Mid-Season 2018: Thundercats

An odds-on title winner runs rampant, momentarily stopped by a family member, while a former bottom dweller finally emerges from the depths. [Pre-season 2018]

Chunky Monkeys (14-1)
For awhile there, Evan’s team threatened to go undefeated this regular season, before getting upended by cousin Eddie in WK14. That’s good news I guess. The bad news for the rest of SlamNation is that James Harden is back and he just dropped a historic sixty-point triple double… Since building a super team two years ago, Monkeys have been focused on only one goal, the championship, so all this regular season success won’t mean much to their fans. After getting bounced in the first round after a one-loss season last year, coach Evan needs to stay focused. Let’s hope he doesn’t have any vacations schedule for April this year…

Returning a duo of Harden and LeBron James gives Monkeys the top two MVP candidates, and even with Kyle Lowry struggling, the emergence of sophomore Kris Dunn has given this team even more backcourt dominance. Moving on from Serge Ibaka to Clint Capela was also the right choice, keeper wise, as Capela is having a breakout season. With two MVP candidates, a strong frontline (Capela, Marc Gasol), a plethora of useful wings (Otto Porter Jr., Caris LeVert, Allen Crabbe) — not to meant a weakened Sour Snails, and injuries to DeMarcus Cousins and John Wall for Thien’s team — this version of the Monkeys better win the title! Or else...

Funk Coalition (10-4-1)
Despite commissioning this league for years and years, Jon’s team hasn’t had a winning season until now. In a stunning twist, Funk Coalition is actually good! They’re middle of the pack in most categories, lead the league in FG%, and are poised for their second playoff appearance. The payoff of winning two straight Toilet Bowls is finally here, as Karl-Anthony Towns and ROY candidate Ben Simmons are both franchise cornerstones.  This year’s draft also brought in a fine rookie, Jayson Tatum, who has flashed star potential from early on.

And while keepers Derrick Favors and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope have been wildly inconsistent, the return of Nikola Mirotic and the mid-season trade for Josh Richardson has replaced them in the lineup to delightful results. Freed from the albatross of punting four/five categories, Funk is on a month long winning streak and if D’Angelo Russell can find a way to return to his early season success, Jon’s team of many wings plus KAT and Simmons could finally make some noise in something other than the Toilet Bowl!

Swamp Dragons (7-6-2)
After winning a Toilet Bowl, the expected return is a franchise level player. Well, Eddie didn’t exactly get that. Instead he got the mystery that is Markelle Fultz and Swamp management must be regretting the decision to not grab Dennis Smith Jr., as previously considered. While Swamp waits to see what it has in Fultz, the climb back to contention continues, and with a 5-1 record in recent weeks — including four wins against top teams — this team is right on track.

The strong and diverse core of Paul George, Nikola Jokic, Dennis Schroder, Andrew Wiggins, Robert Covington, and Jusuf Nurkic bring a great balance to the team. The mid-season trade for Jeff Teague has filled in the hole left by the presumptive point guard of the future, and Eric Gordon is more than qualified to be the seventh-best player on this team. Add in the intriguing Taurean Prince and Swamp may not even need Fultz to play this season to escape the Toilet Bowl after three straight appearances. Although getting a glimpse of the #1 overall pick would be nice...

Team Spade (2-13)
After four straight seasons in the playoffs, Randall is headed toward his first Toilet Bowl since entering the league. The least number of wins Spade has had in those seasons has been twelve, and with only two wins so far, it’s likely Spade is slotted into our worst record for the seasons already. Why the dramatic fall? As always: injuries.

Kawhi Leonard has played nine games, Paul Millsap sixteen, Reggie Jackson and Dion Waiters have missed time. Kevin Love just broke his hand again. Ouch ouch ouch. Currently we’re seeing five “O” designations on this team and three “DTDs.” A full 75% of this team is hurt! Is it time for Randall to consider moving away from his stellar keeper core, or is it just about waiting for the perfect moment when everyone comes back healthy to challenge for a title? Unfortunately, the only title Spade will be fighting for is a Toilet Bowl one this year. But if they can win a high pick, this team could be right back to title contention in a hurry.