(Russell Conference) Voltron

Super Horizon (8-4)
Thien's team loves to change its name so this year they went from simply "The Horizon" to "Super Horizon." Very gosu! With the exact same keepers from a year ago, Thien's team is a model of stability. Heading into 2013, Dwayne Wade is fully healthy, which is a nice change. The problem is, John Wall is out for two months. Paul Pierce and Rudy Gay are a devastating combo of swingmen but Tyson Chandler and Andrew Bynum start off the season dinged up so The Horizon are quite undermanned at the moment. After two straight division championships, can they three-peat? First round pick Nikola Pekovic will have to step up, along with late rounder Jason Thompson to fill the Bynum/Chandler void. After narrowly missing a SlamNation Finals appearance last season, Thien is hungry for the season to start, even if his team will have an uphill battle staying healthy. Ben Gordon will find all the shots he can handle in Charlotte and maybe DeMar DeRozan will fulfill his potential. Both will add plenty of PTS though, and be mentored by Jason Richardson, who probably won't find enough time in Philly to be a starter. Same with Aaron Brooks in Sacramento. The Horizon are traditionally the leaders of the Voltron division but they have some competition nipping at their heels.
Biggest Roadblock: Finding a team doctor who can keep his players in one piece

MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4)
The most excited owner heading into this season? Alvin! After winning the Toilet Bowl and snagging the top two 2012 NBA Draft picks in Anthony Davis and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, the Pogiboys are reloaded and ready for a bright future. Mike Conley, Brandon Jennings, and Brandon Knight are a nice young guard trio, and Marcus Thornton will continue his 3PT and STL barrage. MKG will start at small forward immediately and Anthony Davis will team up with Roy Hibbert to clean glass and destroy shots. Young Tristan Thompson was a keeper -- while Amare Stoudemire was traded -- and if he emerges too, this team could officially be the team on the verge. The 2013 draft also brought in J.R. Smith, Brandon Bass, Tobias Harris, Kevin Seraphin, and Jerryd Bayless but we don't even envision anyone aside from maybe Smith and Bass getting much playing time if the Pogiboys stay healthy. What we do envision is their first playoff appearance soon -- possibly this year -- and championship contention around the corner if Davis is all he's cracked up to be. Like we said, Alvin's excited!
Biggest Roadblock: Forgoing Movember to grow a unibrow all year long

Human Amoebas (5-7)
After winning a stunning 2011 championship with one of the youngest SlamNation teams, we thought we'd have to fend off Eric-A's team for the next decade. Instead, Derrick Rose and Eric Gordon were mostly injured last season and Human Amoebas slumped to a losing record.  Here's the thing: once Rose returns, they're going to contend again. Gordon and Monta Ellis are still a great scoring backcourt, DeMarcus Cousins is a top center, Paul Millsap is a solid power forward, and the late season theft of Dirk Nowitzski gives this team another franchise player. Seriously, who's top six matches up on paper? Eric-A is all about youth and potential and similar to first draft in 2010, they went super upside in 2013. Rookies Harrison Barnes, Andre Drummond, and Austin Rivers were scooped up, along with sophomores Daniel Green and Alonzo Gee. J.J. Barea is going to get some minutes until Ricky Rubio returns. We're not sure who's going to start out of top six group but we're not doubting Eric-A anymore. He went from last-to-first once before and he could do it again soon. Who's scared?
Biggest Roadblock: Waiting for Rose's triumphant return

So Buckets (3-9)
Josh had a choice last season: Lebron or no Lebron. He went with the non-LBJ side and picked up Pau Gasol, Andre Iguodala, and Gerald Wallace instead of James in last year's new owner dispersal draft. David West never panned out, Darren Collison wasn't as good as Kyle Lowry (who was passed up in the dispersal draft), and So Buckets emerged from their first season with a losing record. With some experience under his belt, Josh is ready to turn this ship around. We think Gasol, Iggy, Crash, and Collison are all going to have better years than last season. Kyrie Irving is gonna straight blow up this season and Evan Turner will have every opportunity to take over for Igoudala in Philadelphia. Nene and Brandon Roy will team up with those six to start, giving So Buckets a solid foundation. Jarrett Jack will fill in as third guard if Roy stumbles, while young forwards Derrick Williams, Enes Kantor, and rookie Royce White will be stashed on the bench. We think So Buckets has a puncher's chance of hitting the post-season but this could be a tough division to emerge. Still, this team looks like it'll be good in all the big man categories, while lacking only in 3PT and maybe AST. With Irving to build around, So Buckets have nowhere to go but up!
Biggest Roadblock: Watching the Kyrie Irving as old man video over and over

(Chamberlain Conference) Transformers

Squirtle Squad (10-2)
One year after missing the playoffs with a winning record, Brian's team came back strong and looked poised to win a championship as they were the only double digit win team during a lockout shortened season. Instead, the Squirtles were unceremoniously upset by eventual champion Fat Jubas. That loss was mostly due to poor free throw shooting so during the off-season, FT% black hole Blake Griffin (along with Jeremy Lin) was traded for Al Jefferson, a smooth shooting big man from the charity stripe. Jefferson will also secure BLK alongside Serge Ibaka and Greg Monroe. With real life teammates Deron Williams and Joe Johnson, along with fantasy sensation Ty Lawson manning the backcourt, the top six is looking championship ready indeed. The starting small forward will likely be Steve Novak or Carlos Delfino, who will provide great floor spacing with their shooting. Chauncey Billups could bring more 3PT if needed but mostly he's around to cheer from the Squirtles' bench. Spencer Hawes should be the first big man sub and behind him, Markieff Morris will wait to earn some minutes. If rookie Bradley Beal is really the next Ray Allen, Brian's team would be more than stacked. Last round pick Mirza Teletovic is a big swing forward from Bosnia, and is a Brooklyn Net. Just in case you didn't know.
Biggest Roadblock: Nothing, this team is primed for a SlamNation Finals showing

Half Man Half ImAsian (8-4)
Oliver's squad lost in the first round of the playoffs last year and they are hungry for post-season success. They are returning with five of their keepers from 2012 -- Andrew Bogut is out and Ersan Ilyasova is in. Led by Kevin Durant and LaMarcus Aldridge, Oliver's team is always a contender. JaVale McGee is going to have a make or break season as the center spot is all his in Denver. It's clear that Detroit's Rodney Stuckey is not a point guard but he's still a useful piece. Ilysova is an incredible fantasy player and Anderson Varejao provides nightly double doubles with a STL/BLK a game. Half Man Half ImAsian's draft was dedicated to defense as Tony Allen, Mario Chalmers, Courtney Lee are all STL guys. Chalmers and Lee will drop in 3PT alongside Durant, giving this team everything except AST. Recently traded Jeremy Lamb is probably too raw to help now, and project rookie Andrew Nicholson is 7'4". That's all I know. Another thing I know: Oliver's team will compete for a championship, as usual.
Biggest Roadblock: Is JaVale ready or will insanity hold him back?

Eron, Joven and Chandler (6-6)
For a fuller look at our newest owner, feel free to look at their individual article. After moving Dwight Howard, the focus of this team has changed quite a bit. The old team was clearly on the verge of hitting rock bottom but new owner Chris did a complete rebuild. Carmelo Anthony and Blake Griffin will provide PTS, REB, and FG%, but Griffin will likely cause this team's FT% to tumble. Ricky Rubio, Jeff Teague, and Manu Ginobili are an underrated backcourt, but they have to stay healthy. What this team won't have is BLK, as a plethora of power forwards -- Glen Davis, Antawn Jamison, rookie Thomas Robinson -- provide scoring but not much rim protection. Swing forward Gerald Henderson will sit the bench. It's hard to gauge how this team will shape up with so many new pieces but we think it'll be strong in PTS, REB, STL, while lacking big time in BLK and TO. We're excited to see what Run EJC has in store for their first season.
Biggest Roadblock: Learning how to use ESPN to max out the games

LA Buffy (5-7)
Speaking of old teams, Buffy is on its last legs. After going 13-6 in 2011, Roger's team fell to 5-7 last year. They had a top seed in the Toilet Bowl but got upended by Sour Snails. Power forwards Tim Duncan, Carlos Boozer, and Elton Brand have all seen better days -- not to mention Danny Granger, who is no longer a top fantasy talent. With that in mind, Buffy has imported Linsanity to electrify the fan base! Moving Marc Gasol for Jeremy Lin and Chris Bosh, Roger finally got a guard to take over the reins from Baron Davis (mirroring Lin's real life NBA ascent) and then he moved fast during the draft on Jameer Nelson, who could have a resurgent season. Buffy loves his big men though, so Andrew Bogut is on board, and if he's healthy he'll help make this team competitive again. Old fave Wilson Chandler will swing to wherever Granger isn't while Kirk Hinrich and Tiago Splitter will hang out on the bench. Also, Swaggy P in the house! Buffy will dominate the big men categories but we're not sure if Lin and Nick Young are enough to get some guard balance. Can this team dig up one more winning season before the front line collapses?
Biggest Roadblock: Age, age, age

(Russell Conference) Thundercats

NJ All-Stars (8-4)
Whew, what a first season in SlamNation for Eddie! After fighting hard all season, they nudged into the playoffs and then proceeded to upset their way to the Finals -- including beating his cousin on the way there. All this after inheriting a team that went just 5-14 the year before. What will NJ All-Stars do for an encore? Who will hold it down for the Garden State with the Nets gone? Well, owning Lebron James probably will heal that gaping wound a little bit. Surrounding King James are two well balanced point guards in Kyle Lowry and Isaiah Thomas, efficiency swingmen Paul George and Luol Deng, plus smooth shooting Ryan Anderson. Taking a page from the real Miami Heat, the NJ All-Stars are probably strongest playing small ball. Their draft brought Jared Dudley and Jose Calderon on-board, along with the rejuvenated Andrei Kirilenko, who could add enough STL/BLK to help out quite a bit. James Johnson is an intriguing mini-AK47 if he can get the minutes. JJ Hickson or Gustavo Ayon could be this team's bigs but we think Eddie would be best served running and gunning with Lebron and his mighty mites.
Biggest Roadblock: Proving last year wasn't a fluke

Chunky Monkeys (8-4)
Relegated to famiy black sheep status, Evan must be fuming inside at having his little cousin upsurp his surprise Finals run from a few years ago. With Chris Paul back on the court, the Monkeys are moving off small ball with this year's draft. Well, maybe. We don't know what drafting Byron Mullens, David West, and Taj Gibson mean. Small forward Al-Farouq Aminu could bring some STL and Chase Budinger will shoot 3PT but those other three seem miscast. The good news is that James Harden will now become a franchise caliber player in Houston, while Goran Dragic also gets his own team to run in Phoenix. Actually, Jrue Holiday and Arron Afflalo will also see a lot more playing time, and that means the Monkeys are probably going to keep winning. With Andrea Bargnani in the middle, this team can only small ball. That being the case, most teams will have a hard time matching up with so many shooter and guards. If CP3 stays healthy, another playoff trip could be in order for the Monkeys.
Biggest Roadblock: Family holiday gatherings with Eddie

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (8-4)
Last year, Jose didn't draft his last three rounds. This year he gathered so many extra picks he essentially won't draft his last three either. This must be the secret to continued success because the Heffalumps are consistently one of the best teams in the league. They were done filling out their starting lineup by the top of round two and grabbed Omer Asik, Kenneth Faried, and Jason Terry to go along with his six keepers. After trading Rajon Rondo for picks, Kobe Bryant is the sole superstar on board. J's team is constructed with lots of shooting guards in mind -- Bryant, Terry, Kevin Martin, -- and will be strong on the front lines with Al Horford, Kris Humphries, Asik, Faried, and Bismack Biyombo. Kawhi Leonard has three position eligibility and will be the Swiss knife on this team, with Shawn Marion or Al Harrington ready to spell him if necessary. George Hill and Jamal Crawford can also come off the bench to add additional shooting. Losing Rondo will hurt on the AST/STL standpoint but losing his high TO and low FT% will be a boon for this well constructed and deep team.
Biggest Roadblock: Having too many players, and getting them ready for a deep post-season run

Funk Coalition (3-9)
After a very busy off-season, the Funk is back, but looking entirely different. We've already chronicled how Dwight Howard, Rajon Rondo, and Marc Gasol have come on-board. With Russell Westbrook, Rondo, and Tony Parker, there's nary a 3PT to be found so this team will be an unconventional guard heavy team. Howard and Gasol should give this team some defensive oomph and control the boards while question mark Tyreke Evans will either be the glue that holds it all together or a piece waiting to be dumped. Having mortgaged most of his 2013 draft, Jon grabbed Nikola Vucevic, Samuel Dalembert, and Ed Davis to be complementary big men off the bench, and will be scrounging off the free agent scrap heap for a swingman. In a tough division where all three of the other teams made the post-season, Funk Coalition needed a major shake up and they got it. Now to see if that will result in more wins.
Biggest Roadblock: Bad karma from having a Laker on the team

(Chamberlain Conference) Silverhawks

Fat Jubas (9-3)
"Hail to the champions, hail to the champions, hail hail hail!" Oh wait, wrong song. What is the Stanford fight song? Has anyone ever heard it? Whatever it is, Eric-L should hear it whenever he steps onto the SlamNation court because after a few disappointing years, they had a dream season in 2012. With a team aging by the millisecond, Eric-L won the Silverhawks division for a third time, tore their way to the Finals, and mostly waltzed their way to a championship. Can Steve Nash, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen (not a keeper but re-drafted) do it again? Keep in mind that original second round pick Brook Lopez didn't even play most of last season. The Jubas are going to get a chance to repeat because they just know how to play the game. Nicolas Batum and Gordon Hayward are quiet but efficient swingmen, Marcin Gortat is a defensive anchor alongside Garnett, and rookie Jonas Valanciunas could be quite a find. The bench will consist of Luke Ridnour, Brandon Rush, Landry Fields, and Carl Landry, typical efficient Eric-L selections. The only thing that might bring this team down is the sickening real life NBA trade of Steve Nash to the Lakers. Rumors are that Eric-L can't stomach this betrayal and will be looking to offload Nash, even at the expense of the Fat Jubas' championship defense.
Biggest Roadblock: Seeing Nash in purple and gold..

Sour Snails (4-8)
The Snails made the Finals two straight times, winning once, before imploding last year. They lost more games in 2012 (8) than in 2010-11 combined (7). What's next? We hate to tell you this, but that losing season is probably a blip on the radar. Trieu can't help not being in the finals of something and he made it to the Toilet Bowl finals last season, emerging with rookie point guard Damian Lillard as his prize. Lillard is exactly what the Snails need and teamed with Golden State's Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson, Trieu's backcourt will rain points on everyone. Sure Kevin Love is out for six weeks but that hardly matters. The Snails have been trying to get away from small ball over the past season or so -- despite having Josh Smith -- and they did some draft day maneuvering to add Andray Blatche and Robin Lopez. The rest of this team is all small though, with Danilo Gallinari, Raymond Felton, and non-rebounding swing forward Jeff Green. Marvin Williams and rookie Jae Crowder are also around to play SF. We can't imagine the Snails getting only four wins again this season, but there seems to be a bit of identity crisis here.
Biggest Roadblock: Stephen Curry's precious precious ankles

Jedi Knights (2-10)
A huge off-season has transformed this team. After winning only ten games in three years, the Jedi Knights needed a facelift. Gone are Dirk Nowitzki and Nene, in are Amare Stoudemire, DeAndre Jordan, and Luis Scola. The Nowitzki trade so far has netted Andray Blatche (not kept), Amare, and whoever shows up in 2014 RD1. We are bullish on the offensive capability of this team, as Wesley Matthews, OJ Mayo, and David Lee can certainly all fill it up. New additions Mo Williams and Gerald Green can do the same. Both Thaddeus Young and Chandler Parsons have some intriguing upside but they'll need minutes to perform. Late rounders C.J. Miles and rookie Jared Sullinger will mostly wait for an injury. The old Republic Knights were going nowhere so the new look Knights were very necessary. We're not sure how this team will gel entirely, but there seems to be a lot of shooting, scoring, and enough REB/BLK and make this team competitive.
Biggest Roadblock: There's no "D" in "Force"

Fob Stars (1-11)
I gotta stop inviting Jimmy to fantasy leagues. A few years after going winless in our football league, he sets the new bar for futility here with one win. We thought they were on the way up after last season's 6-13 campaign but that was obviously not the case. In his defense, it's not all his fault. Zach Randolph, Joakim Noah, Chris Kaman, and Emeka Okafor all played less than half a season each. That's the entire front line basically. Add in the loss of Chauncey Billups, who lost his entire 2012 season and that left Michael Beasley, Evan Turner, and D.J. Augustin to fend for themselves. Now Turner and Augustin are gone, and the big men are back, plus Lou Williams.

Jimmy wisely went young with his draft, scooping up Dion Waiters, Tyler Zeller, and Kemba Walker. Waiters and Walker need to become the backcourt of the near future for the Fob Stars to have a chance to be semi-competitive. Dorell Wright adds 3PT and STL to the small forward position, which is good because Beasley will only chuck in PTS. Washington teammates Trevor Booker and A.J. Price can share time on the pine together. Overall, the Fob Stars should have the sort of front court to win all the big men stats, but the guard and wing positions are very unsteady. Still, more than one win is guaranteed, we hope.
Biggest Roadblock: Getting that first win early to prevent another downward spiral

Another new owner!

After adding two new owners last year, we have another one this year. We bid farewell to the creaky 2005 NBA All-Star Team, which was built for a short championship run, and then deemed too old once the chips got down. Way to ditch you team Steve! Over three seasons, 2005 NBA All-Star Team compiled a 27-22 record and won the Transformers division back in 2010. It will be a real loss to lose Steve, who was the consensus #1 pick for the mock draft of the owners, but we feel confident our new owner can step up to the plate.

Introducing Chris*, who is actually an old SlamNation owner from years ago. He's back after a bit of a hiatus and is now tuning in from Korea. Which is a nice tidbit since 2005 NBA All-Star Team used to be called Korea! Korea! during their first season. After just a few days on the job, Chris has already upended his roster to dramatic results.

*I have no idea how I'm going to differentiate between the two Chris', both are "Chris L's" and I can't use last names. Should we just go with last names as first names? Yes, it'll be Lum and Lucas from now on, unless they want me to article them under a different name.

Three years ago, Korea! Korea! took Dwight Howard, Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, Jason Richardson, Antawn Jamison, and Manu Ginobili during our inaugural draft. Since then, their best move was to trade for Ricky Rubio during before the 2012 draft.

While Steve showed a predilection for veterans, it's clear Chris has a different agenda. Left with the carcass of a roster, Chris set about rebuilding by moving Dwight Howard for Blake Griffin, Carmelo Anthony, and Kenneth Faried. Declining to keep Faried, Chris then tapped Derrick Favors, Rubio, Ginobili, and free agent non-keeper Jeff Teague to form the core of his new squad.

Then, during the 2013 draft, Chris took Glen Davis, Antawn Jamison, Thomas Robinson, C.J. Watson and Gerald Henderson. A 2013 RD2 pick was pre-ordained for another team too, as that was the pick exchanged for Rubio. With everyone on board, we can imagine where this team is headed for the upcoming season.

Jeff Teague will run point to start and he'll have savvy veteran Ginobili beside him. Teague is an up and comer and will be the only source of AST on this team until Rubio returns. C.J. Watson will be pressed into duty as the third guard, a role that's perhaps overeaching for him but he'll likely add a three and a steal each game. Carmelo Anthony and Blake Griffin will form the highest scoring forward tandem in the league, and that will give Chris' team a chance to be highly competitive in FG% and PTS. Manning the middle will be undersized Glen Davis, who can't protect the rim but could provide some scoring and a touch of rebounding.

Filling out the frontline will be three power forwards. Derrick Favors could be a future star but he'll need more minutes to break out. Rookie Thomas Robinson is a shoot first project that will also have a crowded real life logjam in front of him. Old boy Antawn Jamison is back for another spin, and he could be a nice scoring boost but his best fantasy days are clearly over. With the exception of Favors, there's not a lot of BLK on this roster, so this team will likely be offensive first and defense second, which will make for great highlights.

In general, we're looking at a team that has quite a few holes, especially with Rubio injured, but this is a roster that is rebuilding and already looking infinitely better than where it was left at the end of last season. So everyone, please (re-)welcome Chris and his new franchise: Eron, Joven and Chandler! "The prized Ebony Rhino was stolen from Eron by Chandler and Joven, and had yet to be retrieved the last time Ulgrotha was seen."

Weekly Games Cap: An Explanation

Not naming any names, some people have asked how to maximize our games despite being in the league for three years. See the little "Game Limits (Cur/Max)* --/22 games played" thing during your head-to-head matchups? That's where you can see games played each week. A quick primer for the rest.

Why have a weekly games limit cap?
The idea around having a cap is to prevent streaming free agents and making fantasy basketball just about who gets to play more guys.

What is the soft versus hard cap?
The soft cap is 22, while the hard cap is 29. This is because it's possible to exceed the soft cap by remaining one game under 22 and then putting in up to eight players the next day, to get to 29 total (21+8). The hard cap is the real number of games counted each week, while the soft cap is just what we have to use because ESPN's system is weird like that. [Changed to 21 soft, 28 hard, in 2019]

The reason ESPN doesn't count individual games that last day is because who's to say which games are worth more on that final day so ESPN counts them all. Power tip: As a savvy coach, you're supposed to try to get to 29 games played.

How do I use the soft cap to my advantage?
As long as you are under the 22 game cap, you can throw in all of the next day's games. So ideally you want to hit Saturday night at 21 games, then put in eight players for Sunday's games. That gives you 21+8 to equal 29 games total. You'll see 29/22 games played. Success!

Also, it doesn't have to be Saturday that you try to be one under the cap. If you don't have a lot of games coming up on a Sunday, sometimes you'll go for under the cap on Friday and then jam in all the games on Saturday. Make sense?

What's the easiest way to do this?
Just count each week how many games your top eight are going to play. I like to start on Saturday and count back to twenty one, then jam in everyone I can on Sunday. Figure out whatever method works for you.

In its conception, SlamNation should mirror a NBA team, with eight players in the playing rotation -- five starters and three subs -- and the four bench spots are mostly unused bench players. That's why our game limits cap is so low. 29 games per week works out to about 3.625 games for each of the eight main players, which is about how many games each NBA player averages per week during their regular season. Note: Last year we adjusted the games max cap higher because of the compressed lockout schedule.

In theory you don't have to touch your lineup each week because the bench can just sit there, but injuries, players' ups and downs, and weekly matchups will affect your actual playing rotation.

2013 Schedule

As you know, Alvin makes the schedule each year and it features a custom strength of schedule, tailored to how bad -- or good -- your team did last year. We're all about parity here at SlamNation, even if somehow I never seem to win. Take a look at the scheduling matrix and if it's off, please tell one of the commishes.

Some scheduling and rules notes for this upcoming 2013 season.

• We adjusted the max games per week back to 22, as we had raised it last season due to the compressed lockout schedule.
• The schedule matrix displays Home/Away teams, but the ESPN site is not accurate in that way because we just arbitrarily entered in the home team.
• WK1 is a max of 19 games, as it starts on Tuesday and is only a six day matchup.
• WK16 is a max of 44 games, as it spans All Star weekend and runs from Feb 11-24 for a fourteen day matchup.
• There are 19 regular season games this season, with the last week being March 11-17.

Off-Season Rebuilds

We're used to a lot of movement before keeper declarations due to teams trying to dump their "extra" players for draft picks. Often that has resulted in spectacular value deals, such as last year's pre-keeper pickup of Ty Lawson and Ricky Rubio for mere draft picks. This year had plenty of moves too, but all through two teams, Funk Coalition and Jedi Knights, as they completely revamped their keeper cores.

• Jedi Knights trade 2013 RD1, 2014 RD4 to Pogiboys for Amare Stoudemire
• Jedi Knights trade 2013 RD3, 2014 RD2 to NJ All Stars for Luis Scola, DeAndre Jordan

Coming off the heels of last year's controversial Dirk Nowitzki trade, GM Chris was looking to shore up his keeper roster. (Considering Andray Blatche wasn't even kept, Dirk will have essentially be moved for two first rounders.) Jedi Knights moved early for Amare Stoudemire, bringing a star back in the fold. Even still, his top six included Alonzo Gee and Jerryd Bayless, neither of whom starts for their NBA teams. After pursuing a few other avenues, Chris sent off another pair of picks for Luis Scola and DeAndre Jordan, who will provide some REB/BLK and shore up the roster. Now Chris' keepers look like this: Amare Stoudemire, David Lee, Wesley Matthews, OJ Mayo, Luis Scola, DeAndre Jordan.

As for Funk Coalition, GM Jon woke up one morning to news that Rajon Rondo was available from 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps. Springing into action, he quickly secured Rondo's services and then set about building his team around the mercurial guard. After much discussion and some internal dissension, it was decided to punt FT%, ditch 3PT, and go all out Rondo-style. With that in mind, GM Jon set off to acquire Dwight Howard and Blake Griffin, and any other star who can't hit the rim from fifteen feet away.

After a lot of finagling, Funk Coalition pulled off three trades post-Rondo, and almost came away with both Dwight and Blake. While that didn't quite happen, Jon did secure the services of Marc Gasol to pair with Dwight on the front line. Funk Coalition's new top six looks like this: Russell Westbrook, Dwight Howard, Rajon Rondo, Marc Gasol, Tony Parker, Tyreke Evans.

• Funk Coalition trade 2013 RD1, 2013 RD2, 2014 RD3 to 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps for Rajon Rondo
• Funk Coalition trade Al Jefferson, 2013 RD4 to Squirtle Squad for Blake Griffin, Jeremy Lin
• Funk Coalition trade Blake Griffin, Carmelo Anthony, Kenneth Faried to 2005 NBA All Stars for Dwight Howard
• Funk Coalition trade Chris Bosh, Jeremy Lin to LA Buffy for Marc Gasol

In the end, Funk Coalition paid a hefty price -- many would say way overpaid -- for this new team, but GM Jon is delighted to have Rondo forever, even if it means having to pair him up with a gross Laker. Rumors already abound about locker room tension and Dwight's people have been exploring trade opportunities. How does that adage go? Never trust a Laker?

2013 Keepers

We got started declaring a little late, and we pulled in a new owner (farewell Steve and 2005 All Star Team), so here it is, the keepers heading into the 2013 season!

2013 Draft Positions

2013 DRAFT ORDER

1. Fob Stars (1-11)
2. Jedi Knights (2-10)
3. So Buckets (3-9)
4. Fob Stars (3-9)
5. Sour Snails (4-8)
6. Human Amoebas (5-7)
7. LA Buffy (5-7)
8. MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4) *Missed playoffs despite winning record
9. 2005 NBA All Star Team (6-6)
10. Chunky Monkeys (8-4)
11. The Horizon (8-4)
12. 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (8-4)
13. Half Man Half ImAsian (8-4)
14. Squirtle Squad (10-2)
15. NJ All Stars (8-4) *Runner-up
16. Fat Jubas (9-3) *Champion

Toilet Bowl winner: MoRRie's Pogiboys
Toilet Bowl runner-up: Sour Snails