#1 Sour Snails (19-0) vs Team Spade (15-4)
In two seasons, Snails has gone 36-1-1 during the regular season and is threatening to dominate their way to another title. Check this, the last time Snails lost a game was in late November 2014. (Their tie was in late Jan 2015.) And while things seem like an inevitability right now, GM Trieu has worked hard to construct this almost perfect roster. Each year Trieu tinkers and right now he’s exactly like the Golden State Warriors: breaking records. And minds. Needless to say, their opponent, Russell Conference’s #1 seed Team Spade, has a big uphill battle ahead of them.
For Randall, this will be Spade’s first SlamNation Finals appearance after joining the league three seasons ago. There was concern that Spade would actually become Slam’s dominant team after a stellar dispersal draft. But injuries derailed those aspirations two years in a row. But now, Spade has arrived. And relatively healthy too. Well, Eric Bledsoe is on IR and out for the season, and Kawhi Leonard suffered a missed game already, but for the most part, this is the deepest — and healthiest — Spade has been during the post-season. Rookie Devin Booker has emerged as the leader of the backcourt and he has a rejuvenated Jrue Holiday and waiver wire surprise Ish Smith helping him along the way. The perfectly balanced front court Al Horford, Paul Millsap, and Kevin Love is tough to beat, and if Leonard can play, he’s got the across the board numbers to give Spade the type of team that can beat a strong contender like Death Star 8-1.
Then again, for all of Spade’s amazing team balance and construction, it’s tough to deal with Snails’ backcourt of Stephen Curry, Russell Westbrook, Jimmy Butler, and Klay Thompson. And now they have Hassan Whiteside and Gorgui Dieng monstering it up in the middle, and then there’s Dirk Nowitzki’s shooting to add even more offensive firepower to the mix. dSnails wiped the floor with Fat Jubas in the Chamberlain Conference Finals and if we look at how Snails versus Spade would have fare last week, Trieu’s team would have won 6-3, losing by only a handful each in REB, STL, and TOs. The optimist in us wants to say that Spade has a chance to upset Snails this week, but the realist says that barring injury, Snails is going to repeat.
Then again, the fates wouldn’t let a team go undefeated all the way right? In a sixteen team league that wants to remain competitive? It's hard to say if we want to see history, and a back-to-back champion, crowned. Or if we want to see Spade take out Snails for a major upset. I guess let's see where this matchup goes and celebrate the owner either way as this is our first #1 vs #1 Finals since, well, since ever! We've never had the two best teams face off for the title so this is history in the making already! Good luck to Trieu and Randall!
Toilet Bowl Finals#1 LA Buffy (9-9-1) vs #3 Funk Coalition (6-13)
Last year, Funk Coalition handily took a Toilet Bowl win despite being 3-16 during the regular season and the lowly #4 seed in the Russell Conference. This year, they threaten to win back-to-back Toilet Bowls as the #3 seed. Their opponent, Buffy, almost made the playoffs on the strength of a 0.500 record but was relegated to the losers bracket. Instead they'll be in their second Toilet Bowl finals, but Roger is looking for his first consolation win after his loss six years ago. Buffy should be the favorite heading into this matchup but it’s likely that their big man heavy team may be running into Funk’s giant sized squad at just the wrong time.
Neither Buffy nor Funk can PTS or 3PT much, and it’s possible that last place PTS/3PT Funk could take both categories as they have inexplicably become average-ish at both for the Toilet Bowl run. From there, it’s likely REB and AST will go to Funk while Buffy will have the edge in FG%, FT%, and TOs. That leaves STL and BLK up for debate, and it’ll be a challenge to see if Tristan Thompson, Robin Lopez, Tim Duncan, and Taj Gibson can fend off Karl-Anthony Towns, Andre Drummond, and DeAndre Jordan. Or maybe the battle will revolve around the outside shooting of Marcus Morris, Tobias Harris, and CJ Miles for Funk versus Isaiah Thomas, Khris Middleton, and George Hill for Buffy. Either way, the battle for likely 2017 overall #1 pick Ben Simmons is coming down to a Lakers (fan) versus a Celtics (fan)!
Totally unbiased here... But, go green! Related side note: I am going to be so upset if/when the Lakers get the #1 pick in the lottery. So so upset.
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