Round 1 Results: East

Squirtle Squad (14-6) vs Human Amoebas (9-11)
The repeat East champion Squirtle Squad is poised to have great post-season run. While the East seemed to be full of great teams mid-season, by the end, a few squads had faded. Don't count the Squad among them. Suffering from very little injury strife, the Squad has been the model of consistency this year. Deron Williams (19 PTS, 10.5 AST, 1 STL/3PT) has emerged as a fantasy star and along with his front court mate Carlos Boozer (22 PTS, 11 REB, 1.3 STL), have been the cornerstone for this team. Boston teammates Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen have both declined statistically but are still premium players. While JR Smith, Francisco Garcia, Boris Diaw, Ryan Gomes, David Lee, and Rasho Nesterovic don't necessarily get the fans screaming, they ably fill up the box scores. The big question is if sophmore sensation Brandon Roy can get back on the court in time to help the Squad to a championship.

The Amoebas sure are mercurial aren't they? The front line duo of Amare Stoudemire (25 PTS, 9 REB, 2.2 BLK) and Dirk Nowitzki provide a solid foundation for success but this team seems a bit short in every area. Rip Hamilton, Marvin Williams, and Zach Randolph add scoring, but not quite enough to make the Amoebas a scoring powerhouse. Jason Kidd is still an AST master but there's not another player on the roster who dishes even half of what he does. Raja Bell and Boobie Gibson average over two 3PT a game, but half the roster doesn't average any. With the late season injuries to Dirk and Ben Wallace, the Amoebas' hopes were sunk and it's possible that they need a more cohesive game plan for next season.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (12-7-1) vs The Poobic Heirs (12-8)
While it's tough to call this a huge upset with the swell season the Pogiboys are having, it was a huge upset. I mean, the defending champs falling to last year's league doormat? That's huge right? The Pogiboys made short work of the Poobic Heirs, 6-3, and really just outhustled them in all the little categories (AST, STL, BLK, TO, FG%, FT%).

With the MVP season by Chris Paul (22 PTS, 11 AST, 2.7 STL) -- and yes, he should be the MVP -- the Pogiboys bounced into this season with a new outlook on life. Rookie Al Horford contributed nearly a double double and Chris Kaman and Andrew Bynum both broke out. And let's not forget about Rudy Gay, who upped his game to new heights (20 PTS, 6 REB, 1.7 3PT). While Tyrus Thomas, Jason Maxiell, Darko Milicic, Joakim Noah, and Ronny Turiaf all suffer from the erratic syndrome, Chauncey Billups and Gerald Wallace supported Paul in the best ways possible by providing additional scoring, steals, and assists. Add in under the radar contributions by Derek Fisher, Steve Blake, and Louis Williams and the question is: how far can this finely tuned squad go?

We might be thanking our collective stars and garters that the Olympics are in Beijing this summer. Otherwise, Yao Ming might have suited up and Oliver would still be in contention for a repeat. Put it this way. Devin Harris (16 PTS, 7 AST) and Monta Ellis (20-4-4) are now solidly main men in both their camps. Caron Butler and Kevin Martin are top tier options. Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant. Forget the fact that Rasheed and especially Kirk Hinrich slipped this season, the Heirs are scary. If they didn't have such a big hole in the front court (Brendan Haywood, Nazr Mohammed, Samuel Dalembert) late in the season, would the Heirs really have gone out so early? Here's a scary thought. Next year, this team gets a healthy Yao back, plus Greg Oden. Yowza.

Toilet Bowl
100AcrePoohBears (8-12) vs Jedi Knights (3-16-1)
The Pooh Bears almost made the playoffs but a three game swoon at the end put them out of the running. That's probably a good thing though, because the Bears might need another big draft. The proud owner of Mike Bibby, Shawn Marion, and Pau Gasol, the Bears had to deal with three in-season mega-trades. In each one, it seemed like they lost out statistically While Andre Miller (17 PTS, 7 AST, 1.3 STL) is having a quietly stellar season, everyone else on this roster has been playing worse than last year. Ben Gordon, Chris Wilcox, Andrei Kirilenko, Peja Stojakovic, Tayshaun Prince, and Josh Childress all did better last year. Rookie Jeff Green showed promise but that's on the court, not necessarily in the boxscore. Injuries have ravaged them near the end of the season (Marion, Wilcox, Gasol) but they still mustered enough to take out the Jedi Knights.

Well, it's hard to call the Jedi Knights inaugural season a success. On one hand, they stepped into the breach when the previous owner left but on the other hand, their record fell to a league low -- with nine straight losses to close out the season. THe good news is that, well, um, Dwight Howard (21 PTS, 14 REB, 2.3 BLK) is a man child? Other than that, this was definitely a backwards season for everyone else involved. Luol Deng, Mike Miller, and Chris Bosh all regressed a bit. Brad Miller, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Emeka Okafor were double double machines and provided some nice complements to Dwight, but the rest of the roster was hit or miss. Grant Hill stayed healthy in the Valley of the Sun but he's hardly a star anymore. The Knights have some big men assets but they have to carefully build a team that can truly take advantage of those strengths.