Midseason: Top Eight

There’s talks that the NBA is considering a midseason tournament. What would it look like if we froze the standings now and had our playoffs? Let’s take a look at the top four teams from each conference! [ Preseason: Chamberlain | Russell ]

Chamberlain Conference
SQSQ Squirtle Squad (8-2-1)
After starting the season off with an 8-1 record, SQSQ has slipped in recent weeks, with two losses versus Fob Stars (by 1 3PT and 1 TO) and Cameltoe (by two 3PT and 1 STL). With a big matchup this week versus Chunky Monkeys, we’re about to find out if Squirtle is indeed the best team in the league.

With Giannis and Bam Adebayo leading the way — plus the emergence of not only Devonte’ Graham but also Jordan McRae and a little Isaiah Hartenstein — Brian’s team is loaded and already looking ahead to the playoffs. Their only weakness seems to be an inability to protect the rim — only ranked eleventh there in the past month — but otherwise this team is pretty much good to go as they are the only team in SlamNation with both a top-three rated offense and defense.

SPDE Spade (7-3-1)
Spade had a great start to the season as well, with one loss followed by six wins and a tie. They’ve suffered two losses to some top teams in recents weeks — versus Swamp Dragons in WK9 and Fat Jubas in WK10 — but was able to manage a tie against top ranked SQSQ in WK6.

Randall’s team has been relatively healthy this year and even with Kawhi Leonard’s land management, there's no reason to believe that Spade isn’t as dangerous as ever. Kevin Love is back, Derrick Favors is back, and so far nobody has suffered a debilitating injury yet! Spade is very strong in 3PT, AST, BLK, and are the top FT% team in the league. However, they do suffer from a somewhat poor FG% and could use a lot of help in the STL department. Two upcoming games against the cream of the opposing conference — Chunky and Fob Stars loom — will tell us what Spade is actually capable of.

ILCN IL Conceived (7-4)
After starting off 2-3, Frank’s team has been on a tear lately, going 5-1 since late November. Their only loss was versus Chunky Monkeys and that bodes well for their future. Plus, future MVP Luka Doncic has been injured! In his place, Donovan Mitchell has really stepped up, with Dennis Schroder, Markelle Fultz, and rookie Darius Garland all adding some useful numbers the past few weeks. A team without a point guard to start the season now has an overabundance of them.

ILCN has impressive offensive numbers but is lacking somewhat on the boards and with a bit of FT% trouble. We’re about to see what a fully formed team can look like though, as Luka is back, Draymond is playing well, and Jaren Jackson has figured out that he’s nearly seven feet tall and can rebound. With seven wins, ILCN will surely surpass their franchise/owner high of eight wins from two years ago. It’s on to the playoffs for this team!

SBUK So Buckets (6-5)
Um, what is going on here? Is it a tank job? After starting off the season undefeated with six straight wins, So Buckets has dropped five in a row, threatening their playoff position. And unlike last year, Josh hasn’t had any low Games Played weeks, so what gives? A tougher schedule certainly, as they have faced off against Squirtles, Swamp, and Jubas in recent weeks, but being unable to pick up a win for an entire month isn’t great.

Was Kyrie Irving really that key to this team’s success? Irving has been out for awhile — as has Thomas Bryant — but Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert have been around, as have CJ McCollum and DeMar DeRoan. Sure, Eric Paschall has cooled off but this team would seem to be deep enough to withstand one or two injuries. On the season, Buckets is still tops in FG%, high on REB and BLK, and still league average in PTS even with Kyrie out. There is a definite lack of 3PT, AST, and STL here, so maybe this team is crying out for some backcourt help, even when Irving returns. We said before the season that this Toilet Bowl winner shouldn’t have any trouble avoiding the Toilet Bowl this season, but if they continue to slide, the loser’s tourney calls (again)!

Russell Conference
CHMK Chunky Monkeys (9-2)
The King is back! After stumbling out of the gates 1-2, Monkeys are now on an eight game tear, and will face off against Squirtle Squad this week for a monster matchup against the #1 and #2 teams in Slam. Even with injuries dotting their roster — Bogdan Bogdanovic, Davis Bertans, and Otto Porter Jr. are all out — the duo of a healthy LeBron James and James Harden is tough for anyone to beat. Evan’s team features the league’s top rated offense, paired with a top five defense, and are overall the top ODE team. Looks like a championship is back in Chunky’s sights!

They are ranked top three in PTS, 3PT, AST, STL, but there does seem to be a little room for help on the boards and along the frontline, as Clint Capela alone can’t quite hold it down himself with a roster full of mostly shooters for depth. We’ll see if anyone can stop the Monkey train but so far it’s looking like our title winner from two years ago is the favorite this season!

FOBS Fob Stars (7-4)
A surprising loss to the dramatically weakened Sour Snails last week doesn’t dampen the success that Jimmy has been having this season. They started off 5-1 and have gone about 0.500 the rest of the way, even dealing the first loss to Squirtles in WK10. Damian Lillard has been incredible and he’s got the right kind of offensive help with Jamal Murray and Bojan Bogdanovic alongside him.

The loss of rookie Rui Hachimura will be offset by the return of John Collins, which should help Fob’s woeful REB and BLK ratings. Even with DeAndre Jordan and Jarrett Allen patrolling the paint, this team can’t protect the rim at all, ranking dead last in that category. Everything else looks pretty good though, as Jimmy’s team has an excellent offense with top tier efficiency to boot. Some defensive help could push these Stars into proper contention, which would be a nice step up for a franchise perpetually on the verge.

FJUB Fat Jubas (7-4)
With Sour Snails out of the way, Jubas has their biggest rival gone as a championship threat. Will that give Eric’s team the necessary window to reassert their contender status? They started the season off 2-3 but have gone 5-1 since.

The backcourt trio of Chris Paul, Jrue Holiday, and Fred VanVleet are outstanding when healthy, and there is the right kind of defensive talent around them with Robert Covington and Myles Turner. Jonas Valanciunas has been incredible of late and Joe Ingles has finally turned to corner to return his 2020 RD1 draft status. This team could be ready to jump up another level, as many of their top guys are still returning to form or even slightly underachieving on the season.

Fat Jubas are very balanced, rating top three in total ODE with 8/3/7, featuring that third rated defense. A bit more scoring punch could help, as Jubas are ranked third to last there, but with such a stingy defense, maybe it doesn’t matter. In recent weeks, their 3PT and FT% have both ticked up to good levels and while that low FG% likely can’t be fixed, the upside is that Eric’s team is efficient and productive.

SWMP Swamp Dragons (7-4)
Another team on a run, Swamp had a 5-1 stretch from WK5-10, until a loss to IL Conceived last week. They’ve already stomped over Monkeys, Fobs, and Spade this year, so it could be said that Eddie’s team isn’t afraid of anybody. The return of Paul George probably has something to do with that, as he’s paired with the shocking Kelly Oubre Jr. — and Khris Middleton — to form one of the best wing combos in the league. Getting Richaun Holmes, Tomas Satoransky, Alec Burks, and Damion Lee has added greatly to this team’s depth, and we love rookie Brandon Clarke’s incredible FG%.

All of that adds up to the top rated ODE team in over the past month, as Swamp is dominating with an ODE of 2/2/1, which is just incredible as they are basically top two ranked in PTS, 3PT, REB, STL, and both percentages. The only thing Swamp is lacking for total dominance is a bit of extra AST and BLK, but nobody can have everything, can they? The scary thing is we haven’t even mentioned the return to form by early season slumper Nikola Jokic, or the return of DeAndre Ayton — although D’Angelo Russell is hurt. If there’s anyone who can challenge Monkeys for tops in Russell, it looks like cousin Eddie could do it. Note: Eddie’s Crunch Bunch just lost to Evan’s eventual champion Chunky Monkeys in our football league, so this could be a nice revenge!