes has been an all-around dynamo and defensive presence. Seriously, Barnes has become a 19.6 PTS, 9.1 REB, 5.5 REB, with defense and efficiency, making him the prodigal son as he re-enters SOUR's roster after being drafted by Trieu 2022 RD1.5. A little seasoning on TRUO's roster was all Barnes needed to overcome an underwhelming sophomore year I guess! In fact, all of GM Trieu’s offseason moves have seemed to work out beautifully, and even with Lauri Markkanen on the mend—his absence has been offset by the return to action of Miles Bridges—this team is gonna be a hard to take down. To be the king you gotta beat the king, and Snails will rule SlamNation till they are dethroned!

Seriousy, we're very scared by SOUR, even if they aren't one of the technical favorites right now.

#4 SPDE (4-2)

ODE: 3/3/6

Tied with SOUR for best combined ODE, SPDE is leaping into the championship conversation this season, or perhaps, reaching up higher with their newly expanded wingspans? After three losing seasons, it’s safe to say SPDE is back to their traditional winning ways.

Even with Devin Booker, Tyler Herro, and new trade addition Walker Kessler coming on and off the injury list, SPDE has been picking up wins left and right. Their only big loss this season was to ILCN in WK6, but the’ve been dominant otherwise.

The ascension of Tyrese Maxey is a huge reason for SPDE’s early success, but we don’t want to overlook the solid contributions Tobias Harris, Saddiq Bey (51.2 FG%), Gordon Hayward, Dennis Schroder, and Bogdan Bogdanovic have made as role players. All this, plus the additions of rookies Victor Wembanyama and Chet Holmgren, who have both been better than advertised—minus Wemby’s shooting percentage woes.

The only dark cloud on the horizon for SPDE is possibly the situation with Josh Giddey (42.7 FG%) but we’ll see how that turns out. SPDE can only get stronger as they get healthier, so if anyone wants to take down this deep and talented team, they better hope to get lucky with the injury report. Two matchups versus SWMP, plus a face-off with KSKT in WK14 are all that could challenge SPDE for the rest of the regular season.

#5 SWMP (4-2)

ODE: 7/4/3

Once a perennial title favorite, SWMP has slipped to a tier below “DominAyton” the past two seasons. This year they are dealing with the non-existence of offseason trade acquisition Bradley Beal, and the apathetic play of Zach LaVine holding them ever so slightly back.

However, SWMP is still very very good, and top-two in REB, FG%, and STL, behind a very strong front line duo of Nikola Jokic and Alperen Sengun—the two centers lead this team in assists! Add in the double-double contributions of Deandre Ayton and all that’s needed for this team is to get their shooters back in action.

If Paul George should sit out for his customary missed games, SWMP could be in a bit of trouble until LaVine and Beal can steady out. As it stands, SWMP is below average in three pointers—and blocks, but that’ll likely stay a weakness as nobody averages even one block per game on this roster. Despite a surprising WK6 loss to FUNK, SWMP is in position to only get stronger as the season progresses.

#6 SBUK (4-2)

ODE: 12/4/3

Aside from a WK1 loss to SOUR, SBUK has only suffered a close-ish loss to SCRM, which bodes well for their playoff chances. They are strong defensively and have good efficiency—minus some fluctuating FG% issues—but they do seem to have one glaring area of need: better offense.

SBUK is average or below average in PTS, 3PT, and AST—especially the latter where they are third-to-last in the league. Last season’s version of SBUK didn’t have this problem and GM Josh’s 2024 draft was pretty offense-heavy so maybe this team just needs time to gel. (The early season injuries to CJ McCollum probably has a little to do with it too.)

The stable of shooters on SBUK—buttressed by mid-draft trade addition Desmond Bane—should be enough to lift this offense so it’s likely just wait and see. The good news is that defending NBA MVP Joel Embiid has been even better than last year—even adding 6.6 AST to boot—while the free-agent addition of Heat rookie Jaime Jaquez Jr. may contend for waiver wire pickup of the season. There’s only three more matchups against winning teams this season for SBUK so their fans can likely start blocking off vacation days for playoff season already.

#7 CHMK (4-2)

ODE: 11/8/9

“These statistics are not the intended outcome of my roster construction strategy.” Haha! CHKM is indeed just about average in most of their category ranks—and slightly below in combined ODE—but wins and losses don’t lie and they are riding a three-game win streak at the moment. They do face a very tough schedule going forward, featuring six matchups against teams ranked above them in this power ranking—including two versus SCRM—so it’ll be a battle ahead for our co-Games Played leader.

CHMK is up to the challenge however, as they are pretty sturdy across the board, and only rank second-to-last in three pointers—which is partially offset by their sterling FG%. A boost in steals and blocks wouldn’t hurt either, and a lot of that could be solved by a healthier Bam Adebayo.

2024 RD1.10 center Jalen Duren has been a revelation but the RD1.3 selection of rookie Amen Thompson has so far not paid many dividends. (A quick drop of RD3.10 Jeremy Sochan might have been a tad too hasty as well.) The good news is that GM Evan hit big on Jalen Johnson, making the all-Jalen draft strategy a strong three-for-three for CHMK. Another rookie pick, Bilal Coulibaly, is already almost a 1/1/1 guy as well.

Actually, with the mid-draft trade for Jalen Brunson—which cost Desmond Bane—Evan is four-for-four for acquiring successful NBA Jalens! The healthy return of another 2024 trade acquisition, Jamal Murray, should give CHMK the juice they need to make the playoffs again after back-to-back Toilet Bowl wins. Key takeaway: “Jalens” are good!

The Bubble Teams

These three teams—really two—could move their way up into the playoffs, or tumble back down the standings given a bad turn of events. But being mid-tier may be a great time to seek some trades!

#8 FJUB (3-3)

ODE: 9/9/3

We’ll give the benefit of the doubt to FJUB here: they’ll be a playoff team this year, just like the past nine seasons. However, their uninspiring start, with wins against three sub-0.500 teams, does have management questioning if changes should be considered.

Traditionally a defense-focused team, FJUB is actually slightly better on offense this season as opposed to last, while their vaunted defense has slipped even as their efficiency has improved overall despite a third-to-last FG%. What this team is really lacking in is STL—they were never a good REB team, dating back to last season. After ranking second in steals last year, FJUB has slipped back to the pack in 2024. It’s been Herb Jones (1.8 STL), and well, Herb Jones. Fred VanVleet dropped from 1.8 STL last season to 0.7 this year, and losing Chris Paul (1.5) and Killian Hayes (1.4) hurt the volume of thefts as well.

Rookie free-agent Cason Wallace has been a NBA defensive menace, but his steals numbers don’t reflect that. And offseason trade acquisition Jerami Grant’s stud defensive days are mostly behind him—he’s been great at putting up points though. FJUB has to decide if they’ll return to the defensive identity that has given them so much success, or if they’ll look to make some philosophical transitions.

If FJUB can steal a WK7 win against undefeated KSKT in a shortened In-Season Tournament week, they’ll have five more matchups against current 0.500+ teams left. Going chalk would likely still leave them a game or two above 0.500, giving them a low playoff seed. That’s the worst case scenario. If GM Eric has big moves ahead though, the ceiling for FJUB could get much higher!

#9 BUFF (3-3)

ODE: 2/13/14

An example of an entirely one-sided team, BUFF has pushed their good offense from last year into a great one this year, taking their PTS, 3PT, and AST to higher levels this season. It’s been with much the same roster too, subbing in Jordan Clarkson for Collin Sexton and Harrison Barnes for Tobias Harris. Anthony Edwards and Brandon Ingram are the offensive cornerstones here, with Kyle Kuzma doing an almost better than Ingram Ingram-impression.

However, BUFF have no rim protection, aren’t great at cleaning the glass, and only get a league average amount of steals. Combine that with middling percentages and BUFF is rightly about a 0.500 team—which would be an improvement over last year’s mere seven total wins. So this team is on-track for a possible second playoff berth in their last ten years, and that would be considered a success.

But here’s where BUFF’s fans cry…. “Will Roger regret passing up on rookie Ausar Thompson or someone with more upside like Jaden Ivey and Onyeka Okongwu?” Yes, yes! Instead of drafting Russell Westbrook at 2024 RD1.5, BUFF could of had rookie Amen Thompson—taken one pick after—whose outstanding all-around game would have filled many of this team’s glaring needs. Thompson’s 9.1 REB and 2.5 combined STL/BLK is exactly what the doctor would’ve ordered to take BUFF up past the level of a bubble team.

In BUFF’s defense, few predicted that Ausar would be the good twin, and debuted with those eye-popping numbers, but sometimes gambling is necessary when you’ve struggled to maintain respectability. Westbrook has been okay this season, but he is thirty-five years old and Thompson would have assured a brighter future for BUFF. Regrets, regrets!

#10 FUNK (3-3)

ODE: 6/12/13

A middling team that has mostly been inconsistent, FUNK has picked up two of their wins versus 0.500+ teams while suffering losses to presumed weaker squads. With exactly nine of eighteen matchups against current 0.500+ teams, FUNK is going to be hard pressed to return to the playoffs after six straight showings.

Basically a lower-voltage version of BUFF, FUNK is similarly also all offense and not much else. While they have increased their 3PT production this season—to top-two in the league—it has come at the cost of their already bad FG% and more concerningly, overall PTS, as they are ranked fifteenth and twelfth in those categories respectively.

There’s been a gaping hole at center all season long—with Kelly Olynyk completely whiffing this season—and Ivica Zubac has often been played off the court. This aspirational five-out team has mostly been just firing and missing. Defensive stalwart OG Anunoby has been a disappointment overall and unless the recent return of Trey Murphy III can somehow magically make up for defense and rebounding issues—not his strong suit—FUNK is much closer to the Toilet Bowl than to the playoffs despite their 0.500 record, which only came about due to a surprise WK6 victory over SWMP.

The Make or Break Tier

These four teams are headed the wrong way already and most are lacking in overall talent—with one exception—or suffering from lack of health.

#11 ILCN (2-4)

ODE: 5/2/16

After years of collecting talent, GM Frank went for a more “win-now” approach after last season’s 13-7 showing. Surprise, this team is now floundering—and suffered a four game losing streak recently! A lot of it is health related, as Darius Garland, Donovan Mitchell, Khris Middleton, and Jaden McDaniels have both bounced back and forth in the lineup due to injuries.

This team is still uber-talented, with Shaedon Sharpe getting far more minutes than expected on a depleted Blazers team, and the 2024 draft also unearthed RD3.13 Mitchell Robinson and RD4.4 rookie Dereck Lively III, both of whom have picked up the slack for Jaren Jackson Jr.’s slight regression in BLK and decreased FG% due to an increased offensive role.

Other than all that, things still look swimmingly on paper for ILCN, as Luka Doncic and Co. should be better than this. Despite basically punting FT% and TOS, they are above average in most of the other categories and elite in PTS and STL. When everything clicks, ILCN is still capable of beating any team, as evidenced by a WK6 7-2 win over SPDE.

With two more matchups against undefeated KSKT coming up, as well as three more against 0.500+ teams, ILCN will have a chance to show that they’re better than their record—perhaps much better—and could easily elevate themselves back into the playoff picture.

#12 SQSQ (2-4)

ODE: 14/7/8

The good news is that SQSQ is better than last season, as least by combined ODE, the bad news is that they’re still kind of bad, which could possibly get worse in a post-Giannis Antetokounmpo world if either LeBron James or Anthony Davis start taking a seat. The return of a healthy Bojan Bogdanovic—not to mention DeMar DeRozan—is much needed, as this team is severely lacking in PTS and 3PT. Their two wins have come against ABCX and ILCN this season, and a lot of difficult matchups lie ahead.

There are silver linings to focus on for SQSQ, namely the high FG% and the very high BLK numbers, as Daniel Gafford (2.1 BLK) is contributing a lot there. But that might be it for early season superlatives. Does SQSQ take a look at this team before the trade deadline and look to ship off The King and/or The Brow? Or can this veteran-heavy group regain some semblance of competitive spirit?

The pressing issue for the future is that 2024 RD1.2 Scoot Henderson has been a major disappointment so far in his rookie campaign. He’ll automatically get Tari Eason’s keeper slot next season, but Henderson’s actually been even worse than the similarly disappointing Eason. There’s no young star to rebuild around yet so SQSQ’s best bet might to take this group for a deep Toilet Bowl run and emerge with a high draft pick—just like last year.

#13 TRUO (2-4)

ODE: 10/11/14

The this-week dubbed “Sweet Splash” hasn’t been so sweet to start the year. While we love the name, perhaps being sour is better? The goal for TRUO remains to make an impact in the Toilet Bowl, even as their roster is constantly shifting. This year’s version has a lot of promise however, and we’re actually quite high on TRUO’s future.

Offseason trade acquisition De’Aaron Fox—returning to this roster once again—has been a revelation as he’s pushed his game to even greater heights. And nobody could’ve predicted 2024 RD4.15 Cam Thomas to start scoring at a 26.1 ppg clip, a number that seems outrageous but is proving to be sustainable. And then there’s RD1.6 Ausar Thompson, the jewel of the Thompson family, who has exhibited young-Westbrook energy and statistics. That’s quite the trio!

There is a void in the middle though, with all three rostered centers on injured reserve—Wendell Carter Jr., Steven Adams, and Brandon Clarke so it’s impressive that Thompson and Julius Randle have taken this team to a league average REB ranking. In fact, TRUO is about league average in 3PT and AST as well. Their main problem is a lack of shooting efficiency, as they are quite awful in both percentages—without good PTS to show for it—which leaves them playing from a 0-2 deficit every matchup.

If TRUO can even out one of those percentages, they could make some noise in their likely Toilet Bowl appearance. With a league-leading seven matchups left to go against 0.500+ teams, Coach Thien is up against the toughest rest of the regular season schedule. Good luck, we’ll be cheering for you!

#14 MELO (2-4)

ODE: 13/13/12

We’re overwhelmed by MELO’s new coaching hire this season, as whoever the new person in charge has been putting in fantastic Games Played this season. Great work! Unfortunately, getting all those games in have left MELO at the bottom of the combined ODE rankings, as they are slightly below average in every category, with a bottom-four ranking in STL. However, combined ODE can sometimes lie, and being average across eight of nine categories is actually not a bad thing. Despite not taking a win off a 0.500 team (yet?), MELO is likely just a bit underpowered so far this season.

Kevin Durant is doing all he can to keep MELO afloat, as statistical regression has hit just about everyone else on the roster from Jaylen Brown to newly acquired Pascal Siakam, and on to Nikola Vucevic and RJ Barrett. Plus, the less said about the insipid play of Andrew Wiggins better.

There is one giant bright spot on MELO for this season, the promising play from 2024 RD1.4 Brandon Miller, who has outperformed just about everyone in his draft class aside from Victor Wembanyama and arguably Ausar Thompson. Miller is looking like a smooth all-around talent who should evolve quickly. As for MELO, it’ll just be a season waiting for the other veterans to pull their weight alongside Durant.

The Bottom Dwellers

These two teamss are winless and assured of a Toilet Bowl appearance, barring a miracle. Let’s see what they can do to improve to give them a fighting chance in the consolation tournament.

#15 UFOS (0-6)

ODE: 16/16/1

Last on offense and last on defense, but first in efficiency! That doesn’t pretend well for our rookie owner’s win-loss hopes, but in their inaugural Slam season, it’ll just be a proving ground and setup for future years. For now, the task at hand will be to pick up that Games Played mark, which is at 121 versus the league-wide average of 145 GP, meaning UFOS have played basically one less week of games than just about everyone else.

Assuming that all gets squared away, what’re we cooking with at UFOS laboratory? Every single player on this roster has upside potential—minus Damian Lillard, of course—so it’s just a matter of figuring out which ones will be worth keeping for next season. The in-dispersal trade trio of Jordan Poole (39.1 FG%), Jabari Smith Jr. (13.3 PTS), and Nic Claxton have all been okay. A bit underwhelming all around with only Claxton really returning previous season value with his 2.6 BLK—and probably single-handedly taking UFOS out off the cellar in at least one category.

There are a whole lot of role player types on this team, so it’s possible UFOS could play deal maker and send out pieces to contending teams while taking draft picks and more upside talent back. Who couldn’t use scorers like Cameron Johnson, Cole Anthony, or Gary Trent Jr. for a playoff push? Or maybe one of Jarrett Allen or Onyeka Okongwu might be available for the right price? And of course there’s the biggest trade chip of all, Lillard, who is ill-cast on this team and likely needs to be moved.

UFOS will have to one, fix their Games Played issue, and two, do some internal evaluation to see which six might be likely moving on to next season. Fun times ahead, especially in a WK11 matchup versus fellow undefeated ABCX, which could be a heavyweight matchup for first win of the season!

Note: “It won’t take much for UFOS to do better than the losingest owner of SlamNation history, and we’re guessing they can pull off at least four wins to surpass FOBS’ last two seasons.” Um, four wins for this squad is not looking very likely, especially in a shorter eighteen week regular season.

#16 ABCX (0-6)

ODE: 15/15/6

We ranked teams within each tier by combined ODE, making ABCX the last -ranked team, despite a seniority advantage on UFOS. As the only other team not within spitting distance of the average Games Played so far this young season—ABCX has 135 GP—that is a slight factor, but when you’re second-to-last in PTS, AST, STL, and BLK, while being not very good at REB and FG% as well, that’s not just Games Played issues.

After stumbling out of the gate with a 0-9 loss to ILCN in WK1, and then coming within twenty-something-ish PTS of taking down SCRM in WK2, it’s all been downhill for ABCX ever since. LaMelo Ball’s slow start, combined with the absence of Ja Morant, had likely preordained ABCX to the cellar early. Add in a punishing schedule that had ABCX facing four current playoff teams in their first seven weeks—with four more 0.500+ matchups to follow—and ABCX can lay claim to the hardest schedule in SlamNation.

So, can Morant’s return boost ABCX to some wins? Matching last season’s six wins is going to be a Herculean task and would require quite the run—especially with Ball on the mend. Not that there’s not an outside chance of that run happening, as Tim Hardaway Jr., Kelly Oubre Jr., and Malcolm Brogdon are all scoring more than expected. (And in theory 2024 RD1.7 Jaden Ivey will stop getting buried in Detroit.) If Morant and Ball can get back in time, there could be an offensive powerhouse ready to go here.

The defense and efficiency are unlikely to get better—RIP Robert Williams III, as the oft-injured big man’s fantasy career remains mostly a tease—but when you’re gunning for a handful of wins and hopefully a deeper Toilet Bowl run, being good at just a few things might be enough.

2024 Pre-Season: Chamberlain

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Our team previews will incorporate some keeper takes, as we had so much movement pre-draft that we better soak it all in as one big article! And we'll start with the Chamberlain Conference! [ 2023 Midseason: Top Eight | Bottom Eight ]

TeamID - Abbrev - Name (2023 Record, 2022 Record)

#9 SQSQ Squirtle Squad (7-13, 15-5)

Something is wrong in Squirtleland. Despite three playoff appearances, two conference finals, and two most regulars season wins titles in 2020 and 2022, last season’s seven-win campaign signaled a need for some massive changes. The duo of Giannis Antetokounmpo and LeBron James were fearsome, but had perhaps run their full course. Three years after going all in post-LeBron trade, SQSQ had still not gotten even one playoff victory. Something had to change…

And that “something” was huge, as SQSQ management shipped off Antetokounmpo in a deal that shook the Slam world. Instead of re-contending alongside Antetokounmpo, Brian decided to do it with the thirty-nine year old James as the focal point, taking in Anthony Davis and DeMar DeRozan as the prizes from the Antetokounmpo trade. Previous keepers Caris LeVert, Jusuf Nurkic, and Jonathan Kuminga were tossed aside as well, in order to keeper an all-super vet squad of LeBron James (38.8), Bojan Bogdanovic (34.5), DeMar DeRozan (34.2), Jrue Holiday (33.3), and Anthony Davis (30.6). Those numbers are their ages by the way, not points per game, or minutes per game. The only young keeper is Tari Eason (22.4) who was SQSQ’s 2023 RD2.1 pick.

That’s a win-now squad if we ever saw one! Interestingly, SQSQ also had this year’s RD1.2 pick, future superstar Scoot Henderson, who will now be the pilot for this contender. Are we intrigued? Yes we are!  The rest of the 2024 draft brought in Buddy Hield, Daniel Gafford, Mike Conley, Isaiah Stewart, and Julian Champagnie. Assuming some of the vets will be hard pressed to play sixty-plus games, the depth of this team will be tested through the regular season. Will this be enough to get SQSQ past that crucial first round? We’d like to bet it is, as taking a huge gamble by trading away Antetokounmpo should be rewarded karmically.

#10 ABCX Another Bad Creation (6-14, 11-9)

We thought ABCX had turned the ship around in 2022 with a winning season after three down years in a row, but 2023 put ABCX right back into the bottom of the league. Losing Ja Morant near the back of the season didn’t help, but the team’s problems weren’t only with Morant’s availability, as LaMelo Ball only managed to play thirty-six games last year. The most exciting backcourt in Slam can’t power ABCX if they are sitting on the sidelines can they?

The one bright spot for the team was rookie Bennedict Mathurin (2023 RD1.13), who was a nice find, but this roster needs additional help. Aside from Morant, Ball, and Mathurin, low wattage but productive players like Kelly Oubre Jr., Jonas Valanciunas, and new keeper Bobby Portis are all statistically better than you’d expect. However, they won’t be able to shine without stars to play alongside. That’s why we really like the upside of Jaden Ivey, selected 2024 RD1.7 by Oliver, who exhibited plenty of upside during his rookie season.

The sheen has been wiped off from both Robert Williams III and Christian Wood, but both have their statistical uses, assuming health and opportunity. The rest of ABCX’s draft was also value driven, with Malcolm Brogdon, Norman Powell, and Tim Hardaway Jr. joining the fold. Can Ball return to lead this team to playoff contention—especially with Morant gone for twenty-five games—or will ABCX have another tread water season? 

#11 BUFF Buffy (7-13, 10-9-1)

Another Chamberlain team that has seen better days, BUFF has had a tough time escaping the lower echelons of Slam over the past few seasons. Actually they’ve only had one playoff appearance in the past ten seasons, so it might be more accurate to say that BUFF is having a bad decade. Last year was another losing campaign, as BUFF can’t seem to put together two good seasons in a row. There are some bright spots here though!

Potential All-Pro Anthony Edwards (2021 RD1.6) is still ascending, and there’s a nice trio of Edwards, Brandon Ingram, and Domantas Sabonis to create a solid core for this franchise. Kyle Kuzma found his niche in Washington and Klay Thompson is still an okay holdover, fantasy-wise. New keeper Spencer Dinwiddie is a serviceable point guard, so this roster should all set for their top six.

Taking Russell Westbrook with the fifth pick in this year’s draft (2023 RD1.5) was quite the surprise, as Westbrook is old and brings a lot of minuses along with few pluses. Will Roger regret passing up on rookie Ausar Thompson or someone with more upside like Jaden Ivey and Onyeka Okongwu? Time will tell. Staying on-brand by taking more vets, BUFF drafted Jordan Clarkson, Jusuf Nurkic, Harrison Barnes, and Al Horford—who are exactly what they are. The only young-ish player they took was Luguentz Dort in the last round, but his upside is capped by playing time as well.

Overall, the ceiling for BUFF seems to be capped by some of the roster, and aside from Edwards vaulting up another level, and the continued excellence of Sabonis, it’ll be looking like another 0.500ish year from BUFF. Even that could be an improvement…

#12 SOUR Sour Snails (14-6, 12-8)

Our defending champs had a two-year lull in 2020-21 but are now right back up on top. The shocking thing about SOUR’s most recent championship was how dark horse-y it was, as they weren’t the favorites heading into last year’s postseason. They had to navigate their way to the top, and they did it with aplomb. With eight total titles under their belt, SOUR put forth an even greater challenge for themselves in the offseason: revamp!

While we’re used to the free wheeling ways of GM Trieu, I don’t think anyone excited the whirlwind of trades that transformed SOUR’s keeper roster, retaining only Steph Curry from 2023’s championship squad. (Technically Jimmy Butler was on the 2023 team, but he was also almost traded, and was a “new” keeper for 2024.) Out the door went De’Aaron Fox, Pascal Siakam, Jerami Grant, and Slam Finals hero Austin Reaves. The new-look SOUR will feature Curry and Butler alongside Lauri Markkanen, Scottie Barnes, Keldon Johnson, and Mark Williams. Is that a repeat worthy roster? We have no idea! But we’re sure this won’t be the final SOUR team that heads into the playoffs, as Trieu is sure to deal some more.

For the draft, SOUR took a gamble on the troubled Miles Bridges in round one but that may already be a waste of a pick as he’s right back on suspension. Then SOUR took firebrand Immanuel Quickley, and went for upside with Jonathan Kuminga and rookie Cam Whitmore. Grayson Allen was brought in for a touch of shooting, while last pick Killian Hayes offers some intriguing value as Mr. Irrelevant. As SOUR is proving, rosters don’t seem to matter much, because winners win, and Trieu will be looking to repeat (again).

#13 SBUK So Buckets (12-8, 13-6-1)

Our 2022 champions may have faltered in their repeat bid, but with another solid season to follow up their title run, SBUK could easily be looking at a third Finals appearance in four seasons if 2024 shakes out right. Their keeper core remained as solid as ever, as there was no turnover from the six-pack of Joel Embiid, Kyrie Irving, Rudy Gobert, CJ McCollum, Jalen Brunson, and Franz Wagner.

An in-draft trade off of Brunson for Desmond Bane was intriguing, as that puts a lot of pressure on Irving to be the lead guard here, and we know how dangerous that can be.

However, should Irving decide not to basketball for a few months, Collin Sexton (RD3.9) and TJ McConnell (RD5.9) could be decent plug-ins. SBUK had a very nice fill-the-holes draft actually, with John Collins and Kevin Huerter both slotting into starting positions and two rookies everyone is excited about in Jazz’s Taylor Hendricks and sharp-shooter Gradey Dick. Long a franchise full of stability and reliability, SBUK does have the reigning MVP in Embiid, as well as a roster that is well balanced and ready to contend once again.

#14 SPDE Spade (7-13, 4-16)

With six playoff appearances and one Finals run in their first seven seasons, SPDE was perennially a contender until 2021, when their injury-plagued roster aged beyond the point of no return and SPDE suffered a 14-42 record between 2021-23.

However, as they were stacking up losses, SPDE was also stacking talent. The 2022 draft brought in Josh Giddey (2022 RD1.8) and Tyrese Maxey (2022 RD4.15). Last year was Chet Holmgren (2023 RD1.2). And with the first overall pick this year, 2024 RD1.1 Victor Wembanyama, SPDE has now assembled a scary roster for their next decade of Slam. Along with Devin Booker, Tyler Herro, and the still there Kawhi Leonard, SPDE is looking to regain their spot at the top of SlamNation. Their long elusive title may not be that far out of reach, especially with two multi-faceted seven-footers on board.

Understanding that their window is opening right now, SPDE took the steady likes of Tobias Harris, Dennis Schroder, and Gordon Hayward for some veteran presence—along with Saddiq Bey for extra Leonard insurance. The RD3.4 selection of Ben Simmons raised some eyebrows, but if Simmons can play, he’ll be in a low pressure environment to succeed, as all eyes will be on Wemby and Chet. While we can’t say that SPDE is going to contend right away, there’s no question this will be the most watched team in Slam this season. Exciting times ahead!

#15 ILCN IL Conceived (13-7, 10-9-1)

The picture perfect version of a team that has slowly climbed the ranks, ILCN has been putting together a gorgeous core while lucking into franchise players—Luka and Paolo fell to them— as well as drafting hit after hit. Since entering SlamNation seven years ago, ILCN has worked their way up from the bottom and could be on the verge of their first title.

The backcourt of Darius Garland, Donovan Mitchell, and Luka Doncic are unparalleled for everything you’d want three guards to do, fantasy-wise. Jaren Jackson Jr. had a breakout season and won Defensive Player of the Year, and while he can admittedly be foul and injury-prone, carries blocks when healthy and active. Last season’s 2023 RD1.3 Paolo Banchero won R.O.Y. and quickly established himself as a potential franchise cornerstone in Orlando. The main offseason question for GM Frank was what to do with his extra keeper-quality assets. At the end of the day, ILCN elected to sell off Bradley Beal and Walker Kessler for future picks, and then keepered the explosive Shaedon Sharpe.

With that enviable core solidified, ILCN’s for-need draft brought in Khris Middleton and Jaden McDaniels to man the small forward spot, and then a foursome of centers in Mitchell Robinson, rookie Dereck Lively II, Naz Reid, and Bol Bol to add defensive backbone alongside Jackson. After finishing last season as a top-four seed, ILCN will be looking to challenge for much more this time around.

#16 SCRM Screamin Eagles (15-4-1, 11-9)

In just three short seasons in Slam, SCRM ascended from an under 0.500 team in 2021 to dominating most of the regular season in 2023. Never afraid to make big deals, GM Jordan started off his career by making an in-dispersal trade for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (and OG Anunoby), and then moved for James Harden and Karl-Anthony Towns last year. This offseason brought SCRM their biggest coup of all: Giannis Antetokounmpo!

With Gilgeous-Alexander elevating himself to MVP-like levels, SCRM revamped the entire keeper core around him, adding Harden, Antetokounmpo, Towns, Jakob Poeltl, and another pre-draft acquisition Walker Kessler, to potentially push themselves to a title. Looking over the roster, there’s an incredible blend of offense and defense, and SCRM’s draft could be perfect to push those strengths even further.

While Chris Paul and Draymond Green are injury-plagued, they add a ton of assists for SCRM. Bogdan Bogdanovic is a sneaky good all-around contributor and NBA Finals hero Bruce Brown is a do-it-all role guy, which is just what SCRM needs. Adding Steven Adams to back up Poeltl and Kessler gives this team no holes. A team with this much firepower and synergy should capture the regular seasons crown—barring injuries—and we’re excited for SCRM to challenge for a championship this season.