Power Rankings

Our very first power rankings. There are a lot of teams doing poorly with only a handful of good teams. Hey, just like the real NBA! Time for trades?
-- I noted the divisions so that we could get an idea of how each one is doing (SH = Silverhawks, TC = Thundercats, etc).

1. Sour Snails (11-0, SH) - Eleven wins in a row, seven games up in their division. The Snails are dominating this regular season like the 95-96 Bulls. Is it time to rest the starters?
2. Nande? ReBuRonSAN (9-2, TC) - Eight wins in a row and hot to trot. Losing Arenas will hurt but how much? The most active owner in the game will keep the team focused on the big picture.
3. Golden Dragon (7-4, VT) - An impressive six wins in a row, with an outstanding front line pulling the weight. Everyone is healthy, clicking, and playing well.
4. Bayside Bombardiers (8-3, VT) - Four wins in a row but the loss of Mo Williams hurts just a tiny bit. Sixth man of the year candidate Jamal Crawford has been terrific.
5. Half Man Half ImAsian (6-5, TF) - With three straight wins and hot on the heels of Korea! for the division lead, Kevin Durant is pushing this team toward a playoff spot.
6. Korea! Korea! (8-3, TF) - With three losses in their last four games, and their one win by a fraction of a FG%, is Korea in trouble? I'd say "yes." Rush back Yao!
   
7. Chunky Monkeys (5-6, TC) - Picked on the dregs of the league for four straight wins. Moving Monta Ellis for Danny Granger really shook things up and we see exciting weeks ahead.
8. 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (6-5, TC) - Recent dip in standings is curious as everyone was basically playing the same. With Kevin Martin back on board, look for the ship to steady.
9. Squirtle Squad (5-6, TF) - Three wins to start the season, three straight losses, and another three loss streak after that. This is the ultimate hot and cold team. No Blake Griffin this year hurts doesn't it?
10. Fob Stars (4-7, SH) - After starting off 2-5, the Fobs have been marginally better of late. Zach Randolph has been an absolute beast. Only two games out of wildcard contention gives them a sense of purpose.
11. Buffy (5-6, TF) - Three losses in a row and Michael Redd out for the season. Carlos Boozer is iffy now too, and this team is headed in the wrong direction.
12. Fat Jubas (4-7, SH) - In a state of collapse with four losses in their last five games. Steve Nash and Brook Lopez can't do it all and they've had no support.
13. Jedi Knights (3-7-1, SH) - No losses in their first three weeks and then 1-7 afterwards. Ouch. Hey, at least David Lee is an All-Star! Oh wait. Maybe making a waiver wire pickup might help? Zero so far on the season.
14. MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-9, VT) - A four and five game losing streak so far this season. They've faced four top teams in a row though so we'll cut them some slack.
15. Funk Coalition (2-8-1, TC) - A six game losing streak finally ended two weeks ago. Tony Parker just went down for a few. Is another losing streak about to start?
16. Human Amoebas (2-9, VT) - Seven losses in a row and not a close game in the bunch. They needed to make moves and did, acquiring Monta Ellis for Danny Granger, who had been hurt for weeks. There's nowhere to go but up for this team.
    

The Right Way

Alright, we've taken a good hard look at some failing teams, why don't we celebrate some teams that are doing it right and getting it done? First up, there's a battle at the top of the Voltron Division between Bayside Bombadiers and Golden Dragon. Only one game separates them and they've been on winning streaks of four and six games respectively. Both of them are playing extremely well obviously but who will win the division? And after that, let's look at the best team in the Russell Conference, the Thundercats' division leader, Nande? ReBuRonSAN (who I'll refer to as "Nande" because I have no idea what the rest of that all means), who is on an astounding eight game winning streak!

Bayside Bombardiers (8-3)
Oh yes, Pierre's team is very good, as evidenced by the fact that two of their three losses have come against the Sour Snails and Korea! Korea!, who were the juggernauts of the early season. Their one other loss was a semi-flukey one to the 2-9 Pogiboys. Our preseason analysis called this team "the second bananas" for their lack of franchise players. Well, who cares? They've proven to be balanced, deep at every position, and Luol Deng has more than shored up the previously questionable small forward spot.

Overall, this team has had a very steady lineup, and have only used three waiver wire pickups all season, proving that it's not about quantity, but quality. In fact, they've had ten players log 20+ games for them, and only injuries to Pau Gasol, Jameer Nelson, and now Mo Williams have forced them to go to the reserves.

The great balance on this team is epitomized by not having any 20+ PTS guys yet ranking third overall in PTS. Quite a feat. The top ten guys on this squad all score in the mid to high teens, making any one of them hot on a given night. The starting lineup of Allen Iverson, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng (17.7 PTS, 7.3 REB, 1 STL/BLK), David West, and Pau Gasol (17 PTS, 11 REB, 1.6 BLK) provide a little bit of everything and when top sixth man Jamal Crawford comes off the bench, along with hard nosed revelation, Carl Landry, there's no drop off. Mix in Jameer Nelson, Luis Scola's yeoman efforts, and the occasional Samuel Dalembert appearance (12.2 REB, 2.7 BLK last month) and this team is well positioned for a great second half. Losing Mo Williams does hurt, as he was quietly having a very good year (17 PTS, 5 AST, 1.2 STL, 2.3 3PT), but the Bombardiers should be fine.

Areas of concern? Well, the Bombardiers are great in FG% and PTS but have some significant weaknesses too. They rank very close to last in the league in FT%, AST, 3PT, and STL. For a team that has been cruising through the regular season, that is a bit of a surprise but as Pierre proves, it's not about the numbers or the stars, it's about the wins.

Golden Dragon (7-4)
After coming out of the gates with only one win in five tries, we were a little worried about the Dragons. Well, turns out they were just coming out of hibernation and a bit sluggish. They've recently ripped off six straight wins and feasted on the competition. Their decision to go with Dwayne Wade at #3 overall has been well justified, as he's averaging 27 PTS, 6 AST, 5 REB, 1.8 STL, and 1.1 3PT.

Rolling the dice with a few injury prone players was, well, dicey, but everything has been coming up aces for Thien so far. In a nice surprise, Andrew Bynum and Dwayne Wade lead the team in games played, and Chris Kaman has returned full force, averaging 20/9 with 1.2 BLK. Paired with Andrew Bynum on the blocks (17/9, 1.5 BLK), it's been quite a load down low. Kenyon Martin has been fantastic as an aggressive big off the bench, with nice rebounding numbers and a block a game. Actually, the Dragons are spectacular in blocks, as they also get one per game from SG Dwayne Wade and SF Rudy Gay.

This team does lack in the passing department, as starting PG Raymond Felton hasn't been great there, getting out-assisted by Wade. And they turn over the ball a ton, which makes them lose the TO battle most weeks. But hey, the Dragons put up points in a hurry and play a high energy style that allows them to lead the entire league in PTS. They boast five near 20+ scorers and every usable player is in double digits. The team is stacked at the forward positions, as Gay and Paul Pierce are nearly interchangeable, and Martin and Al Harrington man the PF slot providing either interior defense or outside shooting depending on the matchup.

This team can throw out a bigs lineup that is just scary featuring Wade handling the ball, flanked by Gay and Pierce, with Kaman and Bynum down low. Who can match up with that kind of height? For the past month and a half, the answer has been: Nobody! It'll be interesting to see if Thien has any moves planned as they fight for the division title against the Bombardiers.

Nande? ReBuRonSAN (9-2)
Eight wins in a row and a huge matchup with the undefeated Sour Snails in WK14 being played out right now. Nande is ripping through the competition and has defeated all the top teams on their way to the top of the Russell Conference. We've talked about how Mikey's team would be the most entertaining one to watch and it's proven to be very accurate. Sure, most of the drama has come from Gilbert Arenas but when your first round pick gets suspended indefinitely for bringing guns to the stadium and joking about shooting a teammate, you know your season is already one for the history books. Agent Zero was justifying his first round status, with 22.6 PTS, 7.2 AST, 1.3 STL and 2 3PT (albeit at 41.1 FG%) and his production will be hard to make up.

The good news is that Tracy McGrady is back! Well, for six games, and he's been promptly shelved again. In all seriousness, this team is being led into contention ex-teammates Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette. Captain Jack has spearheaded the offensive attack with 24.5 PTS, 2.3 STL, and 1.8 3PT this past month, while Maggette is at a jaw dropping 26.9 PTS, 6.9 REB and 51.4% over his past fifteen games. Serving as the glue guy is Andre Iguodala, who's been doing a bit of everything and his quick hands have been integral to helping Nande rank fourth in STL.

Ron Artest and Ben Wallace have their uses but have been disappointments for the most part, especially Artest, who's become the Lakers' version of Shane Battier. Losing Arenas will probably drop Nande out of the top 3PT rankings, so maybe we'll see some more Peja Stojakovic or Carlos Delfino (1.8 3PT each). The PF/C combo of Shawn Marion and Jermaine O'Neal would have been spectacular five years ago but is now just about average, as both guys are at around 12 PTS and 7 REB. Serviceable but nothing spectacular. The return of Kevin Love has been a huge boon as he's producing 15 PTS and 11 REB per game (and will push Nande to number one in REB soon) and only getting steadier. The big hole here is at point guard, which was already thin with just Arenas. Free agent George Hill is manning the position but he won't do and we're looking for Mikey to make a deal for a floor general soon.

Just looking at their roster, Nande doesn't seem like they should be whipping everyone in the league. But let's not overlook one thing: The role of the coach and GM, Mikey. Let's look at some numbers. While Nande's top nine guys have each played at least 30 games each, there have also been another 19 guys who have logged at least one game. With a league leading moves count of 29, Mikey is showing the league how to be a stellar owner and we're delighted he's kicking ass. Action equals success, inaction equals fail! With a three game lead in their division, look for Nande to cruise into the playoffs and continue to win with the effort of a champion.

Down and Out

Here we are, almost exactly at the halfway point of the season and we've already got a few teams out of playoff contention. Well, barring miracles anyway. Welcome to our version of the New Jersey Nets everyone! The three teams below are being handed a Golden Ticket to Toilet Bowl-ville and they couldn't be more excited about it. Time to make moves!

Human Amoebas (2-9)
After starting off a respectable 2-2, the Amoebas are on a streak of seven straight losses and are five games out of a playoff spot. Basically the Amoebas are already playing for next year. With the recent blockbuster trade of the former face of their franchise, Danny Granger, what can the new look Amoebas do to prepare for the Toilet Bowl? Our pre-season review indicated that this wouldn't be the Amoebas' year anyway. GM Eric-A went young with all his picks and knew that he wouldn't be a contender this season. However, I doubt he expected things to be quite this bad.

The starting backcourt of Derrick Rose and the newly acquired Monta Ellis is the obvious strength of the team. By flipping Granger for Ellis, Eric-A was looking to cash in on Ellis' high octane game of PTS, AST, and STL. He'll lose some 3PT in the process but the thought of Rose and Ellis zipping up and down the court must have gotten Eric-A salivating. Sophomore sparkplug Eric Gordon has been an excellent sixth man, and provides good scoring and long distance shooting with high percentages. And even veteran Jarrett Jack has found new life as a starter in Toronto, averaging nearly five assists a game.

The problem for this team has been the front line. Micheal Beasley has been better in his second year, although he still hasn't broken out yet. Injuries have hurt him a little bit but he should develop into a consistent twenty point scorer soon. Losing Greg Oden for rest of the campaign hurt a lot, as his REB and BLKs were the lynchpin for the defensive frontcourt. Andray Blatche and Nenad Krstic can man the pivot but aren't exactly defensive terrors or all that impressive on the boards (below 5 REB a game each). Power forward Paul Millsap is getting almost 30 minutes a night but that's not enough to duplicate his numbers from last year. He's still averaging 12 PTS, 7.5 REB, 1 STL/BLK, but he really needs Carlos Boozer out of Utah to shine.

Courtney Lee, a seventh round pick, can't quite stay in the starting lineup, and has been highly inconsistent, he needs some more time to grow. And Hasheem Thabeet averages 1.5 BLK in only eleven minutes a game but it's doubtful he'll play well enough to be a keeper next year. Overall, the Amoebas rank very poorly in outside shooting, are last in AST, very low in PTS, REB, and STL, and are average everywhere else, except TOs, where they shine. What other moves might the Amoebas make? Building around their strong backcourt will be a start, and it's just a question of how they can pull it together for the Toilet Bowl to get a shot at a much needed big man in next year's draft.

Dr. Jack's Prescription: Patience, this team isn't built for the now, so there's no rush. The move for Monta Ellis refined a strength and further moves could do the same thing. The future can still be bright despite a cloudy present.

Funk Coalition (2-8-1)
So far the Funk have fallen flat all around. Their two wins have come against 4-7 teams, and they had a six game losing streak recently. Welcome to the Toilet Bowl! With no chance of making the playoffs, the Funk is just trying to pull it together for a high draft pick run. So much for that 7-1 divionsal record prediction eh? The good news is, well, there isn't much. The Coalition are terrible on defense, ranking last or very close to last in STL and BLK. And it's not like they can offensively compensate, ranking 15th in PTS. What are they good at then? Not turning to ball over mostly. The Funk are in the bottom half of the league in every category except TO and AST, the latter of which they are sixth, despite boasting Deron Williams' almost ten dimes per game. A team that looked really balanced on paper has sprung holes everywhere.

The biggest problem Funk faces is their lack of offensive firepower. Only Joe Johnson, who is having a typically well rounded year, is over 20+ PTS. Tony Parker, Lamarcus Aldridge, and Deron Williams are only in the high teens and rarely explode. Those three have also been injury prone, shuttling in and out of the lineup. Speaking of injuries, fifth round pick Andris Biedrins was supposed to man the middle but he's only recently started playing and is only averaging 6 PTS and 8 REB a game. His two BLK are nice, but he's rounding into shape and not getting a lot of playing time. The revelation in the front court has been Joakim Noah, who is having a breakout year and has firmly established his nightly double double status. The good news is that Aldridge, an early season disappointment, has been very good with 18 PTS and 9 REB a game as the only big left in Portland. The problem is, there's no solid frontcourt guy after Noah and Aldridge. Chris Andersen has regressed tremendously, Tyson Chandler has been injured and near useless when healthy. This team needs Biedrins bad.

To combat shooting guard JR Smith's lack of accuracy and extreme inconsistency, Jon has tried to find some waiver wire pieces to fit into the lineup. Martell Webster, Rasual Butler, and Arron Afflalo recently logged some heavy minutes for this team, and Luke Ridnour and Devin Brown both used to play in crunch time. See why the Funk have been so terrible? Injury plagued and with a roster lacking depth and the ability to put points on the board, this could be a long second half of the season for the Coalition.

Dr. Jack's Prescription: Get Biedrins back to double double status, find an explosive scoring complement to Joe Johnson, and pray for health the next few months.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-9)
After stumbling out of the gate with four straight losses, the Pogiboys had two rousing wins in a row, including a huge victory over their division leader, Bayside Bombardiers, in WK8. Things were looking good right? Well, five straight losses later and it's safe to say they're eliminated from playoff contention. It should be noted that their recent loss to Korea! Korea! was by 0.0001 in the FG% category. That's what, one missed shot? Pretty active on the waiver wire, Alvin has had an astonishing 26 players play games for them so far this season. That includes one by Goran Dragic (who?), five from Raja Bell, and ten from Juwan Howard. Go Blue!

We've covered the Pogiboys' inadequacies in this space before, so we'll leave it be for the most part. Injuries are still wreaking havoc with their lineup but they are getting healthier. Their overall play is still very up and down and there's just no offense on this team. Amare Stoudemire is at 20 PTS but after that the drop off is to Caron Butler at 16 PTS. Devin Harris has been really bad recently (12 PTS, 6.4 AST, 1.1 STL, 35.9 FG% in the past month) and Alvin needs his second round pick to start performing. Plus, this team is getting killed on the boards, with nobody averaging more than 6 REB except for Stoudemire, who's only at 7.7 a game. A bright spot for the Pogis? Um, Brandon Jennings? He's slowed down but still has growth potential right? Even if that Rookie of the Year is slipping out of his grasp...

Dr. Jack's Prescription: Keep plugging away and try to get some momentum together in time for the Toilet Bowl. The team needs a better identity but it's been difficult with everyone slumping, seemingly all at the same time.

Wheeling and Dealing

The first major deal in SlamNation Part Deux was struck yesterday afternoon. In a one for one swap, the Monkeys sent budding all-star guard, Monta Ellis, to the Human Amoebas in return for former Monkey, Danny Granger. As part of the trade, the Monkeys have also agreed to send their 2nd overall pick in the 2011 Supplemental Draft to the Amoebas for their 4th round pick.

Evan, GM of the Monkeys was quoted earlier, “We wish Monta nothing but the best. He is a great player with a bright future ahead of him. He played his hearts out for us and we know he will do great with the Amoebas. This trade, however, is about Danny Granger. The deal represents a major step forward for the organization as we welcome back Danny Granger. Danny does a lot of things awfully well and I have full confidence that he will improve our team.”

ESPN Fantasy Analyst, Matthew Berry, spoke on SportsCenter earlier this morning about the deal. “This seems to be a win-win deal for both teams. Ellis will play extremely well with Derrick Rose and the two certainly will pair to be one of the best young backfields for years to come. The team just got a lot quicker. I expect the deal to increase the team’s scoring opportunities as Ellis plays well both with and off the ball. As for the Monkeys, this deal was a no-brainer. The team is familiar with Granger and his skillset. They had a logjam at the guard position and Granger gives them another genuine superstar to run with CP3. The Monkeys will look to slot either James Harden or Trevor Ariza into the shooting guard position with Granger manning the small forward slot. This will be a fun team to watch!”

Sources close to the Amoebas indicated that the original deal was potentially larger and included at least 4 players (with Rose and Bargnani as potential trade pieces). Sometimes smaller is better but something tells us that more deals are in the pipeline.