Rivalry Week: WK11

Okay so Rivalry Week didn’t exactly take off did it? We only had two or three teams call each other out so in lieu of actually doing that, I just set up some logical rivalry matchups!

LA Buffy (2-7-1) vs Fat Jubas (4-6)
Roger and Eric are both multiple title winners in our long running fantasy football league, Catch the Damn Ball, so it makes sense they’ll want to extend their competition to the gridiron.

Swamp Dragons (3-5-2) vs So Buckets (6-3-1)
Eddie and Josh entered the league at the same time, in 2012, and will forever be linked in SlamNation lore, so this one will be for bragging rights!

Chunky Monkeys (10-0) vs Funk Coalition (6-3-1)
Longtime friends, but rarely rivals, except on the fantasy field, Jon wants to take out Evan and have three shots at usurping the current undefeated team in the league...

Squirtle Squad (6-4) vs Another Bad Creation (7-3)
Another longtime football pairing, Brian and Oliver have competed over titles in Maize and Blue and these two division-mates are currently running #1 and #2 in Transformers division so let’s give them another matchup!

Sour Snails (7-3) vs Red Dagger (7-2-1)
Brother versus brother, again. This time, defending champs Trieu are vulnerable while Thien and his Red Dagger team fueled up in the off-season a championship run!

Sager’s Suits and Ties (6-4) vs Team Cameltoe (3-7)
Having just joined us in 2017, Felipe and Matt are newish owners still looking for some sustained success. With Felipe’s team undergoing a thorough rebuild, but Matt’s team emerging from a 4-15 rookie season to six wins already this year, this will be a battle to watch.

Team Spade (1-9) vs Snack Bears (1-9)
I mean, the two one-win teams have to match up right? How has Randall been so bad with such a good keeper core? And how can Brandon right the ship after a disastrous early season?

IL Conceived (4-5-1) vs Fob Stars (3-6-1)
Another Chinese school pairing, new owner Frank and Jimmy have been at it for years! Now they fight to get out of the SlamNation cellar and maybe one of them can secure an edge for the Toilet Bowl!

Schedule 2018: Updated Master Schedule

After yet another schedule snafu, our commissioners went back in and fixed the old schedule, giving it a color refresh and making sure the matrix looks correct. So while 2018's WK4-8 matchups are messed up, everything moving forward should be juuuuust right! We added an exciting WK11 "Rivalry Week" this year, so we're waiting for those matchups to come up. Use it as an opportunity to call out your favorite frenemy or maybe to avenge a close loss!

[ Schedule Matrix ]

Here is our schedule explained in as plain English as possible. Note: In past years we ran 19 regular season weeks, but this year it was expanded to 21 by the NBA schedule makers.

Our league’s 16 teams are split into two conferences — Russell and Chamberlain. The 8 teams in each conference are split into two divisions (C: Transformers / Silverhawks and R: Thundercats / Voltron); every division has four teams.

• Division Games (6): Every team plays six games against the other three teams in its division, facing off twice per season
• Intra-Conference Games (4): Every team plays one game against each of the four teams from the other division within its conference
• Out-Of-Conference Games (8): Every team plays one game against each of the eight teams from the other conference
• Strength of Schedule Games (2): Every team plays its remaining two games, aka “extra,” against two intra-conference teams as determined by the previous season’s standings. The #1 finisher from a division will play #1 and #3 from the intra-conference division, while the #4 finisher from the previous season faces the #2 and #4 finishers from the opposing intra-conference division
• Rivalry Games (1): Every team plays one rivalry game, usually WK11, if the schedule allows

Is there strength of schedule involved?
Yes. But very slight. And it’s mostly in the intra-conference games, where the #1 finishers from each division face the opposing inter-conference division #1 and #3 seeds twice — the two extra conference games referenced above — making their overall schedule slightly tougher.

On the flip side, if you’re a lowly #4 seed in your division, you would play the #2 and #4 seeds from the other conference for your extra games, resulting in a slightly different schedule. Make sense?

Every season should unfold like this:
• The regular season opens with two intra-conference games versus the two teams you’ll face again -- in WK17/18 -- these are the two Strength of Schedule games
• There are four out-of-conference games in each of the season’s two halves -- divided between WK 1-10 and WK11-20. There are slightly more intra-conference games in the season’s first half and more division games in the season’s second half.
• Division Games are usually, assuming twenty-one week season: WK3, 8, 14, 19, 20, 21
• Most importantly, the season closes with three straight matchups against your division mates, giving us an exciting end of season race for division champs

Note: We're not using "intra" vs "inter" because it's too confusing. Technically out-of-conference games are "inter-conference games" but we're just gonna say "out-of-conference."

Forever Young

Looking to make a splash after his wildly successful start to the season —  IL Conceived started off 0-3 but then ripped off three straight wins, tripling the number of wins previous franchise Jedi Knights had acquired in 2016-7 combined (a paltry 1-37 record) — new owner Frank moved quickly to trade away the only two veterans from his dispersal draft: Jrue Holiday and Jeff Teague.

After many discussions and strategy sessions, it was decided that the time to move Holiday and Teague was now, in a classic old for young swap, as IL Conceived’s small ball team was um, winning too much. The two vets were clogging up playing time for IL Conceived's prize rookie point guards: Donovan Mitchell and Dennis Smith Jr. For example, Teague was averaging 13.8 PTS, 7.5 AST, 1.6 STL, and 1.5 3PT for a nice fourth banana role in his new Minnesota home while Jrue Holiday was putting up 16.7 PTS, 5.6 AST, 4.3 REB, 1.3 3PT down in New Orleans.

With the kids ready for more minutes, IL Conceived looked to balance out their roster and cash in their month-old franchise leaders for some more upside guys. Enter Harrison Barnes and Jaylen Brown. At just twenty-five years old, Barnes has established himself as a consistent high volume scorer at 18.5 PTS, along with 7.6 REB. Rumors swirled pre-draft that Barnes was on the way out in Jubas-land and now he’s finally gone.

The real upside play for IL Conceived was nabbing Jaylen Brown, who was gotten on the cheap in RD5 by Swamp Dragons just a few weeks ago. The versatile sophomore has taken advantage of Gordon Hayward’s injury to get lots of floor time and has looked on the verge of a breakout. (Of course, he has been awful post-trade for IL Conceived…) Brown is playing over thirty minutes a game and putting up 14.8 PTS, 1.8 3PT, and 5.9 REB.

With the old vets Jrue (27 yrs old) and Jeff (29) gone, IL Conceived is now even younger than before,, and has pivoted entirely behind the Aaron Gordon, Dennis Smith, and Donovan Mitchell trio. Or will more trades be forthcoming now that new owner Frank has an itchy trigger finger?!

Trade ID#80:

• IL Conceived trades Jeff Teague to Swamp Dragons in exchange for Jaylen Brown

Trade ID#81:

• IL Conceived receive Harrison Barnes, Ersan Ilyasova, Jubas 2019 RD2 in exchange for Jrue Holiday, Tyler Johnson, IL Conceived 2019 RD5

For Jubas, adding Jrue Holiday gives the team a sudden boost in veteran guard savvy with the additional return of Chris Paul to the lineup. After the recent return of Rajon Rondo in New Orleans, Holiday has actually upped his scoring average to 21.4 PTS in his last two weeks as more of a scoring option. Eric also adds flamethrower Tyler Johnson to the perimeter and could use him for some additional outside shooting. Giving up a 2019 RD2 was the cost of improving now as Jubas fights for a playoff spot -- against the very same IL Conceived franchise!

As for Swamp Dragons, the slow starting NBA career of 2018 #1 overall Markelle Fultz (and the team's own slow start) prompted GM Eddie to make the high value move of Jaylen Brown, a RD5 pick, for a productive veteran right now. Teague will immediately lead Dragons in AST and team with Dennis Schroder to make a nice one-two punch as the playmakers in the backcourt.

Chamberlain 2018: Silverhawks

IL Conceived (0-18-1)
The good news is that it shouldn’t be difficult to improve on Jedi Knight’s two year record of 0-18-1 and 1-18 in 2016/7. I mean, one win will tie and two wins will already put new owner Frank on better footing than the previous regime. With a 24-115-5 record in eight seasons, no playoff experience, and a history of in-season mismanagement, IL Conceived will need an entire culture overhaul. It’s a good thing Frank's enthusiastic! The bad news is that getting even two wins might be difficult here. I mean, the best player on the six man core might be Tim Hardaway Jr, who signed a huge off-season contract and should now get all the shots he wants in New York. Youngish vets Jeff Teague and Jrue Holiday are around to steady the backcourt, and there’s immense promise with Aaron Gordon and Willie Cauley-Stein in the frontcourt but they might also just be perpetually on the verge. Justise Winslow was picked up for his defensive upside, but he still can’t shoot. And that’s that on the keeper situation.

However, Dennis Smith Jr. is here! With the third overall pick, Frank grabbed Smith, who was rumored to be considered for the #1 and #2 overall picks. In the end, IL Conceived could have grabbed the kind of superstar that could jumpstart a franchise. Already this prognosticator is all-in on Smith and we think he’ll be better than Markelle Fultz… There’s also another interesting rookie, summer league star Donovan Mitchell, who could now have extra time with Dante Exum out (again). At backup big, there will be a battle for some playing time between Skal Labissiere and Bobby Portis, with Kelly Olynyk and Tyler Johnson likely starters to bring additional outside shooting onto the floor. Overall this could be an exciting team full of growth, but we’re not sure two wins is around the corner. Frank the Tank?!

Fob Stars (9-10)
With another solid nine win season under their belts, Fob Stars have proven that they aren’t in the league’s bottom dwellers anymore — that’s four out of five seasons hovering right around 0.500. With back-to-back playoff appearances to boot, Jimmy’s team is entering its most successful stretch. A couple of trades last year brought in new keepers Ricky Rubio, DeAndre Jordan, and Tobias Harris, all of which can be considered wins. While Jamal Murray flashed some upside last year, he’ll still need to advance quite a bit this season. Kemba Walker is here to lead this team, and he and stretch four Ryan Anderson combine for 5.0 3PT a game.

Poised on the brink of continued success, GM Jimmy also has gone young with his draft. We love Rodney Hood’s scoring opportunities this year, and rookie John Collins has all the opportunity in Atlanta to take over the power forward minutes. And there’s UCLA rookie TJ Leaf in Indiana to do the same (no idea who he was but since Jimmy is a Bruin I guess he must know?). Seth Curry and Yogi Ferrell will likely cannibalize each other’s minutes in a crowded Mavericks backcourt but that’s okay for now. And if Rondae Hollis-Jefferson can find a shot he can really be useful for his REB-AST help. Overall Fob Stars are looking very competitive, with a bunch of outside shooting surrounding DeAndre, and now with a point guard who will really sling the passes around to all deep threats. The old plodding frontcourt of Zach Randolph and Marcin Gortat are finally gone, and now it’s a race to outscore opponents!

Fat Jubas (13-5-1)
It’s a shame Jubas has been stuck in a division with Sour Snails because otherwise they would be the class of the division. Still, with one title, seven postseason appearances, a semi-Toilet Bowl win, and the third highest overall winning percentage (62.6%), Jubas are always a contender. I mean, sort of. Despite three straight upset wins in the first round of the playoffs, Jubas just can’t get over the Sour Snails hump — they’ve been knocked out by them the past three years. Then again, who can defeat the Snails!?!

The returning core of Chris Paul, Gordon Hayward, Nicolas Batum, Jonas Valanciunas, Harrison Barnes, and new keeper Myles Turner should be strong as usual. Paul and Hayward are in new NBA situations but their numbers should at least stay even. Barnes emerged as a real scoring asset last year and Turner is poised for a super breakout year. It’s a shame Batum already hurt but the Frenchman tends to get dinged up anyway. Jae Crowder will need to step in to replace him for awhile as the glue guy. We’re big fans of Milos Teodosic’s incredible passing and we hope he’ll inherit all of Paul’s leftover assists when he ditched Los Angeles. Pau Gasol and Robin Lopez are both serviceable and predictable, and now eerily about the same player fantasy wise. There’s some upside in shooters Norman Powell and Bogdan Bogdanovic so if one of them can break out, Jubas will split the difference between contending and growing depth wonderfully. It’s gonna be hard to do better than last year’s thirteen wins but if anyone has a clear shot at upsetting Snails in the Chamberlain Conference, it’ll have to be CP3 and Milos!

Sour Snails (17-1-1)
There’s not much to say here about a three-peat winner. Just look over last season’s post-Finals article for all the details of how Snails got here. However, we all know that egos get in the way after three straight titles so this is definitely the year Snails go down! Cleared of controversy that Trieu was secretly running two teams, the Snails are looking vulnerable for the first time in awhile. I mean, if vulnerable includes acquiring Kevin Durant mid-season to pair with Steph Curry… While Russell Westbrook’s triple doubles were missed, Durant’s all around efficiency fits this team even better. So where’s the hope here? Well, semi-new acquisitions Mike Conley, Brook Lopez, and Nerlens Noel are all pretty injury prone so if they can all get hurt, along with one of KD or Steph, we could have a Snails showing in the Toilet Bowl! Oh and if Thibodeau runs Jimmy Butler into the ground, that would be nice too.

Four-peats DON’T happen! With only four losses total in the past four seasons, could we be staring at a season in which Trieu suffers four defeats in one year? I say “yes!” Then again, if everyone goes down, “Kobe 2.0” Kyle Kuzma could become the star of the show and probably still lead Trieu to a (summer league) title. Snails’ draft was pretty utilitarian with Markieff Morris, Wilson Chandler, and Josh Richardson for big wings, and tank big men Jahlil Okafor and Bismack Biyombo around in case Lopez and Noel go down.

Seriously, this is the year Snails goes down…. Please?....

Russell 2018: Thundercats

Funk Coalition (7-12)
If you’re not gonna win the Toilet Bowl, you might as well try to not be in it at all right? After back-to-back loser wins to secure Karl-Anthony Towns and Ben “Next Magic” Simmons, Funk Coalition has completed overturned his keeper core, keeping only KAT as his franchise cornerstone. Gone are Andre Drummond, DeAndre Jordan, Ricky Rubio, Rajon Rondo, and Tobias Harris. After a flurry of pre and in-season trades last year, the new look Funk is KAT, Simmons, Klay Thompson, D’Angelo Russell, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, and Derrick Favors. Also gone is big ball and with it a new analytics focused approach that completely removes decision making from GM Jon’s very subjective opinions.

With a young skewing roster, the perpetually rebuilding Funk drafted Celtics rookie Jayson Tatum at 2018 1.7, and will wait on his progress. With a hole at small forward until Tatum evolves into Paul Pierce 2.0, Funk drafted Thaddeus Young, Terrence Ross, and CJ Miles to fill up the wings. Nikola Mirotic will be on-board to spread the floor around KAT but the only other front court support here is Favors and FA pickup Cody Zeller. Time will tell if this more balanced version of Funk can succeed but with only one playoff berth in their history, and no division wins, a successful season for Jon would be even sniffing a post-season appearance. Good luck in this stacked division though...

Swamp Dragons (10-9)
After narrowly missing out on the playoffs, Swamp Dragons took their winning but no playoff appearance record and then proceeded to roll their way to the 2018 top pick. After having multiple discussions about trading down, GM Eddie decided to stay put and take the consensus #1, Markelle Fultz. Can Fultz make an impact on a crowded Sixers roster? We’ll find out! Swamp Dragons can afford to roll the dice on Fultz and his new free throw shooting mechanic because Dragon's post-LeBron James rebuild team has returned to competitiveness awfully fast. GM Eddie has done incredible work hitting on young talent via all avenues. Nikola Jokic via free agency, Jusuf Nurkic via draft, and Dennis Schroder via trade. And while the LeBron and Kyle Lowry for Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker trade seems to have been a bit of a loss — Parker was cut this off-season — Dragons can boast a wonderful talent base.

And in the potential of Fultz, the playing time ahead of sophomore Taurean Prince in RD3, plus Dewayne Dedmon, Jaylen Brown, and Allen Crabbe in the latter rounds of the draft and it’s clear that Eddie isn’t done fueling up even as the Swampies remain very competitive. And we haven’t even mentioned franchise player Paul George, who is headed to Oklahoma City to play second fiddle, but will likely remain a top tier fantasy force. Throw in the outside pop of Robert Covington (sixth keeper) and Eric Gordon (second 2018 RD1 pick resulting from LBJ trade) and Swamp is young, old, talented, deep, and a beautiful blend of just about everything. Let’s see if they’ll hit a Finals before even their most optimistic projections from a few years ago.

Team Spade (12-7)
With the most playoff appearances in SlamNation history (8), and never having missed the playoffs even once, the Spade franchise has a case for second most successful team in history. Since Randall took over in the 2014 season, he’s gone 51-25, and never had were than twelve wins in a season. A tremendously stable keeper core has helped as Spade has only changed one keeper during Randall’s time at the helm: Kobe Bryant in 2017 for Devin Booker. Just one keeper change in four years! The non-Booker five of Kawhi Leonard, Paul Millsap, Kevin Love, Al Horford, and Eric Bledsoe have just stuck around, and between them, they’ve provided Spade with awesome firepower in every category. Aha, but what about playoff success you say!? Well, Spade has only reached one Finals during this time, in 2016, and while they are perennial contenders, they do have quite the injury prone reputation — Kawhi, Love, and Booker are already DTD to start the season.

The strategy in drafts has always been for Randall to supplement his balanced top six. This year welcomes Reggie Jackson, Dion Waiters, and Patty Mills to the backcourt. Zach Randolph will get bruise his way to his usual numbers, and there’s hope that sophomore Willy Hernangomez can get a starting gig alongside best friend Kristaps Porzingis. Spade also took a flier on 7’3” Boban Marjanovic, who may not get much time in Detroit but will be a fan favorite at least. Maybe Boban can be the lucky charm that can get Spade a return to the playoffs and a much coveted ring.

Chunky Monkeys (18-1)
Of course, for anyone to get to a Finals, they’ll have to get through Chunky Monkeys first. Well, actually no. That’s not the case, because despite going all-in on LeBron James at the beginning of the 2016 season, Evan’s team hasn’t reach the Finals yet in two tries. Last year’s first round upset came on the heels of Kyle Lowry’s injury and while Chunky is loaded with a LeBron, James Harden, and Lowry trio, more tinkering could be needed to find the perfect complementary pieces to The King and The Beard. Last year’s version of Monkeys featured a lot of 3PT, including a combined 3.0 from centers Marc Gasol and Serge Ibaka. Now Ibaka is gone and Monkeys will play more traditionally with Gasol as the lone space clearer at center, as non-3PT shooting Clint Capela is Ibaka’s keeper replacement. Along with that, Otto Porter Jr. came on strong as a younger and better version of Jae Crowder, and he replaced the ex-Celtic in the keeper core.

Unfortunately, Monkey’s draft was slightly confusing. A team with a heavy veteran bent went young with Jamychal Green, Kris Dunn, Caris Levert, Mo Harkless, and Jerian Grant for their draft — Monkeys didn’t have a RD1 but did have two RD2 plus various other trades. The only championship ready contributor here is likely Patrick Beverly, who has a new starting gig in Clipperland. If the real LBJ was GM-ing this team, he’d be demanding some seasoned vets already, as who knows how long his championship window can stay open (with the new look Celtics obviously winning the title in 2019…). Of course, Evan went a league leading 18-1 last year, even beating out 17-1-1 Sour Snails, so it’s hard to say that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Will we finally see a Monkeys versus Snails in a Mt. Carmel title bout?!

Chamberlain 2018: Transformers

Sager’s Suits and Ties (4-15)
It was a tough season for SST last season, their first year in in SlamNation. After getting their first win relatively early, in WK3, Matt’s team went on a six game losing streak and any hopes of a 0.500 rookie year was dashed. Unfortunately, it was the worst regular season in the franchise’s history — dating back to Eron, Joven, and Chandler days (C Lucas has mysteriously re-joined our GroupMe!) — so there’s nowhere else to go but up! The good news is that Sager’s Suit and Ties are in prime position to have a great sophomore year. Blake Griffin is on a bounceback year and we love that he’ll now have more assists with micro-manager/aggressor Chris Paul gone. Draymond Green is still the most versatile fantasy player alive despite an off shooting year, and then there’s Bradley Beal, who had a fantastic true breakout season befitting his contract. Enes Kanter is now gone as a keeper, replaced by his former Thunder teammate Steven Adams, and Lou Williams was kept to bring some extra shooting to the core.

With the #4 overall pick in 2018 Matt elected to not invest in a rookie but instead took Jeremy Lin, who has set off social media with his new (appropriated) hairstyle, and will also likely have a pretty good season now that he’s fully healthy. Some prognosticators are saying that Lin will outproduce many of this year’s touted rookies, and he’ll definitely be given full rein to run point for SST -- something they were missing last year. We like the re-upside of RD3 pick Kent Bazemore on an empty Atlanta team and by adding Gorgui Dieng and Al-Farouq Aminu, GM Matt is hoping to build some useful depth. While JR Smith sulks about his non-starting role in Cleveland, he will be handy as another shooting threat. And while we’re not sure how Mason Plumlee will do in a crowded Denver front court, he’s a useful last round gamble. Overall, SST is still looking to find an identity and if they can hit 0.500 or somewhere close to it this season, their supportive fanbase would be happy with the upward trajectory. Also, RIP Craig Sager.

LA Buffy (7-11-1)
It’s official, Buffy is stuck on mediocrity hill. That may not even quite describe how Buffy has slipped to a three year record of 24-30-3 (after a 5-14 campaign in 2014) after their glory days of two division titles (2011, 2013). Playing in the traditional tough Transformers division hasn’t helped, but Roger is now officially the least playoff decorated team in the division — everyone else has at least four post-season appearances. Part of the problem for Buffy has been health issues. Last year Khris Middleton, Danilo Gallinari, and George Hill all missed major time. And now franchise cornerstone Isaiah “Back up the Brinks truck” Thomas will be out until at least February, which effectively takes him out of the 2018 SlamNation regular season. So the hope here is that 2017’s #2 overall pick, Brandon Ingram develops quickly! Roger did swing a pre-draft trade to pick up Serge Ibaka to bolster the frontline and that’ll help a lot as he replaces Tristan Thompson and Robin Lopez as keepers.

Traditionally, Roger’s drafts have skewed veteran heavy and he’s done it again (mostly). This time around though, Roger's gone for youngish veterans, the likes of Avery Bradley, Greg Monroe, Jordan Clarkson, Austin Rivers, and Mike Muscala. Buffy’s only drafted old guy was Ersan Ilysaova, who is thirty. Is Buffy suck a little in-between competitiveness and a youth movement? After four straight Toilet Bowl appearances, it may behoove Buffy to go into the loser bowl once again to grab a high pick in a loaded 2019 draft. We’d like to see this once proud franchise rise again but it may need to count on some more consistent health to avoid the mediocrity treadmill.

Squirtle Squad (8-11)
After four appearances in the Toilet Bowl (2010, 2011, 2016, 2017), Squirtle Squad finally made a TB Finals, and emerged with a high pick at the perfect time. While #2 Lonzo Ball may have more impact on the court with his unselfish play, there’s no doubting that fantasy Ball will at least bang in 3PT and distribute a ton of AST. Paired with Giannis Antetokounmpo’s all-around game, Squirtles could find themselves back in the playoffs after a two year absence — following four straight appearances from 2011-2015. While Zach LaVine’s injury recovery will take awhile, his new situation Chicago is a great one, and last year’s FA pickup of Thon Maker could pay off soon as Maker had a intriguing NBA playoffs run. Marquese Chriss has similar upside and this young Squad could be fully grown soon. For now, Goran Dragic — a result of a Serge Ibaka trade two years ago — and Nikola Vucevic are here to add a steady hand at PG and C until the kids are ready.

With a solid keeper core in place, GM Brian did grab some veterans to round out a potential postseason push. Trevor Ariza is always deceptively great and um, maybe Lance Stephenson and Chandler Parsons could maybe return to some glory? Squirtles is gambling that Timofey Mozgov will be there to grab all the REB for Brooklyn — oh wait, he’s already been cut for Alex Len -- and there were shots taken on sophomores Dejounte Murray and Tyler Ullis (via FA). Squirtles are definitely on a youth movement but their power curve could prove pretty short if Ball can work his magic in fantasy as well as on the floor.

Another Bad Creation (9-10)
Oh the indignity of not only a losing record playoff season but also a division title! Do we have rules against division titles handed out for sub-0.500 teams? No? Well, then ABC can say that last season was a success as they picked up their second Transformers banner (first back-to-back for the division) and Transformers' leading sixth playoff appearance. And oh yeah, not to bury the lead here but Oliver traded Kevin Durant. Yes, the player Oliver swore to never move got moved last season… For former teammate and triple double MVP Russell Westbrook!!! This league shattering deal immediately made Another Bad Creation a team of intrigue and despite getting upset in the first round by Fat Jubas, we’re excited that ABC finally has a point guard for their roster. And what a point guard! While Westbrook isn’t likely to average a triple double again, his numbers will still be incredible.

A very veteran heavy team, ABC is clearly gunning for playoff success behind Westbrook, LaMarcus Aldridge, Dwayne Wade, Wesley Matthews, Dirk Nowitzki, and Marcus “Boston Strangler” Morris. That’s an old team, possibly the oldest in SlamNation and even Malcolm Brogdon, last year's ROY and ABC's 2018 RD1 pick, is a bit old at twenty-four. The rest of the draft brought in Enes Kanter, Tyreke Evans, and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist while post-draft FA pickups added Evan Turner and Trevor Booker. The only other youngish player outside of Brogdon on this team is third year TJ Warren, who flashed signs of being a very effective situational scorer. Overall, Oliver is confident that with a new franchise cornerstone, and all this veteran savvy, he can get over the Fat Jubas playoff hump — ABC has been eliminated by Jubas in the first round three times — and then continue on to even greater things.

Russell 2018: Voltron

 Snack Bears (4-15)
After starting off winless in their first ten matchups, Snacks managed to go 4-5 the rest of the way. One of those wins was a huge WK16 victory against eventual Russell champ Chunky Monkeys and was Brandon’s highlight of the season. What’s next for this team? Well, a huge lineup is what! After a mid-season mega-deal that sent Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and Derrick Favors packing, Snack Bears now have the look of a punt PTS and FT% team. Recall that during Brandon’s rookie season, he went 10-9 for a surprising playoff berth and could be poised to do the same again behind an even jumbo-ier roster. Andre Drummond joins Kristaps Porzingis and Dwight Howard on the front line to create the most intimidating defensive wall in the league. Will Rajon Rondo and Marcus Smart do weird things and tank percentages? Probably! But they’ll rack up AST, REB, and STL along the way.

Plus, 2018 #4 pick De’Aaron Fox projects to be exactly like a Rondo/Smart lovechild with blazing speed, no shot, and stifling defense. And there’s a chance that fellow rookie Jonathan Isaac could get some major minutes in Orlando behind his defensive skills too. Should some shooting be required, sixth keeper Evan Fournier and third rounder Will Barton, plus late rounders Bojan Bogdanovic (the one on the Nets) and the corpse of DeMarre Carroll could be slotted in to provide some spacing. But if additional heads need to be banged, Tristan Thompson is available off the bench. Frankly, we’re excited to see this big ball team take the floor this season as they could surprise many SlamNation teams that are swinging very small and shooter heavy. Long live big ball!

Team Cameltoe (7-12)
Rookie owner Felipe came out a very respectable 6-7 before sliding into a five game losing streak that took them out of playoff contention. Still, there’s no denying that Cameltoe had a successful first year in Slam as they not only started competitively but also gathered talent and assets along the way. GM Felipe is not afraid to make moves, that’s for sure! Already, three of the six keepers Felipe chose are gone: Brook Lopez, Mike Conley, and now Carmelo Anthony in a pre-draft deal with Thien. See ya later vets!

With Anthony Davis and Hassan Whiteside manning the pivot, Cameltoe is getting a close approximation of the New Orleans Pelicans experience. Add in another bruiser in Marcin Gortat and this three-man unit officially gives Voltron another fearsome big man lineup. Actually, this team is slightly similar to Snack Bears as there’s also a mix of non-shooters at point guard with Elfrid Payton and surprise keeper Derrick Rose as the starting duo. Rookie Josh Jackson projects as a non-shooter too, but his all-around game will be valuable. Of course, Felipe won’t keep The Brow all boxed up without some spacing so Cameltoe also have Buddy Hield, JJ Redick, and rookie Malik Monk ready to bombs away. Marvin Williams has resurrected his career as a stretch four and he could come off the bench to great effect if necessary. Darren Collison and Michael Beasley are low end plug-ins but could be useful in pinches. We really like the draft and stash of Harry Giles because Cameltoe acquired so many extra RD3 picks this year that Felipe wanted to forfeit his later round pick! How bold! Here’s looking to another season from Cameltoe as we see Felipe’s vision take shape.

So Buckets (11-8)
An eight-loss team knocked off a one-loss team in last year’s playoffs, as Josh’s So Buckets handily dispatched Russell Conference juggernaut Chunky Monkeys in RD1. Unfortunately, Buckets was denied a Finals showing by Young Gunn’s but buoyed by last year’s playoff victory — a first for the franchise — Kyrie and Co. are looking to continue their torrid 4-1 finish to 2017. The big news is that Irving is now in Boston, and it’s likely his numbers will increase across the board. Rudy Gobert is a defensive anchor in the middle, and yeah, Joel Embiid could play more games this season. JOEL EMBIID! He puts up the same numbers as a normal player in half the minutes so if he can just be healthy for the fantasy playoffs, Buckets could take out anyone. Add in a nice rookie season by Dario Saric, the fantastic defense/offense switch from Myles Turner to CJ McCollum, plus DeMar DeRozan supposedly working on a three point shot, and this keeper core is insanely drool worthy.

Josh took the first round gamble on Jabari Parker too, for a stash, and that could add to this team’s continued success. We really like the all-around game of James Johnson, and it’s shocking that he’s thirty years old right? Rudy Gay could be a semi-steal on the wing and even if Emmanuel Mudiay never gets better, there’s a nice warm spot on the bench for him. Frank Kaminsky has some stretch potential and while we initially confused Jonathan Simmons with Jonathan Isaac, we now know the difference between the two Orlando players -- Simmons is the ex-Spur who specializes in huge chase down blocks. Overall this team is destined to do better than eleven wins, and we’re possibly looking at another division title for Buckets, which would be Josh’s third after a three year hiatus.

Young Gunn’s (14-5)
After four straight playoff appearances, two division titles, one Finals appearance, what else is there left for Young Gunn’s to do? It's ring or bust every year for them. We say this year after year, but it’s true: Thien has never had a losing season, ever! And while conspiracy theorists suspected that Thien’s media silence was perhaps not all above board, well, the truth is that Thien is just an assassin: quiet and deadly. Young Gunn's return with the powerful trio of John Wall, Damian Lillard, and DeMarcus Cousins. Julius Randle will be given more time to express his talent, and Young Gunn’s is going even more all in by trading pre-draft for Carmelo Anthony, which will bolster this team’s championship hopes. Oh yeah, sixth keeper Gary Harris is looking like a possible breakout candidate too, and clearly an upgrade over last year’s last keeper, Jordan Clarkson.

But Thien isn’t quite pushing all their chips to the center of the table as they went for youth in RD1&2 of this year’s draft, taking two rookies: Knicks point guard Frank Ntilikina and Bulls shooter Lauri “Dirk 0.5” Markkanen. Their third round picks as forfeited in the Melo trade, and they went rookie again with Caleb Swanigan in RD4. Add in Jeremy Lamb, Ish Smith, and Justin Holiday (a late breaking RD6 trade with Cameltoe, again) and this draft looks at odds with Thien’s title push. Then again, Wall, Lillard, and Cousins are all young so this could just be in line with building an even more sustainable franchise. Here’s hoping Young Gunn’s — a rare year where Thien hasn’t changed team names from one season to the next — can get the ring they’ve worked so hard towards.

Pre-Draft Trades 2018

Pretty quiet pre-draft period this year as many teams talked but only three deals happened. Of course, one of those involved future Hall of Famer Carmelo Anthony so I guess that's pretty big?

• ID#76: Team Thien receive Carmelo Anthony from Team Cameltoe in exchange for Thien's 2018 RD3
• ID#77: Buffy receive Serge Ibaka, 2018 RD3, 2018 RD4 from Chunky Monkeys in exchange for Buffy 2018 RD2, 2018 RD5
• ID#78: Team Thien receive Cameltoe 2018 RD6 in exchange for Cameltoe's right to swap 2019 RD3 picks with Thien

New Owner: Cure for All?

As Jedi Knights walks out the door to pursue additional Force training, welcome Frank into the fold! An old fantasy basketball player from our middle school days, Frank still boasts about calling Hakeem Olajuwon’s dominance in the mid-90s fantasy scene. Of course, since then Frank has been more focused on football — not to mention the many years it took to become a doctor — and hasn’t kept up on all of the NBA’s intricacies. Well, it’s time to put that big brain to use as Frank has a big rebuild job ahead of him!

Without the benefit of a two team dispersal, similar to Snack Bears two years ago, Frank had to rely on the leftovers from Jedi Knights roster and non-keepers. As it turned out, not a single player on Knights was worth keeping around, as the likes of Patty Mills, Monta Ellis, Thaddeus Young, recent high draft picks Emmanuel Mudiay and Kris Dunn were dumped overboard. Oh but wait! Jeff Teague was one of the selected new keepers, and he’ll be the new face of the franchise.

As it turned out, Frank’s six man crew will be Jeff Teague, Jrue Holiday, Tim Hardaway Jr, Willie Cauley-Stein, Aaron Gordon, and Justise Winslow. With the 2017 #3 overall pick on the way, Frank wisely decided to draft (mostly) young and start fresh. Let’s see if our Chinese school / middle school quarterback can take ILConceived to the top! (Note: Frank was not born in Illinois but I guess he just wished he had been -- he's currently in Houston but from San Diego.) Let’s welcome Frank and see what he’s got in store for SlamNation!

Keepers: 2018

Draft Order 2018

2018 DRAFT ORDER

1. Jedi Knights (0-18-1)
2. Snack Bears (4-15)
3. Sager's Suits and Ties (4-15)
4. Team Cameltoe (7-12)
5. Funk Coalition (7-12)
6. LA Buffy (7-11-1)
7. Squirtle Squad (8-11)
8. Swamp Dragons (10-9)
9. Fob Stars (9-10)
10. Another Bad Creation (9-10)
11. So Buckets (11-8)
12. Team Spade (12-7)
13. Fat Jubas (13-5-1)
14. Young Gunn's (14-5)
15. Chunky Monkeys (18-1) *Runner up
16. Sour Snails (17-1-1) *Champion

Toilet Bowl winner: Swamp Dragons
Toilet Bowl runner-up: Squirtle Squad

Tie breakers:

• 4-15: Snack Bears and Sager's Suits and Ties had no regular season H2H so we move on to Most Categories won for the season -- via the power ranking rules. Sager's had 70 total categories won, while Snack had 68. Higher pick goes to Snack for less "power."
• 7-12: Team Cameltoe lost to Funk Coalition H2H, WK10. Higher pick to Cameltoe.
• 9-10: Fob Stars versus Another Bad Creation: Tied 1-1 for H2H so also moving on to Most Categories won for the season -- despite ABC winning a division. ABC won 89 categories to Fob Stars' 82. So higher pick goes to Fob. [See results]

2017 Championship: Triple Threat!

Every dynasty needs a three-peat to become official and here we are: Sour Snails is SlamNation’s first undisputed dynasty. I know I know, old news, as Sour Snails has been our most successful franchise ever, but slapping up back-to-back-to-back championships may take awhile to equal and Trieu’s team is showing no signs of slowing down.

I mean, when you have the balls to trade away four core players, lose Kevin Durant after one game, AND win the title? Wow. Plus Snails was semi-vulnerable this season as they actually lost ag ame and tied a game this year, which was a downgrade after an undefeated 2016 campaign. At least the championship game was a bit closer than anyone anticipated, with brother Thien’s Young Gunn’s really pushing Sour Snails to their limit before eventually falling 5-3-1. Heading into Sunday’s games, both percentage categories were still tight and 3PT, REB, STL, and PTS were up for grabs.

But then Chef Curry came to the rescue. During last Finals’ close matchup, Curry hit nine 3PT on a Sunday evening as part of the celebration, having already secured the title earlier that afternoon. This time out, Snails needed Curry’s nine threes (again!) and 42 PTS to help secure the victory. C’mon Steph, give SlamNation a break eh? And there were a lot of other heroes for Snails too. Without Durant in play, depth guys like Rishaun Holmes (15.3 PTS, 7 REB, 57.1 FG%) and Nerlens Noel (9 STLs total) were crucial in fending off Young Gunn’s.

Thien’s team put up quite a fight behind John Wall, a monstrous DeMarcus Cousins week (although he missed a game, which might have been the difference), and two 31 point outings from Damian Lillard. And to be honest, a Sunday injury to Jameer Nelson could have also been crucial as Nelson was playing quite well recently. So yeah, Brother Bowl II was much closer than the first one, but still not quite enough.

In the end, the game came down to literally Steph Curry versus John Wall head-to-head in NBA and fantasy, and Wall came up short by shooting poorly and not managing to get two steals, thus sealing Young Gunn’s fate. Oh right, it also helped that all of Snails’ big guns came out on Sunday, with Steph dropping the aforementioned 42 PTS, 9 3PT, 68.2 FG%, and Jimmy Butler -- 39 PTS, 53.8 FG% -- and Brook Lopez -- 29 PTS, 60.0 FG%, 2 STL -- coming through in a huge way. All in all, it was a valiant effort from Thien, who came up just a little bit short in a nail-biter.

So there it is, our three-peat champions: Sour Snails!

How did all those new acquisitions work out for GM Trieu, minus the Durant injury? Well, pretty damn well I’d say! Mike Conley ended up posting 26.5 PTS, 8.25 AST, 3.3 3PT on the week, second to only Steph in those categories. Noel has been very up and down since he was acquired but he came through with a huge week of STL to get the category tie. And Brook Lopez was stellar in his four games, including dropping in 8 3PT on the week. It truly was a team effort wasn’t it?

And we haven’t even mentioned the one game cameos from Avery Bradley (12 PTS, 10 REB, 2 STL) and Gorgui Dieng (19 PTS, 7 REB, 2 3PT) which helped keep Gunn’s at bay. And it could be argued that there's no way Snails would have won FG% if they still had Russell Westbrook on the team. Then again, all those triple doubles might have helped just a little...

We were going to recap all of Trieu's tremendous championship moves but those are already in the history books. The question is what will happen next as he moves forward. Rumors are that he agreed to a post-championship deal to dump Durant for a box of saltines and Derrick Rose... Now that would be a team blowing up exercise wouldn't it?!

Anyway, with the best team in the league, the best keepers in the league, the best historical record in the league, and now four total titles, it’s really time for the rest of SlamNation to come together to fend off the threat of a four-peat! We know the 2015 trade of Jimmy Butler really started Trieu's dominance, so maybe it's time to give him back?!? Congrats Trieu, and may your team never reach the victory podium again!

2017 Toilet Bowl: Swamp Kings

Well, it looks like the Swamp Dragons rebuild is about to approach finished! With a Toilet Bowl win, Eddie will get to select from a bumper crop of rookies next season and his team is exactly in need of a star point guard. Sure, Dennis Schroder is a nice piece but he’s not going to be a franchise cornerstone, not like a Markelle Fultz or Lonzo Ball! We predicted a romp through the consolidation tournament for Swamp Dragons and that’s exactly what happened, even as they had three less GP than their opponent, Squirtle Squad.

Paul George balled out with 32.0 PTS, 6.5 REB, 4.8 AST, 2.0 STL, and an astonishing 4.5 3PT during the week. Helped by fantastic weeks from Nikola Jokic and Andrew Wiggins, this team didn’t even really need extra contributions, which was nice because not only was Jabari Parker unavailable on IR, Reggie Jackson and Robert Covington were unavailable too. Plus, Jusuf Nurkic only logged one game while Malcolm Brogdon was similarly hurt. So yeah, Swamp Dragons basically won the #1 pick with half a squad, and that doesn’t bode well for their foes next year as they’ll get even better with a top pick. Congrats Eddie!

As for Squirtle Squad, a runner-up showing in Toilet Bowl is still the most success they’ve had in a post-season (albeit the losing side). And what a year to do it, as there are many franchise quality players to choose from, and if they get Fultz or Ball, they’ll add a tremendous piece to their championship hopes. While Giannis Antetokounmpo, Goran Dragic, and Nikola Vucevic tried their best to keep pace, the young Squirtles just couldn’t keep up with Swamp. That’s okay though as Brian has stocked his roster with plenty of upside players and we’re looking for big things from them next year, especially armed with a delicious #2 2018 pick!

Finals Preview: 2017

#1 Sour Snails (17-1-1) vs #2 Young Gunn's (14-5)
Well well, here we go, Brother Bowl II! After a hard fought last couple of weeks — including one giant upset — we have Trieu and Thien facing off again. We last saw this matchup two years ago in 2015, with Trieu emerging from the week with the first of his back-to-back titles. Now it’s up to Thien to play for the safety of the league and stop his older brother from a threepeat!

But first, how did we get here? Well, for starters, Sour Snails had a pretty easy path to the Finals, even with Kevin Durant done for the season. He made short work of Fob Stars in RD1 and then dunked on Fat Jubas pretty easily with an incredibly efficient RD2 performance — behind 27.3 PTS, 7.0 REB, 10.8 AST, 2.3 STL, and 54.7 FG% from Jimmy Butler. Wowza! As for Thien, he was faced up with division rival So Buckets in his conference finals — after beating Team Spade by 1 STL in RD1 — and after a back and forth week, polished Josh off with nice outburst of 3PT and slightly lower TOs. Shout out to So Buckets though, who did the dirty work of dismembering top Russell seed Chunky Monkeys in RD1, using an incredible Kyrie Irving versus LeBron James matchup to pull out the tight win. But the upset magic faded out as this week wore on and So Buckets’ Finals dream ended.

So what are Young Gunn’s chances of taking down Sour Snails? Well, sadly, we’d have to say it’ll have to take an incredible upset for Thien to take his first championship. From what we can tell, they are likely going to lose both %s and STL/BLK. The good news is, they have the edge in 3PT and maybe PTS, and will have to fight hard in AST and TO to make this an even matchup. A lot will ride on DeMarcus Cousins’ health, as he could miss a game or two. But let’s not forget that this is one of the rare teams with enough firepower in the backcourt to keep up with Steph and Jimmy, as John Wall and Damian Lillard are both top guard options. Add in the firepower of Gary Harris and Jordan Clarkson and there’s a chance Young Gunn’s can match up against the three-headed monster of Curry, Butler, and Mike Conley.

Where Thien will really have to shine is with his big men though, as Cousins and Julius Randle are all he’s got going against Brook Lopez, Nerlens Noel, and Gorgui Dieng. On paper that’s an edge for Young Gunn’s but again, a lot will ride on Cousins. What Sour Snails has is versatility and depth on its side, with additional pieces like Avery Bradley, Richaun Holmes, and Tim Hardaway. It’s likely Al-Farouq Aminu and Jordan Crawford will both have to have great weeks for Thien to have a shot. And we really wish they had another piece inserted for the injured Rudy Gay, but it’s hard to wish for better health when Snails is down Durant and Dion Waiters.

In short, we’re projecting a 5-4 win for Snails, but a win in REB or STL could maybe garner us the upset all of SlamNation is waiting. We won’t mince words here, all the other fifteen SlamNation owners are rooting for Young Gunn’s, and hoping for a major upset!

Toilet Bowl Preview: 2017

#1 Swamp Dragons (10-9) vs #1 Squirtle Squad (8-11)
Well, this is interesting, we haven’t had the top Toilet Bowl seeds advance to the Toilet Bowl finals since 2014, when Chunky Monkeys and Fat Jubas made it to the end game, but both the #1 and #2 two picks were slated for Chunky’s anyway. Aside from that, we’ve never had a meaningful Toilet Bowl finals that featured the best two losers. So, we’re looking at the best Toilet Bowl matchup ever! Yes!

And to be honest, this Toilet Bowl has been pretty drama free, unless you count a paper upset in RD1 by Team Cameltoe over Funk Coalition. Yeah, Squirtles survived a late surge by Buffy this past Sunday but Swamp Dragons had no problems dispatching Snack Bears and then Cameltoe on the way to Eddie’s first Toilet Bowl finals — in three tries. And actually, this is Squirtle Squad’s first Toilet Bowl finals too, after getting upended in RD2 in his past three attempts (2010, 2011, 2016). That’s gotta be exciting news for both teams as this 2017-8 NBA draft is largely seen as a two man pay day, with Markelle Fultz and Lonzo Ball earmarked as franchise changers.

So it's likely this could be the last Toilet Bowl both franchises see in awhile, as Squirtles and Swampies are more often in the post-season than not, and with a huge upgrade at the point guard position for both coming up, they could be on the verge of ascending into contender status. Let’s see who might win this matchup and get the right to choose between Fultz and Ball!

We think Swamp has the an advantage across most of the categories but FG%, 3PT, STL, BLK, and TOs are too tough to call. It’s likely Eddie’s team will take PTS and REB but no sure thing either. It’s possible Squirtles is a little underpowered right now, as his young team has already done its job getting to the final game, but Giannis Antetokounmpo can do anything so an upset isn’t out of the question. With Nicola Vucevic and rookies Marquese Chriss and Caris LeVert coming on, Giannis could have some extra help. Then again, we haven’t seen a loaded Toilet Bowl team like Swamp Dragons in awhile. I mean, they have a winning record for one, and they boast Paul George, Jusuf Nurkic, Andrew Wiggins, and a slew of other impressive pieces. We said they were the heavy favorites coming into the Toilet Bowl — even sans Jabari Parker — and we’re sticking to that story.

We’re thinking Swamps will take this game but Squirtles have an outside chance of finally pulling an upset of his own. Best luck to both teams!

RD1 Previews: 2017

Russell Conference
#1 Chunky Monkeys (18-1) vs #4 So Buckets (11-8)
After ripping through the regular season and earning their first "most regular season wins" honor, Chunky Monkeys is poised to roll into the post-season and capture their first title. Despite declining to turn the injured Kyle Lowry into some playoff contributors, this is still the best team on paper. MVP candidates James Harden and LeBron James are flanked by a bevy of awesome talent, and with the surprising Seth Curry — 18.0 PTS, 2.8 3PT, 53.4 FG% over his last month — stepping in as the starter alongside Harden, Evan’s team is ready to rock. Who can stop them? Well, there’s the back-to-back champs in the other conference but if Monkeys can handle their business for the next few weeks, we’re looking at a juggernaut of a title matchup. Let’s hope Evan’s recent two week trip to New Zealand was an early celebration for his first SlamNation championship!

After two seasons out of the playoffs, So Buckets is back in contention and will need every ounce of their composure to knock off a heavy favorite. A three week swoon in WK13-15 is over and Buckets is 3-1 heading into the post-season. They’re going to need a heavy dose of Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, and early season trade acquisition CJ McCollum to pull off an upset but that stellar backcourt has Rudy Gobert and rookie sensation Dario Saric peaking at just the right time. It’s a shame Joel Embiid won’t be around to test Monkeys but that doesn’t mean miracles can’t happen. Let’s see if Josh can pilot his underdogs to a stunning first round victory!

#2 Young Gunn's (14-5) #3 Team Spade (12-7) 
After securing his second straight Voltron title and fourth straight post-season appearance, Thien’s team is looking for more this year. They’ve been a little erratic to end the season — losing to two Toilet Bowl teams — but John Wall, Damian Lillard, and DeMarcus Cousins form a formidable trio to face off against any foe. There were rumors that the injured Rudy Gay was on the block for playoff assets but that didn’t come to pass, and now Julius Randle will be counted on to really step up over the next few weeks. Regular season wins are now old hat for Young Gunn’s and they’ll have to advance far into the playoffs to call this season a success. We believe!

After an erratic start to the year, last year's Thundercats division winner Spade slowly gained steam, going 9-2 over the last three months to cement their contender status. Of course, sources report that owner Randall all but conceded his title hopes when Kevin Love went down but now it looks like Love may return soon, although he won’t be eligible for postseason play as he’s currently on IR. With the additional news that Eric Bledsoe has been shut down for the season, it looks like Spade will have to pack up their bags and live to contend next year, despite the MVP season put forth by Kawhi Leonard. It’s unlikely last year’s Finals participant will return to the big game again but anything can happen, can’t it?!

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Sour Snails (17-1-1) vs #4 Fob Stars (9-10)
Our defending two-time champs, and undisputed best SlamNation franchise ever, reshaped four of their keepers heading down the homestretch and then was sideswiped by new acquisition Kevin Durant’s injury. Was it a sign of things to come when Sour Snails tied their last regular season game? Or do they still have enough firepower to advance to a proper title defense? While we can’t count out any team led by Steph Curry, Jimmy Butler, and the rest of this deep crew, it’s hard to see Trieu waltzing to a three-peat without Durant. Then again, until someone takes out the champs, nothing’s off the table! There seems to be some upset potential here as Curry and Butler are shooting 40.7 FG% and 37.4 FG% over their past month of games, so maybe SlamNation’s resident king is on the verge of taking a playoff loss? Note: Snails are 70-4-2 over their past four seasons…

Of course, the upset won’t likely happen in the first round as it was revealed this week that Coach Jimmy didn’t even realize the playoffs had started until mid-week. For the Fob Stars, returning to the playoffs again was an achievement — even with a sub-0.500 record — but going in mentally unprepared against Snails is not a good sign. The mid-season trade that brought in DeAndre Jordan and Ricky Rubio has paid dividends, especially with Rubio averaging 14.0 PTS, 11.2 AST, 1.9 STL, 44.4 FG% over the past month, but what else can the supporting cast do to help Kemba Walker pull off a miraculous win? We’re gonna go ahead and say “nothing."

#2 Another Bad Creation (9-10) vs #3 Fat Jubas (13-5-1)
I’m not sure we’ve ever had a sub-0.500 division winner before but ABC has somehow managed to take the Transformers crown — making two in a row — with a measly nine wins. That earns them a higher seed due to our playoff matrix but they’re definitely the underdogs in this matchup. Then again, what is logic to Russell Westbrook, he of the 36.4 PTS, 11.2 REB, 11.2 AST, 2.9 3PT, 2.0 STL over his past month of games?! After trading away long-time franchise cornerstone Kevin Durant, GM Oliver has to be giddy to have acquired a healthy Westbrook in return. And it looks like second banana LaMarcus Aldridge will return to the court after a heart scare, and this well balanced squad could pull it all together for an “upset.” Nobody wants to see Westbrook go home so soon after his spectacular season so we’ll hope he can single-handedly power ABC to a playoff victory, which would be their first since 2011.

If there’s a team with a realistic shot at taking down Sour Snails and heading to the Finals, it’s Fat Jubas. They already tied them in WK19 and payback is necessary after getting bounced by Snails in Jubas’ last three playoff appearances — and four post-season losses to them overall. Eric’s team is riding a 4-0-1 streak to end the season and if they can pull off a paper upset of ABC, they’ll be on their way to another shot at the defending champs. But in order for them to take Trieu down, Chris Paul will have to play out of his mind, while receiving support from Gordon Hayward, high scoring Harrison Barnes, and maybe Phoenix surprises TJ Warren and rookie Tyler Ulis, both of whom will be given a lot of minutes down the stretch. Eric made two trades this season — for Pau Gasol and Myles Turner — and the payoff from their added depth begins now.

Note: This year's Chamberlain Conference post-season teams are exactly the same as last year's, down to the same seed slots!

Toilet Bowl RD1: 2017

Chamberlain Conference
#1 Squirtle Squad (8-11) vs #4 Jedi Knights (0-18-1)
Two straight years out of the playoffs and nothing to show for it. Squirtles improved on their three win season last year but still find themselves in the Toilet Bowl. Of course, they were also only one win away from a division title, as the almighty Transformers division took a nosedive this season. A top finish in the Toilet Bowl would be huge for Brian this season, as they could add another transformative piece next to Giannis Antetokounmpo, who had a true breakout superstar season. If things go well, a young led rebuild quick catapult Squirtle Squad right back into the post-season next year.

As for Jedi Knights, we’re here to report that they’ve officially hit a nadir: a winless season. A SlamNation first, and let's hope only. But hey, at least they got a tie! But really, after a one-win season in 2016, we thought Jedis would step it up a little. Instead they’ve fallen further into disarray and feature a roster that is basically devoid of talent. Unless you think Kris Dunn or Emmanuel Mudiay are just reeeaaally late bloomers… We wish we could say that Chris could revive his franchise’s sad state of affairs this season but we think he’s headed for another Toilet Bowl loss, and another #3 overall draft pick. Where’s the Pistons’ Isiah Thomas, should this moribund franchise hire a former local legend to right the ship?! Oh wait, maybe not Isiah. Dumars? Oh wait. Bill Laimbeer?

#2 LA Buffy (7-11-1) vs #3 Sager's Suits and Ties (4-15)
It’s now been four long years out of the post-season for Buffy but it’s likely they’ve found some hope heading into another Toilet Bowl. Isaiah Thomas has been an offensive monster, Khris Middleton is back and playing well post-injury, and the Toilet Bowl field should be weak enough for Roger to have a good shot at another high draft pick. With back-to-back top two picks, Buffy could be well on their way to playoff contention again.

Welp, it wasn’t an easy season for rookie owner Matt but at least he finished up his first season in SlamNation with a 2-2 record, including beating two eventual playoff teams. That’s progress! Can Sager’s Suits and Ties follow up their late season surge with a Toilet Bowl win or two? It’s quite possible we’re looking at a Chamberlain dark horse here, as this team still boasts a strong trio of Draymond Green, Blake Griffin, and Bradley Beal. If this roster can stay healthy for a month, we’re looking at a powerful squad. And if Sager can get a top pick this season, it would completely turn around how successful their inaugural year was. Let’s hope it happens!

Russell Conference
#1 Swamp Dragons (10-9) vs #4 Snack Bears (4-15)
Rumor has it that the ten-win Dragons took a tank job in their last week to fall into the Toilet Bowl — for the third consecutive time, after going the last two seasons with ten wins total. Denying all allegations and promising only wins the rest of the way, GM Eddie has done a masterful job going from “the team that traded away LeBron” to “intriguing team on the rise.” If the Swampies don’t get into the playoffs next year behind Nikola Jokic and crew, our league is launching an investigation. But seriously, this team is the clear Russell Conference favorite to get into the Toilet Bowl finals, even with Jabari Parker on injured reserve. Between Jokic, Paul George, Andrew Wiggins, Dennis Schroder, rejuvenated Jusuf Nurkic, possible R.O.Y. Malcolm Brogdon, Robert Covington, Reggie Jackson, plus two “who the hell are they!?” guys in Alan Williams and Willy Hernangomez playing well, we don’t see anyone stopping this Toilet Bowl juggernaut.

Although, if you want to slay juggernauts, Snack Bears is the team! Brandon’s brand of big ball has already dealt Chunky Monkeys their lone loss in WK16 — plus beat Swamp Dragons the weak prior — and there’s that fearsome frontline trio of Andre Drummond, Dwight Howard, and Kristaps Porzingiz to contend with. What Snack Bears lack in balance they make up for in solid strengths, and with the roster fully finally healthy, Snack could be set to surprise in their first Toilet Bowl appearance after last year's surprise playoff appearance as a rookie owner. After joining in on a mega-deal midseason designed to get them into the Toilet Bowl finals, this is the week for Brandon to show what his redesigned team is capable of.

#2 Funk Coalition (7-12) vs #3 Team Cameltoe (7-12)
A few team altering trades this season hasn’t exactly moved Funk’s W-L record, as they stumbled down the stretch winning only one game out of their last five. But hey, Funk Coalition has been in this position before, entering the Toilet Bowl weak as a kitten but then surging to eventual victory — twice in a row. Of course, Jon reshaped his roster to no longer play big ball and that now leaves his Karl-Anthony Towns-led team to contend against traditional matchups. Can the hot-and-cold play of Klay Thompson, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, and D’Angelo Russell sustain another Toilet Bowl drive? We have our doubts. Oh where art thou 2017 #1 draft pick Ben Simmons?!

Ready to capitalize on a paper upset would be Team Cameltoe, featuring our other rookie owner, Felipe. Of course, Cameltoe has also slid into the Toilet Bowl by going 1-5 down the stretch, but now they’re mostly healthy and is coming off a huge mid-season trade of their own -- acquiring Hassan Whiteside and Darren Collison. There’s plenty of offense on this team with Anthony Davis, Carmelo Anthony, Eric Gordon, Derrick Rose, and even Wilson Chandler around. With Elfrid Payton suddenly throwing triple-doubles like he's Rondo-lite, Cameltoe may be the nominal underdog in this matchup but more rightfully the favored team to advance.

Playoff & Toilet Bowl Seedings: 2017

PLAYOFFS
  *= division winner
Chamberlain Conference
#1 Sour Snails (17-1-1)*
#2 Another Bad Creation (9-10)*
#3 Fat Jubas (13-5-1)
#4 Fob Stars (9-10)

Russell Conference
#1 Chunky Monkeys (18-1)*
#2 Young Gunn's (14-5)*
#3 Team Spade (12-7)
#4 So Buckets (11-8)


TOILET BOWL
Chamberlain Conference
#1 Squirtle Squad (8-11)
#2 LA Buffy (7-11-1)
#3 Sager's Suits and Ties (4-15)
#4 Jedi Knights (0-18-1)

Russell Conference
#1 Swamp Dragons (10-9)
#2 Funk Coalition (7-12)
#3 Team Cameltoe (7-12)
#4 Snack Bears (4-15)


Tie-Breakers

• Funk Coalition vs Team Cameltoe: Funk won H2H matchup versus Cameltoe in WK10.

Final Standings 2017

(Full version)

Durant vs Westbrook...

Will the huge trades ever stop coming? Let’s hope not! In recent days Trieu has moved four of his top six guys in the midst of a title defense and it’s arguable but they probably got even better. With Chunky Monkey’s Kyle Lowry out for the regular season, and Kevin Love of Team Spade out for a similar amount of time, it’s looking like the Russell Conference is wide open now too. (Watch Against All Odds as they weigh some potential moves to conquer the conference.)

Trade ID#74: 

• Sour Snails receive Kevin Durant
• Another Bad Creation receive Russell Westbrook and TJ McConnell

We can debate Kevin Durant versus Russell Westbrook for days but the final story is that they are NBA MVP contenders and top-five fantasy assets. For the year, Westbrook and Durant are averaging:

• Westbrook: 31.0 PTS, 10.6 REB, 10.3 AST, 2.2 3PT, 1.6 STL, 0.4 BLK, 5.6 TO with 42.1 FG% (23.9 FGA) and 83.1 FT% (10.5 FTA) 
• Durant: 25.8 PTS, 8.4 REB, 4.9 AST, 1.9 3PT, 1.1 STL, 1.7 BLK, 2.3 TO with 53.8 FG% (16.9 FGA) and 87.6 FT% (6.4 FTA)

Both are obviously amazing but for their respective new teams, the swap makes perfect fits. The Snails were trying to get more efficient and boost their defensive stats, and aside from having an infallible line, Durant is averaging a shocking 1.7 BLK this season. With this trade Trieu’s team should get a major boost in FG% and BLK, not to mention a big drop in TOs. The AST he’ll lose from Westbrook will be replaced by the recently acquired Mike Conley and now Durant will play next to Brook Lopez to form an insanely good 3PT big man duo.

Overall, the three trades Trieu made resulted in Russell Westbrook, Hassan Whiteside, Klay Thompson, Darren Collison, and TJ McConnell going out the door for Kevin Durant, Brook Lopez, Mike Conley, and Nerlens Noel. Team those four up with Stephen Curry and Jimmy Butler -- along with Avery Bradley, Dion Waiters, Gorgui Dieng -- and we don’t see any weaknesses. We think Snails are back in line as favorites to three-peat...

As for Westbrook’s new team, Another Bad Creation hasn’t participated in a player-on-player trade since 2011 (they’ve done three pre-draft draft pick for keepers trades), when they traded away Russell Westbrook for LaMarcus Aldridge and Rodney Stuckey. And now they’ve got Russell back, a better than ever Russell at that.

Even though we thought we’d never live to see the day Oliver parted ways with 2010 #4 overall Kevin Durant — our reset season — the offer was just too good to pass up. And it makes sense. With ABC vying for a division crown but caught in a 2-7 losing streak, change was finally in order. And bringing in a potentially historic triple-double player covers a lot of ground for a foundational player. Westbrook immediately moves in to lead Another Bad Creation in PTS, REB, AST, STL, and almost 3PT. With Russell unleashed in the backcourt, there’s now more balance for a team that has long suffered for lack of a point guard. Sure his FG% and TOs leave something to be desired but you don't get (a lot) of something for nothing.

Dwyane Wade will serve as Westbrook’s running mate while Aldridge, Dirk Nowitzki, Wesley Matthews, and Greg Monroe — RIP Jahlil Okafor's fantasy career — get an on-court seat to the Westbrook show. But let’s not overlook the cherry on top of this already made perfect sense one-on-one deal: TJ McConnell is back on the team also (just like we suggested) after he was cut earlier in the season and he’s been averaging a useful 9.1 PTS, 6.9 AST, 1.9 STL on 52.3 FG% over his past month of games. Clinging to one game lead over Squirtle Squad, ABC could have just made the mega-deal that will secure them the first back-to-back division title in Transformers history.

So, big congrats to both owners, and congrats to SlamNation for another league shattering trade!