2011 Championship: Bed of Roses

The biggest upset of the century has occurred! A wild card team has toppled the mighty Sour Snails, and mostly in uncontested fashion. The Amoebas handily took PTS, REB, STL, and FG%, and secured 3PT and BLK by enough to insure a victory by mid day Sunday. The parade route was already getting lined up and all of Michigan was gearing up for a celebration. Rumors had it that Owner/GM/Coach Eric-A fainted for a few moments as he realized that the victory was imminent. And it's been revealed by sources close to Eric that he's never won a fantasy championship in thirteen years of play, since 1998, so this is even more special of an accomplishment!

As for the dethroned defending champs, the Sour Snails were fighting injuries all post-season and their wagon fell entirely apart by the end. With basically all of their top guys injured or straight out missing games -- Kevin Love, Stephen Jackson, Danilo Gallinari, Stephen Curry, and eventually Josh Smith -- Trieu put up a valiant fight but really didn't have the horses for this matchup. This was like Lakers - Pistons in the 1980's when a few key injuries determined the winner. Although maybe a full roster wouldn't have helped the Snails against the power of an one celled organism.

Looking a little closer at the performance, we have to give the MVP to point guard Derrick Rose, who was simply outstanding all season long, and especially these last few weeks. He put up 25.0 PTS, 5.0 AST, 1.5 3PT, and stellar percentages for championship week. His young backcourt mate, Eric Gordon, chipped in ten steals even as his shooting was a bit off. The other key to winning the crucial steals battle was big men Andray Blatche and Paul Millsap combining for fourteen steals this week. Fourteen! Looking over the stat sheet, this was a huge team effort as everyone player contributed a steal, seven recorded at least a block, and four players were in double digit assists.

The Amoebas were 3-15 in 2010 and were being compared to door mats coming into the season. There was room for lots of growth but nobody expected the season they eventually had. After stumbling out of the gate with three straight losses, Eric-A's team managed a five game winning streak mid-season to show signs of righting the ship. However, another three game losing streak had them mainly treading water and they slipped into the playoffs with only nine wins (against ten losses). The Amoebas were first or close to first in PTS, 3PT, and STL, but were below average in most of the other areas. They were also dead last in TO for the season. Proving that activity isn't always the key to success, GM Eric-A used only six roster moves all season long.

However, they had a solid eight man rotation all season long, with Rose, Ellis, Millsap, Cousins, Gordon, Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, and Channing Frye doing most of the in-season damage. Ty Lawson and George Hill came in off the bench for a key games (as did Ersan Ilyasova and Anthony Morrow) and made the most of their minutes. Rose averaged 25.1 PTS, 7.8 AST, 4.1 REB, 1.6 3PT, and 1.1 STL for the season. Monta Ellis played one more game than Rose and averaged 24.1 PTS, 5.6 AST, 1.7 3PT, and 2.1 STL. Shooting guard Eric Gordon only played in a little more than half the games but he added additional scoring and outside shooting.

The real post-season star was Andray Blatche, who notched 23.9 PTS, 11.6 REB, 2.4 STL and almost a block per game over his last month of games. Add in similar numbers by Millsap and rookie DeMarcus Cousins (around 15 PTS, 8 REB, 2.5 AST, 1 STL/BLK for both) and this quickly became the team to beat. Their post-season run included victories over an eleven win team, a fifteen win team, and finally a fourteen win team.

Going forward, we have to say that the Amoebas are set up for a fierce title defense. As the youngest team in the league, they have definitely won a championship ahead of schedule and have a beautiful core to continue their winning ways. Congrats to Eric-A and the Amoebas for a fantastic finish to an exciting season!

2011 Toilet Bowl: Bombs Away

We can't quite figure out how Pierre does it, but despite making no moves all season, probably never really looking at his team, and playing five games less than his opponent during the final week, his Bayside Bombardiers are the Toilet Bowl winers! Sweeping through the Toilet Bowl while barely breaking a sweat, Pierre's team was led by Pau Gasol, who had four games of 17.8 PTS, 7.3 REB, and not much else. Luis Scola and Samuel Dalembert both averaged double doubles during Toilet Bowl week, and Jameer Nelson and Jamal Crawford helped manage the attack with their outside shooting and passing. The real key to victory may have been little Kyle Lowry, who averaged 11.5 PTS, 7.5 AST, and 2.0 3PT over his final few games to key the Toilet Bowl win.

Oh I guess Pierre did make a few adjustments as David West was taken out of the lineup. Still, Pierre played only seven guys for the week, as Leandro Barbosa missed all his games (while a healthy Mo Williams sat on the bench), and Luis Scola and Kyle Lowry were both banged up too. Maybe Luol Deng in for Charlie Villanueva would have been the right move but we can't question Coach Pierre as he has piloted his team to victory. Missing the post-season by just one win this year, Bayside should return to their winning ways with a top pick to being the next season. In 2010 they were the Voltron division winners and could easily compete for that title again in 2012.

The Fob Stars did secure a second overall pick but you'd think his team filled with luminaries such as Chris Bosh, Zach Randolph, and DJ Augustin could have beat out Bayside. Heck Shawn Marion averaged 17.3 PTS and 10.3 REB the whole week! Instead Jimmy will have to settle for being a runner up this year and get his scouting department on the job. Coming off a 4-13-1 season in 2010, this year's success ain't too bad but it sure would have been nice to secure a very winneable first selection. Actually they could have lost by a lot more too, as they barely won 3PT and PTS as it was, despite playing almost 25% more games than Pierre's team. I guess Bayside was just destined to win the Toilet Bowl this year!

Championship Preview: The Wizarding Hour

#3 Human Amoebas (9-10) vs #3 Sour Snails (14-5)
Led by Derrick Rose, the Human Amoebas are streaking toward history. Already taking down two top seeds on the way to this championship round, Eric-A's young team may be a winner one year ahead of schedule. The fans in Amoeba-ville are swooning with pride and dizzy with the sudden heights they've attained. Although they are facing off against the defending champs, the argument could be made that this underdog is the favorite for the upcoming week.

Rose, Monta Ellis, and Eric Gordon anchor a superb backcourt that provides PTS, AST, 3PT, and STL in bunches. They'll need all three to be in top form in order to topple the small ball oriented Sour Snails. Given the apparent lack of size on the Snails' roster, you'd think they'd get wiped out on the boards but they are actually very competitive there with Josh Smith, Kevin Love, and secret weapon Chuck Hayes (who's been averaging double digit rebounds over the past two weeks). To counter that, Eric-A will have Paul Millsap, DeMarcus Cousins, and the astonishing Andray Blatche, who has been simply oustanding since returning from injury last Friday. In three games, Blatche is averaging 25.0 PTS, 14.7 REB, and 2.3 STL. What is going on in Washington these days?

I mean, on the Snails side of things, Wizards' rookie guard Jordan Crawford is throwing up triple doubles and coming off a huge week of 27.0 PTS, 5.8 REB, 5.0 AST, 2.3 3PT, and 1.5 STL. Trieu had better hope that the other Wizards rookie guard, the one named Wall, sits on the pine for a little while longer so Crawford gets his minutes. The Snails desperately need him to get play because this young man has been the sole Snail to average over 20+ PPG recently and the Sour ones need some serious firepower to compete against the Amoebas. Crawford's backcourt mates, Stephen Curry and Stephen Jackson both need to have huge weeks. Jackson is nursing an injury -- as is Kevin Love -- but he'll hopefully return to make this Finals matchup a battle that's decided on the court and not on the basis of who's hurt.

Other player matchups include Ty Lawson and George Hill running guard duty for Eric-A's team, while Channing Frye bombs from outside the arc. Neither of these teams have much at the small forward positon, as it's Anthony Morrow for the Amoebas and Paul George for the Snails. Trieu will also be trotting out Darren Collison, Tracy McGrady, Rip Hamilton, and Danilo Gallinari.

Last year's Finals had a similar story: two mainly small ball teams facing off against each other. Exactly twelve months ago, Evan's Chunky Monkeys clawed their way past top seeds and into the last round, despite a middling regular season record. The difference though was that they were mostly out of gas by the end of the playoffs. The 2011 Human Amoebas look like they could go another few rounds on Rose power alone. Of course, it's hard not to look at these matchups and wonder about the impact Lebron James might have made on the festivities. If the Snails lose, will LBJ have been the difference? Or will they repeat even after dealing the number overall pick? This is a matchup for the ages with intrigue and plot points galore, it's more than worthy of our second Slam Nation Finals!

Everyone set your DVRs for the Wizards games!

And in the Toilet Bowl, it's Fob Stars (6-13) versus Bayside Bombardiers (8-11). Both owners were on vacation last weekend and yet somehow still managed to win. I hate fantasy.

Playoffs: Conference Finals (and Toilet Bowl)

As predicted, the first round of the playoffs was full of upsets. The only higher seed to advance to the next round was the number one ranked team in the Russell Conference, 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps. Slam N Dragon, Fat Jubas, and LA Buffy all got toppled by "lesser" teams. The 5-3-1 loss by Fat Jubas was especially difficult as they had a stellar regular season and were seen as the early favorites. The margin of victory would have been even greater possibly, as the Jubas only managed to squeak out a win in REB and PTS by one each. Stunningly, Jubas and Oliver's Half Man Half ImAsian tied in FT%. Is that crazy or what? Let's take a quick look at the semi-final matchups.

Russell Conference
#1 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4) vs #3 Human Amoebas (9-10)
After dispatching Slam N Dragon with relative ease, Eric-A's Amoebas face off against a much tougher opponent this time out. Prior to last week, Coach Jose of Heffalumps had said that he was afraid of the surging Funk Coalition and Human Amoebas. Now he'll be facing them back to back. With Kobe Bryant literally dragging his team long, Jose's team will really have to step up their game to compete against Eric-A's backcourt combination of Derrick Rose, Monta Ellis, and Eric Gordon. It looks like this matchup could come down to the big men down low, and which team can get a role player or two to step up. The Amoebas are pretty much locks to win 3PT and AST, and are capable in their other categories. If we're looking at a future huge upset, this could be the matchup that is all sorts of wrong for the highest seed left in the playoffs. Can Kobe defend himself against the onslaught of the Amoebas' young studs? We think it'll come down to a frontcourt battle to determine the victor.

Chamberlain Conference
#3 Sour Snails (14-5) vs #4 Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)
Despite a horrid tail end of the regular season, Oliver's Half Men picked up their game at just the right moment. JaVale McGee is cleaning up the boards to the tune of 15.3 REB per game and adding 18.5 PTS and 3.0 BLK to boot. He could individually cancel out the Snails' Kevin Love -- well especially since Love is injured. All the big men categories are probably going to swing Half Man Half ImAsian's way if Love remains out so it'll be interesting to see if Kevin Durant can put up enough points to cancel out Trieu's crew of bombers. With Steph Curry leading the way, the Sour Snails will need to keep their hands up on defense and swipe a lot of balls to win what will be a very close semi-finals matchup. Can Trieu advance to the Finals and get a chance to defend his crown? We're thinking he can, but Oliver might have something else to say about that. This is going to be quite a week for both teams.

TOILET BOWL
Russell Conference
#5 Bayside Bombardiers (8-11) vs #6 Chunky Monkeys (6-13)
No big surprises here, as both higher ranked teams took care of business and defeated Nande ReBuRonSAN and MoRRie's Pogiboys, respectively. It just goes to show you that having random capital letters in your team name is no path to success. Both Pierre and Evan's teams could use an infusion of young talent to make them playoff contenders next year. I mean, for the Monkeys, power forward JJ Hickson was their highest scoring player last week. That's not good. Or "no bueno" as the Spanish say. For the Bombardiers, Pau Gasol is a man on fire, averaging 24.5 PTS, 12.0 REB, and 2.0 BLK last week. We're predicting an easy win for the Bombardiers -- who made it through the entire season not making one move.

Chamberlain Conference
#5 Squirtle Squad (11-8) vs #7 Fob Stars (6-13)
The Fobby Ones took out Steve's 2005 All Star Team behind Zach Randolph and Chris Bosh's fine weeks. The Squirtles barely squeaked by Jedi Knights, winning off a H2H tie breaker. If Jimmy can pull off another upset, their season will be half way redeemed with a top two pick. But he'll have to get by Quake Griffin (25.7 PTS, 13.0 REB, 1.3 STL over his last three) and the rest of the Squirtle Squad first.

Playoff Preview RD1

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Fat Jubas (15-4) vs #4 Half Man Half ImAsian (12-7)
After starting off 9-1, the Fat Jubas have hardly slowed down and are 6-2 during the past two months. The thing is, Half Man Half ImAsian were undefeated through their first eight weeks and established themselves as contenders immediately. Of course, with five losses in their last six weeks, Oliver's team might be fading at just the wrong time. Kevin Durant and LaMarcus Aldridge are going to have to carry this team and get help from more than just JaVale McGee (12.1 PTS, 9.0 REB, 4 BLK over last seven games) to take out Jubas' super vet trio of Steve Nash, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett.

#2 LA Buffy (13-6) vs #3 Sour Snails (14-5)
After fending off three other teams in the very competitive Transformers division, Buffy has secured home court advantage for this round despite having lost one more game than defending champion Sour Snails. There's a bit of concern here as Roger's team has only one win over the past month while Trieu has been virtually undefeated since the calendar flipped (and post-Lebron James), winning ten of their last eleven. Their only loss was versus division winner Fat Jubas, in the last week of the regular season.

Buffy has a strong inside game but nobody is fully stepping up to the plate, unless late season find Toney Douglas (15.8 PTS, 6.8 AST, 3.4 3PT over last nine games) is going to spearhead an upset. The Snails will rely on their small ball plus Kevin Love formula to run and gun on step one of their title defense.

Russell Conference
#1 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (15-4) vs #4 Funk Coalition (9-10)
The surging Funk Coalition won five of their last six games to squeak into the playoffs. However, division leader 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps have won seven of their last eight matchups. The kicker though, was that their only loss was to the resurgent Funk in WK18. We could be primed for a big upset here, or just business as usual as the Heffalumps take their game up to post-season heights.

Kobe Bryant is going to do his damnest to make sure that the Heffalumps don't lose, but a slumping Rajon Rondo needs to step up his game as the AST and STL categories could be crucial this week. As for the Funk, they are peaking right now and even with Tyreke Evans out, this team is putting up huge numbers across the board, especially free agent find Tyler Hansbrough (22.4 PTS, 7.8 REB, 1.6 STL over last seven games).

#2 Slam N Dragon (11-8) vs #3 Human Amoebas (9-10)
Last year's winner of the Toilet Bowl, Slam N Dragons, are entering the playoffs as a division winner but are definitely stumbling over the past few weeks as they've lost four of their last five. Eric-A's Amoebas have had an up and down season with five straight wins followed by three losses and then a .500 record over the last month of the regular season.

The root cause of Thien's rough back half of the season has been that fact that nobody has really been helping take the pressure off Dwayne Wade. A healthy John Wall has been crucial (19.6 PTS, 7.0 AST, 6.7 REB, 2.3 STL) but nobody else is averaging more than fourteen points a game over the past two weeks. Andrew Bynum being out a game or two won't help matters either. Led to Derrick Rose and Monta Ellis, the Amoebas also have Eric Gordon back in the lineup and could easily romp ther way to an upset if Paul Millsap and DeMarcus Cousins step up a little.