Weekly: Fantastic Four

Last time we looked at our three bottom dwellers. So this time let’s flip it around and look at our top teams after six weeks, three of which are from the Chamberlain Conference. Let's step it up Russell!

SBUK So Buckets (6-0)
After a tough season last year, So Buckets are here to claim contender status once again. Raise your hand if you thought rookie RJ Barrett would be this good? With 15.4 PTS, 5.5 REB, 3.3 AST, plus 1.4 STL and a three, Barrett is producing quite well, albeit with a shocking 52.4 FT% — yes, that’s free throws.

Throw in the free agent pickups of rookie Eric "new Warriors leading scorer" Paschall and Dillon Brooks and that’s two more pieces added to an already formidable squad. I guess winning the Toilet Bowl really can jump you right back to the top eh? This team is loaded and even with Kyrie Irving in and out of the lineup, they should be able to fight for a division title and a deep playoff run.

SBUK has been riding its second ranked defense to the top — Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert now have Thomas Bryant next to them — while pairing it with a league average offense and some not-so-great efficiency. While So Buckets sit atop the standings, they are only fourth in net ODE rating. Not that it matters because wins are wins!

The only caveat to SBUK’s early success is that they’ve only picked up two wins over 0.500+ teams — and one of those was a shortened WK1 matchup versus Spade. Still, this is great bounce back season for Josh and we’re happy to see him on top!

SPDE Spade (5-1)
After that first week loss to So Buckets in WK1, Spade has ripped off five wins in a row, including a tight 5-4 win last week against Squirtle Squad — taking the win by one BLK or six AST. On the season, SPDE is measuring out as the top rated ODE team, with a third-best offense paired with top four defense and efficiency. The only weakness they’ve exhibited so far is a lack of STL, but with Kawhi Leonard back in action, even that slight issue could be resolved.

Is Spade the best team in SlamNation? Well, we’ll find out when they get hit with their usual spate of injuries. For now, Brook Lopez is a little dinged up, Kawhi is always on load management, and Derrick Favors remains on the bench. Also, RIP 3.11 pick Zach Collins, who is basically out for the season after dislocating his shoulder.

Still, Devin Booker and Kevin Love are back, Al Horford and Jeff Teague are still doing their thing, and OG Anunoby is in the midst of a breakout season — 2.1 combined STL/BLK with 1.7 3PT. SPDE goes twelve deep when healthy and all it’ll take is Randall’s prayers to keep them upright and headed toward another Finals appearance.

SQSQ Squirtle Squad (5-1)
Proving that last year’s twelve wins were no mirage, Squirtle Squad and possible back-to-back NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo are proving to always be formidable, ripping off five wins to start the season until they dropped a nail biter to Spade in WK6.

We want to talk about Squirtle’s breakout player of the year: Bam… Haha, just kidding. While the trade for Bam Adebayo and the just returning Blake Griffin has been stellar — Adebayo has been basically Giannis-lite minus the scoring and threes — the real star of the early season has been sophomore Devonte’ Graham, who has seized the point guard role in Charlotte and is putting up 18.2 PTS, 7.4 AST, and 3.4 3PT per game. Dejounte who?! (Yes, Dejounte Murray is back from injury and he’s been okay…) While Graham isn’t a youngster — he’s twenty-four already — getting him for $0 FAAB is the kind of move that could make a good team into a great team.

And while GM Brian lost faith in Moritz Wagner rather quickly, he’s now back on the squad and doing some breaking out of his own. And now Carmelo Anthony and Blake are here! Phew, are we gushing? This team is well balanced too, with a top five offense and a top three defense. The only worry is a horrible efficiency, mostly due to a wretched showing in FT%, which can’t be helped since Giannis is shooting 58.6 FT% on eleven attempts a game. Even Lou Williams and Blake’s fine free throw shooting can’t offset Giannis and Bam’s poor form there. But who cares!

SQSQ is ranked first in AST, second in REB, and has top five showings in PTS, STL, FG%. (BLK and 3PT could use some juicing up maybe.) We’ll see what Squirtle Squad is capable of as they have a matchup with undefeated So Buckets this week, and the winner will ascend to first in the Chamberlain Conference, if not the entire league.

FOBS Fob Stars (5-1)
Our lone team from the Russell Conference to make an appearance, FOB toppled Funk Coalition last week to end an undefeated November. They’ve picked up 5-4 wins every week, and their lone loss has been to Swamp Dragons. With a cupcake schedule coming up, Fob Stars could very well be on a seven game winning streak before they face off against SQSQ in a big WK10 matchup around Christmas. This seems like the year Jimmy finally is breaking through and it’s a welcome sight to behold for Fob fans around the world.

Damian Lillard has been spectacular as usual and he’s gotten extra offensive help from new acquisitions Bojan Bogdanovic, Jabari Parker (stepping in for the injured John Collins), and the previously mocked Jordan Clarkson (sorry!). Rookie Rui Hachimura is a double-double threat too, as he’s averaging 13.3 PTS and 5.6 REB on stellar percentages.

Most of all, pretty Ricky Rubio has fully returned to his pre-Utah days with 7.8 AST and 1.2 STL, while adding 1.3 3PT to boot. The two headed center mashup of Jarrett Allen and DeAndre Jordan seem to be working out as well, even if they can’t quite pick up FOB’s league worst BLK numbers.

So what is the top end for FOB? Well, their ODE rating is a second in efficiency, tenth in offense, and thirteen on defense. That’s mostly middling actually. But while Fob Stars aren’t great in most categories — outside of TOs — this has been a well coached team that makes few mistakes and is capable of toppling anyone in their way.