Toilet Bowl Preview RD1: 2012

Russell Conference
#1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-4) vs #4 So Buckets (3-9)
It's been a tough season for new owner Josh. It seemed like nothing could go right for the first seven weeks as losses piled up and morale was low. The core of Pau Gasol, Andre Iguodala, and Gerald Wallace wasn't gelling and nothing was working out. However, So Buckets did go 3-2 over their last five games and rookie Kyrie Irving (18.8 PTS, 5.6 AST, 1.3 3PT) is looking like a star. Josh would love to see Evan Turner get more minutes, as he's been proving that he's fantastic with more playing time. David West has been horrific this season, averaging only 12.0 PTS and 6.6 REB. Next year is looking up for So Buckets though, as West will have another year to recover, Crash Wallace will be in Brooklyn, and another top pick could be inserted into the lineup.

What probably won't be happening this year is an upset. I mean, MoRRie's Pogiboys were a few tie-breakers short of the playoffs and are the prohibitive favorites to win the Toilet Bowl. Alvin's team started off 7-2, with a five game winning streak mid-season, before winding down and slipping up. Amare Stoudemire, face of the franchise, has had a disappointing season but his slack has been made up by Roy Hibbert, who came into his own with 13.2 PTS, 9.0 REB, 1.8 BLK, and 50.1 FG%. There are a lot of good things going with the Pogis, with Mike Conley continuing his great AST/STL, Brandon Jennings (mis-)firing from everywhere, Marcus Thornton throwing up 18.8 PTS, 2.1 3PT, and 1.5 STL, and rookie Brandon Knight proving useful. Incredibly, Carlos Delfino has started 42 games this season, anchoring the starting swingman spot. Last week the Pogiboys dispatched So Buckets pretty easily but we're hoping Josh can pull off a huge upset!

#2 Human Amoebas (5-7) vs #3 Funk Coalition (3-9)
A disappointing run for the defending champs. There hasn't been much to smile about after three wins to open the season and a 2-7 record afterwards. Oh wait, there is! The potential heist of the century as magician Eric-A turned Andray Blatche (and draft picks) into Dirk Nowitzki. Every day I struggle with if we should have vetoed that one, especially as Blatche got shut down for the season. Derrick Rose has been a headache all year with his health issues, Eric Gordon never recovered from an early season injury, and depth has been a problem despite the presence of Monta Ellis, DeMarcus Cousins, and Paul Millsap on the roster. Channing Frye (10.4 PTS, 6.1 REB, 1.5 3PT, 1.1 BLK) has been secretly nice though; too bad the Amoebas aren't a small ball team. Next year the Amoebas could have a healthy Derrick Rose, Dirk Nowtizki for a full season, an incredible keeper set, plus a top draft pick. Oh wait, that one will go to the Jedis. Thank goodness.

The Funk Coalition has a shot at stealing a win here, if Rose stays out for this week. Of course, they are coming off a patheic season and was pounded by a division boasting three 8-4 teams. Tony Parker's season has been a revelation, as he put up 19.5 PTS and 8.0 AST. In addition, Al Jefferson has returned to form as a nearly 20-10 center with great percentages but he couldn't keep the Funk from floundering. Carmelo Anthony has been an abomination this season, barely averaging 20.0 PTS. After their top six, nobody played more than 20 games for this squad, as GM Jon was flustered all season long doing the waiver wire shuffle. A big rebuild is rumored for this team and a good run in the Toilet Bowl could calm the fan base.

Chamberlain Conference
#1 LA Buffy (5-7) vs #4 Fob Stars (1-11)
Roger's team collapsed this season. Last year they went 13-6 and were the second seed heading into the playoffs. This time around they started off the season with two losses, seemingly righted the ship with three wins, and then went 2-5 the rest of the way. Traditionally a team with a dominant front line, Buffy fell far behind in REB this season (while still maintaining most of their BLK edge). Carlos Boozer has played every game this season, which is pretty incredible. And Marc Gasol has stepped up his game while Zach Randolph has been out, cementing his top tier center status with 15.5 PTS, 9.6 REB, and 1.8 BLK. Rookie Kemba Walker could mature into a keeper, making him a very necessary addition to a backcourt that boasts the corpse of Vince Carter. With Danny Granger, Tim Duncan, and Elton Brand still contributing, Buffy could make a quick return to the playoffs if they can get some help at either guard position.

In their only matchup this season, the Fob Stars got stomped by Buffy 8-1-0. Yes, the one category they won was turnovers. A closer look into what else Jimmy's squad has been up to. Last in PTS, FG%, STL; second to last in REB and AST; 14th in FT% and BLK. The good news is they are not too far behind the league average in 3PT. Is it any wonder they had only one win this season? (That one was a WK5 thriller against the then winless Jedi Knights.) Sure Zach Randolph has been out most of the season, but was Emeka Okafor, Chris Kaman, and Chauncey Billups crucial to this team's success? Maybe. Players who have notched 30 games or more for this team: Joakim Noah, Lou Williams, Nick Young, DJ Augustin, Michael Beasley. Right now the best player for the Fobbies is Noah -- acquired on draft day in exchange for Chris Bosh -- and he's not even averaging a double double. After going 6-13 last year, we thought the Fob Stars were trending up after a four win season prior to that but instead they have hit rock bottom. We guarantee the #3 pick in next year's draft, as it would take an impossible effort for Jimmy's team to advance past the first round in the Toilet Bowl. The question if this should be written off as an injury plagued season or a time to blow everything up.

#2 Sour Snails (4-8) vs #3 Jedi Knights (2-10)
Foreign territory for Trieu's mighty Sour Snails. After a championship and two straight trips to the Finals, this mighty franchise is suffering from a tough transition. Injuries hit hard too, with Stephen Curry and Danilo Gallinari out for the fantasy season. What's more difficult for this team is redefining an identity. What used to be a powerful semi-small ball team is now devoid of any passing guards except off-season acquired Raymond Felton and his 6.1 AST. Kevin Love (26.3 PTS, 13.8 REB, 1.9 3PT) is an absolute animal but he and Josh Smith (18.2 PTS, 9.7 REB, 1.9 BLK, 1.5 STL) can only do so much. Trieu did unearth rookie Klay Thompson for the stretch run and Jason Thompson is redefining "contract month" with his powerful March play. Given his track record, we'll chalk up this season to just an aberration as Trieu has dominated the last two SlamNation seasons. Now he has the chance to add a top draft pick to his core, which could be just the panacea he needs to contend again.

57 vs 7. That's the difference in moves between these two teams, our league's leader and bottom dweller in that category. GM Trieu has been fighting hard to keep his team in contention while GM Chris has been content with some light fishing. In fact, the Jedi Knights have made a total of nine moves in three seasons (one each in 2010-11). Some owners make more than that in a month. What did Master Yoda say? "Do, or do not. There is no try." Yes, we agree, there is no try. Startingly, Chris' team won their last two games of the season. Of course, upon closer inspection, they only played six players each week and yet somehow eked out wins over Trieu and Jimmy. What gives? Well, we're just happy the Knights escaped a winless season. We're looking at how this rebuild will go, as franchise cornerstone Dirk Nowitzki was deported and there's not a whole lot else on this roster outside of a resurgent David Lee (19.2 PTS, 9.8 REB, 50.2 FG%), injury plagued Nene, and super bombermen Wesley Matthews and Dorell Wright. Use the Force!