Mid-Season 2017: Thundercats

We’ve saved the best for last, as Thundercats boasts our lone undefeated team and feature three teams playing 0.500+ ball. There’s a chance we have three contenders coming out of here, and so far this season, Thundercats have proven to be the best division in SlamNation. [2017 Preview | 2016 Mid-Season]

Chunky Monkeys (11-0)
First, a thank you to Monkey for insuring that Snails doesn’t have another undefeated season, in a 8-1 pounding no less. We’re more than happy to welcome two juggernauts this year, mirroring the real life NBA. If we could somehow just get Durant to Snails and Kyrie to Monkeys, this would practically be the 2016-7 NBA Finals matchup right? Let’s look at where Monkeys stack up: they are third in REB and STL, second in PTS, FG%, BLKS, and first in 3PT and AST (both by wide margins). Impressive stuff. The uptick in AST is especially notable because James Harden is one-man wrecking machine and is throwing up 28.2 PTS, 11.8 AST, and 8.2 REB on the year. I won’t even mention his 3 3.0PT either. But it’s to see that Evan’s got a humming offense.

And now he’s got a frontline too, as Marc Gasol has been scoring well — albeit with 5.9 REB — and also tossing in 3PT, just like front court mate Serge Ibaka. It’s a shame Clint Capela went down for a few weeks, as he was breakout out with a near double-double and 1.6 BLK per. And then we add Otto Porter to the mix, to match alongside Jae Crowder as do-everything SF/PFs, and this juggernaut assembled is almost fated for a Finals appearance. And then if Harden, LeBron James, Kyle Lowry, and a deep collection of guys can’t take out Snails, is there anybody who can?!

Swamp Dragons (6-5)
After 6-13 and 4-14-1 records the past two seasons, we thought Swamp Dragons were still rebuilding. Instead, Eddie’s team is right back in the postseason hunt and while a little erratic, still have the goods to cause noise this season. It’s not easy to trade off LeBron James and Kyle Lowry and then bounce back just a year later. We were a little worried if Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker would return value for The King, but now both of them have added a three point shot, and Parker has really emerged to score almost as much as Wiggins. With two matchups against cousin Evan still looming ahead, Swamp will get to find out how close they are to being a contender again.

Along with that, Nikola Jokic has solidified his game after a horrific early season and has pushed Jusuf Nurkic aside to averages of 20.5 PTS, 9.3 REB, 5.7 AST, 1.0 STL and 61.3 FG% over his last two weeks. (Also: look at this Jokic pass, it's insane!) That’s the Jokic Eddie wanted to see, and he finally got him. Dennis Schroder has also, as expected, come up big in a starting role, and Eddie might have even nabbed another fine point guard prospect in rookie Malcolm Brogdon, who has come out of nowhere to average 7.0 AST. And with Reggie Jackson back, plus Robert Covington and DeMarre Carroll on the wings, all anchored by Paul George, it’s a nice mix. The Dragons aren’t quite back to full competition though, as they are pretty low in FG%, REB, and BLK. Even Super Jokic can’t do it alone on the front lines and all the other big guys on here are definitely small ball types.

Team Spade (6-5)
We power ranked Spade as the #2 franchise in SlamNation this summer, and they’ve had a long history of success. So it’s strange to see them struggling near 0.500 mark, after starting off 1-3. Already they’ve lost more games they did than all of last year, and they find themselves fighting with Swamp Dragons and So Buckets for a playoff spot. What gives? For one, Spade is ranked a disastrous last in FG%. Sure, they are first in FT%, but being unable to shoot has not been a hallmark of this team. Unfortunately, the fall guy may be sophomore Devin Booker, who is leading the team in shots attempted, but only dropping in 40.9% of his field goals. Also, old FG% stalwarts like Kawhi Leonard and Paul Millsap aren’t quite as otherworldly as before. Albeit, all those shots are getting Spade to fifth in PTS and second in 3PT. Plus they are a healthy fourth in AST and STL. So maybe there’s nothing to worry about.

Plus, look at all the good news Spade has: a healthy Eric Bledsoe, a return from family time off Jrue Holiday, a resurgent fantasy monster in Kevin Love, plus career highs in BLK/3PT from Al Horford. So what’s to worry about here? Well, that 6-5 record, that’s what. For a team with such talent and cohesiveness, six wins is a mystery, as Randall has suffered losses against not only the top tier teams in the league but also a few against lesser foes. For our back-to-back division champs, this could be the year they somehow backslide into the Toilet Bowl!

Funk Coalition (4-7)
After a lot of talk and bluster, Funk Coalition found themselves at the bottom of the barrel after a spanking by Sour Snails, and now face a total rebuild. The talk of the town is that every player is available, save Karl-Anthony Towns. Every. Single. Player. And for cheap! And even though they’ve picked up another two wins since being highlighted as one of the worst teams in the league, GM Jon knows the big ball experiment is over. Forget dominating the big man categories, as Funk is an atrocious twelfth in FG%, and can’t even get to first in REB. Meanwhile, their AST, STL, BLK, and TO are all average, which means they aren’t winning the categories they need to win. Sure, they could three-peat in the Toilet Bowl, but the Toilet Bowl is for losers!

The main problem this season has been the lack of AST coming from Ricky Rubio and Rajon Rondo. Rubio has been erratic and hurt, and scoring less than ever. And Rondo, Rondo isn’t even playing for the Bulls anymore. Draft day trades for Rondae Hollis-Jefferson, Evan Turner, and Nerlens Noel have come up empty — although Noel may be swinging into shape after injury. Things are so desperate for Funk that they just scooped up a player to hoard on IR that’s out of the entire season. Which means 2017 #1 overall pick Ben Simmons gets to the active roster, even though he has no timetable yet. Sigh.

Someone save this team, someone trade with Jon so he can get out of his misery. Otherwise he’ll be forced to stick with this stupid lineup and destroy the Toilet Bowl field once again, and be declared the Biggest Loser Ever. Save me!