For most of the past five seasons, Voltron has sent only one representative to the playoffs. Last season was the first time they had to double digit winners, as both So Buckets and Super Ninja (now Fighting Dragons) made it to the post-season. This year, Voltron will be out to close the gap between them and fellow Russell Conference division mates, the ultra-competitive Thundercats. [2014 Preview]
#4: MoRRie’s Pogiboys (6-13, 8-10-1)
Three franchises have yet to sniff the playoffs. Unfortunately, Pogiboys is one of them. After two years of stellar drafts, netting Anthony Davis and Victor Oladipo, this team should be finally able to climb out of the gutter. Right? On the surface, Pogiboys looks like a perfectly balanced team with three nice guards (Oladipo, Mike Conley, Brandon Jennings) to pair with three good big men (Davis, Roy Hibbert, Brook Lopez). The problem is, injuries tend to strike this team hard. Last year it was Davis and Lopez, and Hibbert might as well have been injured. This year it’s already Oladipo with at least one month out. It’s been a very slow rebuild for Pogiboy and the fan base is starting to get restless...
Coming on board this season? More youth! With the sixth overall pick, Alvin opted for Elfrid Payton’s Basquiat-like locks. Payton is being touted as a R.O.Y. candidate and here’s hoping he lives up to that promise. Third rounder Gorgui Dieng is looking like a potential beast, and he should slot right in among the other bigs on this roster. Alec Burks will have another year of experience under his belt and Draymond Green can contribute in many categories, given the playing time. Rookie fifth rounder James Ennis is a long shot but Pogiboys clearly is into upside potential. Note: Last seaon’s pre-draft trade of Brook Lopez turned out to cost 2014 Patrick Beverly and 2015 D.J. Augustin, not bad? Here’s hoping Pogiboys gets a full season of health on their way to a competitive season!
#5: Inept Henchmen (6-12-1)
Last year’s first three dispersal draft picks, Derrick Rose, Dirk Nowitzki, and Eric Gordon are already gone. Traded for essentially Dwight Howard, Tony Parker, Jeff Green, and Derrick Favors. Not a bad haul for a player that didn’t play all season, an injury prone shooter, and a slowly declining superstar in Dallas. Those four new faces will have Kenneth Faried and Andrew Bogut alongside them as they push to make Henchmen a team to fear in a soft division. Previous ownership blitzed toward a title in 2011 under the “Human Amoebas” moniker, but it’s been loss after loss since then. New owner Trevor has already equaled the win totals from 2012-13 with his six win 2014 debut season.
The new look Henchmen are decidedly front court heavy, with Howard, Bogut, Favors, and Faried. Thus they used the draft to scoop up Jose Calderon, Kyle Korver, rookie Nik Stauskas, and Rodney Stuckey, who could lead Indiana in scoring this year by default. (The trade for Dwight Howard meant that Inept moved their 2015 RD1, which turned out to be Marcus Smart.) Everyone is high on scorer T.J. Warren, even if it takes him awhile to get healthy and minutes. Last rounder Tony Wroten actually could start because he’ll have plenty of shots and opportunity in Philadelphia as they purse another tanking season. Overall, this team is looking much better after one year of new ownership than at any point before, and fans are excited that the team now seems to have a direction and a vision. And again, best logo in the game!
#10: Fighting Dragons (10-8-1, 9-9-1)
On paper, Fighting Dragons has had a lot of success. Two division titles, three playoff appearances, no losing seasons, and even a Toilet Bowl win in 2010. But somehow it all means that they’ve been mostly slightly above middle of the pack. At no point have they been true championship contenders, as they’ve never even been to the Conference Finals. Good but not great, is that enough? One thing for sure, GM Thien has been very active in looking for solutions, and his coaching has driven his team to many victories that maybe they wouldn’t have had on talent alone. Now, with his two point guard attack, John Wall and mid-season trade acquisition Damian Lillard, full engaged and ready for a full season together, Fighting Dragons might better be called “Double Dragons.”
Wall and Lillard both had outstanding seasons last year. And Brandon Knight was quietly superb last year too. Old man Dwayne Wade will be counted on for a lot, but he’s only playing 70% of the Heat’s games now, and it’s clear that he’s no longer this team’s go-to guy. After a few draft day trades, Thien emerged with Trevor Ariza and Tyreke Evans as keepers, which represent an upgrade over likely keepers Robin Lopez and Khris Middleton. The Dragons haven’t drafted high in quite some time, so they must be ecstatic to have Julius Randle drop to them at #12 overall. Besides being a Laker, Randle will likely be able to contribute immediately as he’s said to be one of the most NBA ready prospects from this draft class. New center Steven Adams will take over Kendrick Perkins’ starting gig in OKC, while Omer Asik will contribute stiff interior defense. It’s a shame Nick Young will be out for a few weeks because this team could use some more outside shooting. There was talk that Evan Turner could start at point guard this season, but instead he’ll probably serve as an intriguing boom/bust type from the bench. Fighting Dragons are likely always going to be a threat for a division title, but they’ll need to step up their game one notch to finally be contenders.
#12: So Buckets (11-8, 10-9)
Despite an injury plagued season, So Buckets fought back from a rough early season to capture their second straight division title. We asked the question if Buckets were true championship contenders last year, and while they were upset in the playoffs, they are clearly trending upwards while continually gathering new talent. Andre Iguodala, Evan Turner, and Moe Harkless have been replaced by NBA All-Star DeMar DeRozan, Nikola Pekovic, and Jared “Kevin Love-lite” Sullinger. Kyrie Irving is still the franchise here, and while his scoring may take a dip, his FG% and AST will certainly go up with his new glamour teammates. Pau Gasol is in nice new red digs, and there’s no way Larry Sanders plays as poorly as he did last year. So yeah, this team is looking young while at the same time experienced.
And how about Josh's draft? We love the grab for Joel Embiid at the bottom of round one. Embiid represents potential star quality that wouldn’t normally be available so far down. Even if he doesn’t hit the court until next year, Embiid is a value pick worth of stashing. And second rounder Josh McRoberts is going to get every shot he can chuck out in Miami. After that, the bench gets a little iffier. Iguodala makes a return, and if expectations for a non-scorer are in line, he’s still a useable piece. Rudy Gobert is a mystery but maybe he could put some nice BLK numbers up. And here’s value if you like it: Ben McLemore, last year’s #1 overall SlamNation pick, scooped up in the fifth round. And as an unabashed Iman Shumpert believer, I can safely say that he’ll tease and then be hurt very soon. So Buckets is looking to make the leap to championship status, and if a few things break right, this could be the year they finally do it.
Russell Conference: Thundercats Division
Last year added another powerhouse to an already ultra-competitive division. Thundercats has traditionally been a tough place to reign, but NJ All-Stars has made it look frighteningly easy recently. Now, another Thundercats challenger just added the #1 and #2 overall picks for added spice. [2014 Preview]
#2: Funk Coalition (5-14, 8-9-2)
In a division of heavy hitters, Funk has sunk to the bottom. Dirty fact: Funk has never had a winning season, not one. In a division that semi-regularly sends three teams to the playoffs, that’s very embarassing. After jettisoning tons of parts just two years ago, GM Jon is on a trading roll again. The ultra-big lineup featuring Dwight Howard didn’t gel correctly, and now it’s onto a more guard heavy attack. Of course, those guards are Derrick Rose, Rajon Rondo, and Eric Gordon, who have about a ten percent chance of all staying healthy. The front line is still rock solid with Al Jefferson, Andre Drummond, and the infuriating Josh Smith, but that backcourt could implode in a hurry. After last season’s disastrous season, all remnants of Funk’s original core left the building with Tony Parker.
The good news is that new guards are coming! Dante Exum and Marcus Smart were #3 and #7 overall, and while both may take a while to season, they could be doing it from on the court as Rose, Rondo, or Gordon will inevitably get hurt. DeMarre Carroll will serve as a wing off the bench, alongside sixth rounder Wesley Johnson. Another rookie, Aaron Gordon will sit the pine, next to low upside big men Kyle O’Quinn and Miles Plumlee. Most of this season’s success will hinge on Rose and Rondo’s return, as well as one of the rookies emerging. In such a hotly contested division, that may still not be enough to acquire a winning record. Sigh.
#8: Chunky Monkeys (9-10, 11-7-1)
It’s hard to be a happier fantasy basketball owner than Evan. I mean, all his evil machinations worked out and he not only won the Toilet Bowl but he also WON the Toilet Bowl with Fat Jubas’ pick too. This is the fastest rebuilding plan I’ve ever seen, right? While Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker aren’t LeBron, it’s clear they’ll have plenty of chances with their new franchises as the number one guys. Monkeys already feature James Harden, Goran Dragic, Jrue Holiday, and Jeff Teague as a wonderful guard unit, so when Wiggins and Parker get into the flow, they’ll just add to all that greatness.
The only thing keeping this team from challenging for a division title now is a frontcourt capable of getting these guys some rebounds and rim protection. Marc Gasol is the most well rounded center in fantasy but he’s not a big volume guy in any category. He could be slightly miscast on this team. Sixth keeper Terrence Jones could get more minutes this season but he’s not a frontline player by any means. So the hunt is on for someone who can anchor the defense and keep this from being a small ball lineup. (Or should Evan return to his small ball ways?) Thus the three headed center poo poo platter of Henry Sims, John Henson, and Timofey Mozgov. Someone has to rotate in with Gasol and Jones, so one of these guys better be the solution. Toronto’s James Johnson is around too, to do…I don’t really know what, since I have no idea who he is. Really, with such a good backcourt, as well as the two prize rookies, Monkeys don't really need to look into contending right now. Rather, they can just sit back like Daenerys and watch their future All-Stars grow, while plotting how to bolster that front line before they unleash dragonfire on everyone.
#13: Spade (12-7, 9-8-2)
There’s a strong argument to be made that Spade has been the most successful franchise in SlamNation history. They’ve got the second best winning percentage overall, never had a losing season, and also captured a title before dropping the mic and exiting as 100 Acre Pooh Bears, stage left. After the dispersal draft last year, one that totally reloaded a defending champion, it looked like new owner Randall was going to repeat easily. Fortunately for the rest of us, injuries hit hard. Like really hard. I think at half this team was on the mend, usually all at once. Despite all that turbulence, Spade still managed to sneak out a playoff win, and now they’re back and fully healthy.
Kevin Love is here. Al Horford is here. Eric Bledsoe is here. Kawhi Leonard is already day-to-day, but what a NBA Finals he had. Kobe Bryant is back. And the iron man on the team last year, Paul Millsap, is coming off a fantastic season. This is on the only team that held over all six keepers from the previous year, and why not? Outside of maybe Sour Snails, what roster boasts such well balanced talent across the board? Spade also drafted Arron Afflalo’s career year last season. So, with all these guys back, is Randall pushing for a title? In a word: YES! His draft was all veterans with David West, Paul Pierce, Ersan Ilyasova, J.R. Smith, Anderson Verajao, and Nene Hilario. Yup, the youngest guy there is probably Earl Joseph Smith III. Team Spade can see their championship window and they’re aiming straight for it. We love this attitude and despite being fearful of their dominance last year, now we’re subtly hoping for a Clash of the Titans type battle with the next team on our list...
#15: NJ All-Stars (14-5, 15-4)
NJ All-Stars has ruled Thundercats, and by extension Russell Conference, for two years straight. Arguably three, since in 2012 they had an eight win record, same as two other teams in Thundercats. Then they showed everyone up by going to the Finals in Eddie’s rookie season. Now, they are at a bit of the crossroads. After last year’s all-in trade for Joakim Noah yielded a crushing Finals upset, can these All-Stars recover mentally in time to push their way up the mountain top again? Oh wait, before any of that, we can’t dismiss Paul George’s horrific leg injury. George is out for the year and he may never come back! Okay, he will, but that break was awful. Without George playing mini-LeBron, it’ll be tough for LBJ to push this squad into championship status. Then again, maybe Lance Stephenson can elevate himself to second fiddle, and Kyle Lowry did solidify himself as a prime time point guard. Plus, Reggie Jackson will get a lot of run without Kevin Durant Around. Compared to last season’s keepers, Stephenson, Jackson, and Noah are still a huge upgrade on Spencer Hawes, Jose Calderon, and Ryan Anderson.
For the draft, All-Stars lost a pick due to the Noah acquisition — which cost them Nerlens Noel, Ryan Anderson, this year’s RD2, Andrea Bargnani — and tagged Tobias Harris, Matt Barnes, and rookie K.J. McDaniels to play small forward. Dion Waiters and C.J. Miles will give this team the shooting it needs, but there doesn’t seem to be anybody else to play alongside Noah. So it looks like it’ll be small ball with LeBron at power forward and a whole bunch of wings alongside. Will that be enough to return to the Finals? Will that be enough to fend off Spade? We’re excited to find out!
#2: Funk Coalition (5-14, 8-9-2)
In a division of heavy hitters, Funk has sunk to the bottom. Dirty fact: Funk has never had a winning season, not one. In a division that semi-regularly sends three teams to the playoffs, that’s very embarassing. After jettisoning tons of parts just two years ago, GM Jon is on a trading roll again. The ultra-big lineup featuring Dwight Howard didn’t gel correctly, and now it’s onto a more guard heavy attack. Of course, those guards are Derrick Rose, Rajon Rondo, and Eric Gordon, who have about a ten percent chance of all staying healthy. The front line is still rock solid with Al Jefferson, Andre Drummond, and the infuriating Josh Smith, but that backcourt could implode in a hurry. After last season’s disastrous season, all remnants of Funk’s original core left the building with Tony Parker.
The good news is that new guards are coming! Dante Exum and Marcus Smart were #3 and #7 overall, and while both may take a while to season, they could be doing it from on the court as Rose, Rondo, or Gordon will inevitably get hurt. DeMarre Carroll will serve as a wing off the bench, alongside sixth rounder Wesley Johnson. Another rookie, Aaron Gordon will sit the pine, next to low upside big men Kyle O’Quinn and Miles Plumlee. Most of this season’s success will hinge on Rose and Rondo’s return, as well as one of the rookies emerging. In such a hotly contested division, that may still not be enough to acquire a winning record. Sigh.
#8: Chunky Monkeys (9-10, 11-7-1)
It’s hard to be a happier fantasy basketball owner than Evan. I mean, all his evil machinations worked out and he not only won the Toilet Bowl but he also WON the Toilet Bowl with Fat Jubas’ pick too. This is the fastest rebuilding plan I’ve ever seen, right? While Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker aren’t LeBron, it’s clear they’ll have plenty of chances with their new franchises as the number one guys. Monkeys already feature James Harden, Goran Dragic, Jrue Holiday, and Jeff Teague as a wonderful guard unit, so when Wiggins and Parker get into the flow, they’ll just add to all that greatness.
The only thing keeping this team from challenging for a division title now is a frontcourt capable of getting these guys some rebounds and rim protection. Marc Gasol is the most well rounded center in fantasy but he’s not a big volume guy in any category. He could be slightly miscast on this team. Sixth keeper Terrence Jones could get more minutes this season but he’s not a frontline player by any means. So the hunt is on for someone who can anchor the defense and keep this from being a small ball lineup. (Or should Evan return to his small ball ways?) Thus the three headed center poo poo platter of Henry Sims, John Henson, and Timofey Mozgov. Someone has to rotate in with Gasol and Jones, so one of these guys better be the solution. Toronto’s James Johnson is around too, to do…I don’t really know what, since I have no idea who he is. Really, with such a good backcourt, as well as the two prize rookies, Monkeys don't really need to look into contending right now. Rather, they can just sit back like Daenerys and watch their future All-Stars grow, while plotting how to bolster that front line before they unleash dragonfire on everyone.
#13: Spade (12-7, 9-8-2)
There’s a strong argument to be made that Spade has been the most successful franchise in SlamNation history. They’ve got the second best winning percentage overall, never had a losing season, and also captured a title before dropping the mic and exiting as 100 Acre Pooh Bears, stage left. After the dispersal draft last year, one that totally reloaded a defending champion, it looked like new owner Randall was going to repeat easily. Fortunately for the rest of us, injuries hit hard. Like really hard. I think at half this team was on the mend, usually all at once. Despite all that turbulence, Spade still managed to sneak out a playoff win, and now they’re back and fully healthy.
Kevin Love is here. Al Horford is here. Eric Bledsoe is here. Kawhi Leonard is already day-to-day, but what a NBA Finals he had. Kobe Bryant is back. And the iron man on the team last year, Paul Millsap, is coming off a fantastic season. This is on the only team that held over all six keepers from the previous year, and why not? Outside of maybe Sour Snails, what roster boasts such well balanced talent across the board? Spade also drafted Arron Afflalo’s career year last season. So, with all these guys back, is Randall pushing for a title? In a word: YES! His draft was all veterans with David West, Paul Pierce, Ersan Ilyasova, J.R. Smith, Anderson Verajao, and Nene Hilario. Yup, the youngest guy there is probably Earl Joseph Smith III. Team Spade can see their championship window and they’re aiming straight for it. We love this attitude and despite being fearful of their dominance last year, now we’re subtly hoping for a Clash of the Titans type battle with the next team on our list...
#15: NJ All-Stars (14-5, 15-4)
NJ All-Stars has ruled Thundercats, and by extension Russell Conference, for two years straight. Arguably three, since in 2012 they had an eight win record, same as two other teams in Thundercats. Then they showed everyone up by going to the Finals in Eddie’s rookie season. Now, they are at a bit of the crossroads. After last year’s all-in trade for Joakim Noah yielded a crushing Finals upset, can these All-Stars recover mentally in time to push their way up the mountain top again? Oh wait, before any of that, we can’t dismiss Paul George’s horrific leg injury. George is out for the year and he may never come back! Okay, he will, but that break was awful. Without George playing mini-LeBron, it’ll be tough for LBJ to push this squad into championship status. Then again, maybe Lance Stephenson can elevate himself to second fiddle, and Kyle Lowry did solidify himself as a prime time point guard. Plus, Reggie Jackson will get a lot of run without Kevin Durant Around. Compared to last season’s keepers, Stephenson, Jackson, and Noah are still a huge upgrade on Spencer Hawes, Jose Calderon, and Ryan Anderson.
For the draft, All-Stars lost a pick due to the Noah acquisition — which cost them Nerlens Noel, Ryan Anderson, this year’s RD2, Andrea Bargnani — and tagged Tobias Harris, Matt Barnes, and rookie K.J. McDaniels to play small forward. Dion Waiters and C.J. Miles will give this team the shooting it needs, but there doesn’t seem to be anybody else to play alongside Noah. So it looks like it’ll be small ball with LeBron at power forward and a whole bunch of wings alongside. Will that be enough to return to the Finals? Will that be enough to fend off Spade? We’re excited to find out!
Chamberlain Conference: Transformers Division
For the first time in a few years, we’re rolling into the season with the same sixteen owners. Great job to us! We’ve got an intriguing NBA season coming up following an off-season of extreme upheaval. Will SlamNation be similarly upended? Let’s find out, starting with the Transformers Division. [2014 Preview]
Header formatting: #2015DraftPickPosition: TeamName (2014SeasonRecord, 2013SeasonRecord)
#3: LA Buffy (5-14, 13-6)
One year after racking up the most wins in the division and getting all the way to the Finals, Buffy found themselves as the only non-playoff team in Transformers after collapsing to only five wins in 2014. The good news is that Buffy tends to bounce back after down seasons. When they hit five wins two years ago, they came back strong with thirteen wins the next season. So, if past performance holds true, Buffy is headed toward a major bounceback season.
Buffy's keeper core switched out Raymond Felton for Tristan Thompson while retaining the front line of Tim Duncan, Chris Bosh, and Carlos Boozer. The point guard situation is still waiting for a star — something they’ve been missing since Baron Davis was good — but for now Jeremy Lin and Jameer Nelson will be tasked with holding down the fort. Both Lin and Boozer find themselves on Roger’s hometown Lakers, so that should add an extra burst of excitement. Roger will also be closely watching Heat games, as Bosh’s numbers are sure to go up with LeBron gone. Plus with his 2015 first round pick, Roger took LBJ replacement Luol Deng. The rest of Buffy’s draft featured George Hill and Kendall Marshall to slot in the backcourt, Bosnian gunner Mirza Teletovic, and O.J. Mayo, hoping to have a bounceback season himself. We wouldn’t be surprised to see Buffy swing back into contention because it’s happened before and as we know, history always repeats itself.
#9: Squirtle Squad (10-9, 12-6)
Brian’s team has four winning seasons in a row but nary a post-season moment to show for it. During their last two playoff appearances, they’ve been bounced by lower ranked teams in the first round. Ouch. This time out, Squirtles isn’t just looking for regular season success, but a post-season run worthy of their dedicated fan base. That fan base won’t have to suffer the on-and-off headaches of former face of the franchise Deron Williams anymore. Williams has been cast aside and replaced by the friendly mug of Giannis Antetokounmpo. While the Greek Freak may not be a fantasy star yet, his time is clearly coming. He’s a new addition to the keeper core, along with Kelly Olynk, who flashed intriguing scoring potential during his rookie year.
Serge Ibaka and Ty Lawson are the vets on this team now, and they have rising forces Bradley Beal and Nikola Vucevic beside them to form a young and upcoming core. In fact, GM Brian seems headed for a rebuild as he drafted young across the board — excepting RD1.11 pick Darren Collison, the Kings’ new starting point guard and RD6.4 semi-retread D.J. Augustin. With the additions of Jordan Hill (the bounty from last year’s Greg Monroe trade), Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Zach LaVine, Noah Vonleh, Otto Porter Jr., and Jusuf Nurkic, Squirtles are rolling the dice on talent before proven production. That worked out great last year with Antetokounmpo, and at least a few of this draft classes' young guys should break out for Squirtles as they restock and push toward true championship contention at the same time.
#11: Half Man Half ImAsian (11-8, 7-10)
Let’s not bury the lead: Half Man Half Im Asian nation is in mourning right now. Reigning NBA MVP Kevin Durant will be out at least a few weeks, if not half a season. Without Durant to power this team, can it survive in the toughest division in SlamNation? Well, LaMarcus Aldridge had a career year last season, as did new keeper Amir Johnson. Mario Chalmers will see an uptick across the board since The King has left his building. And J.J. Redick could replace some of Durant’s shooting, but there’s really nobody to draw opposing defenses’ attention away from Aldridge.
Half Man also didn’t have a first round pick this year, due to the Greg Monroe acquisition from last season. And last year's #1 overall, Ben McLemore, didn't even make the keeper cut. They did pick up new Clippers big man Spencer Hawes, as well as breakout candidate Tim Hardaway Jr., but we think Terrance Ross and Anthony Morrow — both just 3PT bombers basically — might have been different selections had Durant’s injury happened earlier in the draft. Sixth round pick Samuel Dalembert can bring in a few BLK, which could be helpful as Half Man Half Season of No Durant is going to head into the season depending more on its defense than offense, as they bide time waiting for KD’s return.
#16: Silent Crows (13-6, 6-13)
If there’s a better Cinderella story than this one, we don’t know what it is. Sure, we’ve seen worst to first finishes before — in fact it’s a bit of a SlamNation pattern — but as highlighted at the end of last season, Silent Crows’ run through the playoffs was like David slaying multiple Goliaths. What can they do for an encore? Well, their keepers heading into 2015 are way better than it was a year ago. How about Dirk Nowitzki and Jamal Crawford in for Derrick Favors and Jeff Teague? The additions of Dirk Diggler and Crawford supercharged Silent Crows’ offense to championship level. With Ricky Rubio distributing to Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, Nowitzki, and Crawford, this team gave every opponent defensive nightmares — and post-season losses. Keeper Enes Kanter is still awaiting a true breakout year, and maybe it won’t happen, but on this team all he has to do is grab rebounds and keep quiet.
Last year’s draft class returned little to no value for Lucas, with only Nick Young and Jordan Hill contributing, and only 50+ games combined at that. This year’s draft class seems, on paper, to be the perfect lineup for a spirited championship defense. For example, there’s no doubting that first rounder Joe Johnson is still capable of putting up good numbers across the board. Defensive pest Patrick Beverley just doubled his playing time in Houston while Tyson Chandler reunites with Dirk and is the defensive backbone that Kanter isn’t. Wilson Chandler and Danny Green will add shooting on the wing, and if a pinch of rebounding is needed, last overall pick Reggie Evans is on hand. What’s not to like here? Could we be staring at our first repeat champion?!
Header formatting: #2015DraftPickPosition: TeamName (2014SeasonRecord, 2013SeasonRecord)
#3: LA Buffy (5-14, 13-6)
One year after racking up the most wins in the division and getting all the way to the Finals, Buffy found themselves as the only non-playoff team in Transformers after collapsing to only five wins in 2014. The good news is that Buffy tends to bounce back after down seasons. When they hit five wins two years ago, they came back strong with thirteen wins the next season. So, if past performance holds true, Buffy is headed toward a major bounceback season.
Buffy's keeper core switched out Raymond Felton for Tristan Thompson while retaining the front line of Tim Duncan, Chris Bosh, and Carlos Boozer. The point guard situation is still waiting for a star — something they’ve been missing since Baron Davis was good — but for now Jeremy Lin and Jameer Nelson will be tasked with holding down the fort. Both Lin and Boozer find themselves on Roger’s hometown Lakers, so that should add an extra burst of excitement. Roger will also be closely watching Heat games, as Bosh’s numbers are sure to go up with LeBron gone. Plus with his 2015 first round pick, Roger took LBJ replacement Luol Deng. The rest of Buffy’s draft featured George Hill and Kendall Marshall to slot in the backcourt, Bosnian gunner Mirza Teletovic, and O.J. Mayo, hoping to have a bounceback season himself. We wouldn’t be surprised to see Buffy swing back into contention because it’s happened before and as we know, history always repeats itself.
#9: Squirtle Squad (10-9, 12-6)
Brian’s team has four winning seasons in a row but nary a post-season moment to show for it. During their last two playoff appearances, they’ve been bounced by lower ranked teams in the first round. Ouch. This time out, Squirtles isn’t just looking for regular season success, but a post-season run worthy of their dedicated fan base. That fan base won’t have to suffer the on-and-off headaches of former face of the franchise Deron Williams anymore. Williams has been cast aside and replaced by the friendly mug of Giannis Antetokounmpo. While the Greek Freak may not be a fantasy star yet, his time is clearly coming. He’s a new addition to the keeper core, along with Kelly Olynk, who flashed intriguing scoring potential during his rookie year.
Serge Ibaka and Ty Lawson are the vets on this team now, and they have rising forces Bradley Beal and Nikola Vucevic beside them to form a young and upcoming core. In fact, GM Brian seems headed for a rebuild as he drafted young across the board — excepting RD1.11 pick Darren Collison, the Kings’ new starting point guard and RD6.4 semi-retread D.J. Augustin. With the additions of Jordan Hill (the bounty from last year’s Greg Monroe trade), Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Zach LaVine, Noah Vonleh, Otto Porter Jr., and Jusuf Nurkic, Squirtles are rolling the dice on talent before proven production. That worked out great last year with Antetokounmpo, and at least a few of this draft classes' young guys should break out for Squirtles as they restock and push toward true championship contention at the same time.
#11: Half Man Half ImAsian (11-8, 7-10)
Let’s not bury the lead: Half Man Half Im Asian nation is in mourning right now. Reigning NBA MVP Kevin Durant will be out at least a few weeks, if not half a season. Without Durant to power this team, can it survive in the toughest division in SlamNation? Well, LaMarcus Aldridge had a career year last season, as did new keeper Amir Johnson. Mario Chalmers will see an uptick across the board since The King has left his building. And J.J. Redick could replace some of Durant’s shooting, but there’s really nobody to draw opposing defenses’ attention away from Aldridge.
Half Man also didn’t have a first round pick this year, due to the Greg Monroe acquisition from last season. And last year's #1 overall, Ben McLemore, didn't even make the keeper cut. They did pick up new Clippers big man Spencer Hawes, as well as breakout candidate Tim Hardaway Jr., but we think Terrance Ross and Anthony Morrow — both just 3PT bombers basically — might have been different selections had Durant’s injury happened earlier in the draft. Sixth round pick Samuel Dalembert can bring in a few BLK, which could be helpful as Half Man Half Season of No Durant is going to head into the season depending more on its defense than offense, as they bide time waiting for KD’s return.
#16: Silent Crows (13-6, 6-13)
If there’s a better Cinderella story than this one, we don’t know what it is. Sure, we’ve seen worst to first finishes before — in fact it’s a bit of a SlamNation pattern — but as highlighted at the end of last season, Silent Crows’ run through the playoffs was like David slaying multiple Goliaths. What can they do for an encore? Well, their keepers heading into 2015 are way better than it was a year ago. How about Dirk Nowitzki and Jamal Crawford in for Derrick Favors and Jeff Teague? The additions of Dirk Diggler and Crawford supercharged Silent Crows’ offense to championship level. With Ricky Rubio distributing to Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, Nowitzki, and Crawford, this team gave every opponent defensive nightmares — and post-season losses. Keeper Enes Kanter is still awaiting a true breakout year, and maybe it won’t happen, but on this team all he has to do is grab rebounds and keep quiet.
Last year’s draft class returned little to no value for Lucas, with only Nick Young and Jordan Hill contributing, and only 50+ games combined at that. This year’s draft class seems, on paper, to be the perfect lineup for a spirited championship defense. For example, there’s no doubting that first rounder Joe Johnson is still capable of putting up good numbers across the board. Defensive pest Patrick Beverley just doubled his playing time in Houston while Tyson Chandler reunites with Dirk and is the defensive backbone that Kanter isn’t. Wilson Chandler and Danny Green will add shooting on the wing, and if a pinch of rebounding is needed, last overall pick Reggie Evans is on hand. What’s not to like here? Could we be staring at our first repeat champion?!
Chamberlain Conference: Silverhawks Division
Two teams in this division sport 0.756 and 0.605 regular season winning percentages over the past five seasons. The other two teams win at 0.329 and 0.217 clips. And we’re worried about the increasing income disparity in America? How about the win disparity in Silverhawks! [2014 Preview]
#1: Jedi Knights (5-14, 3-14-2)
Here’s where Jedi has picked in all the drafts since we reset the league in 2010: 3, 1, 2, 2, 1. (Of course Jedi haven’t actually picked overall #1 or 2, since they’ve never made a Toilet Bowl finals yet.) We could go on and on about the futility of this team in recent years, but let’s talk about the positives. Absentee owner Lum has re-dedicated himself to his squad and if this story turns out anything like the Cavaliers, there will be an inexplicable happy ending at the end of this bumbling mess. I mean, there’s a lot of talent on this team. Even with literally no management, Jedi managed five wins last season. Their 2014 draft yielded Michael Carter-Williams and Jimmy Butler, two new quality keepers. Center DeAndre Jordan became a fantasy stud while Thaddeus Young and Chandler Parsons are both poised to continue building on their excellent seasons. And there’s always David Lee, chugging along with his nightly double doubles. Dare we say it? We like this team!
It’s a bit odd that GM Lum opted for a broken down Deron Williams at #3 overall in the draft, instead of dipping into a historically deep rookie class, but maybe Williams can finally stay healthy. Aaron Afflalo was a fantasy surprise last season and he should continue his ascent in upon his return to Denver. Sophomore Mason Plumlee is the only big man in Brooklyn capable of staying healthy so he should get lots of minutes. Avery Bradley will likely be pushed into a starting role early, as MCW recovers from injury. The bench will feature Brandan Wright and Boris Diaw, who are both capable of spot starts. For a historically awful team, Jedi has picked up a handful of talent over the years. Now for a management team that will lead them into respectability!
#6: Fob Stars (8-11, 9-9)
Silverhawks’ traditional other punching bag, Fob Stars, can show Jedi exactly how going from zero to “not totally sucking” anymore can be done. After an excruciating one win season in 2012, Fob Stars have put up two very respectable seasons since. They’ll be pushing for their first playoff appearance this year, behind a revamped keeper core. Last year, Fobs were rolling in with the likes of Lou Williams, Dion Waiters, and Gerald Henderson as keepers. Now, after an outstanding 2014 draft, as well as a high value end of the year trade, Fobs will have Kemba Walker and Trey Burke in the backcourt along wth Zach Randolph, Marcin Gortat, and delayed rookie Nerlens Noel. Ryan Anderson’s return to full health could be an issue, but there’s no doubting that Anderson can space the floor perfectly for this group.
And it looks like GM Jimmy knows that what his team needs is an infusion of shooting. Rookie Doug McDermott isn’t nicknamed “McBuckets” for nothing. Also picked up along the way was Kevin Martin and Andrea Bargnani (another part of the Joakim Noah deal) for their shooting prowess. Khris Middleton is an underrated add-on, and he’ll probably get into the rotation. Harrison Barnes hasn’t flashed anything in over a year, and I literally know nothing about Bojan Bogdanovic, except how to carefully Google-spell his name. Sixth rounder Marcus Morris isn't as good as his brother, but he can contribute a 3PT or two. We are excited to see Fob Stars push for a post-season appearance, and even more excited to see how many combined BLK/STL Nerlens Noel can put up. Cheers to a former league doormat for successfully making the turn into competitive alley!
#7: Fat Jubas (9-10, 10-9)
Eric’s team suffered their first losing season after four straight post-season appearances, two division titles, and a championship. Last year at this time, GM Eric went on a trading spree, landing Chris Paul. Well, the price tag came back on those moves and here’s the final cost for that monster acquisition: Marc Gasol, Jeff Teague, and Jabari Parker for CP3, C.J. McCollum last year, and this year’s RD2 which turned out to be Robin Lopez. Hum, was Paul worth that? Let the debates rage!
Regardless, the revamp from a Steve Nash and Kevin Garnett led championship team is complete. Gordon Hayward and Nicolas Batum are the lone holdovers from that 2012 season, and they have CP3 to lead them. Jonas Valanciunas didn’t quite break out last year but he’s again on the verge. New keeper Markieff Morris emerged as a versatile contributor while surprise sixth keeper Danilo Gallinari will bring what he always does to a team: stretch shooting. The draft brought in Isaiah Thomas and Jarrett Jack to round out the backcourt alongside Paul. (The Isaiah of last year would be great, however, Thomas' minutes will be heavily reduced in Phoenix.) Rookie Rodney Hood will more likely back up Hayward, but fellow rookie Nikola Mirotic might carve out some time on a deep Bulls frontcourt. It seems like Jubas is going run-and-gun this year, as they spread the floor with Gallinari and Channing Frye, while letting CP3 find the best wide open options. Can Jubas fend off up-and-coming Fob Stars for another season, or will the price they paid for Paul prove to have been a bit too heavy?
#14: Sour Snails (17-2, 14-5)
What do you get for the team that has far and away the best regular season winning percentage in the league? How about a ward against upsets? Since winning their lone championship in 2010, Snails have been upset by much lower seeds in each successive season -- except for the one year they won the Toilet Bowl. That’s an ugly pattern. Last year saw them lose to eventual champion Silent Crows (then Eron, Joven and Chandler) after a thrilling seventeen win campaign. I almost don’t even want to talk about how stacked Snails on paper. The point guards are Steph Curry, Russell Westbrook, and Monta Ellis. Steph and Westie and Monta!? Who can keep up with these three? Klay Thompson is around to add an overdose of additional 3PT. Rudy Gay replaced Damian Lillard via mid-season trade, while DeMarcus Cousins anchors the front court basically all by himself. Which is pretty much enough, almost. And keep in mind that last year, the Snails had Trevor Ariza and Tyreke Evans on-board too (both have since been traded pre-draft for low end picks). Gross right?
Somehow Trieu saw the need for more 3PT and took Wesley Matthews with his first rounder this year before turning his attention to the frontcourt with Taj Gibson and JaVale McGee. One of these two will need to help Cousins a bit on the boards. Michael Kidd-Gilchrest and his revamped jumper will be coming off the bench, perhaps teaming up with a svelte Anthony Bennett. Rookie Shabazz Napier is even waiting in the wings in case mop up duties are called for, which could be very possible as the Snails run roughshod over the league again while aiming for that elusive second title.
#1: Jedi Knights (5-14, 3-14-2)
Here’s where Jedi has picked in all the drafts since we reset the league in 2010: 3, 1, 2, 2, 1. (Of course Jedi haven’t actually picked overall #1 or 2, since they’ve never made a Toilet Bowl finals yet.) We could go on and on about the futility of this team in recent years, but let’s talk about the positives. Absentee owner Lum has re-dedicated himself to his squad and if this story turns out anything like the Cavaliers, there will be an inexplicable happy ending at the end of this bumbling mess. I mean, there’s a lot of talent on this team. Even with literally no management, Jedi managed five wins last season. Their 2014 draft yielded Michael Carter-Williams and Jimmy Butler, two new quality keepers. Center DeAndre Jordan became a fantasy stud while Thaddeus Young and Chandler Parsons are both poised to continue building on their excellent seasons. And there’s always David Lee, chugging along with his nightly double doubles. Dare we say it? We like this team!
It’s a bit odd that GM Lum opted for a broken down Deron Williams at #3 overall in the draft, instead of dipping into a historically deep rookie class, but maybe Williams can finally stay healthy. Aaron Afflalo was a fantasy surprise last season and he should continue his ascent in upon his return to Denver. Sophomore Mason Plumlee is the only big man in Brooklyn capable of staying healthy so he should get lots of minutes. Avery Bradley will likely be pushed into a starting role early, as MCW recovers from injury. The bench will feature Brandan Wright and Boris Diaw, who are both capable of spot starts. For a historically awful team, Jedi has picked up a handful of talent over the years. Now for a management team that will lead them into respectability!
#6: Fob Stars (8-11, 9-9)
Silverhawks’ traditional other punching bag, Fob Stars, can show Jedi exactly how going from zero to “not totally sucking” anymore can be done. After an excruciating one win season in 2012, Fob Stars have put up two very respectable seasons since. They’ll be pushing for their first playoff appearance this year, behind a revamped keeper core. Last year, Fobs were rolling in with the likes of Lou Williams, Dion Waiters, and Gerald Henderson as keepers. Now, after an outstanding 2014 draft, as well as a high value end of the year trade, Fobs will have Kemba Walker and Trey Burke in the backcourt along wth Zach Randolph, Marcin Gortat, and delayed rookie Nerlens Noel. Ryan Anderson’s return to full health could be an issue, but there’s no doubting that Anderson can space the floor perfectly for this group.
And it looks like GM Jimmy knows that what his team needs is an infusion of shooting. Rookie Doug McDermott isn’t nicknamed “McBuckets” for nothing. Also picked up along the way was Kevin Martin and Andrea Bargnani (another part of the Joakim Noah deal) for their shooting prowess. Khris Middleton is an underrated add-on, and he’ll probably get into the rotation. Harrison Barnes hasn’t flashed anything in over a year, and I literally know nothing about Bojan Bogdanovic, except how to carefully Google-spell his name. Sixth rounder Marcus Morris isn't as good as his brother, but he can contribute a 3PT or two. We are excited to see Fob Stars push for a post-season appearance, and even more excited to see how many combined BLK/STL Nerlens Noel can put up. Cheers to a former league doormat for successfully making the turn into competitive alley!
#7: Fat Jubas (9-10, 10-9)
Eric’s team suffered their first losing season after four straight post-season appearances, two division titles, and a championship. Last year at this time, GM Eric went on a trading spree, landing Chris Paul. Well, the price tag came back on those moves and here’s the final cost for that monster acquisition: Marc Gasol, Jeff Teague, and Jabari Parker for CP3, C.J. McCollum last year, and this year’s RD2 which turned out to be Robin Lopez. Hum, was Paul worth that? Let the debates rage!
Regardless, the revamp from a Steve Nash and Kevin Garnett led championship team is complete. Gordon Hayward and Nicolas Batum are the lone holdovers from that 2012 season, and they have CP3 to lead them. Jonas Valanciunas didn’t quite break out last year but he’s again on the verge. New keeper Markieff Morris emerged as a versatile contributor while surprise sixth keeper Danilo Gallinari will bring what he always does to a team: stretch shooting. The draft brought in Isaiah Thomas and Jarrett Jack to round out the backcourt alongside Paul. (The Isaiah of last year would be great, however, Thomas' minutes will be heavily reduced in Phoenix.) Rookie Rodney Hood will more likely back up Hayward, but fellow rookie Nikola Mirotic might carve out some time on a deep Bulls frontcourt. It seems like Jubas is going run-and-gun this year, as they spread the floor with Gallinari and Channing Frye, while letting CP3 find the best wide open options. Can Jubas fend off up-and-coming Fob Stars for another season, or will the price they paid for Paul prove to have been a bit too heavy?
#14: Sour Snails (17-2, 14-5)
What do you get for the team that has far and away the best regular season winning percentage in the league? How about a ward against upsets? Since winning their lone championship in 2010, Snails have been upset by much lower seeds in each successive season -- except for the one year they won the Toilet Bowl. That’s an ugly pattern. Last year saw them lose to eventual champion Silent Crows (then Eron, Joven and Chandler) after a thrilling seventeen win campaign. I almost don’t even want to talk about how stacked Snails on paper. The point guards are Steph Curry, Russell Westbrook, and Monta Ellis. Steph and Westie and Monta!? Who can keep up with these three? Klay Thompson is around to add an overdose of additional 3PT. Rudy Gay replaced Damian Lillard via mid-season trade, while DeMarcus Cousins anchors the front court basically all by himself. Which is pretty much enough, almost. And keep in mind that last year, the Snails had Trevor Ariza and Tyreke Evans on-board too (both have since been traded pre-draft for low end picks). Gross right?
Somehow Trieu saw the need for more 3PT and took Wesley Matthews with his first rounder this year before turning his attention to the frontcourt with Taj Gibson and JaVale McGee. One of these two will need to help Cousins a bit on the boards. Michael Kidd-Gilchrest and his revamped jumper will be coming off the bench, perhaps teaming up with a svelte Anthony Bennett. Rookie Shabazz Napier is even waiting in the wings in case mop up duties are called for, which could be very possible as the Snails run roughshod over the league again while aiming for that elusive second title.
2015 Schedule
I messed up the 2014 schedule a tad, so someone please spot check me. Otherwise we're good to go with our weighted schedule! Good luck to the last place teams aka me!
Draft Order 2015
2015 DRAFT ORDER
- Jedi Knights (5-14)
- Funk Coalition (5-14)
- LA Buffy (5-14)
- Morrie’s Pogiboys (6-13)
- Inept Henchmen (6-12-1)
- Fob Stars (8-11)
- Fat Jubas (9-10)
- Chunky Monkeys (9-10)
- Squirtle Squad (10-9)
- Fighting Dragons (10-8-1)
- Half Man Half ImAsian (11-8)
- So Buckets (11-8)
- Spade (12-7)
- Sour Snails (17-2)
- NJ All Stars (14-5) *Runner-up
- The Silent Crows (13-6) *Champion
Toilet Bowl runner-up: Fat Jubas
Tie breakers:
- 5-14: Jedi Knights had worst H2H winning % between three teams, and then Funk lost to Buffy in a secondary tie-break using Most Categories won.
- 9-10: Fat Jubas lost H2H versus Chunky Monkeys
- 11-8: Half Man Half ImAsian lost H2H to So Buckets in WK11
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