RD2 Previews: 2013

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Sour Snails (14-5) vs #2 LA Buffy (13-6)
Juggernaut Trieu took care of defending champion Fat Jubas with ease -- even Jeff Green's monster game 43 point game wouldn't have helped -- and the way is now clear for a title run, as he's the top seed left. Lead guard Steph Curry is day-to-day with a severe ankle sprain, so that could lead to some trouble. However, this group has more than enough firepower to withstand Curry's injury. I mean, Russell Westbrook, Monta Ellis, and Damian Lillard are still healthy. Yeah, we're not sure who can stop Sour Snails...

Buffy had a tougher time squeezing by Squirtle Squad, but took care of business by popping in an extra three 3PT, four extra REB, and turning the ball over twice less. (Brian's team got decimated by injuries -- Joe Johnson, Ty Lawson, Bradley Beal, and Nikola Vucevic all missed games.) Roger will need a lot of Tim Duncan, Carlos Boozer, and Chris Bosh to make this a battle. Most of Trieu's team only has three games this week, so that could be a crucial factor in any upset chances.

Russell Conference
#3 Chunky Monkeys (11-7-1) vs #4 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (9-8-2)
A double upset! The Monkeys took down So Buckets -- although that was expected -- and the Heffalumps shocked the world and took down championship favorites NJ All-Stars. Wow! Despite a monster week from LeBron James, and some nice performances from Paul George, Isaiah Thomas, and Luol Deng, Eddie's collapsed late. The main culprit was the shooting, as J's team captured FG% and FT%, and also won the TO battle. It just goes to show that even when outpowered, if you pay attention to the details, you can take down anybody.

Now the door is open for either team to make a surprise run to the Finals. The Monkeys have a lot more weapons at their disposal, but they must fear J's FG/FT/TO advantage also. David West and Arron Afflalo are out, so this will truly be a small ball squad for Evan. There's no question Evan won't win most of those categories behind Chris Paul, James Harden, and Co., but if Heffalumps can kill it from the charity stripe again, another huge upset could be theirs. Oh, did we mention that Kobe Bryant only played one game for the Heffalumps?! It could be the Ewing Theory in full effect!


TOILET BOWL
#1 Fob Stars (9-9-1) vs #2 Half Man Half ImAsian (7-10-2)
Jimmy had a harder time dispatching the toothless Jedi Knights than expected, winning by only one rebound -- or three steals. Oliver's team pancaked Eron, Joven and Chandler and could carryover for another easy win behind LaMarcus Aldridge and Ersan Ilyasova's work on the boards, especially if Joakim Noah doesn't hit the floor for Fob Stars. We smell a minor upset brewing unless Kemba Walker can continue his dominant ways and help Jimmy's team to a victory in the guard categories.

#1 Super Ninja (9-9-1) vs #3 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-10-1)
Both teams had easy wins during their first round matchups -- with Pogiboys "upsetting" an injured and rattled higher seeded Funk Coalition. Alvin will need more big games from Mike Conley and J.R. Smith if they'll want to topple Ninja's trio of Dwyane Wade, Paul Pierce, and John Wall. Thien's squad has some injury issues but if Tyson Chandler can bounce back, he should remain competitive on the boards against Pogiboys' big men. This one could come down to steals!

Playoff Preview RD1: 2013

Russell Conference
#1 NJ All-Stars (15-4) vs #4 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (9-8-2)
Once again, three teams from the Thundercats division made the playoffs. Last season's number four seed, NJ All-Stars, has ascended the throne and emerged with the regular season crown, as well as the odds on favorite to take the whole thing. They shocked the world by making the Finals last season, and the proved it wasn't a fluke as they could be headed there again. There's a sliver of a chance for Heffalumps to pull a big upset here, as they beat the All-Stars just three weeks ago -- winning BLK by four and TO by two. Taking down the incredible small forward trio of Lebron James, Paul George, and Luol Deng would be a handful for anybody however. Despite being bottom five in moves this season, Eddie has proven that it's not about quantity but quality. They have ridden Ryan Anderson, J.J. Hickson, and the Jose Calderon and Kyle Lowry point guard duo to victory after victory. There's not a lot of weaknesses on this team, the main hope here is that LBJ gets hurt.

The thing is, J's Heffalumps finished up 4-1 after a seven game mid-season swoon, and they've got Al Horford playing on fire with 21.0 PTS, 11.3 REB, 1.4 BLK, 1.3 STL over the past month, and nice contributions from frontcourt mates Kenneth Faried and Omer Asik. The Heffalumps haven't made many moves this season either -- just thirteen -- and their top seven guys have all played about 50+ games. The problem is, their most important cog, Kobe Bryant is day to day at this crucial time. The Bryant versus James matchup would pull in high ratings but Kobe may not make the high noon call time. If he can't go, the Heffalmps have no chance, and it's on to the next round for our favorites, the NJ All-Stars!

#2 So Buckets (10-9) vs #3 Chunky Monkeys (11-7-1)
In a strange seeding twist, the Monkeys are playing their week on hostile territory, despite having more wins than So Buckets. For So Buckets, Josh's sophomore campaign has been much better than his first one, and he's got the Voltron division crown to prove it. Any hopes of a long playoff run were dashed though, as team leader Kyrie Irving has hit the injured list and won't be making a return. With Kyrie out, plus Pau Gasol still sitting in street clothes, So Buckets are relying on Jarrett Jack, Andre Iguodala, Evan Turner, Nene, and Larry Sanders to lead the way. Um, that might not work so well. The good news is that Josh's team is clearly on the rise and with Irving back to lead the way in 2014, the So Buckets will look to make some more noise in their third season.

With a free pass to the next round, Chunky Monkeys should look ahead to next week, perhaps to a rematch of last year's conference finals. They started the season off 8-2 but only went 3-5-1 the rest of the way. Obviously, that's not great. They are getting a monster year from James Harden (26.3 PTS, 5.9 AST, 1.9 STL, 2.3 3PT), and a breakout season from Jrue Holiday. The small ball lineup features a slew of other guards, led by Chris Paul, but we're wondering if there's enough big men here to fill up the frontcourt, as Andrea Bargnani is out for the season and Byron Mullens is riding the pine. We like David West and his wonderful 17.3 PTS, 7.7 REB, 1.0 STL/BLK this season, but we're not sure Markieff Morris is the answer at the other spot. There are literally no healthy center eligibles on this team aside from Mullens, so that could cost Evan some games if he's not careful. Still, this week should be an easy walk in the park versus the heavily undermanned So Buckets.

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Sour Snails (14-5) vs #4 Fat Jubas (10-9)
The Snails are back baby! The former champs slipped into the Toilet Bowl last season, but emerged with Rookie of the Year Damian Lillad, and am now fully prepped for a championship run. Trieu's squad has won seven in a row and smoked the competition as they made a huge push to take the Silverhawks crown. By shifting Kevin Love for red hot Monta Ellis and disgruntled DeMarcus Cousins, they Snails announced their intention to re-enter contender status. Then they got Russell Westbrook a few weeks ago and they now sport the best guards in the league with Westbrook, Lillard, Stephon Curry, and Ellis -- not to mention sharp shooter Klay Thompson. If the frontcourt of Cousins, semi-returned Andrew Bogut, and recent double double machine Kosta Koufos can support them, the Snails could be a juggernaut.

Defending champ Fat Jubas are back in the playoffs, which is a good thing, but they've had an uneven year -- including a five game losing streak in WK4-8. Steve Nash has been terrible all year, averaging 6.8 AST on the season, but if Kobe Bryant stays out, Nash could be back to double digit assists at just the right time. The Jubas are in need of a rebuild, but the roster still is clearly competitive behind versatile Nicolas Batum, mercurial Tyreke Evans, and the defensive prowess of Marc Gasol and Kevin Garnett. Gordon Hayward is on his late season tear and his scoring output has been greatly needed. For Jubas to win this week, and to pull a big upset, they'll need to counter Sour Snails brand of semi-small ball. We see a chance though, as Eric-L's team is strong exactly where the Snails are vulnerable. This is clearly the game of the week, a matchup between champions past and present!

#2 LA Buffy (13-6) vs #3 Squirtle Squad (12-6-1)
In a dogfight for this season's Transformers crown, Squirtle Squad almost caught Buffy during the last week of the regular season. Instead, Buffy captures the division title but does so while swooning behind five losses in their past seven games -- including a recent WK17 loss to Squirtle. Roger's team tore out of the gates incredibly fast at 11-1 and looked like world beaters, but they fell hard and fast.  Jeremy Lin led the team in games played, followed by Carlos Boozer. Who would have thought those two would be such a big part of Buffy's winning season? Beyond that, Tim Duncan has sipped from the fountain of youth this season, averaging 17.1 PTS, 9.8 REB, 2.7 BLK and somehow shooting 80.6 FG% after being a career craptastic charity striper. Jameer Nelson has been quietly very productive this seaon, while Chris Bosh has also been quite efficient.

All that could be naught though, as Squirtle Squad is red hot heading into the playoffs. They have gone 8-1 in recent games and am primed for a deep run. I know we said that last season, when Brian's team was the number one seed in the Chamberlain Conference, but this could be their year! Deron Williams and Ty Lawson are humming, and if rookie Bradley Beal can quickly regain his scoring touch, he'll help mitigate the huge step back that Joe Johnson took this season. Adding double double terror Nikola Vucevic and Brook Lopez in a recent trade will bolster the front line of Serge Ibaka and Greg Monroe, and late season free agent find Tobias Harris (15.8 PTS, 7.3 REB, 1.3 BLK, 1.2 3PT, 1.0 STL) could be just the thing to push the Squirtles into a championship round, finally.

Toilet Bowl Preview RD1: 2013

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Fob Stars (9-9-1) vs #4 Jedi Knights (3-14-2)
Both of these teams were in the Toilet Bowl last year, and both lost in the first round. They've also been the two worst teams in the league -- they accounted for just three wins total in 2012. In fact, these two franchises have finished second to last and dead last in Silverhawks division for four years running. C'mon Jimmy and Lum, get it together! The good news is, there might be some light on the horizon, at least for Fob Stars. They finished a very respectable 0.500 and even led the division at mid-season, before tumbling into the Toilet Bowl on the strength of a 1-4 finish. But the future looks bright as Kemba Walker has emerged as a fantasy star, and rookie Dion Waiters has flashed signs of being a high scoring contributor. With Zach Randolph and Joakim Noah (a career year of  12.0 PTS, 11.5 REB, 4.1 AST, 2.2 BLK, 1.2 STL) anchoring the front line, the Fob Stars could challenge for a postseason berth next year. Hopefully.

As for the Jedi, they started off the season 0-4-1 and finished it on a 0-7-1 tear. Ouch. Before the season, we thought GM Superlum had made some bold moves, but then when he (again) was the bottom dweller in terms of in-season moves, his team failed to fight through a series of injuries. The frontline duo of DeAndre Jordan and David Lee led the team in games played, but aside from OJ Mayo, every other player had time on the injury list. The silver lining to the season has been the return to form by Lee, averaging 18.7 PTS and 11.1 REB, and the nice season put in by Thaddeus Young, Greivis Vasquez, and Chandler Parsons. The trade for Amar'e Stoudemire was a bust, but mainly due to injury. For Jedi Knights to trend upward, we're hoping 2014 brings no sign of another absentee owner season.

#2 Half Man Half ImAsian (7-10-2) vs #3 Eron, Joven and Chandler (6-13)
That these two were headed for the Toilet Bowl was a foregone conclusion at the midpoint of the season. As Transformers division mates, they'll battle it out for supremacy of the bottom. Eron, Joven and Chandler had a rough first season in Slam Nation, but they finished 2-2 against some worthy competition and they can hope to ride Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, Jeff Teague (7.1 AST, 1.5 STL), and the return of Ricky Rubio forward a few rounds. Only Griffin and Teague has managed to play a full slate, so the team has to deal with a lot of injury woes all season. It would be fantastic if Manu Ginobili would step up his game right now, and he's flashed some signs that he might. For GM Chris-L, a top pick in next year's draft would really solidify his roster.

As for Oliver's team, this is all new territory, as they've never been out of the playoffs before -- their 0-6-2 record between WK4 and WK11 did them in. Despite the incredible MVP-esque season by Kevin Durant, the rest of the roster, save LaMarcus Aldridge, has been undependable. Losing Anderson Varejao for the year hurt real bad, and by the time Ersan Ilyasova picked his game back up, it was too late. When JaVale McGee and Mario Chalmers are logging major minutes for your team, that's probably not a good sign. We thought this might be McGee's breakout year but somehow he's only averaging 9.4 PTS and 4.7 REB. If Half Man Half ImAsian can secure a top two pick, that could be just the ticket to return them to contention.

Russell Conference
#1 Super Ninja (9-9-1) vs #4 Human Amoebas (1-17-1)
Despite heading into the Toilet Bowl, Super Ninja must very excited as they're poised to win a high pick (again). They are coming off a six game winning streak and barely missed the post-season. If there's a juggernaut waiting in the consolation ladder, Thien's team is it. The return of John Wall, the gigantic surge by Dwayne Wade (24.3 PTS, 5.7 AST, 5.4 REB, 2.4 STL, 57.5 FG%) over the past month, and Paul Pierce and Rudy Gay both stepping up their fantasy numbers -- the latter has cost DeMar DeRozan lots of minutes however -- has more than made up for the non-return of Andrew Bynum. Tyson Chandler might be out for this round, but the solid Nikola Pekovic is back. There's not a lot to stop Super Ninja from advancing to the next round, as the Human Amoebas don't look capable of doing much damage this season.

Amoebas' GM Eric-A knows that his team is a non-factor this year. But the 2011 champs have also gone from near worst to a trophy before. And they won't be shy about asserting that next season could be a return to prominence. After the mega trade for Kevin Love, Eric-A will just wait for the return of Derrick Rose, while letting his talented roster -- he still has Dirk Nowitzki, Paul Millsap, Eric Gordon on board -- steep a little. A high pick would obviously help those aspirations, but with just one win this season, we can't see that happening. Then again, that one win was a WK13 victory against Super Ninja, so maybe miracles can happen!

#2 Funk Coalition (8-9-2) vs #3 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-10-1)
These two Voltron foes have met in the Toilet Bowl before, specifically in last year's semi-finals, as the Pogiboys advanced on to win the Anthony Davis sweepstakes. A similar outcome looks likely as the once mighty Funk have gone winless since WK 12, after posting seven straight wins from WK6-12. The obvious culprit was the loss of Rajon Rondo, but additional injuries to Tony Parker and Marcin Gortat didn't help. With that in mind, Jon has manueverd his team for next season, to maximize his unique brand of big ball. Who would have thought that the recently departed Nikola Vucevic would lead this team in games played? Funk is heading into the Toilet Bowl with a roster of retreads and hopefuls.

Meanwhile, Pogiboys could win back to back #1 picks if they get a few things going their way. They finished up the regular season at a 4-2-1 clip and the team is in the best shape its been all season. Brandon Jennings is going buck wild with his passing, Mike Conley Jr. has been invaluable with his 7.1 AST and 2.4 STL over the past month, and wild card J.R. Smith has been putting big numbers on the board. Heck, even Marcus Thornton is back raining threes. The young front line of Roy Hibbert, Anthony Davis, and Tristan Thompson are doing good things in the paint and if the team continues its solid play, Alvin should start scouting during March Madness for his future 2014 selections!

Playoff & Toilet Bowl Seedings: 2013

PLAYOFFS
*= division winner

Chamberlain Conference

#1 Sour Snails (14-5)*

#2 LA Buffy (13-6)*

#3 Squirtle Squad (12-6-1)

#4 Fat Jubas (10-9)

Russell Conference

#1 NJ All-Stars (15-4)*

#2 So Buckets (10-9)*

#3 Chunky Monkeys (11-7-1)

#4 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (9-8-2)

TOILET BOWL

Chamberlain Conference

#1 Fob Stars (9-9-1)

#2 Half Man Half ImAsian (7-10-2)

#3 Eron, Joven and Chandler (6-13)

#4 Jedi Knights (3-14-2)

Russell Conference

#1 Super Ninja (9-9-1)
#2 Funk Coalition (8-9-2)

#3 MoRRie's Pogiboys (8-10-1)

#4 Human Amoebas (1-17-1)

Tie Breakers
Divisional Winner
For the first time ever, nobody had the same records, which was fantastic for figuring out the seedings! The only quirk that appeared was So Buckets having a higher seed over the Chunky Monkeys (who had more wins) based on winning the Voltron division.

Playoff Wild Cards
Ditto.

Toilet Bowl Tie-Breaks
No tie-break problems here either!

Playoffs

Toilet Bowl

Final Standings 2013

Full Season Stats

Final Rosters 2013

Welcome Back Al!

With the playoffs looming next week, old trade partners Squirtle Squad and Funk Coalition hooked up for another exchange, likely our last of the 2013 season. Al Jefferson finds himself shipped back to Funk after a four month stint with the Squirtles -- the team that originally drafted him way back when. This is the second time Al Jefferson has been brought to Funk, and switched between Brian and Jon. ("I'm keeping two homes man," said Jefferson.) He was initially acquired back in 2010 for Joe Johnson, and was then shipped out this past offseason for Blake Griffin and Jeremy Lin. This time, Jefferson was packaged with Derrick Williams and a 2013 RD3 pick in return for Brook Lopez and Nikola Vucevic.

Having dropped out of dark horse championship contention on the heels of the Rajon Rondo and Tony Parker injuries, GM Jon has been active in shoring up his roster for next year. With a plethora of center eligibles after the Russell Westbrook trade, Funk has been actively hitting the phones, trying to land an around answer. Turns out, the solution was Big Al, who will be welcomed back with open arms, even if he's dipped just a little this season, with 17.5 PTS, 9.2 REB, 1.2 BLK.

Getting a young Derrick Williams for the stretch run could be useful too, as Marcin Gortat and Andre Drummond are also injured. Williams has been averaging 17.5 PTS and 8.6 REB over the past month, as he's gotten plenty of playing time in the wake of everyone in Minnesota being injured. Jon is fighting for his post-season life this week, after being almost assured of getting there just a few weeks ago. Since Rondo went down in WK12, the Funk haven't won a game, going 0-4-2 over that stretch. Ouch.

As for the Squirtles, losing Al Jefferson will hurt, but turning one center into two ain't bad. Especially when one of them is up and comer Vucevic, who was drafted in the third round of this year's draft and has blown up to the tune of 12.2 PTS, 11.4 REB, and 1.0 BLK in his first year as a starter. Along with that, Brook Lopez has found his old form, averaging 18.8 REB, 7.1 REB, and an eye popping 2.2 BLK -- he's had a very short stint with Funk too.

With those two pairing with Serge Ibaka and Greg Monroe (and a temporarily rejuvenated Emeka Okafor in store), Brian now has a front line that can hold its own against anybody. With Deron Williams, Ty Lawson, and Bradley Beal playing inspired ball, along with free agent find Tobias Harris, there's still a chance for Squirtle Squad to overtake Buffy for the Transformers division crown. Even if they head into the playoffs as a wild card, they are hot hot hot. They were on a seven game winning streak until WK18's loss, but they remain a very strong contender for the championship.

Any more moves this season? Remember, the roster lock is coming!

Side Hustles

Wheeling and dealing yet again, Trieu steps up and moves small for big, Raymond Felton for Andrew Bogut, to free up some of the logjam he had at guard after acquiring Russell Westbrook. Buffy wasn't getting much use out of the oft injured Bogut this season, and desperately needed another point guard to pair with Jeremy Lin, so Felton can be the answer.

Felton hasn't been a picture of health himself this season but he's averaging 14.5 PTS, 6.0 STL, 1.4 3PT, and 1.3 STL per game. Seeing as Bogut has only played thirteen games this season (to the tune of 6.8 PTS, 6.6 REB, 1.5 BLK), this will be like adding a free player for Roger's team as he prepares his post-season run. However, Trieu didn't have room for Felton in his rotation so adding a semi-healthy Bogut would be nice front line help for DeMarcus Cousins.

Both Buffy and Sour Snails are at 12-5 with just two weeks of the regular season to go. This means they'll likely be the number one and two seeds in the Chamberlain Conference -- although Squirtle Squad could have something to say about that at 11-5-1 -- and this trade could have playoff ramifications. Are we going to see any other moves before the playoffs start? We sure hope so, as this season has seen a lot of exciting in-season movement!