Heroes and Zeros

I know it’s early but we’ve already got a few frontrunners and a few teams who have stumbled out of the gate. Fat Jubas and Spade, the past two champions, are both sitting pretty at 3-0 while Jedi Knights, Fob Stars, and So Buckets have yet to pick up a win. Let’s take a look.

Fat Jubas (3-0)
Coming off of a huge trade for Chris Paul, it must comfort Eric to know that his team hasn’t had any trouble continuing their winning ways. They haven’t really faced a challenge yet so far this season and the trio of CP3, Gordon Hayward, and Nicolas Batum have been adding contributions across the board. Gordon, especially, is in the midst of a breakout season with 19.3 PTS, 5.9 REB, 4.5 AST, 1.5 3PT and 1.3 STL. While this team isn’t strong on scoring, they are first in FT% and AST, plus strong in REB and BLK. The front line of Jonas Valanciunas, David West, and Brandon Bass aren’t flashy but they’ve been obviously effective. If would be nice if swingman Tyreke Evans could find his game, but so far he’s been slow to integrate himself in New Orleans. Also: Steve Blake is averaging 7.3 AST to Steve Nash’s 4.8. Ouch. We’re pretty sure Fat Jubas will be one of the season long contenders, and with Paul vying for a MVP award, it’ll be hard for anyone to take down this team.
Weakness: Pushing the pace on this disciplined team is the way to go, as a sharpshooting team can outscore them in bunches, capitalize on this team's lack of 3PT, and maybe take them out in STL.

Spade (3-0)
We warned you before the season didn’t we? Spade is here to play and now that we’ve got a few weeks of stats to look into, they are proving to be just as awesome as feared. This team is top five in seven categories, with a top three ranking in PTS, FG%, 3PT, and REB. Their only weakness is a below average ranking in BLK, and the nastiest thing is that all this production isn’t coming at the expense of TOs, as they are ranked middle of the pack there. Aside from the strong keeper core, GM Randall also unearthed Kevin Martin, Arron Afflalo, and Kyle Korver in the draft. Those three combine for 59.3 PTS and 9.0 3PT per outing. It’s hard to pick who is having the better start of the season, Martin with 24.4 PTS or Afflalo with 21.7 PTS and almost five REB/AST per game. Also lurking is the soon to return Kobe Bryant. Plus, whoever thought Eric Bledsoe might flop with more minutes is way wrong. Bledsoe is killing it!
Weakness: We’re not sure, but Chunky Monkeys almost took them down this past week by out AST/STL/PTS and tying them for BLK. Then again, “almost” meant a 5-3-1 win anyway.

Fob Stars (0-3)
Jimmy’s team was 0.500 last year but they’ve sunk down to the bottom again, even after a good draft. What gives? Marcin Gortat has been good with 12.7 PTS, 9.9 REB, 1.8 BLK in his new Wizardy home, and Shawn Marion is quietly having a throwback season with 8.1 REB, 1.4 STL, 1.1 BLK. Heck, even Isaiah Thomas is contributing with 17.8 PTS, 4.9 AST, and 1.7 3PT. The problem seems to be a lack of identity on this team, and no star power. Gortat, Zach Randolph, and Joakim Noah sound like an imposing frontline but Fob Stars is nowhere near the league leaders in any big men stats. In fact, they are absolutely last in FG%. That is mostly attributed to Kemba Walker and Gerald Henderson’s combined 29.0 shots per game on about 35.0 FG%. This team can’t shoot at all. And it’s not like they are getting production for all those shots either, as they are second in last for 3PT, sixth in TO, and fifth in STL. Fob Stars will get Louis Williams — and eventually Trey Burke — back, but those two would seem to exarcebate the problem. And let’s not talk about Dion Waiters, who has been good, but his minutes could be slashed after an immature outburst. Maybe this team needs to have a players only meeting?
Solution: Keep plugging away and try to get a superstar via the Toilet Bowl. Or blow it all up and move the bigs and try to play small ball with a roster that deathly in need of some type of vision.

Jedi Knights (0-3)
It’s a dark time for the Republic. Lum’s team is firmly mired in Empire Strikes Back, mid-movie, when everything is going wrong. These Knights have problems scoring, shooting free throws, and um, just about everything else. The only category the Knights are above average in is TO, which makes sense since there’s a lot of nothing going on here. (Their next best category is STL, in which they are ranked #8 in the league. That is not good.) What’s stranger is that there are a lot of nice pieces on this team. For one, rookie Michael Carter-Williams has busted out of the gates to the tune of 17.4 PTS, 7.6 AST, 5.4 REB, 2.6 STL, 1.9 3PT. That’s star material, even on 38.9 FG%. OJ Mayo, David Lee, Thaddeus Young, Chandler Parsons, and DeAndre Jordan with his 13.2 REB and 2.2 BLK are all doing good things. Sure, Greivis Vasquez could step it up but he’ll get better. In short, we don’t know why the Knights are so bad, but something needs to be revamped. This team is just calling for a Dr. Jack makeover. Fob and Jedi face off in WK5, so one of them will get off the winless column by then. Unless they tie...
Solution: The Jedi need to find a Yoda to come in and mold all these pieces into a winner.

So Buckets (0-3)
It’s not good when your team loses 0-9-0, like So Buckets did to Spade in WK2. Did we mention that Josh is the one who invited Randall into SlamNation? Nice way to pay him back Randall! So far So Buckets haven’t even accrued enough category wins to win one week, much less get an actual win — 1-7-1, 0-9-0, 3-6-0 weekly scores. After a stellar division winning year last season, why have the wheels fallen off so early? Well, for one LARRY SANDERS has transformed into “larry sanders” and was averaging 3.7 REB and 2.0 BLK before getting injured from a nightclub excursion. Pau Gasol and Nikola Pekovic are strong frontcourt presences but Gasol’s days as a 20 ppg scorer look to be done. Heck, he’s at 13.0 this year, less than Pekovic’s 13.7 ppg. The backcourt trio of Kyrie Irving, Evan Turner, and DeMar DeRozan are all big scorers but they haven’t been able to give this enough oomph to push up their small men categories, even with multi-category Andre Iguodala on the wings. So Buckets can score, as evidenced by their #4 ranking in PTS, but they are middle of the pack everywhere else, and very weak in STL and BLK. Also, Maurice Harkless and his 9.6 PTS, 4.5 REB, 1.2 STL could make a case for the most underperforming keeper now that Markieff Morris and Gerald Henderson have proven capable of having some moments.
Solution: Patience, as the team seems to have enough pieces to pull itself out of an early season hole. Well, once Larry Sanders shows up.