We're throwing in the towel on 2020... It's sad but true. Let's take a look at how each team did in this aborted NBA season. [ Midseason: Top Eight | Bottom Eight ]
#3 CHMK Chunky Monkeys (14-4-1)
The Monkeys are only one year removed from their first title and were in a nice position to challenge for their second ring — especially with nemesis Sour Snails out of the picture. However, this aborted season could hurt CHMK as they aren’t exactly spring chickens. Of course, almost winning another regular season crown was within reach, and they were only a third seed due to one less tie and a H2H tiebreaker lost to SPDE. LeBron James and James Harden are basically enough to power CHMK to the best offense in the league — they led the season in PTS, 3PT, and was second in AST. Adding Davis Bertans and Bogdan Bogdanovic via the 2020 draft helped on that side of the ball as well. (Is it possible one of them overtakes Otto Porter as a keeper, after Porter’s injury plagued season?)
Since James continues his immortal ways, the championship window is always open here. The core of LeBron, Harden, and Lowry are definitely the oldest in the league, but it looks like last year’s prize rookie, 2019 RD1.16 Collin Sexton, might be something after a so-so rookie season. Having a young scorer like Sexton blossom is exactly what this aging core needs.
Monkeys may not be as dominant in years past but they did rip off a 9-0-1 stretch midseason, and there’s just no way a team this loaded can be counted out during any season, even as the competition for a title has gotten even tougher. For now, congrats to Evan on yet another division/conference title, their third in the last four years.
#4 SWMP Swamp Dragons (14-5)
After losing to Sour Snails in the 2019 Finals, SWMP was hoping to make their fourth Final appearance in nine years. And they were in perfect position to do it too, as their ODE splits of 2/1/6 over the last month had them the analytical favorites. Of course, the injuries to Kelly Oubre Jr., mid-season trade acquisition Malcolm Brogdon (for 2020 RD1.9 rookie Brandon Clarke), and the in-and-out status of Deandre Ayton probably would have put them short in the postseason. Unless free agent pickup and future NBA MVP Christian Wood — acquired for just $1 FAAB — was going to carry them to title town!
SWMP wrapped up the regular season on a 7-1 run — the lone loss was to ABCX — and they were 11-2 from December on. Just about everyone on this roster is at or near their primes, with Nikola Jokic and Paul George leading the way. And now Ayton has firmly cemented his “not Luka but still damn good” fantasy status. With D’Angelo Russell and Malik Beasley both moved to Minnesota, there’s once again a wealth of depth and roster decisions for Eddie. Could Beasley edge out Oubre or Brogdon — the rare losing trade between FUNK and SWMP, as the send off was rookie Brandon Clarke — for a keeper spot next season? We count nine possible keepers here… Yep, SWMP is loaded and we’ll see if they can push their way to a semi back-to-back Finals appearance next year!
#5 FOBS Fob Stars (12-7)
Well, that was unexpected. After hovering around 0.500 for the past four years, FOBS put up an impressive twelve wins on their way to a 0.632 season, good enough for a power rank of five and home court advantage in the postseason — this would have been their fifth straight appearance after their first six seasons in the Toilet Bowl.
Much of their success can be attributed to a league leading efficiency rating, as they are stellar at both percentages and have very low turnovers for a better than league average offense. FOBS ended the season on a 4-1 run, and was leading SPDE during the aborted last week. Would they have been good enough to be a dark horse contender? Maybe!
The Damian Lillard show continues to roll on, and 2018 RD3.8 pick John Collins really exploded in his third year, even after missing the first twenty games due to a PED suspension. Collins gives FOBS another fantasy superstar to build around and 2020 RD1.12 Rui Hachimura showed enough in his injury plagued rookie season to give FOBS fans hope that he’ll be a cornerstone piece as well.
We made fun of GM Jimmy for keeping Jordan Clarkson and DeAndre Jordan this past offseason, but both were pretty serviceable actually. Add in the return to (assist) form from Ricky Rubio and we have to say it: the FOBS' contention window is right now. Lillard, Rubio, and 2020 RD2.4 Bojan Bogdanovic are all on the wrong side of thirty, and with FOBS getting better each year, it’s time to turn their sights toward a big move!
#6 FJUB Fat Jubas (12-7)
Eleven years, ten playoff appearances! FJUB has consistency been one of the better teams around but after a title in 2012, they haven’t really been true contenders for the most part. The same goes for this season, as they put up another twelve wins — their third in a row. Still, there are some accolades to hand out. FJUB led the league in defensive rating and Eric was the top ranked owner, with a third ranking in Games Played, second in moves (with twenty-seven), and those twelve wins, good for a fifth ranking. So good job there!
Chris Paul was reborn in Oklahoma City, while Jonas Valanciunas had a peak season in his new home of Memphis. CP3 and Jonas have been with Jubas for eight and seven years respectively, giving them one of the under-the-radar longest serving one-team keepers around. Unfortunately, this probably wasn’t FJUB’s year to win it all either, as they stumbled down the stretch with only two wins in five games — after an impressive 8-1 streak right before.
The potential title window here could be closing soon too, as Paul is thirty-five, new Rocket Robert Covington about to turn thirty, and both Jrue Holiday and Valanciunas approaching thirty as well. The good news is that 2020 RD3.10 Fred VanVleet is just entering his prime and coming off a career year, while rookie Eric Paschall could also contend for a keeper slot after a usage heavy first season in Golden State. Shout out to free agent pickups Shake Milton and Naz Reid too!
FJUB has been good but not great for awhile now, but maybe a bit of rejiggering could take them back to their glory days. Let’s hope they can do it!
#7 FUNK Funk Coalition (10-8-1)
After stringing together back-to-back postseason appearances last season, FUNK is officially out of the doldrums with their third straight playoff showing. After their first eight seasons of rarely touching 0.500, that’s definitely cause for celebration. Three-peat!
Even after putting up a third-“best” violations of six lineup mishaps, FUNK was able to pull it together down the stretch to go 5-1 -- all without Karl-Anthony Towns around and Jonathan Isaac lost for the season. It was the Jayson Tatum show down the stretch as he fulfilled his promise as KAT’s all-around running mate. Now the KAT, Tatum, and Trae Young core just needs some tinkering to potentially sniff contention status.
GM Jon made the only two in-season Slam trades this season — that’s embarrassing guys, c’mon! — and ended up with promising rookie Brandon Clarke to add to their frontline. Aside from Gordon Hayward, every other possible keeper is twenty-five or younger, so the future is bright for FUNK. Now if Towns could just stay healthy and not devolve into injury plagued Anthony Davis 2.0, there might be more success down the road for our friendly commish. Woohoo, Tatum!!!!
#10 SNAC Snack Bears (8-10-1)
A team with championship aspirations to start the season — on the heels of drafting Zion Williamson with 2020 RD1.1 — SNAC had a tanktastic start to the season as they went 1-7 and lost eight of their first ten matchups. Ah, but when Williamson came back and Nikola Vucevic and Kristaps Porzingis found their footing, it was a different story as they racked up a 6-2-1 over the back half of the year — although not one of those were versus a team with a winning record. That left them just outside the playoff picture.
SNAC finished the season with ODE splits of 7/5/8 — rising to 6/4/13 over the last month — which bodes well for them. Aside from some percentage and turnover issues, this team seems capable of having it all, with outstanding strengths in PTS and BLK when fully healthy.
Revisiting SNAC’s two big pre-draft deals, it could be argued that SNAC lost both of them, as Bam Adebayo emerged as a fantasy star (traded along with Blake Griffin for Vucevic) and Jaylen Brown arguably surpassed Richardson in value (that trade also included Wendell Carter going to HSTL). However, consolidation had to be done and it’s hard to beat Vucevic’s all around numbers. And of course, the core of Bradley Beal, De’Aaron Fox, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Vucevic, Porzingis, and Josh Richardson are top notch, so adding another lottery talent seems almost unfair. With a little tinkering, and some Zion health, there’s no way this team finishes so low again.
The one blemish heading into next season is SNAC’s thirteenth ranked Games Played, which could use some work next season. Could a new coaching philosophy help juice this team to contention?
#12 CMTO Cameltoe (5-12-2)
In CMTO’s four years in the league, they’ve racked up a whopping twenty wins, and are batting 0.263 — good for second worst owner record of all time. They ended the season on a 0-8-1 losing streak and had nary a highlight on the season, aside from WK7 and WK11 wins versus FOBS and SQSQ respectively. Despite some optimism at midseason, this franchise remains in the dumps.
Even a fully healthy season from Anthony Davis — and a fantasy MVP-esque season from Hassan Whiteside — can’t seem to change CMTO's fortunes. The real culprit here is the coaching from Felipe though, as they led the league with nine lineup violations and had the lowest GP at 398 — the league average is 461. With only 20.9 GP per week, it would be impossible for almost team to win consistently.
The good news is that there is some promising talent here. Aside from Davis and Whiteside, there’s still the potential of 2020 RD1.8 Jarrett Culver, sophomore Michael Porter Jr., and the mysterious in-and-out stylings of Marvin Bagley. The core also includes Buddy Hield, who is the lone above-average player in the backcourt. With another high pick coming up, CMTO will need to find some sort of point guard solution to move the franchise forward, but most of all they’ll need to get their lineups into the game!
#13 TRUO Truo Thien (5-13-1)
At the bottom of the Russell Conference, we have Thien, whose TRUO franchise has averaged 10.2 wins for over a decade. This past season's five total wins was definitely a nadir — coming off their first non-0.500 campaign in 2019 — but this is a coach that never slacks as Thien led the league in Moves again with 42 — second place was FJUB with 27 — and was top five in Games Played. Even in a losing campaign, “that’s how you play the game!”
Of course, going 1-7-1 over the back half of the season isn’t pretty but it’s been a tough injury season for TRUO all around. Jimmy Butler was a rock this year but Kemba Walker missed the last month, Mike Conley is either in precipitous decline or mostly washed, and Lauri Markkanen is starting to lose some of his promising shine.
Could the future portend a shift to a full rebuild? It’s hard to imagine some of this season’s stalwarts like Marcus Morris and Julius Randle repeating their numbers next year. Or can Thien unearth some gems with their next draft? TRUO has never found themselves near the bottom of the standings before so it’ll be interesting to see what they do moving forward. But organizations win championships and TRUO has been one of Slam’s best so we’re eager to see what they can cobble together to return to the postseason.
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