Draft Review

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In what could possibly be our last year, or at least the last year before we reset keepers (or evaluate and see what we'd like to do), the draft ended up being full of upside and speculation. We introduce Jimmy (an old Slamnation champion from an earlier incarnation) and say good bye to Ping. Off season trades shook up the league a little but not as much as the previous summer. On the eve before the season kicks off, let's take a look at how each team did in the draft.

(1) 100AcrePoohBears
Another season spent struggling in the Toilet Bowl for J's team -- at least they won it all this time. The good news is that last year's team who picked first vaulted all the way to the top and took the championship. So there's a good chance J's team can do the same based on, um, history. Last year's mid-season trades really shook the Bears up. Mike Bibby to Atlanta, Shawn Marion to Miami, and Pau Gasol to the Lakers. Those probably translate to slight statistical decreases across the board. Bibby will garner more AST but Marion won't have Steve Nash anymore and Gasol has to compete for REB/BLK with Andrew Bynum. Plus, Josh Childress jumped ship for Europe.

Having said all that though, number one overall pick Michael Beasley could be an immediate double-double contributor. Last year's draft pick, Rodney Stuckey, looks ready to increase his numbers and this year's second round draft pick, fellow Piston Amir Johnson, has been elevated to the starting lineup. This team is still intriguing on paper with a good mix of big and small and could easily do better than their 8-12 record and make it out of the Toilet Bowl.

(2) Fobsters
Another Toilet Bowl veteran, Ping's team is loaded with big names but few successes. With new management stepping in, the hope is that a steady hand and a new outlook will give Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Lamar Odom, and the rest of this stellar cast a chance to get to the playoffs. The off-season definitely helped out Vince Carter, who will probably be a monster now that he's the only real player on the Nets. The Fobsters also own Richard Jefferson, who will be basically the same player in Milwaukee. Marcus Camby is grumbling about being shipped out to the Clippers for pennies, but he'll still put up REB and BLK.

The biggest problem for this team is the same as last year: guards, specifically point guards. Earl Watson, Luke Ridnour, Marcus Williams (now in Golden State), and Mike Conley are all pretty mediocre. Watson might get some big AST numbers, Ridnour should do better than he did in Seattle, and maybe Conley will emerge in his sophmore year, but it's all a bit of maybe's. The draft didn't add a point guard but rookie OJ Mayo will be an excellent all around fantasy player and maybe Darko Milicic will put up 2 BLKs a game in support of Camby. Jimmy will have to make some moves to get his team squared up but he's got quite the mouthwatering supply of talent to do it with.


(3) Funk Coalition
The bottom fell out for the Funk last season. Working with a bunch of point guards, most of them underachieved or simply fell apart. TJ Ford, Randy Foye, Jameer Nelson, and Raymond Felton all did worse than the previous year. Big scorers Carmelo Anthonoy and Michael Redd dipped in the PTS department, and that's pretty much all she wrote for a team that was already jettisioning four categories. The good news is that Ford has been moved to the Pacers and will get a chance to play full time. Randy Foye is finally healthy and ready to contribute, and the team still has Lebron James.

Curiously, GM Jon took Kevin Love in the first round, and he obviously doesn't fit the needs of this squad. Does this portend a shake up? With their second rounder, they picked up Eddie House, who will be a sparkplug off the bench for the defending champs. The question will be if this team has another run in it, or if it's back to the drawing board with the (bad) point guards strategy.

(4) Jedi Knights
New owner Chris had a rough go of it in his first year. It's always tough to inherit a team and he did the best he could but that only amounted to three wins (and one tie) on the season. However, Lum showed that he had the savvy to see his team's weaknesses and moved quickly to address them with his draft by selecting two rookie point guards, Portland's Jerryd Bayless and Seattle's Russell Westbrook. This team was desperately hurting for some AST and guards, and now Sam Cassell and Steve Francis will either be cut or related to the glue factory.

Last year found Al Thornton emerging as a nice surprise alongside the already huge lineup of Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard, Emeka Okafor, Brad Miller, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas. The off season yielded good results for Mike Miller (ready to fire it up in Minnesota), Matt Barnes (now starting for the Suns) and Nate Robinson (now playing in a Suns style offense). What the Jedi Knights really need to unleash the force though, is a return to form by Luol Deng and maybe a move or two to move away from their core strength of big men.


(5) Human Amoebas
The Amoebas finally made a waiver move or two last season and slipped into the playoffs with a 9-11 season. There was a lot of fall off from their previous season as Jarrett Jack and Andrea Bargnani really underachieved. The good news is that Amare Stoudemire became a force next to Shaq and Marvin Williams emerged as a good PTS-REB option. Plus, the decline of Jason Kidd is really only in real life as his fantasy value remains consistent. The big question for Eric-A is how to get his team to perform better all around.

It looks like there's enough talent on-hand to get to the playoffs again, especially if first rounder Derrick Rose can carve out significant minutes and if Quentin Richardson flourishes again under Mike D'Antoni. Last year's second round pick, Spencer Hawes might become a viable big man option but that's a long shot. Another option might be this year's selection, forward Donte Green, but he's possibly trapped behind Ron Artest and Shane Battier in Houston. I guess the key to this team's improvement will be centered around Derrick Rose and his highly anticipated rookie season.

(6) Fat Jubas
A deep team on paper, the Jubas took a step back last season under the weight of hefty injuries. Coming off a 16-4-1 record in 2007, they fell to 11-8-1 due to long term injuries to Dwayne Wade and Jermaine O'Neal. This season, both are healthy but it's Tracy McGrady's turn to start the season dinged up. But it may not matter because this team has talent coming out of its pores. Corey Maggette will be the man in Golden State, Al Jefferson has emerged fully as a force, and Andre Iguodala and LaMarcus Aldridge will probably be better too.

A pair of point guard picks in this year's draft, Rudy Fernandez and Chris Duhon, could both pay big dividends if given time. Rudy was a highlight of the gold medal game and Duhon can run and gun in the Knicks' new up tempo attack. And let's not forget Yi Jianlian, who might be in line for some sophmore improvements. Or, um, maybe not. In any case, look for the Jubas to vault up the standings if two out of three of their big guns can stay healthy.

(7) Chunky Monkeys
The Monkeys found themselves in a similar situation to the Jubas. A stellar 2007 and a run to the Finals followed by a lackluster 2008. Losing Gilbert Arenas for most of the season didn't help matters and the team might have to move on without him this season too. Luckily for Evan, his team is still full of talent. Danny Granger emerged as the new Shawn Marion and is now a top fantasy player, taking a lot of the pressure off. There's a good mix of young and old and fine team balance but it'll be tough without Arenas and Manu Ginobili to start the season.

New center Andray Blatche could be a BLK machine, on a team already armed with Tyson Chandler, Josh Smith, and Andris Biedrins. It wouldn't hurt for the Monkeys to look for some point guard help, especially if Mo Williams can't replicate his outstanding numbers beside Lebron and Co. The sleeper on this team is Charlie Villanueva, who is now the starting PF for the Bucks. Second rounder Paul Millsap is injury insurance only and probably won't see significant time. The Monkeys are still loaded and ready for a return to the Finals and we predict that they'll do signifcantly better than last year if they can find some guards to hold out until Manu and Gilbert come back.

(8) The Poobic Heirs
Oliver's team may have fallen early in the playoffs but that's probably not a sign of their decline. In fact, the one time champs are one of the favorites for the championship this year. The only reason they fell out of contention was because of a hole at center late in the year (Yao Ming and Samuel Dalembert were both hurt), but that situation may have been rectified as GM Oliver might win GM of the Year for drafting Greg Oden last year and then sitting on him. If Oden is as good as advertised defensively, Yao's frailty won't be as big of an issue.

The Heirs have a stellar scoring backcourt in Kobe Bryant, Kevin Martin, Devin Harris, and Monta Ellis (out to start the season). There's a distinct lack of true point guards on the roster, aside from possibly Kirk Hinrich, who will probably be pushed aside by Derrick Rose at some point. That's why first round pick Ramon Sessions might be important. The second pick brought in crowd favorite Chris "The Birdman" Andersen, who probably won't get much play behind Rasheed Wallace and Andrew Bogut but could be useful if either one of them goes down. The Heirs are going to be a much tougher out this year, there's no doubt about it.

(9) MoRRie's Pogiboys
The team that took out The Poobic Heirs had a true Cinderella season. From worst to second place in the East behind the heist of 2007 -- acquiring Chris Paul for Elton Brand, who subsequently got injured. Now that CP3 has emerged as an astounding fantasy force, the Pogiboys have taken their game to another level. Another huge factor in their drastic improvement was the emergence of Rudy Gay as a franchise player, along with the solid play of rookie Al Horford.

Alvin is hoping for more of the same from the young trio and must be delighted that Andrew Bynum is healthy and looking very bulked up. Guard depth is a slight issue with the team, as there isn't much behind Chris Paul or Chauncey Billups. The draft brought in college hero Mario Chalmers, who has an outside chance of playing lots of minutes for a rebuilding Miami squad. Now that first round pick John Salmons has a starting gig, he's likely to put up drool worthy numbers on the Kings, which will really help round out a team that is sneaky deep.

(10) Buffy
How was it possible for Buffy to essentially give away Chris Paul (Elton Brand was injured all season, Stephon Marbury was useless) but still handily win the West? Welcome to a team loaded with impact players at every position. Roger's team can go big or small and they were buoyed by career years by Jose Calderon and Mike Dunleavy. Now that Brand is back, he'll join Tim Duncan, Antawn Jamison, Rashard Lewis, Eddy Curry, and Kenyon Martin (plus Shaquille) on a versatile front line. Hell, Stephon Marbury might even have a decent 2008.

There's a good chance first round pick Marc Gasol could make a quick impact in Memphis but the same can't be said about second rounder Eric Gordon, who will have a hard time getting shooting guard minutes behind Cuttino Mobley and Ricky Davis. There's no reason to believe that Buffy won't be dominant in the regular season again, not with Elton coming back at full strength. The question will be if they can follow their success through to the post-season.

(11) Squirtle Squad
The Squad has won fourteen games in consecutive seasons and have taken the East two years running. However, they've had the unfortunate experience of losing to the champion in both seasons. The big Celtic trade last off-season ended up hurting both Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen's numbers, and the awesome depth that this team once had is dipping a little. At the end of the year, they were using Jeff Foster, Josh Powell, and Rasho Nesterovic on the frontline.

Still, it's not like they're bereft of big men as Garnett, Carlos Boozer, and the awesome David Lee will grab REBs by the bushel. JR Smith is looking to have a breakout year and his shooting will mitigate Ray Allen's declines. As long as Deron Williams and Brandon Roy keep improving, Brian's team won't have much to worry about and first round pick Wilson Chandler is being praised by Mike D'Antoni and praised as similar to Shawn Marion. Look for the Squad to really pull it together and make a big push for that elusive championship.

(12) Sour Snails
As KG said in June, "Anything is possible!" The league thought the Pogiboys had a Cinderella season but that's hardly a fairy tale compared to Trieu's 2008 season. They went from worst in the West (by a long shot), all the way up to second, and then upended powerhouse Buffy and Squirtle Squad on the way to a championship. The Sour Snails had the Midas touch with the waiver wire, firing through a league leading number of transactions, and played all the right notes.

The strange thing is that outside of adding Rookie of the Year Kevin Durant, the roster looked very similar to the year before. The emergence of Hedo Turkoglu as an all around force was huge, as was the return to form by Jason Richardson. With gunners at every position and Steve Nash and Allen Iverson leading the charge, the Snails really hit their stride late and started to blow people off the floor. Who says offense can't win championships?

This year's draft picks, Mickael Pietrus and Brook Lopez, don't seem to fit the team's current makeup but they'll have no problem sitting on the bench and cheering on their more decorated teammates. The Snails don't have any red flags or off-season changes and will be in contention for a repeat.

PERfect

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Oh what I would give to have John Hollinger's job. Watch the NBA all day and then apply fun statistical models to everything. As the new season approaches, Hollinger has given a break down for every player and even better, did individual scouting reports on all of them. That's insane! Seriously, like every player has a scouting report.

It revealed great things like how Tony Parker rarely uses his left hand, even on layups. Or how Dirk Nowitzki might be the best shooting big man of all time -- Larry Bird just rolled his eyes. And how Dwayne Wade is a huge gambler on defense. Armed with this information, my (W)NBA career is surely only a few months away.

Seriously, I'd want to these people's jobs: Bill Simmons, John Hollinger, or Steve Sabol. In that order.

Make sure to click on the player cards and check out the Hollinger reports. A few examples: Carmelo Anthony, Deron Williams, and Rajon Rondo. The most fascinating part of the reports is the little line at the bottom that compares the player in question to whom they're most like (at their current age). For example, Andrei Kirilenko is comparable to a young Derrick McKey. Michael Redd is Jerry Stackhouse. Joe Johnson is the second coming of Michael Finley. Plus lots of head scratchers like Shawn Marion is most similar to Chris Mullin?!

In other news, the Celtic's season opener and championship ring ceremony is on October 28th. Clear your social calendars. Also, the special edition DVDs of their season will be available starting then too. The set will feature complete games so everyone can relive their crushing victory over the Lakers. Over and over and over again...