Rise of the Decepticons

Seven weeks in, the standings for this volatile division are exactly inverted from how they ended up last season. Up is down, down is up. Let’s take a look! [Pre-season Transformers look]

Eron, Joven, and Chandler (5-2)
In their second season in SlamNation, EJC jumped out of the gates at 4-1 before drifting a little back to Earth recently. Still, they’ve faced four other 5-2 teams and emerged a respectable 2-2 against them. Holding their own against tough competition is the mark of a team that’s going to compete all year long. For a franchise that only notched six wins all last season — and a mere five wins in 2012 — this winning stretch has to be reassuring.

EJC is the rare team led exclusively by forwards. Blake Griffin, Carmelo Anthony, Jeff Green, and Derrick Favors lead the team in GP and the top eight player rotation consists of six players with some type of forward eligibility! Ricky Rubio paces the team in AST and STL but Eron, Joven and Chandler are pretty weak there, ranking near the bottom of the league in both categories. However, all those big men mean they are high on REB/BLK, and there’s plenty of scoring on-board too. Nick Young and Ray Allen are around to sling some 3PT but short of Danny Granger coming back strong, EJC is lacking in the backcourt department something awful. Derrick Favors has emerged to the tune of 13.5 PTS, 9.2 REB, 1.4 BLK, 1.2 STL, and 52.2 FG%. While his Jazz teammate Enes Kanter hasn’t fared nearly as well, GM Lucas was able to unearth Jordan Hill for some excellent hustle stats. We’re still not entirely sold on the Green for Jeff Teague swap, but there’s not denying that this team has been rolling and will remain in contention for a division title.

Half Man Half ImAsian (5-2)
Nipping at EJC’s heels is Half Man Half ImAsian, who has some very interesting statistical strengths and weaknesses. They currently lead the league in REB and FG%, are strong in FT%/BLK/TO, and can’t shoot 3PT or accumulate any AST. On paper, this team is suffering from erratic help from anyone not named Kevin Durant, LaMarcus Aldridge, or Greg Monroe. There’s an especially big hole at point guard as the rotating spot features Randy Foye, Nate Robinson, and one game of Mario Chalmers. That’s not good. Tony Allen and rookie Ben McLemore share the shooting guard and backup guard positions but with J.J. Redick out, both have been pressed into service. There's no easy way to say this: McLemore has been quite disappointing. Could Oliver already be regretting drafting McLemore #1 overall ahead of Victor Oladipo, Michael Carter-Williams, and Trey Burke?

The good news is that Amir Johnson has been throwing up some eye popping stat lines during his last seven games: 17.1 PTS, 8.1 REB, 1.6 BLK. Along with Anderson Varejao, Johnson has helped mitigate the loss of JaVale McGee. And of course, Ersan Ilyasova won’t heat up till March or April as has now become tradition. All in all, Half Man Half ImAsian has become an intriguing semi-big ball team with Aldridge having a career year, plus the Monroe, Varejao, Johnson trio punishing front lines. Coming off a seven win season last year, they are just happy to be trending upward. However, how far can this team go with such a weak backcourt? Seriously, Randy Foye has played a team leading seven games at lead guard. Someone trade this team a point guard!

Squirtle Squad (3-4)
We thought Squirtle Squad would have their typical stroll into the playoffs but it looks like they’ve lost too many pieces this off-season and are struggling to stay around 0.500. Some of the regression has been by design, as Brian went heavy on young additions. However, Tobias Harris has been injured, Patrick Beverly averages nice STL but is stuck in a time share, rookie Kelly Olynyk hasn’t been near ready, and Brandan Wright is averaging 19.0 PTS but he’s only suited up for one game. Add in injury plagued Deron Williams and Bradley Beal and it’s easy to see why Squirtles have been hurting, and have gone 1-3 over their past four weeks.

So far Squirtles are ranked low in FG% and FT%, can’t REB or STL, and are absolute last in PTS. They have Serge Ibaka keeping them average in BLK but he needs more help than Nikola Vucevic can provide him with. Vucevic has been a 14.1 PTS, 11.4 REB, 1.1 STL, 1.0 BLK, 53.1 FG% monster so far though. (It would have been intersting to see this frontline with Brook Lopez and/or Greg Monroe still on board.) There is a silver lining to all this though. Williams, Harris, and Beal are all back from injury. The Greek Freak, Giannis Antetokounmpo, has been getting some playing time and that could prove very interesting very soon. With all his pieces back, Brian could soon pilot his slow starting team back to the top. We wouldn’t bet any money against that happening certainly. Greeeeek Freeeeeak!

LA Buffy (2-5)
We tried to say that Buffy was over the hill two years ago. They subsequently went 13-6 the following year and almost won a championship. Now they’ve lost four of their last five and are about to go three rounds against teams that are currently 17-4 on the season. They are last in FG%, last in STL, don’t have any areas of strengths save slightly above average in REB/BLK, and have suffered nagging or long term injuries to seven players who have suited up for them. Currently I see four players with “O” next to their Active Stats page.

There isn’t a 20.0 ppg scorer in sight. Heck, Joe Johnson leads this team in GP and points per game with 15.5 per game. Tim Duncan, Carlos Boozer, and Chris Bosh are all taking it easy so far this season for a variety of reasons -- and none of them are young. The only bright spot has been Tristan Thompson, who has been a nice surprise with 11.4 PTS, 10.0 REB, and um, 43.3 FG%. For a team of mostly big men, ranking last in FG% is embarrassing. Jeremy Lin has found his NBA game returned to him but quite frankly, Jameer Nelson has probably been a better fantasy point guard. Kirk Hinrich and Raymond Felton have been thrown into the fire, but both are, as you guessed: injured. Buffy isn’t headed toward a lost season necessarily but it could be time for a revamp or perhaps a reevaluation at least. Then again, last time we doubted Roger he came back strong so it's probably time to shut my mouth. Go Buffy!