2011 Championship: Bed of Roses

The biggest upset of the century has occurred! A wild card team has toppled the mighty Sour Snails, and mostly in uncontested fashion. The Amoebas handily took PTS, REB, STL, and FG%, and secured 3PT and BLK by enough to insure a victory by mid day Sunday. The parade route was already getting lined up and all of Michigan was gearing up for a celebration. Rumors had it that Owner/GM/Coach Eric-A fainted for a few moments as he realized that the victory was imminent. And it's been revealed by sources close to Eric that he's never won a fantasy championship in thirteen years of play, since 1998, so this is even more special of an accomplishment!

As for the dethroned defending champs, the Sour Snails were fighting injuries all post-season and their wagon fell entirely apart by the end. With basically all of their top guys injured or straight out missing games -- Kevin Love, Stephen Jackson, Danilo Gallinari, Stephen Curry, and eventually Josh Smith -- Trieu put up a valiant fight but really didn't have the horses for this matchup. This was like Lakers - Pistons in the 1980's when a few key injuries determined the winner. Although maybe a full roster wouldn't have helped the Snails against the power of an one celled organism.

Looking a little closer at the performance, we have to give the MVP to point guard Derrick Rose, who was simply outstanding all season long, and especially these last few weeks. He put up 25.0 PTS, 5.0 AST, 1.5 3PT, and stellar percentages for championship week. His young backcourt mate, Eric Gordon, chipped in ten steals even as his shooting was a bit off. The other key to winning the crucial steals battle was big men Andray Blatche and Paul Millsap combining for fourteen steals this week. Fourteen! Looking over the stat sheet, this was a huge team effort as everyone player contributed a steal, seven recorded at least a block, and four players were in double digit assists.

The Amoebas were 3-15 in 2010 and were being compared to door mats coming into the season. There was room for lots of growth but nobody expected the season they eventually had. After stumbling out of the gate with three straight losses, Eric-A's team managed a five game winning streak mid-season to show signs of righting the ship. However, another three game losing streak had them mainly treading water and they slipped into the playoffs with only nine wins (against ten losses). The Amoebas were first or close to first in PTS, 3PT, and STL, but were below average in most of the other areas. They were also dead last in TO for the season. Proving that activity isn't always the key to success, GM Eric-A used only six roster moves all season long.

However, they had a solid eight man rotation all season long, with Rose, Ellis, Millsap, Cousins, Gordon, Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, and Channing Frye doing most of the in-season damage. Ty Lawson and George Hill came in off the bench for a key games (as did Ersan Ilyasova and Anthony Morrow) and made the most of their minutes. Rose averaged 25.1 PTS, 7.8 AST, 4.1 REB, 1.6 3PT, and 1.1 STL for the season. Monta Ellis played one more game than Rose and averaged 24.1 PTS, 5.6 AST, 1.7 3PT, and 2.1 STL. Shooting guard Eric Gordon only played in a little more than half the games but he added additional scoring and outside shooting.

The real post-season star was Andray Blatche, who notched 23.9 PTS, 11.6 REB, 2.4 STL and almost a block per game over his last month of games. Add in similar numbers by Millsap and rookie DeMarcus Cousins (around 15 PTS, 8 REB, 2.5 AST, 1 STL/BLK for both) and this quickly became the team to beat. Their post-season run included victories over an eleven win team, a fifteen win team, and finally a fourteen win team.

Going forward, we have to say that the Amoebas are set up for a fierce title defense. As the youngest team in the league, they have definitely won a championship ahead of schedule and have a beautiful core to continue their winning ways. Congrats to Eric-A and the Amoebas for a fantastic finish to an exciting season!

2011 Toilet Bowl: Bombs Away

We can't quite figure out how Pierre does it, but despite making no moves all season, probably never really looking at his team, and playing five games less than his opponent during the final week, his Bayside Bombardiers are the Toilet Bowl winers! Sweeping through the Toilet Bowl while barely breaking a sweat, Pierre's team was led by Pau Gasol, who had four games of 17.8 PTS, 7.3 REB, and not much else. Luis Scola and Samuel Dalembert both averaged double doubles during Toilet Bowl week, and Jameer Nelson and Jamal Crawford helped manage the attack with their outside shooting and passing. The real key to victory may have been little Kyle Lowry, who averaged 11.5 PTS, 7.5 AST, and 2.0 3PT over his final few games to key the Toilet Bowl win.

Oh I guess Pierre did make a few adjustments as David West was taken out of the lineup. Still, Pierre played only seven guys for the week, as Leandro Barbosa missed all his games (while a healthy Mo Williams sat on the bench), and Luis Scola and Kyle Lowry were both banged up too. Maybe Luol Deng in for Charlie Villanueva would have been the right move but we can't question Coach Pierre as he has piloted his team to victory. Missing the post-season by just one win this year, Bayside should return to their winning ways with a top pick to being the next season. In 2010 they were the Voltron division winners and could easily compete for that title again in 2012.

The Fob Stars did secure a second overall pick but you'd think his team filled with luminaries such as Chris Bosh, Zach Randolph, and DJ Augustin could have beat out Bayside. Heck Shawn Marion averaged 17.3 PTS and 10.3 REB the whole week! Instead Jimmy will have to settle for being a runner up this year and get his scouting department on the job. Coming off a 4-13-1 season in 2010, this year's success ain't too bad but it sure would have been nice to secure a very winneable first selection. Actually they could have lost by a lot more too, as they barely won 3PT and PTS as it was, despite playing almost 25% more games than Pierre's team. I guess Bayside was just destined to win the Toilet Bowl this year!

Championship Preview: The Wizarding Hour

#3 Human Amoebas (9-10) vs #3 Sour Snails (14-5)
Led by Derrick Rose, the Human Amoebas are streaking toward history. Already taking down two top seeds on the way to this championship round, Eric-A's young team may be a winner one year ahead of schedule. The fans in Amoeba-ville are swooning with pride and dizzy with the sudden heights they've attained. Although they are facing off against the defending champs, the argument could be made that this underdog is the favorite for the upcoming week.

Rose, Monta Ellis, and Eric Gordon anchor a superb backcourt that provides PTS, AST, 3PT, and STL in bunches. They'll need all three to be in top form in order to topple the small ball oriented Sour Snails. Given the apparent lack of size on the Snails' roster, you'd think they'd get wiped out on the boards but they are actually very competitive there with Josh Smith, Kevin Love, and secret weapon Chuck Hayes (who's been averaging double digit rebounds over the past two weeks). To counter that, Eric-A will have Paul Millsap, DeMarcus Cousins, and the astonishing Andray Blatche, who has been simply oustanding since returning from injury last Friday. In three games, Blatche is averaging 25.0 PTS, 14.7 REB, and 2.3 STL. What is going on in Washington these days?

I mean, on the Snails side of things, Wizards' rookie guard Jordan Crawford is throwing up triple doubles and coming off a huge week of 27.0 PTS, 5.8 REB, 5.0 AST, 2.3 3PT, and 1.5 STL. Trieu had better hope that the other Wizards rookie guard, the one named Wall, sits on the pine for a little while longer so Crawford gets his minutes. The Snails desperately need him to get play because this young man has been the sole Snail to average over 20+ PPG recently and the Sour ones need some serious firepower to compete against the Amoebas. Crawford's backcourt mates, Stephen Curry and Stephen Jackson both need to have huge weeks. Jackson is nursing an injury -- as is Kevin Love -- but he'll hopefully return to make this Finals matchup a battle that's decided on the court and not on the basis of who's hurt.

Other player matchups include Ty Lawson and George Hill running guard duty for Eric-A's team, while Channing Frye bombs from outside the arc. Neither of these teams have much at the small forward positon, as it's Anthony Morrow for the Amoebas and Paul George for the Snails. Trieu will also be trotting out Darren Collison, Tracy McGrady, Rip Hamilton, and Danilo Gallinari.

Last year's Finals had a similar story: two mainly small ball teams facing off against each other. Exactly twelve months ago, Evan's Chunky Monkeys clawed their way past top seeds and into the last round, despite a middling regular season record. The difference though was that they were mostly out of gas by the end of the playoffs. The 2011 Human Amoebas look like they could go another few rounds on Rose power alone. Of course, it's hard not to look at these matchups and wonder about the impact Lebron James might have made on the festivities. If the Snails lose, will LBJ have been the difference? Or will they repeat even after dealing the number overall pick? This is a matchup for the ages with intrigue and plot points galore, it's more than worthy of our second Slam Nation Finals!

Everyone set your DVRs for the Wizards games!

And in the Toilet Bowl, it's Fob Stars (6-13) versus Bayside Bombardiers (8-11). Both owners were on vacation last weekend and yet somehow still managed to win. I hate fantasy.