2021 Pre-Season: Chamberlain

Well, two months later and I did the Chamberlain pre-season reviews...whoops. Here's the 2021 Russell one, and um, whoops! [ 2020 Chamberlain | Recap | 2020 Russell | Recap ]

TeamID - Abbrev - Name (2020 Record, 2019 Record)

9 SQSQ Squirtle Squad (14-3-2, 12-6-2)

Way back in 2012, SQSQ led the lead in wins with a 10-2 record during an aborted NBA season. This time around, SQSQ won the top postseason seed via fourteen wins and three losses, but lost the opportunity to capture their first title due to the aborted regular season. Heading into this new year, SQSQ is still poised to become a champion, and didn’t GM Brian know it!

He moved breakout star Bam Adebayo for LeBron James, signaling a shift into win-now mode. Teamed up with Giannis Antetokounmpo, James could lead SQSQ to their first title.  Last year’s IR stashes of Jusuf Nurkic (2020 RD4.5) and John Wall (2020 RD5.12) were retained as keepers, and SQSQ will have Tobias Harris and Lonzo Ball around as well. Good bye Blake Griffin and Dejounte Murray!

The 2020 paper title winning version of SQSQ featured a fourth-ranked offense and defense, and were only held back in overall ODE by a low rank in efficiency, which can be attributed to essentially punting FT%. Adding James will only make that build even stronger, and likely shoot SQSQ into a top-three rating on both offense and defense.

Some eyebrows were raised on draft day when SQSQ took an early swing on DeMarcus Cousins (RD1.16), hoping for a return to semi-form from Boogie. With their back-to-back snake pick, SQSQ then invested in new Hawk Bogdan Bogdanovich, who has been slow to start the season. However an in-draft trade with KSKT — our first father-son trade in history! — brought in Donte DiVincenzo, who has been a nice surprise early. The other draftee of note was rookie Patrick Williams (RD4.1), who could have been a steal for SQSQ.

Regardless, after a three-year period featuring a 20-36-3 combined record, SQSQ has increased their total each of the last five seasons and now are one of Slam’s title favorites. LeBron and Giannis, the new power couple?!

10 ABCX Another Bad Creation (8-9-2, 4-16)

After a terrible 2019, ABCX missed the playoffs back-to-back for the first time in franchise history last season despite improving from four wins to eight in 2020. Their keeper core last year was full of distressed assets and a ton of aging players. Then along came 2020 RD1.2 Ja Morant, who revitalized the ABCX fan base with his electric play. The reigning Rookie of the Year will have to pull this franchise back into the championship picture.

Leaning heavily on vets, ABCX’s keeper core features the tenth year of LaMarcus Aldridge with the franchise, and then Russell Westbrook, TJ Warren, Evan Fournier, and Derrick Rose. You’ll notice that’s not a lot of health there, so getting assigned the first overall pick in the 2021 draft was huge. While there may have been some debate over who would go first in the NBA draft, ABCX’s decision was easy: the first selection in 2021 for Slam would be LaMelo Ball, who projects to have at least have a big impact in AST, 3PT, and STL.

We have to commend the all veteran draft pulled off by ABCX as they set their sights on a playoff spot this year. After Ball, it was Al Horford, Lou Williams, Aron Baynes, Joe Ingles, and Nemanja Bjelica. Not a single one of those guys is on the right side of thirty. But no matter, ABCX has Morant and Ball now, and a brighter future awaits even if the locker room is going to be ten old guys and the possible past two Rookie of the Years?

11 BUFF Buffy (5-14, 8-11-1)

Another team that loves its vets, BUFF is mired in a long slump that has seen the franchise ping pong back and forth from a stretch of success and semi-respectability from 2013-16, to downright awful for most of the last four years. 2020’s five-win season was the third-worst regular season record in the league and hopes for a quick turnaround were semi-dashed with Klay Thompson headed for another season-long stint on IR.

The good news is that Domantas Sabonis and Brandon Ingram both emerged as All-Stars for BUFF, giving them four All-Stars along with Ben Simmons. Then GM Roger moved a future RD3 pre-draft for Dennis Schroder, hoping for German magic in Lakerland, and that makes for a promising keeper core moving forward, with Spencer Dinwiddie as the sixth keeper.

Finishing as the third worst team in SlamNation in 2020 rewarded BUFF with the 2021 RD1.6 pick, which was used to select the NBA’s top rookie pick, Anthony Edwards. There’s hope Edwards will be an explosive scoring option quickly, as there will be plenty of shots to go around in Buffy-land with Thompson and Dinwiddie out for the season.

The rest of BUFF’s draft was made up of mid tier veterans like Blake Griffin, Steven Adams, Kyle Kuzma, Joe Harris, and Cedi Osman. It looks like Roger is going for a competitive year, and we’re glad to see BUFF working to enter the conversation again.

12 SOUR Sour Snails (4-15, 14-5-1)

Five time champs SOUR suffered their worst season ever, dipping to a 0.211 win rate, but still are technically the defending champs due to the aborted 2020 season. With Kevin Durant and Steph Curry out most of last year, SOUR went into a full tank job and ended up tied for the worst record in the league.

The 2020 additions of Steven Adams, Landry Shamet, and rookies Tyler Herro (although released a tad too early) and PJ Washington were handy, but not enough to offset Snails’ loss of their two uber-stars. Coming into 2021, Snails has the healthy returns of Durant and Curry, plus Zach LaVine and Pascal Siakam on-board. New to the keeper core will be Washington, who showed some flashes last season, and then Derrick White, who has some promise as well. Will this be enough for an extended title defense?

Laker fanboy Trieu was quick to jump on LeBron’s preseason darling, Talen Horton-Tucker, with his 2021 RD1.7 selection (the first non-rookie selected), which meant SOUR passed on a plethora of potentially useful veterans such as Victor Oladipo and Thomas Bryant. We’ll see how that THT selection works out.

SOUR also brought in a bunch of bigs for their 2021 draft, with Serge Ibaka, Richuan Holmes, DeAndre Jordan, and Zach Collins being signed up. Delon Wright (3.9) and Harrison Barnes (5.2) rounded out the new assets, and it looks SOUR should have plenty for a proper title defense. Will they have a sixth title by the end of this season?

13 SBUK So Buckets (8-10-1, 10-9-1)

After two straight post-season appearances in 2017-18, SBUK has ended up on the outside looking in recently, despite a roster that continues to look amazing on paper. Joel Embiid, Rudy Gobert, Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, and CJ McCollum have been a well-balanced core for years, but Buckets haven’t been able to hit the playoffs in two campaigns. Maybe injuries played a role -- and some coaching issues -- as Embiid and Irving are always IR risks, but there’s too much talent here to be a non-playoff team.

SBUK did technically win the Toilet Bowl in 2019, ending up with 2020 RD1.3 RJ Barrett — now a keeper even after an up-and-down rookie season — but they should be better no? This season, SBUK again selected third overall, taking 2021 RD1.3 Killian Hayes. Prior to the draft, GM Josh also traded DeRozan for Jonathan Isaac, who is shelved for the season. With Embiid, Gobert, and Isaac, defense should continue to be SBUK’s strength for years to come.

With such a solid core, GM Josh went fishing for more upside with their draft. Marvin Bagley, Miles Bridges, Terry Rozier, Cam Reddish, and Troy Brown Jr. are all young and with unexplored potential. If even one or two hit, they should give SBUK more pieces to get out of their playoff drought. Let’s gooooo!

14 SPDE Spade (14-4-1, 12-7-1)

Finishing as one of the hottest teams down the stretch in 2020, SPDE was in a great position to capture a title last year. Alas, COVID! Still, after dipping to two wins in 2018, Spade is clearly back on top and ready to contend for a title.

Devin Booker has cemented himself as an All-Star, and Kawhi Leonard is still Kawhi seventy-five percent of the time. Danilo Gallinari, Eric Bledsoe, and Kevin Love take turns being great and hurt as usual, and we're very excited by new keeper Tyler Herro, who had a breakout playoffs after an intriguing rookie season. He takes over for long-time SPDE keeper Al Horford and pairs with Booker to give Randall a great young backcourt.

Sensing that their first title could be around the corner, SPDE took the high risk high reward pick of Victor Oladipo at RD1.9, hoping for a true bounceback campaign from him. RD2.2 Hassan Whiteside should still put in huge numbers, despite being the definition of “trash stats.” SPDE also added some wing shooters in Gary Trent Jr., JJ Redick, and Will Barton for depth, alongside last round, long-time SPDE favorite Paul Millsap to finish up their draft. Will 2021 finally be the year Spade takes the crown?

15 ILCN IL Conceived (9-10, 7-13)

It’s been a slow and steady rise for ILCN since coming into SlamNation three years ago. After drafting wisely and investing in youth, ILCN reached their first playoff berth last season — albeit still with a sub-0.500 record.

With Luka Doncic cementing his future MVP status, and Donovan Mitchell proving his playoff bonafides, ILCN has their cornerstones for the future, even if they are still waiting on the oft-injured Jaren Jackson Jr. to stay on the court. New keepers will include 2020 RD1.4 Darius Garland and reclamation project Markelle Fultz. GM Frank shipped out Montrezl Harrell and Dennis Schroder pre-draft for picks and will have as their sixth keeper Draymond Green, who is slated for more high-end glue-guy duty.

While still toeing the line between contender aspirations and building out their roster, ILCN again turned their attention to high upside choices for their draft, nabbing Wendell Carter Jr., Jerami Grant, and Malik Beasley in the first three rounds. If either Grant or Beasley can shine in their new NBA homes, they should be great additions to the team. To wrap up their draft, ILCN took shots on rookie Aleksej Pokusevski and sophomore Kevin Porter Jr., who has had some legal issues, to say the least. We’re intrigued by any team helmed by Doncic and Mitchell, and we’re excited to see if ILCN can move up a level yet again.

16 SCRM Screamin Eagles (4-15, 6-14)

As one of our three new owners, we’re thrilled to have SCRM joining SlamNation, as Reddit stranger but already new friend Jordan is a total mystery to us! Having already shaken up the dispersal draft with a big trade, we can see Jordan’s new blood adding a lot to our league.

Taking over for one of the worst franchises Slam has ever had should leave lots of upside for SCRM to make their mark. They’ll have Anthony Davis to lead the way, aka the arguable best player in fantasy. He’ll be flanked by Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and OG Anunoby, alongside Dejounte Murray, Davis Bertans, and Mitchell Robinson. While we see a distinct lack of overall scoring, that doesn’t mean SCRM won’t be competitive out of the gate.

Already, SCRM can boast a great Mr. Irrelevant pick in 2021 RD6.16 Immanuel Quickley, who can light it up from all over the court. Quickley has Onyeka Okongwu (1.8) and Devin Vassell (4.16) as fellow rookies and it looks like Jordan addressed his long range shooting with Norman Powell and Duncan Robinson in the draft. Heck, Kyle Anderson seems to have added a new three-pointer during the brief off-season as well!

On top of that, Jordan may soon be a Top Shot millionaire, so he should be able to fund a new Screamin Eagles virtual stadium to house his eventual trophies!

2021 Pre-Season: Russell

A little late but sort of on time, part one of our 2021 preseason preview. These were done in order of our new-ish franchise ID numbers, and not ordered by last year’s finish or projected finish. The NBA is back! [ 2020 Russell | Recap | 2020 Chamberlain | Recap ]

TeamID - Abbrev - Name (2020 Record, 2019 Record)

1 FJUB Fat Jubas (12-7, 12-8)

Since being shifted over to Russell Conference two years ago, FJUB has racked up a 24-15 cumulative record, continuing their streak of six double-digit regular season wins and playoff appearances. They finished as the sixth Power Ranked team last season, and could’ve been a dark horse title contender. There’s no question FJUB’s a winning team, but some doubts remain as to their true contender status.

Returning a core of Chris Paul, Jrue Holiday, Myles Turner, Robert Covington, and Jonas Valanciunas, FJUB finished last season as the best defensive team in Slam by ODE rating. Last year’s RD3.10 pick, Fred VanVleet elevated his game and made the keeper roster — replacing Gary Harris — and should continue to elevate FJUB’s offensive punch this season. Can the twenty-six year old become the new face of FJUB? He may have to, as VanVleet seems like the heir apparent to Paul in the backcourt.

Eric’s 2021 draft was a grab bag, with Brook Lopez (RD1.13) coming in to provide his usual Splash Mountain stats, and then defensive upside selection Darius Bagley (2.6) right afterwards. Elfrid Payton, Maxi Kleber, Cam Johnson, and Jeff Teague filled out the rest of the draft roster — although Kleber and Teague have already been replaced by Nicolas Batum ($2 FAAB) and Tyus Jones ($2). All in all, we know FJUB can win regular season games, but will they truly enter the championship conversation this season?

2 CHMK Chunky Monkeys (14-4-1, 14-5-1)

Back-to-back fourteen win seasons have actually been a bit of a step back for CHMK, as they’re used to leading the league in regular season wins. However, CHMK only finished third in Power Ranking in both 2019 and 2020, and with a keeper core that’s aging — yet still uber productive — changes were afoot this offseason.

After five years with the Monkeys, LeBron James is out the door after delivering a single championship. Thanks for the memories King, but weren't more rings expected? Also following King James toward the exit is Otto Porter, having served four years in Chunky-ville. Replacing them is new trade acquisition Bam Adebayo and 2020 RD1.15 Marcus Smart. That leaves James Harden, Kyle Lowry, and Clint Capela as the only remaining pieces from CHMK’s 2018 title team. Completing the semi-new core is Collin Sexton, who had a promising sophomore year and could hit a third year power spike if things go well.

After finishing 2020 as the top ranked offensive team — and sporting a top five defense as well — we’re curious how the loss of LeBron will affect things for CHMK on the floor, especially since they leaned heavily into defense for their 2021 draft, taking Thomas Bryant (1.10) and Mikal Bridges (2.3) as their first two selections and then also Larry Nance Jr. and Jakob Poeltl in following rounds. The only offense they brought in was Tim Hardaway Jr. (4.14) and Shake Milton (5.14), but both have already been cut -- along with Poeltl too.

GM Evan has been quick on the trigger button already, adding Keldon Johnson ($11), Luguentz Dort ($2), and Robert Williams III ($3) to flesh out their early season roster. While we like most of these moves, we’re not sure who’s going to replace LeBron’s steadying hand, and a top finish in offensive ODE would seem near miraculous. Having said that, our new secret predictions formula has CHMK projected as a top two team this year, so all is well in Monkeyland!

3 FUNK Funk Coaltion (10-8-1, 13-7)

After years of ineptitude, FUNK has now strung together three straight 0.500+ seasons and are slowly trodding up championship mountain. Mostly injured 2020 seasons from Karl-Anthony Towns and Jonathan Isaac left FUNK squeaking into the no-playoffs last season as the seventh Power Ranked team, but the emergence of Jayson Tatum and the continued sophomore success of Trae Young still pushed FUNK to a top five offensive ODE finish.

Feeling like a title run was possible, GM Jon exchanged the twenty-three year old Isaac — once again out of the year — for thirty-one year old DeMar DeRozan and retained new thirty million dollar man Gordon Hayward as a keeper over younger possibilities. With five NBA top scoring options on-board, FUNK should be able to challenge for the scoring title and the hope is that Brandon Clarke — acquired last year via trade — can continue his efficient ways during his second season.

FUNK’s new win-now attitude produced Ricky Rubio (1.14) as backup point guard, along with an assortment of big men — Nerlens Noel (2.7), Daniel Theis, Ivica Zubac — and two sharpshooters in Seth Curry and Terrence Ross to flesh out the roster. Barring more injuries to KAT, it looks like FUNK has the talent to compete for a ring but you never know in this crazy league, right?

4 FOBS Fob Stars (12-7, 11-8-1)

Another team that has been steadily rising over the past few years, FOBS now have five consecutive seasons of playoff worthy campaigns under their belt. Last year’s twelve-win season was FOBS’ franchise best, allowing them to finish a lofty fifth in Power Ranking. 

After receiving mockery by this very publication for keeping DeAndre Jordan and Jordan Clarkson as keepers last offseason, FOBS proved the critics wrong through their on-court performance. Now FOBS have gotten both better and younger, jettisoning Jordan, Clarkson, and Ricky Rubio from their core for last year’s top two draft selections — Rui Hacihmura (2020 RD1.12) and Jarrett Allen (2020 RD2.2). Then they added new Laker/traitor Montrezl Harrell pre-draft for a 2021 RD3 selection.

With Damian Lillard as the franchise cornerstone and John Collins exploding last season, FOBS used their league leading efficiency ODE to balance out a strong offense, taking out weaker opponents left and right. It looks like this year’s two rookies, Obi Toppin (1.12) and Precious Achiuwa (6.5), could both be valuable pieces moving forward, and GM Jimmy also drafted old men Bojan Bogdanovic and Goran Dragic for veteran offense. Dillon Brooks and De’Andre Hunter are on-board as well for some defensive backbone.

On paper this is the best team in FOBS history and they’re a few breaks away from elevating themselves to championship level behind Lillard. It’s Fob Time baby!

5 TRUO Truo Thien (5-13-1, 9-11)

It’s fair to say that TRUO has hit rock bottom. After nine seasons in a row of 0.500+ ball — and seven postseason appearances — TRUO won only fourteen games in the past two years and finished 2020 in the standings cellar, slugging it out with the non-active owners and a decimated defending champion Sour Snails team. All that landed TRUO at a lowly Power Ranking of thirteenth, after their franchise worst five wins. The good news is that TRUO always has its greatest asset to lean back on: GM Thien!

Jimmy Butler, Lauri Markkanen, Andrew Wiggins, Kemba Walker, and Julius Randle return, along with pre-draft acquisition Kelly Oubre Jr., in exchange for a 2021 RD3 — thus ousting the disappointing Mike Conley from TRUO’s keepers. While this core doesn’t immediately shine as TRUO’s most talented, Thien is on the job and is sure to unearth some gems throughout the season.

For their draft, TRUO scooped up multi-dimensional rookie Deni Avdija (1.5), the always infuriating Aaron Gordon (2.13), and then another rookie, Isaac Okoro (4.13). Jordan Clarkson and Patty Mills were brought in as offensive spark plugs but could soon be churned out, as Thien loves to mine the free agent list. Already in this young season, TRUO has gone through the likes of Pat Beverley, Dwight Powell, Dwight Howard, Bismack Biyombo, Luke Kennard, TJ McConnell, George Hill, Dario Saric, Monte Morris, Tim Hardaway Jr., Desmond Bane, and Monte Morris in new weeks of action.

While TRUO is certainly in a slight rebuild phase, they are most assuredly only temporarily down and always working overtime to grind out the wins. Here’s to seeing TRUO back on the winning side of the ledger!

6 SWMP Swamp Dragons (14-5, 15-3-2)

After finishing the 2020 regular season with the best combined ODE rating — 5/5/2 — it was quite possible that SWMP were headed toward their first Slam title. They were Finals participants the year before, and have won two Toilet Bowls and been to three Finals altogether, but have yet to win the big one. Still, they are always knocking on the championship door and now the rich get richer, as intriguing big man Christian Wood was added to SWMP's keeper core after being scooped off the free agent list last season — shades of GM Eddie acquiring Nikola Jokic as a free agent back in 2015.

As usual, SWMP had a keeper numbers crunch but after moving Kelly Oubre Jr. for a draft pick to TRUO — ironically, taking Mike Conley (3.4) with the selection. Conley was TRUO’s dumped keeper — SWMP has the frightening core of Paul George, Jokic, D’Angelo Russell, Khris Middleton, and Wood to scare the rest of the league. Unbelievably, SWMP may have found another frontcourt diamond in the rough in Chris Boucher (3.13), which is just gross.

To continue their championship chase, SWMP also added Devonte Graham (1.11), Josh Richardson (2.4), Derrick Jones Jr., Bobby Portis, and Sekou Doumboya in their draft. Our analysts have SWMP rated as the best team in the league this year, so until someone dethrones them, we all bow down and wait to see who can take them on?

7 MELO Melo My Mind (8-10-1, 5-15)

Taking over for Snack Bears, new owner Jack had the third pick in the recent dispersal draft and they went with the double barrel snake picks of Bradley Beal and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. Before the ink had dried on his contract however, Gilgeouos-Alexander was out the door via our first ever in-dispersal trade — coming in exchange for De’Aaron Fox and Jaylen Brown. That left the final new MELO keeper core of Beal, Fox, Brown, Nikola Vucevic, Andre Drummond, and Buddy Hield.

Fun note: Fox, Beal, Vucevic were all former SNAC keepers from last season, and Brown was a SNAC draft pick from 2018 (RD1.4) and a re-dispersal pick from 2019. New MELO is four-sixths of old SNAC! Overall that’s a pretty solid looking core and our prognosticators have MELO projected as the fifth best team already, which would be a higher finish than their previous SNAC owner had managed to achieve.

Oh yeah, and let’s not forget that MELO inherited the second overall pick in the 2021 draft as well, which they used to take Warriors rookie James Wiseman (1.2). Jack followed that up with another promising rookie in Cole Anthony (4.10), as well as old hands Jae Crowder, Marc Gasol, Carmelo Anthony, and Derrick Favors for complementary pieces. Despite his newness to fantasy basketball, it looks like Jack could be poised for a pretty successful first season in Slam!

8 KSKT Krispy Kreme Team (5-12-2, 3-17)

The old history of CMTO Cameltoe was not glorious, as they were unable to acquire a winning season during their four year stay in Slam. However, with a new ownership group coming in, KSKT is looking to separate themselves from the past and begin their own legacy of success.

Starting off with second overall dispersal selection Zion Williamson will surely energize the new donut laden fan base, and give KSKT a launchpad to get into playoff contention. Unafraid of injury risks, GM Matt took Williamson, Kristaps Porzingis, and Michael Porter Jr. in succession, giving them an incredibly high ceiling but also a need for a great medical staff. In fact, this whole KSKT roster could use some healing energy. Sophomore Coby White was the only player out of the keeper core who didn’t miss any games last season, as Malcolm Brogdon and Caris LeVert don’t have the healthiest track record either.

Fun fact: Michael Porter Jr. is the lone keeper carryover from the old CMTO regime.

For his first draft, it looks like Matt already acquired a gem, as Tyrese Haliburton (1.4) is being touted early season as a likely Rookie of the Year candidate. Donte DiVincenzo (2.12) was KSKT’s second ever draft pick but he was moved out quickly mid-draft — to dad Squirtle Squad — in exchange for Mason Plumlee (3.16) and a 2020 RD5.15 (Tristan Thompson).

Additional draft picks Otto Porter Jr., Eric Gordon, Kendrick Nunn, and Kevin Huerter filled out the rest of KSKT’s roster, but Matt has already shown that he’s going to be active on the waiver wire, snatching up Dorian Finney-Smith, Naz Reid, Aaron Holiday, and Maxi Kleber — and then subsequently cutting Nunn, Thompson, Finney-Smith, and Reid.

We have no idea if Zion and Porzingis can stay healthy for most of the season but KSKT already has the look of an up-and-comer, just like our youngest owner himself!

Keepers: 2021

Pre-Draft Trades 2021

We had eight pre-draft trades this season, highlighted by our biggest, #114 between Chunky Monkeys and Squirtle Squad. Our current regular seasons champs are looking to push all-in and win their first title, moving for LeBron James  at the cost of rising star Bam Adebayo.

This marks the third time King James has been traded and so far he’s already brought championships to two Slam franchises  — Sour Snails and Chunky Monkeys. Even at the ripe old age of thirty-six years, James can be the difference maker for a team, especially when he’s now teamed up with back-to-back NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo.

For Monkeys, this likely signals the start of a slow rebuild, as they have been actively looking to shop their veterans and some ill-fitting parts of their perennial contender. Or is this just a savvy move by Evan to get younger and win at the same time?!

There were some other trades of note as well. Funk Coalition also decide to exchange future for present, sending the injured Jonathan Isaac off to So Buckets for DeMar DeRozan. Note: This was SBUK's third trade ever in almost a decade in Slam. While both FUNK and SBUK have strong cases for contender status, this swap gives FUNK a shorter window to win-now, and gives the stacked SBUK roster another defensive piece for a defensive core that already features Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert.

Players moved for picks: Kelly Oubre Jr. for a 2021 RD3, Montrezl Harrell for 2022 RD3, Dennis Schroder for a 2021 RD4/5 pick swap, and then the first ever in-dispersal trade which exchanged De’Aaron Fox and Jaylen Brown for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and OG Anunoby.

And then to wrap up, the father-son duo of SQSQ and KSKT teamed up to exchange KSKT’s 2021 RD2.12 Donte DiVincenzo for SQSQ’s RD3.16 Mason Plumlee and a RD5.16, which resulted in Tristan Thompson.

Great job guys with all the pre-draft moving and shaking!

Draft Order 2021

Well, the global pandemic messed up our 2020 fantasy playoffs so the fairest thing to do was just install RD1 draft slots for 2021 in reverse power ranking order. That's right, no Toilet Bowl, no champion, nothing!

So RD1 was just done according to the draft slot rule instituted two years ago: Draft Slots in RD1, with SQSQ and SPDE installed as the presumptive finals contestants. Then RD2-6 was just slotted in Power Ranking order #1-16, with snaking from RD3 and on. [ New Post-Season 2.0 | Power Ranking 2020 | Draft 2021 Sheet ]

2021 DRAFT SLOT RD1

1. ABCX (8-9-2)
2. MELO (8-10-1)
3. SBUK (8-10-1)
4. KSKT (5-12-2)
5. TRUO (5-13-1)
6. BUFF (5-14)
7. SOUR (4-15)
8. SCRM (4-15)
9. SPDE (14-4-1)
10. CHMK (14-4-1)
11. SWMP (14-5)
12. FOBS (12-7)
13. FJUB (12-7)
14. FUNK (10-8-1)
15. ILCN (9-10)
16. SQSQ (14-3-2)

2021 DRAFT ORDER RD2-6

1. SQSQ (14-3-2)
2. SPDE (14-4-1)
3. CHMK (14-4-1)
4. SWMP (14-5)
5. FOBS (12-7)
6. FJUB (12-7)
7. FUNK (10-8-1)
8. ILCN (9-10)
9. ABCX (8-9-2)
10. MELO (8-10-1)
11. SBUK (8-10-1)
12. KSKT (5-12-2)
13. TRUO (5-13-1)
14. BUFF (5-14)
15. SOUR (4-15)
16. SCRM (4-15)

Brand New: Three Owners!

With the upcoming 2021 season, we’re shepherding (another) three owners into Slam Nation history and bringing in a trio of new blood. And by “blood,” this time we mean actual family members…but more on that later.

First off, we say goodbye to Snack Bears, Team Cameltoe, and Hilt the Stilt. Thank you for your years with us Brandon, Felipe, and Dave. We wish you good luck in your retirement. For posterity’s sake, here are their team records over their years with us.

• Snack Bears: 33-64-1, 0.340. Five seasons, one playoff appearance, one Toilet Bowl finals.
• Team Cameltoe: 20-56-3, 0.263. Four seasons.
• Hilt the Stilt: 10-29, 0.256. Two seasons.

Unfortunately, Cameltoe and Hilt are the holders of the title for worst two regular season records (by individual owner) in Slam history, and were also some of our most inactive management teams, according to our Owner Rankings. But that’s why we’re so excited for our new batch of owners! Let’s welcome Jordan, Matt, and Jack! We’ll go into their bios below but suffice to say, this rookie class is very exciting indeed.

SCRM Screaming Eagles (Jordan)

A total stranger to Slam, I found Jordan through the magic of the Internet — Reddit message board? — and it’s been first love ever since. A Raptors fan with relatively little experience in fantasy basketball — he just started playing last season — Jordan has already proven his chops with savvy dispersal picks and team building abilities. As our first resident Canadian, Jordan is bringing huge enthusiasm into the league and we’re thrilled to have him!

Before an unfortunate physical accident a few years back, Jordan was big into tennis, squash, and cycling competitively, but since then has been working on his recovery while leading a more sedentary lifestyle. And it seems like playing fantasy basketball will be a part of that, hurray!

KSKT Krispy Kreme Team (Matt)

Our first generational fantasy owner — across any league — Matt is Brian’s teenage son. I believe Matt has been co-running Squirtle Squad for a few seasons now and with great power now comes great responsibility: his own franchise. An Eagles and Sixers fan, Matt currently plays both basketball and tennis for his high school. A smooth shooting all-around guard, we’re curious how Matt’s IRL game would stack up to his dad’s — who was ranked number six overall of Slam owners in real basketball, by our scouts from 2011. Until we get that Slam Nation basketball tournament going, we’ll have to wait and see if we can get a son versus father fantasy title showdown instead, as KSKT could soon rule the Russell Conference while SQSQ are the defending Chamberlain Conference champs.

MELO Melo My Mind (Jack)

Our last new owner, Jack is actually a Jonathan, but we’re substituting in a nickname because two Jons is just too difficult to track for record keeping. [Um yeah, that’s the story we’re going with…] Jack is the second family relation to join this offseason, as he is Trieu’s brother-in-law and also living in Phoenix. That means not only do we have the prospect of future Brother, Father/Son Bowls, but also a Brother-in-Law Bowl as well! And heck, MELO could even eventually face off with TRUO Thien in a Russell Conference finals before taking on SOUR Trieu in a finals matchup. Strangely, for a Lakers fan, Jack’s favorite current player is Jayson Tatum…suspicious!

Dispersal Draft Results

It was a straight up #1-3 snake draft for dispersal this season, with the big prize being Anthony Davis. Jordan won first dispersal slot pick (taking over for HSTL), followed by Matt (taking CMTO) and then Jack (taking over SNAC). We’ll look at the individual teams more carefully in our season preview but in a wild thrill, we had our first in-dispersal trade — after five dispersal drafts all-time!

In trade ID#119, SCRM Jordan and MELO Jack exchanged RD2.3 De’Aaron Fox and RD3.1 Jaylen Brown for RD2.1 Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and RD6.1, which was eventually used by SCRM to select OG Anunoby.

Overall we had eleven players taken from the leftover rosters of our three exiting teams, while seven were free agent non-keepers.

Season Recap: Chamberlain Conference

So yeah, the 2020 season is over, even if the NBA season comes back for an abbreviated session, it's safe to say our fantasy year is done. So let's take a look at our teams! [ Midseason: Top Eight | Bottom Eight ]

#1 SQSQ Squirtle Squad (14-3-2)
After coming out of three years of rebuilding, Squirtle re-emerged from a three year slumber last season to capture a fifth seed in the playoffs as Giannis Antetokounmpo bulldozed his way to his first NBA MVP. With a possible back-to-back MVP coming his way, Giannis led the way during this 2020 campaign and got Squirtles to the very top, giving SQSQ their second-best season of all time — their first was a 10-2 record in a lockout shortened 2012. After making four postseason appearances in their first six seasons, Squirtle had hit a lull but has crept up from three wins, to eight, to nine, to twelve, to fourteen.

With those fourteen wins -- tied with three other teams this season — SQSQ had two juicy ties to take the regular season crown for the second time in their eleven long history — and captured their third division/conference crown as well. And all this happened with John Wall and Jusuf Nurkic out for the season, and basically Blake Griffin as well.

It’ll be interesting to see if GM Brian decides to go with a younger keeper core or to work the veterans back in. The emergence of Bam Adebayo as a fantasy monster this year gives SQSQ two massive cornerstones and it looks like the future backcourt could be set as well, with free agent sensation Devonte’ Graham and 2018 RD1.2 Lonzo Ball firing it up from outside and finding his stride in New Orleans.

Squirtles were the odds on favorite for the title this year, so it’s sad to say that we may not get to see them finish out and potentially earn their first SlamNation title. Still, Giannis and Bam are both quite young so there will be more contention ahead. Congrats Squirtles on a fantastic year and a paper title!

#2 SPDE Spade (14-4-1)
Whew, SPDE really handled business over the second half of the season as they won eight of their last games heading into the postseason. (Oh wait, what postseason?!) Randall had a shot at capturing his first regular season crown but instead will have to settle for garnering a power ranking of two for the year.

This was actually mostly a dream season for SPDE, as their health remained steady and they even managed to put up the second-most Games Played in the league at 498 GP. The only person to miss significant games was Derrick Favors early on, plus a splash of Kevin Love, but everyone else on the team stayed quite healthy. The only question is how this veteran laden team could pull off this trick again. Having only dipped below twelve wins once in their seven year Slam history, SPDE has no problem getting into the playoffs, but this year might have been one of their most healthy iterations. Too bad, so sad.

And while Kawhi Leonard is squarely in his prime, his regular seasons will always be load managed, and the only under twenty-five year old cornerstone on this squad is Devin Booker. It’s likely we’ll see at least Al Horford drop out of the keeper rotation, but will someone like Favors, O.G. Anunoby, Norman Powell, or rookie Tyler Herro make the cut instead?

SPDE ended the season with ODE splits of 2/3/5, making them analytically the second-best team heading into the almost playoffs. Would that have translated into their first ring? I guess we’ll never find out!

#8 ILCN IL Conceived (9-10)
Luka magic! Well, okay, it was magical for the first half of the season. After starting off 7-4, ILCN petered out to just 2-6 the rest of the way as Doncic, Jaren Jackson Jr., Draymond Green, and a whole host of others all hit injury issues. There was all still enough on this team to take IL Conceived to a playoff appearance — the first in their three year history — but they still haven’t broken 0.500+ yet. It's likely they would have preferred a seat in the Toilet Bowl but upward progress is great and the super young core here is still drool worthy.

Luka's faster than expected ascent into the MVP conversation has this team on a quicker trajectory than anticipated, and it’s just a matter of putting the right pieces around the core of Doncic, JJJ, and Donovan Mitchell. More drafts like this season’s would be a huge boon. Possible NBA Sixth Man of the Year Dennis Schroder was a wonderful get at RD3.12, but the real gem may have been the post-draft trade for Markelle Fultz — exchanged mid-draft for Reggie Jackson. Fultz has resurrected his career and may even contend with RD1.4 Darius Garland for a keeper slot. Who would have thunk!

Frank won 2020 Coach for the Year for his league leading 502 GP, and that’ll be a nice first trophy on his mantle. We’ll see what this team can do next season, but with the core three averaging twenty-one years old, ILCN can look forward to taking another step up the contention ladder next season.

#9 ABCX Another Bad Creation (8-9-2)
After finishing with the second-to-last worst record in the league last year, ABCX was looking for a bounce back season and they got it. While they finished a tiebreaker out of the postseason, the acquisition of 2020 RD1.2 Ja Morant was enough to reenergize this franchise, who has seven playoff appearances in their decade plus in Slam.

ABCX finished the year with a 3-2-1 record, with two of those wins coming against excellent competition — WK14 versus SWMP and WK15 versus FJUB. A lot of that probably had to do with the unleashing of Russell Westbrook, and the super athletic trio of Westbrook, Morant, and Derrick Rose has to be some sort of super point guard slam dunk team.

An injection of youth was exactly what Oliver needed, as his 2020 draft, aside from Morant, was heavy on veterans. And now the virus shortened season means LaMarcus Aldridge gets one year older, as does Westbrook. With an actual Toilet Bowl not happening, it’s likely ABCX could get another very high draft pick coming their way. That’s good news as their 2020 draft didn’t yield much except Morant. (Could free agent pickup Daniel Theis supplant Enes Kanter in the keeper lineup? Seems likely right?) We’d love to see ABCX back in the playoff picture, and it looks like they’re headed that direction. Go Ja!

#11 SBUK So Buckets (8-10-1)
After a disastrous 2019 campaign where this talent laden roster went 10-9-1 — yes “disastrous” is relative, we know they won the 2019 Toilet Bowl — there were hopes that SBUK would return to contention status. Instead they slipped backwards, even after course correcting and getting their Games Played to league average. What gives?

After six straight wins to begin the season, SBUK slid back to the pack with two losing streaks of five games each, and a 0-5-1 whimper to end the year — four of those losses were against future playoff teams and the fifth was versus a surging Snack Bears.

Their 11/12/4 ODE splits over the past month were quite different from their season long 13/7/6, and it’s hard to pinpoint the problem. Of course, having Joel Embiid and Kyrie Irving end the year injured, and Gobert shutting down the entire NBA didn't help, but SBUK was all over the place for most of the season.

On paper, this is still a very strong team though, as evidenced by a roster featuring Irving, the twin towers, and filled in with CJ McCollum, DeMar DeRozan, and some combination of Thomas Bryant (also injured most of the season) and Serge Ibaka. The big question is how good 2020 RD1.3 RJ Barrett will become. The rookie put up some of the worst shooting in history with 40.2 FG% and 61.4 FT%, but will get plenty of minutes on a Knicks franchise without much else. After two straight years out of the playoffs, SBUK fans are clamoring for better times since they are used to a winning tradition. Let’s see if Josh can give it to them!

#14 BUFF Buffy (5-14)
As for winning traditions, BUFF racked up two division titles in their first four Slam seasons — 2011 and 2013 — but haven’t found much success since then, averaging a mere 6.4 wins during the past seven campaigns, highlighted by a 0.500 season five years ago. After last year’s promising 8-11-1 year, BUFF looked to be trending up but it’s another step backward for them this past season.

However, dig underneath those very average 10/9/10 season long ODE and we have some gold underneath. The 2-11 start transitioned to a 3-3 finish and it’s impossible to ignore how much GM Roger has upgraded this roster. After trading for Ben Simmons pre-draft, BUFF also stepped into All-Star campaigns for first timers Brandon Ingram and Domantas Sabonis, and found Kendrick Nunn on the free agent pile.

While 2020 rookies De’Andre Hunter (RD1.5) and Cam Reddish (RD4.11) had some hefty struggles this year, they both picked up their games as the year went along. Will both be keepers? Add in a mid-season trade of Malcolm Brogdon for Spencer Dinwiddie and BUFF went from zero All Stars last season to three this year! With Klay Thompson returning, BUFF should be an offensive powerhouse next season, and things are looking up for them after a long time out of the spotlight.

#15 SOUR Sour Snails (4-15)
Welp, we were hoping to celebrate the end of a dynasty for SOUR this season, as they were sinking to the bottom after four titles in five years, but this aborted postseason means they’ll be the returning champs once again. Ugh, how lucky can one team be?!

With Steph Curry joining Kevin Durant on the injured list for most of the season, SOUR’s repeat title hopes were sunk from the start, but it looks like they’ll be back to defend their title with a fully healthy roster. The last time SOUR got only four wins — in an aborted twelve game season — they came away with 2013 RD1.2 rookie Damian Lillard as the Toilet Bowl runner-up. So maybe we should be lucky there’s no Toilet Bowl this season?

SOUR racked up six lineup violations this season and was bottom three in Games Played, but those numbers don’t tell us much of anything as this was a lost year for Trieu. They’ll return two former MVPs, Pascal Siakam, Zach LaVine, and some combination of Mitchell Robinson, pre-draft acquisition Terry Rozier, and 2020 RD1.13 Steven Adams or 2020 RD4.8 rookie PJ Washington. We have no doubts SOUR will be back in the championship mix next year and I guess we’ll just have to settle for an off year that turned into a really off year for the defending champs!

#16 HSTL Hilt the Stilt (4-15)
It’s been tough sledding for Dave his first two years in Slam. They’ve gone 6-14 and 4-15, with bottom of the rankings in Games Played and lineup violations — this year they had a second-“best” seven violations. With an eight game losing streak and a 1-10 record to end the season, it’s hard to say where HSTL is heading.

The thing is, we still like this team! After a promising dispersal draft, HSTL has been beset by bad luck. Sophomore Wendell Carter has only played forty-plus games each of his two years, franchise cornerstone Victor Oladipo finally made his return to the court mid-season, and Andre Drummond achieved his dream of going to suck up bricks in Cleveland.

However, there were still some bright spots this year, which could point to some shot at respectability for HSTL moving forward. 2020 RD1.7 rookie Coby White emerged as an explosive, if erratic, gunner; 2019 RD2.6 sophomore Mikal Bridges proven his defensive chops once again; and Jaylen Brown made a leap (he was acquired along with Carter for Josh Richardson).

However, for a team with a glaring hole at point guard — we don’t think White is the answer, at least for AST — not keeping Fred VanVleet and trading away Terry Rozier before this year’s draft could come back to haunt them. We’d like to see some improvement in GP and moves — HSTL tied for the league low with four total — for this franchise to see if they can scrape into mediocrity at least.

Season Recap: Russell Conference

We're throwing in the towel on 2020... It's sad but true. Let's take a look at how each team did in this aborted NBA season. [ Midseason: Top Eight | Bottom Eight ]

#3 CHMK Chunky Monkeys (14-4-1)
The Monkeys are only one year removed from their first title and were in a nice position to challenge for their second ring — especially with nemesis Sour Snails out of the picture. However, this aborted season could hurt CHMK as they aren’t exactly spring chickens. Of course, almost winning another regular season crown was within reach, and they were only a third seed due to one less tie and a H2H tiebreaker lost to SPDE. LeBron James and James Harden are basically enough to power CHMK to the best offense in the league — they led the season in PTS, 3PT, and was second in AST. Adding Davis Bertans and Bogdan Bogdanovic via the 2020 draft helped on that side of the ball as well. (Is it possible one of them overtakes Otto Porter as a keeper, after Porter’s injury plagued season?)

Since James continues his immortal ways, the championship window is always open here. The core of LeBron, Harden, and Lowry are definitely the oldest in the league, but it looks like last year’s prize rookie, 2019 RD1.16 Collin Sexton, might be something after a so-so rookie season. Having a young scorer like Sexton blossom is exactly what this aging core needs.

Monkeys may not be as dominant in years past but they did rip off a 9-0-1 stretch midseason, and there’s just no way a team this loaded can be counted out during any season, even as the competition for a title has gotten even tougher. For now, congrats to Evan on yet another division/conference title, their third in the last four years.

#4 SWMP Swamp Dragons (14-5)
After losing to Sour Snails in the 2019 Finals, SWMP was hoping to make their fourth Final appearance in nine years. And they were in perfect position to do it too, as their ODE splits of 2/1/6 over the last month had them the analytical favorites. Of course, the injuries to Kelly Oubre Jr., mid-season trade acquisition Malcolm Brogdon (for 2020 RD1.9 rookie Brandon Clarke), and the in-and-out status of Deandre Ayton probably would have put them short in the postseason. Unless free agent pickup and future NBA MVP Christian Wood — acquired for just $1 FAAB — was going to carry them to title town!

SWMP wrapped up the regular season on a 7-1 run — the lone loss was to ABCX — and they were 11-2 from December on. Just about everyone on this roster is at or near their primes, with Nikola Jokic and Paul George leading the way. And now Ayton has firmly cemented his “not Luka but still damn good” fantasy status. With D’Angelo Russell and Malik Beasley both moved to Minnesota, there’s once again a wealth of depth and roster decisions for Eddie. Could Beasley edge out Oubre or Brogdon — the rare losing trade between FUNK and SWMP, as the send off was rookie Brandon Clarke — for a keeper spot next season? We count nine possible keepers here… Yep, SWMP is loaded and we’ll see if they can push their way to a semi back-to-back Finals appearance next year!

#5 FOBS Fob Stars (12-7)
Well, that was unexpected. After hovering around 0.500 for the past four years, FOBS put up an impressive twelve wins on their way to a 0.632 season, good enough for a power rank of five and home court advantage in the postseason — this would have been their fifth straight appearance after their first six seasons in the Toilet Bowl.

Much of their success can be attributed to a league leading efficiency rating, as they are stellar at both percentages and have very low turnovers for a better than league average offense. FOBS ended the season on a 4-1 run, and was leading SPDE during the aborted last week. Would they have been good enough to be a dark horse contender? Maybe!

The Damian Lillard show continues to roll on, and 2018 RD3.8 pick John Collins really exploded in his third year, even after missing the first twenty games due to a PED suspension. Collins gives FOBS another fantasy superstar to build around and 2020 RD1.12 Rui Hachimura showed enough in his injury plagued rookie season to give FOBS fans hope that he’ll be a cornerstone piece as well.

We made fun of GM Jimmy for keeping Jordan Clarkson and DeAndre Jordan this past offseason, but both were pretty serviceable actually. Add in the return to (assist) form from Ricky Rubio and we have to say it: the FOBS' contention window is right now. Lillard, Rubio, and 2020 RD2.4 Bojan Bogdanovic are all on the wrong side of thirty, and with FOBS getting better each year, it’s time to turn their sights toward a big move!

#6 FJUB Fat Jubas (12-7)
Eleven years, ten playoff appearances! FJUB has consistency been one of the better teams around but after a title in 2012, they haven’t really been true contenders for the most part. The same goes for this season, as they put up another twelve wins — their third in a row. Still, there are some accolades to hand out. FJUB led the league in defensive rating and Eric was the top ranked owner, with a third ranking in Games Played, second in moves (with twenty-seven), and those twelve wins, good for a fifth ranking. So good job there!

Chris Paul was reborn in Oklahoma City, while Jonas Valanciunas had a peak season in his new home of Memphis. CP3 and Jonas have been with Jubas for eight and seven years respectively, giving them one of the under-the-radar longest serving one-team keepers around. Unfortunately, this probably wasn’t FJUB’s year to win it all either, as they stumbled down the stretch with only two wins in five games — after an impressive 8-1 streak right before.

The potential title window here could be closing soon too, as Paul is thirty-five, new Rocket Robert Covington about to turn thirty, and both Jrue Holiday and Valanciunas approaching thirty as well. The good news is that 2020 RD3.10 Fred VanVleet is just entering his prime and coming off a career year, while rookie Eric Paschall could also contend for a keeper slot after a usage heavy first season in Golden State. Shout out to free agent pickups Shake Milton and Naz Reid too!

FJUB has been good but not great for awhile now, but maybe a bit of rejiggering could take them back to their glory days. Let’s hope they can do it!

#7 FUNK Funk Coalition (10-8-1)
After stringing together back-to-back postseason appearances last season, FUNK is officially out of the doldrums with their third straight playoff showing. After their first eight seasons of rarely touching 0.500, that’s definitely cause for celebration. Three-peat!

Even after putting up a third-“best” violations of six lineup mishaps, FUNK was able to pull it together down the stretch to go 5-1 -- all without Karl-Anthony Towns around and Jonathan Isaac lost for the season. It was the Jayson Tatum show down the stretch as he fulfilled his promise as KAT’s all-around running mate. Now the KAT, Tatum, and Trae Young core just needs some tinkering to potentially sniff contention status.

GM Jon made the only two in-season Slam trades this season — that’s embarrassing guys, c’mon! — and ended up with promising rookie Brandon Clarke to add to their frontline. Aside from Gordon Hayward, every other possible keeper is twenty-five or younger, so the future is bright for FUNK. Now if Towns could just stay healthy and not devolve into injury plagued Anthony Davis 2.0, there might be more success down the road for our friendly commish. Woohoo, Tatum!!!!

#10 SNAC Snack Bears (8-10-1)
A team with championship aspirations to start the season — on the heels of drafting Zion Williamson with 2020 RD1.1 — SNAC had a tanktastic start to the season as they went 1-7 and lost eight of their first ten matchups. Ah, but when Williamson came back and Nikola Vucevic and Kristaps Porzingis found their footing, it was a different story as they racked up a 6-2-1 over the back half of the year — although not one of those were versus a team with a winning record. That left them just outside the playoff picture.

SNAC finished the season with ODE splits of 7/5/8 — rising to 6/4/13 over the last month — which bodes well for them. Aside from some percentage and turnover issues, this team seems capable of having it all, with outstanding strengths in PTS and BLK when fully healthy.

Revisiting SNAC’s two big pre-draft deals, it could be argued that SNAC lost both of them, as Bam Adebayo emerged as a fantasy star (traded along with Blake Griffin for Vucevic) and Jaylen Brown arguably surpassed Richardson in value (that trade also included Wendell Carter going to HSTL). However, consolidation had to be done and it’s hard to beat Vucevic’s all around numbers. And of course, the core of Bradley Beal, De’Aaron Fox, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Vucevic, Porzingis, and Josh Richardson are top notch, so adding another lottery talent seems almost unfair. With a little tinkering, and some Zion health, there’s no way this team finishes so low again.

The one blemish heading into next season is SNAC’s thirteenth ranked Games Played, which could use some work next season. Could a new coaching philosophy help juice this team to contention?

#12 CMTO Cameltoe (5-12-2)
In CMTO’s four years in the league, they’ve racked up a whopping twenty wins, and are batting 0.263 — good for second worst owner record of all time. They ended the season on a 0-8-1 losing streak and had nary a highlight on the season, aside from WK7 and WK11 wins versus FOBS and SQSQ respectively. Despite some optimism at midseason, this franchise remains in the dumps.

Even a fully healthy season from Anthony Davis — and a fantasy MVP-esque season from Hassan Whiteside — can’t seem to change CMTO's fortunes. The real culprit here is the coaching from Felipe though, as they led the league with nine lineup violations and had the lowest GP at 398 — the league average is 461. With only 20.9 GP per week, it would be impossible for almost team to win consistently.

The good news is that there is some promising talent here. Aside from Davis and Whiteside, there’s still the potential of 2020 RD1.8 Jarrett Culver, sophomore Michael Porter Jr., and the mysterious in-and-out stylings of Marvin Bagley. The core also includes Buddy Hield, who is the lone above-average player in the backcourt. With another high pick coming up, CMTO will need to find some sort of point guard solution to move the franchise forward, but most of all they’ll need to get their lineups into the game!

#13 TRUO Truo Thien (5-13-1)
At the bottom of the Russell Conference, we have Thien, whose TRUO franchise has averaged 10.2 wins for over a decade. This past season's five total wins was definitely a nadir — coming off their first non-0.500 campaign in 2019 — but this is a coach that never slacks as Thien led the league in Moves again with 42 — second place was FJUB with 27 — and was top five in Games Played. Even in a losing campaign, “that’s how you play the game!”

Of course, going 1-7-1 over the back half of the season isn’t pretty but it’s been a tough injury season for TRUO all around. Jimmy Butler was a rock this year but Kemba Walker missed the last month, Mike Conley is either in precipitous decline or mostly washed, and Lauri Markkanen is starting to lose some of his promising shine.

Could the future portend a shift to a full rebuild? It’s hard to imagine some of this season’s stalwarts like Marcus Morris and Julius Randle repeating their numbers next year. Or can Thien unearth some gems with their next draft? TRUO has never found themselves near the bottom of the standings before so it’ll be interesting to see what they do moving forward. But organizations win championships and TRUO has been one of Slam’s best so we’re eager to see what they can cobble together to return to the postseason.

Power Ranking: 2020

So despite our abbreviated season, we do have the final standings -- assuming the regular season doesn't pick up where it left off. We played WK1-19, and here are the power rankings, after accounting for tie-breakers. [ 2019 New Rules | Power Ranking Formula ]

#1 SQSQ Squirtle Squad (14-3-2)
#2 SPDE Spade (14-4-1)
#3 CHMK Chunky Monkeys (14-4-1)
#4 SWMP Swamp Dragons (14-5)
#5 FOBS Fob Stars (12-7)
#6 FJUB Fat Jubas (12-7)
#7 FUNK Funk Coalition (10-8-1)
#8 ILCN IL Conceived (9-10)

#9 ABCX Another Bad Creation (8-9-2)
#10 SNAC Snack Bears (8-10-1)
#11 SBUK So Buckets (8-10-1)
#12 CMTO Cameltoe (5-12-2)
#13 TRUO Truo Thien (5-13-1)
#14 BUFF Buffy (5-14)
#15 SOUR Sour Snails (4-15)
#16 HSTL Hilt the Stilt (4-15)

Tie Breakers

• SPDE vs CHMK (14-4-1): H2H to SPDE, WK1
• FOBS vs FJUB (12-7): H2H to FOBS, WK5
• ILCN vs ABCX (9-10, 8-9-2): H2H to ILCN, WK7
• SNAC vs SBUK (8-10-1): H2H to SNAC, WK9 and WK17
• SOUR vs HSTL (4-15): H2H to SOUR, WK2

Final Standings 2020

[ Full Stats ]

[ Full Power Rankings 2020 ]

Midseason: Bottom Eight

We’re really closer to the end of the season, but we’re not at All Star break yet so let’s continue our tour of our teams at midseason! Last time, we looked at the eight teams that are likely playoff bound and none of that has changed since — if anything the gap has widened — with five wins being the best that the rest of the league has been able to muster. Let’s take a look at our possible Toilet Bowl contestants. [ Midseason: Top Eight Preseason: Chamberlain | Russell ]

Russell Conference
FUNK Funk Coalition (5-7-1)
A team that began the season with championship aspirations, Funk Coalition has been felled by a number of reasons. The absence of Karl-Anthony Towns surely was a big one, along with Gordon Hayward until recently, but Coach Jon has also been asleep at the wheel. With five GP violations — defined as weeks where they messed up their lineup — Funk didn’t come anywhere close to maxing out their winning opportunities, with WK8-11 the most egregious example of their negligence. (They did go 2-2 during this stretch however.) They have the fourth-worst Games Played ranking at 293 — the league average is 310 GP. After starting the season off 3-0-1, Funk has lost three in a row and are 2-7 since, with matchups against the defending champs this week, and then three playoff teams in a row.

But GM Jon never gives up, as he just moved Spencer Dinwiddie to BUFF for Malcolm Brogdon — there was an earlier in-season trade for Goga Bitadze — and KAT has returned to action. Even with Jonathan Isaac out for the season, FUNK could try to make a strong push to end the year. This is still a decent offensive team with Trae Young and Jayson Tatum carrying the load — at the cost of a fifteenth ranked FG% — but this team is terrible on the boards, ranking last in the league in REB, and suffers from a lack of PTS as well. Can better coaching and health give Funk some respectability back?

CMTO Cameltoe (5-7-1)
While the real Anthony Davis is enjoying life as a Laker, the fantasy AD is wallowing in CMTO-land, as he’s playing on a team that started off 1-1-4. The good news is that football season is over and Cameltoe has gone 4-3 in recent weeks, with a huge win over the Chamberlain leading Squirtle Squad in WK11. After racking up only three wins all of last season, this 2020 CMTO campaign is actually a bit of a success already. Of course, Coach Felipe continues to lead the league in violations (six) and are last in total Games Played, with only 280 GP (21.5 avg) on the season. It’s hard to win when your guys don’t play, and we’re curious what a full Cameltoe lineup would look like.

After all, CMTO has the best center duo in the league, with Davis and Hassan Whiteside annihilating foes inside, helping CMTO rank tops in BLK. Unfortunately, that’s all CMTO has been good at this season, as the rest of this roster has been underwhelming all season long. Even Buddy Hield has been a bit off his game. Cameltoe are basically worst in the league in PTS, AST, STL, and don’t even have a great FG% or REB ranking despite their dominating twin towers.

This is still a growing team however, with Marvin Bagley, rookie Jarrett Culver, and the sky high potential of Michael Porter Jr. to build around. Heck, Mortiz Wagner was looking pretty nasty before he suffered injuries. With another Toilet Bowl appearance all but assured, we’ll see if Felipe can take Davis and Whiteside to a high draft pick next season.

SNAC Snack Bears (4-8-1)
It’s been one heck of a disappointing season for Snack Bears. A roster that looked entirely overloaded preseason — and gave Brandon championship hopes — started off with one win in their first two months and well, that’s about all she wrote. Or is it?! During the past month, SNAC has gone 3-1-1 and Zion Williamson just made his debut in historic fashion on Wednesday night. All the juicy talent is still on-board and now healthy, with De’Aaron Fox and Nikola Vucevic rounding into shape after early season struggles. Even with Kristaps Porzingis taking his sweet time getting into the groove, Will Barton has stepped up to become an across the board contributor. And there’s still Bradly Beal, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, and Josh Richardson too.

SNAC is about league average in every category over the past month, with the only week spots being a fourteenth ranked FG% and a lowly 3PT and BLK ranking. If Zion can stay healthy the rest of the way, he could inflate some of those numbers quickly. Staring at another Toilet Bowl appearance, it’s quite possible Snack could rampage their way to another high draft pick to join this talented crew. A chance to upset SQSQ this week will give us an idea how good SNAC could potentially be. Until then, to Zion!

TRUO Game Changer (4-9-0)
After five straight playoff appearances, it looks like Thien will miss the postseason back-to-back for the first time in their history. TRUO started off 3-3 but then since then have collapsed to just one win in the past two months — that one win was against SOUR in WK10. I guess when Andrew Wiggins cools off, your team just slides down the standings! This last place team in Russell is going to need some help to make a dent in the Toilet Bowl. Of course, Thien is always grinding away, with the league’s second best Games Played at 331 GP (25.5 avg) — trailing ILCN by four games — and as always, leads the league in Moves.

TRUO actually has an ODE split of 5/9/11 on the season, which isn’t too bad, but that has dipped to 11/10/12 over the past month. Their glaring weakness is a last place ranking in FG%, as well as ranking near the bottom of the league in PTS, AST, and STL. The irony is that the backcourt is the strength of the team, as Kemba Walker and Jimmy Butler are likely NBA All Stars. Pre-draft acquisition Julius Randle has picked up his game of late as well — with Marcus Morris also getting trash stats in New York.

The problem is that Lauri Markkanen has struggled all year, and Mike Conley has basically been M.I.A. for the entire campaign. The only non-rookie drafted in the 2020 draft, Miles Bridges has outperformed most of the rookies taken beneath him, but has also been erratic despite good minutes. Overall, TRUO will need some luck and some pluck to challenge in the Toilet Bowl as they try to pull themselves out of a tailspin that must be foreign to their fans.

Chamberlain Conference
ABCX Another Bad Creation (5-7-1)
Ja Morant! The rookie is taking Memphis to the playoffs — a certainty right? — and will likely win R.O.Y. as he has been everything Oliver could have asked for in a RD1.2 pick. After starting the season off 1-4, ABCX has actually been kind of okay, with alternating weeks of a win and a loss for two months. They are 3-3-1 since WK6 and could topple Swamp Dragons this week given a little luck. At least they have eclipsed last year’s four wins already.

We attribute all this semi-success to Morant of course, who must be a pleasure to watch and own. Another Bad Creation still revolves around Russell Westbrook though, and he’s enjoyed help from super vets like LaMarcus Aldridge and Derrick Rose this season. Evan Fournier and TJ Warren provide enough complementary scoring punch to give ABCX a league average offensive rating — and an excellent showing in both percentages, giving ABCX a top five efficiency rating. However, this is a team without much defense, as they are last in STL and ranked about fourth to last in REB and BLK as well. Some outside shooting would be nice as well, even with Aldridge deciding to become a mad bomber from outside the arc recently.

While they are technically only two games out of a playoff spot, it’s likely ABCX will hit the Toilet Bowl again, and for a team with such a long in the tooth roster and some big gaping holes, it’s probably a good idea to collect some more talent. The question is if Ja and Russell will be enough to take Oliver to another high pick…

SOUR Sour Snails (3-10)
Have we ever had a title holder fall off so fast? Of course, this is SOUR we’re talking about so we’re not going to crow much. I mean, this is clearly a tank season for Trieu as they started off 1-10 to start the year, with their lone win versus HSTL in WK2. Being down Kevin Durant and Steph Curry will do that to you. Even Pascal Siakam has been in and out of the lineup this year. Coach Trieu has even put up three GP violations this season, and is third to last in Games Played overall. All part of the plan though!

The last time SOUR hit the Toilet Bowl, they went to the TB Finals and emerged with Damian Lillard (2012), and that came off the heels of a four win season. Since then they’ve won four titles — three in a row — and have dominated SlamNation. So um, yeah. While we won’t see Sour challenge for a ring this year, they will be going after a prize for sure. What are their chances of taking another long Toilet Bowl run?

Siakam is back, and Curry returns in a month. That will give the offense a huge boost of course, as SOUR is ranked fourteenth in PTS and AST. Even hobbled, they are good at FG% and STL, and Trieu can thank Zach LaVine for holding it down all year. Sadly, Terry Rozier has been eclipsed by Devonte’ Graham but he’s still been decent. There are a ton of areas of weakness for this team — especially on the frontline with Mitchell Robinson and Steven Adams — but never count out Sour, I think the whole league has learned that lesson plenty of times. Could a top pick next year join this roster? We must do everything in our power to prevent this, otherwise the Sour dynasty continues!

HSTL Hilt the Stilt (3-10)
In his rookie year, Dave struggled to get a hang of the way we do things. Still, HSTL emerged with six wins. This year, Coach Dave has only two GP violations — although they are still second to last in total Games Played with 287 (22.1 avg) — and half the wins. What is going on?! After starting off the season with a quick win, HSTL then stumbled to a 1-5 record and is currently mired in a five game losing streak. With a softer end of the year schedule, Hilt could pick it up but it’s possible they end up with less wins than last season.

The good news is, we like this team, even if it’s been shot through with injuries. Jaylen Brown has emerged as a borderline All Star, and the other return from the pre-draft Josh Richardson trade, Wendell Carter, has proven his worth. Andre Drummond continues to Drummond and well, Aaron Gordon hasn’t quite blown up has he? This team is begging for a franchise cornerstone and one could be on the way, as Victor Oladipo could finally return after an extended absence.

Can Oladipo help our lowest ODE team? Hilt is last in offense, twelfth on defense, and even sport a thirteenth in efficiency despite the low TOs from a small Games Played total. On the season, they are ranked last in PTS, FT%, 3PT, and AST. There has been a nice uptick in STL over the past month though. HSTL is still a growing franchise, and a top pick would certainly help but it’ll be an uphill battle for them to advance far in the Toilet Bowl. Still, there’s no reason Dave can’t surprise in his sophomore campaign and if Oladipo can return to the lineup, then Jaylen can take Boston to a title… Can you tell I’m all in on this year’s Celtics?

BUFF Buffy (2-11)
Unless something changes, Buffy is headed to a last place record and could likely sink even lower than their three win 2018 campaign. Ouch. When you start off 1-8, I guess the towel is about ready to be thrown in right? Of course not! GM Roger has never been one to give up, as evidenced by leading the league in Games Played last season. While BUFF has racked up two GP violations this year, they are still top give in Games Played and boast breakout seasons from three players: Brandon Ingram, Domantas Sabonis, and Malcolm Brogdon. That’s three possible NBA All Stars to emerge in one season! Plus the continued success of rookie free agent find Kendrick Nunn and this has been like an entirely new squad. So let’s now linger over Buffy’s two wins, perhaps they just need time to gel.

All that emerging talent has made the rookie whiffs of De’Andre Hunter and Cam Reddish easier to stomach. And with Ben Simmons now fully unleashed for a few weeks, BUFF has their sights set on winning the Toilet Bowl. They recently made a trade, acquiring Spencer Dinwiddie for Brogdon, and have a mostly healthy team moving forward — minus Klay Thompson’s lost season and the continued absence of Paul Millsap.

Even with all this losing, BUFF has been okay in their rankings, as the rare losing team that actually is quite balanced across every category. Over the past month, they are even top two in FG% and REB, with decent rankings everywhere save 3PT and FT%. There’s the promise of a good team here, and despite their lack of wins, BUFF could be a dark horse contender for the Toilet Bowl finals.