Toilet Bowl 2014: Chamberlain Conference

Matchups:

• #1 Fat Jubas (9-10) vs #4 Jedi Knights (5-13)
• #2 Fob Stars (8-11) vs #3 LA Buffy (5-14)

#1 Fat Jubas (9-10)
Heading into the last week of the regular season, Eric worked desperately to get into the playoffs. Facing off against regular season wins leader Sour Snails was an uphill battle and despite a few last minute moves, Jubas fell just a bit short. They are out of the playoffs for the first time in their history, and ended the season with only two wins in their last seven games after scooting out to a 4-0 record to open the season. Now the question is: What are they playing for? Their 2014 RD1 is already in the hands of Chunky Monkeys so at this point they are playing for pride and no tangible reward. Will Eric do his best to improve his draft position, as he’s clearly one of the favorites to make the Toilet Bowl, or will he just stop caring and end his season?

This was only Jubas’ first losing season during the five year new cycle so it’s hard to call this year a disappointment, especially as GM Eric rebuilt his aging 2012 championship team on the fly. Their off-season included three trades in one day as they netted Chris Paul. Despite notching only 48 GP, Paul helped Fat Jubas rank first in AST and fourth in STL. Eric also moved up in the 2014 draft to snatch up David West in RD2, and West ended up being a steadying influence as he had the second most GP for Jubas. Eric also worked the wire constantly, and successes include getting Kendall Marshall and Markieff Morris during hot streaks. Of course, he also cut bait on Tyreke Evans (not to mention Marshall) before Evans started going buck crazy late in the year. I’m sure Jubas would love to have a high pick this year to add to a core of Paul, Gordon Hayward, and Nicolas Batum. Alas, they’ll have to add quality pieces another way.

MVP: Nicolas Batum. Led Jubas in GP and while some of his stats went down, he still put up a very well rounded line of 13.0 PTS, 7.2 REB, 5.1 AST, 1.7 3PT, 0.9 STL, 0.7 BLK, with fine percentages.
LVP: Jonas Valanciunas. A case could be made that CP3’s missed games caused Jubas’ to miss the playoffs but injuries can’t be helped. Valanciunas was supposed to help replace Marc Gasol in the middle but he ended up averaging a very pedestrian 10.4 PTS, 8.5 REB, and 0.9 BLK, albeit on 51.8 FG%.

#2 Fob Stars (8-11) 
Jimmy was a #1 seed for the Toilet Bowl last season but missed out on a top pick. Still, they emerged with Trey Burke at #8 overall, which turned out to be quite the value selection. With a draft that also yielded third rounder Isaiah Thomas and second rounder Marcin Gortat, Fob Stars rivaled Jedi Knights for best 2014 selections. Of course, none of that prevented them from another season in the doldrums. After limping out 0-5 to start the season, Fob got a three game winning streak going but was streaky the rest of the way. Still, that’s not horrible as they were just a few games out of playoff contention.

There’s actually some talent depth on the roster now, as GM Jimmy has slowly been picking up young guards -- remember when we semi-mocked Gerald Henderson as their sixth keeper. With the emergence of Thomas and the promise of Burke, Kemba Walker is an ideal third guard with 17.9 PTS, 5.7 AST, 1.2 STL, 1.4 3PT. Sure, his 40.5 FG% hurts but his other numbers are valuable. The big question is what to do with Dion Waiters, who clearly has talent but hasn’t reached any semblance of consistency or maturity. Joakim Noah was a revelation this season as he stayed healthy and has even emerged as a low end NBA MVP candidate. Noah is averaging 12.2 PTS, 11.3 REB, 1.5 BLK, 1.1 STL, and an incredible 4.9 AST. [Edit: And now Noah's gone for the Toilet Bowl run!] And let’s not sleep on Zach Randolph, who is aging but still tossing up 17.1 PTS and 10.3 REB nightly. Add up those two with Gortat’s 12.8 PTS, 9.2 RB, 1.5 BLK -- plus leading Fob Stars in GP -- and these three are a frontline that outshines most of the competition.

MVP: Joakim Noah and Isaiah Thomas for co-MVP as both were instrumental in giving this fan base some stability and hope for the future.
LVP: Dion Waiters with his erratic 14.5 PTS and 1.2 3PT on 42.6 FG%.

#3 LA Buffy (5-14)
This is just getting ridiculous. How many first to worst to first flip flops can one team achieve? Since our restart in 2010, Buffy has gone from worst to first, first to worst, and then back again in alternating seasons. Seriously, in 2010 they went 8-10 and were dead last in Transformers division. The next year they roared back to 13-6 and a division title. Then they yoyo-ed back to 5-7 before making the Finals in 2013 on the heels of another 13-6 campaign. Now they are back at the bottom of Transformers. What is going on! Is this the final death blow for Buffy, as they have lost their last seven games and their roster is maybe, just maybe, finally aging out of contention.

Of their top six GP players, only Tristan Thompson is on the right side of thirty years old -- he’s twenty two and averaged 12.1 PTS, 9.5 REB. Joe Johnson, Tim Duncan, Carlos Boozer, and Jameer Nelson are all long in the tooth veterans. Chris Bosh is turning thirty this month too. Heck, Raymond Felton and Vince Carter suited up for over 50+ combined games for this team. When does Roger hit the reset button? More intriguingly, is there a chance Gerald Green becomes a keeper?! He’s averaging 22.7 PTS, 4.9 REB, 1.1 STL, and an eye popping 3.2 3PT in the last month. He’s gotta have more of a future than Joe Slow right? Buffy desperately needs an injection of young talent and this is the draft year to make that happen. We’re hoping the old guys can drag a nice high pick out of the muck this year as we’d like to see Buffy continue their worst to first ascents year after year.

MVP: The indomitable Tim Duncan. Even with only 29.6 minutes a game, Duncan averaged 15.3 PTS, 10.0 REB, 1.9 BLK, and improved his FT% to 72.9%. He’s never going to stop throwing up numbers is he?
LVP: Nobody really, it seemed like everyone played to par. The team is simply aging in slow motion. Maybe Jeremy Lin was a minor disappointment as he moved down to 12.3 PTS, 4.1 AST, and 0.9 STL. But really, no LVP, aside from Father Time.

#4 Jedi Knights (5-14)
It’s hard to say if Jedi had the greatest season ever or if they are rightfully headed to another Toilet Bowl. Despite not making a single pickup all year, despite not having made a single roster move since late November, despite playing most weeks at a severe GP disadvantage, Lum’s team still managed to have its most regular season wins ever. Sure, Jedi had a 1-6 stretch mid-season, and they’ll finish the 2014 campaign with five straight losses, but this will still be their most successful year ever.

I mean, DeAndre Jordan finally learned how to rebound and had a career year. Thaddeus Young also had a career year with 17.6 PTS, 5.1 REB, 2.2 STL, and 1.0 3PT. Chandler Parsons, another career year. Michael Carter-Williams, likely Rookie of the Year. See all the good stuff that happened here? Heck, David Lee returned from injury to get his customary 18.5 PTS and 9.6 REB. Plus, Lum had likely the best 2014 draft with MCW, Jimmy Butler, and the surprising success of RD3 selection DeMarre Carroll. Of course, Butler and Carroll have only played a total of twelve (!) games for Jedi Knights, as it’s questionable if Lum has looked at his team since late last year. I mean, P.J. Tucker and O.J. Mayo playing for a combined 99 games so far? C’mon! While Jedi have never had much success in the Toilet Bowl, they could maybe unseat a demotivated and slumping Fat Jubas with just with a few tweaks. Will it happen? We’ll find out when the lineups are submitted. For now, marvel at the team that achieved with no management on duty!

MVP: DeAndre Jordan led this team in GP and averaged 10.2 PTS, 14.0 REB, and 2.4 BLK. Plus he shot 66.3 FG%, leading the NBA in that category -- excluding players who scored less than double digit points.
LVP: Coach/GM/absentee owner Lum for leaving his boys without a leader.