Chamberlain 2018: Silverhawks

IL Conceived (0-18-1)
The good news is that it shouldn’t be difficult to improve on Jedi Knight’s two year record of 0-18-1 and 1-18 in 2016/7. I mean, one win will tie and two wins will already put new owner Frank on better footing than the previous regime. With a 24-115-5 record in eight seasons, no playoff experience, and a history of in-season mismanagement, IL Conceived will need an entire culture overhaul. It’s a good thing Frank's enthusiastic! The bad news is that getting even two wins might be difficult here. I mean, the best player on the six man core might be Tim Hardaway Jr, who signed a huge off-season contract and should now get all the shots he wants in New York. Youngish vets Jeff Teague and Jrue Holiday are around to steady the backcourt, and there’s immense promise with Aaron Gordon and Willie Cauley-Stein in the frontcourt but they might also just be perpetually on the verge. Justise Winslow was picked up for his defensive upside, but he still can’t shoot. And that’s that on the keeper situation.

However, Dennis Smith Jr. is here! With the third overall pick, Frank grabbed Smith, who was rumored to be considered for the #1 and #2 overall picks. In the end, IL Conceived could have grabbed the kind of superstar that could jumpstart a franchise. Already this prognosticator is all-in on Smith and we think he’ll be better than Markelle Fultz… There’s also another interesting rookie, summer league star Donovan Mitchell, who could now have extra time with Dante Exum out (again). At backup big, there will be a battle for some playing time between Skal Labissiere and Bobby Portis, with Kelly Olynyk and Tyler Johnson likely starters to bring additional outside shooting onto the floor. Overall this could be an exciting team full of growth, but we’re not sure two wins is around the corner. Frank the Tank?!

Fob Stars (9-10)
With another solid nine win season under their belts, Fob Stars have proven that they aren’t in the league’s bottom dwellers anymore — that’s four out of five seasons hovering right around 0.500. With back-to-back playoff appearances to boot, Jimmy’s team is entering its most successful stretch. A couple of trades last year brought in new keepers Ricky Rubio, DeAndre Jordan, and Tobias Harris, all of which can be considered wins. While Jamal Murray flashed some upside last year, he’ll still need to advance quite a bit this season. Kemba Walker is here to lead this team, and he and stretch four Ryan Anderson combine for 5.0 3PT a game.

Poised on the brink of continued success, GM Jimmy also has gone young with his draft. We love Rodney Hood’s scoring opportunities this year, and rookie John Collins has all the opportunity in Atlanta to take over the power forward minutes. And there’s UCLA rookie TJ Leaf in Indiana to do the same (no idea who he was but since Jimmy is a Bruin I guess he must know?). Seth Curry and Yogi Ferrell will likely cannibalize each other’s minutes in a crowded Mavericks backcourt but that’s okay for now. And if Rondae Hollis-Jefferson can find a shot he can really be useful for his REB-AST help. Overall Fob Stars are looking very competitive, with a bunch of outside shooting surrounding DeAndre, and now with a point guard who will really sling the passes around to all deep threats. The old plodding frontcourt of Zach Randolph and Marcin Gortat are finally gone, and now it’s a race to outscore opponents!

Fat Jubas (13-5-1)
It’s a shame Jubas has been stuck in a division with Sour Snails because otherwise they would be the class of the division. Still, with one title, seven postseason appearances, a semi-Toilet Bowl win, and the third highest overall winning percentage (62.6%), Jubas are always a contender. I mean, sort of. Despite three straight upset wins in the first round of the playoffs, Jubas just can’t get over the Sour Snails hump — they’ve been knocked out by them the past three years. Then again, who can defeat the Snails!?!

The returning core of Chris Paul, Gordon Hayward, Nicolas Batum, Jonas Valanciunas, Harrison Barnes, and new keeper Myles Turner should be strong as usual. Paul and Hayward are in new NBA situations but their numbers should at least stay even. Barnes emerged as a real scoring asset last year and Turner is poised for a super breakout year. It’s a shame Batum already hurt but the Frenchman tends to get dinged up anyway. Jae Crowder will need to step in to replace him for awhile as the glue guy. We’re big fans of Milos Teodosic’s incredible passing and we hope he’ll inherit all of Paul’s leftover assists when he ditched Los Angeles. Pau Gasol and Robin Lopez are both serviceable and predictable, and now eerily about the same player fantasy wise. There’s some upside in shooters Norman Powell and Bogdan Bogdanovic so if one of them can break out, Jubas will split the difference between contending and growing depth wonderfully. It’s gonna be hard to do better than last year’s thirteen wins but if anyone has a clear shot at upsetting Snails in the Chamberlain Conference, it’ll have to be CP3 and Milos!

Sour Snails (17-1-1)
There’s not much to say here about a three-peat winner. Just look over last season’s post-Finals article for all the details of how Snails got here. However, we all know that egos get in the way after three straight titles so this is definitely the year Snails go down! Cleared of controversy that Trieu was secretly running two teams, the Snails are looking vulnerable for the first time in awhile. I mean, if vulnerable includes acquiring Kevin Durant mid-season to pair with Steph Curry… While Russell Westbrook’s triple doubles were missed, Durant’s all around efficiency fits this team even better. So where’s the hope here? Well, semi-new acquisitions Mike Conley, Brook Lopez, and Nerlens Noel are all pretty injury prone so if they can all get hurt, along with one of KD or Steph, we could have a Snails showing in the Toilet Bowl! Oh and if Thibodeau runs Jimmy Butler into the ground, that would be nice too.

Four-peats DON’T happen! With only four losses total in the past four seasons, could we be staring at a season in which Trieu suffers four defeats in one year? I say “yes!” Then again, if everyone goes down, “Kobe 2.0” Kyle Kuzma could become the star of the show and probably still lead Trieu to a (summer league) title. Snails’ draft was pretty utilitarian with Markieff Morris, Wilson Chandler, and Josh Richardson for big wings, and tank big men Jahlil Okafor and Bismack Biyombo around in case Lopez and Noel go down.

Seriously, this is the year Snails goes down…. Please?....