Gesundheit!

In a stunning move, winless Jedi Knights have decided to blow up their roster by starting from the very top. Franchise cornerstone Dirk Nowitzki was moved to the Human Amoebas for Andray Blatche and two first round picks. Initial reactions to this deal were not positive, as some pundits questioned the short and long term viability of Mr. Blatche.

After all, in eighteen games this season, Blatche has averaged only 9.8 PTS, 7.2 REB, 1.1 STL. His upside was showcased last April when he averaged 23.6 ppg, 10.3 rpg, 2.1 spg, 1.3 bpg and 50.7 FG%. Of course, that was just Blatche-sanity so it'll be up for debate if he can match those numbers again. The make or break part of this deal will be what GM Chris does with those two first rounders -- one in 2013, one in 2014

Currently, Nowitzki is averaging 19.7 PTS, 6.9 REB, 1.1 3PT, 0.9 STL while barely rounding into form. Even at 33 years old, the Storming German should have another few good years left. Blatche is seven years younger than Nowitzki but will he ever achieve similar heights?

This bold move allows Eric-A to trot out a dangerous shooter (and a champion) alongside Derrick Rose, Monta Ellis, Eric Gordon, Paul Millsap, and DeMarcus Cousins. If he can sneak into the playoffs, his team could make quite the spirited championship defense. On the other side, the Jedi Knights will now have Blatche, David Lee, Nene, OJ Mayo, and um, Jared Dudley? It could be a long uphill battle for this team to get a few wins, unless the draft next year brings in a huge haul. With the fewest moves done this season (seven), we'd suggest the Knights' scouts start hitting the waiver wire hard and maybe invest in a good cheerleader team.

Playoff Race '12

You all realize there's only four weeks to go in the regular season right? With All Star break around the corner, it's shocking but our NBA fantasy time is way past the midway point. What you say? You haven't made enough trades or moves yet (I'm talking to you Chris and Steve, with your paltry single digit moves)? Let's take a quick look at each division and the potential playoff picture.

(Chamberlain Conference) Transformers
We're gonna go ahead and say that Brian's Squirtle Squad has this division locked down. Sure he's not mathematically the winner yet but his team is deep and loaded -- and hasn't lost since WK2. Ty Lawson and Greg Monroe have emerged, Serge Ibaka is a shot blocking machine, and then there's Deron Williams, Blake Griffin, Joe Johnson, and the still relevant Al Harrington. Oh right, Squirtle also scooped up Linsanity. Both Steve and Oliver's teams are 5-3, just two games behind, but they are really racing against each other for the wild card spots. They have a two game lead on the Sour Snails in the Silverhawks division, so there's a decent chance they'll both get in.

Oliver's Half Man Half ImAsian has suffered through a ton of injuries -- Andrew Bogut and Anderson Varejao -- and has been hampered by the lack of frontcourt depth. However, Kevin Durant is a machine, LaMarus Aldridge is who we thought he was, and they might be able to pull the rest of the team together for a postseason run. As for Steve's 2005 All-Star Team, it's entirely the Dwight Howard show. They are ranked average or below average in every category except BLK, yet have a winning record. The pre-draft trade for Ricky Rubio was inspired but Jason Kidd is barely fantasy relevant now, Manu Ginobili has played nine games total, and the second best player on this team is Antawn Jamison. Dwight needs to demand a trade!

Last year's division winner, Buffy, is mostly out of the playoff picture. Unless he can somehow run the table, Roger will be making an appearance in the Toilet Bowl.

(Chamberlain Conference) Silverhawks
What a pathetic showing by nearly every team in this division. The two teams at the bottom, Fob Stars and Jedi Knights, have combined for one win. Yes, one win. And Jimmy's one win was at Chris' expense. If the Jedi Knights can't pull off a win during these next four weeks, we demand their name be changed to Jar Jar Binks for all of next season.

After two years of appearing in the SlamNation Finals, it looks like Trieu is in for the fight of his fantasy life as he'll have to make up a lot of ground to return to the playoffs. Led by the inestimable Kevin Love, the Sour Snails have a few nice pieces -- including Josh Smith and the currently injured Danilo Gallinari -- but with Stephen Curry only rounding into form now, it may be too little too late. We'd like to petition for Kevin Love to be traded to Funk Coalition, as his REB are a tad wasted on a semi-small ball team. Talk to my people Trieu!

With a 5-3 record and a two game lead, the Fat Jubas will likely repeat as division champs. Barring a total collapse, the old school crew of Steve Nash, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett will make one more run. Having Marcin Gortat emerge has been key, as Brook Lopez has played 22 mins this season. We are looking at a transition coming for this team soon, but for now they still have the smarts and savvy to win out in this suddenly uncompetitive division.

(Russell Conference) Voltron
Last year Alvin's team was 5-14, bottoming out after a 7-11 season before. Lo and behold, eight weeks in and he's leading the division with a sterling 6-2 record and a two game lead on his competition. After a historic 0-9 loss to start off the season, the Pogiboys have almost run the table excepting a close 4-5 loss to 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps. Behind Brandon Jennings, Roy Hibbert, Mike Conley, Marcus Thornton, and even an underwhelming Amare Stoudemire, Alvin has assembled a no-name big game type of team. We'd offer them a hearty congrats for their division win but we don't want to jinx them.

Defending champion Human Amoebas are gonna have a hard time getting back into the post-season. Losing Eric Gordon for most of this year has been tough. And Derrick Rose's constant injury woes have really curtailed this team's success. Yes this is still a high flying, high scoring bunch, but Monta Ellis, DeMarcus Cousins, and Paul Millsap can only take them so far. If Rose and Gordon can get into proper shape, Eric-A's team has a chance, but that's a big "if."

Also 4-4, Slam'N Dragon has an outside shot at the playoffs too but it's unlikely. This team would be quite scary however, as they are rounding into playoff shape with free agent sensation Nikola Pekovic added to the hefty front line of Andrew Bynum and Tyson Chandler. With Dwayne Wade, John Wall, Paul Pierce, and Rudy Gay handing the scoring, Thien's got a great shot at winning the Toilet Bowl (again) if they don't make the post-season.

So Buckets got their first win last week versus the Fobsters. Whew, a no win season is off the table! Time to focus on getting a good pick next year.

(Russell Conference) Thundercats
It's a three way tie at the top! Excepting the pathetic Funk Coalition, every team in this division could make the playoffs. The Chunky Monkeys, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps, and NJ All-Stars are all 6-2 and these next four weeks could be huge. Although whoever wins the division could be joined by the other two anyway, as they all currently hold a two game lead for the two conference wild card spots.

We'd like to think of this Thundercats battle as mirroring the real MVP race. Kobe Bryant is carrying the Heffalumpswith huge numbers and a never say die attitude. The loss of Al Horford hurt but Jose is always great at plugging in the holes and soldiering on. Evan's Chunky Monkeys features Chris Paul in a small ball attack and it's been a hard combo for other teams to beat. They are ranked in the top three in all the categories they need to be, except PTS, which means they are vulnerable to teams that can outscore them. If Andre Bargnani and his 23.5 PTS can return, that would help solidify the Monkeys into true contenders.

Eddie's NJ All-Stars have lost to each of their division tying foes once, which could factor if there's a tie-breaker involved. The good news is that his team is led by LeBron James and a host of other wonderful pieces. Kyle Lowry is a standout point guard, Ryan Anderson is a rich man's Steve Novak, and Jose Calderon, Luol Deng, and Paul George are big contributors. The Jersey boys are by far the deepest team in this division and our odds on favorite to surge toward a division win.

Better Luck Tomorrow

Just Keep Losing

Let's take a look at a group of teams that have yet to win a game. Really? Four weeks in and no wins? Ouch. Interestingly, these four teams reside in just two of the divisions. As usual, the ultra-competitive Transformers division has every team above .500 and the Thundercats got their worst team out of the winless column last week. Here's a quick look at our worst teams so far this young season.

Jedi Knights (0-4)
It's been an ugly start of the season for this decrepit franchise. They are ranked 14th in 3PT, REB, STL, second-to-last in PTS, and last in AST and BLK (not to mention moves made). Their one bright spot? Turnovers, where they are ranked first in the league. All the promise from last year's roster has mostly been swept aside as players like Dorell Wright, Jared Dudley, and OJ Mayo have way underachieved. Perhaps a new arena deal and move is necessary?

Dirk Nowitzki is averaging only 5.4 REB per game, Nene is at only 13.4 PTS, and while there are some promising pieces, it all adds up to a whole lot of nothing. David Lee is back to his double double game and Wesley Matthews has built upon his breakout season. Other than that though, it's looking pretty bleak out there for a Jedi Knight. We think it's time for a focused rebuild, with Dirk being dangled for a brighter future.

Fob Stars (0-4)
While the Fobbies have faced a tough schedule early on -- opponents are 12-4 on the season -- there is still enough to cause concern for their ownership group. For one, they don't have a single player averaging more than 16 PPG. That's fine but there's also a whole lot of key players averaging less than double digits. In fact, the entire front line of Chris Kaman, Joakim Noah, and Emeka Okafor are under 10.0 PPG. Those three aren't rebounding that well either, as not one of them is over double digit rebounds -- which is not what Noah was brought in here for. Of course, the huge injury to Zach Randolph hurt, but Jimmy needs more from his big men.

Some bright spots include Chauncey Billups' 2.3 3PT, Nick Young's 16 PPG, and DJ Augustin's 6.6 AST. The return of Michael Beasley will be much appreciated and high hopes still rest on Evan Turner's all around game. Overall the team ranks last in FG% and STL, is weak in FT%, 3PT, REB, and is ranked 14th in AST and PTS. They are only above average in BLK and TO. We recommend waiting for some of these players to turn the corner and then maybe pursue a trade or two.

So Buckets (0-4)
While their expansion partner NJ All-Stars has zoomed out to a winning record, Josh's team has suffered the indignity of waiting for their first win. Facing off their first three weeks against teams that were a combined 10-2 wasn't helping matters either. A win last week against winless Funk Coalition would have been a nice moral boost but that didn't happen. Right now the So Buckets are looking forward to a big WK6 matchup against NJ All-Stars and then two games against other winless teams to right their season.

Statistically, this team has been average in most of the stat categories, shading stronger in FG% and TO, while being weak in FT% and BLK. Before the season, we loved this roster and there's still a lot to like, but when rookie Kyrie Irving is leading this team in scoring, it's more Cleveland Cavaliers than winning franchise. Pau Gasol should be at more than 15.8 PTS, David West has been really bad at 11.8 PTS, while Andre Igoudala and Gerald Wallace are still contributing across the board, but they are only combining for 27.4 PPG. It's too early to make too many moves here, but there might need to be a shakeup to get this roster a winning team that eschews PTS but does all of the little things.

Slam N' Dragon (0-4)
What a fall to the bottom of the standings for Thien's team. They almost won their first game of the season but since then have won fewer and fewer categories each subsequent matchup. Ovearll they are bad at FG% and turnovers, weak in PTS, and dead last in 3PT. They aren't too shabby in REB and are strong in BLK (Wade and Wall average 2.7 BLK combined) but there's not too many other high points here.

John Wall and Jordan Crawford are doing their best to sink the FG% category, and Wall has been a TO machine. Still, Wall is having a good sophomore season and he's going to be a fantasy gem for years to come. Rudy Gay has returned to the court with 18.9 PTS (but strangely, only 0.6 3PT) and Andrew Bynum is a beast down low. With Paul Pierce and Dwayne Wade rounding into shape and returning from injury, the Dragon has slumbered for awhile but is getting ready to rise up just after the Lunar New Year. The question is with this short regular season, is there enough time to catch up?

Smooth Moves

With the owners jockeying to take advantage of the short season, trades have been abundant in this young SlamNation season. Last week, old friends Eric-L of the Fat Jubas and Evanof the Chunky Monkeys put together a small deal aimed at shoring up category needs.

The Monkeys shipped off DeMar DeRozan for 3 point shooter Aaron Afflalo and the versatile Austin Daye. Derozan will give Eric some much needed youth and should provides high volume scoring. For the Monkeys, the key to this deal was Afflalo and his long range capability as well as his defensive prowess. Austin Daye was seen somewhat as a project though his recent slate of starts have thrusted him into the Monkeys lineup.

According to the Monkeys' GM, Evan, "It was tough to give up DeMar - the kid was the most athletic guy we had in our lineup. I wish him all the luck with his new team. We're very happy to have Afflalo and Austin on our squad though. Aaron will be an immediate starter and we'll look for him to be that spot up shooter we're always looking for. Austin is the sleeper of this transaction. We love his upside, his versatility to play that PF position and his ability to hit the 3. We'll need coach to find him more minutes but we're looking forward to seeing him in more and more games."