Witness to Change

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It's been a pretty quiet first few weeks of the season and as fantasy football winds down, we had a gigantic bomb drop into the SlamNation world. Lebron James is taking his talents to Nande? ReBuRonSAN! I don't know what the hell that means in Japanese but I'm betting it could translate well to "I got the King bitches!"

We've had some major blockbusters in our young history but nothing quite like this. The top overall pick moved from the Chamberlain to Russell Conference. This trade between Squirtle Squad and Nande, the two best regular season teams last year, proves that even winners can't sit on their laurels and just count their money. Along with Lebron James, Trieu is moving Gerald Wallace and Hakim Warrick to Mikey for Gilbert Arenas, Stephen Jackson, and Kevin Love. Keep in mind this is the second trade between these two teams this season. Do we smell corroboration here? Or is it just two savvy GMs making moves that nobody else dares? Before we delve into the specifics of the trade, let's take a look at what prompted this huge move.

Nande has been off to a horrible start this season. After a 5-4 victory over the Human Amoebas to start the season, they've lost four in a row, with no more than three categories won each time. Ranking last in FG%, sixth in REB, low in PTS, AST, STL, and second to last in BLK, Nande's only team strength has been superior outside shooting, which helped them rank first in 3PT. Sitting in dead last in the Thundercats division, Mikey didn't hesitate to make a Riley-esque splash.


Why the move for Trieu though? After romping through the league last season, we thought the Snails would never move their dynamic trio of Lebron, Wallace, and Josh Smith. They got off to another hot start, winning four games in convincing fashion, but then suffered an embarassing 3-5-1 loss last week to Human Amoebas, who were the worst team in the league last year. Perhaps that served as the wake up call. As we've alluded to, the Sour Snails are a very strange small ball team. They are mostly outside shooters, but with James, Wallace, and Smith, they can regularly compete in the REB and BLK categories. However, if a team could over power them down low, the Snails were susceptible to their big three's free throw shooting woes. Lebron is a career 74.4% FT shooter, and Wallace (71.4%) and especially Smith (66.9%) aren't exactly eagle eyes from the charity stripe. That weakness left them a bit vulnerable during certain matchups.

While we were initially a little skeptical of this trade, after looking at the numbers and talking to team sources, it looks like a huge win win across the board. For example, the Snails get a huge upgrade in FT% and 3PT, plus a significant uptick in REB and even a bit of a kick in STL and PTS. They are worse in FG% and TO after this trade, but those weren't categories they were looking to win anyway. Let's take a look at what these guys are averaging so far during the 2011 season.



What jumps out at you right away is the decline of Wallace, who is no longer the All Star player he was last year. The huge jump of Kevin Love to an extreme 20 PTS, 15 REB player was obviously the key to this trade. He can match James and Wallace's rebound numbers, freeing Trieu to play two more streaky shooters, which is actually more befitting his style. We're a little wary of Arenas' role and injury history, but at his worst, Gilbert is an offensive powerhouse. On Nande's side, well, he got Lebron. Having an all around stud like LBJ means that Mikey now has a franchise cornerstone to build around. While he paid a heavy price -- especially since Hakim Warrick is almost waiver wire fodder -- we love this forward thinking move for both teams. Quality analysis, big cajones, and we have the first blockbuster of the year. What's next? Which owners will step up to shake their teams out of the doldrums?

Let the trading season begin!

The Infinity War

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Whew, the 2011 SlamNation season is fully upon us! The draft is over, the teams are set, and all we have to do is roll out the ball and get started. Meanwhile, Marvel and the NBA, two of my favorite things, came together to create this insane collaboration for ESPN. I picked up two copies of the magazine today so I could rip one apart and display all of my favorite ones in my room. Not that I have a room, or a house, or well, a wall. Okay, I made the Celtics image my iPhone wallpaper, that'll just have to do. But seriously, this is some great stuff. Maybe I have them available here for our perusal? Thanks to a special someone who gave me the access, you know who you are... If you don't know what the above photo refers to, can I point you toward The Infinity Gauntlet? So freaking awesome.

Before we get things really geared up, I took some time out of my busy schedule to create some serious team previews for everyone. Yes, this is my push to get into Alvin and Co.'s fantasy football league, but it's also done from passion. I'm freaking excited for this NBA season after swearing I'd never care again after the Game Seven loss. There are just too many interesting teams and story lines to stay away from this season. So on with the show!

All previews, from this year and the last, are under the "divisions" tag, so if you want to take a read about the teams last year, go right ahead, or simply click below.

2010
Chamberlain Conference: Silverhawks - Transformers
Russell Conference: Voltron - Thundercats

2011
Chamberlain Conference: Silverhawks - Transformers
Russell Conference: Voltron - Thundercats

(Russell Conference) Voltron

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Bayside Bombardiers - Pierre (11-7)
Last year we said that this team was full of "second bananas." Proving that the experts were idiots, a team full of so-called second bananas surged to a division win and Pierre's team earned a second playoff seed in the Russell Conference. Of course, while there, the lack of an alpha dog caused them to narrowly avoid a first round upset, and then that same weakness totally derailed them against the surprising Chunky Monkeys. This season, the Bombardiers still have the same problem but they hope a stronger sense of purpose will propel them to playoff success. All those secondary guys on NBA teams proved that they could put the ball in the hole, propelling Bayside to third in PTS and FG%, plus a sterling second in FT%.

The main problem they faced was a lack of backcourt production. They were weak in 3PT and AST, and absolute last in STL. Jameer Nelson, Jamal Crawford, and Mo Williams are decent but not dominanting in any category. New additions Leandro Barbosa and Kyle Lowry could help but we predict that the Bombardiers will have trouble increasing those categories unless they can find a leader at the guard position. Actually, if Barbosa can do anything with his unlimited time in Toronto, he could really help the 3PT category. It's strange that a team with this many shooters aren't at least average from beyond the arc but the stats don't lie. Maybe jettisoning last year's third round uber-disappointment, Ben Gordon, will help morale and give some shots to more efficient players.

The great news for Pierre is that the frontcourt is absolutely fantastic. Pau Gasol and Luis Scola are interchangeable at power forward and center, and Scola had some ridiculously great games at the end of last season. David West is solid and he should bounce back to 20-10 status after dipping a bit last year. Small forward Luol Deng didn't make the keeper roster but was snatched right back up this season. There isn't much needed behind these four but Charlie Villanueva, Samuel Dalembert, and Shelden Williams are around for depth. Charlie V has a ton of fantasy upside but he doesn't seem to care much about trying very hard. Dalembert was huge down the stretch last season and is a necessary rim protector, but he starts the season dinged up and we're not sure how healthy he plans on being. Overall, this team surprised us with their great balance and effort and there's no reason not to expect another fantastic season from the boys of Queens.
NBA Team: Utah Jazz

Golden Ticket - Thien (9-9)
The team that keeps changing its name -- for extra money and merchandising sales no doubt -- had reason to keep changing identities. They started off last season in a stupor, winning only once in their first five games. Then they ripped off six straight wins and looked like legit contenders. Five losses in six games later and the Golden boys found themselves in the Toilet Bowl. Of course, once there, they flexed their muscles again and won the whole damn thing, earning the number overall pick this season. Whew, is everyone going to buy season tickets to watch Thien's team this year or what?

That first pick turned out to be John Wall, the only sure thing out of this crop of rookies. Last year we said this team was only lacking a premier point guard and twelve months later here he is. Wall is going to help tremendously all around, pushing AST from last year's poor ranking (fifth to last) to something much higher this season. His quick hands will likely push STL up as well (already a strength last season), and his offense will allow Golden Ticket to challenge for the PTS crown, where they were second last year. Pairing Wall with Dwayne Wade is going to be insane, and we're pretty sure they'll be unbeatable in the backcourt. Last year's starting point guard, Raymond Felton, is pushed to third guard duty, where he'll thrive and add his own underrated bunch of AST/STL.

That's not all. Golden Ticket is also very good at both 3PT and BLK, an interesting combination. The BLKs will likely dip as Andrew Bynum is injured, Kenyon Martin is gone, and only Chris Kaman remains to man the middle. There will be an audition for the PF spot between Drew Gooden, Thaddeus Young, and Tiago Splitter. What we don't need to worry about is the wing positions, as Rudy Gay and Paul Pierce are perfect complements to the backcourt. Once Glass Man Bynum returns, this team will officially be super scary, with a balanced team that should contend for a championship -- the real one, not the toilet kind, this time around.
NBA Team: Oklahoma Thunder

Morrie's Pogiboys - Alvin (7-11)
The Pogis has a pretty disastrous draft last season. Third round pick Caron Butler had to be traded for a third rounder this summer as his value plummeted, Tyrus Thomas was a fourth rounder and never quite steadied his statistics, and Charlie Villanueva was the sixth selection, ouch. Those guys didn't work out as promised. The good news was rookie gem Brandon Jennings, who saved GM Alvin's reputation, and the season, as Devin Harris was in and out of the lineup. Jennings maybe encapsulates the Pogiboys season overall, as he probably contributed to their second to last ranking in FG% and third to last in TOs. He's only going to get better in his second season though -- possibly much better.

All world Amare Stoudemire carried this team to seven wins behind his fantastic offensive numbers. He'll likely push above 25 ppg this season and he'll be counted on to play a fast athletic center. Oh Ty Thomas, Alvin's soft spot. Can Thomas be the defensive presence tihs team needs or will Roy Hibbert have to be the answer? Having Devin Harris return to his 2009 numbers would be fantastic and we like third guard Mike Conley, who is sneaky good and getting better. The big questions are who'll man the shooting guard and small forward positions this year. Is Marco Belinelli and Austin Daye the answer? We see a bit of a homer reach on Daye but apparently he's ready to be the skinniest power forward ever?

And in the event Belinelli isn't up to the task, last year showed us Marcus Thornton's potential so one of them will cover the SG/SF slot. The rest of the bench is Carl Landry, Josh Childress, Jamario Moon, and Al Harrington. When Harrington returns, he'll give a big boost to the offense and could be a matchup switch with Hibbert. We don't think Carl Landry's hard work will be slept on in Sacramento so he'll likely take over for Tyrus if he falters. As for Childress and Moon, one of them will come through right? We see the Pogiboys needing growth from his team at every position except Amare, in order to compete for a playoff spot.
NBA Team: New Jersey Nets

Human Amoebas - Eric A (3-15)
Last year we predicted that Eric A's young team was going to be a contender in 2012 but that the first few years might be difficult. As it turned out, 2010 was a horrific season as all that youth dragged the Amoebas to last place in the league. They were second to last in 3PT, third to last in REB and AST, and middle of the pack in just about everything else. With no defined strength, this team needs to find an identity and gel quickly for them to get out of the cellar.

Last year's first round pick, SF Danny Granger, was shipped out mid-season for Monta Ellis and Ellis is now the centerpiece of a promising backcourt that includes Derrick Rose and Eric Gordon, fresh off their World Championships experience this summer. It would be hard to find a better up-and-coming guard rotation anywhere else. The frontcourt is all potential and not a lot of proven production. Michael Beasley will be given all the minutes he needs to shine in his new Minnesota home, Paul Millsap will be stuck behind another injury prone power forward in Utah, and Andray Blatche will be looking for a huge breakout season. The intriguing prospect here is rookie PF/C DeMarcus Cousins, who could make a quick impact. In fact, he needs to make an immediate impact because he's the starting center.

The bench is filled with that p-word again, "potential." Guards Ty Lawson and George Hill are both reserves for now but trades would likely make them very viable starting options. Swingman Anthony Morrow should have secured the starting small forward spot in New Jersey and both he and the versatile Ersan Ilyasova will contribute in the 3PT department. Marreese Speights flashed some potential last season but will likely ride the pine unless minutes clear up for him in Philadelphia. Overall, Eric-A will need big seasons from Gordon, Blatche, and Cousins to prepare themselves for a championship run in 2012. We believe!
NBA Team: Washington Wizards

(Chamberlain Conference) Silverhawks

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Sour Snails - Trieu (16-1-1)
We don't want to point fingers here but having two four win teams in this division means Trieu's monster team feasted on weak competition all season long. That's why they were almost undefeated last year. That's why they won the championship. That's why they look like a potential dynasty team. It has nothing to do with the fact that they were ranked tops in PTS, 3PT, AST, STL, and BLKs all season long. Nope, that has nothing to do with it at all. Look at all of the Snails weaknesses! They turn the ball over at a prolific rate (last), can't shoot free throws (second to last), and get outrebounded once in awhile (ranked fifth). A team that undisciplined should lose a lot right?

I mean, sure, a starting lineup of Stephen Curry, Aaron Brooks, Darren Collison, Danilo Gallinari, and Brendan Haywood ain't bad but hardly invincible right? Sadly, those five are the bottom end of Trieu's likely rotation players. Add in Gerald Wallace. Add in Josh Smith. Oh and add in Lebron James. Those three change a small ball team into a big-small ball team. Collectively they contribute 26+ REB per and almost 5 BLK. The traditional small ball team can't do those things. In fact, it's crazy that the Snails are so great at BLK and so terrible at FT%. Understanding that the few matchups the Snails can't win are against teams that can compete with them in one of their five dominant categories and on the boards, GM Trieu wisely drafted a few big men for certain matchups. Haywood, Ben Wallace, and rookie Greg Monroe won't be used often but they'll be essential plug-ins against the handful of teams that the Snails can't beat in REB.

Two Knicks will cheer from the bench, Toney Douglas and Kelenna Azubuike, and if Trieu hits on another outstanding sleeper we might as well all give up. You realize he had the vision to draft Curry as the first rookie off the board last year right? Top of the fifth round. We said last year that "it seemed a bit early for Curry" but now he's a first round value. Genius!

Looking over this roster, I have a hard time picture many losses this season. The matchup nightmares are all over the place. They can go super quick with Curry, Brooks, Collison, Lebron, and Josh Smith. They can go ultra big with Lebron, Gallinari, Wallace, Smith, and Haywood. Oh wait, that's the NBA. This is just fantasy. Even worse. Short of a Lebron-colypse, is there any way this team doesn't take the regular season crown again? With the lessened games played cap and the shorter rotatations that brings, can your eight guys beat Trieu's eight guys? Heck, can your eight guys beat Trieu's seven guys?!
NBA Team: Miami Heat

Fat Jubas - Eric L (9-8-1)
The Jubas had a great inaugural season, as they came within an inch of toppling eventual champion Sour Snails. Heading into the last day, they were tied before folding but not holding their head in shame. In fact, the Jubas may be the best bet to topple the Snails as they played them extremely tough during all their matchups. This veteran team led the league in FT%, passed the ball spendidly (second in AST), and shot the ball effectively and efficiently (fifth in 3PT and FG%). This is a team with no real weaknesses, as they rank about average in just about every other category. Impressive.

The veteran laden team is headed by Steven Nash, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen. All three are past their primes (although Nash isn't slipping much) but will likely remain very effective players for at least another two seasons. The young cornerstone of this team is Brook Lopez, who is the most well rounded big man around, and will be joined this year by his brother Robin Lopez. I vote we make all their stats count double for the Wonder Twin team up. Small forward Jeff Green is who he is at this point, a nice player who averages 1 3PT/BLK/STL a game, while not really rebounding enough as a power forward. That last trait could be said of Boris Diaw, who rebounds even less than Green, but has a unique stat that makes him a valuable reserve. There is a hole at the backup guard position, with new Cavs guard Ramon Sessions likely fitting the role. Given enough shots and time, Sessions can be outstanding and we predict good things.

The other backup guards, Goran Dragic and Rodrigue Beaubois, are probably in the next generation of fantasy standouts, but will be stuck firmly behind Nash and Jason Kidd respestively, for at least another year. Intriguing sleepers Nicolas Batum and Taj Gibson anchor the bench but they should be ready to enter the fray at any time, as Diaw and the lesser Lopez could be taken out for matchup reasons. We know owner Eric-L thinks of this team as a contender but we're curious how this mix of young and old will unfurl over time. With a core of Nash-Garnett-Allen be best served with some veteran help to make a run during their contending window?
NBA Team: Boston Celtics

Jedi Knights - Chris (4-12-2)
Chris had a great offseason, possibly the best of any owner in the league. Chris got married! Congratulations all around! Now that his heart is happy and he's officially wifed up, his basketball team really needs his love too. The Jedis are an efficient shooting team, ranking second in FG% and third in FT% last season. The problem was that they were sort of a mess everywhere else. Third to last in 3PT, second to last in REB/AST/BLK, and dead last in PTS. They were the best TO team in the league though! Actually, winning TOs could be a sure sign your team is bad, as the top three finishers in TOs last year (Chris, Jimmy, Jon) had a combined thirteen wins among them. The strategy in 2011 is to just throw the ball out of bounds on every possession obviously.

With Dirk Nowitzki, David Lee, and Nene, we're actually not sure how the Knights were so inept on the boards. Let's hope that was an aberration as those three should be enough to win REB once in awhile. There's absolutely nothing behind them in the frontcourt though, as neither Yi Jianlian nor Brandon Bass are good rebounders. But let's not worry about the solid -- but thin -- frontcourt. The big question will be if Jose Calderon and Hedo Turkoglu can return to form. Both were absolutely horrible last year. They were supposed to anchor Chris' passing and shooting stats but they weren't up to the task. OJ Mayo and John Salmons, nearly identical statistical players (19 PTS, 3 REB/AST, 1.5 3PT and 1 STL), are perfect on any team and we kind of love them both.

There could be a battle for that eighth rotation player position, as there doesn't seem to be much difference between Dorell Wright, Yi, and sleeper Wesley Matthews. The likely opening day starter will be Beno Udrih, who thrived passing and shooting next to ROY Tyreke Evans. Actually, Udrih has to start because Calderon will need the help in the AST category, even if he returns to 10+ per game. So that's how this season shapes up for the Jedi Knights: Calderon and Turkoglu need to make a comeback!
NBA Team: Toronto Raptors

Fob Stars - Jimmy (4-13-1)
We liked this team a lot in the pre-season last year. We predicted big things but were rewarded with the second worst team in the league. What happened? Well the backcourt was horrible, helping Jimmy's squad to dead last in AST and second to last in STL. On top of that, there was no defense either, as the Fob Stars miscommunicated often and also ranked dead last again in BLK. Their best category? Second in TOs!

Despite returning his top six draft picks this year, the Fob Stars can't be pleased with the effort from any of them. Only Zach Randolph outplayed his position (fifth rounder) while Chris Bosh, Chauncey Billups, Rashard Lewis, Emeka Okafor, and Louis Williams all underwhelmed. The new backcourt will feature SG Richard Hamilton and DJ Augustin, who are probably upgrades. Lou Wills will be relegated to reserve minutes, both in real life and fantasy. Nobody expected Billups to only average 5.6 AST last season and he'll have to up that by quite a bit if he wants to help his team. We do think Bosh, Randolph, Lewis, and Okafor form a well rounded front court, so we're not sure why they couldn't help this team to more wins.

Last year there was a big hole at swingman all season long and this year will be no different. Is Carlos Delfino or CJ Miles the answer? Delfino is actually quite underrated and we like his quiet combination of 3PT and STL to win out. Rookie Evan Turner seems to be a bit lost in preseason so we're not sure what to expect out of him. Fellow rookie, center Cole Aldrich, will be good at setting picks for Rip but that's about it. Overall we like this team on paper but as has been proven, they are no monsters on the court. The best case scenario here is that DJ Augustin becomes a worthy starter and Billups finds his passing eye again.
NBA Team: Detroit Pistons

(Chamberlain Conference) Transformers

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Korea Korea - Steve (12-6)
Team Korea had a great regular season by piling up twelve wins, earning a top seed, and proving they were a championship contender. A little hiccup in the playoffs prevented them from a having post-season success but that just means they're more focused this time around. With the gumption to draft Dwight Howard fifth overall last year, GM Steve proved that he was a man of vision. His team was clearly built around the big man's strengths, pushing them to second overall in REB and BLK. By surrounding Dwight with shooters, Korea was also devastating from deep (third in 3PT) and good at whipping the ball around to perimeter shooters (fourth in AST). Of course they were last in FT%, but that's to be expected with Mr. Howard on the team. Last year's third round pick, Vince Carter, was unceremoniously cut this offseason and a statement released by the team said, "Vince sucks, that's why we cut him."

Outside of Superman II, the starting lineup is a pretty old group. Jason Kidd, Jason Richardson, Andrei Kirilenko, and Antawn Jamison have all had better years but as proven last season, they've all still got value. Kidd has blossomed as an outside shooter, Richardson will be even better this year in Phoenix, and Jamison will return to 20-10 status as the new leader of the Cavaliers. The reserves are filled with some old fantasy favorites too: Andre Miller, Yao Ming, and Shawn Marion. We actually love this top eight, as they've got one or two more seasons to make a championship run. Ming will be limited to 24 minutes this season but Steve also has Yao's backup, Brad Miller. We think the addition of Andre Miller will be huge as he'll sub in for last year's disappintment, Rodney Stuckey, and provide a pile of assists backing up Kidd.

On a team with this many veterans, someone has to carry the bags right? How about NCAA tourney hero and nicest guy ever Gordon Hayward to schlep all these legends' bags around? Hayward probably won't get much playing time for Korea this season but he'll be invaluable as the naive comic relief. Oh and Linas Kleiza is on this team too, after terminating his contract with the Greek League's Olympiacos after just one season. He and Josh Childress must have decided to come back to the US together. Kleiza can help Hayward with the extra heavy luggage.
NBA Team: Dallas Mavericks

Half Man Half ImAsian - Oliver (11-7)
After upending division winner Korea Korea in the playoffs, Oliver's team hit a snag when it faced off against eventual champion Sour Snails. Still, Oliver must have been happy with his season. With a team that was well balanced, with no major weaknesses and a few strengths (fourth in FT%, third in REB and BLK), Half and Half got better during the off season just by jettisoning last year's fifth round pick, Richard Hamilton, in favor of Caron Butler via trade. Caron isn't a fantasy star anymore but he'll bring a lot more well rounded game than Rip.

Half and Half is led by Thunder teammates Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, who had a brilliant summer leading Team USA to a World Championship. Durant will probably win the scoring crown again, and with little bit of help, Oliver could probably handily win PTS each week as they were ranked fifth last season. Westbrook proved to be a great fantasy PG and will continue to improve but his high AST and STL is already outstanding.

The secret strength of this team is up front, with Andrew Bogut and Troy Murphy both throwing up big double doubles. Murphy is hurt to start the season but he'll be back soon. Filling in for him will be Anderson Varejao, a double double threat himself. Oliver's hoping from a bounce back season from Ben Gordon, as his streak shooting and long distance skils would really complement Durant well. The other rotation players will be center JaVale McGee and guard Rudy Fernandez. We're high on McGee but don't see a disgruntled Rudy getting much love this season. In fact, we see Mike Bibby being subbed in just for his steady leadership and assists.
NBA Team: Orlando Magic

Buffy - Roger (8-10)
Despite not making the playoffs, Roger got a nice consolation prize by making it to the Toilet Bowl finals and snatched an old favorite of his, Baron Davis, from his division mate Brian. Davis will be quite the addition because this was a team desperately in need of a point guard with range. Buffy ranked first in FG% and REB, pretty good in BLK, and dead last in 3PT. We're actually quite surprised Buffy was middle of the road in AST as they only had Andre Miller over five dimes per last season.

Last year's mega trade of Brandon Roy for Danny Granger will give this team another huge boost from behind the arc. That will open up a lot of space for Tim Duncan, Marc Gasol, Carlos Boozer, and Elton Brand to operate down low. Duncan and Brand have seen better days but Gasol is starting to rival his brother in all around effectiveness, fantasy wise. Those four (and Lamar Odom) are the reason Buffy is so strong in the big man categories.

There's a host of familiar names that will shuttle in and out of the lineup to form a very deep squad. Kirk Hinrich and Mike Dunleavy will be counted on for more outside shooting and some passing numbers. Ron Artest won his championship but he'll probably take a seat with no room for major minutes. We're curious if Wilson Chandler was just a flash in the pan or really a Matrix-lite, we're undecided for the most part. He'll start the season but Dunleavy or Josh Howard might soon steal his minutes. Overall, Roger's team is once again deep, laden with veterans, and this time around, has the outside shooting to become truly well rounded.
NBA Team: Chicago Bulls

Squirtle Squad - Brian (8-10)
Squaring off in the toughest division in the land, the Squirtles weren't great but they weren't bad either. The stats bear this out as they didn't rank in the top five or bottom five in any category. Brian's team was serviceable, that's about right. We're curious why Baron Davis wasn't a keeper but maybe big man Serge Ibaka was the right choice here as Brian's weakest category was BLKs.

Buoyed by Carmelo Anthony's offensive fireworks early in the season, the Squirtles were looking great. Melo has become a complete fantasy player as he contributes in every category. However, Melo and Al Jefferson weren't a good inside out combo so GM Brian shipped Jefferson out in return for steady Joe Johnson. Back in Atlanta, Johnson will contribute his usual outstanding numbers. The big find last year was Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans, who averaged an outstanding 21.1 PTS, 5.4 REB, 5.9 AST, 1.6 STL, and 1.0 3PT. Can he get better? Does he even need to get better? And now potential ROY candidate, Blake Griffin is back, and he'll likely fill the frontcourt void left by Jefferson. Whew, that is a strong foundation.

The unknown factor with this team is everybody else. Serge Ibaka is good and getting better, Anthony Randolph has been the biggest tease for two years running, and Terrence Williams only needs minutes to contribute (he averaged 14 PTS, 7 REB, 6 AST last April!). The steady vets off the bench will be Mike Miller and Shane Battier. Miller will drain jumpers all day long down in Florida -- although not until January? We're not sure what to think of Jeff Teague, rookie Al-Farouq Aminu, and Arron Afflalo, but they might not to play much if everything works out like Squirtle fans predict.
NBA Team: New York Knicks

(Russell Conference) Thundercats

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Nande? ReBuRonSAN - Mikey (13-5)
Mikey's team jumped out to a 9-2 record last season and didn't really let up, finishing with the second best regular season record in the league and cementing themselevs as a top contender. Of course, we're not entirely sure how that happened as they really displayed no discernible strengths (aside from top three in STL) and few weaknesses (third to last FG%, fourth to last FT%). Franchise player Gilbert Arenas only played 32 games due to injury and bringing a gun into the locker room, further clouding the issue of how Mikey got his team to achieve such great heights. We can only attribute last season's success to Coach of the Year Mikey, who got the absolute maximum out of his squad. At least until the playoffs, which resulted in a first round mega-upset by lightly regarded divison foe, Chunky Monkeys. But that was last season and Nande is looking forward to more butt kicking this year and revenge on the Monkeys.

With Arenas gone most of the season, Stephen Jackson stepped up his game and delivered explosive performances all across the board. Captain Jack took all the big shots, talked all the smack Gilbert couldn't do, and probably brought a few handguns to the locker room too. Bulldozer Corey Maggette stepped up alongside Jackson, and contributed 20 ppg despite being selected in the last round of the draft. An absolute steal wouldn't you say? Swingman Andre Iguodala was the heartbeat of the team as he contributed positive numbers across the board, and he's coming off a great summer, as is power forward Kevin Love, who will now have all the rebounds in Minnesota to himself. A nifty little trade gave Mikey some extra picks up top during this draft and he used to them to select Vince Carter, Josh McRoberts, and rookie scorer Jordan Crawford. While Carter is hardly Vinsanity anymore, he's a great value in the redraft and will be a very nice addition to the backcourt. We literally don't know who Josh McRoberts is but he's the first big man off the bench for better or worse. He plays in Indiana so maybe he'll be Troy Murphy-lite?

Actually, there is a lack of bigs on this team, making us think we'll see some small ball from Nande this season. Last year the corpses of Jermaine O'Neal and Ben Wallace manned the middle but Mikey has smartly decided to find some living players to plug in at the PF and C positions. DeJuan Blair will be the starting center as management waits on either Spencer Hawes or Timofey Mozgov to emerge. We're high on Timofey, if only because his name is fun to say. There's no reason to doubt Mikey's talents this season and the addition of Gilbert Arenas is like getting an All Star back, provided he doesn't do anything else crazy.
NBA Team: Denver Nuggets

100 Acre Wood Heffalumps - Jose (12-6)
The case could be made that the Heffalumps should have earned a higher seed based on their superior regular season record. However, they were demoted to the third seed because Pierre's Bombardiers won their division while Jose's team were the runners up. Unfair? Maybe, but this classy organization didn't complain. I know this is technically Kobe Bryant's team but the Heffalumps played more like an extension of their point guard, Rajon Rondo. They were ranked second in AST and STL, fourth in FG%/AST/TO, weak in 3PT, and third to last in PTS. That's a franchise that plays like Rondo right?

For a team loaded with shooters, it's strange that they are ranked fourth to last in 3PT actually. Between Kobe, Kevin Martin, and Jason Terry, there should plenty of threes raining down. I guess Martin was hurt much of last season. Long time Heffa favorite, Andrei Kirilenko didn't make the cut this season, as Jose brought in Channing Frye and Mehmet Okur to add some 3PT shooting to the frontcourt, a nice wrinkle to the offense. Frye and Okur represents a change of direction for this team as last year they had Kirilenko and bruisers Anderson Varejao and DeJuan Blair manning the power forward spot. Now all the rebounding will be left up to Al Horford and Marcus Camby. And if you believe in Greg Oden, he's here too, waiting his turn for the IR slot to open. There's also a backup big, Minnesota's Anthony Tolliver, on this team but I literally know nothing about him. Is Anthony Tolliver Darko Milicic's new American name?

Twenty three year old rookie Wesley Johnson will be tasked with manning the small forward position immediately, as his all around game has already given him an edge over fan favorite Tayshaun Prince. Johnson will be given a lot of responsibility early on and we like him. The biggest question about this team is health. Oden and Okur are already out for a bit, and Camby and Martin are perpetual injury risks. This team is deep on paper but there always seems to be a few players in street clothes. Also, we still think Kobe is slightly miscast on this team, as his strengths/weaknesses seem to be in contrast with the rest of the team, but clearly Jose knows something the rest of us losers don't after securing one of the best records in the league last season. The 100 Acre Wood is for winners only!
NBA Team: Portland Trailblazers

Chunky Monkeys - Evan (9-9)
Whoa, did a .500 team go all the way to the Finals last season or what? Evan had the second overall pick last season, Chris Paul, but misfired on some of his other choices. Mehmet Okur in Rd4, Leandro Barbosa in Rd5, and a weak rest of the draft that isn't worth mentioning here. To further complicate things, CP3 went down and ended up playing only half a season, and it looked like the Monkeys were headed for the Toilet Bowl. A few mega-trades and some savvy free agent pickups later, those crazy Monkeys not only made the playoffs but shocked opponents and delighted mothers as they rickrolled their way to the championship round. Unfortunately, CP3 didn't come back to full strength until a little too late and Evan didn't quite have enough to fuel the greatest upset of all time. Still, a splendid season.

Having chosen to go small from the beginning, the Monkeys were predictably good in the guard categories (second in 3PT, third in AST, fourth in STL) and bad in the big men stuff (last in FG% and REB, third to last in BLK). The coaching staff isn't going to change anything now so the same small ball philosophy remains. Paul and Brandon Roy are the best one-two duo that fake money can buy and they complement each other perfectly. Third guard Jrue Holiday was absolutely essential during the playoff run and has now established himself as the starter in Philadelphia. Center Andrea Bargnani is the best small ball big man in the land and there doesn't seem to be any limit to his minutes in Toronto now that Bosh is gone. Trevor Ariza is a great swingman for this system with his very high 3PT/STL combination. Luke Ridnour will compete for the starting job in Minnesota but might hop between the starting lineup and the bench.

SG James Harden was a keeper selection but there's a decent chance he'll split time with DeMar DeRozan as it's hard to tell if either of them will emerge enough to be counted on the whole season. Right now the power forward position will be manned by Travis Outlaw, who is a decent long range shooter so maybe he'll work out -- although we think there could be a better option. What we're not about sure about is what JJ Hickson and Darko Milicic are doing on this team. They have some REB and BLK ability but we think they were drafted to provide some form of half time entertainment. Where will the Monkeys end up at the end of this season? Who knows but with CP3 back to full health, we're pretty sure it's going to be better than a .500 record for Evan's team this time around.
NBA Team: Phoenix Suns

Funk Coalition - Jon (5-12-1)
The Funk were hoping for big things season one but came out and fell on their face. While the rest of the Thundercat division finished .500 or above, Jon's team had no offensive output and little defensive intensity, ranking second to last in PTS and FT%, fourth to last in STL and BLK. The lone bright spot was a high rank in TOs, which means they were good at protecting the ball -- but not doing much with it.

The big men on this team failed in every way last year. LaMarcus Aldridge didn't play up to his fourth round selection, Andris Biedrins was a huge bust, Tyson Chandler was injured, and even with the breakout season from Joakim Noah, this cast of characters weren't good. The late season trade of Joe Johnson brought in Al Jefferson, who will have to stay healthy to justify the decision. The same frontcourt returns this season (minus Chandler) and that may either be stupid or loyal. The loss of Johnson in the backcourt means Rodney Stuckey is the new shooting guard, but the real shooting will come from JR Smith, who will man the small forward spot. A big question is where Tony Parker is headed this season, out of town or back to being an All Star? The good news is that Deron Williams is on board and still dropping dimes and running the offense.

There is hardly a bench to speak of here. Jonny Flynn had a rough rookie season and he's currently on the injured list, Reggie Williams and Courtney Lee will spell JR Smith but will likely only be situational matchups. Rookie Derrick Favors is at least a year away according to published reports. The Funk might be in for another long season unless Al Jefferson can dominate and stay off the injured list. A big if.
NBA Team: Minnesota Timberwolves

Schedule Template 2011 (Original)

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Did you know that your fine commissioner Alvin does a schedule template each and every year that accounts for strength of schedule, conference and divisional games, and needs to be updated manually? Wowza! Yes, this league is so pro that the commissioners are offering their best work to make sure everything is fair and equitable. So please, if you have a spare point guard or big man needing a cheap way to exit your roster, consider your fine commishes as trade targets first.

And if you have League Manager powers, do not adjust the schedule settings or reset them, otherwise Alvin will be very upset.

2011 Draft Position Analysis

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Does draft position equate to winning? Somehow the owners with the middle draft picks came out worse for wear during the season. The three worst teams last year drafted #6, 8 and 9 overall in 2010. Despite picking at decent positions, Eric A, Jimmy, and Chris combined for a 11-40-3 record. One factor could have been transactions, as Eric-A and Chris both had very low transaction moves during the season. Or perhaps their poor inaguaral season points to the drop off in top tier superstars from the #5 position on?

Interestingly, the next couple picks of this year's draft are owned entirely by the low teens drafters of last year (#10, 11, 13, 12). After that, any patterns devolve but it was interesting to look at where a team finished relative to their draft opportunity. For example, Eric-L, Pierre, and Mikey drafted the last three positions in the 2010 (#16, 14, 15 respectively) but performed at a 33-20-1 clip. The extreme outlier here is Mikey, who drafted second to last yet compiled the second best regular season record in the league. Impressive work!

Thien's team drafted #3 overall but he finished with only a .500 season, and he was mostly unaffected by injury to his top guys -- unlike Evan who lost #2 overall Chris Paul pretty early on. Thien did rally to win the Toilet Bowl but his regular season was certainly a cause of stress as his team performed erratically throughout.

Trieu, with the number one overall pick, won the whole damn thing, and faced off in the Finals versus the number two overall pick, Evan. However it's not that simple as Evan's team was actually only .500 during the regular season (before CP3 returned and a trade pushed Evan to a strong post-season). Trieu did have the benefit of drafting Lebron James but it can't be said that was the only reason he rose to the top. His team, and subsequent draft picks, were incredibly prescient and made for a dominating force. I mean, he did scoop up Stephen Curry in the 5th round, and now Curry is easily a second round pick after his stellar rookie campaign. So does draft position determine who will win? The answer is: "who knows?" But it sure is fun to analyze these things in the aftermath.

Agent Zero is back!

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Coach Flip Saunders said Wednesday that Arenas was fined an undisclosed amount by the team for claiming to have a sore knee before the Wizards' game against Atlanta on Tuesday night.

Arenas said after the game that he pretended to have a bum knee to give teammate Nick Young a chance to start.

"I told [Young] I'd sacrifice playing tonight so he can get some time in because I know he's kind of frustrated he's not getting a chance to crack the [small forward] position, especially since we're going three guards," Arenas said Tuesday, smiling. "So I told him I'll go and fake an injury or say something's wrong with me so you can start."
-Gilbert Arenas fined for faking injury

2011 Keeper Analysis

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What a difference a year makes. After one full season of playing, there were quite a few difficult cuts as owners were tasked with whittling down their rosters to just six keepers. My interest lay in seeing which were the high priced veterans or promising young guys ultimately deemed not good enough. Only four teams stayed pat, having drafted "perfectly." Thien, Jimmy, Chris, and Eric-L all elected to keep their first six selections from the 2010 draft. Technically, so did Trieu but he also has a bonus keeper due to his trade with Mikey.

Who were the toughest cuts? Well out of the first two rounds, nobody was tossed back into the redraft rosters. But Korea Korea's GM Steve decided that Vince Carter wasn't up to snuff and released him despite having invested a high third rounder on him. Similarly, Alvin was on the verge of cutting his third round pick, Caron Butler, but managed to trade him the night before the 2011 draft. Both decisions indicate how far Carter and Butler have fallen in fantasy circles. The other third rounder to hit the chopping block was Pierre's Ben Gordon, which doesn't come as much of a surprise after his lackluster season.

Other big names cut maliciously by their general managers: Mehmet Okur, Baron Davis, Shawn Marion (4th round), Richard Hamilton, Andris Biedrins, Jermaine O'Neal (5th), Leandro Barbosa, Mario Chalmers, Greg Oden, Thaddeus Young, Michael Redd (6th).

What about the other end of the spectrum? Five undrafted free agents made keeper rosters this year: Darren Collison, Jrue Holiday, JaVale McGee, Marcus Thornton, and Serge Ibaka. They all have youth and tremendous upside, and prove that paying close attention during the season can have huge benefits. Wait, that should be obvious. As a starting five, these guys wouldn't be all that bad, especially as they mature.

Other low end draft picks that fought their way into owners' keeper hearts. Corey Maggette (12th round), James Harden (11th), Jamal Crawford (9th), Andray Blatche, Lamar Odom (8th), Jason Terry and Joakim Noah (7th). And there there's Yao Ming, who was a huge X-factor heading into last season. Steve had the foresight to pluck Mr. Yao in the 9th round and even at twenty four minutes a game this year, he should be worth the wait.

Pre-Draft Trades

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With rumors swirling before the draft date, owners scrambled to adjust their keeper rosters. Despite hopes of some big names being shuffled around, and one or two really high caliber players being on the trading block, in the end, the biggest name moved was Pogiboys' forward Caron Butler. Butler, a third round selection last year has been exchanged for Half Man Half Asian's third round pick this year.

Alvin must be disappointed that one of the cornerstones of his franchise just one year ago was close to the keeper chopping block. Butler did average 15 PTS, 5.4 REB, and 1.8 STL after his mid-season trade to the Mavericks but his potential as a franchise guy is clearly over. From Oliver's end, he gets an upgrade over Rip Hamilton and adds a still strong STLs guy.

Earlier in the week, the Sour Snails and Nande Reburonsan also made a move, albeit with no actual players trading places permanently. Trieu's team was too deep and he'd been looking to hold onto more than six keepers so paid Mikey a 1st, 2nd, and 6th round pick in this year's draft in order to receive a 3rd, 5th, and F Danilo Gallinari back. A savvy move like this allows the Snails to keep their rising star without having to risk the chance of not getting him back in the 2011 draft. Nande will also be in the enviable position of having quite a few early round picks in order to increase the depth of his own roster. We are predicting more trades of this type in the future as they seem to benefit teams both short and long on keeper talent.

The official start of the 2011 draft is right around the corner!

2011 Keepers

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2011 Draft Order

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*Toilet Bowl winner and runner-up get picks #1 and #2, then it's reverse order of standings, no snake. (Hot Gems & Buffy)
**Champion and runner-up get last and next-to-last picks respectively. (Sour Snails & Chunky Monkeys)


First round overall #1 and #2:
Hot Gems (9-9)*
LA Buffy (8-10)*

Every round afterwards:
  1. Human Amoebas (3-15)
  2. Fob Stars (4-13-1)
  3. Jedi Knights (4-12-2)
  4. Funk Coalition (5-12-1)
  5. Morrie's Pogiboys (7-11)
  6. Squirtle Squad (8-10)
  7. LA Buffy (8-10)*
  8. Hot Gems (9-9)*
  9. Fat Jubas (9-8-1)
  10. Bayside Bombardiers (11-7)
  11. Half Man Half ImAsian (11-7)
  12. 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps (12-6)
  13. Korea! Korea! (12-6)
  14. Nande Reburonsan (13-5)
  15. Chunky Monkeys (9-9)**
  16. Sour Snails (16-1-1)**

Tie breakers:
8-10: Squirtle tied with Buffy, but Buffy had more categories won, 1-1
9-9: Chunky Monkeys beat Golden Ticket, 1-0
12-6: Korea beat 100 Acre Wood, 1-0

Gearing up for 2011

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Welcome to the new season! It's a dark dark world as the Lakers are the two time champs but our league champion, Trieu, is loving both his and the Lakers' big wins. So, are we ready for the 2011 season? Everyone is in right?

Keepers declared by Oct 7th-ish, we draft asap after that. It should only be a six round draft this time around. A little rules refresher if needed as well as links to final standings from last year and rosters:
2010 Rules | 2010 Final Standings | 2010 Rosters

Possible rules changes:
1. Lineup Changes: Last year it was "Daily - Lock at First Game of the Day," I'm changing it to "Daily - Lock Individually at Scheduled Gametime." I doubt there's much argument here and we only didn't change it last year because the setting was locked.

2. Games Played Limits: This is the big one. Last year it was 32 and we voted it down to 22 after our WK2 games. However ESPN would only allow it to go as low as 25 for a seven game week. This year ESPN changed that and we can move it to any number we want. So can we do 22 again now that it's available? Or go even lower? Remember, if you are one below the cap number, the entire next day's slate counts, so you can go over the soft cap of 22, making the hard cap about +7 of our set number.

3. Waiver Wire: Currently waivers is "Move to Last After Claim, Never Reset Order." Free Agents are exacty that, free for the taking I believe.

I've been wanting to try ESPN's Free Agent Auction which gives each team $100 to use throughout the season to do blind auctions for free agents. "Simply put, FAAB is an in-season salary cap that covers all your free-agent needs." I love the concept but am only using it in one league this season for football. I'd want to try it but don't know if anyone else would be up for it. How FAAB works.

4. Anything else? Payouts for next year's winner, additional rule changes, administrative details?

[Update 10.12.2010] #1 and #2 were instituted, meaning lineup changes are now daily and the soft cap for games played limit per week is now 22 games, assuming a normal seven day matchup.

Draft Day Manifesto

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"Matthew Berry will tell you that you can win your league with the help of four simple words: "point guards" and "power forwards." Of course, there are plenty of other successful draft strategies, but the "point guards/power forwards" philosophy is one that has worked for me for years, and I'm not about to abandon it now.

For the uninitiated, the point guards/power forwards strategy is fairly simple and straightforward, but to simplify the name of the strategy, it's all about what one of our editors calls "multicategoricalicity," defined as "a player's propensity to contribute in multiple unrelated fantasy categories."

Essentially, the strategy involves loading up on guards who can score, dish, steal and hit 3-pointers (typically point guards) and big men who can score, rebound and block shots (typically power forwards). Fill around them with a few quality swingmen who can score, drain the 3 and create steals and a few centers who can bolster your rebounding and shot-blocking numbers, and you'll have yourself a well-rounded squad that can compete in categories across the board."
-More at ESPN's 2011 Fantasy Basketball Draft Kit-

2010 Championship: Kingdom Come

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After annihilating the competition during the regular season, suffering just one loss and one tie, the Sour Snails were heavy favorites to win the 2010 championship. While they did indeed finish out the season and prove their dominance, it wasn't easy. There were quite a few unexpected bumps during the playoffs as they barely squeaked by the Fat Jubas (tied heading into the last day), very barely beat back Half Man Half ImAsian (it took some amazing FG% and PTS numbers on Sunday, mostly from LBJ, to seal the win), almost suffered the biggest upset in SlamNation history against the Chunky Monkeys.

There was some controversy during the Finals week as the Monkeys made a clerical error and filled their lineup to the max, negating their Sunday games. Gracious as ever, Snails' owner Trieu offered to count the crucial last few games, even though going by the strict letter of the law would have ensured a victory. That set up a very exciting Sunday slate of games, which caused at least four fans to faint and another sixty sent home for overly exuberant celebrations.

The return of Chris Paul for a full week was huge to Evan's upset chances, and while he averaged nearly 10 AST per game, Paul's scoring and steals numbers were off his normal pace. What CP3's return did however was drastically reduce Snails' rookie Darren Collison's contributions, which really hurt Trieu's lineup.

Still the combination of top picks Lebron James (30.7 PTS, 9.7 REB, 7.3 AST, 1.3 STL) , Josh Smith (15 PTS, 9.7 REB, 4.7 AST, 2.3 BLK), and Gerald Wallace (15.0 PTS and 9.0 REB), flanked by Stephen Curry (19.7 PTS, 9.3 AST, 2.3 3PT, 1.3 STL) and Aaron Brooks (18.3 PTS, 7.0 AST, 2.0 3PT) proved to be too much for the Monkeys.

In the end, the Snails showed class and character and deserve every diamond on their soon to be received twelve carat championship ring. Plus one championship for the Chamberlain Conference and the Silverhawks division. This is Trieu's second SlamNation championship, and his team could be set for a huge repeat next year. Congratulations!

Let's not overlook the amazing post-season the Monkeys had however, toppling both Russell Conference division leaders, Nande ReBuRonSAN and Bayside Bombardiers in consecutive weeks. In the end, they lost 3-5-1, tying 3PT, winning the crucial STL category, and coming up just short in FG%. They proved that just getting into the playoffs gives any team a chance for success. Late in the season, coach Evan had all but given up on his playoff chances but he slipped in and pulled off a Butler-like run to the Finals.

In the end, the Monkeys were outdone by poor shooting. Trevor Ariza (7.0 PTS, 25 FG%), Rasual Butler (11.0 PTS, 34.0 FG%), Andrea Bargnani (19.5 PTS, 39.4 FG%), and Chris Paul (10.8 PTS, 42.2 FG%). Only Brandon Roy shot the ball well, with 18.0 PTS on 46.2 FG%. Strangely, Trieu had LBJ and Curry shooting over twenty shots a game but at only 47.1 FG% and 38.3 FG% respectively, which means the other guys really stepped up their accuracy during the championship week, burying open shots as James and Curry drew defenders away. Nets' rookie Terrence Williams was especially potent, hitting about half his shots on fourteen attempts per game. Williams for MVP?

Let's talk about Trieu the general manager. While we were skeptical of his draft, Trieu proved all the analysts wrong by taking the right people and focusing on an incredible small ball team that could also compete in REB and BLK. And what about the fifth round selection of Stephen Curry, a Nostradamus-like move. At that point in the draft, no rookies had been taken yet but Trieu had the foresight to tag Curry ahead of Brandon Jennings, Tyreke Evans, and Blake Griffin. Over the playoff run, Curry averaged 20.4 PTS 7.5 AST, 4.5 REB, 2.8 3PT, and 1.9 STL, becoming the second offensive option and perfectly complementing Lebron. Add in the contributions of fellow rookies Chris Douglas-Roberts, Dejuan Blair, Darren Collision, and the aforementioned Terrence Williams and it's safe to say that Trieu has an eye for young talent.

Heck, he won the entire thing despite carrying just one center eligible player into the playoffs, sophomore Clippers big man DeAndre Jordan, who had almost 7 PTS/REB and 1 BLK per game. Okay, I'm just gushing at this point. Needless to say, Trieu had the Midas touch this season and we're looking forward to his continued success in future years. The Sour Snails are at the top of the heap and have the youth and talent to stay there, not to mention the rights to Lebron James for infinity!

2010 Toilet Bowl: The Golden Ticket

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Despite a big slide at the end of the regular season and falling out of the playoffs, Thien really pulled his game together and ended up with a great consolidation prize: the number one overall pick in next year's draft. While he started off the playoffs a little slow, he picked up steam and dispatched his opponents 5-4, 6-2-1, and 7-2. The Toilet Bowl Finals versus Buffy looked like it might be tough matchup on paper, especially missing franchise center Andrew Bynum, but Thien's team handily won REB and BLK, along with just about everything else.

Roger's team had Marc Gasol and Randy Foye ailing, but Tim Duncan, Lamar Odom, Mehmet Okur, Carlos Boozer, and Danny Granger all had pretty full schedules. Buffy's deep squad came out of the gates stumbling and never recovered, opening the door for a pounding at the hands of the Golden Dragons / Hot Gems / Golden One (Thien changed his name during each week of the playoffs in an effort to sell more merchandise, savvy).

Leading the way for Golden One was Dwayne Wade (30.7 PTS, 6.7 REB, 4.3 AST, 1.7 STL, 1.0 BLK during the week), who gave everything he had during the season, avoided the injury list, and produced like the ultra superstar that he is. Co-captain Paul Pierce contributed mightily with an all around effort, notching 19 PTS and nearly 5 REB/AST per game. And while Mike Miller, Al Harrington, and Raymond Felton may not strike immediate fear into opposing fans, they all came through in dream fashion, contributing 3PT, STL, and AST across the board. And a special prize must go to Chris Kaman, who dominated the inside with 18.8 PTS, 12.5 REB, and 1.5 BLK over his past four games.

With this Toilet Bowl championship, Thien's team will be guaranteed a great player next season and will likely do better than this year's 9-9 record. Amazing job Golden Gem Dragons!

As a side note, with Trieu and Thien both winning during the playoffs, this must be the most successful GM sibling pair in league history. It's as if John and Jim Paxson had both collected championships during their front office tenures. Mama must be so proud of her boys! And insiders say that their older brother, Tony, is no slouch in the basketball department either. Triple threat!

Toilet Bowl Finals

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#5 Hot Gems (9-9) vs #6 LA Buffy
The race is on for the number one pick next year. Recent hauls at the number one position have included Kevin Durant and Michael Beasley, with Durant vaulting the Sour Snails from a worst-to-first championship in 2007-2008. So this Toilet Bowl could have huge implications as the early clear prize is Kentucky's John Wall, a franchise caliber point guard. Of course, second prize might not be too bad either, as forward Ohio State's Evan Turner is a potential do-everything type fantasy player. So who will be competing for the honor of selecting first? It looks like it'll be Roger's Buffy from the Chamberlain Conference and Thiens' Hot Gems from the Russells.

After neatly disposing of non-contender Jedi Knights in RD1, Buffy faced division foe (and higher seeded despite the same record) Squirtle Squad. The Squirtles took out league weakling Fobstars easily but ran out of steam against Buffy, losing 2-6-1 as Shaun Livingston made an appearance for one game. Shaun Livingston! With Danny Granger heating up big time, Roger's team is poised for a Toilet Bowl win, one that could land them the perfect piece to go along their enviable big man lineup of Tim Duncan, Carlos Boozer, Lamar Odom, Marc Gasol, and Mehmet Okur. While old vet Andre Miller has been more than serviceable, getting a young stud like Wall could really top off an up and down season for Buffy.

Don't start the parade yet though, because the Hot Gems have patched things together after collapsing over the last few weeks of the regular season. Instead of being in the playoffs, the Gems slip slopped into the Toilet Bowl (allowing the Chunky Monkeys to sneak in and be on their Cinderella ride to the Finals) and barely dispatched the Human Amoebas and Funk Coalition. And they weren't pretty victories either, as they won by 3 PTS in their matchup against the putrid Amoebas and barely squeaked by the horrendous Funk. Led by Dwayne Wade and Paul Pierce, the former Golden Dragons are a little thin across the board and could be primed for an upset. A 26 PTS, 17 REB outburst by Al Harrington gave Thien's team the early week lead but there's still a lot of games to go. The big man duo of Chris Kaman and Theo Ratliff will really have to work the boards and protect the rim if Gems wants to win.

The good news for these two teams is that both Wall and Turner are slated to be superstars. While getting a point guard is priority one for both squads, I doubt Turner would be a bad consolidation prize. The 2011 Draft is shaping up to be Durant-Oden Part II so it'll be exciting to see who escapes with the first overall pick. Congrats to Hot Gems and Buffy for making it to the Toilet Bowl finals!

Championship Preview

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#1 Sour Snails (16-1-1) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (9-9)
With both teams emerging out of a fast and furious finish from the previous week, the dust settled (just barely) on Sunday night. By the time midnight rolled around, it was the Chunky Monkeys versus the Sour Snails. With both teams relatively healthy (the Monkeys are missing Harden and Chandler) while the Snails are missing Josh Howard, this will be a clash of the titan (and non-titan in the case of the Monkeys).

This match-up is a juxtaposition of opposites.
  • 1 vs. 2. It features the first and second overall pick in Lebron James -- who's been in a stratosphere by himself this year and the incomparable CP3 -- a potential bust who's missed a large portion of this season with a serious knee injury.
  • Perfect vs Perfect. 100% on Calc AB vs 100% on Calc AB (this is a private matter between Trieu and Evan)
  • 1 vs. 8. Mostly importantly It features the first seed and the 8th seed. The Snails, who by and large cruised to one of the most dominant seasons in history, have been the run-away favorites all season. WIth the exception of a mid-season, asterisk highlighted all-star week loss to Buffy, the Snails never lost a game all season. Headlined by the ridiculous LBJ, the Snails feature athletic freaks like Crash, J-Smoove and unbelievable young funs including Steph Curry, Aaron Brooks, Darren Collison. Honestly, the team doesn't need much else. The question is whether the young bucks can keep it up for this last week. There are signs of slow down in Brooks, Collison is losing minutes to CP3 and Steph Curry has been undoubtedly knicked up these last several weeks.

On the other side of the table, the Monkeys limped in to the playoffs with little expectations. In fact, team brass, with CP3 out with a knee injury, basically admitted defeat mid-season with the trade of Danny Granger and Memo Okur for the then-injured BRoy and young but unproven talent like Wilson Chandler and Channing Frye. However, with some luck (Thien's team suffered an unimaginable choke-job from a 5-game slide) and some timely wins, the Monkeys found themselves as the final seed of the playoffs.

There are a few underlying stories in this matchup. This is expected to be Chris Paul's first full week back at full strength (as illustrated by his 15 point and 13 dimes effort last night). However, the counter to this is that the Snail's super sleeper Darren Collison has taken a big hit to his PT. While Collison has still been filling up the stat-sheet, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out. The Monkeys have had a few players step up in recent weeks including new starters, Jrue Holiday (thanks to doghouse bound Lou Williams) and Channing Frye (freak injury to Robin Lopez) while Snail stars Aaron Brooks J-Smoove have hit a bit of a rut.

That said, this is still a classic David and Goliath matchup. The mighty Snails are the unquestioned Goliaths. The Monkeys aren't even quite David's at this point. They are David's puny younger brother. The Monkeys will need their two captains in CP3 and BRoy7 to play like all-stars to have a chance. The Snails have 4-5 all-stars on their rosters alone so the Monkeys will need their entire lineup to step up if they are to have a chance.

[Editor's note] Both teams have been in the Finals before, with a similarly outmatched squad (on paper) from Season 1 for the Monkeys and a winning season from the Snails in Season 2. Back in 2008, they even met in the playoffs for a round. Is this the biggest rivalry in SlamNation? Let's find out who wins first eh?

Playoffs: Conference Finals

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CHAMBERLAIN CONFERENCE
#1 Sour Snails (16-1-1) vs #3 Half Man Half ImAsian (11-7)
There was almost a major upset in SlamNation as the Sour Snails were tied with Fat Jubas heading into the last day of games. As it was, they barely won the 3PT, STL and BLK categories. Only a combined seven threes by Lebron James, Steph Curry, and Danilo Gallinari (plus a huge game winning block by LBJ in the closing seconds) enabled the Snails to move ahead. Whew, disaster averted! It must be troubling that the Snails were taken to the wire but the Jubas always play them tough so maybe their toughest competition is over.

Then again, they face a successful Cinderella this week as Half Man Half Amazing took down number two seed Korea! Korea! without breaking a sweat, neatly capturing six categories by a wide margin. It didn't help that Dwight Howard only played two games for Korea! and was outblocked 10 to 5 by JaVale McGee. The only players who remotely showed up to play for Steve's team was Manu Ginobili and Vince Carter, and they couldn't fend off an explosive Kevin Durant and Troy Murphy.

So what now? Do the Snails recover from a scare or do they have another unexpected fight on their hands? In their one regular season matchup, Trieu defeated Oliver 5-4 but by pretty wide margins in all the categories. They should dominate all the small ball categories and then it's up to REB and BLK to determine the winner. If McGee and Murphy keep throwing up double doubles for Half Man Half Asian, the Snails might be in trouble. And ho shit, what about Drew Gooden's 26 point 20 rebound effort on Tuesday night? Only to be somewhat offset by Gerald Wallace's 17-19. And what about Kevin Durant's 45 points on Monday? King James, Trieu needs you to power him into the Finals! This could be a real battle and both teams have their stars going a near full schedule. This is the marquee matchup of the week for sure.

RUSSELL CONFERENCE
#2 Bayside Bombardiers (11-7) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (9-9)
Talking about upsets, the Monkeys pulled one off while the Bombardiers narrowly avoided falling victim to one. Let's start with the Monkeys, who cruised to a big upset over Nande by carrying their end of regular season momentum into the playoffs. As Mikey's team got decimated by injuries --six players felled, prompting him to ask for help from the league office to fill out games played -- Evan's squad took advantage behind Trevor Ariza (9 STL, 13 AST), Jrue Holiday (5 3PT, 8 STL, 18 AST), and Channing Frye (7 3PT). That's right, the stars of this team were nowhere to be found but Brandon Roy, Andrea Bargnani, and hypothetically Chris Paul will need to step up if they want to defeat the Bombardiers. Toppling a one seed was hard but they'll need more to do it again.

We saw Pierre's team as a potential upset victim because their #2 versus #3 seed matchup was a bit of a misnomer but they dispatched 100 Acre Wood Heffalumps through a hard fought week of 30+ games for each team. They squeaked out wins in 3PT and TO, while tying REB, on the way to a 5-3-1 victory. They have Pau Gasol, David West, and Jamal Crawford all playing well and Mo Williams returned for some big numbers. Center Samuel Dalembert is averaging nearly a double double with two blocks per game and if he can keep it up, he'll be a big reason for the Bombardiers' playoff success.

Generally speaking, this is a classic small ball versus big ball matchup. The Bombardiers are loaded inside while the Monkeys have smooth shooters as their big men. As it stands now, the fight could be over AST since the Monkeys are a little light in that department without CP3 at full strength. One of these teams will barely lose the PTS or TO category and that could be the cause of their defeat. This is going to be an intriguing matchup and the outcome could hinge on Paul returning for major minutes as soon as possible. Who will represent the Russells in the Finals? We can't tell either!