2014 Finals Previews

FINALS PREVIEW
#1 NJ All-Stars (14-5) vs #2 Eron, Joven and Chandler (13-6)
Our Russell Conference favorites cruised to the Finals despite facing off against a potentially dangerous Spade team. NJ All-Stars dominated just about every category as they got a full slate of games from their big guns, plus three great games from recent acquisition Joakim Noah. By midweek, it was clear Spade was headed toward a loss despite their best efforts. LeBron James averaged 25.0 PTS, 7.8 REB, 6.0 AST on 55.4 FG% to lead the rout, but Paul George’s continued slump might be troubling -- George has shot less than forty percent in eight of his last nine games. This will be Eddie's second Finals appearance, after reaching the 2012 Finals as the underdog they'll be the heavy favorites this time out.

Over in the other conference finals, it was a whirlwind of a week as underdogs EJC jumped out to a huge early lead and then never relinquished it. Sour Snails tried to make a furious comeback on Sunday, and almost succeeded, but ultimately fell by 2 3PT, 7 REB, or 2 BLK. This was eerily similar to their upset last year by Buffy, also in the Chamberlain Conference finals, where Sour Snails was bounced by 2 3PT, 3 BLK, or 4 TOs. In retrospect, it looks like a missed game by Russell Westbrook might have been the difference this week, or even the half game missed by DeMarcus Cousins. For EJC, it was Carmelo Anthony and Jamal Crawford combining for 21 threes (out of 30 team total) that really pushed them to an unexpected victory. I mean, Sour Snails was ranked #2 in 3PT while EJC was just league average this season. Like we say, "That's why they play the game!"

So now we have NJ All-Stars versus Eron, Joven and Chandler for the championship. Short of a similar 3PT misfire, All-Stars will likely dominate in 3PT, while taking STL and probably REB. EJC has become an offensive juggernaut recently though, with the midseasons additions of Dirk Nowitzki and Jamal Crawford, and can match All-Stars in PTS. Lucas’ team will have a clear edge in TOs, while also possibly an edge in both percentage categories too. The hotly contested categories will then be BLK and PTS, where the two teams are very evenly matched. Also, it seems like both teams will have a full slate of games for their stars, although EJC is staring at minor injuries to Blake Griffin and Jamal Crawford, which will cause both to miss at least one game each. If there's a time for Carmelo to prove that he's better than LeBron, this is the week!


TOILET BOWL FINALS PREVIEW
#1 Chunky Monkeys (9-10) vs #1 Fat Jubas (9-10)
Well, well, this Toilet Bowl finals is really a victory lap for GM Evan and the entire Chunky Monkeys organization. They’ve secured the #1 and #2 overall picks next year, since they own Fat Jubas’ 2015 pick from the Chris Paul trade. So it looks like Evan’s most difficult decision will be figuring out which two super freshmen to lead his team into the next decade. Who’s jealous?

Fat Jubas swatted aside Fob Stars, who came out very flat after a great previous week. Jimmy’s team collapsed under pressure as they missed Isaiah Thomas all week. While Dion Waiters did his best to step in, Jubas had five games worth of Nicolas Batum, Chris Paul’s usual domination, and nice weeks by Jonas Valanciunas and Markieff Morris to shut the door on a potential upset.

On the other side of the bracket, Evan had to sweat out his victory as Inept Henchmen put up a vicious fight despite injuries to his big men, Dwight Howard and Andre Bogut. In turn, the week came down to an assists battle. (Technically, Henchmen were fighting for Funk Coalition’s selection, due to the Dwight exchange. A victory would have given Funk two of the top three overall picks next season.) Despite a Herculean assists effort by Jarrett Jack early Sunday -- to compensate for Tony Parker’s entire off week -- Monkeys took the win as his team spread the ball around more successfully. The unexpected savior for Evan turned out to be gunner Wesley Matthews, who dropped five dimes in his late Sunday game. Will Evan and Eric even play out the Toilet Bowl Finals? Or will they just kick back and watch Andrew Wiggins, Joel Embiid, Jabari Parker, and Dante Exum declare for the NBA draft?