Owner Ratings

It’s been a year of coming up with ratings for everything, so why not come up with a management rating? It’s going to be: Games Played + Moves + Wins. I think there’s probably something to be said for Moves not necessarily being correlated to Games Played and Wins, but let’s just let it ride. This is all for run anyway right? Let’s take a look at each owner category.

[Google Sheet]

Games Played
Unquestionably the biggest correlation to GP is good coaching, right? After some early season mess ups with games limits, most every owner should now manage their team to maximum value. Take a look at our current Games Played through ten weeks.

Our top five coaches are Roger, Eddie, Trieu, Brian, and Thien, who lead the pack in GP management. However, there is a giant outlier here, as Buffy only has four wins despite being the best coached team. Every other top team in the top nine GP ratings are playing at a 0.500 or above clip. On the flip side, Spade is only thirteenth in GP but has five wins... Still there's little debate that a high GP is essential to winning, right?

Our average Games Played is 24.7 GP through ten weeks, with a high average of 26.1 for Buffy and a low of 21.0 for Cameltoe. Most everyone is within ten GP of the average except Randall, Jimmy, new owner David, and Felipe. Perhaps a review of the Weekly Games Cap Explainer? The bottom three coaches are all on the hot seat, as they’ve racked up a combined sixteen weeks of early GP violations. That’s 53% of the time. Jimmy has largely worked out his GP issues as he’s found his rhythm the past month, but David and Felipe are still hitting the game limit early most weeks.

Moves
I’ve been trying to figure out what ESPN means by “moves,” and it seems like it’s mostly an add/drop action, and possibly a trade. We haven’t had a trade yet all regular season so I can’t quite tell. Either way, I only started compiling stats since October 31st, so missed the first two weeks of the regular season. Since then, these are the top five general managers: Thien (41 moves), Eddie (11), Trieu (11), Brian (8), and Josh (8).

Making a lot of moves generally means lineup activity and wins, which proves to be true, as our top five general managers are a combined 30-17-3, for a 60% winning clip. The two outliers as far as few Moves to Wins correlation are Chunky Monkeys and Fat Jubas, who are currently a combined 18-2 overall, meaning they probably haven’t had to shift players around much as they are the current two best teams in SlamNation.

Every other GM has made at least three pickups since Oct 31st, except for Roger, Randall, Brandon, and David, who each have made none! While their zero Moves is not entirely accurate — each of them has made at least one pickup previous to Oct 31st — it is reflective of a lack of GM activity since the starting weeks of the season. These bottom four teams are a combined 15-24-1, which equates to a 0.375 winning percentage.

Is Moves a better indicator of winning? Looking this over, there could be a case made for the idea that good general managing is more important than coaching! Or wait, is a coach and general working hand-in-hand the best? Looks like both! But seriously guys, Thien has more moves, forty-one, than the bottom twelve teams combined. The rest of us need to work that free agent bin! In related news: who is Rodions Kurucs?!

Wins
Well, we know which teams are winning, but to break it down, our top eight teams have 53 wins combined, while our bottom eight have 25 wins. That means our so-far playoff teams at the midpoint of the regular season have 6.6 wins apiece, while our presumed Toilet Bowl participants are at 3.1 wins each.

Best Owner
So if we combine all three ratings — by ranking each of Games Played, Moves, Wins and then adding up the total — we get the following list of best owners so far this season: Eddie, Thien, Trieu, Brian, and Evan. Our number franchise, Swamp Dragons, features the second-best GP, second-best Moves, and a fourth-best Wins rating. Looks like Eddie is really out to make the playoffs this season!

The bottom five owners: Randall, Brandon, Felipe, Oliver, and David. C’mon guys, fantasy football is over. 2019 is around the corner. Let’s pick it up! Or wait, are people tanking for Zion?!? Remember that our new playoff/draft format is designed to discourage tanking!

Trade Analysis: All-Time

One of the great things about Slam is that the nine category setup is conducive to lots of trading. We’ve had almost ninety trades over nine years, spanning from 2010 - 2019, and we’ve barely started 2019! Sure some of those are for draft positioning or whatnot, minor stuff, but we’ve had some huge blockbusters as well. LeBron James himself has been traded three times!

Note: It would be nice to just respond or give a quick "no" if someone contacts you about a trade. Just to be polite! Going dark is a strategy, I suppose, but a response is nicer!

[Full Trade Analysis Sheet]

Let’s take a look at some trade stats:

• Our last three seasons have all eclipsed ten-plus trade each, while 2012 was our highest trades by volume, fourteen moves that year.
• Historically, most trades are centered around October and March, when each season starts and then when the regular season ends. In-season, Feb and Dec are great times for trading!

• Most willing trade owners (by historical volume): Jon, Trieu, Evan, Thien, Brian
• Most likely to trade owners (by trades / years ratio): Jon, Frank, Trieu, Felipe, Evan/Thien
• Ten of our current sixteen owners — albeit with newbie Dave — average about a trade a season. Not bad!
• Five owners average less than a trade per season: Oliver, Brandon, Jimmy, Randall, Josh

• The only trade Josh has participated in ever is ID#70 in 2017, a swap of Myles Turner for CJ McCollum
• Before this season’s pre-draft swap with IL Conceived, Randall had only ever traded during a draft. And that was a league mandated trade the year Spade came into the league. So this recent swap of Will Barton for 2019 RD1.3 was Randall’s first trade in SlamNation ever! (ID#33 in 2014)
• Josh and Randall have been in Slam for seven and five years, respectively, and that means we need to up their trade volume!
• In just one year at the helm, Frank has already participated in three trades, giving IL Conceived a very high yearly trade ratio. Can it continue?

Who Is Trading With Whom?
It seems logical that we are more likely to trade with those we’re in contact with. For example, I spam everyone when I’m looking for a trade. But since I know where to find all the owners, that seems like a (unfair) communication advantage.

People are always asking me how to reach such and such an owner. Well, let’s find an easy way for us all to connect, and not have organization chaos like Thibodeau and Glen Taylor! Toward that end, join the new Slack, where we’ll have a dedicated #trade_channel to discuss potential trades!

Also, another thing I looked at was how many different trade partners everyone had. For example, Jon has had thirteen different trade partners, while Trieu has had twelve (out of twenty-five possible other owners, historically). Contrast that with Thien, whose trades with Trieu have accounted for eight out of twelve of his total trades. More trade partners everyone, do-si-do!

Most frequent trade partners:
Thien / Trieu (8)
Jon / Brian (5)
Trieu / Jon (4)
Oliver / Alvin (4)*
Eddie / Evan (3)

Eric has been very egalitarian, with two trades apiece with three owners and one each with Eddie, Frank, and Josh (plus C-Lucas who has retired) out of his ten total trades.

However, a trend I see over and over is that most people tend to trade within their immediate circle. What gives!? For example, the original CTDB fantasy football owners — Jon, Evan, Roger, Eric, Jimmy — have racked up quite a few trades in-between them. For example, take a look at Evan. Booooo. Let's make a commitment to stop in-group trading!

How do we increase communication, and more trading with everybody? I, for one, will now make it a goal to trade with every current owner, no matter how small. So Dave, Evan, Felipe, Frank, Josh, and Randall, step right up, let's talk! Every move doesn’t have to be a mega-blockbuster but the more trades the more fun, plus I'll have stuff to article about!

Some past trade articles:

• Trade Machine: Where we dole out some easy trade ideas like big/small or young/old!
• Trade Machine 2017: In-depth looks at teams needs and wants!
• Take a cruise through the current and replacement owners to get to know them, and our old "Mock Drafting the Owners" article

2019: Best Keeper Cores

I took the liberty of ranking each keeper player 1-5 points, with five being the absolute gold standard. There were seventeen franchise type guys and that means one per team right? Well, not so fast. Sour Snails boasts three of the gold guys, while Chunky Monkeys and Funk Coalition each have two. That means teams like Fat Jubas, Buffy, and Fob Stars don’t have any!

Still, gold players do not make a keeper core -- although it helps obviously -- and so here with the highly scientific and totally objective keeper core rankings, and here are the 2019 keepers list.

1-3. Spade, So Buckets, Chunky Monkeys (23 points)
Kawhi Leonard leads a keeper core that has remained almost unchanged since coming into the league — save for subbing out Kobe Bryan with Devin Booker. If it weren’t for injuries, this well-balanced keeper core would simply be the best.

Defending champion Monkeys feature LeBron James and James Harden as their one-two punch, and if they hadn’t cut Marc Gasol to keep Kris Dunn, their keeper set would have been even better.

An incredible home grown team, So Buckets has really put together a fabulous core through drafts, trades, and free agents. Joel Embiid leads a top-notch first five that are all All-Stars or above -- oh and then plus Jabari Parker.

4. Sour Snails (22)
Snails finally showed some weakness last season, but their one-two-three punch of Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, and newly acquired Damian Lillard are the definition of “super team.” But that’s the way it should be for a hard working GM like Trieu. There is a drop-off at the bottom three, but that top trio, whew!

5. Team Thien (21)
Not to be outdone by his brother, Thien has assembled a mighty core himself, led by John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, and Jimmy Butler. While injuries have hit this group hard, if they ever all get healthy, watch out!

6-10. Swamp Dragons, Squirtle Squad, Funk Coalition, Snack Bears, IL Conceived (19)
Swamp and Funk both benefitted from back-to-back Toilet Bowl wins, with Funk hitting on Karl Anthony-Towns and Ben Simmons while Swamp is staring at Markelle Fultz and DeAndre Ayton — who will be a keeper next year, presumably. Funk also have Jayson Tatum as part of their junior Big Three.

Even if Fultz turns into nothing though, Swamp has Nikola Jokic flanked by Paul George and Khris Middleton. This team was so deep that it shed two or three keeper level guys pre-postseason and still had extra keepers to sell off.

As for Squirtle, they are led by the incomparable Giannis Antetokounmpo and some sturdy veterans plus the upside of Zach LaVine and Lonzo Ball, making for a nice blend of old and young. The recent ACL tear of Dejounte Murray really hurts though.

Given perfect health, Snack’s new lineup featuring Kristaps Porzingis, Bradley Beal, and Blake Griffin would be quite dangerous, but there are injuries to be wary of here. The key here could be De'Aaron Fox's growth.

IL Conceived features almost R.O.Y. Donovan Mitchell, fellow sophomore Dennis Smith Jr, and Dario Saric as their young core. Add in defensive menace Draymond Green and that's a 4D team waiting to arrive!

11-13. Fob Stars, Fat Jubas, Hilt the Stilt(18)
Fob’s best player is Kemba Walker, who is nice but not quite gold level. The rest of the keepers feature underrated Tobias Harris and two pre-season breakout favorites in Jamal Murray and John Collins.

Fat Jubas is another team without a five-point player, as Chris Paul can’t quite be called “franchise” anymore can he? Jrue Holiday is the CP3’s running mate now and here's hoping newly in shape Myles Turner can finally turn the corner.

New team Hilt the Stilt is led by young vets Victor Oladipo and Andre Drummond, who both made big leaps last season, If Aaron Gordon can do the same to star level, that would be quite a fearsome trio.

14. Another Bad Creation (16)
Just like the real-life Thunder, it’s Russell Westbrook and then Russell Westbrook. Well, LaMarcus Aldridge is actually around but minus the solid upside of Enes Kanter, this keeper core is definitely still working on additional pieces.

15. Team Cameltoe (14)
Anthony Davis is tired of being a solo act and if this collection of super young guys can’t get it done, could The Brow push for a trade to a contender? The second best player on this team is Hassan Whiteside?...

16. Buffy (13)
Raise your hand if you thought Klay Thompson could be the number one on a fantasy team? The good news is that Brandon Ingram should soon elevate himself a level, and the same looks possible with Kyle Kuzma and Domantas Sabonis -- the latter is having a beast of a preseason. This team is screaming for some breakthrough talent though!


Keeper core rankings by conference [Pre-realignment...]:

Who's Playing Games?

It’s time to revisit our 2014 post "Weekly Averages: How Can They Help?” So I ran the same methodology and put up total, weekly, and individual averages for each team through sixteen weeks. Unfortunately, ESPN only gives us season long stats in total, and without a break down of each month or so, which kind of sucks. (Would be nice to have a drop down for individual matchup totals weekly/monthly, like we have under Active Stats on individual team pages.) So instead I have to distill it all down. But no worries, I did it!

And as you can see by the following spreadsheet, we’ve got the total stats for the year, then divided by sixteen games, and then divided even more by each team’s individual Games Played number. That way you can see how you really rank accordingly, if all things were equal.

• 2017 Updated Games Played Sheet (make your own copy on GDocs to fiddle around)

Mostly what I was interested in was the impact of Games Played — and to see if there was any correlation between “moves” and free agent adds. As we'll see below, there’s not a huge correlation there, but there definitely is a correlation between how many Games Played and winning matchups, as the bottom five teams in GP are also the bottom five teams in wins. I mean if you’re playing two less games per week than your opponent — or in Jedi Knight’s case, almost five games less! — you’re going to lose more irregardless of talent. To beat a top team, you gotta play your guys, Coach Auerbach says.

If we take out the outlier owners (Thien and Chris) we get an average GP of about 26.5 games per week — out of a max of 28/29 GP depending on how many games you can fit in on Sundays. For our purposes, maxing out your lineup with 28 GP is probably more accurate. Toward that end, our best coaches are Swamp Dragons, Against All Odds, So Buckets, Sour Snails, and Chunky Monkeys. And we already mentioned the low end guys. The difference between a top tier GP team and a bottom GP team is about 12.5%, meaning you’re already handicapping yourself in each matchup by not putting up equal games.

I'm one of the culprits, so no shots fired at anyone... I've been trying to win, I really have!

Moving on from GP, the average and median for free agent pickups has been 15 moves (since Nov 1st), which takes into account roster movement including free agents and waiver wire pickups — but doesn’t subtract multiple instances of players moving on/off the same team.

Again, Thien is the huge outlier here, with 63 adds, while the lowest active owners average about 6 adds so far this season — with Sager’s Suits and Ties being a bottom outlier themselves, having made only one add all season long (Hi Big Al!). For comparison’s sake, our top three teams in adds minus Thien are Sour Snails, Squirtle Squad, and Fat Jubas and they average about 29 adds, or roughly 1.8 adds per week. However, make a move about once a week and you’re proving your worth as an active owner.

Some more numbers: Our nine teams at 15+ adds per week average roughly 9.8 wins this season while the seven teams under that activity median average only 5.4 wins. The numbers speak for themselves!

Although there is the curious case of Squirtle Squad, who ranks third in adds but has only seven wins — perhaps due to being just about exactly average in GP. In fact, there’s something strange going on in Transformers division in general as Squirtles, Another Bad Creation, and Buffy all are below 0.500, and a combined 19-28-1, while putting up higher than median GP numbers. We suspect it’s just a weird season overall for the entire division as a sub-0.500 team is likely to take the Transformers crown this year.

Overall, the most accurate to see where your team truly ranks is to see the individual breakdowns per sixteen games, which is the third and bottom set of numbers on the spreadsheet. This would even everything out assuming everyone had the same Games Played. Of course, if you’re anything like Funk Coalition, no matter how you massage the numbers, suck is still suck! But let’s hope moving forward some of our poorer performing coaches and GMs step it up in time for the post-season, otherwise Magic is coming to clean house!

Also, with some further updated analysis, my numbers now for a competitive team in each category is: 46.5 FG%, 80.0 FG%, 435 PTS, 35 3PT, 155 REB, 85 AST, 26 STL, 18 BLK, 48 TO. Mostly the same as three years ago, except with PTS and 3PT getting significantly juiced higher to account for the NBA’s three-pointers and scoring boom.

Seven Years In: Best to Worst

Continuing our two-part series of looking back on our first seven years of SlamNation, we present the franchise power rankings. Plus explanations! We weighed things like championships, division titles, playoff victories, highest win total seasons, overall consistency, thrilling postseason runs, and even Toilet Bowl success. So read along and tell me if your team deserves to be ranked higher (or lower). And here's the first article in the series, "Seven Years In: Overview."

It's Lonely at the Top
1. Sour Snails (101-22-2, 82.1%)
In a class of his own, Trieu’s team has been far and away our biggest winner. The list of accolades is long: A 82.1% regular season winning record, five Silverhawks division titles, four times owner of the highest wins per season, four Finals appearances, three titles (including the current back-to-back stretch), and likely more dominance coming. Even during their one down year, in 2012’s strike shortened campaign, Sour Snails still managed Toilet Bowl finals showing, and ended up drafting Damian Lillard at #2, and laughed as Lillard went on to win R.O.Y.

There was a time when Snails got upset in the Conference Finals twice, but those days are long gone as Snails have only lost three total regular season games in the last three years, and only once in the playoffs since. And they are currently on an almost two year unbeaten streak, as they haven’t lost a matchup since late November 2014 (or Feb 2015, if counting ties). Always a leader in season moves, Trieu has shuffled parts all over the place, trading away LeBron James, Kevin Love, DeMarcus Cousins and other huge names, while always winning, winning, winning. Oh yeah, they also seem to have gotten an even stronger keeper core this season... The only logical move left is to sign David “Ring Chaser” West, as he needs some  of that jewelry too.

Perennial Contenders
2. Spade (83-40-2, 67.5%)
After winning their championship in 2013, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps owner Jose dropped the mic and left his team behind behind. Under his stewardship, 100AW had accumulated one Thundercats division title (2011), four playoff appearances, and that one glittering ring. New owner Randall stepped in for the 2014 season and continued that winning tradition by going 39-20, good for a 66.1% regular season win percentage, and is currently the back-to-back Thundercats division champs. Incredibly, this team has never missed the playoffs, never had a losing season, and are 1-1 in the Finals after Spade broke through to runner-up status in the title game last season. So here we are, the most consistent season-by-season team in SlamNation. Now it's time for Randall to win a title of his very own!

3. Fat Jubas (74-47-4, 61.2%)
Eric’s team has made the playoffs in six of our seven seasons, with only 2014 as a down year. For awhile, Jubas were jockeying with Sour Snails for the Silverhawks division lead year after year. All that back-and-forth resulted in two division titles for them. Plus, most importantly, Eric’s got a ring, having won it all in 2012 led by Steve Nash, Kevin Garnett, and Nicolas Batum. Jubas also have a Toilet Bowl win/loss, as they made the 2014 Toilet Bowl finals, but were technically playing for Chunky Monkeys’ pick, as part of the trade that brought in Chris Paul. Having already rebuilt from their championship year, Fat Jubas are back in the playoffs and looking to capture that elusive second title.

Oh So Close Challengers
4. Death Star (71-49-5, 59.2%)
With a new team name almost every year, Thien’s squad is always morphing into different configurations. With huge trades and savvy waiver wire pickups, Thien has built a consistent winner that used to always be a “good but not quite great” squad, and is our second team to never endure a losing season. But those almost there days are no more as Death Star has gone 24-11-3 in the last two seasons and won their third Voltron title in 2016. They also had a trip to the Finals in 2015, suffering a close defeat to his brother, Trieu. And despite that lack of a losing season accolade, Death Star did have a Toilet Bowl appearance in 2010 off a 9-9 (non-playoff) record, which netted them current franchise cornerstone John Wall with the #2 overall pick. Can Thien make this year’s title game a Brother Bowl II?

5. Chunky Monkeys (66-56-3, 54.1%)
After making our first Finals round in 2010 as a 9-9 squad, it’s been a steady climb back up the mountain from a 6-13 2011 season. The Monkeys have made four postseasons in five tries since then (five total playoff appearances), and captured a Thundercats division title, but haven’t notched a playoff victory since 2012 after getting bounced in the first round both of the past two seasons. The good news is that Evan’s team now looks like a top flight contender after he went all-in last offseason, acquiring LeBron James to pair with James Harden — spinning away both of 2015’s #1 and #2 overall picks, Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker, in the process. Of course, division mate Spade stands in their way, not to mention that Sour Snails juggernaut. With constant tinkering and shifting of pieces, the Monkeys are looking to capture a title now while their championship window is still open.

Transform-ly Good, Decepticon-ly Bad
6. Sager’s Suits & Ties (66-58-1, 53.2%)
"And as long as I've got my suit and tie / I'ma leave it all on the floor tonight / And you got fixed up to the nines / Let me win you a few rings (win you a few rings)” Having already switched owners twice, new owner Matt is inheriting a storied franchise. Two Transformers titles, one insane 2014 title run, and four total playoff appearances. Original owner Steve compiled a 27-24 record, while C-Lucas captured that lone title and went 39-36-1 over his four seasons.

Gone are the Jason Kidd and Dwight Howard combo, and now it's up to mortal enemies Blake Griffin and Draymond Green to keep this franchise clashing along. Can Matt stay unfashionably fashionable while battling for supremacy in the strongest division in the land? Let's find out! Note: Transformers division features three teams above 0.500 historically, plus one at 0.496. Let the debate rest about the toughest division in SlamNation.

7. Another Bad Creation (68-55-2, 55.3%)
Oliver’s former name, Half Man Half ImAsian, was switched out last year but the wins kept right on coming. And in the ultra-tough Transformers division, ABC captured their first division title last year with a 13-6 campaign. Overall, ABC has made the playoffs five times and won the Toilet Bowl once, in 2015 — albeit resulting in super dud Ben McLemore. The only thing that has eluded this franchise has been playoff wins, as they haven’t gotten one of those since 2011. In the five years since, they’ve been knocked out of the first round three times in three tries. With Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors, Oliver is looking to assemble a superteam of his own to hopefully catch some postseason success. Tupac tattoo anyone?

8. Squirtle Squad (66-57-2, 53.7%)
Fighting into the top tier of teams in SlamNation is difficult, as evidenced by Squirtle Squad’s history. Before last year, Brian’s team hadn’t had a losing season since 2010. In addition to that, they led the league in wins during the strike shortened 2012 season, made the playoffs a total of four times, and captured two Transformers division titles.

However, for all their success, Squirtle has had only one playoff victory in 2012, and was knocked out of the playoffs in the first round in three successive seasons. Plus they’ve never even reached the finals of the Toilet Bowl in three tries, as they were bounced in the semifinals each time. We applaud the successful transition from the old core of Deron Williams and Joe Johnson, but can Squirtles ride Giannis Antetokounmpo out of last year’s 3-15-1 worst ever regular season showing and give this franchise some postseason glory?

It’s A Roller Coaster
9. Swamp Dragons (65-59-1, 52.4%)
The renamed NJ All-Stars — love the new branding! — came into the league in 2012 after Nande ReBuRonSAN exited and immediately started dominating, going 8-4, 15-4, and 14-5 in their first three seasons. That success included a wonderful upset of Eddie's cousin, Evan, which paved the way for Swap Dragons' first Finals appearance.

However, those glory days are a little behind this squad as the former All-Stars have gone 10-27-1 during the past two seasons and are currently in the midst of a huge rebuild — which included trading away LeBron James. Overall, this franchise has won three Thundercats division titles, accrued the highest win total in 2013, and made the playoffs four times, including Finals appearances in 2012 and 2014. It’ll be interesting to see how fast Eddie can turn this ship around with Paul George and the (hopeful) fantasy evolution of Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker.

10. LA Buffy (61-62-2, 49.6%)
Here’s the aforementioned lone non-0.500 team in the Transformers division. Of course, they’re only off that mark by one loss so it’s safe to say Roger’s team hasn’t been too bad. Overall Buffy has accrued division titles in 2011 and 2013, plus a pair of playoff appearances, including a Finals appearance in 2013. Historically, Buffy has been very up and down, with a big losing season following a huge winning season, but they might have evened out recently, with a 17-19-2 record over the last two years. Of course, that has also translated into no playoff berths during that time.

But Buffy is pretty good at the consolation tournament, having made the Toilet Bowl finals twice. Baron Davis was the #2 pick in 2010 and we'll see what Roger will conjure up this year. That 2017 #2 overall could be integral to Buffy's continued success as the long in the tooth duo of Tim Duncan and Carlos Boozer are now both fully in the rearview mirror. Coach Roger has quietly transitioned from a ground and pound team to a higher octane version, and will look to speed past 0.500 once again.

11. So Buckets (59-64-2, 48.0%)
Josh inherited a Bayside Bombardiers squad in 2012 that had gone 19-18 in two SlamNation seasons, including a 2010 division title, plus a gaudy #1 overall 2012 draft pick (Kyrie Irving). Their first campaign was a painful sludge, as they went 3-9 while learning the ropes. Shortly after however, So Buckets became the scourge of Voltron, taking two straight division titles in 2013-14. Since then, they’ve gone 8-10-1 in both of the last two seasons and are looking to distinguish themselves after being upset in two straight Toilet Bowl first rounds. But things are looking up, as Josh has sent off Pau Gasol to (non-keeper) pasture and now fields his strongest, and youngest, keeper core yet, behind Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, Rudy Gobert, and the mystery that is Joel “Process Legend” Embiid — after sitting on him for two seasons.

What a Conundrum
12. Team Cameltoe (53-69-3, 43.4%)
Pour one out for our co-commissioner, Alvin, who started with us all the way back before the reset, and then decided to step down this past offseason. In his place will be his good friend, Felipe, who inherits the strangest franchise in SlamNation. The accolades for this (usually) losing franchise start in the Toilet Bowl, which they’ve made in six of their seven seasons. Their win in 2012 resulted in Anthony Davis, and their runner-up showing in 2013 turned up Victor Oladipo. Both excellent prospects.

Along with that, Alvin was always good at unearthing talent via the draft, waiver wire, and trades. So why all the losses? We don’t know! We thought Pogiboys had turned the corner with a 2015 Voltron division title behind a 14-5 regular season, but then they collapsed to 5-12-2 last season. So I guess the only answer we have to this team’s incessant losing might lie with bad tactics from their former head coach? If so, all Felipe probably needs to do is tweak this Anthony Davis formula a bit to turn this puzzling franchise’s fortunes around.

13. Snack Bears (42-81-2, 34.1%)
Actually, there’s another strange team in Voltron: the thrice-owned, just renamed, Snack Bears (formerly Soup Dumplings). Before Brandon arrived in 2015, this team had been to the playoffs just once, in 2011 under the shame of a losing record. But that 9-10 Human Amoebas squad upset their way to a ring behind Derrick Rose, Monta Ellis, Paul Millsap, a rookie Boogie Cousins, and um, Finals hero Andray Blatche. True story! However, Eric-A’s four teams went 3-15, 9-10, 5-8, and 1-17-1, dropping this team’s overall winning percentage to the cellar despite having notched that one magical season.

And after Eric-A exited stage left, we had the Inept Henchmen step in for 2014-2015, and big applause to Trevor as he patiently rebuilt a one win team to 14-23-1 over his two seasons, before ceding ownership to Brandon under a mini-cloud of controversy. (Remember that?!) And so, fantasy newbie Brandon, without the benefit of a two-team dispersal draft, somehow crafted a 10-9 record and a playoff appearance out of this mess, not to mention presciently drafting Kristaps Porzingis at #6 overall last year. The case can be made that Brandon is already the most successful owner in HumanIneptSnack AmoebaHenchBears history! If this historically flash-in-the-pan team can win a division title this year, it’ll be a huge achievement for their record books.

Losers, Biggest Losers
14. Fob Stars (41-80-4, 33.9%)
And this is where it gets ugly. The following three teams have no division titles to their name, just two playoff appearances total, and really, just a history of putrid losing. For Fob Stars, their franchise highlights include two 9-9-1 records, one of which resulted in a playoff appearance last season. They’ve never had winning record and haven’t had much success elsewhere, except arguably the Toilet Bowl, where they’ve gotten runner-up twice. The first #2 overall selection was Michael Beasley in 2011, the second was D’Angelo Russell in 2016. Both extremely high character guys, obviously.

Long a team that has “won” with a strong front court, the times are changing in Fob Land as the corpse of Zach Randolph has been jettisoned and now Kemba Walker and D’Angelo Russell look to blitz their way out of the SlamNation cellar. Can this long suffering franchise string together back-to-back playoff appearances? Can they hire a maturity coach? Can someone give D’Angelo a high five?

15. Funk Coalition (39-83-3, 32.0%)
This is just embarrassing. Isn’t there some rule where you get dumped as the commissioner if your team can’t win thirty-three percent of its games? Jon’s team has never had a winning campaign, never even hit 0.500 in a single season, and is coming off a three year stretch of 14-43 as their record. Reverse-Shazam! Funk's lone playoff season was accomplished with a 9-10 record, and they were quickly dispatched in the first round.

And it’s not like the roster has remained steady either, as Jon has wheeled and dealed with the best of them, moving away stars like Carmelo Anthony, Russell Westbrook, Marc Gasol, Al Jefferson, and Dwight Howard when they actually meant something. The good news is that Funk is the unofficial king of the Toilet Bowl, having won back-to-back in 2015-16, giving them Karl-Anthony Towns and their choice of a 2017 rookie. Will any of this translate into a winning season for Funk? Goodness, I sure hope so. Otherwise I’ll just keep blogging while losing, as we truck into a second decade of SlamNation...

16. Jedi Knights (24-97-4, 19.8%)
And here we arrive at the saddest tale in SlamNation lore, that of the only team that hasn’t sniffed the playoffs even once. Forget no postseason appearances, there hasn’t even been a regular season with more than five wins. And those semi-promising back-to-back 5-14 campaigns in 2014-15 dipped to the worst regular season record in SlamNation history last year, a superlative 1-18. Ouch. And all those losses haven’t resulted in Toilet Bowl success either, as Chris-L has never gotten near a Toilet Bowl finals, having won just one upset victory in 2015's TB before getting bounced.

So all those high draft positions — three last place finishes, two second-to-last and two third-to-last — haven’t resulted in either the #1 or #2 overall picks. The only superstar to emerge from any of those lofty selections, #3 Jimmy Butler in 2014, was even traded away one year later. Where’s the process?! Is the Force woke?!

Speaking of trades, Jedi Knights are one of the league leaders there. In one memorable 2015 session, they executed four thrilling trades that completely revamped their team. And they’ve already gotten one under their belt for the upcoming season. Perhaps that’s the best strategy for Jedi Knights moving forward: moving all those high-ish picks for established players, as this team has nowhere to go but up, up in the sky.

Seven Years In: Overview

Here we go, in the seven years of SlamNation (since the 2010 reset), we've had a lot of history. But who is the best team of all time?! Well, that answer is pretty obvious, especially of late. But still, let's take a look at who might be the second or third best, shall we? And before we launch into our breakdown of each franchise, here are some fun facts to whet your appetite. Here's the full spreadsheet for your perusal. SlamNation: Seven Years In. Plus part two of the series, "Seven Years In: Best to Worst"

Best Division
Speaking strictly by winning percentage, Transformers have the best winning percentage, a tidy 52.2% with an overall 261-232-7 record. They're trailed by Thundercats (252-238-9, 50.6%), Silverhawks (240-246-14, 48.0%), and Voltron (225-263-12, 45.0%). Notice how Silverhawks' two great / two terrible team dynamics drags them down even though Sour Snails is so dominant.

Both Silverhawks and Thundercats have five Finals appearances each, albeit Silverhawks are four of five in their showings, while Thundercats have only won one of their five matchups. It's easy to deduce that these two divisions meet in the Finals often. Both Transformers and Voltron can only boast two showings and one win apiece in the Finals.

Thundercats have seventeen playoff appearances overall, while Transformers come in second with fifteen, and Silverhawks and Voltron follow with thirteen and eleven, respectively.

Voltron has zero teams that ever put up a best regular season winning record, while Silverhawks have 4.5 -- including a tie in 2011 to their credit. Thundercats have 1.5 high wins teams, while Transformers have one: Squirtle Squad in 2012.

Thundercats are a sterling three of three in their Toilet Bowl finals appearances, while none of the Silverhawks' four TB Finals teams have ever won it. Voltron is a tidy 3-5 in their TB Finals, while Transformers are 1-3 in those same games.

Best Conference
So who's better? Chamberlain or Russell? Well, Chamberlain has 522 wins in one thousand games played, while Russell only has 478. That means a 52.2% winning record for Transformers and Silverhawks, while Thundercats and Voltron have a losing record at 47.8%. I guess this is just like the NBA, where Chamberlain is the strong West while Russell is the weaker East?

More importantly, Chamberlain versus Russell in the SlamNation Finals has five wins in seven, and both of those Russell championships are from owners who are now no longer with us. That means no current Russell Conference owner has ever tasted that championship champagne!

The only solace Russell Conference has is that it's six of seven in the Toilet Bowl. When will all that young talent pay off I wonder...

Championships
In seven seasons, Sour Snails has won three times (2010, 2015, 2016), and Fat Jubas, Human Amoebas, 100 AW Heffalumps, and Eron Joven Chandler have all won once. Of those single title teams, all but Fat Jubas are now out of the league.

We’ve had four upset Finals victories, with Human Amoebas and 100 AW Heffalumps upsetting their way from the first round till the final round in 2011 and 2013 respectively.

Toilet Bowl
In the Toilet Bow, the first five years featured no upset winner in the TB Finals, until 2015-2016, which had Funk Coalition running the table both times despite being the lower seed in each round.

However, there have been a total of five teams that upset their way to the #2 overall pick in the Toilet Bowl, despite being lower seeds. Including twice by the Fob Stars.

Owners
Since the 2010 reset, we’ve had ten owners who’ve been along for the whole ride, and out of those owners, seven have been with SlamNation since 2007. And special shout out to Transformers division where Roger, Brian, and Oliver have been with us since the beginning.

We’ve said good bye to eight owners since the 2010 reset (plus two more before). So in total, this league has seen twenty-six owners in our time.

Out of the six franchises that have ever switched ownership, five out of six are from the Russell Conference. What gives?! (The lone exception was the former 2005 NBA All Stars / Eron Joven Chandler, who is once again switching this season to Matt's new team.)

Voltron has seen four owners leave (Pierre, Eric A, Trevor, Alvin), with the Thundercats (Mikey, Jose) and Transformers (Steve, Chris Lucas) both having lost two. And nobody has ever left Silverhawks, despite Sour Snails’ eternal dominance.

A list of owners and when they entered the league, with 2007-2009 being the pre-reset era:

• 2007: Roger, Brian, Oliver, Trieu, Eric L, Evan, Jon
• 2008: Chris L
• 2010: Jimmy, Thien
• 2012: Eddie, Josh
• 2014: Randall
• 2016: Brandon
• 2017: Matt, Felipe

Weekly Averages: How Can They Help?

The NBA trade deadline passed without much fanfare, and as always, I hope to fan the flames for more trade action on our end. As I’m personally deep in trade talks, I came upon an interesting question: “How many # of ___ category would it take for me to become good/respectable/not horrible?” As Trieu related to me once, "it would take roughly 35+ 3PT to be competitive each week." I had no idea if he was trying to push me into a deal or if he was trying to fleece me, but mostly I wondered how he came up with that number. And it sure sounded intriguing! Just how many 3PT does it take to compete?

In a previous post, "Trade Machine," I talked about flipping a category strength for a category weakness in trades. This time out, I’m going a bit deeper on this idea as I parse the data to figure out how many PTS/REB/AST/BLK, etc it would take to move up a tier or two in a category. And that’s the type of math based thinking that could grease the wheels on how to improve a team. Would five extra AST or two extra BLK make a huge difference to winning a category battle? Let’s find out!

• Here's the 2014 Averages doc and you have to make your own copy to filter. (The blue triangle at the top of each column is a drop down filter.)

Note: These numbers could be skewed a bit by how I just divided by sixteen games before waiting for the WK16 results. However, I wanted to cut the stats right at around the twenty five-ish game mark since the All Star festivities extended WK16 to a double week.

Ideal Competitive Team: 390 PTS, 155 REB, 85 AST, 24 3PT, 26 STL, 15 BLK, 46.5 FG%, 0.80 FT% [Updated]

POINTS (High 453.3 / Median 385.8 /  Low 304.7)
Our top scoring teams, Sour Snails and NJ All-Stars, both put up over 425+ PTS but it looks like if you’re near 405 PTS per week, that’s enough to be decidely above average. The middle four squads score about 370-390 PTS. If you fall to 340, you’re decidedly below average and a further drop off of ten points per week from there will move you to one of the two worst PTS teams in the league. Alert: teams like Fat Jubas, Funk Coalition, Squirtle Squad, Jedi Knights, and Inept Henchmen struggle putting the ball in the basket! Fun fact: Kevin Durant and LaMarcus Aldridge single handedly puts up 48% of #8 ranked Half Man Half ImAsian's PTS, which has to be the record.
Magic Number: 390 PTS gives you a shot at taking anyone down aside from maybe the two best ranked teams

REBOUNDS (174.1 / 154.8 / 123.2)
It’s a tight race for REB as putting up 150 to 159 REB could mark you as the #10 ranked team or push you all the way up to #5. What this means is that it’s pretty easy to be competitive in REB, as we might expect. Four teams are above the 164+ REB mark (Funk Coalition, Half Man Half Amazing, Jedi Knights, Fob Stars), clearly marking themselves as superior rebounding teams. Dropping into the range of 130-140 REB means you’re a below average rebounding team. And if you’re Chunky Monkeys or Inept Henchmen with only about 125 REB per week, you need to hustle and attack the glass! Fun fact: Monkey's Terrence Jones leads the Monkeys in REB with 287 total and 7.3 avg per game. And their third best contributor on the boards is shooting guard Wesley Matthews.
Magic Number: 155 REB leaves you solidly middle of the pack and competitive

ASSISTS (112.5 / 82.6 / 58.3)
The top five passing teams are all above 95 AST per week. Fat Jubas, NJ All-Stars, and Sour Snails crack the 100+ AST barrier. An assists level of 80 to 87.5 will get you from about middle of the pack to above average, and anything in the 70 AST per week range is below average. There’s a huge drop off after that too, from #12 Eron, Joven and Chandler at 73.4 AST to Half Man Half ImAsian at #13 with 64.8 AST. Bascially, if you fall into the 60s, it’s going to be tough to win AST that week. This is a category with a lot of haves and have nots. There’s definite tiers between the teams here, and the better passing teams almost double the cellar dwellers in AST. Spread the wealth guys... Last place Inept Henchmen desperately need a point guard as Mo Williams is their main setup man with only 4.6 per game -- at least until Derrick Rose returns.
Magic Number: 85 AST brings you right to the middle while juicing it by another ten assists will bring you near the top of the mountain

THREE POINTERS (45.0 / 22.9 / 11.9)
NJ All-Stars is a complete outlier and drains 3PT far and above anyone else -- the last place team, Funk Coalition, is also an absolute outlier. The next three ranked 3PT teams (Sour Snails, Spade, Beast Brawlers) are bunched up from about 34 to 37.5 threes per week. It’s interesting how just a handful of extra 3PT could vault you from below average to above average. Our #6-7 ranked teams put up about 26.5 threes, while #8-12 pump in about 21.5 to 23 threes. That means just five extra 3PT per week could vault you from #12 to #5 and give you a category win. So big cheers all around when your player suddenly explodes for a six 3PT game! At the bottom end, if you’re below 19 3PT total per week, an increase could be called for. Seeing as there’s a huge disparity between the top and middling 3PT teams, perhaps a few trades could be in order? NJ All-Stars feature five players averaging 2.3 3PT or higher in Paul George, Kyle Lowry, Jose Calderon, Channing Frye, and the currently out for the season Ryan Anderson.
Magic Number: 24 3PT, if you’re below that number you’re stuck in a dogfight every week. Above that and you can clear the riffraff, although it’ll take a lot more gunning to challenge a top 3PT team.

STEALS (35.5 / 26.8 / 21.6)
Again, an extreme outlier at the top, as the separation between Sour Snails and his next closest STL competitor is almost greater than the separation from our second ranked to last ranked team (#1-2 gap of 6.6 STL versus #2-16 at 7.3 STL). Someone needs to stop hoarding all the STL! Leaving Sour Snails aside, 27.5 to 29 STL will get you solidly above average in this category. That translates to not a lot of gap in-between STL superiority and being merely pretty good. A bump of even a few STL would bring a team very high up on the rankings, and even some of the lower ranked STL teams are at about 24 to 25 STL per week. Picking pockets at a rate of 22 STL or less translates to bottom of the cellar, but again, it’s not really a huge gap as an extra three or four thefts can make or break your week. #3 ranked Jedi Knights have three of the top six steals leaders this season: Michael Carter-Williams, Thaddeus Young, and Jimmy Butler, all averaging two or more steals per game.
Magic Number: 26 STL gives you a fighting chance against nearly everybody and just two more than that will have you consistently beating almost everyone else

BLOCKS (29.8 / 15.9 / 10.1)
You would expect BLK to look like STL, with a similar distribution, as BLK are pretty scarce. In the middle is a clump at 15 BLK, which makes you slightly below average to average. Moving the needle up to 16-17 BLK results in a top five finish, and getting to 17.5+ BLK will result in a win most weeks, excepting a face off versus MoRRie’s Pogiboys or Funk Coalition, who are both way above average, with Pogiboys being almost laughably so -- the #1 versus #2 gap is similar to the STL category. Even a rejection rate of about 13.5 BLK, currently ranked #14 (Inept Henchmen), is pretty competitive as a handful of blocks can swing the category widely. That huge gap between #1 and #2 is caused by Pogiboys boasting Anthony Davis, Roy Hibbert, John Henson, and Brook Lopez, each of them a top ten ranked rim protector.
Magic Number: 15 BLK is enough challenge each week, factoring in the variance in such a small sum category

TURNOVERS (40.6 / 52.1 / 67.1)
How much do you factor TOs into your roster? As it turns out, it’s likely an easy category to control for. Or to dump… Obviously guys who handle the ball a lot will turn it over more often, so as expected, we see our top scoring teams near the bottom of this category. Eliminating the top and bottom outliers (Inept Henchmen and Sour Snails respectively), it seems like a turnover rate of 55-60 TO is pretty awful. Anything in the low 50s is good, with our #7-11 ranked teams clumped around there. If you want to cut even more, a range of 46-48 TOs is enough to be safely above average and even gives you a shot to take the crown each week. Fun fact: No team is ranked higher in TO than PTS, which makes sense. High level anatomy and physics demand that only players who have their mitts on the ball can throw it into the basket. Randall's Spade does the best job of putting up a great PTS/TO ratio, ranked #4 in PTS and #6 in TO. The only other team that manages to be ranked above average in both PTS and TO is So Buckets. The trade-off to horrific PTS is a glittering ranking in TO though, as proven by our high ranked TO teams. Of course, Fat Jubas bucks that trend by somehow being ranked a lowly #12 in both PTS and TO. The main culprits seem to be Kendall Marshall (10.7 PTS/2.8 TO) and the swing pair of Nicolas Batum and Gordon Hayward (29.0 PTS / 5.3 TO combined)
Magic Number: 48 TO gets you out of most of the high turnover teams’ range and gets you into the top tier

FIELD GOAL and FREE THROW PERCENTAGE 
(FG: 48.84% / 45.92% / 44.51% and FT: 81.45% / 77.92% / 60.54%)
You’re mostly on your own to figure these out. But I will say that the spread between FG% is very small, as you can see. I’m sure shooting 48% versus 44.5% is likely huge in practice, but I don’t know how to control for it more than to say “don’t grab the shitty shooters.” These two categories tend to have more to do with volume so it’s hard to see the stats. The second-to-last FG% ranked Fob Stars have four guys averaging thirteen or more shots a game while shooting 42.6% or worse. Trey Burke and Kemba Walker are the leaders of Jimmy's "No, no, no, don't shoot it" club.

For FT%, it’s clear some of our teams are just tanking that category. Our bottom two teams (Jedi Knights, Funk Coalition) shoot below 67% while everyone else is at 75%+. Getting near 80% is enough for tops in the league and you’re free to figure out how to use that to your advantage as Beast Brawlers, Fat Jubas, and Half Man Half ImAsian have all clearly done. "Ugh, I hate percentages," said the Dwight Howard owner.
Magic Number: No idea, but I think 100% is good (also, see below)

Who's the most well balanced team in SlamNation?
You’ll note that a number of teams were mentioned over and over in this article, while some teams weren’t mentioned very often. Could it mean that they're more balanced? Maybe. I also wondered who our mythical "most competitive across all categories” team might turn out to be. Looking at our magic numbers for each category, we get a line of: 390 PTS, 155 REB, 85 AST, 24 3PT, 26 STL, 15 BLK, 48 TO.

In a surprise, there was no team anywhere near those benchmarks in all seven counting categories. I had to expand the list and use a FG and FT cut off of 46% and 78% respectively as additional qualifiers. That brought our winner into the clear: Chunky Monkeys with seven out of nine categories above the grade. (Spade, Beast Brawlers, Squirtle Squad, Jedi Knights all had six of nine.) So, if Evan can find another 30 REB per week and cut his TOs by 7 or so, he could be the perfectly balanced team! Of course, he's also 7-8 and likely headed to the Toilet Bowl so it's hard to say if this is a good strategy or not.

Then again, the strange case of So Buckets could be illuminating. They are probably going to win Voltron division again with a 9-6 record, after starting off 0-3, but didn't turn up often at the top or bottom of any categories. They seem to exhibit no weaknesses or particular strengths. They are good to above average at PTS (#6), REB (#5), TO (#7), FG% (#8) and on the lower end for AST (#11), 3PT (#12), STL (#11), BLK (#13, while missing Larry Sanders). Josh's team construction could warrant a closer look as they have managed to stay a consistent winner while statistically measuring out to pure middle of the pack. What is the secret here? Our initial guess is that So Buckets are only "weak" in the high variance / low volume categories, where a few quick bursts put them into weekly categorical contention. Genius?

Bonus Section
GAMES PLAYED (27.6 / 26.6 / 23.4)
Remember, our absolute hard cap for a typical week is 29 games played per week. I was curious if anyone came close to that. As it turned out, most everyone did. The top half of the league got in 26.5+ GP and it’s only one more game played for our best managed team. I didn’t think this category would yield much insight and basically I was right. Most people got within 2.5 games of our league leaders LA Buffy and Beast Brawlers. Let’s give Roger and Thien high marks for top coaching, or at least maximizing their teams’ efforts. Low marks for whoever is manning the helm for Inept Henchmen, Funk Coalition, and Jedi Knights. Those three are coincidentally a combined 13-33-1, and all in last place in their division. Intriguingly, the other last place team is Buffy, who has been sticking in his players but apparently not to much result. What gives?
Magic Number: Just get your players in there, otherwise fire your coach!

MOVES (6.4 / 2.0 / 0.6)
Do roster moves factor into wins? Our most active GM, Thien, has his Beast Brawlers at 7-7-1. His compatriot in scouring the waiver wire, Trieu, makes 4.9 moves per week and he leads the league with thirteen wins. NJ All-Stars only averages 1.1 moves per week yet they’re 10-5. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what counts as a “move.” Personally my moves show 36 but from my transactions page, only about 20 of those were adds. Anyone have some insight? Either way, go Thien, Trieu, and Eric for making lots of moves, we like GM activity!

That's nice, but what about by per game numbers?
As we know, the Standings page on ESPN only gives us Season Stats in total form, which is annoying to say the least. I wish we could filter by month, as well as showing how many individual games were played. I luckily have a lot of time on my hands (obviously) and put in Games Played for each team, then divided the totals by that.

As you’ll see in the “Per Game” tab of the Google Doc, that can significantly change a team’s rank, and might be a better reflection of how your team is really doing. Someone who has played 440 games played versus someone who has only logged 390 would clearly have more total stats. So if you want, you can scroll through and filter on the Google Doc to see how your team matches up by individual stat line.

An example of the type of changes I'm talking about: Accounting for individual games, Spade sneaks to #2 in PTS, and Chunky Monkeys and Half Man Half ImAsian are actually top five per game at scoring, knocking out Beast Brawlers and Eron, Joven and Chandler. As for the bottom, Fob Stars and LA Buffy are actually the teams that have troubling scoring, pushing Funk Coalition and Jedi Knights out of the dredges. That means you might not be as great/awful as your weekly totals reflect. Now if only we could look at total stats by time period, c'mon ESPN!

Also, it's fun to be able to see a team’s stats seen as a semi-recognizable basketball line. For example, here is HalfMan Half ImAsian, who averages 15.6 PTS, 6.9 REB, 2.6 AST, 0.8 3PT, 1.0 STL, 0.6 BLK, 1.9 TO per game. Neat right?

Who Are the True Franchise Players?

Since 2010 was our reset year, after three years of the old cycle, I wanted to take a look at which of those franchise cornerstones were still with their original teams. Here is that original draft article, plus the link to that entire draft. As you'll see, most of those guys were jettisoned.

Round One (2010)
"Nothing surprising up top. Lebron, CP3, and Dwayne Wade in short order. This being a dynasty league, taking LBJ was definitely the right move despite CP3's fantasy dominance. And while Kevin Durant and Danny Granger are hyped as the next best things, Wade is still a numbers monster -- if he can stay healthy. The only semi-surprise was Lakers' fan Steve passing up Kobe Bryant at five (very defensible since Kobe ain't that young anymore) and nabbing Dwight Howard. If you draft Dwight, the rest of your draft has to be carefully orchestrated and built around his strengths. It was a bold move and could pay big dividends as many of the lower drafting GMs were hoping to get Howard.

A slew of big men went in the latter half of the first round, in this order: Bosh, Nowitzki, Stoudemire, Jefferson, and Gasol. We'll see if that was the correct choice since all of them come with some red flags (age, injury, situation). The big shocker in Round One was Mikey's drafting of Gilbert Arenas. He's counting on the Hibachi returning to fantasy prominence but this was a huge gamble with Arenas' injury history. In a slightly smaller surprise, Suns superfan Eric-L takes old man Steve Nash, who has another two years max at elite level."
-The Jump Off (2010)-

Where Did They Go:

• #1 Lebron James, traded from Sour Snails (2011)
• #2 Chris Paul, traded from Chunky Monkeys (2014)
• #5 Dwight Howard, traded from Eron, Joven and Chandler, formerly 2005 NBA All-Star Team (2013)
• #6 Danny Granger, traded from Inept Henchmen, formerly Human Amoebas (2011)
• #8 Chris Bosh, traded from Fob Stars (2012)
• #9 Dirk Nowitzki, traded from Jedi Knights (2012)
• #10 Deron Williams, traded from Funk Coalition (2011)
• #11 Amare Stoudemire, traded from MoRRie's Pogiboys (2013)
• #12 Brandon Roy, traded from Buffy (2011)
• #13 Al Jefferson, traded from Squirtle Squad (2010)
• #15 Gilbert Arenas, traded from NJ All-Stars, formerly Nande? ReBuRonSAN (2011)
• #16 Steve Nash, cut from Fat Jubas' keeper roster (2014)

So who's still around on their original teams? It's a short list: Dwayne Wade, Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant, and Pau Gasol. Steve Nash technically made it back to the Jubas after he was unceremoniously dumped this off-season, but being selected in the normal draft -- even with Eric's 2014 RD1 pick -- isn't the same. It's safe to say that Nash lost his franchise player status.

Of the remaining original franchise guys, we are confident that Durant will likely stay with Half Man Half ImAsian for the next decade or so, but there's a decent chance that Wade could be traded eventually. I mean, CP3 just got moved so anything can happen. Will Kobe and Pau get to retire their numbers with their original teams? (Kobe is back on the same squad after being up for the dispersal draft this year.) Everyone else clearly had little to no loyalty to their original first rounders.

While we're here, let's take a look at how keepers have evolved over the past few seasons. We did this this right after our first season, Keeper Analysis 2011, so let's do it again. Bolded names are players drafted in the first six rounds that still remain as keepers with their original team.

Teams with the most top six players still around: Super Ninja, who amazingly still has four of their top six. Dwayne Wade, Paul Pierce, Andrew Bynum, Rudy Gay. In order to boot. That's great drafting by Thien. Buffy, Human Amoebas, and 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps all retain three of their original draft picks.

Teams with zero players left from their top six rounds: Chunky Monkeys, Squirtle Squad, NJ All-Stars, Fat Jubas, and Eron Joven Chandler. (Although the NJ All-Stars had Andre Iguodala moved off due to the dispersal draft.) The Squirtles moved four of their top six through trades: Al Jefferson, Carmelo Anthony, Tyreke Evans, and Blake Griffin, which is impressive.

A lot of teams are down to one lone original keeper, especially after this off-season: Sour Snails (Steph Curry), Oliver (Kevin Durant), Fob Stars (Zach Randolph), Funk Coalition (Tony Parker), Pogiboys (Brandon Jennings), and So Buckets (Pau Gasol). And how about that OJ Mayo? He surprised as an unexpected long time keeper. Jedi Knights have kept Mayo -- and David Lee -- for the haul.

Now to take a look at the lower round selections that ended up being keepers still -- not necessarily with their original team. As you can see, James Harden, taken late in 2010 RD11, has clearly gone from scrub to All Star in impressive fashion. Plus he's still on the team that drafted him, Evan's Chunky Monkeys!

Rodney Stuckey and Luol Deng, both 2010 RD7 picks, almost made the cut for this list but were dumped this past off-season. Spencer Hawes and Jamal Crawford are new keepers this year, both playing for their non-original teams. Hawes had never been a keeper before, but Crawford was one in 2011. And how about that Kyle Lowry, 2010 RD11.12 pick and still going strong!

Keepers: Chamberlain Conference

Time to look at the newly declared keepers for 2014. Last year we took a little spin through each division before the season started, giving a season preview for each squad, but with an expansion draft and then a real draft coming up, we may not have time for that. Instead we'll point you to those capsules from the beginning of the 2013 season -- how times change -- and just look at keeper holdovers. [ 2013 Silverhawks | Transformers ]

Silverhawks Division
Sour Snails
Trieu made huge moves last season, mainly acquiring a whole new set of players in exchange for Kevin Love. He hit jackpot with Rookie of the Year Damian Lillard and then another megatrade for Russell Westbrook gave the Snails a five guard lineup of Lillard, Westbrook, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, and Monta Ellis. Stick those five around DeMarcus Cousins and we're excited to see where this high powered team can go. Off the roster from last off-season: Love, Josh Smith, Danilo Gallinari, Raymond Felton.

Fat Jubas
Eric (now the only Eric left in the league) underwent a big revamp too, one year after winning the SlamNation championship with a team that featured Steve Nash and Kevin Garnett. Now both are gone and it's rebuilding time. The lone holdovers, Nicolas Batum and Gordon Hayward are both high upside youngsters and Jubas now now feature Marc Gasol and Jonas Valanciunas on the inside with Tyreke Evans and Jeff Green providing mercurial potential on the wings. It's a fond farewell for Nash and KG, but their time as fantasy keepers is done.

Fob Stars
Last year's Fob Stars keepers included Michael Beasley, Emeka Okafor, and Chris Kaman so really, anything should be an upgrade this season. However, Jimmy was a bit slow to move on some trades -- we would have loved to see them be aggressive and get Greg Monroe or Brook Lopez, or both -- and will have Kemba Walker, Dion Waiters, and Gerald Henderson replacing the crap sandwich from last year. The other three holdovers are Zach Randolph, Joakim Noah, and Lou Williams. Can this team continue to upgrade its talent while remaining competitive? Time will tell.

Jedi Knights
We lauded Lum's offseason moves for Amare Stoudemire, DeAndre Jordan, Luis Scola last season but only Jordan proved to be keeper worthy. Now Lum will return Jordan with O.J. Mayo, Thaddeus Young, and David Lee. Greivis Vasquez was acquired via trade -- for Wesley Matthews -- and the other keeper is 2013's RD3 pick, Chandler Parsons. There's a bright future here, if Lum can nail his two first rounders this season, #3 and #4 overall.

Transformers Division
LA Buffy
Even while shuffling his lineup, Buffy remains a strong contender. Out the door goes Danny Granger and Elton Brand, replaced by Jameer Nelson and Raymond Felton -- acquired last mid-season for Andrew Bogut. GM Roger decided he needed to balance out his strong frontline -- Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, Tim Duncan -- and give Jeremy Lin some help in the backcourt. This team is still long in the tooth, but obviously effective.

Squirtle Squad
Brian revamped his keeper core quite a bit this past off-season with some big decisions. There was a lot of keeper worthy talent on the Squirtles' roster and management saw fit to trade away Greg Monroe and Brook Lopez. Deron Williams and Ty Lawson, along with Serge Ibaka, are holdovers but Bradley Beal, Tobias Harris, and Nikola Vucevic give this team some intriguing new pieces. Left behind was old stalwart Joe Johnson, who has clearly lost his All-Star luster.

Half Man Half ImAsian
A nice and easy offseason for Oliver. He kept a tight five of Kevin Durant, LaMarcus Aldridge, Anderson Varejao, Ersan Ilyasova, and JaVale McGee. With Rodney Stuckey no longer proving to be keeper worthy, a 2015 RD1 pick was traded away for Greg Monroe. We love the upgrade at here and this could now be an fearsome front line if McGee develops. And let's keep in mind that Oliver gets the #1 overall pick this season after winning the Toilet Bowl. Shock us with Anthony Bennett!

Eron, Joven and Chandler
After a big keeper shakeup last season, his first as an owner, Lucas finds some stability by electing to stick with Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, Ricky Rubio, Jeff Teague, and Derrick Favors. New addition Enes Kanter is clearly an upgrade over aging Manu Ginobili, the Spurs' championship dream killer. We're excited to see this team grow from within.

Keepers: Russell Conference

Out of the sixteen first round picks last season, only six became keepers the following year. Here's the full list: Anthony Davis, Damian Lillard, Dion Waiters, Kenneth Faried*, Andre Drummond, Jonas Valanciunas. The * for Faried is assuming he gets kept by one of the new owners. Does that help value the strength of a first round pick? Who's the say really, as seven second rounders last year were on this year's keeper rosters: Kemba Walker, Thaddeus Young, Jeff Green, Jameer Nelson, J.R. Smith, Bradley Beal, Greivis Vasquez. Maybe even Harrison Barnes and George Hill pending new ownership decisions. [ 2013 Voltron | Thundercats ]

Voltron Division
So Buckets
Josh has slowly acquired some fantastic assets while rebuilding from his expansion season. Kyrie Irving is here to lead the way and last year resulted in LARRY SANDERS! being discovered. He's not the only new face as Moe Harkless will be kept too -- out goes Gerald Wallace and Darren Collison. Pau Gasol, Andre Igoudala, and Evan Turner remain from the previous season.

Super Ninja
There's something to be said for consistency. For the second year in a row, Thien is keeping the same six guys: Dwayne Wade, Paul Pierce, Andrew Bynum, Rudy Gay, John Wall, and Tyson Chandler. (The last players to break that up was Chris Kaman and Raymond Felton in 2011.) We could make an argument for DeMar DeRozan or Nikola Pekovic as keepers, but who would they replace? Now let's see if Thien can keep one team name for the whole season...

MoRRie's Pogiboys
Brandon Jennings, Mike Conley, and Roy Hibbert are back while Tristan Thompson, Marcus Thornton, and Brandon Knight are gone. Last year's overall number one pick, Anthony Davis, is a huge upgrade obviously, and we like a late move for Brook Lopez -- Alvin gave up 2014 RD3, 2015 RD6. New Sixth Man of the Year J.R. Smith is better than Marcus Thornton ever was, and we think Pogiboys will be able to add another special piece with their #2 overall pick in this year's upcoming draft.

Human Amoebas
This former champ, who looked absolutely unbeatable as recently as 2011, is now going to be sent to the meatpacker. Eric-A's team was never short on talent but injuries ground this team to dust recently. A huge trade for Kevin Love last season -- losing DeMarcus Cousins, Monta Ellis, Andre Drummond, Metta World Peace -- brought in another franchise piece to pair with Derrick Rose. We think the 2014 keeper core could have looked like this: Rose, Love, Dirk Nowitzski, Eric Bledsoe, Paul Millsap, and either Eric Gordon or Harrison Barnes. That would've been something. Instead the Amoebas are no more and the franchise awaits a new owner and keeper core!


Thundercats Division
NJ All-Stars
Lebron James is flanked by Paul George, Kyle Lowry, and Ryan Anderson again. Replacing Isaiah Thomas and Luol Deng as keepers will be Jose Calderon and Spencer Hawes. We are interested in GM Eddie's thinking as he tinkers with the perfect pieces to keep around an incredible forward combo of James and George. When you have King James onboard, there's not a lot else you need!

Chunky Monkeys
One of our die-hard small ball teams, the Monkeys are powered by Chris Paul, James Harden, Goran Dragic, and Jrue Holiday. A trade brought in sharpshooter Wesley Matthews last season, and he will take Aaron Afflalo's spot. The interesting thing is that Andrea Bargnani has been dumped in favor of Markieff Morris, a move we can't quite make a positive or negative call on yet. Strong man David West never fit on this team last year, and will be left to dangle.

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps
The returning champs abdicated the throne and would have left behind a keeper core built around an injured Kobe Bryant. It's safe to say that Al Horford, Kawhi Leonard, and possibly Kevin Martin would have been kept, but after that it would have probably been a combo of Kenneth Faried, Jamal Crawford, and maybe George Hill to displace Kris Humphries and Bismack Biyombo. All that is academic now as this team will be re-drafted.

Funk Coalition
After a year of rebuilding -- with a ton of trades -- Jon has the makings of a team that finally makes thematic sense. Russell Westbrook, Marc Gasol, and Tyreke Evans were moved aside for Al Jefferson, Josh Smith, and Andre Drummond. Those three will flank Dwight Howard to form a gigantic front line -- with Marcin Gortat left to dangle -- while Tony Parker and Rajon Rondo will collectively shoot the fewest 3PT out of any point guard tandem.