Russell Conference: Voltron Division

#1: Inept Henchmen (1-17-1, 5-7)
Exit Human Amoebas, enter the Henchmen. A team that was literally littered with talent was deconstructed a bit as the dispersal draft cost the former Amoebas some big pieces. Still, Derrick Rose and Dirk Nowitzski are on hand and both are looking for huge rebound years. The fan base here is clamoring for a winner and new owner Trevor is aiming to bring a winning culture to a franchise that won a title just three seasons ago but have sunk to just one win last season. With that in mind, he drafted veteran stalwarts like Kevin Garnett, Jamal Crawford, Mo Williams, and Thabo Sefolosha to blend into his team. We know exactly what we’re getting from those four. All are arguably past their primes but could be overlooked value contributors. Heck, we’ve even started to believe in keeper Gerald Wallace, whom we previously expressed some doubt about. After he ripped into his new Celtics teammates after a pre-season game, we think he’s got the fire to return to glory. Fifth round pick Alex Len now looks like a steal post-Gortat trade, and third rounder Harrison Barnes has a bright future and he’ll get heavy minutes on a top heavy Golden State team. We’re not sure what this team will exactly play like, but it’s safe to say that if Rose, Dirk, and Eric Gordon can stay healthy, this team won’t stay inept for much longer. Also, huge points for the best logo in the league!
Status: Halfway between rebuilding and pushing for relevance. A veteran heavy team is looking to win now.

#5: MoRRie’s Pogiboys (8-10-1, 8-4)
If Pogiboys hits the Toilet Bowl again, we’ll know Alvin is just trying to win the best rookies year after year instead of gunning for a SlamNation title. Actually, a case could be made that going back into the Toilet Bowl is exactly what Pogiboys is planning to do. Their draft was so aggressive on youth and upside that we think they’re trying to replicate the 2009 Human Amoebas model of drafting. What can you say about a draft that consisted of Victor Oladipo at #2 overall, Otto Porter Jr. in RD2, followed by John Henson, Dennis Schroeder, Luigi Daatome, and Miles Plumlee? We count five rookies and and one second year player who played thirteen minutes a game last year. This is a super youth movement! Free agent pickup Chauncey Billups was snapped up to provide leadership and to buy drinks for all these underaged guys. There’s a balanced keeper core of Brandon Jennings, Mike Conley, J.R. Smith in the backcourt and Anthony David, Roy Hibbert, and new trade acquisition Brook Lopez in the front court, but we’re not sure where Alvin will find two other players to fill out the starting lineup.
Status: Transitioning with an eye toward next year, again. If even two of the young’uns pan out, this team will be explosive soon.

#7: Super Ninja (9-9-1, 8-4)
Thien’s team started off 4-9-1 last season before ripping off five straight wins. Still, they ended up in the Toilet Bowl and then got bounced by Pogiboys, leaving them to draft seventh overall. They used that pick on Brandon Knight, who could have sneaky value as a third guard behind John Wall and Dwyane Wade. Mario Chalmers and Darren Collison will also contend for some backcourt duties. Ravaged by injuries to Tyson Chandler and Andrew Bynum last year, Super Ninja still proved that they are the steadiest team in Voltron division by eeking out a 0.500 record. As covered in the franchise players article, they’ve also shown rare stability by having four of their original players dating back to the 2010 season. Also, in an amazing stat, Thien has never suffered a losing season in four years! Each year he changes his team name, more than once sometimes, and that seems to be the path to success. Look below:

• 2010: Hot Gems (9-9)
• 2011: Slam’N Dragon (11-8)*
• 2012: The Horizon (8-4)*
• 2013: Super Ninja (9-9-1)

That’s two division titles denoted by the asteriks and also a Toilet Bowl win in 2010 that netted them John Wall. That’s a hefty record of success — and lots of fresh jersey sales each year — but with a core that is aging a bit (ie. Paul Pierce and maybe Wade), it’s time to make a push for true contender status. Toward that end, Thien decided to throw his lot in with Andrea Bargnani in RD2, and also brought in Robin Lopez, Corey Brewer, and free agent pickup Marco Belinelli. This is clearly a team looking to win a ring now, damn the torpedos!
Status: Consistent winners but treading water without playoff success.

#10: So Buckets (10-9, 3-9)
In year two of his reign, Josh took his 3-9 team and piloted it to a winning record, a division title, and a playoff run that was only derailed by injuries to Kyrie Irving and Pau Gasol. Not bad for a sophomore campaign. This year So Buckets is gearing up for another division battle and looking for sustained success. Nikola Pekovic and DeMar DeRozan bring exactly what this team needs at C and SG, and there’s hope that Michael Kidd-Gilchrist can grow into a viable forward. Another point guard is sorely needed to keep up with Irving, but last round pick Ramon Sessions is probably not the answer. Then again, this team features two swingmen who average about five assists per game (Evan Turner and Andre Iguodala) and a sweet passing big man in Gasol, all of which helped So Buckets to a top AST ranking last season. If new keeper Moe Harkless can sustain his versatile late season stat line, that will make him a nice complement to a team that has lots of odd pieces but mesh nicely together. Adding Pekovic, DeRozan, Kidd-Gilchrist, Derrick Williams, and Kris Humphries represent a nice haul for a team looking to fill in the pieces. A team that’s stronger on the court than on paper, So Buckets have Irving and Larry Sanders to build around, and they are in an interesting space where they are growing yet already winning. Here’s to more of both!
Status: Division title favorite and trending upward. True contention is still around the corner?