Recap: Week 7

Inter-Conference Games
4-4, Fat Jubas vs Human Amoebas
5-4, Funk Coalition vs Pooh Bears

Conference Games
7-2, Chunky Monkeys vs Sour Snails
5-4, Buffy vs Phanatics
7-2, Poobic Heirs vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
7-2, Squirtle Squad vs Rhythm Drive
(statistics)

4-4, Fat Jubas vs Human Amoebas
The first "Battle of the Eric's" ends in, appropriately enough, a tie! As if providence wasn't looking over our league enough, this proves that higher powers are at work. With the Jubas narrowly edging out a high powered Amoeba team in PTS and STL, it looked like they would head toward a close victory but then that one last turnover left them all tied up. Penalty kicks anyone? Or do we settle this one with a wicked game of Magic? Hum...

The Jubas probably should have won this one in a walk except Jermaine O'Neal was on the bench and the injured Tracy McGrady started in his stead. The story of the week for Fat is the emergence of Al Jefferson (17.5 PTS, 11.25 REB, 2 BLK, 54.2 FG%), can he keep it up? The Amoebas have their own emerging star: Welcome back Marvin Williams! How does 17.25 PTS and 5.5 REB with a STL and BLK a game sound to you? Point guard Jason Kidd damn near averaged a triple-double this week on his way to leading this team to a tie.

5-4, Funk Coalition vs Pooh Bears
The Funk play a precarious game. Competitive in only a handful of categories, they ride a razor's edge and this week, they were lucky and used a late surge to take out Jose's PoohBears. They narrowly achieved victories in PTS, AST and 3PT. The real reason for their squeaker of a win: the high number of turnovers by the PoohBears. Everyone on this roster (outside of Tayshaun Prince) loves to turn over the ball -- averaging at least 2 TO a game this week. Andre Miller had 21 TOs himself (albeit with 33 assists).

After a rousing win over Rhythm Drive last week, the Bears barely lost this one in the closing seconds. Close but no cigar. The Coalition will be without the services of Carmelo for 15 games -- 34.75 PTS, 6.5 REB, 4.25 AST and 52.3 FG% this week -- and that could doom them to a month or so of losing. Having a top star go down (swinging or not) is going to doom any team; losing a top star on a team that barely wins as it is might equal upcoming blowouts.

7-2, Chunky Monkeys vs Sour Snails
Ouch, we all know the Snails are struggling but did you have to keep running up the score Evan? Sheesh. The Chunky Monkeys had the game locked up by the first quarter and just kept pouring it on, even attempting to score for the other team just to force overtime. Luckily, Trieu kept Artest on a short leash and decided not to engage in gentlemanly fisticuffs despite Isaiah-like motivation. If I were Evan, I'd keep an eye over my shoulder at all times...and stay out of the lane.

With a terrific 660 PTS, 237 REB, 54 STL, 44 BLK, 51.5 FG% and 44 3PT, the Monkeys might have achieved a week for the record books. Who ran the show? Of course there's the always spectacular Gilbert Arenas (37.3 PTS, 6 AST/REB, 3 STL, 4 3PT per) but the big news for the Monkeys is a sign of life from third round pick Josh Smith. He'll take 14.75 PTS, 8.75 REB, 4.75 AST, 2 STL, 3.75 BLK on 55.6 FG% any week of the month after fearing a semi-bust. The Monkeys are really rounding into shape mid-season and are looking like a terror.

The Snails are in a super slide and with Allen Iverson sitting, Jason Richardson ailing, and half the team on the trading block, look for some big moves here. We're still believers in this team, at least, we believe in a win coming before Week 12. That's my lock of the season, one win for the Snails before the All-Star Break. Book it. Outside of Steve Nash, this team is in total collapse -- no wonder AI wants out.

5-4, Buffy vs Phanatics
Roger's team has now won three straight and is looking to challenge for the divsion lead. Buffy actually had kind of an off week, nearly falling to an unbalanced Phanatics team that was without glue man Lamar Odom -- and Hedo Turkoglu. Ping's team put up quite a show, outshooting Roger (a very good 3PT team) from beyond the arc and winning that category by just 1 -- 46 to 45 3PT. Credit the outstanding fireworks to Paul Pierce and Vince Carter, who dropped in 16 and 17 3PT respectively.

Buffy was suffering from the loss of Joe Johnson, who was only able to contribute one game and a pedestrian one at that. However, Baron Davis, Rashard Lewis, and Chris Paul are still hot so we can't see this winning streak stopping soon. Despite a close loss this week, the Phanatics are in a bit of a pickle. They aren't the most diversified team and while they are definitely very talented, injuries are starting to take a toll (Odom, Hedo, David West, Drew Gooden). Plus, some of the players on this team aren't really helping the bottom line. Still, this team doesn't look too bad and with a few tweaks, they can put a stop to this four game skid.

7-2, Poobic Heirs vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
Oh wait, did we say that Evan had the best week ever? Maybe Oliver might have something to say about that. How's 734 PTS, 227 REB, 36 STL, 49 3PT, 50.3 FG%, and 83.8 FT% (and an eyebrow raising 111 TO)? Sure the Poobic Heirs would have lost to the Monkeys this week, 4 to 5, if they faced off but look at those numbers. 734 points! -- that's the area code for Ann Arbor btw, but us Michigan folk knew that.

Only one man can be responsible for that kind of dominance...Yao Ming! Just kidding. While Yao had an outstanding week (32.75 PTS, 12 REB, 3.25 BLK), it was Kobe Bryant who jacked up 154 PTS, with 15 3PT, in four games. Whew, this is the one-two scoring punch Oliver was looking for when Kobe dropped to him in the first round. Yao-za.

While the Pogiboys aren't quite winning games yet, at least they're showing some signs of life. A creature was stirring and it wasn't a mouse. Point guards Stephon Marbury (16.5 PTS, 4.5 AST) and Speedy Claxton (8 AST, 3 STL avg) are playing better so hope is on the horizon.

7-2, Squirtle Squad vs Rhythm Drive
Reno once ruled the roost but with two games sinking them to .500, they're on the verge of droppnig further in the rankings as Chris Bosh heads to the ranks of the injured. Replacing Bosh will be nigh-impossible since he's the only true scoring threat on this team; Adam Morrison doesn't count, he's too streaky. More importantly, Bosh anchored the team with his fine percentages and his contributions to REB and BLK are necessary for Rhythm Drive to compete. With AST, STL, and 3PT already ranking at the bottom of the league, Reno may want to consider moving his smalls and going even bigger. For now though, with the personification of the Raptor's logo out indefinitely, Reno could be in for some tough times.

You know who is king of the castle nowadays? It's Squirtle Squad, helmed by the legendary fantasy owner Brian. He's proving that his reputation for sports acumen and success is well deserved as he muscles his way to the best record in the league on the strength of five straight wins. How good are they? Near the tail end of the week, I thought they would take out Reno in a complete sweep of the categories. Despite playing four more games than Rhythm Drive, the Squirtles only lost TO by 4 and with two more 3PT, they would have won that category too. Epic, a potential 9-0 win.

The only area of concern here? Ray Allen's health, but it looks like he's returning sooner than expected. And watch out, Brandon Roy is returning too. Plus, Boris Diaw is starting to heat up (14.75 PTS, 8.25 REB, 6 AST, 1 STL/BLK/3PT on great percentages). Can the rich get any richer? Apparently the answer is "yes."

What I'd like to know is if Brian is able to extend his fantasy football championship streak alive this year, someone keep me updated!