2013 Championship: Pooh and Heffa Forever

Whew, what a Finals! How about a game that came right down to the wire and featured quite a few lead changes as we headed into the homestretch. Early Sunday afternoon, Buffy clung to a tenuous lead as their seven players were facing off against Heffalumps' five. With most of the categories squared away, it was likely down to PTS and STL for who would take the 2013 crown. Despite Kobe Bryant and Jamal Crawford putting up their regular 20+ points, it looked like Buffy would take the win as they had a plethora of players left to go. But John Salmons put up a two point clunker, and Elton Brand and Jameer Nelson remained on the bench due to injury. After a hard fought week, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps emerged with a 5-4 victory, winning by a mere 4 PTS (404 to 401). What?! This has to be our closest Finals matchup ever

We told you last week that this game could come down to PTS, STL and TO, and on this we were right. Heffalumps big men -- Al Horford, Kenneth Faried, Omer Asik, Shawn Marion -- secured the REB and BLK categories early on, even with a huge week by Buffy's Tim Duncan (20.0 PTS, 9.7 REB, 2.3 BLK). The Big Fundamental missed an early week game at Memphis, and clearly he would have pushed Buffy to a win. Alas, Chris Bosh also missed a crucial mid-week matchup with a sore knee, and his fantastic scoring numbers were missed. Carlos Boozer, Jeremy Lin, and Raymond Felton played the bulk of the minutes for Buffy, and while all three had some stellar numbers, it just wasn't quite enough. Buffy won FT% and AST pretty easily, but those came at the cost of higher TOs. Our embedded reporter was brought to tears after witnessing Roger's shock at his close loss. Shed a tear for denizens of Buffyland, better luck next year.

As for our champions, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps won with a low scoring squad that is likely unique in Finals history. They shot the ball well, avoided turnovers, and played tough defense throughout. There were a lot of heroes during this championship week.

Omer Asik averaged 12.0 REB over four games, while Kenneth Faried had 11.0 REB and 3.0 BLK over his three games. Kawhi Leonard missed half the week but came out huge, averaging 24.0 PTS, 10.0 REB, 5.0 AST, 1.5 STL, and 1.0 BLK in his two games. Jamal Crawford, a Sixth Man of the Year candidate, put up 19.3 PTS on 45.2 FG%. Kobe Bryant only shot forty percent from the field but his 24.0 PTS, 7.7 REB, 10.0 AST, and 1.7 STL were obviously MVP-worthy.

However, the real hero might just be Shawn Marion -- an original Heffalumps / Pooh Bears draft pick, and number three overall, dating back to our old cycle. With a season average of only 11.8 PTS, Marion threw up 25 and 20 points on back to back nights, and his solid play on Sunday afternoon turned out to be the difference between a trophy and a "good try."

The path to the championship wasn't easy though. 100 Acre Wood started off the season 5-1-1 before slipping into six week winless streak. Spirits were low, Kobe was pissed off, and the Manimal was about to maim somebody. It looked like they might slip out of the playoffs, before they righted the ship with a 4-1 streak to nudge into a wildcard spot. Once there, J's team created havoc by upending the #1 seed, NJ All Stars, and then knocking off another higher seed, Chunky Monkeys, in the Russell Conference Finals. Through it all, J quietly managed his team and kept his team focused on the prize. It just goes to show that once you get into the playoffs, anything can happen. For the Heffalumps, 2013 ended in a glorious run to the trophy celebration. Congratulations!

We do have a bit of sad news on this parade worthy day. Heffalumps owner/GM/coach J, after careful consideration, has decided to retire on top. In a heartfelt and open letter to his fanbase, J said that he would be stepping down after almost a decade at the helm. After winning the SlamNation championship, he walked off the court, leaving nothing behind. An excerpt from his final address: "I'm damn proud of winning this league, but my work is done. I'm dropping the microphone. I think that Shawn Marion was my first ever pick in SlamNation and he ended up being the last one on the court to seal the victory for the Heffalumps."

That leaves an opening for a new owner to take over the defending champions. It seems J has taken a cue from his beloved fantasy football league, Maize and Blue, when their owner abdicated the throne after a 2011 championship. Since I was the lucky owner to slide into the defending champion's seat, I can say that it is some big shoes to fill. Thank you J for your many years of SlamNation participation and your always highly competitive skills will be missed!

(Full Box Score)

2013 Toilet Bowl: Half Full, All Win

The Pogiboys were one rebound away from securing back-to-back #1 overall draft picks. Second year breakout candidate Tristan Thompson averaged 11.75 REB over his four games, but that wasn't enough, as a team featuring Roy Hibbert and Anthony Davis on the front line got outrebounded 162-161, for the close one category loss. Congrats to Oliver's Half Man Half ImAsian!

Oliver can thank Ersan Ilyasova's four games, where he grabbed 8.8 REB while playing power forward in a small ball lineup. That's actually lower than the 10.3 REB Ilyasova had been averaging over the past month, but he grabbed the most rebounds on Half Man Half ImAsian for the week. Kevin Durant and LaMarcus Aldridge were also spectacular during the Toilet Bowl, and most of their contributions ended up coming from the free throw line as they, along with Ilyasova, combined to shoot 41/48 from the charity stripe, thus giving Oliver's team the FT% edge.

Half Man Half ImAsian weren't far off from winning 3PT, but ultimately it was an extra rebound that made all the difference. We also shouldn't overlook Tony Allen, Jason Kidd, and Trevor Ariza's combined 22 STL, which were key to generating turnovers. And how about Durantula's seven blocks, as he protected the rim and outpaced everyone else in the Toilet Bowl for the BLK category. The final score was maybe a little closer than predicted, so we're sure Oliver sweated it out till the end.

For Pogiboy, they had some great showings too. But despite the explosive scoring heroics of Mike Conley Jr. and J.R. Smith -- who both matched Durant for PTS over the Finals -- Pogiboys couldn't pull out a win. Smith, a true post-season hero, averaged 21.3 PTS, 6.0 REB, 2.5 3PT over his four games of the Toilet Bowl, and even shot a decent 44.3 FG%. He might be making his case for being keeper worthy after this season. MoRRie's Pogiboys will still enjoy a very high draft pick next year, and with a core that keeps on getting more talent, this might be the last we see of Alvin in the Toilet Bowl for awhile.

As for our winners, Oliver's ready to give his team a fresh new face from the college ranks, and with Anderson Verajao returning to the fold, it's likely Half Man Half ImAsian could be returning to the playoffs soon themselves. Thanks for a great Toilet Bowl guys, now who's gonna draft Trey Burke?!

Conference Recap & Finals Preview

We're not sure what happened last week, but somehow both underdogs took the conference championship games and are now on their way to a Finals matchup.

After catapulting out of the gate, Roger's Buffy was backsliding as the post-season came around. But they have emerged from the tough Chamberlain Conference behind primo shooting and squeaking by both Squirtle Squad and Sour Snails. Shockingly, we think Steve Blake's five 3PT in his one appearance last week sealed the win for Buffy -- along with Chris Bosh's unexpected six BLK -- as they narrowly edged out Sour Snails. Trieu's team floundered behind horrific shooting from Damian Lillard and Klay Thompson (10.5 FG% on 2of19 with only two 3PT). It was shocking to have the high powered Snails taken down, but Buffy fully deserved the victory, especially considering Tim Duncan and Carlos Boozer only played two games apiece. It should be noted that recent trade acquisition, Raymond Felton, acquired from Sour Snails a month ago, played the most minutes for Buffy, and contributed four 3PT on 65.2 FG%. Did Trieu contribute to his own upset?

Over in the Russell Conference, division rivals 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps and Chunky Monkeys faced off in a game that turned into a semi-blowout. The final score was close, but the Monkeys were without the full services of James Harden, David West, Byron Mullens, and Goran Dragic. By the time Carlos Delfino and Markieff Morris got in there, it was pretty much over. Still, it took a monstrous week from Kobe Bryant to give Heffalumps the win, as they needed every one of  Kobe's 29.0 points averged over the week. With Al Horford dinged up, Kobe Bryant and Jamal Crawford teamed up to shoot J's team into the Finals. In subsequent weeks, Heffalumps has dispatched both of the higher seeded Thundercat teams in front of them, shattering the championship hopes of NJ All-Stars and Chunky Monkeys -- while going 6-1 in the last two months. Now Heffalumps will be the third Thundercat team to make a Finals apperance. Can they be the first to win it all?


SLAMNATION FINALS PREVIEW
#2 Buffy (13-6) vs #4 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (9-8-2)
Well, here we are, one week to determine the 2013 SlamNation champion. We're not even sure how to handicap this matchup as we're still shaking our heads over how these two teams made the Finals. Neither are the most talented teams in the league. Both are middle of the road in most categories -- Buffy isn't top three or bottom three in any category, Heffalumps are second in REB, third in FG%, and thirteenth in AST -- and the rosters wouldn't scare too many people on paper, but these are our true championship contenders.

The first factor, injuries, would seem to leave Buffy at a bit of a mismatch. Jameer Nelson, a key cog on this team, is still day-to-day. Tim Duncan, the heart and soul for Buffy this season, is returning after a one game absence and a 5 point, 4 rebound performance. Duncan had been averaging 24.7 PTS, 12.3 REB, 3.0 BLK over his last three games, so Roger really hopes he can go the rest of the week. Chris Bosh is going to continue putting up huge numbers in Lebron and Wade's absence, and he'll need to team up with Carlos Boozer to take over the paint against Heffalumps' combo of Horford, Kenneth Faried, and Omer Asik. Both Bismack Biyombo and Elton Brand could enter the game for their blocks, and that could be a hotly contested category, especially if Duncan can't go.

As for the backcourt, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Martin, Jamal Crawford, and Jason Terry will face off versus Jeremy Lin, J.J. Redick, Raymond Felton, Vince Carter, and maybe Jameer Nelson. We'll assume Buffy gets the AST edge here, but PTS and nearly everything else will go to Heffalumps. We think Kyle Korver will be inserted for Buffy to hit 3PT, while Kawhi Leonard's all around contributions will be missed by Heffalumps. We're thinking Kobe will slide to the small forward slot, and make that a strength. Overall, this championship game looks to be very evenly matched, and as of midweek, it looks like PTS, STL, and TO could be the categories that determine who wins the title. Then again, it's only Wednesday, and anything could happen!


TOILET BOWL PREVIEW
#2 Half Man Half ImAsian (7-10-2) vs #3 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-10-1)
In somewhat lackluster fashion, the Toilet Bowl also features two teams that upset their way to the best of the worst top of the heap. Half Man Half ImAsian destroyed Fob Stars to advance to the Toilet Bowl Finals. Ersan Ilyasova, aka James Franco, is officially back in full effect averaging 21.0 PTS, 11.0 REB, 2.8 3PT, and 1.8 STL over the past week. He's picked up all the slack from LaMarcus Aldridge and he's paired with Kevin Durant to drag Oliver's team to a high pick next season.

They'll be facing off against Pogiboys, who are in their second straight Toilet Bowl Finals. If Pogiboys win this week, ending up with back-to-back number one overall selections, Alvin better not be back here next season. Pogiboys put down streaking Super Ninja by riding Mike Conley Jr., the destructive force that is Roy Hibbert, and the even more destructive force that is J.R. Smith, who averaged almost 30.0 PPG during the matchup. Thien's Super Ninja had a similarly gigantic week from John Wall -- averaging 24.5 PTS, 8.3 AST, 6.8 REB, 1.0 BLK over his last four games -- but he couldn't offset the lack of games from Dwayne Wade, Rudy Gay, and Nikola Pekovic.

We want to give the edge to Half Man Half ImAsian, but we're not sure if they can pull of another win with LaMarcus Aldridge sitting. Basically it'll be Durant and Ilyasova versus everyone on the Pogiboys. We're excited to see who'll win this game, but congrats to both Oliver and Alvin for securing the #1 and #2 picks for 2014.