Shake Up

Even as the NBA shocks us with one blockbuster after another, SlamNation is itself heading toward the tail end of the season. With just four weeks of regular season action left -- including this week -- Funk Coalition gets in the action again by getting involved in another blockbuster. Having moved franchise point guard Deron Williams off the roster about a month ago, GM Jon saw the need for a bit more assists. Recent acquisition Tyreke Evans had been ailing and it was the three headed "monster" of Tony Parker, Rodney Stuckey, and Lou Williams leading the Funk. Tied with Bayside Bombardiers for their first ever playoff berth, team Funkalicious needed to make another mega move.

Dangling LaMarcus Aldridge, Jon fished around for a new franchise caliber lead man. Aldridge has arguably been the hottest player of 2011, with averages of 28.0 PTS, 9.5 REB, 1.8 STL, 1.5 BLK and outstanding percentages from both the field and the line over the past few weeks. He has clearly made the leap and taken control of a Portland franchise in turmoil. With such a juicy trade chip, Jon looked into every prime time fantasy PG option.

For Half Man Half ImAsian, this season has been about more continued success. Standing at 11-4 and fighting for homecourt advantage through the playoffs, Oliver's team is adding more frontcourt strength in order to battle division leader Buffy's plethora of big men. With Anderson Varejao done for the season, Half Man Half ImAsian was lacking another big man to pair with Andrew Bogut. It's true Amir Johnson and JaVale McGee exude promise but they are still getting started in their careers. With boldness and execution worthy of Mikhail Prokhorov, Oliver swung for the fences and agreed to an exchange of Russell Westbrook for LaMarcus Aldridge and hometown favorite, combo guard Rodney Stuckey.

This move transforms both franchises immediately. Kevin Durant says good bye to his Thunder teammate and will need to find the emotional fortitude to carry on. Having Stuckey around will help in the PTS department but he isn't in the same league as a distributor. Westbrook was averaging 22.1 PTS, 8.5 AST, 4.9 REB, and 1.8 STL this season while Stuckey was at 15.1 PTS, 4.4 AST, and 1.1 STL. Neither are great shooters or possess much three point range. While Funk Coalition will miss Aldridge's 22.4 PTS, 9.0 REB, 1.2 BLK/STL, and 50.0 FG%, they wanted to be able to fight for the AST category each week.

Will this be the last major SlamNation deal before our deadline closes? Let's hope not, as I know more moves are in the making as teams jostle for playoff positioning and the Toilet Bowl. More trades guys!

I'm Outta Here

In solidarity with today's surprise announcement that Jerry Sloan will be stepping down as coach of the Utah Jazz after 23 seasons and 1,127 wins, his protege, the coach of the Funk Coalition will also step down after after two seasons and ten wins. We would name the Funk's coach but it appears nobody in the organization knows what his/her name was. Long time Funker, point guard Tony Parker, said, "Attendez que nous avions un entraîneur-chef? Quand? Je m'ennuie de toi Eva!" Translated to the King's English, it means: "Wait we had a head coach? When? I miss you Eva!"

On a one game winning streak, the new Funk Coalition is charging up the charts and only a game out of the playoffs. Carmelo Anthony and Tyreke Evans have been stellar but it's been the emotional return of Kendrick Perkins (averaging 7.0 PTS, 10.7 REB, 2.0 BLK) that has steadied the team. In addition, snubbed by the All Star team, LaMarcus Aldridge is making his case for most pissed off player of the year by dropping two 40+ PTS games after the announcement.

As for former face of the Funk franchise and recently traded Deron Williams, whom ESPN reports was the leading cause of Sloan's retirement, chants of "coach killer" will surely follow him the rest of his career and possibly demoralize his confidence forever.