Weekly: Dec 30

We’re officially right into the new year and the NBA is heating up! We had a wild WK11 too, as four top teams fell, as we not only had our lone undefeated team taken out, but that loss was delivered by our lone winless team! So let’s take a look at the four teams who took out Chunky Monkeys, Space Knockout aka Team Thien, Sour Snails, and Fat Jubas!

Another Bad Creation (1-10)
Losing LeBron James hurts hunh? Chunky Monkey’s depth was exposed as James only suited up for one game and even though James Harden and the duo of Larry Nance and Clint Capela did their best to keep it competitive, our previously winless team took down the defending champs!

It takes an absolute hero to take down Goliath and DJ Augustin -- who caught fire last week and delivered 23.3 PTS, 6.7 AST, 3.0 3PT, and 1.7 STL on 52.8 FG% -- was that hero! Throw in Russell Westbrook, LaMarcus Aldridge, and fantasy lynchpin TJ Warren and ABC clearly should be better than just a one-win team. While Enes Kanter has slowed, Kyle Anderson is back to filling up the stat sheet and along with Marcus Morris has really fleshed out the rotation behind Westbrook.

Over the past month, ABC has been just around league average in offensive, defensive, and efficiency rating, ranking eleventh, eighth, and ninth respectively. Their main weaknesses are in AST and BLK but everywhere else they are highly competitive. We highlighted Oliver as a bottom-three owner last week, but with this huge win, we anticipate ABC stepping their game up over the back half of the season. Watch out for this giant killer!

Fob Stars (5-6) (4-6-1)
Last we checked, Fob had just one win to their name and was headed for an early date with the Toilet Bowl. A month later and Jimmy’s team has now won four in a row three in a row and tied one, and took down Squirtle Squad and tied Sour Snails in back-to-back weeks. For the season, Fob Stars are only 13/14/10 in ODE rating, but over the past month they’ve been at 5/6/3, which translates to being the fourth best team in SlamNation over that time. Coach Jimmy has done a masterful job managing his team over the past month and some of his cold slow starters, aka Jamal Murray, are heating up.

Add in the return of John Collins to the lineup, the emergence of Point Justise, plus free agent hits on Jordan Clarkson and Thaddeus Young, and it looks like Damian Lillard finally has some running mates. (But seriously, Point Justise is at 17.0 PTS, 4.8 AST, 2.6 STL and even 1.8 3PT per game while shooting 50.0% from the field. Here’s hoping Goran Dragic never comes back!) A recent trade of Jonathan Isaac for Rudy Gay sacrificed some future for the now, but it didn’t look like Isaac was going to make the keeper cut anyway.

Suddenly this team of youngish veterans looks like it’s ready to win now and if Jimmy can pull off even one win against Team Spade and So Buckets -- their next two opponents -- we’re comfortable saying that this once has-been will soon be a playoff contender. Great job Fob Stars!

[Edit: Wait, ESPN gave this matchup a 4-4-1 tie after the fact, so I guess Fob Stars is now 4-6-1, whoops.]

Team Spade (6-4-1)
Unlike the previous two teams, Spade hasn’t been a pushover that that rose to power, instead they’ve always had the promise of a title contender, and a great keeper core. But still, a win versus Team Thien makes the case even stronger, as Spade has now gone 3-1-1 after an uneven 0.500 start -- Spade won two games all of last season.

They took down Team Thien under a barrage of 3PT while winning both PTS and TOs, an impressive feat. Spencer Dinwiddie and Brook Lopez both dropped in ten-plus threes while Dinwiddie also added twenty-one assists on the week. Impressive stuff, even as Kevin Love and Will Barton have yet to see the floor for Spade and others remained injured last week.

So how high is this team's upside? Despite a low-ish GP and Moves number, Randall has used Kawhi Leonard, Devin Booker, and Danilo Gallinari to great effect while filling out the oft-injured roster with the likes of Dinwiddie, Monte Morris, and Bryn Forbes. While Spade has maintained their offensive and efficiency ratings, their ninth rated defense has fallen to fourteenth when taking into account just the past month’s numbers. That number should climb with Al Horford and Paul Millsap back on the court and there’s an intriguing WK14 matchup with Chunky Monkeys to see how good Spade can really be this this season.

So Buckets (6-4-1)
As we already covered Josh’s team in our last weekly, we’ll just briefly highlight how they took out Fat Jubas, delivering Eric just his third loss of the season. So Buckets would have won by even more categories as they lost by only one in both AST and BLK. The guard trio of Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, and CJ McCollum, plus the interior presence of Rudy Gobert and Noah Vonleh pushed the team to a big win. Buckets is now within one game of taking the Chamberlain Conference lead!

Owner Ratings

It’s been a year of coming up with ratings for everything, so why not come up with a management rating? It’s going to be: Games Played + Moves + Wins. I think there’s probably something to be said for Moves not necessarily being correlated to Games Played and Wins, but let’s just let it ride. This is all for run anyway right? Let’s take a look at each owner category.

[Google Sheet]

Games Played
Unquestionably the biggest correlation to GP is good coaching, right? After some early season mess ups with games limits, most every owner should now manage their team to maximum value. Take a look at our current Games Played through ten weeks.

Our top five coaches are Roger, Eddie, Trieu, Brian, and Thien, who lead the pack in GP management. However, there is a giant outlier here, as Buffy only has four wins despite being the best coached team. Every other top team in the top nine GP ratings are playing at a 0.500 or above clip. On the flip side, Spade is only thirteenth in GP but has five wins... Still there's little debate that a high GP is essential to winning, right?

Our average Games Played is 24.7 GP through ten weeks, with a high average of 26.1 for Buffy and a low of 21.0 for Cameltoe. Most everyone is within ten GP of the average except Randall, Jimmy, new owner David, and Felipe. Perhaps a review of the Weekly Games Cap Explainer? The bottom three coaches are all on the hot seat, as they’ve racked up a combined sixteen weeks of early GP violations. That’s 53% of the time. Jimmy has largely worked out his GP issues as he’s found his rhythm the past month, but David and Felipe are still hitting the game limit early most weeks.

Moves
I’ve been trying to figure out what ESPN means by “moves,” and it seems like it’s mostly an add/drop action, and possibly a trade. We haven’t had a trade yet all regular season so I can’t quite tell. Either way, I only started compiling stats since October 31st, so missed the first two weeks of the regular season. Since then, these are the top five general managers: Thien (41 moves), Eddie (11), Trieu (11), Brian (8), and Josh (8).

Making a lot of moves generally means lineup activity and wins, which proves to be true, as our top five general managers are a combined 30-17-3, for a 60% winning clip. The two outliers as far as few Moves to Wins correlation are Chunky Monkeys and Fat Jubas, who are currently a combined 18-2 overall, meaning they probably haven’t had to shift players around much as they are the current two best teams in SlamNation.

Every other GM has made at least three pickups since Oct 31st, except for Roger, Randall, Brandon, and David, who each have made none! While their zero Moves is not entirely accurate — each of them has made at least one pickup previous to Oct 31st — it is reflective of a lack of GM activity since the starting weeks of the season. These bottom four teams are a combined 15-24-1, which equates to a 0.375 winning percentage.

Is Moves a better indicator of winning? Looking this over, there could be a case made for the idea that good general managing is more important than coaching! Or wait, is a coach and general working hand-in-hand the best? Looks like both! But seriously guys, Thien has more moves, forty-one, than the bottom twelve teams combined. The rest of us need to work that free agent bin! In related news: who is Rodions Kurucs?!

Wins
Well, we know which teams are winning, but to break it down, our top eight teams have 53 wins combined, while our bottom eight have 25 wins. That means our so-far playoff teams at the midpoint of the regular season have 6.6 wins apiece, while our presumed Toilet Bowl participants are at 3.1 wins each.

Best Owner
So if we combine all three ratings — by ranking each of Games Played, Moves, Wins and then adding up the total — we get the following list of best owners so far this season: Eddie, Thien, Trieu, Brian, and Evan. Our number franchise, Swamp Dragons, features the second-best GP, second-best Moves, and a fourth-best Wins rating. Looks like Eddie is really out to make the playoffs this season!

The bottom five owners: Randall, Brandon, Felipe, Oliver, and David. C’mon guys, fantasy football is over. 2019 is around the corner. Let’s pick it up! Or wait, are people tanking for Zion?!? Remember that our new playoff/draft format is designed to discourage tanking!

Weekly: Dec 17

Here's a second look at our teams at the almost midpoint of our regular season, which is twenty weeks long. We'll take a look at some teams trending up, up, and up, and one coming way down...

Fat Jubas (7-2)
Coming off a nifty defensive effort in WK9, Jubas notched their fifth win in a row by dealing Sour Snails their third straight loss off a thrilling STL/BLK Sunday chase down. Last we checked, Jubas notched two poor GP weeks to start the season but now Coach Eric is humming with a full complement of games each week. Since then Jubas have only suffered defeats to Evan and Thien, the only two teams ranked ahead of them in Russell Conference.

Since a month ago, Jubas has pumped up their defense from sixth rated to third while their offense has gone from twelfth to eighth. On top of that, their efficiency rating has gone from slightly below average to just above. And they are ranked top-three in AST, BLK, STL, and TO. Dare we say that a recent catalyst has been Emmanuel Mudiay?! Or perhaps more likely, the return of Bogdan Bogdanovic into the lineup has helped juice the offense. Or maybe it’s been the Robert Covington effect, which has also helped juice Jrue Holiday’s defensive numbers? Or… There’s just a slew of talent on this team as Jubas’ near dominant defense is getting team-wide offensive support in just enough doses to be winning.

The next two weeks serve up Spade and So Buckets, the second and third best team in Chamberlain Conference, so Fat Jubas will really get a chance to see how they stack up to the rest of the SlamNation contenders this season. Fun fact: Chris Paul, Holiday, and Jeff Teague are all averaging over 8+ AST per game! And remember when we said Jubas was one of only three (now two) teams without a "gold" level guy? Seems to not matter!

So Buckets (5-3-1)
A month ago we warned: "So Buckets are likely even underperforming a bit at just 0.500… Watch out everyone, So Buckets could soon rise in their new Chamberlain conference digs.” Looks like the advanced numbers didn't lie as Josh’s team has gone 3-1-1 since then, and that one loss was only because Josh was at the hospital welcoming his new baby to the world. So congrats to Josh on his firstborn! 👶

His fantasy basketball baby has been stellar as well, with past month ODE ratings of second-ranked offense, first-ranked defense and first-ranked efficiency. So Buckets have improved upon their previous ODE 9/2/5 splits by quite a bit and is now the top rated team in SlamNation. Just one game out of the Chamberlain lead — they tied with current conference leader Squirtles in WK7 — it’s only a matter of time until Buckets emerge atop the charts.

This recent burst hasn’t been powered by new faces either, even if Noah Vonleh’s emergence as a legitimate fantasy asset with 9.5 PTS, 8.5 REB, 1+ 3PT/STL/BLK has helped Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert on the frontlines while the offense-first rest of the team continue to thrive, led by the four guard lineup of Kyrie Irving, CJ McCollum, DeMar DeRozan, and Derrick Rose. It’s just all the same names playing well together and staying healthy!

The lone dark spot on the roster is the recent demotion of Jabari Parker by the Bulls — or maybe Dwight Howard’s continued health issues — but frankly, Buckets doesn’t need Jabari much as they are already leading the league in PTS, FG%, and REB, aka Jabari’s main contributions. Our next prediction: So Buckets are about to rip off a proper win streak and they’ll be the top Chamberlain team heading into All-Star break! [Editor: Congrats again on a baby Josh, and thanks for giving Funk a very not deserved win that week, woohoo!]

Sour Snails (5-4)
We didn’t expect to have to check in on Snails again for awhile as they started off 4-1 and seemingly restocked their roster to ridiculous depths. Any worries for another dominant season by Snails has been swept away though as they’ve lose three in a row — albeit to three strong teams in Spade, Swamp Dragons, and Fat Jubas. So who are the real 2019 Snails? Are they the world-beaters who are still rated 2/1/1 in ODE on the season or do the details tell a different story?

Snails have dipped to fifth in offense and fourth in efficiency over the past month, some of the blame can be attributed to Steph Curry missing some games, the loss of Caris LeVert, or the slight regression that was coming Kemba Walker’s way after a blazing hot start — not to mention Nemanja Bjelica’s reduced role. But still, a lineup with Curry, Kevin Durant, Kemba, Tobias Harris, plus Julius Randle and Pascal Siakam should seem better than fifth on offense? Bear in mind, that is still a very good SlamNation offense but we’re just used to better from this powerhouse Snails team.

More importantly, the bottom has dropped out on Snails’ defense as they are rated twelfth for the past month, which is very concerning and the real root of their recent decline. The duo of JaVale McGee and Montrezl Harrell are still pretty great at rim protection but it looks like Nerlens Noel is getting a full shot at helping in BLK, where Snails is ranked just thirteenth after being second overall just a month ago. Similar to Noel, Marcus Smart has been brought in as a defensive specialist, despite his many warts, to take over the LeVert role at shooting guard — GM Trieu elected not to make a move there. With a WK10 matchup against a 7-2 Thien team, we could soon be seeing a winless month for Snails, who woulda thought!

Note: Rumors are that Isaiah Thomas is nearing a return and we’re curious what he’ll add to Snails and the Nuggets.


WK9 Highlights:

• A 21/21 GP capped off battle between Hilt the Stilt and Cameltoe ended up with new owner Dave taking the win. The better stat might be Hilt’s six GP maxed out games so far this season to Cameltoe’s five, as both Dave and Felipe struggle to maximize their rotations.
• On the surface, it looked like Spade gifted a tie to Swamp Dragons in WK9 but their 20 GP week was largely due to injury as they had Kevin Love, Paul Millsap, Al Horford, and Devin Booker all out last week — not to mention still injured Will Barton. Seen in that light, Spade might have been lucky to pull out a tie despite being five games down.
• Our lone winless team, Another Bad Creation, had the slim lead heading into Sunday but Fobsters snuck out a win behind clutch free throw shooting by Jamal Murray, Jordan Clarkson, and Rondae Hollis-Jefferson. Plus a timely twenty-nine point explosion by John Collins, who is back to breakout status after 23.3 PTS, 12.7 REB, and almost a three and a block per game over the past two weeks.

Weekly: Dec 3

We're here to take a look at our last three teams in the weekly series: welcome some of Russell Conference's worst teams!

Team Cameltoe (1-6)
No longer winless, Cameltoe got their first win versus Fob Stars this week despite only putting up 22 Games Played. In fact we’re not sure if Coach Felipe has been concentrating on football — he’s 7-5 and one above me in playoff positioning in our sixteen teamer — but it’s been three capped out early weeks for Cameltoe plus no GP of over twenty-three. But a first win is a first win!

Of course, Cameltoe could also just be waiting for their young kids to grow up. Prize rookie Marvin Bagley III, taken RD1.5, has been getting more minutes and very solid double-doubles now that the Kings finally give him steady minutes. Malik Monk, Josh Jackson, Harry Giles, and fellow rookie Michael Porter Jr. (on IR)  are all going to be key components for this team in future years but for a franchise that’s ranked near the bottom of the league in every category except blocks, that’s not much consolation.

We see holes all over the lineup, especially at point guard — although Darren Collison has been great of late — but there are some bright spots too. Buddy Hield has fully emerged as an offensive cornerstone while Anthony Davis and Hassan Whiteside still form one of the best big man combos in SlamNation. In fact, even with so few GP, this team is fourteenth in defensive rating based on a strong front line that now adds Bagley’s numbers. So congrats to Cameltoe for making it out of the cellar and let’s see if they can go back-to-back next week!

Fob Stars (1-6)
As for the team Cameltoe beat, the outlook isn’t great. After three straight years of about 0.500 ball, and playoff appearances, Jimmy’s team could be headed for the cellar. Is this all because of the Dame for Kemba and Tobias trade? Well, um, maybe? Kemba and Tobias are both having career years and while Lillard has been fantastic, he’s gotten very little help from the rest of the Fobs. This team actually has a decent efficiency rating, at eighth, but suffers from offensive and defensive ratings of thirteenth and sixteenth respectively. And we sense a common theme here, as Coach Jimmy has also hit four weeks worth of capped out games. Could better management take them to a few more wins? The answer is a solid "probably not?"

Jamal Murray has been ice cold to start the season and hasn't quite broken out as hoped. Rumors were that there was an All-Star trade offer made for Murray but that was declined. Fellow pre-season hype kid John Collins just returned to the floor and is still rounding into shape. That all-defense draft we talked about in the season preview? Well, this is the worst defensive team in the league according to ODE so you tell me. There’s potential for some growth in-season as the veterans are mostly solid, but there’s no doubting that Fob is going to have to fight for some more victories this year as they wait for Murray and Collins to grow up.

One enormous bright spot: Fob Stars are tops in FT%, and that’s even with DeAndre Jordon on the team, as Jordan has been shooting 75.6 FT% on the season. Hack-a-DeAndre no more!

Funk Coalition (2-5)
Another Russell Conference bottom feeder, our breakthrough team of last year has settled down in dumps with only two wins — one coming against Fob Stars. Armed with Karl-Anthony Towns and Ben Simmons, GM Jon thought he was on the doorstep to contention and went all-in on veterans for his draft. Bad news: Funk ain’t ready. Although Lou Williams, Rudy Gay, and Trevor Ariza have done their part, the young core has faltered greatly. It could be argued that every one of Funk’s recent trades have also left them weaker, as Khris Middleton, D’Angelo Russell, and Andrew Wiggins were diluted into Gordon Hayward, Taurean Prince, and Nicolas Batum — plus the Wiggins trade meant Josh Richardson was lost to dispersal.

Is there room for Funk to turn it around? They are league average in efficiency rating but have poor offensive and defensive ratings, and they have no built-in low Games Played skewing like Cameltoe or Fob Stars. The only thing this team of Simmons and Towns and all wings can do well is rebound, but nearly everywhere else they are below average. That’s, um, not good. At least KAT has returned to joyful basketball and top fantasy production with Jimmy Butler gone from Minnesota. However it seems like a team that was on the cusp of contention last year could be headed right back to their most comfortable space: another Toilet Bowl.

WK7 Highlights:

• Spade take down Sour Snails despite two less GP
• So Buckets and Squirtle Squad square off in Chamberlain and ended up with 2019’s first tie
• IL Conceived with a come-from-behind win versus Another Bad Creation on Sunday
• Snack Bears also with a come-from-behind win versus Swamp Dragons, behind Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Bam Adebayo’s one block each
• Standings two months in:

Weekly: Nov 26

This week we're taking a look at four teams, including one of our remaining undefeated squads and two of our recent dispersal squads.

Chunky Monkeys (6-0)
With Team Thien falling in WK6, we have a lone undefeated team in Russell Conference: our defending champs! Despite efforts to move LeBron James, Monkeys still retain the services of the King and he’s been spectacular. And even though James Harden has suffered some fall off this season, he’s still fantasy gold. Plus, Kyle Lowry’s career best AST year is leading the league so that more than makes up for Harden’s dip.

While it could be argued that nobody on this team is playing at their best — excepting maybe Clint Capela — there is still just too much talent on this team for the league to handle. Even with depth sapped by the keeper drop of Marc Gasol for Kris Dunn, Monkeys still have had enough to fend off all challengers. Even RD1.16 rookie Collin Sexton has started to really step up on offense and will likely grade out as an absolute steal for Evan.

Monkeys sport a top-two rated offense to pair with a top-three defense, and while their efficiency rating is about league average, they are mainly only taking that hit due to a fourteenth ranked FT%. Monkeys are basically a punt free throws team but as long as they continue to be so highly ranked everywhere else, the wins will keep coming.

Overall, while the champs are definitely more vulnerable than last year — as the bottom of the lineup is a piecemeal effort between the likes of Joe Harris, Trey Lyles, Josh Hart, and Kelly Oubre — we’ll see if that affects them going forward though. Next week’s matchup against Silent Assassins will be one to watch as Evan and Thien jostle for the top slot in Russell Conference.

Team Spade (3-3)
Spade has already surpassed their win total from last season’s two wins, but of course, we always knew Spade had the goods as they were mostly just injured last year. This season, Kawhi Leonard is back, as is Paul Millsap, and despite the still missing Kevin Love being out — plus Will Barton’s absence — Spade has emerged as a possible playoff contender in their new conference.

Truly one of the stranger category teams around, Spade is strong in efficiency with a top-four rating there, highlighted by excellent FG/FT%. And while they score about league average, they really rely on their AST numbers to boost them up. The loss of Love has meant a big hole at rebounding but even still, their defensive rating is a respectable ninth.

The plug-ins this year has been a healthy Danilo Gallinari and Spencer Dinwiddie, who are both playing quite well and really help to keep the team afloat alongside the Leonard and Devin Booker twin stars configuration -- Booker is throwing up a delightful 7.3 assists per game by the way! Add in outside shooting bigs in Millsap, Al Horford, and Brook Lopez, and Spade truly plays a five out offense that has obviously elevated them back into the playoff picture. It looks like Randall’s set up for another veteran run to a title shot!

IL Conceived (1-5)
Torpedoed by an injury plagued week from Donovan Mitchell and Dennis Smith Jr, IL Conceived couldn't quite come from
behind on Sunday to notch their second win of the season versus Buffy, a team we lauded highly last week. It’s been a tough early schedule, with matchups against two of the best teams in the league and no softie opponents yet. IL Conceived is about to hit an easier patch of their schedule though, aside from a WK8 matchup against Chunky Monkeys — a revenge game for Frank ruining Evan’s undefeated season last year.

On paper, IL Conceived has not been great, as their offensive and efficiency ratings are at twelve and fourteen respectively over the past month. A worst in SlamNation FG% is the main culprit but this team also just can’t score, which is very different than last year’s offensive powerhouse.  Even a solid league average defensive rating can’t quite mask IL Conceived rebounding woes as well. So what’s the good news here?

Well, there are plenty! With a dispersal draft that reshuffled the deck, GM Frank picked up 2019 RD1.2 and 1.3, which translated into Luca Doncic and Jaren Jackson Jr. Both have already at least met preseason expectations with Doncic proving to be an offensive dynamo behind 18.8 PTS, 6.7 REB, 4.5 AST, 2.4 3PT, and 46.0 FG% while Jackson has started to solidify his defensive numbers with 3.3 combined BLK/STL, plus almost a three per game. Those two rookie finds alone make this IL Conceived season a win, but there’s also Miles Bridges, Aaron Holiday, Cedi Osman, OG Anunoby, and draft-and-stash Lonnie Walker lurking in development.

While the 4-D lineup of Donovan, Dennis, Draymond Green, and Dario Saric have been a little all over the place, the rock of the team has been Marc Gasol, who is definitely rejuvenated and looking for a winning situation. It’s possible that Gasol could be moved later to a contender, or IL Conceived could just ride the Spaniard to another deep Toilet Bowl run.

Hilt the Stilt (2-4)
As we look at our most recent addition to the league, it’s been tough to tell how David’s rookie SlamNation team has been as he’s racked up a month straight of early capped out games, plus no weeks of Games Played above 22 games. So taking that all into account, two wins is actually quite impressive — including a WK4 win versus Spade that confounded us with many less games played. It’s no surprise that with so few GP, Hilt the Stilt is ranked bottom three in just about every category, and sports a ODE rating of 15/7/14. But let’s look beyond the numbers at what’s actually on this roster.

It’s safe to say that David went six for six in his dispersal draft, with no duds taken — the jury is out on Jaylen Brown for Snack Bears and Dario Saric for IL Conceived. Franchise cornerstone Victor Oladipo has maintained his Most Improved Player numbers for the most part, and Andre Drummond has increased his defensive numbers even higher than last year. And while the league still continues to wait for a full on Aaron Gordon explosion, the high flier is still putting up a very nice all-around line.

Oh right, and I’m loathe to mention Josh Richardson here, who has been jumped an entire level and I’m so so bitter because I kept Andrew Wiggins instead of my favorite son Josh Richardson. Sigh. J-Rich is throwing up 20.7 PTS and plus numbers everywhere else. Double sigh. Add in the additional big man presence of Steven Adams and Jarrett Allen, and Hilt seemingly has it all...except a point guard. The rotating cast of Fred VanVleet, Terry Rozier, and Derrick White are unlikely to be the answer here and there are enough pieces here to go shopping for a short or long term solution. (Is this a Markelle Fultz reclamation destination?!)

Overall we’re not sure what to make of Hilt until the Games Played evens out to to something that maximizes their roster. Is this a playoff or Toilet Bowl team? We don’t know!

Weekly: Nov 18

This week we take a look at the two best ODE rated teams, plus the best managed team in the league!

Sour Snails (4-1)
Well, at least an undefeated season is off the table as Snails has already accrued a loss — albeit off a lineup error. Trieu’s team dipped to ten wins last season — and still made the Finals lest we forget — but any hopes of a continued slide are gone as Snails has revamped in a flash and came away with the best draft they’ve ever had. Long an Achilles heel, if there was one for this franchise, the draft usually doesn’t bring much onto Snails’ roster. Not this year! A combination of savvy drafting and free agent pickups have left Snails with their deepest lineup in awhile — and they had cut keeper Brook Lopez two weeks into the season.

2019 RD1 selection Caris LeVert may be injured as of now but he was a candidate for Most Improved Player and should remain keeper worthy. Then there’s RD4 Pascal Siakam, who is undergoing a breakout campaign of his own. Add in RD5 Laker wonder JaVale McGee and his early season barrage of REB/BLK and that’s three huge role players for this team via drat. Throw in the successful free agent pickups of Montrezl Harrell and Nemanja Bjelica and that’s a heck of a bench to surround Steph Curry and Kevin Durant. With pre-draft trade addition Kemba Walker playing at MVP levels, this team is cooking with hot fire as they are ODE rated first in offense and efficiency, while also being rated third for defense! Even with Curry dinged up, there’s too much talent on this team to perhaps ever lose a game again… Can they get into a Draymond-KD style fight or something?!?

Swamp Dragons (3-2)
Can Eddie finally make the playoffs after two Toilet Bowl winning seasons? So far their three wins have come at the expense of teams that are a combined 2-13 while their two losses have been to winning teams, so that’s not exactly confidence inducing. Then again, this team is number one rated in defense and efficiency, and is fourth in offensive rating. They are top three in five different categories and no lower than average everywhere else. Basically: this team should be trucking people.

Paul George and Nikola Jokic have mostly been spectacular while pre-draft trade acquisition Khris Middleton and 2019 number one overall rookie DeAndre Ayton (16.5 PTS, 10.5 REB, 2.8 AST, 61.1 FG%) have added the perfect amounts of wing and interior stats. There was a hole at point guard with the mystery of Markelle Fultz looking even worse, but the recent D’Angelo Russell acquisition looks like mostly a win and solidified the only spot in the lineup that was missing a plus piece. With the recent free agent acquisition of Trey Burke possibly about to pay dividends as well, Swamp Dragons are poised to go on a winning streak to vault them into contender status. A lineup of Russell, George, Middleton, Jokic, Ayton, and Jusuf Nurkic is quite deadly and balanced. So let’s get Eddie out of the Toilet Bowl and into the real tournament!

LA Buffy (2-3)
Having started the season off facing one of the toughest schedules in the league, it could be said that Buffy has overachieved with two wins already -- they had three all of last season. Coach Roger has clearly been pressing all the right buttons as he's maximized his lineups beautifully and Buffy leads SlamNation in Games Played. Buffy was a team that desperately needed an infusion of talent, as they ranked last in our keeper cores analysis, and it looks like they hit it big with 2019 RD1.4 Trae Young, who is averaging 16.2 PTS, 8.1 AST, and 1.3 3PT, albeit on 38.9 FG%. Still, Young at least gives this team another semi-star to pair with Klay Thompson.

The Brandon Ingram and Kyle Kuzma duo have been okay but not great, and any hopes of a further breakout may already have been buried under LeBron James’ suffocating brilliance. So what is driving this team to an efficiency rating of three and an offensive rating of seven? Welcome to the Nikola Mirotic and Domantas Sabonis show! The two big men are putting up double-doubles, good percentages from the field and from the line, and while they don’t offer much defense, their offensive contributions have been franchise changing.

With the recent return of Bojan Bogdanovic to Indiana, there’s another bomber added to a lineup that already shoots 3PT very well. There’s even some decent depth here as Malcolm Brogdon, Reggie Jackson, and Jeremy Lin are a merry-go-round of spare guards while Derrick Favors offers a light smattering of defense — although Buffy’s defensive rating is fourteenth so clearly the team is riding its strengths. Can all this offense drag Buffy out of the cellar, we think so!

Weekly: Nov 11

Continuing our early season series of looking at teams, next up: New Era, So Buckets, and Another Bad Creation. [ODE Rankings]

New Era (4-0)
Thien has blasted out of the gates by outdueling all four of his opponents by 6-3 scores in our opening month. It has been a soft schedule, to be sure, as the only 0.500 team they faced was Fat Jubas in WK2, but a win is a win is a win is a win! The injured list is down to just DeMarcus Cousins and Lauri Markkanen and this offense is still doing great things, rated sixth overall behind John Wall, Jimmy Butler, Mike Conley, Gary Harris, and the new life given to Andrew Wiggins.

New Era is dominant in AST, mostly due to the Wall and Conley pairing, and similarly top of the charts in STL with Wall and Butler both being above 2.3+ per game. In all that yields a top ten defense and the only weak point of this team is efficiency (rated fifteenth), as they are terrible at FG%. Without Cousins to man the middle, they are also last in REB, and this is basically a true small ball team for the time being — point guard Wall leads them in blocks.

At the moment, New Era is completely composed of second banana types, but gather enough of them and you have a team that is able to compete with anyone. Outside of Wall, nobody else on the roster is their NBA franchise’s number one guy but as we said, that’s okay! Thien’s squad will continue to roll as the regular season unfurls and we’re gonna see who can take a win off them!

So Buckets (2-2)
One of the rare teams to be top ten in all three ODE rankings, So Buckets has an outstanding second ranked defense to pair with fifth overall efficiency, plus a ninth rating in offense. They are top two in PTS, REB, and BLK, and a lot of that speaks to their twin tower combination of Joel Embiid and Rudy Gobert, who are combining for 44.1 PTS, 26.3 REB, and 4.6 BLK. With that incredible big man duo, the rest of the roster can do what it does best: score.

DeMar DeRozan is having a career year, Kyrie Irving is back to full effectiveness after early season struggles, and CJ McCollum is pouring in points as he always does. Add in the bewildering return of Derrick Rose and this team also sports extra all-offense guys like Jabari Parker and Harrison Barnes. Add all that up, plus the great coaching job Josh has been doing — second-most GP in the league so far — and So Buckets are likely even underperforming a bit at just 0.500. A WK7 matchup against an undefeated Squirtle Squad is something to look forward to and there’s a chance that Dwight Howard’s return will further juice that massive defensive front line. Watch out everyone, So Buckets could soon rise in their new Chamberlain conference digs!

Another Bad Creation (0-4)
Off to a winless start, three-time division defending champ ABC has put itself in an early season hole. To be fair they’ve faced off against a very tough schedule, with no first month opponent playing less than 0.500 ball. Still, a team looking to get out of the first round of the playoffs now face an uphill battle just get out of the cellar. Continued erratic health from Russell Westbrook won’t help matters either, and it’s down to just LaMarcus Aldridge as the offensive cornerstone. Marcus Morris and TJ Warren have been shooting the lights out but without Russ, this team is only rated fourteenth in offense.

And it’s not like their defense has been much better either, as they are rated fourteenth there too, along with a so-so efficiency rating of eleventh. New Pacer Tyreke Evans has completely fallen off and Elfrid Payton has also joined the IR list. Put it all together and the only bright spot of the season so far has been Enes Kanter, who is tossing in huge double-doubles as a starter or from the bench.

ABC is having trouble spacing the floor, spreading the ball around, and can’t defend the rim despite Aldridge’s best efforts. If ABC can’t right the ship soon — and get Westbrook back full time — Oliver may find himself back in the Toilet Bowl, a place he hasn’t been since 2015, when this franchise was still nicknamed Half Man Half ImAsian.

Introducing: O/D/E Ratings

The NBA has advanced analytics? We have Google Sheets! With the help of some handy dandy new formulas I’ve learned -- hello my friend RANK -- we’re here to introduce some new ratings! [Ratings Sheet]

• Offense (O): PTS, AST, 3PT
• Defense (D): REB, STL, BLK
• Efficiency (E): FG%, FT%, TO

While they aren’t a real measure of offensive, defense, and efficiency — it could be argued that our nine categories aren’t so rigid — I think three cats per rating seems very nice. So there we are! And now I'll be taking a look at three teams off to a nice start.

Snack Bears (2-1)
According to our new rating system, Snack Bears are third in offense, twelfth in defense, and fifth in efficiency. They’ve risen to such heights on the strength of Blake Griffin, Bradley Beal, Tim Hardaway Jr., and De’Aaron Fox. All four hover around twenty points per game, with Griffin showing out with 28.6 PTS so far. Sophomore point guard Fox has been a revelation, as he’s averaging 18.6 PTS, 7.6 AST, with 1.3 STL on 49.6 FG%. While he is still working on his threes and free throws, Fox has already overcome his disappointing rookie season to emerge as Sacramento’s unquestioned leader.

And then there’s Wendell Carter Jr., who is up at 11.9 PTS, 8.3 REB, and 2.0 BLK the past two weeks. It looks like the 2019 fifth overall pick is making great use of all the Chicago injuries. Fellow rookie Shai Gilgeous-Alexander has show flashes too, and is already playing twenty-five minutes a night. More bigs would help on the boards and protecting the rim but that’s an area that may have to wait for Kristaps Porzingis’ return. The only disappointment here? Jaylen Brown’s shaky start of the season. Other than that, the surprising Bears could challenge for a playoff spot again. Who would have thought out of the three dispersal teams, Snack would be the best?!

Fat Jubas (2-1)
In the game-of-the-week for WK3, Fat Jubas used a nice Sunday to fend off Swamp Dragons as the teams were headed into the final day with a 4-4-1 face off. All that adds up to a nice start for Jubas in their new conference.

Eric's team uses its sixth rated defense to offset their slightly below average offense and efficiency. Chris Paul and Jrue Holiday are backcourt thieves while Robert Covington, Joe Ingles, and Kent Bazemore are perfect 3-and-D swingmen. With Myles Turner and a resurgent Serge Ibaka as excellent run-fast big men, you can see why Jubas have such as strong defensive rating.

Of course that means the twelfth rated offense could use a little boost as CP3, Holiday, and Ibaka (putting up a likely unsustainable 18.1 PTS) are the leaders here. Strangely this team is also low on three pointers despite seemingly enough shooters. Perhaps that is due to Jubas’ first two weeks dialing up less than optimal GP, so that means this team could be even better than the numbers say!

Squirtle Squad (3-0)
Chamberlain’s lone undefeated team after taking out a game capped Sour Snails, Squirtles own the top spot for now and have an outstanding second rated offense paired with a top three rating in efficiency. Coming off three losing seasons, this is a nice start for them.

A free flowing offense allows Squirtles to use a team wide effort to distribute the ball -- six players averaging 4+ AST or more. Plus the spread offense surrounds Giannis Antetokounmpo with plenty of outside shooting. Pair that offensive efficiency with a good-enough league average defensive rating and no wonder Brian's team is chugging along so well!

The return of Zach LaVine has helped tremendously too, as he’s throwing in 26.6 PTS on 46.8 FG%. A weak upcoming schedule could take Squirtles to six straight wins, right into an intriguing WK7 matchup with new conference rival So Buckets. Giannis for MVP!

All the Wings

Two quick little one-for-ones as the NBA season has gotten underway. Rumors abound that owners are already looking to shift pieces, so study the recent all-time trade analysis breakdown and let's get some more going! 

Trade ID#91:

• Swamp Dragons receive D'Angelo Russell
• Funk Coalition receive Taurean Prince

Just two weeks into the 2019 season, Funk Coalition and Swamp Dragons have teamed up again for a trade. Not happy with being on the (so far) losing end of the Khris Middleton for Gordon Hayward and Andrew Wiggins deal, GM Jon came back for another of Swamp’s slumping wings: Taurean Prince.

Armed with Paul George, Middleton, and Prince at small forward, Swamp needed a point guard to slot in place of Markelle Fultz and it looks like D’Angelo is the semi-answer. (This probably speaks more about Fultz’s shaky sophomore season...) A well placed source from inside Swamp’s camp got this quote from Eddie: "I really hate Russell but I do need a PG. So it’s whatever.” The good news is that Russell is actually still only twenty-two years old and currently on his fourth NBA season, while Prince is entering his third campaign at the age of twenty-four. Let's see how this plays out, otherwise Funk could be back for Paul George!

Trade ID#92:

• Team Thien receive Andrew Wiggins
• Funk Coalition receive Nicolas Batum

Despite seemingly league wide enmity for Wiggins, Team Thien was glad to welcome the still twenty-three year old Timberwolf to his team, since New Era only had to give up 2019 RD2 selection Nicolas Batum to do it. The much maligned Wiggins averaged 17.7 PTS, 4.4 REB, 2.0 AST, 1.4 3PT, and 1.1 STL, 0.6 BLK last year, on 43.8 FG%. That’s not awful is it!? Is this a case of real life hate turning into fantasy hate? Wiggins will be happily reunited and mentored by Jimmy Butler — Thien’s haul from last year. What could possible go wrong!?

As for Funk, they continue to collect wings, and dumped the remaining remnant of their last major rebuild — which occurred a mere twenty months ago — in D'Angelo. To add it all up, Khris Middleton and Russell has turned into Hayward, Prince, and Batum. Positional versatility and defensive switchability is apparently key for Funk because "defense wins championships!"

The other good thing is that Jon has now successfully acquired his long coveted pieces of Fat Jubas’ 2012 title run in Hayward and Batum. Can a Kevin Garnett signing be far behind? [He's available, thanks ESPN!] Despite Batum’s advancing age and Hayward’s slow recovery, a Funk title is surely in the the cards soon, aka Funk remains open to deal some more...

Conference: Chamberlain

Let's take a look at our two conferences starting with Chamberlain, in our newly restructured setup. Take note of the two teams that were shifted over from the other conference, Spade and So Buckets. [Russell Conference]

Team Spade (2-19, 12-7)
Coming off twelve wins in 2017 and back-to-back division titles in 2015-6, Spade had never missed the playoffs. Well, that all came to a crashing halt in 2018 didn’t it? Injuries to Kawhi Leonard and Paul Millsap tanked this team, and maybe Randall threw in the towel?

Still, with one of the best keeper cores around — all six of Leonard, Millsap, Eric Bledsoe, Al Horford, Kevin Love, Devin Booker return — Spade is a constant threat to win a title. All of it basically comes down to injuries, as Booker is already out to start the year. The return of Minnesota Love will be a huge boon to Spade and despite having draft slot 1.3, Randall chose to trade the pick for Will Barton, and the proceeded to roll the dice on Danilo Gallinari in RD2. If the Rooster can stay even somewhat healthy, he could be a top sixty player. Big “if” though.

The mix and match bench of Kelly Olynyk, Spencer Dinwiddie, Ryan Anderson, and new Spurs' point guard Bryn Forbes brings some spare shooting but if they get a lot of minutes, that probably means Spade is dealing with too many injuries again.

LA Buffy (3-16-2, 7-11-1)
Another team at its very bottom, Buffy has also seen much better days. The good news is that a youth movement is afoot, and GM Roger is squarely on the rebuild path. Gone are old keepers George Hill and Serge Ibaka, along with Danilo Gallinari, Isaiah Thomas, and Khris Middleton. The new keeper core is headlined by 2017 #2 overall pick Brandon Ingram, who should be ready to come into his own now. The late season swap of Middleton yielded Klay Thompson and Nikola Mirotic, while Kyle Kuzma and Derrick Favors were the return from cashing out on Isaiah Thomas. Add in preseason monster Domantas Sabonis and we’re looking at a brand new Buffy core.

And who to lead all the new guys out on the floor? How about RD1.4 Trae Young?! While Young has a long way to go to fulfill his Steph Curry comps, there’s no doubt that Young will get all the shots he wants to throw up, and will add tons of nifty dimes. And should he falter, Roger drafted Reggie Jackson, Jeremy Lin, and Malcolm Brogdon with successive picks to really shore up the lead guard position -- plus Bojan Bogdanovic and Allen Crabbe for some shooting. Will that be enough to take Buffy out of the cellar?

IL Conceived (8-12-1, 0-18-1)
After inheriting a winless team led by Jeff Teague and Jrue Holiday, Frank has fully transformed the former Jedi Knights into a promising playoff team. After a handful of trades and a dispersal draft, IL Conceived’s keepers now look like: Donovan Mitchell, Dennis Smith Jr, Draymond Green, Dario Saric, Marc Gasol, and Will Barton (since moved). Add that all together and we’re looking at a promising young core, plus the veteran savvy of Draymond and Gasol in the middle. Not bad!

With the potential to win now, IL Conceived still invested in youth by using their Toilet Bowl runner-up to grab RD1.2 Luka Doncic and then traded Barton to Spade to get 1.3 and nabbed Jaren Jackson Jr. Could he have scored two more prizes in another loaded draft? Looks like it! Another rookie, athletic Miles Bridges came on-board in RD2, followed by hometown shooter Eric Gordon and then Willy Hernangomez. Plus Aaron Holiday, the um, replacement Holiday brother. With a fast ascent ahead, IL Conceived will look to fully shed its dark past and take this formerly sorry franchise to the top!

Hilt the Stilt (9-11-1, 4-15)
Taking over for Sager’s Suit and Ties, new owner Dave would have inherited a veteran laden team pre-dispersal. However, during the three-team dispersal, Dave eschewed anyone remotely old and their “team elder” is twenty-six year old Victor Oladipo, the most recent NBA Most Improved Player. Here’s the rest of the keepers: Andre Drummond, Steven Adams, and Josh Richardson are all twenty-five, while Aaron Gordon is twenty-three. Throw in possible blow up sophomore Jarrett Allen at twenty years old and Hilt is looking very future forward.

And to prove that Hilt the Stilt is building for the long haul, they reeled in rookies Kevin Knox and Mikal Bridges with their first two picks, plus nabbed coveted Derrick White after Dejounte Murray went down to injury -- but now White is out, ouch. While there is bit of a hole at point guard -- unless uber-subs Terry Rozier hit or Fred VanVleet get more minutes -- this team is not only super young but also very likely quite competitive. Oladipo, Drummond, and Gordon can all be multi-category monsters and we’re thrilled to see what Dave can do for this year and many years to come!

Squirtle Squad (9-10-2, 8-11)
Upended in the first round one year after getting runner-up in the Toilet Bowl last year, Squirtle is thirsting to get back into the playoffs after two years spent as a number-one seed in the Toilet Bowl — and three years removed from a division title. With a big upgrade at the end of the keeper core with Lonzo Ball and Dejounte Murray over Marquese Chriss and Thon Maker, Squirtles were looking to re-ascend. Only problem: injuries. Ball is coming off knee surgery and Murray was just hammered with an ACL tear. With Zach LaVine just returning to full strength, it must be frustrating for Brian.

The good news is that Giannis Antetokounmpo is a leading MVP candidate and Nikola Vucevic somehow morphed into a 1+ 3PT/STL/BLK player, and he’s only twenty-seven! Is he the most underrated fantasy asset around? There’s a bit of age on keeper staple Goran Dragic but he’s coming off his first All-Star game so there’s likely still plenty of fire left in Dragon.

During the draft, Brian nabbed Mo Bamba at RD1.8 and can afford to wait on him. A pair of shooting guards, Evan Fournier and JJ Redick, will provide offense next to Giannis and frankly, this team is better constructed around Greek Freak than the real Bucks. DeMarre Carroll and Al-Farouq Aminu are low-end swingmen and rookie Mitchell Robinson also was pickd up. Now if only Squirtles can kick the injury bug...

Sour Snails (10-11, 17-1-1)
Never one to rest on his laurels, former multi-champ has already shoot up his keepers by moving Damian Lillard for Kemba Walker and Tobias Harris. A keeper core that was sharply divided between three top fifteen stars -- Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, Lillard -- and some toss ups now looks much deeper. Kemba and Tobias add nice depth to the Curry/Durant combo and Brook Lopez and Julius Randle are now both freed form the shackles of Lakerdom. We’re not sure what Isaiah Thomas has left but he’ll at least score in bunches.

With rumors swirling that Snails was working on another mega-deal during the draft, the ex-defending champs are looking to return to title contention. RD1 pick Caris LeVert could be on the verge of a breakout and once again, Nerlens “Dwight-bola Jr.” Noel returns to perhaps redeem his career. Trieu scooped up Pascal Siakam, JaVale McGee, and Trey Lyles to round out the bench. After just a ten-win regular season and a low playoff seed, we thought we were rid of the Snails’ dynasty, but with last year’s upset Finals run, and a slight rejiggering of keepers, Snails is still a threat to win it all.


So Buckets (14-6-1, 11-8)
With two playoff appearances in a row and a Voltron division title to boast about, So Buckets were getting so good that they were shifted over to Chamberlain to help balance the conferences! The tight core of Joel Embiid, Kyrie Irving, DeMar DeRozan, Rudy Gobert, and CJ McCollum (plus Jabari Parker replacing Dario Saric) recently ranked as one of the best in SlamNation. Having collected all that talent mostly through the draft, So Buckets is now primed and ready for a title run.

And doesn’t Josh know it! Their draft has reflected their title aspirations as they took known quantities like Harrison Barnes, Dwight Howard, and Carmelo Anthony RD1-3. Yes yes, we know it’s Dwight and Melo, but both still have their uses. Howard is a huge double-double and Melo will bomb 3PT in Houston. Barnes isn’t an exciting player but he’s a steady point getter. Add in young prospects like Montrezl Harrell and Frank Ntilikina waiting on the bench and the only question for this ring chaser is how many games Embiid can play this season. If it's more than sixty-five, So Buckets should be a strong title contender once again.

Another Bad Creation (15-5-1, 9-10)
Coming off three straight Transformer division titles, Another Bad Creation led Chamberlain in regular season wins last year but continued their disturbing trend of getting upset in the first round — twice by Fat Jubas, last year by Snails. The entire keeper roster has been overturned, save for Russell Westbrook and LaMarcus Aldridge. Tyreke Evans was a beast last year, and here’s hoping he stays that way in Indiana. Enes Kanter has found Internet fame and a home in New York, and TJ Warren just gets buckets. We’re not exactly what Reggie Bullock is doing being kept but apparently he's the the way to a breakout?

There’s no questioning that Oliver knows what he’s doing though, as their rising win total suggests. Building a squad around Westbrook serves as an interesting challenge and the draft brought in Elfrid Payton, Kyle Anderson, Rodney Hood, and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. All four have some room to grow, as well as redemptive paths. Maybe Suns rookie Elie Okobo will grab a role in Phoenix, or Jonathon Simmons increases his in Orland, but really all ABC needs is Westbrook to stay healthy to lead them toward a first round playoff win.

Conference: Russell

And welcome to the newly constructed Russell Conference, with two brand new teams, Fat Jubas and Fob Stars! [Chamberlain Conference]

Team Cameltoe (5-15-1, 7-12)
Accruing only a combined twelve wins since entering SlamNation two seasons ago, Cameltoe had seemed poised for immediate success behind Anthony Davis. Instead, fellow dispersal draft pieces Carmelo Anthony, Brook Lopez, and Mike Conley have all been traded off, while Derrick Rose and Elfrid Payton were left to wilt in the wind. The new-look Cameltoe is squarely positioned for a fresh future, but how long can The Brow wait for playoff contention?

Three 2018 rookies were retained on Cameltoe’s new keeper core: Josh Jackson, Malik Monk, and Harry Giles. Only Jackson flashed anything last season, but Monk and Giles should have bigger roles in their sophomore year. They’ll be joined by more rookies, Marvin Bagley III and Michael Porter Jr, who were Felipe’s 2019 RD1 and RD2 selections. Throw in keeper Buddy Hield, who has cut out a nice role in Sacramento, and steady point guards in Darren Collison and DJ Augustin -- plus Marcin Gortat and Wes Matthews -- and we’re still probably looking at another run in the Toilet Bowl for Cameltoe. But hey, playing the rookie lottery is exciting! We’re going to watch this developmental team closely and hope Davis and the kids can show some marked improvement this season.

Snack Bears (6-15, 4-15)
Since hitting a surprise playoff year in their first season, 2016, Snack Bears have undergone a name change, a few tough seasons, some hit-and-miss picks, and now finally, a dispersal draft that should move them away from the big ball that had both served them well and also let them down. The old core of Andre Drummond, Dwight Howard, Rajon Rondo, and Marcus Smart are gone. The new dispersed core now consists of Kristaps Porzingis, Bradley Beal, Blake Griffin, Jaylen Brown, last year’s RD1.4 pick De’Aaron Fox, and Tim Hardaway Jr. Given the chance for a soft reset after inheriting a weak team, GM Brandon is prepped to take Snack Bears back to its initial success and winning ways.

But first, some seasoning, as this year’s draft brought in rookies Wendell Carter Jr, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, plus sophomores Jordan Bell and Bam Adebayo. That’s a pretty young bunch, but loads of promise abound. Rajon Rondo and PJ Tucker are around too for some veteran leadership. With Porzingis likely held out all year, it looks like Bears is going to look toward next season for playoff contention and give their new guys a year to learn the ropes. We like this plan and while another winning record may not be coming this year, a strong run in the Toilet Bowl would prove that Snack is back on track.

Swamp Dragons (12-7-2, 10-9)
Gone are three of last year’s keeper core, sold off for other parts or dumped into the free agent pool. Swamp Dragons were brimming with talent and romped their way to back-to-back Toilet Bowls, securing two straight number one selections. Of course, those can be treat-or-treat and last year’s first pick, Markelle Fultz, made no impact and is now finally, hopefully, returning to form. There’s fewer doubts about this year’s selection though, as DeAndre Ayton projects to be a PTS/REB monster right out of the gate. (After a summer expecting Luka Doncic to go first, pundits were mildly shocked that Eddie went with Ayton.)

Now there’s a three-headed center monster of Ayton, Nikola Jokic, and Jusuf Nurkic. Add in the wing rotation of Paul George, newly acquired Khris Middleton, and Taurean Prince, and this team is only missing a point guard to lead them. Hello Markelle! Just to be safe though, Eddie drafted Patrick Beverly with their extra RD2 acquired from their Eric Gordon trade last year.

The rest of the draft brought in Jeremy Lamb, Markieff Morris, and Avery Bradley, but really, they’ll just be fillers since this is hardly an injury prone squad. It’s been four years out of the playoffs for this team that has two Finals appearances to its name, and if Swamp can’t get into the playoff this year with the shift in rules, something went terribly wrong.

Fob Stars (10-10-1, 9-10)
After being lumped in with two other teams that were declared “franchise player-less,” GM Jimmy went right out and traded for one: Damian Lillard. Portland’s lead guard is in his absolute prime. Sure, losing Kemba Walker (aka “Dame Lillard East”) and Tobias Harris hurts overall depth, but getting a gold-plated star should be a boon for Fob. With Jamal Murray and John Collins being touted as this season’s breakout candidates, Fob Stars could soon replenish their roster anyway. The lob duo of Ricky Rubio and DeAndre Jordan are still around too, with Rubio looking to return to some better assist numbers.

The draft also unearthed a third breakout candidate: sophomore Jonathan Isaac, whose defensive numbers are already quite impressive. He resembles RD2 pick Rondae Hollis-Jefferson in that regard, and then Jimmy went with even more defense by selecting Jerami Grant, Dwight Powell, and Justise Winslow to round out his draft. And you’d think Jimmy went to Michigan with his loyalty to Trey Burke, who he originally drafted in 2014 and keeps finding his way onto Fob Stars. It’s been three straight years in the playoffs for this once moribund franchise and even switched over to a new conference, Fob Stars are aiming for bigger things after notching their first playoff win ever last season in a RD1 upset of Fat Jubas.

Fat Jubas (12-9, 13-5-1)
Speaking of upsets, from 2015-17, Jubas entered the playoffs as a #3 seed and always upset their higher ranked opponent — until last year when they rose to a #2 seed but were taken out by Fob Stars. Still, with eight playoff appearances in nine seasons, Jubas are tied with Sour Snails and Spade in that category. Add in Jubas' 2012 title, plus a sterling 99-61-5 (0.619) overall record, and Jubas can lay claim to being the third-best team in SlamNation history. So what next?

With Chris Paul in slow decline, the window for Jubas could be closing soon. Jonas Valanciunas and Myles Turner are still around but Harrison Barnes and Gordon Hayward were traded away last season, and longtime keeper Nicolas Batum was cut — Eric drafted Batum back in 2011. The new trio of Jrue Holiday, Jeff Teague, and Robert Covington were all trade acquisitions, and should help Eric keep the team fresh and the victories flowing. Investing on some more help on the frontline, Eric drafted Willie Cauley-Stein and Serge Ibaka, and then brought on wings Joe Ingles, Kent Bazemore, and Bogdan Bogdanovic as clean up, as well as Cavaliers' earlier season starter George Hill. Coming off the heels of a Chamberlain Silverhawks division title, Jubas were moved over to Russell Conference but should be right at home in the top of the standings there as well.

Thien’s Team (13-7-1, 14-5)
Another team that is no stranger to success — plus boasting the accolade of “the only Slam team to never have had a losing record” — Thien’s variously nicknamed teams have always cleaned up in the regular season. After initially having trouble getting out of the first round of the playoffs, Thien has reached two Finals in recent years but there still remains one road block: his brother, Trieu. We may need a Brother Bowl III to settle the score because so far it’s 2-0 Trieu vs Thien.

With a roster devastated by injury last season, Thien still managed to make the playoffs but they conceded their first round match by trading for injured Jimmy Butler and Mike Conley right before the playoffs.  The bad news is, this year hasn’t started off much healthier. New Warrior DeMarcus is still on the shelf while last year’s rookie steal, Lauri Markkanen, is also hurt. And Jimmy Butler -- Oh Jimmy! -- is embroiled in a semi-stand off with the Timberwolves. It won’t be until mid-season that we see what this team can really do.

Still, the games must go on and Thien will use Dennis Schroder, Nicolas Batum, Bobby Portis, Thaddeus Young, and um, Alex Len as stop gaps. Thien also drafted Christian Wood, whom I had to Google and it turned out he’s been lighting up the preseason as a 6’10 3PT/REB monster. That’s the kind of digging Thien is known for and we should all be wary of The New Era’s second half spurt.

Funk Coalition (13-7-1, 7-12)
After years of ineptitude and a commitment to punt compositions with Rondo/Rubio and Drummond/DeAndre big ball, Funk came out of nowhere to notch their first winning record and their second playoff appearance in franchise history. After a year of waiting on redshirt rookie Ben Simmons — who ironically would be the best punt categories point guard ever — GM Jon was lucky enough to hit on Karl-Anthony Towns, Simmons, and Jayson Tatum in successive drafts. A pre-draft trade for Gordon Hayward and Andrew Wiggins filled out the rest of the new keeper roster, along with perennial tease D’Angelo Russell.

Having had a small taste of success, Funk went all-in on this year’s draft for veteran help, signaling a desire to make further noise this season. Lou Williams, Rudy Gay, and Trevor Ariza are all long in the tooth but they are proven products. James Johnson and Marcus Smart are both versatile tough guys but also likely max-ed out fantasy-wise. The only young guy drafted this year was sophomore OG Anunoby, who is known more for his defense than his fantasy game. Jury’s out on if Funk’s successful 2018 was a blip on the radar or the first sign of a consistent team to fear.

Chunky Monkeys (20-1, 18-1)
It took longer than expected, especially after three straight RD1 exits, but Chunky Monkeys finally climbed the mountain and won a ring, and did it against the three-time defending champs to boot! It took a singular will to win and MVP-level seasons from both James Harden and LeBron James to get it done but Evan did it! And now the question is: can they can repeat? Or rather: do they want to repeat?!

Well, word on the street is that GM Evan is ready to blow it up after capturing the long elusive title. We knew it was no lie when Evan ruthlessly cut Finals hero Marc Gasol to make room for Kris Dunn on the keeper roster. Ouch! I guess Gasol can get his ring mailed to him? The fivesome of Harden, James, Kyle Lowry, Clint Capela, and Otto Porter Jr. are still tough to beat but subbing out Gasol means a youth movement is here.

The draft brought in rookie Collin Sexton, who could prove to a steal at the bottom of the first round. Larry Nance Jr. will get a shot at replacing Gasol on the boards while Josh Hart, Mario Hezonja, and Kelly Oubre are here to give the Harden/LBJ duo some shooting options. Jakob Poeltl is aboard too, and he’s intriguing but also no Gasol, Pau or Marc. The biggest question of all is if LeBron stays on this team through the year (or is a mega-deal coming), as Monkeys are mystifyingly shying away from a true title defense. Or is it all a ruse by Evan to get the rest of Slam to let our guards down? After all, this team has only lost three games total in two years, so let’s call it what it still is: a juggernaut.

Pre-Draft Trades 2019

Last year's pre/draft trades was highlighted by a Carmelo Anthony acquisition by Thien. This year the fireworks were a bit brighter, with an All-Pro moved, a recovering All-Star, and a move by IL Conceived that essentially gave them this year's 1.3 overall selection for their sixth keeper. Interesting stuff all around!

Trade ID#88:
• Swamp Dragons receive Khris Middleton
• Funk Coalition receive Gordon Hayward, Andrew Wiggins

Trade ID#89:
• Team Spade receive Will Barton
• IL Conceived receive 2019 RD1 (1.3 - Jaren Jackson Jr)

Trade ID#90:
• Fob Stars receive Damian Lillard, Sour Snails 2019 RD2 (2.15 - Jordan Clarkson), 2020 RD3, and option to switch 2020 RD2 draft slot with Sour Snails
• Sour Snails receive Kemba Walker, Tobias Harris, Fob Stars 2020 RD4

Trade ID#91: The first move was of 2019 involved the same player as the last move of 2018: Gordon Hayward. Swamp Dragons acquired Hayward right before the Toilet Bowl in exchange for Jeff Teague and Robert Covington, to give Fat Jubas a shot at a long playoff run. As it turned out, Jubas was upset in the first round last year while Swamp didn't even need either Teague or Covington to clinch a second Toilet Bowl title. Now they'll add Khris Middleton's well-rounded stat line -- 20.1 PTS, 5.2 REB, 4.0 AST, 1.8 3PT, 1.5 STL -- to their keeper core.

Funk Coalition meanwhile had just acquired Middleton for their playoff run, by flipping over Klay Thompson and Nikola Mirotic to Buffy. Hayward has looked slow to recover from his gruesome injury and Andrew Wiggins is well, Andrew "No Heart"Wiggins. Also, it's safe to say that Swamp's 2016 trade off of LeBron for Wiggins and Jabari Parker was a huge hit for Eddie.

Trade ID#92: Frank took Will Barton with his last dispersal pick and then immediately flipped him to Spade for the third overall pick in 2019. Randall rarely drafts rookies anyway and was looking to poach one of the dispersal candidates, settling on swingman Barton and his 15.7 PTS, 5.0 REB, 4.3 AST, and 1.9 3PT plus healthy percentages.

Even if stretch big man Jaren Jackson Jr isn't in line for a starting job right away like DeAndre Ayton or Luka Doncic, IL Conceived has, at the very least, landed the understudy to Marc Gasol, in real life and fantasy.

Trade ID#91: It looks like Trieu just doesn't like Damian Lillard! After re-acquiring him for the stretch run last year, Sour Snails made a big pre-draft move to ship out Lillard to bring in additional depth. Kemba Walker and Tobias Harris aren't quite franchise-level players -- argue all you want Hornets fans -- but they are pretty damn good. Walker averaged 22.1 PTS, 5.6 AST, 2.9 3PT, 1.1 STL, on 43.1 FG%, which isn't a big drop from Lillard's numbers. And Harris has really rounded out to a nice 19.3 PTS, 6.0 REB, 1.2 STL, 2.2 3PT, on 47.3 FG% during his time with the Clippers. That's a lot of value for Lillard, and Sour Snails is once again pretty deep despite trading off a top twenty-five guy.

As for Fob Stars, while it was tough to part with their top duo, bringing in Lillard juices up their PTS, AST, and 3PT just slightly, while giving them a true franchise player to build around. With Lillard making first team All-NBA last season and rumors of either hed or Walker being traded to Lakerland this year, it'll be interesting to see how Snails and Stars will integrate their new points guards!

Trade Analysis: All-Time

One of the great things about Slam is that the nine category setup is conducive to lots of trading. We’ve had almost ninety trades over nine years, spanning from 2010 - 2019, and we’ve barely started 2019! Sure some of those are for draft positioning or whatnot, minor stuff, but we’ve had some huge blockbusters as well. LeBron James himself has been traded three times!

Note: It would be nice to just respond or give a quick "no" if someone contacts you about a trade. Just to be polite! Going dark is a strategy, I suppose, but a response is nicer!

[Full Trade Analysis Sheet]

Let’s take a look at some trade stats:

• Our last three seasons have all eclipsed ten-plus trade each, while 2012 was our highest trades by volume, fourteen moves that year.
• Historically, most trades are centered around October and March, when each season starts and then when the regular season ends. In-season, Feb and Dec are great times for trading!

• Most willing trade owners (by historical volume): Jon, Trieu, Evan, Thien, Brian
• Most likely to trade owners (by trades / years ratio): Jon, Frank, Trieu, Felipe, Evan/Thien
• Ten of our current sixteen owners — albeit with newbie Dave — average about a trade a season. Not bad!
• Five owners average less than a trade per season: Oliver, Brandon, Jimmy, Randall, Josh

• The only trade Josh has participated in ever is ID#70 in 2017, a swap of Myles Turner for CJ McCollum
• Before this season’s pre-draft swap with IL Conceived, Randall had only ever traded during a draft. And that was a league mandated trade the year Spade came into the league. So this recent swap of Will Barton for 2019 RD1.3 was Randall’s first trade in SlamNation ever! (ID#33 in 2014)
• Josh and Randall have been in Slam for seven and five years, respectively, and that means we need to up their trade volume!
• In just one year at the helm, Frank has already participated in three trades, giving IL Conceived a very high yearly trade ratio. Can it continue?

Who Is Trading With Whom?
It seems logical that we are more likely to trade with those we’re in contact with. For example, I spam everyone when I’m looking for a trade. But since I know where to find all the owners, that seems like a (unfair) communication advantage.

People are always asking me how to reach such and such an owner. Well, let’s find an easy way for us all to connect, and not have organization chaos like Thibodeau and Glen Taylor! Toward that end, join the new Slack, where we’ll have a dedicated #trade_channel to discuss potential trades!

Also, another thing I looked at was how many different trade partners everyone had. For example, Jon has had thirteen different trade partners, while Trieu has had twelve (out of twenty-five possible other owners, historically). Contrast that with Thien, whose trades with Trieu have accounted for eight out of twelve of his total trades. More trade partners everyone, do-si-do!

Most frequent trade partners:
Thien / Trieu (8)
Jon / Brian (5)
Trieu / Jon (4)
Oliver / Alvin (4)*
Eddie / Evan (3)

Eric has been very egalitarian, with two trades apiece with three owners and one each with Eddie, Frank, and Josh (plus C-Lucas who has retired) out of his ten total trades.

However, a trend I see over and over is that most people tend to trade within their immediate circle. What gives!? For example, the original CTDB fantasy football owners — Jon, Evan, Roger, Eric, Jimmy — have racked up quite a few trades in-between them. For example, take a look at Evan. Booooo. Let's make a commitment to stop in-group trading!

How do we increase communication, and more trading with everybody? I, for one, will now make it a goal to trade with every current owner, no matter how small. So Dave, Evan, Felipe, Frank, Josh, and Randall, step right up, let's talk! Every move doesn’t have to be a mega-blockbuster but the more trades the more fun, plus I'll have stuff to article about!

Some past trade articles:

• Trade Machine: Where we dole out some easy trade ideas like big/small or young/old!
• Trade Machine 2017: In-depth looks at teams needs and wants!
• Take a cruise through the current and replacement owners to get to know them, and our old "Mock Drafting the Owners" article