2018 Championship: Finally Chunky!

It's been a tough slog in Monkey-land for the past years.  After trading for LeBron James and Kyle Lowry in 2015, the Monkeys, despite a star-laden team, have catastrophically stumbled through the past three seasons.  They finally pieced it together this year.  The team put together a historic, almost perfect 20-1 season. James Harden and LeBron James were dueling MVP candidates. Harden averaged over 30.0 ppg, Clint Capela took a huge step forward averaging a 14 PTS /11 REB /2 BLK for the season and Marc Gasol, Kyle Lowry and Otto Porter all contributed significantly. On top of this, the Monkeys found solid performers in Kris Dunn and Caris Levert from the draft.  The roster was filled with All-Stars that performed at all-star levels and surrounded by a deep bench.  This had to be the year.

However, this was the Monkeys, the same team that flamed out in the first round in the past two years. This was also the very same Monkeys team that was staring down an incredibly dangerous Sour Snails team who had geared up specifically for this. Furthermore, the Snails had a slightly scheduling advantage for the Finals. Monkeys knew that history is often obdurate (ask Steven King).

But this season belonged to the Monkeys.  LeBron was the savior this time as he authored a signature season at the ripe old age of thirty-three and delivered his finest work for championship week. Chunky Monkeys was only able to muster twenty-three games for the week and LBJ played three of those games, including a back-to-back midweek. Those three games were enough, as James averaged a triple-double with 34.7 PTS, 10 REB, 10.3 AST and 3 3PT a game for the Finals.  James even shot 59% from the field and averaged nearly 39 minutes per game. This was punctuated by a historic game on Friday heading into the final weekend with a 44/11/11 triple-double. That gave Monkeys a 7-2 lead which turned out to be more than enough.

Before the playoffs, a hobbling Snails made a series of trades to bolster his chances for what would've been a historic four-peat. The Snails acquired Damian Lillard, Julius Randle, Isaiah Thomas, and Markieff Morris. Save for Thomas who got shelved for a hip injury shortly after being traded, Lillard, Randle and Morris all made significant contributions in the playoffs and allowed the Snails to fight their way to the championship game.

As for the Monkeys, the team was humming entering the playoffs -- it was nearly perfect in the regular season -- and the lead players were remarkably healthy. However, cracks started appearing in the playoffs with injuries hitting the bench including Kris Dunn who was shut down with a foot injury, Eric Gordon and Maurice Harkless, who were both signed for the playoffs, and JaMychal Green, all of whom made little to no contribution in the post-season due to various maladies. On top of that, Harden, Capela, and Gasol all increasingly had frequent rest days with the NBA playoffs approaching. Was the Chunky Curse coming back? There are no such thing as curses...

After an entertaining start to the week, Monkeys found themselves in the lead but needed to hang on. The seconds became minutes and the minutes became hours. Then Gasol delivered a huge 20/9/9 line on Sunday and the win was secured.

Looking back at the season, Monkeys had one of the best seasons of all time. They ranked first in the league across five categories and second on a sixth. Furthermore, Monkeys finished with the top performance in five categories all-time (going back to 2010), including breaking the all-time record for assists in the regular season with 2,973.  To give a sense of scale, the next highest number of team assists was Thien's High Riser team in 2015 with 2,625. This was the most dominant performance in a single season likely ever.

So what's next? The Monkeys are certainly aging -- have they peaked?  LeBron has stated he'll be back. So will Harden and Capela. But Monkeys management will have some big decisions coming this off-season. But this is why we play fantasy basketball! The team will leave that to the off-season.

Chunky Monkeys, at long last, champions!

(Full stats)

2018 Toilet Bowl: Back in the Muck

Well, what do you know, the best of the worst gets to become the best again. Swamp Dragons, after going 10-9 and taking the Toilet Bowl last season, has repeated in the consolation tournament by having an even better season than last year: 12-7-2. Narrowly edged out of a playoff spot, Eddie’s team managed to avoid upsets on they way to the Toilet Bowl finals and finished with a tough win in the Toilet Bowl win behind a huge AST week from Nikola Jokic and excellent shooting and rebounding across the board.

Already boasting a keeper core featuring Jokic, Paul George, newly acquired Gordon Hayward, Dennis Schroder, Andrew Wiggins, Jusuf Nurkic, emergent Taurean Prince, and last year’s #1 overall Markelle Fultz, GM Eddie will have to make some interesting off-season decisions. And with yet another loaded NBA draft coming up, that core should be more than enough to power Swamp Dragons into the playoffs next season.

Although, the Thundercats division has traditionally boasted three of the playoff teams from Russell Conference, and even with Spade falling to the bottom of the league, Funk Coalition rose up this past season, and Chunky Monkeys finally broke through and took a title. Could Swamp find themselves back in the Toilet Bowl finals for a third consecutive season?! Let’s hope not!

As for IL Conceived, a pretty successful rookie season spent resurrecting the old Jedi Knights franchise couldn’t have worked out more wonderfully for Frank, even as his team fell five AST and one BLK short of staging a come-from-behind victory. Still, securing a top two pick is tremendous, and that pick will help them add a potential superstar to a core that’s definitely on the rise behind rookies Donovan Mitchell and Dennis Smith Jr.

(Full stats)

Finals Preview: 2018

#1 Chunky Monkeys (20-1) vs #4 Sour Snails (10-11)
We’ve seen this matchup before, with one team dominating all season long while the other one had to scrap their way to the Finals after an injury plagued playoffs. Except, this time the roles are reversed! In 2010, the first year of SlamNation’s cycle reset, Snails had LeBron James, Josh Smith, Gerald Wallace — and a young Steph Curry — leading the way against Monkey’s ragtag group led by Chris Paul, Darren Collison, and um, Andrea Bargnani. Evan’s team snuck into that final game with small ball and now Trieu’s done the same eight years later.

Of course, it was the Laker duo of Brook Lopez and newly acquired Julius Randle that gave Snails the nail biting win on Sunday, by a mere 5 PTS and one STL. The rest of the roster here is pretty injured, with Stephen Curry out and Isaiah Thomas similarly shelved. Kevin Durant made a timely return to help take down upstart Fob Stars, and Curry’s fill-in, Quinn Cook, was incredible all week long. And while Damian Lillard, the other recent Snails addition, had to sit out a game last week for a birth, he’s back to racking up huge numbers and should put some scare into Monkeys’ title chances.

In fact, if you compare H2H from last week, Trieu’s team wasn’t that far off. A four-peat would absolutely destroy the competitive world of SlamNation -- did we mention Snails are defending three-peaters? -- so it looks like all that stands between us and that catastrophe is Evan’s team, led by none other than LeBron James…

Oh yes, this time out, LBJ is playing for the other side, having made his way from Sour Snails to two other teams before finally landing on Monkeys in 2015 and starting off Evan’s contention seasons. After two years at the top of SlamNation regular season, it’s time for Monkeys to get some hardware.

I mean, despite building a powerhouse team three years ago, Monkeys haven’t sniffed the Finals yet, losing in the first round from 2015-2018, to a variety of foes. This time out, they waltzed past Team Thien in the first round, shoved past So Buckets in the conference finals, and generally had an easy time heading to their second Finals appearance. After only losing one game all year, it’ll a huge disappointment if Monkeys can’t take the title this year.

After all, the Monkeys have two MVP candidates in LeBron James and James Harden, an additional one-two punch of Kyle Lowry and pre-playoff trade acquisition Eric Gordon, alongside Marc Gasol and Clint Capela in the front court. This team is much deeper (not to mention healthier) than Snails and if the time isn’t ripe for a title, Evan might as well blow it all up next year! Good luck gentlemen, it's the two SlamNation juggernauts facing off!

A tidbit from 2010: "There was some controversy during the [2010] Finals week as the Monkeys made a clerical error and filled their lineup to the max, negating their Sunday games. Gracious as ever, Snails' owner Trieu offered to count the crucial last few games, even though going by the strict letter of the law would have ensured a victory."

Toilet Bowl Preview: 2018

#1 Swamp Dragons (12-7-2) vs #3 IL Conceived (8-12-1)
What’s it feel like to be in the Toilet Bowl with back-to-back winning records? Well, owner Eddie would know! He landed back in the consolation bracket despite twelve wins and a proclamation last year that “[this could] likely this could be the last Toilet Bowl both franchises see in awhile” from last year's Toilet Bowl preview. Despite winning last year’s top pick, and selecting Markelle Fultz, Swamp Dragons are going after a repeat Toilet Bowl win — last pulled off by Funk Coalition in 2015-6.

Even after trading off three playable assets in Eric Gordon, Jeff Teague, and Robert Covington, Swamp still had the depth to get by both Spade and Cameltoe with relative ease — although Cameltoe, with Anthony Davis and budding rookie Josh Jackson, came close in STL and BLK. Even with Dennis Schroder sidelined — and Fultz unable to be activated off IR — Dragons should have more than enough depth to secure the top pick. And even if they lose, getting a #1 or #2 in another deep draft should put this team over the top and into the playoffs. Eddie can’t three-peat in the Toilet Bowl right? Right?!

As for IL Conceived, it’s been a dream Toilet Bowl run, as Frank’s plan to tank yielded a shocking eight wins — worst tank job ever — and trading off veteran assets didn’t exactly return immediate value. (Hi Jrue Holiday’s incredible injury-free career season!) Still, here we are, at a Toilet Bowl finals for Frank after a squeaker of a win versus Buffy by a handful of REB and STL.

IL Conceived is now poised to add a top two pick to their youth movement after an outstanding 2018 draft class that included Donovan Mitchell and Dennis Smith. Harrison Barnes, the return from that Holiday trade put up four huge games last week, punctuated by 30 points on Sunday, and he’ll lead the way along with Mitchell to see if they can get the right to pick anyone in the upcoming 2019 draft. It would be a nice capper to a rookie season for Frank to take a Toilet Bowl title, so let's see what he can do... where's Sister Jean when you need her?!

Playoffs / Toilet Bowl RD2: 2018

PLAYOFFS

Chamberlain Conference
#3 Fob Stars (10-10-1) vs #4 Sour Snails (10-11)
Do you call it an upset when the reigning champs take out the number one seed? I guess it still is one, as Sour Snails hit a last second 3PT to take the slim victory over Another Bad Creation — we were prescient in seeing another close game between these two.

As for Fob Stars, it really was an upset as the dark horse contender simply demolished division foe / recent winner Fat Jubas behind Kemba Walker and Ricky Rubio. Too bad for Eric, as he had loaded up just last week for a deep post-season run. Now Jimmy could be staring at a Finals appearance as Sour Snails has five of his top six guys injured and now it’s Damian Lillard versus the (Fob) world.

Russell Conference
#1 Chunky Monkeys (20-1) vs #2 So Buckets (14-6-1)
As expected, Chunky Monkeys won in a romp against down-and-out Team Thien. What’s unexpected is who Evan will be facing in the conference finals. Funk Coalition jumped out to a huge lead by mid-week and looked to be cruising to an easy upset. However, a lineup error froze Jon’s team at too many GP and So Buckets overcame momentary roster lock confusion — and a full slate of Sunday games — to sneak past Funk’s upset bid by one TO. Impressive stuff! Boo to Jon for his coaching snafu, I guess that’s what happens when your team is never in the post-season…


TOILET BOWL
Chamberlain Conference
#3 IL Conceived (8-12-1) vs #4 LA Buffy (3-16-2)
A double upset means one of these lower seeds will get a high pick next year. Awesome! IL Conceived had an easy time of it as Sager’s Suits and Ties hit the lineup cap a day early, sealing their fate. The game might have been competitive till the last drop, but we’ll never know now.

As for Buffy, it was an incredible upset against #1 ranked Squirtles as Coach Roger piloted them to a 6-3 win over Squirtle Squad / Giannis Antetokounmpo that featured less games played (by -3), less TOs (an incredible 22 to 54), yet somehow garnered more PTS and 3PT! All this with Klay Thompson, Brandon Ingram, Danilo Gallinari, Avery Bradley, and Domantas Sabonis unable to participate due to injury. Recent trade addition Kyle Kuzma and Austin Rivers combined to lead the soon-to-come LA resurgence!

#1 Swamp Dragons (12-7-2) vs #3 Team Cameltoe (5-15-1)
Team Spade put up more of a fight than we anticipated, but Swamp Dragons still took down the worst team in SlamNation in 2018 by simply having more games played. Spade will draft #3, and whoever the newcomer is will be a welcome addition to their core.

Swampies will be the only non-upset Toilet Bowl participant as Team Cameltoe took higher seeded Snack Bears to the limit and then dispatched them by a mere STL and a handful of PTS or 3PT on Sunday. A big upset here could give Anthony Davis the running mate he needs in a loaded draft, so here’s hoping Felipe finds some more Toilet Bowl magic and gets this win! Note: We see you back-in-action Markelle Fultz!!!…on the bench, unfortunately, due to our roster lock rules.

RD1 Toilet Bowl: 2018

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Squirtle Squad (9-10-2) vs #4 LA Buffy (3-16-2)
It’s been three long years out of the playoffs for Squirtle, and despite battling down to a third tie-breaker, they came up short again — a 0-7-1 record from WK10-17 certainly didn’t help matters. However, they’ll have a great shot at adding to their young core in a deep draft. The core of Giannis Antetokounmpo, underrated Nikola Vucevic, and recovering Zach LaVine ain’t bad, and GM Brian was able to find a gem in Bogdan Bogdanovic, MVP of the Rookie Game this year. In addition, signs of life from Mario Hezonja and newly invigorated Larry Nance Jr. are welcome too. Heck, even 2018 #2 overall pick Lonzo Ball has proven to be a worthy selection as he has become a AST/REB/STL monster, along with BLK and 3PT. Given another season, Ball could find his shot and become even more of a triple-double threat. It’s been a steady climb back up from three wins to eight to nine, and next year should put Squirtles back into post-season contention. But first, another blue chip piece...

Once a competitive presence in the division, Buffy has fallen upon hard times and hasn’t sniffed the playoffs since 2013. Since then they’ve had 5/8/9/7/3 wins and 2018 was a new nadir. The good news is that with such a terrible record, Buffy is guaranteed a top four pick in the draft. If they can pull themselves together, they could move up two or three slots. Two pre-playoff trades mean they’ll have Kyle Kuzma and (newly injured) Klay Thompson in the fold but this team is very banged up. With no star on the roster, Buffy desperately needs to draft one or hope that Brandon Ingram can be right on schedule as Lakers’ savior. (Also, did anyone know Jordan Clarkson was half-Filipino and formed an all Asian-American backcourt with Jeremy Lin a few years ago?!) Roger has been to the Toilet Bowl finals before — in 2016 — and he’ll hope to get there again to mine some talent.

#2 Sager’s Suits and Ties (9-11-1) vs #3 IL Conceived (8-12-1)
Just two years removed from a dispersal draft that seemed to tilt heavily in Team Cameltoe’s favor, SST has proven that his team is the one headed on an upward trajectory. Victor Oladipo has emerged as a world wrecking fantasy talent, while Bradley Beal has elevated himself to superstar status as well. The two new foundations for the team usurp Blake Griffin and Draymond Green, but together all four are quite a lovely core for Matt to build around. And let’s not forget Lou Williams, who has been one of the best scorers in the league and has served as the point guard for a team that had been traditionally devoid of one. Add in Steven Adams in the middle, plus a possible high pick next season, and there’s no way SST won’t be right in the thick of a playoff hunt — barring coach Matt’s inattention to the team... (Careful SlamNation watchers noticed that Beal sat on the bench for a month during his explosive post-All Star games.)

Ostensibly building for the future, IL Conceived found themselves on the fast track to success this season as rookie owner Frank hit on rookies Donovan Mitchell, Dennis Smith Jr, Jordan Bell, and more. A mid-season trade may have hampered their Toilet Bowl chances but IL Conceived still find themselves mighty competitive as they went 4-1 over their last five games. The emergence of Boby Portis post-Mirotic trade has been a delight and there seems to be plenty of young talent here for GM Frank to fiddle with and build into. An eight-win season after taking over a team that had won literally nothing for years has to count as a major success. An appearance in the Toilet Bowl finals and a chance to select a top NCAA player? That would just be icing on the cake!

Russell Conference
#1 Swamp Dragons (12-7-2) vs #4 Team Spade (2-19)
With twelve wins, plus another showing in the Toilet Bowl coming off a winning record, Swamp Dragons seems over qualified for the consolation bracket. Last year they won the whole thing and took Markelle Fultz, this year they’ll be heavy favorites to go back-to-back in the Toilet Bowl. A team teeming with depth, led by Paul George and Nikola Jokic, GM Eddie already moved spare pieces for draft picks and consolidated two more players into Gordon Hayward. A 7-1 closing record over the last two months may have left Swamp out of title contention but if they can’t get into the playoffs next year with a seemingly loaded roster, we’ll have to start an investigation. Also, shout out to Taurean “The Prince that was Promised” Prince, who just dumped 38 points twice in the span of a week...

For the first time in franchise history, stretching back two owners, Spade will not make the playoffs. After a two-win season, Spade might as well start researching who to draft next season, as Randall’s team has been rocked by injuries all year. A tight core could soon be up for a revamp. Then again, how do you improve on Kawhi Leonard, Devin Booker, Eric Bledsoe, Kevin Love, Paul Millsap, and Al Horford? We’re going to assume GM Randall has a plan for Spade next year, and maybe this was a strategic tank year, ala Tim Duncan Spurs, and Spade will return  to some glory next season. Maybe fire that training staff first though? (In related news, Randall is in med school….)

#2 Snack Bears (6-15) vs #3 Team Cameltoe (5-15-1)
When the going get tough, the big guy sits down. That’s been the story for Snack Bears over the past two seasons, as Kristaps Porzingis has suffered from injuries during the tail end of his NBA campaigns. With Porzingis out, it’s been all Dwight Howard can do to keep the team alive. In this era of pace and space, can Howard (admittedly a monster this year numbers wise) and Andre Drummond co-exist? There are signs that a young backcourt could be emerging, as Will Barton, Spencer Dinwiddie, and rookie De’Aaron Fox showed they could have keeper potential. Fellow rookies Jonathan Isaac and Bam Adebayo are probably a year or two away, and it looks like a Toilet Bowl run without Evan Fournier, Porzingis, and Marcus Smart could be tough to pull off. We’re curious what GM Brandon will have in mind for his off-season as the Snack Bears look to retool. We Bare Bears!

Is Anthony Davis a fantasy curse? For years, MoRRie’s Pogiboys couldn’t win with Davis in the middle, despite his near MVP-level numbers. The Brow has been incredible this season, staying relatively healthy also, but Cameltoe can’t seem to win much. After coming out of the gates 3-3, they followed that up with a 1-12-1 stretch before beating current Toilet Bowl matchup Snack Bears by one BLK. We want to say more help is coming for Cameltoe but if they can’t get into the TB Finals, the best they can hope for is the #5 pick in the 2019 draft. At least this year’s prize rookie, Joshua Jackson has picked up steam lately, as the athletic swingman is averaging 16.6 PTS, 5.9 REB, 1.3 STL per game over the past month. Fellow rookie Malik Monk is looking bust-like, and it’s an open question if he’ll be a keeper. The last two drafts yielded Jackson and Buddy Hield but more talent will have to come if Felipe wants Davis to reach the playoffs.

RD1 Previews: 2018

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Another Bad Creation (15-5-1) vs #4 Sour Snails (10-11)
After taking a first round upset last year, ABC is back with not only the #1 seed in Chamberlain but also a matchup with the new-look defending champs! The last time these two faced off in the playoffs was 2011, when Snails took down ABC by just one rebound, as Chuck Hayes fended off Andrew Bogut and JaVale McGee. Oh right, and Kevin Durant was playing for Another Bad Creation instead of Snails! Plus, Russell Westbrook wasn’t even on the scene yet, as Sour was still led by in scoring that week by um, Jordan Crawford (true story…)?!

With three straight Transformers titles, Oliver has established himself as the class of the division, but will have to lean on Westbrook -- now the ABC's franchise figure instead of Durant -- to power this team to a big win. LaMarcus Aldridge is better in the post than anyone Snails have, and there’s a nice collection of win-now veterans here, with Tyreke Evans, Dirk Nowitzki, and maybe Dwayne Wade. But with Snails looking like they’re going small ball, it could be quite the matchup here.

Crawling into a championship defense with a losing record is pretty interesting, especially when the team is coming off three straight titles. We had given Snails up for dead this year but with two major moves at the transaction deadline, Trieu has opened the door for a proper defense. However, since the time of those trades for Damian Lillard, Julius Randle, and Isaiah Thomas, half of Snails’ core has succumbed to injury. Steph Curry and Kevin Durant are both out, and the Warriors have no incentive to rush them back. Brook Lopez is also suddenly on the injury report. A title defense led by Curry and Durant is looking like it’ll be Dame plus some baby Laker vets in IT4, Lopez, and Randle... If Snails can pull of an upset here, they could be lurking with a return by their big two, which means the champs aren't out of it yet! Don’t let it happen Oliver, finish him!

#2 Fat Jubas (12-9) vs #3 Fob Stars (10-10-1)
Having done his part to put Sour Snails in a hole — by beating Trieu in WK21 — Eric’s goals are now to stay the course and get into another Finals. Adding Jeff Teague and Robert Covington will be a nice boost, and with Chris Paul and Jrue Holiday being arguably the best 1-2 point guard punch in SlamNation, Jubas are looking like a major contender. A frontline of Myles Turner, Jonas Valanciunas, and Pau Gasol pairs with the savvy backcourt, while Joe Ingles and Nicolas Batum provide all around glue guy plays. This is definitely the most balanced team in the conference, so let’s go find out what Coach Eric can do to pilot his team to the top.

After starting off 6-8-1, Fob Stars wasn’t expecting to make any postseason noise this season but I guess when a playoff berth falls into your lap, you take it! Jimmy’s team is heading into the postseason for the third year in a row — mirroring the third year in a row Silverhawks have sent three teams — but this is the first time they won’t have to face Sour Snails in the first round. That means Kemba Walker will finally have the chance to get a playoff win, and he’ll lead a ragtag group of heroes to do it. Tobias Harris has blossomed into a bonafide fantasy star out in Clipperland -- 21.4 PTS, 6.6 REB, 3.2 AST, 2.1 STL/BLK, 2.8 3PT, 49.8 FG% -- alongside center DeAndre Jordan, and the young duo of Jamal Murray and John Collins are also flashing plenty of promise. Even Ricky Rubio has returned to slinging AST, and while there aren’t any brand name stars here, Jimmy’s collection of knock-offs could be ready to knock off a division foe that barely edged them out for the title.

Russell Conference
#1 Chunky Monkeys (20-1) vs #4 Team Thien (13-7-1)
Last we checked in, Monkeys was 14-1 and rolling toward a regular season crown — just like last year. The Monkeys are ranked top two in every category except FT% and TOs, and boast not only dual MVP threats James Harden and LeBron James, but most importantly: health. Monkeys are one of the rare contenders whose stars are looking fully healthy, and the trade deadline addition of Eric Gordon will fill in for Kris Dunn if Dunn’s sprained toe proves bothersome. We won't bother going through all of Evan's accolades from this season as there's only one thing that matters: the ring!

After getting upended by a #4 seed in the first round last year, Monkeys basically will get a bye this week as Thien's team is all injured. Post-trading away two healthy bodies in Damian Lillard and Julius Randle, Thien’s entire keeper core has a big red “O” next to their names: John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Butler, Conley, Gary Harris, and Lauri Markkanen. Carmelo Anthony ain't going to lead this squad to an upset and so Thien will walk away from 2018 knowing that they developed a nice rookie in Markkanen, and will hope for better health next year.

#2 So Buckets (14-6-1) vs #3 Funk Coalition (13-7-1)
After a three year hiatus, So Buckets have regained the Voltron divisional crown, beating Team Thien in the last week of the regular season to do so. Now Josh’s attention can focus on the postseason, knowing they will be unlikely to face the team that eliminated them last season -- Thien’s Young Gunn’s -- if they get past Funk Coalition in the first round. Unfortunately, star Kyrie Irving is looking dinged up and there’s no timetable for his return, opening up the door for an upset. However, Joel Embiid is healthy and he’ll have DeMar DeRozan and CJ McCollum to help him out, along with Rudy Robert, Dario Saric, a still rounding into form Jabari Parker, and also the recently en fuego Jonathon Simmons. Will it be enough to get past the first round? Probably! Can So Buckets then take down Chunky Monkeys again? Behind The Process, anything can happen....

After years of terrible teams that were constantly injured or underperforming, Funk has finally found the formula, notching their first winning record and earning their second playoff appearance (first one was in 2011). Karl-Anthony Towns will face off with Embiid in the middle and likely ROY Ben Simmons will look to dominate with his triple double goodness. However, there doesn’t seem to be quite enough firepower here, even with Khris Middleton coming onboard to replace the just injured Klay Thompson. Funk might have to walk away from this season knowing that at least now have they have some talent to usher them into a new era behind KAT, Simmons, Jayson Tatum and Josh Richardson.

Playoff & Toilet Bowl Seedings: 2018

PLAYOFFS

*= divison winner

Chamberlain Conference

#1 Another Bad Creation (15-5-1)*
#2 Fat Jubas (12-9)*
#3 Fob Stars (10-10-1)
#4 Sour Snails (10-11)

Russell Conference
#1 Chunky Monkeys (20-1)*
#2 So Buckets (14-6-1)*
#3 Funk Coalition (13-7-1)
#4 Team Thien (13-7-1)


TOILET BOWL
Chamberlain Conference
#1 Squirtle Squad (9-10-2)
#2 Sager’s Suits and Ties (9-11-1)
#3 IL Conceived (8-12-1)
#4 LA Buffy (3-16-2)

Russell Conference
#1 Swamp Dragons (12-7-2)
#2 Snack Bears (6-15)
#3 Team Cameltoe (5-15-1)
#4 Team Spade (2-19)

Tie Breakers (rules)
• Sour Snails vs Squirtle Squad: To determine Chamberlain Conference wild card. Overall record (0.475 tied), H2H (1-1 tied), conference record (7-7 for both, tied), and finally “most categories won for season” which resulted in 96 for Snails and 86 for Squirtles. Result: Sour Snails is in the post-season, Squirtles is in the Toilet Bowl. 

• Funk Coalition vs Team Thien: No H2H matchups, Funk was 8-6-1 for conference while Thien was 8-6. Third tiebreaker is "most categories won for season” and Funk had 105 while Thien had 97. Result: Funk receives #2 seed in Russell Conference playoffs, Team Thien is the #3 seed.

Final Standings 2018

(Full Standings)

Making Money Moves

There’s always a lot of pre-postseason trades happening and this year was a deadline filled doozie! Let’s not bury the lede here, as Sour Snails, our three time defending champs and suffering from an injury plagued year, looked like they might be headed to the Toilet Bowl. Instead, Trieu got off the mat and swung two huge trades that might have given Snails new life for a proper title defense.

Trade ID#83:
• Sour Snails receive Damian Lillard, Julius Randle
• Team Thien receives Jimmy Butler, Mike Conley

Trade ID#84:
• Sour Snails receive Isaiah Thomas, Markieff Morris
• Buffy receives Kyle Kuzma, Derrick Favors

As if we thought last year’s mega-bomb trades were impressive, Trieu went out and turned all his injured assets into healthy players and maybe even upgraded his keeper core to boot! Damian Lillard has been out of his mind, averaging 29.3 PTS, 6.3 AST, 3.8 3PT in his last month of games. His return to Snail-land means he’ll slide in for the duo of Mike Conley and Jimmy Butler, who were both effectively out for the fantasy playoffs — Conley has only played twelve games total this year. And Julius Randle has been incredibly lately too, with 21.6 PTS, 10.3 REB, 60.2 FG% in his most recent month of playing. That’s two injured stars for one-and-a-half!

As if that wasn’t enough, Trieu swung for the fences again, dealing rookie sensation Kyle Kuzma (and Derrick Favors, the payback from his mid-season deal off of Jason Richardson) for maligned former All-Star Isaiah Thomas and Markieff Morris. While IT4 has had a rough season, t’s inarguable that he’s sort of back to form with his stay on the Lakers, averaging 17.3 PTS, 5.6 AST, 2.3 3PT, albeit on 38.2 FG%, during his past few weeks. While losing Kuzma was painful after stealing him in the draft, GM Trieu decided to gamble on Isaiah’s return to health. After these two deals, Sour Snails are back in title contention with an explosive roster…but first they have to make the playoffs.

As for Team Thien, why do this? A playoff spot was all but locked up, a possible division title, and at first glance this seemed like a deal that was designed to only tank — but with no reward. However, with DeMarcus Cousins tearing an ACL, John Wall sitting pretty on the WAS bench, and even Gary Harris dinged up, GM Thien decided to wisely fold up shop and wait for next year. He gets two star guards in return for Lillard — Butler is 28, Conley is 30 — and will walk away from a title run.

And then we have Buffy, who surprised us all with the IT4 deal which flipped an old Laker for a young one, and gives Roger Brandon Ingram and Kuzma to play with his team. (Is Lonzo Ball next?!?) We like this move for Buffy, as they needed to get younger and IT4’s situation was dicey at best. Kuzma has cooled off considerably but is still averaging a sweet 14.1 PTS, 7.8 REB, 2.3 3PT during his last month. Favors will just be a throw-in, but he’ll get the chance to play in Toilet Bowl action. This leads to our next deal involving Buffy...

Trade ID#85:
• Buffy receive Klay Thompson, Nikola Mirotic
• Funk Coalition receive Khris Middleton

Roger received Klay Thompson (although injured right after) and Mirotic, which bolsters his long range shooting. As one of the steadiest performers in the game, Klay gonna Klay, averaging 19.7 PTS and 3.1 3PT plus sterling percentages across the board. Mirotic had been a minor revelation on the Bulls, and he has been almost as good on New Orleans, making him a possible keeper replacement for the likes of Danilo Gallinari.

Middleton joins the newly competitive Funk Coalition, proving himself healthy with season averages of 20.0 PTS, 5.2 REB, 4.0 AST, and 1.8 3PT. Whether Middleton shines as an NBA All-Star or not, he’ll prove a more versatile part of Funk than Thompson.

Trade ID#87:
• Swamp Dragons receive Chunky Monkeys 2019 RD2 and 2020 RD4
• Chunky Monkeys receive Eric Gordon, Swamp Dragons 2019 RD4

And let’s not forget the current regular season champ’s counterpunch, as Chunky Monkeys added Eric Gordon for the price of a few picks. We’re pretty sure Evan sweated it up after Trieu’s monster moves, and he decided to bolster his roster by adding 18.0 PTS and 3.1 3PT to his playoff team, just to make sure they could keep up with Snails’ new look roster. Will it be enough to topple the champs? We’ll have to find out!

Mid-Season 2018: Thundercats

An odds-on title winner runs rampant, momentarily stopped by a family member, while a former bottom dweller finally emerges from the depths. [Pre-season 2018]

Chunky Monkeys (14-1)
For awhile there, Evan’s team threatened to go undefeated this regular season, before getting upended by cousin Eddie in WK14. That’s good news I guess. The bad news for the rest of SlamNation is that James Harden is back and he just dropped a historic sixty-point triple double… Since building a super team two years ago, Monkeys have been focused on only one goal, the championship, so all this regular season success won’t mean much to their fans. After getting bounced in the first round after a one-loss season last year, coach Evan needs to stay focused. Let’s hope he doesn’t have any vacations schedule for April this year…

Returning a duo of Harden and LeBron James gives Monkeys the top two MVP candidates, and even with Kyle Lowry struggling, the emergence of sophomore Kris Dunn has given this team even more backcourt dominance. Moving on from Serge Ibaka to Clint Capela was also the right choice, keeper wise, as Capela is having a breakout season. With two MVP candidates, a strong frontline (Capela, Marc Gasol), a plethora of useful wings (Otto Porter Jr., Caris LeVert, Allen Crabbe) — not to meant a weakened Sour Snails, and injuries to DeMarcus Cousins and John Wall for Thien’s team — this version of the Monkeys better win the title! Or else...

Funk Coalition (10-4-1)
Despite commissioning this league for years and years, Jon’s team hasn’t had a winning season until now. In a stunning twist, Funk Coalition is actually good! They’re middle of the pack in most categories, lead the league in FG%, and are poised for their second playoff appearance. The payoff of winning two straight Toilet Bowls is finally here, as Karl-Anthony Towns and ROY candidate Ben Simmons are both franchise cornerstones.  This year’s draft also brought in a fine rookie, Jayson Tatum, who has flashed star potential from early on.

And while keepers Derrick Favors and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope have been wildly inconsistent, the return of Nikola Mirotic and the mid-season trade for Josh Richardson has replaced them in the lineup to delightful results. Freed from the albatross of punting four/five categories, Funk is on a month long winning streak and if D’Angelo Russell can find a way to return to his early season success, Jon’s team of many wings plus KAT and Simmons could finally make some noise in something other than the Toilet Bowl!

Swamp Dragons (7-6-2)
After winning a Toilet Bowl, the expected return is a franchise level player. Well, Eddie didn’t exactly get that. Instead he got the mystery that is Markelle Fultz and Swamp management must be regretting the decision to not grab Dennis Smith Jr., as previously considered. While Swamp waits to see what it has in Fultz, the climb back to contention continues, and with a 5-1 record in recent weeks — including four wins against top teams — this team is right on track.

The strong and diverse core of Paul George, Nikola Jokic, Dennis Schroder, Andrew Wiggins, Robert Covington, and Jusuf Nurkic bring a great balance to the team. The mid-season trade for Jeff Teague has filled in the hole left by the presumptive point guard of the future, and Eric Gordon is more than qualified to be the seventh-best player on this team. Add in the intriguing Taurean Prince and Swamp may not even need Fultz to play this season to escape the Toilet Bowl after three straight appearances. Although getting a glimpse of the #1 overall pick would be nice...

Team Spade (2-13)
After four straight seasons in the playoffs, Randall is headed toward his first Toilet Bowl since entering the league. The least number of wins Spade has had in those seasons has been twelve, and with only two wins so far, it’s likely Spade is slotted into our worst record for the seasons already. Why the dramatic fall? As always: injuries.

Kawhi Leonard has played nine games, Paul Millsap sixteen, Reggie Jackson and Dion Waiters have missed time. Kevin Love just broke his hand again. Ouch ouch ouch. Currently we’re seeing five “O” designations on this team and three “DTDs.” A full 75% of this team is hurt! Is it time for Randall to consider moving away from his stellar keeper core, or is it just about waiting for the perfect moment when everyone comes back healthy to challenge for a title? Unfortunately, the only title Spade will be fighting for is a Toilet Bowl one this year. But if they can win a high pick, this team could be right back to title contention in a hurry.

Mid-Season 2018: Silverhawks

While there aren't any positional changes at first glance, once we dig in we'll see that Silverhawks are suddenly competitive as a division again, from top to bottom! [Pre-season 2018]

Sour Snails (9-6)
With six total losses, the Snails have lost more this season than their last FOUR seasons combined. They haven’t dipped to five-plus losses since 2013, which was way before their current streak of three-peat championships. Are the defending champs on the ropes? After busting out of the gate 4-1, Trieu’s team has been playing 0.500 ball, and are even on a two-game losing streak. Most troubling is that Snails only rank top two in FT% and Moves, which is weird since we’re used to seeing them dominate the leaderboard in just about every category.

While the trio of Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, and Jimmy Butler are still awesome, the insane depth here has been chipped away due to injury (Mike Conley), ineptitude (Nerlens Noel), and a change of scenery (Brook Lopez, averaging only 11.8 PTS) -- all three were trade acquisitions last year. Rookie Kyle Kuzma is leading this team in GP, and without his bright spark, we dare say that Snails would be floundering in total this season! However, a champ is still a champ until dethroned, so let’s not bury Trieu’s squad just yet...

Fat Jubas (8-7)
Chasing Snails for a division title is Jubas, who is coming off some struggles themselves, despite a winning record. They’ve already outpaced last year’s five-loss season, and with the early season loss of Gordon Hayward — plus a dozen missed games from Chris Paul — Jubas started off 2-4 before righting the ship recently and going through a four game win streak. A mid-season trade for Jrue Holiday has been a godsend as Holiday has helped steady the backcourt with career numbers, and strangely, Joe Ingles, Pau Gasol, and Robin Lopez have been the tops in GP for Eric’s team. Jubas play a slow paced, defense first, game, and they can only hope that the recent return of Myles Turner can push them toward a fight for a Silverhawks title.

Fob Stars (6-8-1)
It looks like Fob Stars is treading water, headed toward a 0.500 record yet again, and without much hope for a post-season berth. A recent loss to one-win Spade has to be bad for team morale, but perhaps the newly traded Tobias Harris can pump his career best numbers even higher in Clipperland. And there are other bright spots on this team. Namely the semi-emergence of Jamal Murray, who has been playing great recently, and the drafting of rookie John Collins, who projects to be a double double machine soon.

Collins and DeAndre Jordan form a nice bouncy duo up front, and Kemba Walker is still one of the most underrated fantasy assets around. And Walker is only twenty-seven, which is still quite young. The inexplicable collapse of Ricky Rubio’s AST numbers hurts Fob Stars though, and it looks like this middling team will continue to rebuild and tread water. Toilet Bowl anyone?

IL Conceived (4-10-1)
It’s already been quite a year for our rookie owner, Frank. It took only one month to match former Jedi Knight’s record of one-win (in two previous seasons, Jedi went 1-36-1 overall), and IL Conceived actually hit 0.500 — including knocking off Sour Snails in WK6 — and looked poised to grab a post-season berth. Then the injuries hit, Aaron Gordon cooled off from supernova status, and IL Conceived pivoted back to a youth focused future.

A mid-season trade of Jrue Holiday and Jeff Teague for Harrison Barnes and Jaylen Brown is a long term strategy, and with a 0-5-1 record recently, Frank’s team is headed straight for the Toilet Bowl. Oh, but this team is highlight friendly! Rookie point guards Dennis Smith Jr. and Donovan Mitchell are high fliers, Gordon and Brown are both rim rockers, and then there’s fellow rookie Jordan Bell, who also dunks like a maniac. Many owners are regretting not nabbing Mitchell in RD1, letting him slip to RD2, and now he’s headed toward a ROY fight with Ben Simmons.

With five of the six dispersal draft picks looking good — sorry Justise Winslow — the foundation has been set for IL Conceived to compete quickly, and with an astonishingly exciting backcourt to boot!

Mid-Season 2018: Voltron

It’s the same old same old for Voltron division this year, with the exact #1-4 from last season intact. [Pre-season 2018]

Red Dagger (8-3-1)
It’s no surprise to see Thien atop the the standings here, as Red Dagger is once again a leading contender for a Russell Conference title. Having gone all-in before the season with the trade for Carmelo Anthony, this year is ring-or-bust for Thien. Unfortunately, OKC Melo hasn’t been quite as advertised, even though he’s still putting up pretty (inefficient) good numbers. The backslide story continues with John Wall, who has been both injured and lessened somewhat. No matter because Gary Harris has delivered in spades so far this season with 16.7 PTS, 2.2 3PT, 1.9 STL, on 49.0 FG%. He’s picked up the slack for Melo and Wall, and let’s not forget this team still features DeMarcus Cousins and Damian Lillard.

It’s unfortunate Patrick Beverly got hurt though, as he was having a find season as well. But hey, when you’re good, you're good, as Thien added rookie sharpshooter Lauri Markkanen, nice backups in Justin Holiday and Jeremy Lamb, and continues to build depth through constant digging on the free agent wire. This Dagger is headed straight for another playoffs!

So Buckets (7-4-1)
With seven wins already, Josh’s team is likely headed to a playoff spot too, even if digging into their record reveals a team that’s been mostly beating up on the weaker teams. Still, this is a squad ranked second in PTS, which is impressive isn’t it? There’s four prime time scorers on this team: DeMar DeRozan, Kyrie Irving, Joel Embiid, and CJ McCollum. All four are fantasy studs, and now DeRozan has added a three point shot too. Add in sophomore Dario Saric being able to carve out a role in Philly still — 17.6 PTS, 7.3 REB, 3.7 AST, 2.4 3PT, 1.1 STL — and it’s been kind of okay that Rudy Gobert has only suited up for half the available games. With such a strong core — don’t forget Jabari Parker waiting on IR — So Buckets could be poised to take on the big boys in the second half of the season. Remember, this was the team that upset Russell juggernaut Chunky Monkeys in RD1 of the playoffs last year!

Team Cameltoe (3-9)
We’re not sure what happened here. We thought Cameltoe was headed toward major success after a fantastic dispersal draft that gave rookie owner Felipe a competitive roster from the start. Instead, a late season slide last year has more or less continued this season as they are currently on a six game losing streak. How does a team with Anthony Davis and Hassan Whiteside rank last in REB?! (This team also ranked last in REB, AST, moves, and second-to-last in STL.) Sure, both injury prone big men have missed some games but that’s part of their charm.

Buddy Hield has been okay as a deep threat, Elfrid Payton still does his Rondo-lite impression, and Darren Collison still has a starting job, so things shouldn’t be this bad. JJ Redick has been excellent in Philadelphia too. Of course, maybe this is part of Felipe’s plan, as he waits on rookies Josh Jackson, Malik Monk, and IR stashed Harry Giles to grow up? Still, a stellar 2017-18 NBA rookie class and Cameltoe hasn’t had any of his three hit yet... Patience, patience!

Snack Bears (2-10)
Speaking of rookies that haven’t quite popped, De’Aaron Fox, drafted fourth this past year in SlamNation, has been outplayed by quite a few rookies already. It was expected that Fox may not shoot well from the get-go, but his Super Saiyan speed and copious amounts of available playing time in Sacramento was supposed to give him more than 10.1 PTS and 4.0 AST per game right? Same thing with rookie Jonathan Isaac, who was pitched as a versatile swingman, but hasn’t flashed much of anything. So yeah, Snack Bears is headed to another Toilet Bowl, and possibly the worst record in the league.

The thing is, we like this team! Kristaps Porzingis has evolved another level, Andre Drummond can hit free throws now (a clear trade win for Snack post-mega deal), Dwight Howard is averaging a shocking 15.7 PTS, 12.1 REB, 1.2 BLK on 53.5 FG%, Marcus Smart and Rajon Rondo fit this "no PTS by design" team, and Will Barton has been very useful alongside Evan Fournier. Go up and down this roster and it should all spell out more than two wins. We haven’t even mentioned Spencer Dinwiddie, who has been on a tear in Brooklyn recently. We know this is a weird team, set to tank certain categories, but it would seem like there’s enough talent here to gather up for a proper Toilet Bowl run. Let’s hope Brandon can get it together and earn a top pick in next year’s draft!

Mid-Season 2018: Transformers

A division that gave us no winning teams last year is back on the rise! [Pre-season 2018]

Another Bad Creation (9-3)
After falling into a division title despite a losing record, ABC is here to prove that last year was no fluke. Jostling for a three-peat division title, Oliver’s team is positioned as the best team in Chamberlain Conference so far, which is quite an accomplishment. A full year of Russell Westbrook has helped the team, as well as the re-emergence of LaMarcus Aldridge. But the one key factor that can’t be overlooked is the incredible play of Tyreke Evans, who has been averaging 19.7 PTS, 5.1 REB, 4.7 AST, 2.2 3PT, and 1.1 STL per game, with good percentages too. That’s some superstar level production at a cheap price from the draft. Add in the PTS/REB from Enes Kanter, TJ Warren’s scoring prolificacy, and this team isn’t all that worried about Dirk Nowitzki and Dwayne Wade fading out. Currently on an eight game winning streak, Another Bad Creation looks to be headed for another (hopefully deep) playoff run!

Sager’s Suits and Ties (8-4)
What a surprise! Coming off a rookie year in which Matt only won four games, we assumed 2018 would be a rebuilding year. How wrong we were! SST came to play this season and despite injuries to preseason starting point guard Jeremy Lin, they’ve compiled a stellar record — with all four losses coming 4-5 also — and are for their first division title. What’s going on exactly? One word: Oladipo! Victor Oladipo was the fourth pick in 2017's dispersal draft but he’s elevated himself to (fantasy) superstar levels with 24.5 PTS, 5.2 REB, 4.1 AST, 2.7 3PT, 1.9 STL, 1.0 BLK, and 49.2 FG%. I had to write that all out because how many shooting guards have such incredible numbers? Alongside that, Lou Williams is contributing his usual points and threes, plus the continued good health of Bradley Beal has given SST a killer shooting guard lineup. Sure, Blake Griffin has been dinged up and Draymond Green has taken a dip with his scoring (again), but with so much firepower from the guards, Matt is headed toward a dramatic turnaround.

Squirtle Squad (6-6)
A 4-1 start had us thinking Squirtles was going to ride Giannis Antetokounmpo back to respectability after an eight-win season last year but like the real life Bucks, The Greek Freak may be lacking in some teammate help. It’s been three straight losses for Brian’s squad, albeit against top competition, and it’ll be a battle to get into the playoffs. The recent injury to Nikola Vucevic — who added a lovely 1.4 3PT this season — isn’t going to help. In addition, sophomore keepers Marquese Chriss and Thon Maker have both taken steps back and any promise they showed might be gone soon. The great news is that this year’s prize rookie, Lonzo Ball, the return on making the Toilet Bowl finals, has been much better the last month, averaging 13.9 PTS, 7.7 REB, 7.2 REB, 2.8 3PT, 1.8 STL, and 0.9 BLK, albeit still on horrific shooting. With Ball getting better, Giannis being Giannis, and the soon to be returned Zach LaVine, Squirtles will settle in for a wild card battle for the playoffs, or maybe they’ll sink back into the Toilet Bowl and try to get another high pick?

LA Buffy (2-9-1)
After three seasons of dipping in and around 0.500, the wheels have fallen off the Buffy wagon after starting off 1-6. We knew it would be a rough ride with Isaiah Thomas out, but Danilo Gallinari, George Hill, and Austin Rivers have all missed time too. At least Khris Middleton has been healthy and doing fantastic with a well-balanced and robust stat line as a sneaky great swingman! And Domantas Sabonis has surprised after being freed from OKC, dumping in nice rebounds, points, and field goal percentage.Plus, sophomore Brandon Ingram is looking very solid with 16.1 PTS, 5.4 REB, 3.3 REB, and 0.8 STL/BLK a game. There’s a decent mix of young and old here but health is the major factor. If IT4 has a big second half, and this team gets a bit more healthy, Buffy will have a puncher’s chance in the Toilet Bowl, which would be his fifth straight appearance…

Rivalry Week: WK11

Okay so Rivalry Week didn’t exactly take off did it? We only had two or three teams call each other out so in lieu of actually doing that, I just set up some logical rivalry matchups!

LA Buffy (2-7-1) vs Fat Jubas (4-6)
Roger and Eric are both multiple title winners in our long running fantasy football league, Catch the Damn Ball, so it makes sense they’ll want to extend their competition to the gridiron.

Swamp Dragons (3-5-2) vs So Buckets (6-3-1)
Eddie and Josh entered the league at the same time, in 2012, and will forever be linked in SlamNation lore, so this one will be for bragging rights!

Chunky Monkeys (10-0) vs Funk Coalition (6-3-1)
Longtime friends, but rarely rivals, except on the fantasy field, Jon wants to take out Evan and have three shots at usurping the current undefeated team in the league...

Squirtle Squad (6-4) vs Another Bad Creation (7-3)
Another longtime football pairing, Brian and Oliver have competed over titles in Maize and Blue and these two division-mates are currently running #1 and #2 in Transformers division so let’s give them another matchup!

Sour Snails (7-3) vs Red Dagger (7-2-1)
Brother versus brother, again. This time, defending champs Trieu are vulnerable while Thien and his Red Dagger team fueled up in the off-season a championship run!

Sager’s Suits and Ties (6-4) vs Team Cameltoe (3-7)
Having just joined us in 2017, Felipe and Matt are newish owners still looking for some sustained success. With Felipe’s team undergoing a thorough rebuild, but Matt’s team emerging from a 4-15 rookie season to six wins already this year, this will be a battle to watch.

Team Spade (1-9) vs Snack Bears (1-9)
I mean, the two one-win teams have to match up right? How has Randall been so bad with such a good keeper core? And how can Brandon right the ship after a disastrous early season?

IL Conceived (4-5-1) vs Fob Stars (3-6-1)
Another Chinese school pairing, new owner Frank and Jimmy have been at it for years! Now they fight to get out of the SlamNation cellar and maybe one of them can secure an edge for the Toilet Bowl!

Schedule 2018: Updated Master Schedule

After yet another schedule snafu, our commissioners went back in and fixed the old schedule, giving it a color refresh and making sure the matrix looks correct. So while 2018's WK4-8 matchups are messed up, everything moving forward should be juuuuust right! We added an exciting WK11 "Rivalry Week" this year, so we're waiting for those matchups to come up. Use it as an opportunity to call out your favorite frenemy or maybe to avenge a close loss!

[ Schedule Matrix ]

Here is our schedule explained in as plain English as possible. Note: In past years we ran 19 regular season weeks, but this year it was expanded to 21 by the NBA schedule makers.

Our league’s 16 teams are split into two conferences — Russell and Chamberlain. The 8 teams in each conference are split into two divisions (C: Transformers / Silverhawks and R: Thundercats / Voltron); every division has four teams.

• Division Games (6): Every team plays six games against the other three teams in its division, facing off twice per season
• Intra-Conference Games (4): Every team plays one game against each of the four teams from the other division within its conference
• Out-Of-Conference Games (8): Every team plays one game against each of the eight teams from the other conference
• Strength of Schedule Games (2): Every team plays its remaining two games, aka “extra,” against two intra-conference teams as determined by the previous season’s standings. The #1 finisher from a division will play #1 and #3 from the intra-conference division, while the #4 finisher from the previous season faces the #2 and #4 finishers from the opposing intra-conference division
• Rivalry Games (1): Every team plays one rivalry game, usually WK11, if the schedule allows

Is there strength of schedule involved?
Yes. But very slight. And it’s mostly in the intra-conference games, where the #1 finishers from each division face the opposing inter-conference division #1 and #3 seeds twice — the two extra conference games referenced above — making their overall schedule slightly tougher.

On the flip side, if you’re a lowly #4 seed in your division, you would play the #2 and #4 seeds from the other conference for your extra games, resulting in a slightly different schedule. Make sense?

Every season should unfold like this:
• The regular season opens with two intra-conference games versus the two teams you’ll face again -- in WK17/18 -- these are the two Strength of Schedule games
• There are four out-of-conference games in each of the season’s two halves -- divided between WK 1-10 and WK11-20. There are slightly more intra-conference games in the season’s first half and more division games in the season’s second half.
• Division Games are usually, assuming twenty-one week season: WK3, 8, 14, 19, 20, 21
• Most importantly, the season closes with three straight matchups against your division mates, giving us an exciting end of season race for division champs

Note: We're not using "intra" vs "inter" because it's too confusing. Technically out-of-conference games are "inter-conference games" but we're just gonna say "out-of-conference."

Forever Young

Looking to make a splash after his wildly successful start to the season —  IL Conceived started off 0-3 but then ripped off three straight wins, tripling the number of wins previous franchise Jedi Knights had acquired in 2016-7 combined (a paltry 1-37 record) — new owner Frank moved quickly to trade away the only two veterans from his dispersal draft: Jrue Holiday and Jeff Teague.

After many discussions and strategy sessions, it was decided that the time to move Holiday and Teague was now, in a classic old for young swap, as IL Conceived’s small ball team was um, winning too much. The two vets were clogging up playing time for IL Conceived's prize rookie point guards: Donovan Mitchell and Dennis Smith Jr. For example, Teague was averaging 13.8 PTS, 7.5 AST, 1.6 STL, and 1.5 3PT for a nice fourth banana role in his new Minnesota home while Jrue Holiday was putting up 16.7 PTS, 5.6 AST, 4.3 REB, 1.3 3PT down in New Orleans.

With the kids ready for more minutes, IL Conceived looked to balance out their roster and cash in their month-old franchise leaders for some more upside guys. Enter Harrison Barnes and Jaylen Brown. At just twenty-five years old, Barnes has established himself as a consistent high volume scorer at 18.5 PTS, along with 7.6 REB. Rumors swirled pre-draft that Barnes was on the way out in Jubas-land and now he’s finally gone.

The real upside play for IL Conceived was nabbing Jaylen Brown, who was gotten on the cheap in RD5 by Swamp Dragons just a few weeks ago. The versatile sophomore has taken advantage of Gordon Hayward’s injury to get lots of floor time and has looked on the verge of a breakout. (Of course, he has been awful post-trade for IL Conceived…) Brown is playing over thirty minutes a game and putting up 14.8 PTS, 1.8 3PT, and 5.9 REB.

With the old vets Jrue (27 yrs old) and Jeff (29) gone, IL Conceived is now even younger than before,, and has pivoted entirely behind the Aaron Gordon, Dennis Smith, and Donovan Mitchell trio. Or will more trades be forthcoming now that new owner Frank has an itchy trigger finger?!

Trade ID#80:

• IL Conceived trades Jeff Teague to Swamp Dragons in exchange for Jaylen Brown

Trade ID#81:

• IL Conceived receive Harrison Barnes, Ersan Ilyasova, Jubas 2019 RD2 in exchange for Jrue Holiday, Tyler Johnson, IL Conceived 2019 RD5

For Jubas, adding Jrue Holiday gives the team a sudden boost in veteran guard savvy with the additional return of Chris Paul to the lineup. After the recent return of Rajon Rondo in New Orleans, Holiday has actually upped his scoring average to 21.4 PTS in his last two weeks as more of a scoring option. Eric also adds flamethrower Tyler Johnson to the perimeter and could use him for some additional outside shooting. Giving up a 2019 RD2 was the cost of improving now as Jubas fights for a playoff spot -- against the very same IL Conceived franchise!

As for Swamp Dragons, the slow starting NBA career of 2018 #1 overall Markelle Fultz (and the team's own slow start) prompted GM Eddie to make the high value move of Jaylen Brown, a RD5 pick, for a productive veteran right now. Teague will immediately lead Dragons in AST and team with Dennis Schroder to make a nice one-two punch as the playmakers in the backcourt.

Chamberlain 2018: Silverhawks

IL Conceived (0-18-1)
The good news is that it shouldn’t be difficult to improve on Jedi Knight’s two year record of 0-18-1 and 1-18 in 2016/7. I mean, one win will tie and two wins will already put new owner Frank on better footing than the previous regime. With a 24-115-5 record in eight seasons, no playoff experience, and a history of in-season mismanagement, IL Conceived will need an entire culture overhaul. It’s a good thing Frank's enthusiastic! The bad news is that getting even two wins might be difficult here. I mean, the best player on the six man core might be Tim Hardaway Jr, who signed a huge off-season contract and should now get all the shots he wants in New York. Youngish vets Jeff Teague and Jrue Holiday are around to steady the backcourt, and there’s immense promise with Aaron Gordon and Willie Cauley-Stein in the frontcourt but they might also just be perpetually on the verge. Justise Winslow was picked up for his defensive upside, but he still can’t shoot. And that’s that on the keeper situation.

However, Dennis Smith Jr. is here! With the third overall pick, Frank grabbed Smith, who was rumored to be considered for the #1 and #2 overall picks. In the end, IL Conceived could have grabbed the kind of superstar that could jumpstart a franchise. Already this prognosticator is all-in on Smith and we think he’ll be better than Markelle Fultz… There’s also another interesting rookie, summer league star Donovan Mitchell, who could now have extra time with Dante Exum out (again). At backup big, there will be a battle for some playing time between Skal Labissiere and Bobby Portis, with Kelly Olynyk and Tyler Johnson likely starters to bring additional outside shooting onto the floor. Overall this could be an exciting team full of growth, but we’re not sure two wins is around the corner. Frank the Tank?!

Fob Stars (9-10)
With another solid nine win season under their belts, Fob Stars have proven that they aren’t in the league’s bottom dwellers anymore — that’s four out of five seasons hovering right around 0.500. With back-to-back playoff appearances to boot, Jimmy’s team is entering its most successful stretch. A couple of trades last year brought in new keepers Ricky Rubio, DeAndre Jordan, and Tobias Harris, all of which can be considered wins. While Jamal Murray flashed some upside last year, he’ll still need to advance quite a bit this season. Kemba Walker is here to lead this team, and he and stretch four Ryan Anderson combine for 5.0 3PT a game.

Poised on the brink of continued success, GM Jimmy also has gone young with his draft. We love Rodney Hood’s scoring opportunities this year, and rookie John Collins has all the opportunity in Atlanta to take over the power forward minutes. And there’s UCLA rookie TJ Leaf in Indiana to do the same (no idea who he was but since Jimmy is a Bruin I guess he must know?). Seth Curry and Yogi Ferrell will likely cannibalize each other’s minutes in a crowded Mavericks backcourt but that’s okay for now. And if Rondae Hollis-Jefferson can find a shot he can really be useful for his REB-AST help. Overall Fob Stars are looking very competitive, with a bunch of outside shooting surrounding DeAndre, and now with a point guard who will really sling the passes around to all deep threats. The old plodding frontcourt of Zach Randolph and Marcin Gortat are finally gone, and now it’s a race to outscore opponents!

Fat Jubas (13-5-1)
It’s a shame Jubas has been stuck in a division with Sour Snails because otherwise they would be the class of the division. Still, with one title, seven postseason appearances, a semi-Toilet Bowl win, and the third highest overall winning percentage (62.6%), Jubas are always a contender. I mean, sort of. Despite three straight upset wins in the first round of the playoffs, Jubas just can’t get over the Sour Snails hump — they’ve been knocked out by them the past three years. Then again, who can defeat the Snails!?!

The returning core of Chris Paul, Gordon Hayward, Nicolas Batum, Jonas Valanciunas, Harrison Barnes, and new keeper Myles Turner should be strong as usual. Paul and Hayward are in new NBA situations but their numbers should at least stay even. Barnes emerged as a real scoring asset last year and Turner is poised for a super breakout year. It’s a shame Batum already hurt but the Frenchman tends to get dinged up anyway. Jae Crowder will need to step in to replace him for awhile as the glue guy. We’re big fans of Milos Teodosic’s incredible passing and we hope he’ll inherit all of Paul’s leftover assists when he ditched Los Angeles. Pau Gasol and Robin Lopez are both serviceable and predictable, and now eerily about the same player fantasy wise. There’s some upside in shooters Norman Powell and Bogdan Bogdanovic so if one of them can break out, Jubas will split the difference between contending and growing depth wonderfully. It’s gonna be hard to do better than last year’s thirteen wins but if anyone has a clear shot at upsetting Snails in the Chamberlain Conference, it’ll have to be CP3 and Milos!

Sour Snails (17-1-1)
There’s not much to say here about a three-peat winner. Just look over last season’s post-Finals article for all the details of how Snails got here. However, we all know that egos get in the way after three straight titles so this is definitely the year Snails go down! Cleared of controversy that Trieu was secretly running two teams, the Snails are looking vulnerable for the first time in awhile. I mean, if vulnerable includes acquiring Kevin Durant mid-season to pair with Steph Curry… While Russell Westbrook’s triple doubles were missed, Durant’s all around efficiency fits this team even better. So where’s the hope here? Well, semi-new acquisitions Mike Conley, Brook Lopez, and Nerlens Noel are all pretty injury prone so if they can all get hurt, along with one of KD or Steph, we could have a Snails showing in the Toilet Bowl! Oh and if Thibodeau runs Jimmy Butler into the ground, that would be nice too.

Four-peats DON’T happen! With only four losses total in the past four seasons, could we be staring at a season in which Trieu suffers four defeats in one year? I say “yes!” Then again, if everyone goes down, “Kobe 2.0” Kyle Kuzma could become the star of the show and probably still lead Trieu to a (summer league) title. Snails’ draft was pretty utilitarian with Markieff Morris, Wilson Chandler, and Josh Richardson for big wings, and tank big men Jahlil Okafor and Bismack Biyombo around in case Lopez and Noel go down.

Seriously, this is the year Snails goes down…. Please?....