Recap: Week 15

Inter-Conference Games
5-4, The Poobic Heirs vs Pooh Bears
6-2, Human Amoebas vs Squirtle Squad
5-4, Funk Coalition vs Phanatics
7-2, Fat Jubas vs Buffy

Conference Games
5-3, Sour Snails vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
5-3, Rhythm Drive vs Chunky Monkeys
(statistics)

5-3, Sour Snails vs MoRRie's Pogiboys
The Snails are having an undefeated month! Someone alert Springfield; this is historic! And they're doing it largely without Allen Iverson and um, Steve Nash. Stephen Jackson has stepped up his game (22.75 PTS, 4 REB/AST, 1.5 STL/3PT) along with that other crazy man from Northern California, Ron Artest. Artest shot a respectable 45.6%, put in 18 PTS, 8.25 REB, 4.5 AST, 2 STL, and 2.5 3PT. The duo are the Batman and Robin of the NBA; except they don't hit criminals, they hit NBA fans!

This week, they just clear knocked out the Pogiboys -- who had a 5 GP advantage too. With this loss, the Pogiboys have tied the Snails for the longest consecutive losing streak of the season. Unless they pull a big win out next week against the Human Amoebas, the Pogiboys will be the sole holder of this dubious record. It's clearly build for the future time but Alvin still needs to win in the Toilet Bowl to secure Durant or Oden. Can Elton and Billups lead the way to the promised (lottery) land? Can the Pogiboys win another game this season?

5-4, The Poobic Heirs vs Pooh Bears
The game of the week here fellas, in terms of big man on campus status. Both teams had four game win streaks on the line and only one team could emerge victorious. The Pooh Bears are climbing into the playoff picture and the Poobic Heirs are trying to the East leading Squirtles. In what seemed like a tightly contested game, it was really all Poobic Heirs.

The Bears barely won AST, STL, and BLK and only the razor thin margins in those categories prevented a blow out. Outside of Pau Gasol (22.5 PTS, 12.5 REB, 3 BLK), nobody on the Bears really stepped up this week. Among other highlights, the Heirs got a big push from Kirk Hinrich (23.75 PTS, 5 AST, 2.5 3PT) and Kevin Martin (23.25 PTS, 2.25 3PT, 50.9 FG%) to push their win streak to five games. Who's lucky number six? Can Reno stop Oliver?

6-2, Human Amoebas vs Squirtle Squad
Man, those Amoebas sure are hard to pin down. They get blown out, they blow people out. They win two, they lose one, they win two, they lose two. They sure are...shapeless. Are there any amoeba jokes out there? Bueller? Bueller?

Taking down the top ranked team in the land isn't an easy task but the Amoebas sure made it look easy in a 6-2 drubbing of the Squirtles. The biggest draft day gamble may have been taking Amare Stoudemire with a third round pick but that pick has been gold -- as proven by Amare's 31.75 PTS, 11.25 REB, and 54.4 FG% week. Another Amoeba draft day gamble, Raja Bell, casually contributed 18 PTS, 4 REB/AST, and 2.25 3PT.

One man's third round gold is another man's third round pyrite. Boris Diaw -- the Squirtles third round pick -- has had his impact subdued due to Amare's presence. The Squirtles are also suffering from injuries, mainly to Carlos Boozer and Andres Nocioni, and despite a heroic effort from Ray Allen (29 PTS, 4 REB, 5 AST, 2.25 STL and 3 3PT) couldn't do enough damage to put up much of a fight.

7-2, Fat Jubas vs Buffy
The Jubas are in take no prisoners mode and defending their perch atop the West by unleashing a wicked beat down on Buffy. Even though Chris Paul is back, the Baron is hurt (for awhile) and that kills Buffy. The good news is: Rashard Lewis is back too and rounding into shape. And look, a Shaq sighting in the lineup (15.25 PTS, 5 REB, 2 BLK)! There's not a lot of nice things to say about a 7-2 loss but there is a silver lining here as the Buff are looking much better with some of their injured stars returning and Shaq and Webber looking like they're capable of contributing.

After calling out the Big German this week, Dwayne Wade went out and tossed in 27.5 PTS and 8.75 AST on 57.1% shooting to back up his words. Wade's been slept on this year but he's been amazing. The only thing this guy can't do is shoot 3PT but his AST and FG% have been astronomical. The Jubas are for real and have Wade, McGrady, AI2, Josh Howard, Jermaine O'Neal, Tony Parker, and Leandro Barbosa attacking the rim and wrecking opponents. Watch out now!

5-4, Funk Coalition vs Phanatics
In a close, but preposterous game, Adam Morrison and Steve Blake sealed a win for the Funk by getting back-to-back blocks in the waning moments of the matchup with the Phanatics. The Funk lost PTS by 1 but won BLK by 1 -- maybe the first time they've won that category all season. For the Phanatics, having Nene and his 5 BLK in there, instead of the injured Marcus Camby, would have won the week for them. Ouch. Hey, at least Paul Pierce is back -- if Ping remains alert enough to put The Truth into the lineup.

Carmelo Anthony had a huge return from suspension with four games worth of 30.25 PTS, 8.25 REB and 7.75 AST. Melo's an All-Star! The Funk need him to stay strong as Lebron seems to have slumped under a weakened toe (19.3 PTS, 7.3 REB, 4.6 AST on 41.2%). The Funk have been doubling up their opponents in AST and dominating in STL and 3PT but barely winning (or rather, losing). Rumors abound that a major shakeup is coming.

5-3, Rhythm Drive vs Chunky Monkeys
In their last matchup, Reno and Evan secured our league's first tie. This time around, Reno landed an uppercut to Evan's jaw and scored a KO. Of course, the two teams still tied in turnovers -- who the hell ties in turnovers!? Rhythm Drive won despite losing BLK -- again. This isn't what the doctor ordered but hey, the Monkeys are the best BLK team in the business so this wasn't too bad. Josh Smith had a ri-blockulous 13 BLK while Emeka only had 4 BLK for the Drive (Dwight had 10 though).

The Drive did have enough juice to take PTS and STL (Luol and Emeka both had 7 STL each for the team to win by 1 STL). The main reason for the big win though? How about that Dwight Howard? Young Dwight shot 84.6% FROM THE FIELD and had a 27 PTS, 10 REB, 2.5 BLK, and 5 TO (!) average for the week. The Monkey's number one man, Agent Zero, talked a big game but only put up 18 PTS per in three games on 32.1 FG%. Looks like Gil and the Chunky crew's big mouth finally caught up with them this week as they landed hard on the mat.