Toilet Bowl 2025: Flagg for Funk

What a nail biter for the 2025 Toilet Bowl! Heading into Sunday down a manageable amount of 3PT and REB, FUNK had a full eight man lineup ready to go, but their TOS were pretty close to rising past BUFF’s, and there was some question of Jayson Tatum’s status. After picking up Max Strus and Jaylin Williams for the last day, Strus was subbed in for turnover machine Jordan Clarkson while Williams was never needed as FUNK sweated out a 5-3-1 victory. Owner Jon watched on pins and needles as Tatum and Payton Pritchard used a big second half to push past BUFF for the win. In reality, Devin Vassell was the one that really gave FUNK the Sunday win, as he hit three threes and shot 11/14 FGS, which vaulted FUNK up in FG% to almost catch BUFF.

This was already an uphill battle for BUFF, as they were already down Jalen Brunson, Brandon Ingram, and then Domantas Sabonis out as well. In the end, despite Coby White’s heroics—he averaged 30.3 PTS in his four games this week—and Mikal Bridges’ all around game, BUFF couldn’t pull off the win and will have to settle for the 2026 RD1.2 pick. Overall, it was a great Toilet Bowl for both teams, as FUNK and BUFF defeated higher seeds to get to the TB finals to earn their picks. (Disregard CHMK gifting FUNK a win last week in RD2, it’s just pay back for the decades ago Antoine Walker for Kevin Garnett trade…)

For FUNK, this will be their second RD1.1 selection in a row, following Reed Sheppard last season. It’s likely Cooper Flagg will be the pick next year, which means two White guys in a row... FUNK has actually been in this position before, selecting RD1.1 back to back, as they won the Toilet Bowl back-to-back before, resulting in Ben Simmons and Karl-Anthony Towns. This Toilet Bowl win also ties FUNK with SWMP for the most TB wins in Slam history. Is a FUNK Rule needed?!

Heading into next season, FUNK will have Tatum, Lauri Markkanen, Devin Vassell, Trey Murphy III, Myles Turner, and then a big decision between Collin Sexton and Sheppard to make. But for now, a congrats to Funk Coalition on their third Toilet Bowl victory!

As for BUFF, who was in the Finals just a season ago, adding another young star could insure they don’t see the Toilet Bowl again for a long time. Brunson, Sabonis, Ingram, plus Bridges, White, and a mystery sixth keeper is not a bad bunch at all.

(Full Stats)

Post-Season RD2 Recap and RD3 Matchups: 2025

  👑 Playoffs RD3

3 SCRM vs 8 SOUR

Playoffs RD3 Consolation

2 MELO vs 4 SWMP

5 SPDE vs 7 ILCN

1 SQSQ vs 6 KSKT

🚽 Toilet Bowl RD3

11 FUNK vs 12 BUFF

Toilet Bowl RD3Consolation

9 SBUK vs 10 CHMK

13 FJUB vs 15 TRUO

14 ABCX vs 16 UFOS

Playoff RD2 Recap

Uh oh, SOUR is on a heater! With Miles Bridges leading the way, SOUR wiped the floor with MELO, dashing their postseason hopes. While some of the categories were closer, a 7-2 victory is pretty dominant. Now they’ll make their return to the SlamNation Finals, where the stage is set. This will be SOUR’s ninth Finals appearance, their first since 2023. And despite being the lesser seed, there’s no question they are the favorites. Plus, their track record in Finals is seven wins in eight tries, so their Finals opponent will have their work cut out for them. Triuuuueeee does it again!

As for SCRM, this will be their first Finals, as they dispatched SWMP in a slightly closer game. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander averaged 34.5 PTS and took down SWMP behind SGA’s offense and a strong overall defensive effort. This will be SCRM’s first Finals after joining us in 2021. It’s a bit of a surprise too, as SCRM had more all-in rosters in the past, and actually traded away James Harden midseason. 

This will be a gargantuan week as SOUR would’ve won RD1 vs SCRM 6-3, while SCRM would have turned the tables for their own 6-3 victory in RD2 had they faced SOUR. Now we’ll see who will win this epic 2025 SlamNation Finals!

Over in the consolation games, both SQSQ and KSKT got waxed 1-8, leaving them in the final week matchup as ILCN and SPDE face off for a higher pick in next year’s draft.

Toilet Bowl RD2 Recap

What a doozy over in the Toilet Bowl! FUNK had already conceded by Saturday night to CHMK, with the owners trading “congrats, ggs” and Jon already booking his post-Toilet Bowl vacation. Lo and behold, Sunday brought CHMK’s required five rebounds from Oshae Brissett but then Coach Evan didn’t pull his players and ended up losing the matchup by one turnover! Incredible stuff!

We love the CHMK attitude to play it out and let the fates decide, but perhaps they’ll rue letting FUNK slip through. Either way, this now sets up an actually exciting RD3 because FUNK and BUFF can now play for 2025 RD1.1 and RD1.2, while CHMK and SBUK will duke it out for RD1.3 and RD1.4. Thanks Evan for giving us some drama! (Note: CHMK and SBUK were slotted for those picks anyway, with the SWMP Rule in effect--which we'll revisit this offseason.)

BUFF is on a heater as well, despite having both Jalen Brunson and Brandon Ingram out. Similar to the upset filled playoff side of the bracket, Toilet Bowl 2025 has the lower seed, BUFF, tapped as the slight favorites in Capture the Flagg.

Over in TB consolation, ABCX almost upset TRUO, as they were a few STL and PTS away from a victory. Alas, they’ll face off against UFOS—who lost to FJUB handily—perhaps as a “winner goes home” match for SlamNation?!

Post-Season RD1 Recap and RD2 Matchups: 2025

 👑 Playoffs RD2

2 MELO vs 8 SOUR

3 SCRM vs 4 SWMP

Playoffs RD2 Consolation

1 SQSQ vs 7 ILCN

5 SPDE vs 6 KSKT

🚽 Toilet Bowl RD2

9 SBUK vs 12 BUFF

10 CHMK vs 11 FUNK

Toilet Bowl RD2 Consolation

13 FJUB vs 16 UFOS

14 ABCX vs 15 TRUO

Playoff RD1 Recap

Unfortunately for SQSQ, it’s deja vu all over again as they get toppled as the top seed by a lowly eighth seed, just like back in 2022. Sadly, our must-win all-in team was missing Anthony Davis, Daniel Gafford, and Richuan Holmes, leaving a big hole in the middle. While James Harden and Derrick White had some heroic games, Miles Bridges and Steph Curry equaled their insanity and then some, giving SOUR a gigantic upset. Suddenly, SOUR looks like a real threat to win the title, again!

We almost had another huge upset between #2 MELO and #7 ILCN. Their match went down to the wire and even tied up at 4-4-1 apiece. ILCN was down Jaren Jackson Jr., Dereck Lively, and Mark Williams, leaving their interior wide open to assault. MELO fought through their own long list injuries but pulled out the win, with STL being the tied category but 3PT and BLK being very closely contested. And now MELO are the highest seed left, but they’ll have to face off against SOUR for an in-family matchup for a Finals appearance!

SCRM used solid defense and rebounding to take down the defending champs, KSKT. Despite Cade Cunningham and Anfernee Simons’ offensive explosion, SCRM was just too good behind Giannis Antetokounmpo, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, and Dyson Daniels’ thievery.

SWMP and SPDE tied in REB but that was about all the positives SPDE had for their opening playoff week. With no Wemby, they still dominated BLK—thanks Walker Kessler—but tripling up the opponent in blocks won’t help the other categories, and SPDE went quietly into the playoff consolation bracket with a 3-5-1 loss. They’ll have a tough time ahead with Wemby and Tyrese Maxey both still injured. On the other hand, SWMP is showing seven players OUT to start the week, and while they have a very deep and talented roster, the Nikola Jokic, Zach LaVine, and Jalen Williams show will have to really drag this team forward.

I can’t believe it… is eighth seeded SOUR somehow the odds-on favorite of the 2025 title?!

Toilet Bowl RD1 Recap

Nothing too exciting here, as all the higher seeds advanced. SBUK had 27 GP versus UFOS 19, and yet only won BLK by three and REB by twelve, so conceivably UFOS had a chance at a big upset there. But UFOS’ coach hasn’t adjusted his lineup in weeks so a win would have been undeserved.

The same thing with ABCX, who basically didn’t adjust their roster—with Bobby Portis still in SSPD and yet starting—and with all the injuries they had, ABCX actually managed to get one extra GP over FUNK, which still resulted in a close 4-5 loss. There was possibly an upset shot here too but as they say, “that’s why they play the games!” Or not, in UFOS and ABCX’s cases.

BUFF did take out FJUB by a mere two BLK and three 3PT, which was pretty exiting down the stretch, as the matchup was pretty close throughout. CHMK waxed TRUO to easily advance, and is looking like the best of the four remaining teams.

Toilet Bowl Teams 2025

[ Power Rankings 2025 | Playoff Teams 2025 | Midseason Tiers 2025 ]

The tournament for the losers. We love to see people duke it out to the finish and this year’s on the bubble teams were stellar in their competitiveness. With Capture the Flagg draft coming up in 2026, the incentive must have been great to tank. However, that wasn’t what our bubble teams chose to do and we commend them for that. Let’s take a look at the eight teams who will be fighting for high draft picks next season.

#9 SBUK (10-8)

ODE: 14/11/2

Giving us a masterclass in fighting till the end, SBUK went 5-1 down the stretch to try to the make the playoffs. Their last three games were against bottom feeders FJUB, UFOS, and TRUO, but SBUK resisted any urge to tank and fought hard all the way through. Bravo, bravo! Now, SBUK are looking at the best odds for a Toilet Bowl win—they captured a TB win in 2019—while being subject to the dreaded SWMP Rule of not being able to pick first or second overall next year. However, let the record show that SBUK is here to win and not roll over, even as Joel Embiid and Kyrie Irving are out for the season. Winning a 2026 RD1.3 would still be a great accomplishment, as GM Josh has already started to go younger, trading off Rudy Gobert and CJ McCollum for the promise of Alex Sarr (2025 RD1.11). Let karma reign for SBUK!

#10 CHMK (9-9)

ODE: 7/2/15

After last season’s pre-postseason trade extravaganza, CHMK has stayed quiet this year as they watched their talent-consolidated roster play a full season together. Evan Mobley emerged as an All Star, Anthony Edwards faced the pressure of being “The Guy,” and 2024 RD1.3 Amen Thompson broke out and might now challenge Edwards as the most fun guy in the NBA to watch. All that and a 0.500 record, not bad! While CHMK suffered a five game losing streak midseason to take them out of playoff contention, they did rally for a 2-2 finish. CHMK is a team on the rise and a high draft pick in 2026 could be just the thing to take them out of the loser’s bracket, where they’ve been mired for four long years.

#11 FUNK (8-10)

ODE: 8/11/4

Back-to-back eight win seasons have sent FUNK to the Toilet Bowl again. Despite getting the top overall selection this past season—misspent on Reed Sheppard aka “White Yuki Kawamura”—FUNK has struggled gathering any momentum all season long. Even after a series of midseason trades to try to right the ship—bringing in Jakob Poeltl, Collin Sexton, and Goga Bitadze—FUNK only managed to pick up one win in their last six games, relegating them to the bottom tournament once again. With Lauri Markkanen out and still no real point guard around—Sexton is also hurt—FUNK will need Jayson Tatum and Trey Murphy to both get white hot to have a shot at picking first overall again. Maybe FUNK can grab Sheppard with 2026 RD1.1 and run it back!

#12 BUFF (7-10-1)

ODE: 3/15/6

Speaking of a team that finished the season on a downturn, 2025’s surprise SlamNataion Finalist BUFF went 1-6-1 over the past two months, squandering their successful early season. Somehow BUFF was still third in in the league on offense, as they led everyone in 3PT and was fifth in PTS. There is a dangerous team in here somewhere, with Jalen Brunson and Domantas Sabonis leading the way—plus the pre-draft trade for Coby White has been great—but BUFF is entering the Toilet Bowl a little wounded all around, with the biggest missing piece being Brandon Ingram, who is unlikely to see any time before the 2025 SlamNation season ends. Still, BUFF could get a juicy high pick if they manage to get a win or two in the Toilet Bowl, and Cooper Flagg is looking mighty good as a defensive centerpiece for any team, particularly this one!

#13 FJUB (5-12-1)

ODE: 11/3/12

FJUB led the league in Games Played this season, but all those GPs still resulted in this long time franchise’s worst regular season ever. Yep, after missing only one playoffs in the past fifteen seasons, the 0.306 winning 2025 FJUB find themselves not only in the Toilet Bowl, but as a low low seed. Strangely, the pairing of Trae Young and Karl-Anthony Towns should give any team a good offensive baseline, but FJUB is instead back to their traditional ways, as a top-three defensive squad. What gives?! Overall, FJUB is likely looking at a rebuild, with time needed for 2025 RD1.10 Zaccharie Risacher to grow and the rest of the roster to be shifted around. A midseason trade for OG Anunoby was a nice add but more will likely be needed for FJUB to return to their winning ways.

#14 ABCX (4-13-1)

ODE: 15/8/9

After throwing up the rest regular season in SlamNation history last year, it’s a bit of a shock to see ABCX with four huge wins. They cleared out all the teams underneath them in these ratings, and took out FUNK in WK16 as well. ABCX started the season off 0-9-1, meaning they actually went 4-4 the rest of the way! Woohoo! The return of LaMelo Ball to mostly full health certainly helped, as the underrated crazy great Ivica Zubac season as well. Now we’ll see if ABCX can make any noise in the Toilet Bowl, even as their roster is dotted with injured and suspended players. We can’t say ABCX is ready to win much, but at least they won some this year!

#15 TRUO (3-13-2)

ODE: 10/14/6

Over the past eight seasons, TRUO has thrown up a 0.311 winning percentage. In their first eight years, they were winning at a 0.613 clip. Since 2020, TRUO has a record of 24-83-4 and they’ve been mired at the bottom of the standings. After starting the 2025 season off with three straight wins, TRUO proceeded to chuck out thirteen losses and two ties to close the year. Oof. 2025 was also the rare year where Coach Thien’s team wasn’t one of the Games Played leaders, which is something that has always been a strength. We would love for this once successful franchise to get a high 2026 pick, but with a slew of injuries—most notably to outstanding 2025 rookie free agent find Jared McCain—TRUO will likely have to do with a middling first round pick, yet again.

#16 UFOS (2-16)

ODE: 16/16/4

With only one win last season—UFOS’ first—the 2025 version of this team technically doubled last year’s success. And those two wins were legit, versus SBUK and BUFF. However, owner Victor was basically M.I.A. over the back half of the season and with multiple lineup violations and a paltry Games Played number, most fans are calling for a new owner. The roster was never devoid of talent, but there’s not franchise player on-board to hang their hat on—especially post-Damian Lillard deal—and whoever comes in to take over this franchise in 2026 will have some major revamping to do. Still, we hope UFOS had a good time in SlamNation and someone eager and competent will come aboard to take over the moribund FOBS/UFOS franchise.

Toilet Bowl 2024: Sucked Back In

After five straight seasons in the playoffs, SWMP somehow found themselves in the Toilet Bowl despite a 10-8 record. Edged out by multiple tie-breakers, SWMP was the leading candidate to win the 2024 Toilet Bowl and they did so without much trouble as the top seed, dispatching ABCX and UFOS in the first two rounds—the two worst teams in the league—and then breaking the spirit of FUNK in the final round. The Toilet Bowl win is nice, but SWMP is also a victim of its own success, as they now dubbed “SWMP Rule” will prevent them from enjoying a top-two pick in the 2025 draft. However, they will win a RD1.3 selection, and that is still a nice prize for a team that is loaded with talent.

The trade off of Alperen Sengun will give SWMP a new look heading into next season as they’ll feature a theoretical keeper core of Nikola Jokic, Jalen Williams, Paul George, Zach LaVine, Jalen Johnson, Keyonte George, Deandre Ayton, and Bradley Beal—who led this team in minutes in the TB Finals! (Already there were talks of the injured LaVine being shopped in the upcoming offseason.)

This SWMP’s third Toilet Bowl win, tying them with CHMK for the record. Congrats Eddie and we hope to never see you in the Toilet Bowl again!

As for FUNK, they pulled off wins versus MELO and TRUO to advance to their third Toilet Bowl finals, and they’ll get the number one overall pick by default. The last time FUNK had back-to-back Toilet Bowl victories and subsequent number one picks, ending up with Karl-Anthony Towns and Ben Simmons in 2015 and 2016 respectively. With no consensus top prospect in the upcoming 2025 draft, it’ll be interesting to see what direction FUNK goes with this selection.

(Full Stats)

Postseason Recap & RD3 Matchups

Another wild week in Slam! A tie in the Toilet Bowl and two Toilet Bowl contestants that have already made history for their franchises. Note: Matchup  and then 2025 RD1 draft picks being played for in parentheses.

👑Playoffs RD3

3 KSKT vs 4 BUFF ( Pick RD1.16 / RD1.9)

Playoffs RD3 Consolation

7 FJUB vs 8 SQSQ (10 / 11)

1 SCRM vs 6 SOUR (12 / 13)

2 SPDE vs 5 ILCN (14 / 15)

For our title game featuring two teams who've never grasped the championship, we have a matchup between "the team that’s been promised," KSKT, versus a longtime franchise that’s been adrift recently, BUFF.

Since spinning off into their own team in 2021, KSKT has gone 44-29-1 in four regular seasons, capturing one regular season wins crown and making two playoff appearances. Now, after defeating dad’s team, SQSQ, in the semi-finals, owner Matt will have a chance to make history as the youngest SlamNation champion! The team itself is also incredibly young, as Tyrese Haliburton, Cade Cunningham, Zion Williamson, Anfernee Simons, and Michael Porter Jr. are all twenty-five years old or under. The lone “old man” of the core, Kristaps Porzingis, is still under thirty himself.

During this same four year period, BUFF has gone 37-36-1, meandering from back-to-back 0.500 records to a 7-13 2023 season, and then an unexpected 12-6 record this year. As the fourth overall seed, it’s maybe not an objective surprise that BUFF is in the Finals--which they reached once in 2013--but this team sure wasn’t on anyone’s contender radar.

As a true dark horse, BUFF has been on an 11-1 run since mid-December, including a win versus KSKT in WK12—who was minus a healthy Tyrese Haliburton and Kristaps Porzingis. Overall, BUFF hasn’t lost a game since mid-January and all their playoff success can’t be just credited to juicing up the roster after trading away Anthony Edwards. (Of course, getting 35.7 PTS and 3.7 3PT from Jalen Brunson and 17.5 PTS and 15.0 REB from Jalen Duren for the week was crucial.)

On paper, this is KSKT’s championship to lose as they have all the star names, but BUFF clearly has the momentum and the support of the fans who love cheering for underdogs. For this matchup, Porzingis will likely still be missing, but the rest of KSKT’s oft-injured lineup looks fully healthy. They also have two clear winning categories—3PT and BLK—while BUFF should win REB. After that, the rest of the categories will be a toss up, with KSKT getting the slight edge in PTS and AST.  However, Jalen Brunson is gamer and as the 2024 playoffs has proven: anything can happen!!!

🚽Toilet Bowl RD3

9 SWMP vs 12 FUNK (3 / 1 ) 🔒

Toilet Bowl RD3 Consolation

14 TRUO vs 15 UFOS (2 / 4)

10 SBUK vs 11 CHMK (5 / 6)

13 MELO vs 16 ABCX (7 / 8)

In the Toilet Bowl, it’s another case of a post-CHMK trade partner powering their way to the final game. SWMP jettisoned home-grown Alperen Sengun—who got hurt last week--for two Jalens (Williams and Johnson), and those two have combined for an average of 19.1 PTS, 5.75 REB, 4.6 AST, 1.3 STL, 0.9 BLK, 2.1 3PT, and just about 50% FG for the past two weeks.

A Toilet Bowl title is likely, however that doesn’t mean SWMP will get their choice of top picks next season, as they will be locked into 2025 RD1.3 pick, as the benefactor’s of the SWMP Rule. That means, as the next team up, FUNK falls into the first overall draft pick next season, and did it by the skin of their teeth.

In a matchup that came down to a handful of rebounds and tie in steals, FUNK and TRUO ended Sunday tied up at 4-4-1, necessitating a visit to the rulebook. After a short consultation with the commissioners, it was decided officially that the higher seed would win in any postseason matchup, thus sending FUNK to face off against SWMP. [ Playoff Tie-Breaker System, updated ]

While there isn’t any draft positioning at stake, there is still something on the line. Both FUNK and SWMP have won repeat Toilet Bowl titles, and one of them will join CHMK in the exclusive three time Toilet Bowl winner club. It may be a ignoramus distinction, but for teams in the Toilet Bowl, a win is a win is a win!

Note: Due to the SWMP Rule, TRUO and UFOS will be playing for the 2025 RD1.2 and RD1.4 picks.

Postseason Recap & RD2 Matchups

In a shocking WK1 of SlamNation 2024 playoffs, we maybe had our most upset filled week ever! (And we thought last year’s RD1 was exciting!) Down went #1 and #2 overall, as well as two higher seeds in the Toilet Bowl. With karma playing a huge role—and injuries—we already have a very interesting final four in the title and Toilet Bowl chases.

👑 Playoffs RD2

3 KSKT vs 8 SQSQ

4 BUFF vs 7 FJUB

Playoffs RD2 Consolation

1 SCRM vs 5 ILCN

2 SPDE vs 6 SOUR

In an extreme shocker, eighth seeded SQSQ took out the seemingly invincible SCRM. Toward the back half of the regular season, some owners were convinced that SCRM was unbeatable. However, once you get on the court, anything can happen. In this case, SCRM sort of had sewn the seeds of their own unexpected destruction.

The early season trade for Kawhi Leonard has been great all season for SCRM but at Leonard took the most in inopportune time to miss a game. And then last week’s pre-deadline move to bring in rim deterrent Brook Lopez only netted SCRM five total blocks in four games, which was way below Lopez’s average. And then there was the big revenge game. Ex-SCRM franchise cornerstone Anthony Davis came through huge with a gigantic week, highlighted by a 27 PTS, 25 REB, 5 AST, 7 STL, 3 BLK career day to cap off Sunday. Now that’s a revenge game!

Overall, SQSQ took REB, BLK, TOS, and both percentage categories. This has to be a huge moment for the franchise—perhaps their biggest win ever! SQSQ has not advanced past the first round since 2019 and have never pulled off an upset of this magnitude. Now coach Brian will have a chance to face off against his son Matt for a chance to advance to SQSQ’s first SlamNation finals.

As if one major upset wasn’t enough, FJUB—who backed into a playoff spot--called upon the fantasy gods himself to take down future fantasy gods Viktor Wembanyama and Chet Holmgren. Sure, it helped that Wemby only suited up for thirty-one minutes total, but it was still quite a feat to match SPDE in blocks, with Isaiah Hartenstein and Herbert Jones really came through there. With major injuries on both sides, this upset ended up being not all that close as FJUB used three extra Games Played to emerge with a stress-free 6-2-1 victory.

For the semi-final round, we’re looking at three teams that have never been in the championship game before—KSKT, BUFF, SQSQ—with only FJUB having any previous title game experience. Our eyes will be glued to the father-son matchup but BUFF versus FJUB is also a showdown for the (Catch the Damn Ball) ages. Congrats to all four teams still left alive in the chase for the ring! Note: KSKT took care of business at home and eliminated the defending champs, SOUR, so the repeat is out the window.

🚽 Toilet Bowl RD2

9 SWMP vs 15 UFOS

12 FUNK vs 14 TRUO

Toilet Bowl RD2 Consolation

10 SBUK vs 16 ABCX

11 CHMK vs 13 MELO

Over in the Toilet Bowl, the upsets didn’t stop, as TRUO and UFOS both pulled off huge wins versus CHMK and SBUK respectively—and MELO was one block away from tying FUNK.

With recent trade acquisition Alperen Sengun being carted off the floor on Sunday, CHMK entire front line let him down as Evan Mobley was hurt and Bam Adebayo had been slumping. Thin after all their recent mega-trades, the stage was set here for an upset already. TRUO still had to take care of business however and they did with some accurate shooting, plenty of threes, and winning PTS by a mere eleven as De’Aaron Fox averaged 28.8 points over four games.

And then there was UFOS toppling tenth seeded SBUK, who mismanaged and hit the games cap on Saturday, although it’s likely their fate was sealed regardless Joel Embiid and Desmond were out of action anyway. For a fifteenth seed with just one win on the season, UFOS taking out one of the top-two seeds in the Toilet Bowl has to be the highlight of the year. Damian Lillard flanked by rebounding and defense was the winning formula.

Now both TRUO and UFOS have guaranteed themselves at least a top four pick in the 2025 draft, great job! In RD2, we’ll be keeping a close eye on the SWMP versus UFOS cousin face-off to see if Victor can pull off another huge upset! 

Toilet Bowl 2023: Same Simian

Our Toilet Bowl finals didn’t have any draft implications, as SPDE and SQSQ had already locked in the first and second picks for the 2024 draft—thanks SWMP Rule—but there was history at stake, as CHMK could become the third back-to-back Toilet Bowl winner with a victory here, as well as increasing their total Toilet Bowl wins to three. As for SPDE, they’ve already won the Wembanyama sweepstakes so it was already party time in Spade-land!

CHMK escaped a near upset in round one versus TRUO—winning by a mere two assists— but took care of business against SQSQ with a huge defensive effort. The actual Toilet Bowl matchup was an easy win versus the already celebrating SPDE—who had already locked up the 2024 first pick due to the “SWMP Rule”—and overall it was a hugely successful rebuild season for CHMK.

GM Evan traded away James Harden early on, and then stacked talent, unearthing rookie Jalen Williams, the sudden offensive force that was Brooklyn Mikal Bridges, and adding 2023 first overall pick Jabari Smith Jr. to the roster as well. And then there’s that defensive backbone of Bam Adebayo, Nic Claxton, and Evan Mobley. Offensive powerhouses Desmond Bane and Jordan Poole were in the backcourt, giving CHMK good balance all around.

Moving forward, CHMK will be flush with young talent, and another high pick—2024’s RD1.3—to launch them (hopefully) out of the Toilet Bowl. Congrats to CHMK, our third back-to-back Toilet Bowl champion!

SPDE pulled off two upsets on their way to the TB Finals—versus BUFF and MELO—thus securing their first ever number one overall pick. And at just the right time too, as Victor Wembanyama is a generational prospect and now Randall will have Wemby and last year’s RD1.2 Chet Holmgren to jump start his rebuild. Congrats to SPDE!

(Full stats)

Post-Season RD3: 2023

Finals 2023

• 3 SOUR vs 5 FJUB

How did we get here?! I don’t think any prognosticators would have picked this Finals matchup heading into the playoffs but here we are, an epic matchup for the ages. SOUR is the winningest franchise in Slam history while FJUB is the third. SOUR has five titles under their belt--in seven appearances—while FJUB is two for two in their Finals appearances and subsequent wins. This is a true battle for the ages!

FJUB last won the title in 2021, while SOUR’s last ring was in 2019. They’ve never faced off against each other in a Finals before, but SOUR actually has an undefeated record against FJUB in the playoffs, dispatching FJUB in the first round in 2010, 2013, and 2019. As the third seed this season, SOUR may hold the advantage yet again.

If last week’s stats mean anything, SOUR would have won six categories to FJUB’s three—FT%, REB, BLK—so we’ll go ahead and name SOUR the favorites. It’ll be up to FJUB to fend off the quartet of Steph Curry, De’Aaron Fox, Jimmy Butler, and Pascal Siakam. It’ll be a tall task for Fred VanVleet, Chris Paul, Myles Turner, and hopefully new trade acquisition Terry Rozier (currently a tad injured). Good luck gentlemen!

Playoffs Consolation RD3

• 1 KSKT vs 2 SCRM
• 4 ILCN vs 7 FUNK
• 6 SWMP vs 8 SBUK

In the playoff consolation games, FUNK took a clean upset versus SWMP while ILCN took care of business versus SBUK, nudging last year’s champs out with the return of Luka Doncic.

Toilet Bowl Finals

• 10 CHMK vs 13 SPDE

Our Toilet Bowl finals doesn’t have any draft implications, as SPDE and SQSQ have locked in the first and second picks for the 2023 draft—thanks SWMP Rule—but there is history at stake, as CHMK can become the third back-to-back Toilet Bowl winner with a victory here, as well as increasing their total Toilet Bowl wins to three. As for SPDE, they’ve already won the Wembanyama sweepstakes so it’s already party time in Spade-land!

Toilet Bowl Consolation RD3

• 9 MELO vs 11 SQSQ
• 12 BUFF vs 15 TRUO
• 14 ABCX vs 16 FOBS

As for the consolation games, SQSQ put up a good fight versus CHMK--almost putting them into a battle with SPDE for the top 2023 pick--and should secure a victory versus MELO, who only managed a putrid twelve Games Played last week. Going this far does net SQSQ the 2024 RD1.2 selection, which will be a huge boon to this proud franchise. On the other side, BUFF and FOBS also went under the GP cap last week, at twenty-one and fifteen games respectively, so this week's matchups could be a case of teams simply winning if they can get anywhere near a full lineup. C’mon guys, we can do better!

Post-Season RD2: 2023

It was a very exciting first week of playoffs as many matchups came right down to the wire!

Playoff Recap & RD2 Matchups

1 KSKT vs 5 FJUB

Both teams here escaped by narrow margins as a Tyrese Haliburton-less KSKT survived a near upset by just one assist. We don’t know who Spurs center Sandro Mamukelashvili is, but he came up with five huge assists to get KSKT past defending champs SBUK.

As for FJUB, they had to fend off a Luka Doncic-less ILCN team that still threatened to take the win. It was a matchup frenzy on Sunday as FJUB and ILCN both adjusted their rosters multiple times. In the end, it was Devin Vassell’s five threes—not to mention Fred Van Vleet’s seventeen during the week—that helped secure the upset win for FJUB.

Heading into a big matchup, FJUB is cruising along at full health while Haliburton is out at least until mid-week, giving the edge to FJUB in another possible upset victory.

2 SCRM vs 3 SOUR

After a close back and forth for most of the week, SCRM also avoided an upset by taking AST by two and BLK by one over FUNK. In the end, DeMar DeRozan’s ten assists on Saturday was a difference maker—making SCRM happy to have acquired him (I hope). Don’t look now but the Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, James Harden, and Anthony Davis trio might be in the driver’s seat for the title.

In yet another game that came down to the wire, SOUR outlasted SWMP, winning 3PT by one—while tying in STL and BLK. At one point, SOUR versus SWMP had the incredible late Sunday line of 3-3-3 in categories. Instead, Austin “White Kobe” Reaves dropped in thirty-five points on 9/14 FG shooting, and 16/18 FT, along with six key assists. While Jerami Grant is still ailing for SOUR, it’s looking like Steph Curry and crew have just as good a shot at returning to the Slam Finals as any team. This is definitely gonna be the match of the week!

Playoff Consolation

4 ILCN vs 8 SBUK

With all four teams nicked by close victories, the battle for a few draft positions commences. ILCN is looking a little injury ravaged, but SBUK also could be dealing with a dinged up Kyrie Irving and Rudy Gobert. At stake here is a slightly higher draft pick for next season.

6 SWMP vs 7 FUNK

As for SWMP versus FUNK, it should be another battle of big versus small as FUNK will try to steal this game against Nikola Jokic and crew. The only thing making this exciting might be a side bet between SWMP and FUNK? What say you fans of SWMP?!

Toilet Bowl Recap & RD2 Matchups

9 MELO vs 13 SPDE

The dream of Chet Holmgren and Victor Wembanyama is still alive as Tyler Herro delivered exactly what was needed for SPDE to take a nail-biter against BUFF—winning STL and TO by just one each. Who needs Kawhi?!?

MELO will face a much tougher matchup for them this week, after wiping FOBS with relative ease in round one of the Toilet Bowl. With the career renaissance of James Wiseman in full effect, MELO would love to add a top pick to their rebuilding cache, even as they’ve already secured a top-four pick in next year’s draft.

10 CHMK vs 11 SQSQ

CHMK went through a stress-filled Sunday as well, as they were down pretty big to TRUO, who had maxed out their roster on Saturday. CHMK snuck out the victory by a mere two AST, with Bam Adebayo and Jalen Williams contributing five each. Whew!

Now CHMK will face off against SQSQ, who had an easy win versus ABCX—who maxed out at twenty-one games. As noted before, LeBron James and Began Bogdanovic are both hurt, so for SQSQ to secure a Toilet Bowl finals, they’ll really need Giannis Anteokounmpo and Jrue Holiday to come up big versus CHMK’s deep and healthy roster.

Toilet Bowl Consolation

12 BUFF vs 16 FOBS

After such a narrow loss, BUFF can still aim for the fifth pick in next year’s draft, as they should be the strongest team left in the TB consolation bracket. Damian Lillard might put up a fight but FOBS is looking a little defeated at this point.

14 ABCX vs 15 TRUO

Does ABCX field a full roster here against TRUO? Or do they hand a free win over? TRUO came this close to taking out CHMK so we have to favor them in this matchup, especially as ABCX is down all their major players.

Toilet Bowl Teams: 2023

#9 MELO (10-10)

While they watch their fellow three-year owners ascend to the top of the league, MELO is treading water, 0.500 for the first time in their short history—after a 11-5 debut season and a 3-17 campaign last year. They managed a four game win streak in the middle of this past season but petered out with a 1-5 showing at the end. Finishing just outside the playoffs means MELO will have a shot at a top pick next season—just not one of the top two—although they’ll have their work cut out for them.

It’s likely Kevin Durant and Andrew Wiggins will both be out for the duration of the fantasy playoffs. The good news is that 2021 RD1.2 pick James Wiseman has been unleashed in his new Detroit home, and Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen both ascended to new heights. With likely Sixth Man of the Year Malcolm Brogdon also on-board—along with Nikola Vucevic and Kevin Porter Jr.—MELO should still be able to put up a Toilet Bowl challenge as one of the favorites. All those missed Games Played this season will have to be turned around for that to happen though. Jack, get your team on the court!

#10 CHMK (8-12)

It’s been seven years since CHMK dipped below 0.500 but here we are, a second straight season in the Toilet Bowl for this former champion—they did win the TB last year. With a five game losing streak to start the season, CHMK pretty much played chalk the rest of the way, alternating between wins and losses.

The great news is that CHMK has some real undeniable strengths as a team, ranking first overall in REB and third in BLK and FG%. The big man lineup of Bam Adebayo, second-overall NBA blocks leader Nic Claxton, and early season trade acquisition Evan Mobley—plus Robert Williams III, even if he didn’t make many appearances this year—is unparalleled for youth, production, and talent.

And there’s a lot of pieces elsewhere as well, with Desmond Bane and Jordan Poole providing scoring while rookies Jabari Smith Jr. and Jalen Williams are coming on late. Heck, the real life Kevin Durant trade even made Mikal Bridges a scoring sensation, unleashing him as an offensive powerhouse since his arrival in Brooklyn. That’s an eight deep roster full of goodies, and CHMK can look forward to securing another high draft pick in 2024. Yowza!

#11 SQSQ (7-13)

This was not the season SQSQ was expecting. After two back-to-back regular season wins titles, SQSQ slid down the standings, to their second worst season as a franchise. The bottom dropped out fast after a 3-3 start, as SQSQ went 1-10 after that—including dropping six in a row. So what’s next for SQSQ? With Giannis Antetokounmpo and LeBron James powering them, SQSQ will be looking for a playoff spot next season but the looming Toilet Bowl is going to have to be fought with almost half the roster injured.

Giannis and Jrue Holiday will have to do a lot of work to get SQSQ a high draft pick next year. On the brighter side, sophomore Jonathan Kuminga is still showing good flashes and rookies Jeremy Sochan and Tari Eason have been contributors for their respective NBA teams. SQSQ may face a crossroad this coming off-season—have we seen the last of LeBron on SQSQ?—but having Victor Wembanyama vs Scoot Henderson would be a nice way to salvage a lost year.

#12 BUFF (7-13)

It’s the return of the Klay! Maybe Thompson can’t play defense anymore but he’s all the way back as a scorer. BUFF has always been light on defense anyway, and maybe leaning fully into an offensive mindset will bring them back to the playoffs. This will be the ninth season BUFF has been in the Toilet Bowl and it’s time for them to get out. A decade, Roger, a decade!

The trio of Anthony Edwards, Domantas Sabonis, and Brandon Ingram are a very good core to build around, and despite the injuries to Collin Sexton and Steven Adams—also, RIP Ben Simmons—BUFF might have enough to get into the Toilet Bowl finals. Adding Wembanyama would be a huge boon to the rebuild process as this team is severely lacing a rim protector. Go look at our RD1 previews for why karma is also on BUFF’s side for this Toilet Bowl.

#13 SPDE (7-13)

A lackadaisical first half of the season saw SPDE start off with zero wins in six contests, but since then they’ve been playing more or less 0.500 ball—with an injection of Games Played at midseason. In recent weeks they’ve beaten both MELO and CHMK, who are the top two seeds for the Toilet Bowl.

Having gambled during this year’s draft on RD1.2 Chet Holmgren, SPDE is clearly facing a full rebuild behind Devin Booker and Co. Actually, the rebuild is already well on its way, as Josh Giddey, Tyler Herro, and Tyrese Maxey—dare we point out Markelle Fultz as well?—are getting better each season. A now-healthy Kawhi Leonard could easily power SPDE to a Toilet Bowl title and one of the top picks in the draft. SPDE could be another one of our “how did they get so good so fast” turnaround stories soon.

#14 ABCX (6-14)

With a nine game losing streak to their names—tied for most this year—ABCX was doomed to the Toilet Bowl from the start. To their credit, ABCX did win out their last three matchups, but after snapping a two year playoff drought last season, ABCX will be fighting in the Toilet Bowl once again.

And while Ja Morant’s current status as a troubled superstar may not affect fantasy things next season, it is a blight on ABCX’s fine reputation as an upstanding franchise. The next generation backcourt of Morant and LaMelo Ball—injured plagued all season—is still here, but the rest of the roster is up for debate. Rookie Bennedict Mathurin was a find but everyone else here has likely seen better days, from Russell Westbrook to Harrison Barnes to even Kelly Oubre Jr. on down.

Securing even one win in the Toilet Bowl could be a huge boon to the franchise, but that’ll be a tall order with Morant, Ball, and Mathurin all out.

#15 TRUO (4-15-1)

Another franchise that has seen better days, TRUO is now facing four straight years out of the playoffs and they just racked up their worst winning percentage over a regular season since their debut year in 2021. Also sporting a nine game losing streak this season, TRUO didn’t finish strong either, dropping five straight to end the year.

We’re hoping this is TRUO’s nadir as a franchise and actually there is quite a bit of intriguing talent on this team. Jalen Green has found his footing, RJ Barrett as well (at least statistically), and Wendell Carter Jr. emerged as a steady force in the middle. Sophomore Scottie Barnes started off slow but has turned it up as of late. Add in Cole Anthony, Christian Wood, sweet shooting rookie Keegan Murray, and TRUO might have something.

A resurgent Julius Randle will have to lead the youth into a Toilet Bowl that TRUO should be desperate to win. The roster is fully healthy and playing at its absolute best, so the chance to win a franchise-altering talent like Wembanyama or Scoot is now!

#16 FOBS (3-16-1)

Nine game losing streak? FOBS has one too! All of those losses piled up amidst nine Games Played violations—adding up to more than hundred less games than top GP-ranked ILCN had this season. It’s like FOBS only played a sixteen game season this year, assuming the average GP for a week was 23.75 games.

FOBS was less than competitive this season, and it’s almost a miracle they won three games—against CHMK, BUFF, SPDE. There is some good news however. Franchise cornerstone Damian Lillard returned to action with a vengeance, putting up a career season. Jamal Murray also came back this year, and resumed his high scoring ways. Young pieces like Keldon Johnson, rookie Jaden Ivey, and Jarrett Allen are still here, and FOBS and some useful role players like Kevin Huerter, Saddiq Bey, and sophomore Jalen Suggs floating around.

Despite all that, the end of the line has come for FOBS, as Jimmy is stepping down after this Toilet Bowl. Can FOBS make one last run at a top pick? No team needs it more than this one, otherwise Lillard will have to go it alone for yet anther season. Note: New incoming owner Victor will have his pick of the litter of FOBS’ roster and the non-keepers for 2024.

While we’re here, let’s add on a eulogy for the FOBS franchise. Over fourteen seasons, FOBS accrued a 94-157-9 regular season record, which translates to a 0.375 winning percentage, which was bottom-seven of all time, and definitely the worst out of all the long-termed owners. (If you’re curious, we’ve had twenty-nine owners so far, with the Victor about to become our thirtieth.)

FOBS’ best season was 2020, when they put up a 12-7 record—they had a one-win season in 2012. That twelve-win 2020 season started a spurt of five playoff appearances but FOBS only ever made it out of the first round once—in 2018, an upset win over FJUB. But FOBS did make it to two Toilet Bowl finals--2011 and 2015.

Their initial 2011 keeper roster—not accounting for 2010 when SlamNation reset into its current iteration looked like this: Chris Bosh, Chauncey Billups, Rashard Lewis, Emeka Okafor, Zach Randolph, Lou Williams. Their longest tenured starting five would look like this: Kemba Walker, Zach Randolph, Jamal Murray (6 keeper seasons), Damian Lillard, Ryan Anderson (4).

GM Jimmy made a grand total of eight trades over their almost decade and a half. And through luck or a dash of incompetence, Ernie Grunfeld—sorry, Jimmy—never unearthed a Grade-A superstar in sixteen first round picks—seventeen if you count Chris Bosh. Maybe not even a semi-superstar actually. Here’s the list of all their RD1 draft picks:

• 2010: Chris Bosh
• 2011: Evan Turner
• 2012: Michael Beasley (R), Nick Young
• 2013: Dion Waiters
• 2014: Trey Burke (R)
• 2015: Doug McDermott (R)
• 2016: D’Angelo Russell (R)
• 2017: Jamal Murray (R)
• 2018: Rodney Hood
• 2019: Jonathan Isaac
• 2020: Rui Hachimura (R)
• 2021: Obi Toppin (R)
• 2022: Jalen Suggs (R), Buddy Hield
• 2023: Jaden Ivey (R), Jalen Smith

And all their RD2 ones as well…. In sum, are we saying FOBS was the least successful franchise in SlamNation history? Gulp, no no we’re not. Okay maybe. As one of the nine remaining original SlamNation owners however, we bid Jimmy a sad goodbye, and we thank him for his time with us. It’s been a long time my friend, and we hope to see you on the real basketball courts one day.

Post-Season RD1: 2023

Injuries are going to play a big role in the postseason--seemingly more than any other year. A huge number of superstars are ailing and the field is prety wide open for anyone to take the title--or the Toilet Bowl. Let's take a look at round one!

PLAYOFFS Round 1

#1 KSKT (16-4) vs #8 SBUK (12-8)

Last season saw KSKT go 0.500 in Matt’s second year in SlamNation and then boom, explosion! With the best regular season record in 2023—taking over from Dad’s SQSQ team by the way—KSKT now gets a first round matchup against the defending champs, SBUK!

It should be a battle for the ages as both teams have a league leading combined ODE of seventeen, with KSKT ranked first in offense and eighth in defense and efficiency. On the other side, SBUK sports a 6/6/5 in their ODE so this match should come down to who can play the better defense.

Even without Zion Williamson and Cade Cunningham, KSKT has been rampaging, but with Tyrese Haliburton day to day, the window for an upset could be open. Unfortunately, SBUK is dealing with injuries to Jalen Brunson, Kyrie Irving, and Rudy Gobert as well, so it’s again to take a monster Joel Embiid effort for SBUK to muster up a title defense.

#2 SCRM (15-4-1) vs #7 FUNK (12-8)

After a mega-deal that included nine players back in January, the idea was that SCRM would trade some present day production for a playoff run featuring Anthony Davis and Karl-Anthony Towns. Instead, our second seed will now play FUNK, the team that has half his former players in Dejounte Murray, OG Anunoby, and Derrick White—plus the addition of PJ Washington via Terry Rozier.

Looking to fend off FUNK will be the trio of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, DeMar DeRozan, and James Harden, along with the now healthy Davis. It’s going to be defense versus offense as SCRM and FUNK have diametrically opposite teams, but all of it could just come down to who can score more. [Editor: Sorry for the KAT dump, I swear it wasn’t by design!]

#3 SOUR (14-6) vs #6 SWMP (12-8)

Quietly lurking in the shadows all season has been SOUR, who finished just outside of taking the Chamberlain Conference away from SCRM. Letting Trieu sneak up on a title is never a good idea and it’ll be up to SWMP to stop this championship threatening menace.

SWMP find themselves in the bottom half of the playoff teams for the first time in five seasons—much of it could be attributed to a January stretch when they racked up three GP violations—but Nikola Jokic is a fearsome competitor. The bad news is that Khris Middleton and Alperen Sengun could possibly miss some games, which could be balanced out by SOUR’s Jerami Grant missing some time as well.

SOUR took care of SWMP pretty handily in a WK14 matchup but with these two heavyweights, anything could happen!

#4 ILCN (13-7) vs #5 FJUB (12-7-1)

Injuries will play a big part for ILCN in this first week of the playoffs as well. This dark horse contender will have to make do with—at least—one missed game apiece from Luka Doncic and Donovan Mitchell. Even a deep roster that includes dueling fantasy Rookie of the Years in Paolo Banchero and Walker Kessler might not make up for ILCN missing out on his offensive engines.

For FJUB, they are dealing with a missing Myles Turner but everyone is relatively healthy, and the pre-trade deadline move for Terry Rozier (at the cost of PJ Washington) should give the backcourt some added oomph.

Both of these teams have terrific numbers but with the top two scorers missing from ILCN’s top-two ranked offense, this could be a pretty even matchup across the board. We’re going to need some brilliant individual performances from either team to tip the scales!

TOILET BOWL Round 1

#9 MELO (10-10) vs #16 FOBS (3-16-1)

With FOBS ownership already slated to transition out next year, this will be a last hurrah for owner Jimmy—after fourteen seasons! As much as we’d like to see a Toilet Bowl win for incoming owner Victor to build on, with eight weeks worth of Games Played violations, the fantasy gods will not be kind to FOBS. Indeed, they are already staring at Damian Lillard, rookie Jaden Ivey, and Jarrett Allen missing at least one game each. Who’s left to power the potential upset? Jamal Murray and um, Rui Hachimura?

MELO hasn’t exactly been a Games Played star either, as they’ve racked up five violations this season—third behind FOBS and SPDE. They are dealing with some major injuries themselves, with Kevin Durant, Andrew Wiggins, and Norman Powell all out. So actually, this matchup could be somewhat even! However, here’s betting that Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen are enough to power MELO one step further in the Toilet Bowl.

#10 CHMK (8-12) vs #15 TRUO (4-15-1)

With a youth focused roster that is hitting its stride at just the right time—have you seen Evan Mobley and Jabari Smith Jr. lately?—CHMK could be the heavy favorites for a Toilet Bowl win. However, finishing as one of the top-two Toilet Bowl seeds will take them out of Wembayama or Scoot contention. Still, an overall third pick in next year’s draft would be a nice prize for them. Everyone here is healthy—minus Robert Williams III—and rookie sensation Jalen Williams has been an absolute beast recently.

As for TRUO, they are turning toward youth themselves, with Jalen Green, Scottie Barnes, and rookie Keegan Murray all looking good so far this season. The big question here is if the Julius Randle-led TRUO has the firepower to punch through CHMK’s second-ranked defense. If not, TRUO will have to hope that CHMK takes it all, elevating them to a possible higher pick behind the “SWMP Rule.”

#11 SQSQ (7-13) vs #14 ABCX (6-14)

There’s a world where SQSQ threatens to grab the top pick next season, but with LeBron James out of the rotation—along with Bojan Bogdanovic—it’ll be tough avoiding an upset. Then again, ABCX is also down their big star, and not just one but two! LaMelo Ball just had season ending surgery and Ja Morant has been exposed as a less than shining star, and could be out for the duration of the postseason.

If it’s down to Team Giannis versus Team Russell Westbrook, we may have to go with Giannis on this one. Both of these teams ranked very low in combined ODE—fifteenth and sixteenth actually—so this is going to be a slap fight to see who advances. Either way, both of these owners deserve an injection of fresh talent for their rosters, and we hope one of them can go the distance!

#12 BUFF (7-13) vs #13 SPDE (7-13)

Injury plagued and rarely at full strength this season, BUFF made the ultimate positive chemistry move by not pulling their players in WK20 in a tight game against KSKT—with a possible #10 seed, and thus a lost chance at a top-two 2024 pick. That is the kind of competitiveness we love to see and if there is any justice in the world, BUFF will secure the number one overall pick. They’ll have to do it amidst injuries to Kyle Kuzma, Collin Sexton, Steven Adams, and the corpse of Ben Simmons, but karma can go a long way in the Toilet Bowl.

As for SPDE, they tempted those same fantasy gods themselves by racking up six Games Played violations in their first twelve weeks of action. However, after refocusing, they avoided any more GP demerits. That means they should be at least even on the karma ledger—“TJ hates quitters!”—and they’ll be taking a healthy Kawhi Leonard and Devin Booker into the Toilet Bowl, giving them a pretty decent chance to surprise people and take it all. Imagine a Chet Holmgren and Wembayama pairing on SPDE next season!?!

2022 Toilet Bowl: Monkeying Around

After seven straight seasons in the playoffs, CHMK fell into the Toilet Bowl after a 0.500 season. Previously, CHMK had only ever missed the playoffs twice in the previous twelve seasons. Since their title run in 2018, the Monkeys have been contenders, but didn’t advance to another Finals.

The last time CHMK was in the Toilet Bowl, in 2014, they went all the way to the TB Finals, and had a guaranteed first overall pick—due to a Chris Paul trade where they owned Toilet Bowl opponent FJUB’s first round pick as well. (CHMK took Andrew Wiggins with the pick, and also got Jabari Parker at number two.) This time out, CHMK had to win the right to first choice and took care of business behind a huge scoring week from Jordan Poole. The Toilet Bowl Finals were basically a Poole versus Darius Garland show, as both put up monster numbers.

It was a close victory though, as CHMK pulled off the upset against top-seeded ILCN by a mere two STL and one BLK, securing them the 5-3-1 win. The real heroes of the matchup were likely Herb Jones (2 STL, 3 BLK), Isaiah Roby (4 STL, 4 BLK), and Drew Eubanks (6 STL, 3 BLK). All those defensive stats were needed to fend off ILCN’s Garland, who grabbed twelve steals on the week.

Having found Desmond Bane and Jordan Poole as his new backcourt of the future—how long will James Harden stay with CHMK is an open question, as Harden is tied with Steph Curry as the longest tenured player for one SlamNation team at thirteen seasons—GM Evan will now get a tremendous new piece to add to his rebuilding team. Congrats Chunky Monkeys, on yet another number one overall selection!

As for the Toilet Bowl runner-up, ILCN is also in a great position to improve his keeper core—which doesn’t need much help frankly, with Garland, Luka Doncic, and Donovan Mitchell around. ILCN’s first season in SlamNation, in 2018, also resulted in a run to the Toilet Bowl finals—where they lost to SWMP. Back then they needed a Cinderella-run to make it to the last game, but this time they were the Toilet Bowl favorites, with a 10-9-1 regular season record. So, despite a loss to CHMK, GM Frank will have the luxury of selecting in the top three—with SPDE getting the 2023 RD1.2 pick due to the so-called “SWMP rule.” In a projected three superstar draft, ILCN are going to be well positioned for next season and for many seasons afterward!

Post-Season RD3: 2022

Post-Season RD2: 2022

Playoff Recap:

In a shocking upset, eighth seeded SCRM took out regular season champion SQSQ, sending Giannis Antetokounmpo and LeBron James to the consolation bracket. (This was the second straight year the lowest playoff seed took out the top team.) They did it by winning the two percentage categories, eking out the battle of the boards, and defending the rim with Evan Mobley, Onyeka Okongwu, and Mitchell Robinson. For newish owner Jordan, this was yet another franchise highlight, coming off the heels of last year's Toilet Bowl finals appearance. Dejounte Murray and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander have another huge matchup to go in the next round, but so far they're undefeated in the playoffs!

FUNK also pulled off an upset, albeit a minor one -- just a fifth versus fourth seed -- as defending champion FJUB was felled by injuries heading into the postseason and then taken out of the playoffs by a Sunday that featured three injured starters. It's likely Fred VanVleet or Malcolm Brogdon could have led the comeback but FUNK won and the door is now open for a new 2022 champion...

Toilet Bowl Recap:

A pretty hefty upset occurred over in the Toilet Bowl as well, with fifteenth seeded SPDE pulling out a Sunday night victory over tenth seed BUFF. Randall's team won by 5-4, by a handful of threes and a mere eleven points, which meant just about everything was needed from Devin Booker, Darius Bazley, and Tyrese Maxey. Now SPDE can look forward to a possible shot at a top two draft pick in 2023, if they can get by top-seeded ILCN.

The rest of the Toilet Bowl played out as it should've, although it should be noted that both MELO and FOBS essentially conceded their matchups by not putting in maximum rosters. Indeed, GM Jimmy had only seventeen games played last week, as he was purported to be frolicking in Vegas...

Post-Season RD1: 2022

 

2021 Toilet Bowl: Squirtle Power

SQSQ began the season with legitimate championship hopes as they ended the aborted 2020 season as the best team in the league. After two straight playoff appearances and two years of twelve-plus wins, there was no way Squirtle could back step right? GM Brian was so confident in their ring chances that they traded for the ultimate win-now move, sending out Bam Adebayo for LeBron James.

Instead, the Giannis Antetokounmpo and James combination came out of the gates with three straight losses and despite a mid-season winning streak, SQSQ would finish 7-9, leaving them outside the playoffs as the sixth-worst team in the league. In the Toilet Bowl, SQSQ found its stride though, taking care of ABCX in round one, winning the dad-son matchup against KSTK in round two, and then winning the whole thing against SCRM. That’s great right?

Well, the bad news is that while SQSQ gets the Toilet Bowl title as a feather in their cap, they don’t actually get to draft a top player in 2022. (This is SQSQ's second Toilet Bowl finals appearance, the last one was in 2017.) Back in February, Mason Plumlee was brought in via trade in exchange for Gary Trent Jr. and SQSQ 2022 RD1 -- Plumlee was traded to KSKT by SQSQ back in December -- which ended up being the number one overall pick. So essentially, SQSQ was playing for KSKT’s number one overall selection.

Dad Brian took home the win and now son Matt will reap the rewards. If that’s not sacrificing for family, we don’t know what is! For next season, Giannis and LeBron are still a solid duo, but perhaps some tinkering will have to be done to get SQSQ back on the road to contention.

In their opening season for Slam, SCRM finished outside the playoffs at 7-8-1, but that had to be considered a win after taking over for a Hilt franchise that put up six and four wins in recent years. With Anthony Davis dinged up most of the season, SCRM still managed to pull it together and get two Toilet Bowl wins, earning themselves the 2022 RD1.3 pick — due to the rule not allowing #9/10 seeds to win the top two picks. Adding another top talent to this core should make SCRM’s second season in Slam even more successful!

Post-Season RD2&3: 2021

POST-SEASON ROUND 2: SEMI-FINALS

• #2 FJUB vs #8 BUFF (FJUB)
• #4 MELO vs #6 SBUK (SBUK)

POST-SEASON ROUND 3: FINALS

• #2 FJUB vs #6 SBUK (FJUB) 👑

CONSOLATION ROUND 2

• #1 SWMP vs #7 FUNK (FUNK)
• #3 CHMK vs #5 ILCN (CHMK)

CONSOLATION ROUND 3

• #4 MELO vs #8 BUFF (BUFF)
• #3 CHMK vs #7 FUNK (FUNK)
• #1 SWMP vs #5 ILCN (ICLN)

TOILET BOWL ROUND 2: SEMI-FINALS

• #10 SCRM vs #16 TRUO (SCRM)
• #11 SQSQ vs #12 KSKT (SQSQ)

TOILET BOWL ROUND 3: FINALS

• #10 SCRM vs #11 SQSQ (SQSQ) 🚽

TB CONSOLATION ROUND 2

• #9 SOUR vs #15 SPDE (SOUR)
• #13 FOBS vs #14 ABCX (FOBS)

TB CONSOLATION ROUND 3

• #12 KSKT vs #16 TRUO (TRUO)
• #9 SOUR vs #13 FOBS (SOUR)
• #14 ABCX vs #15 SPDE (ABCX)

Post-Season RD1: 2021

PLAYOFFS

ROUND 1

• #1 SWMP vs #8 BUFF (BUFF)
• #2 FJUB vs #7 FUNK (FJUB)
• #3 CHMK vs #6 SBUK (SBUK)
• #4 MELO vs #5 ILCN (MELO)

Despite being favorites to win the 2021 title, top seeded SWMP was taken down in a thrilling Sunday night victory by eighth seed Buffy -- behind Delon Wright's game winning two steals. While it was very close, the victory wasn't exactly a fluke, as BUFF had defeated SWMP back in WK14 as well. Was SWMP just papier-mâché all along? With a disappointing exit from the playoffs, SWMP owner Eddie will have to continue ring hunting next year.

There were almost four upsets in the first round of the playoffs this season, as FJUB and MELO barely outlasted FUNK and ILCN. FJUB had to resort to some free agent block chasing to secure their win while MELO and ILCN actually tied in their round one battle, with the tie-break ultimately going to MELO as they were the higher seed. [ Playoff Tie-Breaker System ]

As for third-seeded CHMK, they were toppled during a Harden-less week by SBUK, who solidly secured their upset in a closer than it looked matchup. Now, with each round being re-seeded, we have BUFF looking to take out another top seed on their way to the title game while MELO and SBUK will face-off for one of them to reach their first ever Finals appearance. [ Postseason Mini-Explainer ]

ROUND 2

• #2 FJUB vs #8 BUFF
• #4 MELO vs #6 SBUK

TOILET BOWL

ROUND 1

• #9 SOUR vs #16 TRUO (TRUO)
• #10 SCRM vs #15 SPDE (SCRM)
• #11 SQSQ vs #14 ABCX (SQSQ)
• #12 KSKT vs #13 FOBS (KSKT)

Over in Toilet Bowl action, we had the top seed there fall as well, as SOUR was felled by TRUO in quite easy fashion, even with Kevin Durant attempting a heroic Sunday night comeback. Conspiracists will point to SOUR's 17/21 GP as the culprit, but maybe it was just karma coming back for the defending 2020 champs, as they've run roughshod over the league for long enough.

The rest of the Toilet Bowl slate played out even, as SCRM, SQSQ, and KSKT handily won their matchups. Now we'll get a highly anticipated father versus son Toilet Bowl showdown between SQSQ and KSKT, for the right to one of the top two picks in the 2022 draft. Note that #10 SCRM could win out but will only get as high as a 2022 RD1.3 due to their top two seeding in the Toilet Bowl. However, with a probable deep 2021-22 NBA draft coming up, this round one Toilet Bowl win was huge for all four teams!

ROUND 2

• #10 SCRM vs #16 TRUO
• #11 SQSQ vs #12 KSKT