Western Powers

Chunky Monkeys (3-0)
It hasn't been easy but Evan's Monkeys prove that they deserved to be in the Finals last year, despite suffering through a series with half of their top players missing. So far however, they've proven to be the cream of the Western Conference. Led by a healthy Joe Johnson, who is leading the charge with 23 PTS, 4 REB, 6 AST and 2 3PT per game. Jason Terry is also pushing for Sixth Man of the Year and he's been shotting an astonishing 54.9 FG% on his way to 20 PTS and 3.7 3PT a game. Oh wait, Manu Ginobili might take the Sixth Man Award this year, as he's going nutty with 20 PTS, 5 AST/REB and 2 STL/3PT a game.

With a such a solid backcourt, it hasn't hurt the Monkeys to have Gilbert Arenas suffereing from 38.7 FG% and only 22 PTS. Let's not forget about Josh Smith here either, as he's going out and producing 19 PTS, 7 REB, 2.4 STL, and 3.6 BLK a night. Wowza! This team is proving to be balanced and overall, much stronger than last year's excellent contending version.

Buffy (2-1)
Despite the loss of Elton Brand in pre-season, Buffy is still holding on to second place in the early going. With eight players averaging 15 points or more per game, this is a high scoring bunch. Baron Davis is contributing 9 AST and 1.5 STL/3PT a night, Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford combine for 32 PTS , 11 AST, 2.5 STL/3PT a game. Antawn Jamison is still nearly a 20-10 player (with 2.3 3PT to boot) and Rashard Lewis is popping 3PTs (3 a game) like nobody's business. Add in Tim Duncan and it's safe to say that losing Elton Brand, while slowing down Buffy, hasn't hobbled them in the least.

Fat Jubas (2-1)
The kings of the West last season, the Jubas were riding high before they got blasted by a rising Monkeys team this past week. Still, they are barely getting the full services of Dwayne Wade back -- despite losing Tracy McGrady for a few games -- so the Jubas should easily be in contention this season. They still have Tony Parker (18 PTS, 6 AST), Andre Igoudala (18 PTS, 6.7 REB, 5 AST, 1.9 STL), Josh Howard (23 PTS, 6 REB), Corey Maggette (20 PTS, 7.5 REB), Leandro Barbosa (20 PTS, 1.7 STL, 2.8 3PT), Al Jefferson (19.5 PTS, 11 REB), and LaMarcus Aldridge (19.5 PTS, 8 REB). Oh, did we already mention Wade and McGrady? Even rookie Yi Jianlian is showing signs of fantasy significance with 1.8 BLKs a game and some improving numbers. The only disappointment so far this season is Jermaine O'Neal's 13 PTs, 7.6 REB, and only 1.6 BLK per game.

Funk Coalition (0-3)
As always, the Funk have more point guards than you can shake a stick at. Raymond Felton, Jameer Nelson, Rafer Alston, Randy Foye, Kyle Lowry, Acie Law, and Sebastian Telfair. The problem is, all of these players have taken a step back -- excepting Jameer Nelson (13.8 PTS, 6.5 AST, 1.2 STL). AST and STL isn't the problem here, PTS and roster depth is. Lebron James is still a monster (29 PTS, 8 REB/AST, 1.8 STL) and Carmelo Anthony and Michael Redd are scoring machines -- albeit slightly less this year, combining for only 38 PTS per game but the end of this roster is ugly. The Big Three and the seven point guards might not be enough this year, so maybe a change is in order?

Sour Snails (0-3)
Hey, at least the Snails aren't in last! They haven't won yet but they've scored more categories than the Phanatics so are out of last place for the first time in their history! Schedule a parade! The Snails are actually looking pretty good. Holdovers Steve Nash and Iverson are combining for 45 PTS, 18 AST, 3 STL, 3.5 3PT a game. While Steven Jackson and Ron Artest are just starting to get into the swing of things and Jason Richardson has been struggling (41.7 FG%, 18 PTS, 2.5 3PT), there's signs of life here with new additions Kelenna Azubuike (17 PTS, 5.5 REB, 1.8 3PT), Damien Wilkins (16.6 PTS, 5.6 REB, 1.6 3PT), and of course, rookie Kevin Durant (37.4 FG%, 19 PTS, 1.3 STL/3PT), who's turning out to be a scoring machine. Hedo Turkoglu has been a nice surprise with 17 PTS, 6 REB, 4 AST, 1.2 STL and 1.8 3PT. Who is this guy?! How the pieces mesh together will be crucial for this team since they should have the players to become respectable at least.

Phanatics (0-3)
An ultra-talented team on paper continues to collapse under the weight of injuries and general mismanagement. Paul Pierce and Richard Jefferson are back to their old selves. David West (19 PTS, 7 REB, 1 STL/BLK), Drew Gooden (14 PTS, 10 REB), Al Harrington (20 PTS, 2.4 3PT), Lamar Odom (14.8 PTS, 8.8 REB), and Marcus Camby (13.5 REB, 1.4 STL, 3.3 BLK) are doing as expected and the roster is stacked top to bottom. What's the problem? Well, for one, Vince Carter has missed five games already and even when he was plaig, he was timid and put up only 17 PTS with 0.5 3PT. The piont guard situation on this team is atrocious. Luke Ridnour is injured, Ear Watson is well, Earl Watson, and Marcus Williams and Mike Conley is injured. This team has the talent to go far but they need a direction and a purpose.

Eastern Bloc

The Poobic Heirs (2-0)
The defending champions are asserting their regular season dominance already. With two wins and 14 categories won, they're clearly the cream of the crop in the early going. Kobe Bryant is averaging 30-7-5 and almost two STLs a game. Yao Ming has been dominating with 24-10 and 2.7 BLKs. Additional firepower has been coming in the form of Kevin Martin (28 PTS, 1.5 3PT). Rasheed Wallace has been impressive with 15-7 and more importantly, 1.5 BLK and STL. With Ricky Davis, Udonis Haslem, Devin Harris and Monta Ellis all contributing, the Heirs are looking very solid. The only guy underperforming is point guard Kirk Hinrich, who has been averaging only 9 PTS, 5.7 AST, and half a 3PT a game.

Squirtle Squad (2-0)
Last year's dominant regular season team, the Squirtles have also jumped out to a 2-0 record. Kevin Garnett hasn't lost a step in Boston and he and Boozer are putting up a combined 48 PTS, 28 REB, 9 AST and 3 STL and 2 BLK a game. Last year's rookie of the year, Brandon Roy has clearly stepped up his game by averaging 20 PTS, 6 AST, and chipping with just over one 3PT a game. Of course, Ray Allen is killing from beyond the arc with 3.5 3PT a game and also a healthy 23 PTS average. Plug in the further emergence of Deron Williams (21 PTS, 10 AST, 1.7 3PT) and this team's core is as strong as ever. If young contributers like Ronnie Brewer, David Lee, Martell Webster, and Andres Nocioni can continue to perform the Squad might not lose for a long time.

Jedi Knights (1-1)
New owner Superlum has wasted no introducing their team to the league. While the team is hardly firing on all cylinders, they have managed to put up 13 points scored, which is just a hair behind the Poobic Heirs. Big men and draft mates Dwight Howard and Emeka Okafor are averaging 34 PTS, 28 REB, and 2 BLK a game. While Chris Bosh has been slow to get going (16 PTS, 6.7 REB, 1.6 BLK), he will soon return to double double status. Filling in the stat sheet for him has been old man Zydrunas Ilgauskas, who's been dumping 17.6 PTS and 13 REB a game. Actually, of biggest concern is the ice cold start by Luol Deng, who is putting up just 14 PTS and 5 REB a game. C'mon Luol! The Jedi will have to find some help in the backcourt though, as Sam Cassell, Steve Francis, Nate Robinson, and Mike Miller have been shooting like they're aiming to miss.

100AcreWoodPoohBears (1-1)
With the most intriguing roster in the league, the Pooh Bears have been always swimming right on the cusp of respectability. The problem is, they don't have enough standout stars. Shawn Marion is certainly a fantasy god (16.4 PTS, 12.9 REB, 2.7 STL, 1 BLK/3PT) but beyond that, it's been a slow start overall. Peja Stojakovic is healthy but streaky (3.1 3PT). Pau Gasol isn't near his normal 20-10 numbers (16-6) and Andre Miller is only putting up 4.7 AST a game (along with 13.8 PTS and 5 REB). Andrei Kirilenko (10.9 PT, 7.1 REB, 6.4 AST, 1.6 STL, 2.1 BLK) has stepped up his all around game though, which is a huge relief for Pooh Bears' management. Ben Gordon, Josh Childress, and Tayshaun Prince need to kick it up a notch. The injury to Mike Bibby is clearly hurting this team. A big bright spot has been the play of forward Chris Wilcox, who's contributing 16 PTS and 9 REB a night.

Human Amoebas (1-1)
Without Amare Stoudemire, the Amoebas lose much of their pizzaz. With only 13 PTS and 5 REB a game (with 1.3 STL/BLK), Amare has been bothered by knee problems this season. Marvin Williams is showing the promise of a #2 overall pick with 17.5 PTS and 6.2 REB but center Ben Wallace has been horrific -- shooting 32.1 FG%, 4.8 REB, and just 1.2 BLK a game. Jason Kidd is flirting with a triple double average (9.5-8.0-10.5) but Jarrett Jack has virtually fallen off the planet. Boobie Gibson has been a stellar pickup aas he continues to drain 2.7 3PT a game on his way to 12.4 PTS and 1.4 STL. Dirk and Zach are doing about as expected (40 PTS, 22 REB, 6 AST combined) but it's clear that Dirk's days as a STL/BLK/3PT machine are over. The only veteran really tearing it up? Rip Hamilton, who is putting up an astounding 6.5 AST to go with 20 PTS and 4.5 REB.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (0-2)
New season, same problems. With two losses to start the season, Alvin's squad isn't exactly off to a terrific start. To be fair, they've faced two Western Conference powerhouses in the process so maybe it's just unfortunate scheduling. The team itself is showing lots of promise. Point guards Chris Paul (18 PTS, 11 AST, 2.9 STL) and Chauncey Billups (17.5 PTS, 6.7 AST, 1.8 STL, 2.2 3PT) are clearly the heart and soul of the team. Rudy Gay, Chris Kaman, and Tyrus Thomas have stepped up this season. Kaman especially is doing an excellent Elton Brand impersonation with 18.8 PTS, 13.5 REB, 1.8 BLK. The additions of John Salmons (20-4-4, 1.8 STL) and rookie Al Horford (8.5 PTS, 10 REB, 1.3 STL/BLK) fill out the roster at the forward spots. The big question is when young big men Darko Milicic, Channing Frye, and Andrew Bynum will step up and contribute. How's Crash Wallace doing by the way? Not too hot, shooting 39.3 FG%, with only 0.3 BLK and 15.8 PTS. The two STLs a game are nice but G Wallace is off to another super slow start, just like the Pogis.

Think Big!

With a highly anticipated kickoff to the 2007-2008 season, SlamNation endured quite the exciting summer. For one, how about defending champion Poobic Heirs having their best player, Kobe Bryant, demand to be traded? Perhaps he’s unhappy sharing the limelight with yet another dominant big man, Yao Ming. Kobe is an all world player but his selfishness is uncharted and unparalleled. Will he sit out the season and force a trade? Let’s hope so.

A few other big trades shook the off-season, none bigger than Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen joining forces with The Truth in Boston. Can Garnett and Ray-Ray still put up their stellar numbers? Heck, can Zach Randolph co-exist with Eddy Curry anywhere except the buffet table? The biggest impact from the off-season may have been an injury to Elton Brand. Roger’s Buffy team is deep but losing the equivalent of their first round pick for most of the year could really hurt. With that setting the stage for our new season, let’s take a look at off-season changes and additions for each team.

(1) Sour Snails
It wasn’t easy but somehow Trieu’s embattled team took the Toilet Bowl Championship and earned the right to draft first. As it turned out, this was the only no-brainer pick of the supplemental draft. Adding the ultra-talented Kevin Durant will surely lead the Snails to bigger and better days. To be honest though, the draft day move with the biggest impact for the Snails might have been Jason Richardson’s trade to Charlotte. He’ll become the offensive cornerstone and could easily set career marks in many categories.

Wally Szerbiak, Mark Blount, Jason Kapono, Ime Udoka, and Ryan Gomes also changed teams this summer but their fantasy values should stay about the same. Adding Juan Carlos Navarro, “La Bomba,” could give the Snails yet another shooter to compete with this season. Hopes are high for a stellar year.

(2) MoRRie’s Pogiboys
Turns out losing out on the number one pick had huge repercussions for the Pogiboys. Instead of being able to draft Durant or Greg Oden, Alvin was forced to go another direction after Oden’s season ending knee surgery. Ouch. The good news is that rookie Al Horford has a big butt and will likely start at power forward for the Hawks. If he can produce a good number of REB and a BLK or two, Alvin will be satisfied.

Not a lot more changes affected Alvin’s roster, unless you count Chucky Atkins, Steve Blake, and Darko Milicic moving teams big news. Growth for this team will have to come from Rudy Gay, Hakim Warrick, Darko Milicic, Tyrus Thomas, and Andrew Bynum learning fast. Second round pick Derek Fisher should provide plenty of 3PTs but probably not much else. Point guard is a strength with the C+C Assist Factory, Chris Paul and Chauncey Billups.

(3) Phanatics
Nobody knows where on Earth Ping is but his team is geared up and ready to play this season. Paul Pierce may have added two Hall of Famers on his team over the summer but he’ll still get his. Vince Carter re-upped with the Nets, and more importantly, Jason Kidd. This team is deep all the way down to the core. Lamar Odom, Richard Jefferson, David West, Marcus Camby, and Al Harrington all have significant fantasy value.

There is a lack of serviceable point guards on the roster so Ping’s hoping first round pick Mike Conley will be able to contribute soon. If Travis Outlaw can get more playing time in Portland, he should be able to average 1.5 STL/BLK per game and help the Phanatics round out their strong PTS/REB/3PT game.

(4) 100AcrePoohBears
Despite entering the Toilet Bowl as the best (worst) team, the Pooh Bears were dispatched quickly and even lost the consolation game to the Phanatics. That meant they would have to settle for the fourth pick in the draft. Drafting rookies Jeff Green and Rodney Stuckey might be more useful next year than this year. Green has a chance at lots of playing time but all scouting reports indicate that he’ll be Shane Battier-lite, and maybe not this year. Two of J’s top players went through a summer of discontent, as Shawn Marion and Andrei Kirilenko adamantly wanted out of their current situations. In the end, both will stay with their NBA teams and play out the season. Currently, Anderson Varejao isn’t even signed and is holding out. Point guard Mike Bibby is injured and out for up to ten weeks so the Pooh Bears may be in for some tough times in the backcourt unless Brevin Knight can take over point guard duties in Clipperland.

(5) Human Amoebas
Unsure of how his fully stacked team didn’t win the whole enchilada last year, Eric-A has redoubled his efforts and promises to make at least one roster move this season. Last year, Eric-A didn’t have one waiver move or trade on his way to an 11-9-1 season. With no big changes from the off-season, Eric-A can look forward to the growth from Andrea Bargnani and Marvin Williams.

Supplemental draft picks Luis Scola and Spencer Hawes are both big men who should be able to contribute down the line. Scola is a bulldog and will get lots of REB next to Yao. Hawes is more of a project and will likely learn from Brad Miller this year. The key to the team will be simply filling out the middle of the roster as Dirk, Amare, and Kidd cover all the basics. Can Raja Bell, Quentin Richardson, and Jarrett Jacks continue to produce?

(6) Funk Coalition
With a roster full of point guards, Jon surprised no one by drafting two more, rookie Acie Earl IV and sophmore Kyle Lowry. Both will be involved in time shares but could provide the essential AST and STL needed to power the Funk engine. With Rafer Alston and Smush Parker now solidly stuck in a double (or triple) point guard situation, Jon will need his young guys to step up quick. The biggest question may be how many minutes Randy Foye will receive in Minnesota and what kind of stats he can put up. Aside from that, it's more of the same from a thin squad beyond Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Michael Redd. Here's hoping Jameer Nelson, Raymond Felton, and even TJ Ford step it up another notch.

(7) Jedi Knights
With DJ Reno stepping down due to personal reasons, we welcome his replacement owner, the ultra-competitive and knowledgeable Superlum! With a roster that leans toward huge (C Bosh, D Howard, E Okafor, B Miller, Z Ilgauskas), Chris wasted no time adding to his strengths by drafting Al Thornton, who should get plenty of time with Elton Brand out for a significant stretch of time. Looking to open up the floor with some shooting, Lum also drafted Morris Peterson, who should have plenty of chances to fire it up on New Orleans. Indications are that Nate Robinson could be in for a big year so as long as Luol Deng and Mike Miller continue their success from last season, Chris' team will be in good shape.

(8) Buffy
There's no way around it, the loss of Elton Brand hurts. Having traded away Chris Paul for Elton late last season, Buffy won't have much to show for the exchange until after the All Star break. Then again, Stephon Marbury isn't a bad point guard himself so there's a chance Roger's team will remain competitive throughout the season even without Brand. Drafting Kenyon Martin could prove to be a savvy move and if he and the team's other draft pick, multi-talented rookie Corey Brewer can step in, this team will still challenge for the deepest in the league. Rashard Lewis moved to Orlando and will probably set career highs in PTS and 3PT alongside Dwight Howard. The key will be if Baron Davis can stay healthy, as always.

(9) Squirtle Squad
The regular season Eastern Conference champion hasn't changed much over the off-season. Ray Allen may lose some numbers by being in Beantown but Kevin Garnett and Carlos Boozer form one of the best frontcourts in the league. Point guard Deron Williams is a full fledged fantasy star and Brandon Roy will emerge as one also (if he can ever stay healthy). The big question is if Boris Diaw will contribute anything this season with Kurt Thomas' departure from the Valley of the Sun.

By drafting Ronnie Brewer and Martell Webster, Brian is hoping that he can get some additional shooting to shore up his lineup. The sleeper here is Jason Maxiell, who scouts say could be ready for a big role in Detroit. The return of Nenad Krstic will help this team too and there's no reason why the Squirtles won't be a formidable opponent this year.

(10) Fat Jubas
Here's the regular season champion (16-4-1 record) back for another shot at glory after underachieving in the post-season. Last year, the Jubas were derailed by injuries to Dwayne Wade, Jermaine O'Neal, and Tracy McGrady. This time around, Wade's still hurt but the talent level has probably increased. Power forward Al Jefferson is now the man in Minnesota. Lamarcus Aldridge will become a scary fantasy force. The addition of the mysterious Yi Jianlian could pay big dividends later this season. Burly sophmore Rashad McCants might emerge as a sleeper also. All in all, with Wade, McGrady, J O'Neal, A Igoudala, T Parker, J Howard, L Barbosa, and Corey Maggette in a featured role, Eric-L's team will still be the favorite to win the West.

(11) Chunky Monkeys
The Monkeys made the Finals last year but had a backcourt that included the likes of Mardy Collins and Allan Ray. Not good. Suffering from significant injuries all around even as they pushed to the last week of the season, the Monkeys are looking to stay healthy this year in order to put up a real fight on their way to a championship.

With Gilbert Arenas, Joe Johnson, and Josh Smith anchoring a nicely balanced team, Evan is hoping that young guys like Danny Granger, Rajon Rondo, Andrei Biedrins, draft picks Marco Belinelli and Craig Smith can step up to the plate and hit their some fantasy home runs. Last year's revelation was guard Mo Williams and he'll probably put up similar numbers as he re-upped with the Bucks.

(12) Poobic Heirs
What do you add to a championship team? How about the number one pick in this year's NBA draft? Okay, okay, Greg Oden won't be available all of 2007-2008 but next year, he could turn out to be a tremendous value selection for Oliver. If any team can have the patience to wait on Mr.Oden, it's this one. With good players all the way to the bottom of the roster, the Heirs passed up on their second round supplemental pick as they elected to hold onto everyone from last year's team, save Jeff Foster.

It's hard not to argue with a starting lineup that features an underrated Kirk Hinrich, all world Kobe Bryant, monster thief Caron Butler, mercurial Rasheed Wallace, and Yao Ming. With a second five that consists of Ricky Davis, Andrew Bogut, Kevin Martin, Monta Ellis, and Shane Battier, Oliver's team should be stacked once again. After spurting through the playoffs despite a barely over 0.500 record, nobody will take the Poobic Heirs lightly again.

2007 Championships

6-3, The Poobic Heirs vs Chunky Monkeys
While I wouldn't go so far as the say that our Finals were anti-climatic, it's no stretch to say that the odds were against a big upset. We already covered the numerous injuries to both teams and the bad luck that befell every conference finalist. Our playoffs turned into a battle of the best man standing.

The Monkeys stumbled into the Finals, the Heirs were the dark horse from mid-season on. It came down to who had the biggest star. Who could take their team on his back and win a championship? In the end, the Heirs took it all -- with Kobe leading the way. Ricky Davis and Yao Ming played a big part in the victory but to be honest, this game was over before it began.

The Monkey's best player? Um, Danny Granger? Nate Robinson? Mardy Collins (who is this guy)? Rajon Rondo or Mo Williams? Yeah, Ricky D by himself is probably better than any of these guys. Distraught over his embarassing loss, GM Evan lashed out at his staff and fired his trainer, his assistant secretary, and Cintas, his uniform people. Asked about his plans for next year, Evan responded with "Basketball? What's that? I'm out to defend my fantasy football title. Peyton, LT, LJ, TO, AJohnson; keeper team, what!?"

In the adjoining locker room, Oliver's Poobic Heirs were celebrating, pouring champagne, using Nair, and generally getting rowdy. When the team owner was asked about his thoughts on an epic season, what did he say? Well, there was no response. Oliver was passed out from his Zima-lite and decided to take a little nappy. Instead, Vanessa Bryant stepped to the podium and announced that she would be leaving Kobe and the Heirs for greener pastures. And that she wanted the championship ring as a severance package too. Size five for Vanessa please.

Yao Ming, when asked about his plans for the future, now that he was rid of Tracy McGrady and one up on NBA championships over Wang Zhi-Zhi and Mengke Bateer, responded with: "Wo ai ni. Wo hen ugh." The Big Talker he isn't yet.

So, after many months and an entertaining, and educational season, our champion? From the Eastern Conference, hailing from the wilds of Michigan, Oliver and his Poobic Heirs!

SlamNation Finals 2007

Chunky Monkeys vs Poobic Heirs
It's not a joyous day for the Monkeys. Despite reaching the Finals and having a chance to capture a football and basketball championship in the same year, they'll need a miracle -- a literal miracle -- to win. Check out their bench: Gilbert Arenas, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Tyson Chandler, and Charlie Villanueva. That's the top three players for the Monkeys riding the pine -- to to mention their REB and BLK anchor.

What's left? Um, the Knicks and Celtics backcourt (Nate Robinson/Mardy Collins and Rajon Rondo/Allan Ray respectively) along with Manu Ginobili, Jason Terry, and Mo Williams. The front line? Mehmet Okur, Andris Biedrins, and Danny Granger. Remember when the Knicks blitzed to the Finals without Patrick Ewing that year? Well, this is the 2007 Monkeys. They're at the big show but so hobbled that they might as well just get drunk every night and forget the actual games.

The Poobic Heirs aren't supremely healthy themselves, but they can withstand the loss of Caron Butler and Andrew Bogut just fine. They still have Kobe and Yao (dinged up), and the rest of their team isn't exactly trash time scrubs. Kirk Hinrich, Ricky Davis, Kevin Martin, and Monta Ellis are an All-Legends team compared to what Evan is fielding. Samuel Dalembert, Rasheed Wallace, and Antonio McDyess are good enough to cancel anything Okur, Biedrins, and Granger can throw up. Plus, this team fields the ultimate glue guy, Shane Battier, as tenth man. Are the Heirs destined for a championship? Sure looks like it to this prognosticator. If not, this would be the greatest upset since Douglas-Tyson.

But hey, that's why they play the game right? Even if it's definitely a low-wattage event.

Note: Championship Week ends Sunday night even though the schedule is set up until after that.

Conference Finals: Recap

WESTERN CONFERENCE
5-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Fat Jubas
Talk about the battle of the invalids. Fat Jubas were already hurting without Dwayne Wade and Jermaine O'Neal, but then Tracy McGrady, Kwame Brown, Al Jefferson, Josh Howard, and Zaza Pachulia decided to all take a hit to the proverbial groin too. Cakewalk for their opponents, the Monkeys right? Well, not quite. The Monkeys were already without the services of Joe Johnson and Charlie Villanueva. They lost Gilbert Arenas and Tyson Chandler during the week, and Mo Williams for a bit too. Ouch.

So really, it was like a 5-on-5 game this week and both West "contenders" suffered from major injuries. In the end, the Monkeys squeaked this one out (by 5 STL and 4 BLK) but really, they're less prepared for the Finals since their depth is hardly anything to envy. Josh Smith will now have to carry the team -- and he's capable, with 20 PTS, 10 REB, 2 BLK avg last week -- but he may be suspended. Woo-ha! Can Jason Terry, Manu Ginobili, Mehmet Okur, and Danny Granger carry this team to a championship? Ugh....

EASTERN CONFERENCE
5-4, Poobic Heirs vs Squirtle Squad
Things were a little better injury wise in the East. Barely. The only injury casualty was Yao Ming for the Heirs and Jamaal Tinsley and Delonte West for the Squirtles. Then again, given the injury ravaged state of the Squad (already minus Ray Allen, Nenad Krstic, David Lee, Andres Nocioni), they put up a good enough fight -- led by Walter Herrman of all people in PTS (71 in four games) -- but ended up just one category short.

The Heirs actually could have won in a landslide since they only lost REB by 1 and 3PT by 2. For the Heirs, it's the Kobe Bryant show, as he single-handedly pumped in 37 PTS, 5 AST, and 1.5 STL/BLK. Can Kobe lead this team toward a championship? It sure looks possible against the injury ravaged Monkeys.

TOILET BOWL
5-4, Sour Snails vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
For the two worst teams in the league go the two best draft positions. The Snails really picked it up and took their last few games of the season, putting up an astounding final week stat line of 154 AST, 56 STL, and 62 3PT. In fact, both the Snails and Pogiboys stayed relatively healthy (playing 36 and 32 games respectively for the week) and would have had a great showing in the real playoffs. What if...

In the end, it was Allen Iverson (23 PTS and 6 AST avg), Steve Nash (53.3 FG%, 12 AST per), Ron Artest (2.5 STL avg), and Jason Richardson (17 3PT) finally coming through for the Snails, all in one week. In a week where Florida's 04's won the championship, Trieu's top four picks win the choice of selecting Kevin Durant or Greg Oden. Not bad for a team given up for dead eh?

Toilet Bowl Consolidation
7-2, Phanatics vs Pooh Bears
In a shellacking, the Phanatics win the #3 pick in the draft, meaning that the Pooh Bears, holders of the best record among all Toilet Bowl contestants, ends up with the worst lottery pick. Weird hunh?

2006 Awards

Time to hand out the hardware for our initial foray into fantasy basketball. There were a lot of ups-and-downs, there were some disputes on what kind of scoring system to use, there was a lengthy (but very exciting) email draft. There were a ton of injuries, there were some teams that suffered so bad I wanted to rent them Lebron James. In the end however, it was a very exciting season and I hope our next season will be even better. Heading into our championship weeks, let's take a look at who deserves MVP and GM of the year honors.

Most Valuable Player
What makes a MVP? Is it someone who has the best stats? Yes. Is it someone who makes everyone around him better? Um, no, this isn't real basketballl, this is still fantasy. What we looked for were players who were the best on their teams, and also stayed healthy long enough to contribute to a winning season - which eliminated about two-thirds of our candidates.

Tim Duncan and Lebron James tanked FT% for their teams. Out. Chris Bosh was a contender, but he missed about a dozen games. Kobe Bryant was right up there, but he only took the Poobic Heirs to an 11-9-1 record.

With those worthy candidates accounted for, our MVP for 2006 was an easy choice: Da Kid, Kevin Garnett!

Drafted seventh (behind LBJ, Dirk, Dwayne, Marion, Kobe, Arenas), Kevin Garnett used to be a lock as the first pick in any fantasy draft. Brian took advantage of Garnett's freefall and swooped up his 22.8 PTS, 12.9 REB, 4.2 AST, 1.2 STL, and 1.7 BLK on 47.9 FG% and 83.9 FT%. Plus KG hasn't missed a game this season and he continues to be an eight-category stud. Pacing Brian's East leading Squirtle Squad to a 14-7 record, KG was solid all year and will take home our inaugural MVP trophy.

Runners Up:
Dirk Nowitzki had an excellent year, averaging 24.9 PTS, 9.2 REB, 3.4 AST, and shooting a stellar 50.1 FG% and 90.3 FT% (plus super low TOs). Sounds comparable to Garnett, if not better, except that Dirk's STL-BLK-3PT numbers fell off this year. It used to be Dirk could be counted on for one STL/BLK/3PT a game, but this year, he only managed to swipe 0.7 STL and block 0.8 BLK per game. His 3PT fell to just under one per game also. Close for the big German, but the fact that the Amoebas only squeaked intot the playoffs discounted Nowitzki from serious consideration.

Our other runner-up started the season on fire, or should I say, on hibachi. He cooled off a bit right before the All-Star break but he still put up stellar averages of 28.8 PTS, 4.6 REB, 6.1 AST, 1.9 STL and an astonishing 2.8 3PT per game. Gilbert Arenas led the in-flux Chunky Monkeys to a 12-5-4 record, good enough to be tied for second best record in the league. He didn't miss a game all season and he shoots 84.7% from the stripe. But, and the big but here, is that Arenas can win you games, but when he's cold, he can also shoot you out of games with his less than stellar 41.8 FG%. That's the only thing preventing him from being higher in our MVP consideration.

GM of the Year
It's no surprise who our GM of the Year is; Fat Jubas' Eric-L has assembled a powerhouse of a team (best record this year at 16-4-1) by drafting wisely, being quick to grab free agents, and even making a trade to firm up his depleted backcourt when the playoffs hit. They finished the season on a five game winning streak, despite losing top pick Dwayne Wade for around that length of time.

How'd he do it? First, the excellent draft yielded versatile superstars Dwayne Wade and Tracy McGrady in the first two rounds. Then oft-injured Jermaine O'Neal fell to them in Rd3, and he turned in a (relatively) healthy season with 9.8 REB and 2.7 BLK.

Then came Eric-L's steals: Andre Igoudala in Rd4, Tony Parker in Rd5, and Josh Howard in Rd7. Then came Eric-L's super steals. Leandro Barbosa in Rd9 and Al Jefferson in Rd12.

Playing the free agent wire 29 times, the Jubas came away with Lamarcus Aldridge, right as he looks ready to be a fantasy star. A trade with the Pogiboys turned young talents Tyrus Thomas and Darko Milicic into Jason Williams, who is now helping the Jubas offset the loss of Wade in the fantasy playoffs.

Deep, talented, and rolling, Eric-L put together a stellar team powered by a strong draft and a keen eye for talent. Executive of the Year: Eric-L!

A special shout out goes to the Human Amoebas' Eric-A, who managed to go through the season not making one waiver wire addition or drop. The Phanatics' Ping and PoohBears' J were the co-runners up here, with only 2 and 4 transactions apiece. Eric-A, in response to why he made no moves, replied, "There just wasn't anything out there better than what I had already. I'm a big believer in team unity. The Amoebas, we assimilate, not defecate."

Toilet Bowl: Round 1 Recap

The Toilet Bowl may be for the losers but the games are certainly anything but crap. Two games that came down to the wire and both the favored teams ended up losing. Check it out:

5-4, MoRRie's Pogiboys vs Pooh Bears
In a game that made Alvin and his fans stutter with fear, the Pogiboys accomplished their goal: getting one of the top two picks in next year's draft. The Pooh Bears made up a minu-12 deficit in AST in a flash on Sunday and the race was on to win that crucial game tilting category.

With the Pogiboys already suffering from missed games from Chucky Atkins and Darko Milicic, they needed every one of Rudy Gay and Hakim Warrick's extra games this week (5 games for the Grizzlies). Chris Paul had a pretty sorry week (12.7 PTS, 6 AST) but he still managed to contribute 3 STL a game.

As for J's Pooh Bears, Pau Gasol (17.4 PTS, 9.6 REB, 4.4 AST) and Ben Gordon (23.5 PTS, 2 3PT) pulled their weight, as did Shawn Marion (7 BLK) and Andre Miller (8 AST per) but Mike Bibby couldn't come through, especially on Sunday night, as he totaled just 6 AST on the week. In the end, it was a stunning finish as the recently acquired Steve Blake powered the Pogiboys to victory (AST 126-122) with his 7 AST Sunday night. Steve Blake, hero?!

6-3, Sour Snails vs Phanatics
Perhaps due to its low profile, everyone ignored what was probably the best comeback of the year as the Sour Snails rallied back on Sunday to overtake the Phanatics and propel themselves into a top-2 pick.

How'd they do it? Well, we're not quite sure because the national attention was on other games this week. But in a battle of "Are we the worst GMs?," it looks like Trieu had the last laugh as his Golden Warriors -- Stephen Jackson (20.7 PTS, 3.3 3PT) and Jason Richardson (exact same PTS, 3PT) -- poured it on and secured a victory, even without the service of Ime Udoka. Who? Nevermind. Steve Nash's 10 AST per game and perfect free-throw shooting turned out to be instrumental in giving the Snails the win.

The Phanatics had this thing all sewn up but then, as the rest of the season has been for them, injuries hit. Paul Pierce sat out a few games, Lamar Odom took a seat, and point guards Luke Ridnour and Earl Watson (combined for 52 AST and 14 STL) were consigned to the bench. The Phanatics lost AST by 20 and STL by 2. Hum... Hard to fault Ping though, since everyone in his lineup deserved to be there.

We'll have to watch this one on SlamNation Classic since nobody really knows how the Snails took down the Phanatics, but they did!

Playoffs: Round 1 Recap

After Round One, only four teams are standing. However, all four of our finalists are missing integral parts of their team. The Jubas are short Dwayne Wade while their opponents, the Monkeys, are minus Joe Johnson. In the East, the Squirtles are without the services of Ray Allen (among many others) while Oliver's Poobic Heirs just lost Caron Butler for the season. Let's take a look at what transpired in the first week of the playoffs.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

5-4, Chunky Monkeys vs Buffy
The first of our absolute nail-biters this week. Buffy was in control entering Sunday but then, slowly, the victory slipped away. Losing by 2 in STL, 2 in BLK, and 3 in 3PT, this game was lost by the slimmest of margins. Then again, Buffy only won REB and AST by 2 each.

The difference? Perhaps C-Webb coming down with the flu mid-week, causing him to miss two crucial games. Perhaps James Posey or Nick Collison could have helped, but nobody is a seer, even Roger.

The Monkeys must be ecstatic to pull out of Round One with an epic win. Despite being hammered in PTS (594-703), the whole team worked together to manufacture a win. Josh Smith dumped in 14 BLK, Manu Ginobili had 7 STL, and Jason Terry and Gilbert Arenas paced Evan's squad with 12 and 9 3PT respectively. They're going to have to repeat that performance, and more, to upset the Jubas in the Western Finals.

9-0, Fat Jubas vs Funk Coalition
How embarassing. Suffering their first shut out of the season, the Funk went down in furious flames. Sure, Lebron and Redd missed a game or two, but in the end, it was the Jubas firing on all cylinders that prevented any chance of an upset. Andre Iguodala dropped in 20.7 PTS and 11.0 AST in three games, Leandro Barbosa and Josh Howard put up over 22.5 PTS per, and Tracy McGrady had his usual stellar all-around game to eliminate the Funk.

Even without Dwayne Wade -- and possibly Jermaine O'Neal -- the Jubas are our odds on favorite to take the whole enchilada. Players keep on getting hurt but Eric-L keeps plugging pieces in. Are we looking at a championship favorite here? I think so. Just one more win against fantasy nemesis Evan and Eric-L will be in the Finals and fighting for the coveted double-double -- a championship in both football and basketball.


EASTERN CONFERENCE

5-4, Squirtle Squad vs Human Amoebas
The East favorite, Squirtle Squad, didn't have quite as easy of a first round matchup as the West leader. By barely taking REB (+12) and STL (+4), the Squad escaped with a narrow victory over the Amoebas. In fact, if the Amoebas hadn't been derailed by injuries to Richard Hamilton and Zach Randolph (and a ding to Dirk Nowizki), they might have pulled off a major upset.

The Squirtles had a great week from Carlos Boozer (24.25 PTS and 11.75 REB) and Kevin Garnett (22.25 PTS, 13.5 REB, 5 AST) but it was the role players that really stepped up. Walter Herrmann with 19.3 PTS on 65 FG%. Sasha Pavlovic with 17.8 PTS and 2.25 3PT. Delonte West and Jamaal Tinsley also racked up some big numbers (16.75 PTS, 11.0 AST, and 3.5 STL combined).

There is literally no bench on this team (Ray Allen, Nenad Krstic, Andres Nocioni, David Lee, and until recently, J Garbajosa, are all injured) so what you see is what you get. Is that enough to take the East? Quite possibly...

7-2, Poobic Heirs vs Rhythm Drive
As predicted, the Heirs romped over the higher seeded Rhythm Drive. Without a functional Mike Miller, Sam Cassell, Steve Francis, Brad Miller, and Emeka Okafor, the Drive didn't really stand a chance.

The Heirs cement their didn't have one of their best weeks, but three games from Kobe (31.7 PTS, 6.7 AST, 2 STL) and a resurgent Yao (30 PTS, 12.5 REB, 2.25 BLK) was enough to eliminate the Drive. Rasheed Wallace (19.25 PTS, 3 3PT) and Kirk Hinrich (20 PTS, 8.5 AST, 2.25) had good outings too and they'll have to keep it up because the Heirs are now minus Caron Butler.

Can the Heirs beat the Squirtles without their defensive stalwart? It's hard to say. Either way, Butler wasn't in the lineup for this first round, so maybe the Heirs have gotten used to playing without him. This is still a very deep and talented team (Ricky Davis, Monta Ellis, Kevin Martin) so Oliver can still have high hopes for an appearance in the Finals.

Roster Locking, Draft Positions, Finals Format

Just for clarification purposes:

(1) If you were in the playoffs and you lost, it's over for you. Your roster will lock tomorrow. No more games, nothing. Thanks for a good season.

(2) If you lost in the Toilet Bowl, you still play another game to determine the #3 overall pick. Once you win-lose that game, your rosters lock -- which would be next Monday.

(3) For next year's draft, teams that exit the playoffs and don't make the Finals, are slotted Picks #5-#10 in reverse order of the regular season standings.

(4) If you make the Finals, the team that loses the championship game drafts #11, the team that wins drafts last, #12.

The Finals will run Mon-Sun, like a normal week, even if the nba.com site tabulates through the end of the regular season. We'll just cut it off the Sunday of championship week and not count the last 2-3 days of games.

Note: Next year's supplemental draft is NOT snake. So if you have the #2 pick, you get that pick for every round we have the supplemental draft.

Final Standings 2007

Click image to enlarge

Toilet Bowl: Round 1Preview

EASTERN CONFERENCE

100AcreWoodPoohBears (7-12-2) vs MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-19)
After a flurry of activity designed to position themselves for a fantastic future, the Pogiboys still need another franchise player. Chris Paul is nice, as is Chauncey Billups and Gerald Wallace, but another big time star is needed here. How about Kevin Durant or Greg Oden? Nobody needs one of the top two picks more than Alvin but he's going to have to go through long time fantasy nemesis J to do it.

Can a team filled with up-and-coming youngsters (Rudy Gay, Tyrus Thomas, Hakim Warrick) be counted on this week to topple a Pooh Bears team that has really picked it up since the return of Pau Gasol from injury? The Grizzlies play five games this week, and both Alvin and J have loaded up on their favorite Memphis players. Should J win this important matchup, they'll get to add Oden or Durant to an already formidable lineup of Matrix, Gasol, Bibby, Gordon, and Andre Miller.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Phanatics (8-13) vs Sour Snails (3-18)
Actually, let's rephrase. The Sour Snails are arguably the team that most needs a top two pick in next year's draft. After suffering through a season of injuries, mismanagement, and general disappointment, the Snails still have the services of Steve Nash and Allen Iverson, but not much else. With Artest still going loco and Jason Richardson slow to return, can Larry Hughes, Stephen Jackson, Mark Blount, and Hedo Turkoglu be enough?

Oden or Durant would go a long way toward rebuilding the Snails franchise but Trieu has to get through a strong Phanatics team first. The Phanatics haven't won a lot of games this season -- injuries and mismanagement -- but it's not because they've been bereft of talent. Vince Carter, Paul Pierce, Lamar Odom, and Marcus Camby are all versatile fantasy performers and they should prove too much for the Snails to handle. It's not about who needs this win more, it's about who, at the end of the week, can pull out a big victory. We're betting on the Phanatics.

Playoffs: Round 1 Preview

The chase for the Ring begins. All the playoff teams in the West won in the tuneup to the playoffs but that might mean nothing when it comes time to crown our inaugural champion. A lot of role players are being thrown into key roles to replace injured stars so this playoffs could be a wild one. Let's take a quick look at our first matchups.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Fat Jubas (16-4-1) vs Funk Coalition (12-9)
The prohibitive West favorite, Fat Jubas, is entering the playoffs without team leader Dwayne Wade. Just like the Heat however, the Jubas haven't missed a beat, having ripped off five straight wins. The Jubas are sitting the new age Ben Wallace, LaMarcus Aldridge, as his REB and BLK won't help against the Funk. In his place? Linas Kleiza, 3PT shooter extraordinaire (10 3PT in last three games). It's this type of savvy move that could spell victory for the Jubas.

The Funk are ailing a bit themselves, as Raymond Felton sat out Saturday's game for the Bobcats. Can he return in time to turn in his usual stellar combination of AST and STL? The Funk and the Jubas will be hotly contesting the PTS, STL, and FT% categories. It might just come down to Lebron's free throw shooting, which has dramatically improved in recent weeks. Can the King topple the reigning monarchy?

Chunky Monkeys (12-5-4) vs Buffy (13-8)
One of the most intriguing matchups of the playoffs. Buffy started the season as a high flying perimeter orientated team. Chris Paul and Joe Johnson exited stage left, Elton Brand and Tim Duncan entered stage right, and Buffy suddenly transformed itself into a physical powerhouse. Add in the resurgent Chris Webber and Shaquille O'Neal, and this is probably the one team that really gives Evan's front line (Tyson Chandler, Andris Biedrins, Josh Smith) a run for its money.

For the Monkeys, the amazing play of Josh Smith and Gilbert Arenas has been uplifting, but losing Joe Johnson for the forseeable future has probably doomed them to the scrap heap, even if they're going to insert Brian Skinner (31 REB and 5 BLK in last three) into the lineup in a valiant attempt to save a sinking ship. This late in the game, you can't replace the fiery starpower of a Joe Johnson. We smell minor upset.

The kicker here is that this matchup might have been decided two months ago when Joe was swapped for Tim.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Squirtle Squad (14-7) vs Human Amoebas (11-9-1)
The East leader has been dominating the regular season with an impressive roster of draft gems, anchored by the inside-out combo of Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Carlos Boozer. Brandon Roy and Deron Williams are bonafide stars, Delonte West and David Lee really turned it on this year, and even Jamaal Tinsley stayed healthy. Here's the problem though: Ray Allen is out for the season with bone spurs. The Squad already has a history of inconsistency, and is actually only 3-5 after an undefeated January.

Then again, the Amoebas aren't exactly paragons of consistency themselves -- going only 1-3 after an undefeated February. Brian will try to use the sweet shooting Walter Herrmann (15 PTS and 2 3PT average in last three games) to replace Allen, but while he has the locks of Jesus, he doesn't quite have the game of Shuttlesworth. Or can Herrmann turn water to wine and avoid a first round upset?

Rhythm Drive (12-8-1) vs The Poobic Heirs (11-9-1)
Finally, an East contender finishing off the regular season strong at 4-1 since the All Star Break, Rhythm Drive is poised to become the champion of the East. With a healthy Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard, and Luol Deng, the youth driven Drive needs veteran players such as Mike Miller, Kyle Korver, Grant Hill, Eddie Jones, and Derek Fisher to really step it up for the playoffs. Why not pick up Robert Horry off waivers for good karma here? While Emeka Okafor was supposed to make Reno unstoppable in BLK and on the boards, his current injury has him sitting the sidelines -- along with Brad Miller and Sam Cassell.

It's the bad luck of the Drive to be running into the Kobe buzzsaw right as he's setting scoring records. Then again, Kobe better keep it up because The Poobic Heirs have lost 4 of their last 5, and that's with Yao's return to the lineup. Defensive lynchpin Caron Butler is out for awhile (although he could return mid-week), as is Andrew Bogut, who's out for the season. Kevin Martin is getting a seat on the pine too, after suffering an eye injury on Sunday. That's three key cogs unavailable for duty; making a vaunted and feared team a lot less impressive. Stepping in for those guys will be Devin Harris (18 AST and 5 STL in last three games) and the sturdy but unspectacular Udonis Haslem. If the Heirs can beat the streaking, but injury ravaged Drive, they could go far in the playoffs.

Coming later in the week: A look at the Toilet Bowl.

The Last Trade of 2007

A small trade went down in the wee days before the trading deadline (March 24th) as Jon and Alvin positioned themselves for a playoff and Toilet Bowl run, respectively. Point guard Steve Blake had been sitting the pine for the super charged Funk and the Pogiboys had a need for a third passer to pair with Chauncey Billups and Chris Paul. The other man in the trade? Virtual unknown Houston Rockets power forward Chuck Hayes.

Blake, since being traded to the Nuggets, has been logging 30+ minutes and contributing a steady stream of AST, 3PT, and STL. While his scoring has been up and down, 6 AST, 1 3PT/STL and excellent percentages is nothing to scoff at.

Hayes on the other hand, is in his rookie season and despite being undersized, is a rebounding machine and a hustler. With the recent move into the starting lineup Hayes has shown that he's capable of outstanding FG%, REB, and STL numbers; even in limited time (25+ minutes).

Both owners were pleased with their acquisitions and vow to keep the flame alive for their respective fan bases. In a joint statement, GMs Jon and Alvin said "This kind of tinkering with our lineup shows the other owners (and our fans) that we mean serious business."

Recap: Week 19

Inter-Conference Games
7-2, Squirtle Squad vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
6-3, Buffy vs Sour Snails

Conference Games
6-3, Phanatics vs Rhythm Drive
5-4, Fat Jubas vs Pooh Bears
5-4, Poobic Heirs vs Funk Coalition
8-1, Chunky Monkeys vs Human Amoebas
(statistics)

6-3, Phanatics vs Rhythm Drive
The oft-injured Phanatics finally pick up a win, even though Lamar Odom didn't contribute anything to the lineup. With mighty mite Earl Watson on the loose to the tune of 14.5 PTS, 8 AST, 2.5 STL, and 2 3PT, maybe the Phanatics didn't need Odom? Vince Carter pumped in 21 PTS and 5 REB a game but he missed msot of his shots (36.7 FG%) and barely hit any 3PT. Since his return, Paul Pierce has only been a shadow of his former self and David West has cooled off after a fast start. Can the return of Marcus Camby and Richard Jefferson position the Phanatics for a run in the Toilet Bowl? They better hope so, otherwise this team is going to need some major restructuring.

Meanwhile, the Drive need to pull it together too. Emeka Okafor still sits in the lineup despite being obviously injured and down for the count. It's time for Steve Francis, Grant Hill, and Eddie Jones (19.25 PTS, 5 REB, 2 STL, 3.75 3PT) to hit the lineup and take over for Okafor and Sam Cassell. While Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard, Luol Deng, and Mike Miller can still pace this team, they're going to need some better lineup management for them to make any noise in the playoffs. Both the Phanatics and the Drive are in similar precarious positions, but they can both still make good on a season that held so much promise, but is now coming down to an endpoint.

7-2, Squirtle Squad vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
It's been a whirlwind week for the Pogiboys, as they've turned over half their roster in a few short days. Two trades, a few waiver wire additions and almost another trade later, the Pogiboys are positioning themselves for a Toilet Bowl victory. Sure, they got dumped on their ass this week but half those players aren't even here anymore. Who is still around? Gerald Wallace and his 26.3 PTS and 13 REB. Young players like Rudy Gay, Darko Milicic, Hakim Warrick, and Tyrus Thomas will have to contribute for the stretch run but this team suddenly has quite the point guard duo behind Chauncey Billups and Chris Paul. With only two short weeks to gel, can the Pogiboys be ready for the (Toilet Bowl) spotlight?

The Squad is ready and any time the playoffs start, they've got their eyes on the prize. The odds on favorite to advance to the Finals, the Squad is hurting a little bit -- David Lee and Andres Nocioni are out -- but they should have enough firepower left to take on all comers. Brandon Roy is a budding star (22.5 PTS, 5.5 AST, 2 3PT) and it looks like Brian was right on in selecting him in the sixth round and showing patience with him. Ray Allen is still the heart and soul of this team (29 PTS, 1.5 STL, 3 3PT); or is it Kevin Garnett (27 PTS, 13 REB, 4.3 AST, 2.3 BLK)? Hard to tell isn't it? The two of them are definitely the best inside-out combination in the league, as they cover all nine statistical categories. Do we hear co-MVP chants for this team?

5-4, Fat Jubas vs Pooh Bears
Both the Jubas and Bears are just riding out the regular season. The Jubas as the kings of the West, the Pooh Bears as the Toilet Bowl king of the East. Neither one can be affected negatively or positively the rest of the way and they're just hoping for no whammies (injuries). But they still play the game right? Fat Jubas narrowed edged out a ho-hum victory with a few extra three pointers (26-22) as Tracy McGrady showcased his range with 10 3PT on the week -- along with 25.75 PTS and 7 AST. Corey Maggette (19 PTS, 1.7 STL) and Zaza Pachulia (15.25 PTS, 9.75 REB) have been nice surprises too.

The Bears shot astoundingly well as a team this week: 50.0 FG% and 82.8 FT%. They'll need to keep that up to fend off a revamped Pogiboys during the Toilet Bowl. If they can, they're staring at adding Oden-Durant to an already formidable lineup. Marion, Gasol, and Oden next to Bibby, Gordon, and A Miller (18.7 PTS, 6.3 AST, 2 STL) sound good? Sure does!

5-4, Poobic Heirs vs Funk Coalition
While every other playoff contender in the West won this week, Funk Coalition collapsed under pressure and have most likely locked in a #4 seed in their conference. At the same time, with this win, the Poobic Heirs are one game up on the Human Amoebas and Rhythm Drive for the #2 seed in the East. Despite a few errant elbows or two, Kobe Bryant led the way with 31.7 PTS, 8.7 REB, 5 AST, and 2 3PT. That was enough to fend off Lebron and crew. Lebron (finally) had a huge week; 32.75 PTS, 8.5 REB, 7.75 AST, 2.25 STL, 2.5 3PT and more importantly, 73.1% from the line. If there were any doubts that Yao would come back strong, those doubts were dashed as he put up 22 PTS and 9 REB over four games this week.

6-3, Buffy vs Sour Snails
The Buff should have locked up a first round matchup with the suddenly derailed Chunky Monkeys. It's looking like the trade that involved Joe Johnson and Tim Duncan might have turned out better for Roger than it did for Evan. We'll find out as they are slated to fight it out in the playoffs. As for their last few warm up weeks, Buffy is just ridiing the big man Shaqalicious as he surges to the top of the charts - 20.5 PTS, 8.25 REB, and 67.3 FG%. Antawn Jamison is fully healthy again too (22.75 PTS, 7.25 REB, 1.5 3PT) and this upcoming week, Stephon Marbury and Elton Brand join the party to make one of the biggest -- not to mention most expensive -- teams in the league.

The Snails were looking good for awhile but now they're headed downhill again. Wally Szczerbiak shut it down for the season, Ron Artest is hitting people again, Ryan Gomes is hurt, Jason Kapono is hurt. The return of Jason Richardson (16.75 PTS, 4 REB/AST, 2.75 3PT) and Allen Iverson (25.75 PTS, 4.75 AST, 2 STL) is great, but can this team pull it together to beat the Phanatics for one of the coveted top picks? They're gonna have to really get their asses in gear. And Ron, stop hitting people!

8-1, Chunky Monkeys vs Human Amoebas
The Amoebas sure have a weird habit of getting crushed every few weeks. While they can certainly dish out the punishment on occasion, they are a good team that seems to collapse every so often. 7-2, 8-1, etc. The reasons for their inconsistent play hasn't yet been discovered by they better figure it out soon. This week, they played 8 less games than their opponent, which explains the loss. Only Rip Hamilton (18 PTS, 4 AST, 51.9 FG%) played four games. Everyone else was slated for three or less. The injury to Quentin Richardson didn't help matters either.

The Monkeys won on paper but their biggest loss came off the court as recent addition Joe Johnson may choose to shut it down for the season; due to a deep bruise. Sissy. Gilbert Arenas is back on track (27.75 PTS, 4.75 AST, 2.5 STL, 3.25 3PT) but can he carry the team deep in the playoffs himself? Josh Smith is still a solid second-in-command but will Manu Ginobili continue to be on fire (20.5 PTS, 2.5 3PT)? The still inspired play of Tyson Chandler (13 PTS, 11.7 REB, 3.7 BLK) is great news, but it's a sad week for Chunky fans everywhere.

A Small Deal

It's almost embarassing to mention, but right after the biggest blockbuster in league history -- involving two number one picks -- Buffy and Funk Coalition set off a mini-flare of their own, exchanging shooting guard Cuttino Mobley for point guard Jose Calderon. A pure need-based trade, Buffy was looking for some AST help with Chris Paul out of town and Funk had too many passing oriented guards, so an exchange was quickly reached.

Despite his backup status, Jose Calderon has shown that he is capable of reaching double digit assist nights in under thirty minutes of action. While his season averages of 10 PTS, 5 AST, and almost 1 STL aren't stellar, Calderon is great when starting and has now solidified himself in a semi-time share with TJ Ford on the Toronto Raptors. That translates to about a dozen points, six assists a night, and a perfect fit for the new look Buffy.


Cuttino Mobley has certainly seen better days, but as the primary outside shooter on the Clippers, he can still light it up once in awhile. Averaging 13 PTS, 1.2 3PT and 1 STL on the season, Mobley is exactly the type of hot-and-cold player Funk needs to add a bit of scoring punch to his team.

Both Buffy and the Funk are attempting to fine tune their teams in an effort to gain ground on Western division powers Fat Jubas and Chunky Monkeys. Realizing that their current rosters probably won't take them to the Finals, Roger and Jon have been busy working the phones to increase the peace and to make a push for a title.

With the playoffs starting in three weeks and the trade deadline in two (March 24), will they run out of time?

The Real Deal

MoRRie’s Pogiboys sends Elton Brand and Stephon Marbury to Buffy in exchange for Chris Paul, JR Smith, and Hakim Warrick.

One day after a surprising exchange with Fat Jubas, the Pogiboys were at it again making a trade to further their youth movement. With a playoff run out of the question, all signs clearly point at the future.

The Pogiboys new floor general Chris Paul (CP3) will provide the leadership necessary to take this team to new heights next season. The pairing with Chauncey Billups makes for a formidable backcourt threat. Although Elton Brand will be missed, the ridding of locker-room cancer Stephon Marbury was the primary goal in the transaction.

Heralded as the deepest team in the league, Buffy needed to make a move in order to make a run for the championship this season. While Buffy somehow has new injuries to his players each week, something needed to be done to help the team. Parting with the face of the franchise, Chris Paul, was hard for Roger, but he realized it was a necessary move to make to compete now. With Jubas and Monkeys hitting their stride, something had to be done.

Buffy now boasts one of the biggest frontcourts in the league, teaming Brand with Tim Duncan, Shaq, Eddy Curry, C-Webb, and rebounding machine Nick Collison. Even with such larger players, Buffy does not anticipate a drop off in his AST-STL-3PT categories. With a healthy Baron Davis and the newly acquired Starbury, Buffy should be able to stay the course.

In addition to CP3, the Pogiboys added much needed depth with JR Smith and Hakim Warrick, two young guys that are versatile and have the ability to fill up the box score. With Smith returning next week, expect three to four 3PT a game. While Warrick’s role is yet to be defined, with playing time, he can be good for around 15 pts and 7 REBs a game. Alvin has a clear grasp of what needs to be done to win next year. By taking the new roster and a potential top 2 draft pick, this will be a team to be reckoned with.

This is yet another win-win trade for both parties involved. Can the Pogiboys pull off a third trade in as many days?

Reporting by Roger

Recap: Week 18

Inter-Conference Games
5-4, Buffy vs Phanatics
5-4, Rhythm Drive vs Squirtle Squad
5-3, Chunky Monkeys vs Sour Snails

Conference Games
5-4, MoRRie's Pogiboys vs Poobic Heirs
5-4, Funk Coalition vs Pooh Bears
6-3, Fat Jubas vs Human Amoebas
(statistics)

5-4, MoRRie's Pogiboys vs Poobic Heirs
It's over! Alvin's thirteen game losing streak is over! And not a moment too soon as the Pogiboys were lagging in morale and the fan attendance was at an all time low. How'd they do it? Well, a last second three by the much maligned Stephon Marbury gave Pogiboys the edge in 3PT (40 to 39) and got them the win. Stephon Marbury was back to Star status this week with an average of 30 PTS, 5.5 AST, 1.5 STL, and 4.25 3PT -- a total of 17 3PT. This victory was certainly Star-powered but the surging Gerald Wallace helped out too with his stellar shooting and 2.5 STL per game. Outfitted with two young bigs, the Pogiboys might even win another game soon!

The Heirs are top contenders but they walk away from this matchup with a loss, one that might have been prevented if Rasheed Wallace had suited up. Oh well, at least Yao is back for the stretch run, so there's not too much to complain about here. A healthy Heir team is still my pick to win the East.

5-4, Funk Coalition vs Pooh Bears
Both teams badly needed a victory, well, maybe the Pooh Bears needed one more. With hotly contested matchups in PTS, AST, and STL, the week culminated in a blow up face off between Michael Redd and Ben Gordon. The two combined for 100 points Sunday night and Jon walked away with a tight victory in STL (by 1) to effectively close the door on the Pooh Bears playoff hopes. With only three games left in the regular season, the Bears are three games behind the pack. Time to prepare for the Toilet Bowl?

The Funk dropped in an eye-gouging 64 3PT on the week, behind Redd's 16, Matt Carroll's 9, and everyone else dialing in from distance.

5-4, Buffy vs Phanatics
Can it get worse for Roger on the injury front? With JR Smith still ailing, Baron doing his time on the bench, and Luke Walton not looking to return soon, the Buffy depth will be sorely tested as Jamal Crawford exits stage right for the season. Jamal has been an explosive component to the Buffy attack and now they're forced to all but forego competing in 3PT. The good news is that Rashard Lewis fully recovered, as evidenced by his 27.25 PTS, 7.25 REB, 1.5 STL, and 2.75 3PT this week. On top of that, the Daddy is back (24.7 PTS, 9.3 REB, 1.7 BLK) but can it be enough to offset all these injuries?

The Phanatics lost by only 6 in REB, 5 in AST, and 30 in PTS so they almost had a chance this week. The thing to do now is just prepare for the Toilet Bowl as the are clearly out of playoff contention. Toward that end, Lamar Odom's 2-3 week injury won't exactly help matters; even if Richard Jefferson and Marcus Camby are back in action.

5-4, Rhythm Drive vs Squirtle Squad
The Drive have the lowest Points For (75) of any playoff team but they keep winning -- two in a row -- and are sitting pretty at second in the East. This week, they easy handled Brian's East leading Squirtle Squad despite the absence of Emeka Okafor. Luol Deng is a fantasy star (21.75 PTS, 5.25 REB, 4.5 AST, 2 STL and 58.1%) but he's often overlooked. His big week, along with Kyle Korver and Mike Miller's combined 39.75 PTS and 17 3PT, were enough to topple the Squad with no real problems.

The Squirtles are 2.5 games ahead of the competition so they can relax a bit and wait for Ray Allen to recover. Ray-Ray was on the verge of ending his season but it looks like he'll be returning to action on a bum ankle. With rebounding phenom David Lee ailing, and only stalwarts Carlos Boozer and Kevin Garnett contributing, the Squad took a quick loss.

5-3, Chunky Monkeys vs Sour Snails
The return of Jason Richardson to fantasy prominence (16.5 PTS, 7.25 REB, 5 AST, 1.5 BLK, 1 STL, 1.75 3PT) will help Trieu a lot, but not this week. Richardson played a lot of minutes, partly due to Stephen Jackson's bust of a week and the Snails couldn't use Nash-Iverson-Richardson to make up any ground on the Monkeys.

Once challenging for the lead in the West, they Monkeys have been uneven of late and are now duking it out with Roger for the #2 seed. Joe Johnson was an animal last week (27 PTS, 5.75 AST, 1.75 STL, 2.5 3PT on 53.2 FG%) and his fellow Hawk, Josh Smith, blocked 16 shots in four games. Wow. The horrific injury to Shaun Livingston aside, the Monkeys are prepping for a playoff run now that they're healthy and clicking -- except for Agent Zero, who is slumping badly due to a collarbone issue.

6-3, Fat Jubas vs Human Amoebas
Despite losing Dwayne Wade and Tony Parker's services to injuries, the Jubas easily dispatched the Amoebas behind the stunning work of Andre Igoudala (23.5 PTS, 7.25 REB, 6.5 AST, 3 STL) and Al Jefferson (23.5 PTS, 14.5 REB, 1.5 BLK). The Amoebas tried to take control behind their terrific duo of Dirk and Amare but without a third option, they faltered and will now have to fight it out with Reno and Oliver for playoff seeding -- all three teams are tied at 10-7-1 records. Can the Amoebas head into the post-season having not made any waiver moves all season? Time will tell as this dangerous team has been up and down all season but clearly still capable of winning quite a few games.